Tale 097 ~Braxton’s Needlessly Picky Virgil…~

Soon I will end up in a waiting room with crappy magazines. A car dealership, the mechanic down the street, or a health clinic. With Braxton, it was an orange bench and “my” thoughts. A picky thing, books? Braxton’s Needlessly Picky Virgil…

Friday, October 6, 2023

Tale 097 ~Braxton’s Needlessly Picky Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… As soon as I find one. Best thing I’ve read today or not. Day Job schedule

It thrills, terrifies, and takes stones, not knowing what I’m doing to get paid again. Oh, how I miss my son. Let me count the ways. When it came to Braxton, money was no object, Sophia. Unfortunately, his Daddy was lazy and angry. And by my math, that equals one thing. Indifference. Is that why I want to read about dead fur babies? To feel what I should have felt the moment Braxton tried to tell me something was wrong. I swear these people. My Lady, they do anything and everything for their fur kids. Where was I, Sophia? Hmm. Reading and writing. As if I really believed I was getting brighter and taking care. Repetition, that’s what Hell is. Repetition. My boy’s death repeated.

Hell! I didn’t find him alive in Virgil. But I see him leaving me, again and again, and again, My Lady. And before his passing… okay, and after with what I’ve been doing all day. Lust would be my darkest sin. It’s Friday, September 29, 2023. A whole week, Sophia. Anyway, if I have to go and TRY to get the car fixed, I need a book that takes my mind off things. I continue to think about Backyard Dungeon 2 by Logan Jacobs. But didn’t I say something about one of the races in the first one? The Nictors? To take offense? Lady Sophia, with everything in the world today and me paying these racists anyway, hmm. There’s other HaremLit, Erotica, Carnival of Flesh

And how about all the other books I have in the Kindle Library? There’s something educational every now and again. Funny, this fascination with reading kept me out of textbooks. But with the Republican party these days. Righteousness over wickedness. That’s the easiest decision to make. Yeah, the GOP are the baddies, Obviously, My Lady. Only choosing between books filled with wise words I will never follow. There are stories of crimes that would keep me on the straight and narrow path… Ha-Ha! What about something to help Virgil? As if I have patience… sitting in bed, talking. Braxton had it easy: peanut butter, cheese, or hot dogs. Free Will? More like spoiled. Sophia? All because I’m lacking waiting room reading. Braxton’s Needlessly Picky Virgil…

978 Days Without B III, Day 419 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 093 ~No Scar Is The Same~

“Cause it hurts when you hurt somebody.” And I don’t want to do that… That’s a lie. When it comes to certain people, pain is fun. But I never wanted to hurt B III, 2V, or scar people. And how’s that working out. Chicks dig scars? No Scar Is The Same.

Monday, October 2, 2023

Tale 093 ~No Scar Is The Same~

Three-Hundredth And Eleventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… This means I must always be hurting somebody. And yet, I’ll play the victim. But these scars…

Heart, Mind, Body, And Soul. I want to say I don’t have a heart. But a lie against B? Madam, I remember when they told me B had a Heart Murmur. I have his medications. And twice every day… at least once (sniffles), I call him for “Medicine Time.” But in the end, it was his kidneys that failed. I failed Braxton, my son, prince. Hell! The littlest God, Madam. And talk about not being healed or leaving a scar. A broken heart, 974 Days. Well, by the time you read this, anyway. I’m way in the past. With Time Travel, it’s Sunday, September 24, 2023. Still in the month of E-Day. Oh! You know we’re going to talk about that. And thirty-nine still sucks.

My head hurts. But the only scars I ever hear about came from my sister when she cut my forehead. Or whichever poor lady cuts my hair. As I don’t take care of myself, sigh. The real damage is my mind, though. Have you noticed how I talk to myself? Hell! The fact that I do talk to myself at all. And about what? How Republicans scar us all daily. My body, though. I’ve noticed… yeah I still have The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident tag. There’s also the memory of The Cherry Collision. What do I have in the closet, along with every outfit for potential partners? I call myself as a sadist. But I’m just a sucker for pain. And what about my soul?

Without Braxton’s death and the ninth circle, I’d be headed for the second with my LUST. This blog, The Pic Phenomenon, character customizations, lingerie purchases…

My poor Ma… from my mother’s womb, untimely ripped. A scar I’m sure she bares. Madam, that’s something I wish I could heal. Again, we’ve moved beyond E-Day for another year, but if I had my way… All I’ve ever done is cause her pain; I know it. Hmm. Then there’s my son, my granddad’s funeral, the fur baby I adopted. Virgil doesn’t cry… Not until I leave the house anyway. And for now, he must be bored out of his mind, poor guy. Me? Besides billionaire status, I’m worried and pained. So many scars… No Scar Is The Same

974 Days Without B III, Day 415 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 091 ~Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil~

I’m on a roll… At least when it comes to “my” depression. My flat behind sitting in bed. Then, the car, going to places I would rather not be. Like somebody’s waiting room. Waiting to lose more cash. Well, it isn’t my son. Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil.

