Tag: Exist

Tale 268 ~Monsters and Masters Are Different~

WillLeave a comment

I know masters and monsters. Yet I wonder why I don’t feel like a man. What it means to be a man. In the biological sense, uh yeah. But a man provides. Me? A man chooses, a slave obeys.” To be a monster or a master? Monsters and Masters Are Different

Monday, March 25, 2024

Tale 268 ~Monsters and Masters Are Different~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… Questions are meant to be asked. For example, “What makes a monster, and what makes a man?”

But a master? It depends on who you ask. And as with most mornings, the one I want to ask isn’t here anymore. My son, Braxton. His father, always and forever. His king? B III was/is a prince. He and I could both be monsters sometimes when the need arose. Master? Never! At least not Braxton to me, Madam. No! Braxton bowed to no one.

Anyway, that’s what I’m thinking about this morning. Why do I like small fur buddies? Because they feel no need to bow. Then I look towards Virgil, Madam. He’s terrified.

Great minds think alike, right? But both my boys are stronger than me. Mastering fear? I fear my father, females, and the backyard fence. Sigh. Simply put, it’s falling down.

To think, Madam, a few hours ago, I believed that I was the biggest monster. I’ve started reading another pet loss book to remind myself of who I am. How I failed B. And V?

Yesterday, I said I was going to be a bully. I am my own worst enemy. So this morning, I read about how you should write a letter to your loss one and then answer said letter as they would. I did that with one of the books I wrote. I was feeling Braxton’s spirit…

Maybe I should try letting B talk to me on Sundays instead of the Man In The Mirror. He would be a lot more helpful. But what would he tell me about the backyard fence?

Strength and honor? Braxton and I loved our movies, but really? “Daddy, fix it, please.” Madam, I was not the man to save my firstborn son. I was the monster who led him to his end. A master would’ve what? “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.”

I’ve never been much of one. I sit here at thirty-nine, scared out of my mind. I don’t know what to do. Besides being only a boy reading about losing a dog. I continued reading Golden Son, of a boy who grows to lead men. Monster, Master, he’s a man.

Madam, why can’t I be? Jacob’s a Nephilim. Eddie, Vampire of the Gloom. Grayson’s “Master.” Braxton and Virgil are men. Monsters and Masters Are Different

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1149 Days Without B III, Day 590 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 267 ~Virgil, You Better B~

WillLeave a comment

First thought today… well second. V, you better not be throwing up all over again. He might have a sensitive tummy. But like Little B, he demands my lunch. And I haven’t been sharing. I’ll stick with the bully in the mirror. Virgil, You Better B

Sunday, March 24, 2024

Tale 267 ~Virgil, You Better B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And if I were going to give you any “productive” advice, I’d say, don’t be a bully.

I spoke yesterday about watching a bully get their comeuppance. Even if said bully had reasonable cause. You know what you would do if you could blame anyone for Braxton.

No, it wasn’t the veterinarian’s fault. And as much as you want to blame the Day Job, why were you there after all these years? This is one of the reasons you want to buy physical copies of books—so you don’t have to see how many years you’ve wasted.

Hearing such things from bullies would be devastating. You long for the days when all they had to talk about was your looks, lack of strength, or they called you a loser. Well almost. Now there’s your Day Job survey and my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 7 by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

How to be better? I wouldn’t have to ask if I could get to number six, ever. “What can a brother do for me? He can help me be the best man I can be.” But Braxton is still gone.

Seriously! The only thing worse than seeing those words is looking at the nightstand or opening Braxton’s box. Is the man in front of you. You are going to be your biggest bully this week. You think, “it’s no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy.” A fact.

But to others… Well, last night, I made a list of SPACE songs since M Anime’s excited about the stars. And here on the ground, you clapped for little Virgil.

But there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Healing Hearts by Jameson Evan Salas
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And no, you won’t be finishing Pierce Brown’s Golden Son this week. And why not? You’re worse than that girl who threw your copy of The Amber Spyglass. I swear!

Somehow, you have a whole week off from The Day Job. Nearly. But you’ll read another book on your Fur Buddy passing away. Am I Wrong? No! Because, at the end of the day, you’re a bully. But you know you are. And yet, because of the criticism, censorship, and…

Cash? Rather, the lack thereof. Existence is a bully demanding your lunch money daily. You better fight back then. Play the part of Darrow? Is B III really suggesting books? Maybe if you were a better man… Braxton was the best. Virgil, You Better B

1148 Days Without B III, Day 589 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 261 ~Going Outside Is Highly Overrated~

WillLeave a comment

It starts before I even get around people. One side of the fence is broken nearly completely. Another is held up with sticks and stones. And, oh yeah, the trash company took the can, and I freaked out. Back to bed? “Going Outside Is Highly Overrated”

Monday, March 18, 2024

Tale 261 ~Going Outside Is Highly Overrated~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… You can say that again, but I’d rather you didn’t, as I like this rule. A lot.