Saturday, September 30, 2023

Tale 091 ~Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And I still wouldn’t go anywhere. What a way to be positive! Hmm? No, NOT TODAY.

To keep things in perspective, It’s not like I’m going to lose Triple B Lady Lunalesca. Sunday, January 31, 2021, continues reigning as the worst car ride. Hell! I’m sure Braxton suspected that one day he’d get in the car and never see HOME again. And here we are, 972 Days in. Oh, B’s still with me everywhere I go. Heart, head, hanging around my neck. As people wear a crucifix, I wear my pendant with Braxton’s ashes. Positivity, Ha! Once again, not today. And it’s not like Virgil is getting off light either. Let him howl away. I would rather stay with him than deal with anything out in the world, to be sure. But then how would we eat? How will we, Lunalesca?

I was on a roll after yesterday. I had to time travel through an entire week. Short of talking to you again. What a way to start the week after E-Day month. As the song goes, “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” It’s more like, “So wake me up when it’s all over. When I’m wiser, and I’m older.” It has yet to happen. Luna, time keeps rolling along. As I hope the car does. Long enough to get me to the dealership mechanic. And then what happens? I can see whatever cash I have. Coins rolling away from me. The bank vault wheel closes up on me. Because what business do I have with them anymore? Put on a happy face. I think not

Not when it’s so easy to roll it over into a frown. And speaking of rolling over. If you’re wondering what is taking me so long today to talk to you. Anything to feel good… I’m like a slug, Lady Lunalesca, slithering, slobbering, but I have not yet slimed… Eww. Being on my belly or going to fetch some lube. Wouldn’t that require some legwork? Lunalesca, did I say that out loud? Am I finding reasons to miss the car, the inspiration I need to pay for it today? Sigh…

In August, it was the fence. It’s still broken. This month, it was me. And I’m wrecked. To say the least. Facing October, it’s the car. “Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.” Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil.

972 Days Without B III, Day 413 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 090 ~Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…~

Being in some car dealership’s waiting room. It beats being on the side of the road. Or worse places. I could be sitting on the couch and get a call that B is dying. Then, cradling him in the waiting room. Try reading… Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…

Friday, September 29, 2023

Tale 090 ~Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Ah? Do you like that? It’s a new intro I’m trying out for you, Lady Sophia.

Anyway, my story. Well, B’s story. Because Sophia, a day doesn’t go by without Braxton. His tale that is? See what I did there? I’m not trying to be funny. At 5:00 in the morning… “This is blasphemy! This is madness!” No. That was when I was sitting in Banfield’s “Waiting Room” for the word that my son would die. So much for any positivity today. Hmm? I’ve gotten back into listening to Motivational speeches… Only because I need audiobooks? Virgil, on the other hand? I should find him a chew toy shaped like a book so he’ll have something to do while he waits here. He doesn’t want to be left waiting all alone. Braxton’s room can be a scary place. So I’m assuming…

There’s no such thing as a comfortable waiting room. But we try desperately, Lady Sophia.

With books? Lady Sophia, I finished “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel” yesterday. That makes thirty-nine books this year. Again, being positive does not work for me. Being thirty-nine, E-Day, and breaking B III’s reading record, Sophia.

And as THEY say, a picture is worth a thousand words. So what was I doing last night with nothing to read? The Pic Phenomenon. I swear I saw this one girl and started going nuts. But did I… you know? Will I lie to you or myself? It usually ends up being both, ha-ha.

And taking my first break today, I was reading about how much having babies cost.

Only Lady Sophia, this bed is my waiting room. “When Will My Life Begin?” Existence?

It starts when I can pay my bills. I’ll have to drive the car to the shop this weekend. Again, I’ll channel those thoughts of how much it cost to tell me Braxton was dying. And then for them to do the deed. But Sophia, I always blame myself. And the Day Job, of course.

I should go to a doctor’s waiting room for myself. I can’t imagine my life without Braxton. I can’t recall a time I felt in good health either. I mean, when nothing is wrong, Sophia.

And my boys, both the dead and the living, are waiting for me… TO DO SOMETHING! Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…

971 Days Without B III, Day 412 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 086 ~Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving~

I had a “phase” when I asked God to save me. There were those days I asked God to save B. Like the song goes, He’s My Son. And what about saving myself? “I’m the bad guy, duh.” I need saving from the radio. Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving.

Monday, September 25, 2023

Tale 086 ~Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving~

Three-Hundredth And Tenth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… so say it with me… You’re No Hero! I’m far from it. But Ma’am, I know one.

Okay… a few more. But I, as always, want to talk about my son, who was/is my hero. B. Be my hero… get it? Yeah, I’ve never been one for comedy as I’m not one to be brave ha. The comedian and caped crusader are dead. I wish I could add my cowardice, Madam. But no. My courage died alongside my son. And what about Virgil? He ain’t Braxton. Madam, my son was/is a big, brave dog… in spirit. What drew me to Virgil was the fact that I saw fear. I am my father’s son and don’t want to be um… scary. I mean, both Virgil and I are afraid to exist. But I saved him. What does that make me? A big hero, Ma’am. Ain’t we just. Firefly?

In case you were wondering where that bit of diatribe came from. Plus, censorship. Critics. One more reason I ain’t a hero and more like a Republican. Won’t I defend free speech? There’s plenty of which I should be fighting for every day. “It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving,” the song says. That’s why we need heroes and champions. I need my son. But when he needed me? Virgil needs me? A hero born and one in the making. What does it take, Madam? Daddies are heroes, or they should be. But with V. Hell, with existence in general? “Wish I’d been a prom KING, fighting for the title,” I swear this pop culture.

Because today, I would instead pay off a villain and possible racist in Logan Jacobs. Speaking with Lady Sophia this morning, I said I needed more audiobooks. Am I Wrong? This Is America. So that means, in one way or another, I’m paying off a racist somewhere down the line. And while I’m no Republican or one to stick to the status quo… yeah, right. I want to play the villain. Or should I say antihero, depending on your definition? I could say I’m giving myself too much credit since all I want, I’d do right here in bed. Madam, I want to write books, run a brothel, and make “specific” movies. Sheets become capes? For Braxton, myself, a wife? Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving

967 Days Without B III, Day 408 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 084 ~Virgil, We Gonna B~

I didn’t know what to tell Braxton while he was dying. And I don’t know what to tell Virgil while he’s living. But they both sat in the same car seat, and I was trying to remember how to breathe. I was broke in more ways than one. Virgil, We Gonna B.

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Tale 084 ~Virgil, We Gonna B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Alright. Why do I tell myself this lie every morning? You don’t have to wake up.

So, is the night worse? Hell! Anytime I get to close my eyes, I consider it a win, Lady Lu. If anything, I need to count “my” blessings. I need to show gratitude this morning. There is money to spend this Saturday… Did I say that out loud for real? I mean, I did buy another audiobook. And since you know Lady Lunalesca, I won’t be finishing “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” Not today anyway, Lunalesca. There’s not a moment that goes by without bad news. I’ve got seven days to finish. Anyway, back to gratitude, AHEM. I’m keeping Imogen Linn in business reading about the Pessumae Christi. I’m learning new words like “Meretrix.” He who increases knowledge increases sorrow. Right…

No wonder Republicans would choose to stay STUPID and angry. And you know me, Lady Lunalesca. I’m always angry… and afraid. But I don’t want to be STUPID. Not ever. But where was I? Oh yeah. Blacked has their merchandise back in stock. What would M Anime think about that? And I’ve been going on for days about character customizations. As if I have time to worry about the book I was writing about Cherry… to a certain degree, Luna. I checked the Day Job schedule. I’m still broke, but with so many hours, Ha. Again, gratitude? How about that the fence hasn’t fallen? But who knows, it’s dark out. Braxton would be going crazy. Lunalesca, did you think I forgot about him? Virgil’s alright.

Oh, he’ll never be my son. That’s pretty harsh. More like both he and I will never be, B III. Did you see what I did there? It wasn’t much of nothing. I’ll never be much of nothing, even after this thirty-ninth “Exist Day.” Before that was M Anime’s thirty-fifth birthday. Yabbos? I meant to use the B-word, but you know how the critic gets. But I’ll always be obsessed with them. And whatever pair I’m blessed with seeing today while out and about, hmm. Broke, even more than now, is something I can expect as well. Shopping, existing, failing. Because B ain’t here. And how are we gonna be alright without my firstborn, Lunalesca? Breathing’s what I do. That’s existence. Virgil, We Gonna B

965 Days Without B III, Day 406 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 083 ~I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil~