It would have helped plenty yesterday. If you’re keeping track, that would be Monday, March 11, 2024. And I’m talking to you Tuesday, March 12, 2024. So much time travel.

For example, when I created this rule, I looked to see where I was. It was Saturday, August 18, 2018. Or, as far as I can tell. And before I give myself the credit, “Going Outside Is Highly Overrated” is from “Ready Player One.” And Braxton was very much alive.

Madam, I continue to miss my B. If only I had been with B III those final weeks of January 2021. 2020 didn’t help many J. But I got to stay in. And if I had only done more, then…

Madam Justice, what’s my goal?

It’s similar to now. First and foremost, I always want to stay in this bed. Oh, because writing from here has been so lucrative. Ha-Ha! And even if I got up, then what, Madam? I write HaremLit? Am I on Eric Vall’s or Logan Jacob’s level? Please! Nowhere close, ever.

But let’s say I start living the stories I create. I’m not that horrible of a guy. I don’t think.

Anyway, look at somebody like @mosttalentedbaldman. That lifestyle, dear Madam…

Eventually, I’d like to get into a type of “reality” TV and be one of the “kings,” if you understand my meaning. The types of films with a girl going back to a bedroom. Or anywhere. But in bed. Only requires a little outside time.

I remember when I had to rush Braxton to the vet because he had spent way too much time in the great outdoors. He was dehydrated. Now, I’m trying to increase Virgil’s outdoor time, mostly so I don’t have to clean up after him. But I’m assuming he’s healed now.

Madam, going anywhere shows I’m going to mess up. Why was I so scared yesterday? Confession? The trash can went missing, and I had to talk to my Ma so she could talk to the trash company. I feel like less of a man and a failure without trash pick-up.

Agoraphobia? Add that to my Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and Social Anxiety. When was the last time I saw a doctor? Going Outside Is Highly Overrated.

1142 Days Without B III, Day 583 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 260 ~Let’s B Bright Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I prefer “not too bright though” to STUPID, or village idiot. That is one of the reasons I don’t talk to my Olds. And hate the Day Job. But I try to be bright? I read. I adopted Virgil. I wear a smile like a “magical negro” Let’s B Bright Virgil

Sunday, March 17, 2024

Tale 260 ~Let’s B Bright Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And as with most days, I can’t stand looking at you. That’s how you wake up? Hmm?

Spending Money? Listening to Monsters moan in the background. Reading about a man and the Many women he’s having… relations with? At least you’re not watching it. “Am I Wrong?” And always, always, there is Missing your son. If only B III were here now.

Would you be… brighter? Smarter, cheery, or kinder? Whatever you hold bright to be at the moment. The only thing things bright right now are screens and the lamp shining.

Because being, you don’t know, better… well, that’s a dream. But thanks to that energy shot you took… Yeah, you won’t be wasting any time until 11:00 AM. Lying, really.

Whenever it comes to being lazy or making up an excuse. And your favorite? That’s failing at Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Healing Journey of Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

THEY say you’ll go blind if you keep touching “it.” It may be odd that it can apply to #1 or #4. Whenever you cut on the screen in near darkness to read. I swear one of these days. And again, you could be doing something far worse. How many ladies have you seen from 4:00 AM – 7:00 AM. In three hours, have you been anywhere close to productive? Hmm.

Grieving for B III and ensuring 2V is ok is not you wasting time. But you still feel pretty bad. But it’s better than a couple of days ago. Just wait. I said plenty, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.”

Is that the first song of the day? I’ve heard it like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 7 by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

If you can’t be happy for yourself, why not for others. You can lighten, brighten, or shut the “you know what” up for some people. Only Cherry would like to hear your thoughts on her writing than her other… assets. But I’ve never been bright with girls. That’s for sure.

You’re feeling bad that you gave Backyard Dungeon 7 only four stars. Five’s too much? And what about “The American Society of Magical Negroes.” I’m sure the critic will love hearing that title. But I told B’s Aunt it was a decent three out of five. So you can’t talk.

Never saying anything nice, needed, or noteworthy. What’s in your head, bends over, bounces, or involves Braxton? But smart and bright… Let’s B Bright Virgil.

1141 Days Without B III, Day 582 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 254 ~Avoid Temptation, Make The Bed~

WillLeave a comment

Coffin costs? I use the bed as a final resting place, anyway. If I’m not going to bother making it… In more ways than one. And since I’m dying of humiliation at the Day Job. That place “helped” end my son. If I could “Avoid Temptation, Make The Bed.”