So I can say I read the worst thing. The number 527. Braxton held the record at 526, as he was still in the world, but now? Now, I’m debating reading for Kindle Challenges. More books on dead fur babies. And… sigh, HaremLit. I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil

Friday, September 22, 2023

Tale 083 ~I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… No matter how many times I read that, it ain’t true. But I’m thirty-nine with E-Day…

One more reason I look like a Republican. No, I don’t mean with skin tone, ha-ha. I mean the fact that I hate “my” history. Again, I’m thirty-nine, and what have I done? Nothing! Hell! The past three years have been spent reading about how to bury fur babies. But I should check how many books I’ve read on that subject. And I’m not feeling my Kindle right now. Amongst other things, but we’ll get to that, Lady Sophia. I haven’t broken 161, hmm. But 527? Last night, while reading “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” I broke my record with Monsieur B. That started Wednesday, September 16, 2020. Sigh. Yes, I know the streak ended Wednesday, February 23, 2022. Wi-Fi failure…

But I still got to see a day when Braxton was in the world, and now that reminder is gone. So there I was last night. And I’m apologizing for “forgetting” my son again, Lady Sophia. Forgetting, of course, isn’t the right word, but critics… And speaking of which, why don’t I give them something to criticize for real? All the books that I’ve written and should be writing. But Day Job plus laziness? Look what time it is. I should have been up at four. And while playing around with the phone for a while. What was I reading? Instead, what was I looking at? It’s not like I could have any fun. Virgil gets to sleep here. No reading on the couch yesterday

Who knows? If Virgil gets fifteen years like Braxton. Only I’ll be sitting here ranting and raving about minimum wage, making a change, and turning a page in existence. Too late! My Lady, I’ll be forty next year, and what will I be doing regarding reading and writing? Which do you think is more pathetic? Reading about dead fur babies. Or, let’s say, women and elements of life? For now, I’ll stick with my Amazon book orders —except for Eric Vall. I’ve made it through his series again, and Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 isn’t an audiobook yet. I still think Logan Jacobs is racist to an extent with “Backyard Dungeon.” And what of the “HaremLit” I’m writing? Seriously, Cherry and Braxton would be upset —the characterizations. I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil.

964 Days Without B III, Day 405 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 079 ~Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings~

I’ve kept V alive for 401 days. B had 15 years. Now, what made B happy? Comfy spots, cuddling with his Aunt’s Yabbos, and counting the minutes until his Dad arrived home. I survived 15 E-Days with him. But Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings.

Monday, September 18, 2023

Tale 079 ~Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings~

Three-Hundredth And Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… But I have seen that billionaires are the cringiest, crabbiest, and crappiest people. They don’t die. Submarine…

So does that mean I want to be happy? Today, Sunday, September 17, 2023, I long to die, Madam. It will be no different by the time you read this. But “Love and Happiness,” huh? Love died with my little boy, my Braxton. And Happiness? The seventh E-Day. I think. I survived that one and the thirty-ninth, too. Somehow, someway, I’m surviving. But for what? As I told Lady Lunalesca yesterday. Pop culture has been bouncing around inside my head. “My” Existence is a mix of 2009’s The Road, Half-Life 2, 1984, and Equilibrium. Sigh. As the song plays, “I keep asking God what I’m for. And he tells me, “Gee, I’m not sure,” sigh. I’m doing a lot of that, Madam. I’m still breathing.

So, shouldn’t I show some gratitude? That’s not one of the meditations I’ve done today. And I got enough gratitude with those motivational speeches I once played daily. Ha-ha! From wanting to move forward in this existence. To seek only the will to endure. Endure and Survive? But don’t plan on being happy for the love of everything, Madam. Hell! I love Braxton like pancakes, but he didn’t make me happy. I was/am proud of him, Madam. I was a Papa. I pounded the pavement of this existence. That’s because I promised him that I would keep him safe. And here I go, crying again because how’d that turn out? Madam, with all the stories I tell myself. Braxton didn’t die happy. Brave, proud, loved…

But Happy… That’s a question I don’t ask the Man in the Mirror anymore. I don’t ask how to survive either, to be fair. It’s what I do? It’s like that fable “The Scorpion and the Frog.” But neither of them survived? One more reason I’m so “in love with dyin’,” as it were. “We are The Walking Dead,” “We are the Dead,” and that’s how it is, Madam. Life, Living, Love? No! Every day, I rise from the dead. And I move like everyone else towards… I don’t know. But zombies, the infected, and the stupid. Viruses Madam. Stupidity has infected me. And the cure? One day, I’ll find out, Madam, if I survive. Do I want to? Knowing Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings

960 Days Without B III, Day 401 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 077 ~A W, V, Braxton~

When first I saw Virgil, I heard Braxton’s “voice,” saying… I can’t make this more black and white, Dad, pick him up. And he made bosoms look nice the way he would cuddle Carolina’s. And then money or the lack thereof. Don’t I want “A W, V, Braxton?”

Saturday, September 16, 2023

Tale 077 ~A W, V, Braxton~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… sigh, and it’s still not enough. I want it all, and I want it right now.

Stupid, greedy, getting naughty in the dark… I promise you, Lady Lunalesca, I’m not joining the GOP. And yet… Well, I’m mad at what happened at the bank yesterday. Hmm. There are worse things. Braxton is not getting any deader. Wow! That’s pretty harsh. Right? And when’s the last time I heard from Braxton? This morning, I suppose. Sucker Punch. Lunalesca, I mean both the feeling and the song from the movie I Want It All/We Will Rock You Mashup. So what is it my son is trying to tell me, Lunalesca? I don’t know. Thirty-nine years of existence, and I’m still confused as all Hell. Or scared to death. Please! “It’s foolish to ask for luxuries in times like these.” Pop culture’s popping today.

Unlike other things… And Braxton wouldn’t want me that happy, like him with his toys. But in all the things I’ve read and listened to. I swear between Eric Vall’s Harem romances and Imogen Linn’s Erotica. I’m keeping them both in business. There are also vampires. Like I was telling Lady Sophia yesterday. I didn’t have time for that. Winning? Victory? Each book is just that, Lady Lunalesca. Whether I’m reading or writing. There’s no time. Hell! I told B all the time. Once I get this done… What, become a wealthy man? When I have a bunch of women in bed? Let’s have the world wrapped around my finger. But with love, aren’t you already winning? Is that what Braxton is trying to say?

I don’t know if I told you about the two days I had people buy me breakfast and lunch out of the blue. And as much as I hate both the Day Job and E-Day, I got free food, right? And now, yesterday, I see someone left their money in the cash tray at the ATM, and I… don’t take it? Doesn’t money make me happy? Bosoms, Yabbos, Gazongas, Lunalesca. On more than one occasion… Braxton found his happiness cuddling with hers during movies. Sigh. Only I’m never happy. I couldn’t tell you what I am today, Lunalesca, besides exhausted. Only those fur baby books tell me our children would want us to be happy, to get those wins and victories. A W, V, Braxton

958 Days Without B III, Day 399 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Do you remember reading about Carlee Russell? And what about the stuff she was reading? As for me… what do you do when someone leaves their cash at the ATM? Where do Miranda Rights come from? But I’m not a thief… of money… Virgil And Miranda, B.

Friday, September 15, 2023

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Or maybe I would be if I were another stupid thief. A member of the GOP?

But I would rather not read about them. Another old GOP white guy escaping punishment? And I’m not Hunter Biden, either. No, Sophia, as the song goes, “Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.” And while I’m busy singing, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Braxton’s Daddy is always a black man. And in America, what’s even worse. Stupidity? Uh, no. So why didn’t I get stupid today? Existence is either a porno or a crime, Sophia. I saw some ladies outside of Walmart today. And I immediately began rehearsing a script from “Street Blowjobs.” Or “Blacked?” Anyway, existence has been taxing, sigh —a week after the thirty-ninth E-Day. And Braxton’s been gone 957 days. “Just Another” day.

At least I’m not in a jail cell. And Virgil isn’t learning to read “Miranda Rights.” He won’t be hearing about vampires either. I know, I know, Lady Sophia. You’re asking what did I do today. Instead, it’s what I didn’t do. But I was talking to Braxton’s Aunt. So…

I’m at the ATM waiting to be broke again. Sophia, I drive up and see the cash tray is open. “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all!” I don’t know how much money was there, but FREE MONEY! Now, we’ve all heard this question. If you found a million dollars in the street, would you take it? Yes! But my Ma didn’t raise no fool. Well, she did. But like most women, she’s into those crime shows, ha-ha.

Why am I not a killer? Well, that’s a lie. I know you’re sick of reading this. I killed Braxton. Anyway, with people, I’d never get away with it. The same with thievery. Cash money. ATMs have cameras and all sorts of security. Who knows what might have happened if I had run off with that money? Uh, jail? Desire is desire. And yet, today, I didn’t steal a thing. Stupid! As I said, what would some of the ladies do outside of Walmart for the right price in their desperation? And speaking of women, what will I download today that I haven’t paid for? I know a few people who own rather unscrupulous software. Criminality Sophia? But Virgil needs me? Virgil And Miranda, B.

957 Days Without B III, Day 398 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will