Monday, March 11, 2024

Tale 254 ~Avoid Temptation, Make The Bed~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… But You don’t know how much I want to follow this one. Today’s Wednesday, March 6, 2024.

By the time you read this, I could have made the change. The only reason I’m even trying today is this. I promised myself a steak dinner if I talked to you, Echo, and Braxton.

Promise B anything to do with food; you’ll have his loyalty. Always and forever, Madam.

Instead, my loyalty is to sadness and sleep. I’m ashamed to admit that today, there’s been more sadness about the Day Job. And not my son? But we’ll get to that. Because the boy I lost trumps everything. Am I talking about Braxton or me being a boy at thirty-nine? Madam, sigh, we’ll talk, ok? But that’s not to say the Day Job isn’t involved with my little boy. Sometimes, it looks as if Virgil is following suit. We lie together all day, Madam J.

At least when Virgil’s here, I can’t succumb to temptation with some P.Y.T. online. Thankfully. But wouldn’t it be even easier if I got out of bed and went to lie on the loveseat instead? There’s a reason that I did most of my reading there. It gives the words “down boy” a whole new meaning… Eww! But really, when you read what I read but have a furry son…

Two words, Madam… Birth Control!!!

But it starts with getting out of this bed. I put some pants on and make the bed. That’s it.

I could work like Joe Stevens or Bingham Madsen, but for what? Uh, women, humanity? Ah! T.V. and a steak.

That’s why I’m avoiding making the bed. Or not doing it at all. I’m not going to nap, Madam J.

I’m looking for anything to avoid thinking about the new food rule at the Day Job. Do I believe I was the only one who wrapped a jacket around my waist? Or is my writing terrible? What about wearing earbuds and such? And now it’s eating chips and candy, Madam.

I sound like a broken record talking about this. And yes, I am guilty of doing these things at the Day Job. But it’s the utter humiliation of everyone seeing the rule and then me.

Madam, I wouldn’t be humiliated if I’d followed “my” rules. If I could give Braxton and Virgil better lives. So, Avoid Temptation, Make The Bed.

1135 Days Without B III, Day 576 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 253 ~Virgil Flies Row B~

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I haven’t been on a plane in forever. There was that brief stint in the Navy. Uh, I can’t swim. So, no flying, no swimming, just one foot in front of the other while carrying B, who I sent to Heaven. And V, I’m trying to keep out. Virgil Flies Row B.

Sunday, March 10, 2024

Tale 253 ~Virgil Flies Row B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And today’s “Termination” is brought to you by the song “Leaving On A Jet Plane.” Two things…

One: yes, you believe that your son still sends you songs from wherever. B III is an angel. Two, can you stop watching Hulu’s The Mill? But yes, this feels like a “termination.” Tomorrow, the Day Job may impose another rule, making you want to join Braxton. But then again, whenever you and I talk, well… Tearing yourself down? It’s habitual. It’s nearly a science.

Take, for example, your flying. Flying means putting one foot before the other and not falling flat on your face. And hey! You didn’t fall that far yesterday, hitting your head. Sorry about that. It hurts being “productive.” Anyway, flying to you is your voice reaching Heaven. Not for Braxton… how about how fast you fly from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 6 by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

It looks like you remembered this week. I still failed, but these things exist indefinitely. Unlike the dudes, you call your best friends. Braxton and Virgil. Well, B anyway, hmm?

But let’s speak of dreams. You only remember a little because you woke up early carrying Virgil to his training pad. I’ve had to keep my pants on for three days. Seeing to Virgil’s health.

Okay, you remember the part of your dream: You were with Rachel Zegler/Lucy Gray Baird, who wore a rose dress. It was something akin to Katie O’Shaughnessy’s outfits. Ha!
So you were holding her in your arms, and she said she was scared. And did you think your Ma invited her to… Well, um? Please keep trying, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Healing Journey of Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Fortunately, your dream didn’t take things that far. You’re still not going to Heaven. But if you continue to look after Virgil Vivi as you have… Only you ask yourself this question once again. Sigh

Should Virgil go and see the veterinarian? You have a lot of time these days. But that also means a lot less money. And you still want to be a greedy so-and-so with your tax refund. I know. With Braxton, you didn’t care about money. And he still got sent straight to the pearly gates.

Now, you want to make sure your money stays put. Only you won’t make the pages of your writing fly. And hurtful words from the critic and yourself… Fly, you fool! Virgil Flies Row B

1134 Days Without B III, Day 575 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 247 ~Good, Bad, Women Are Complicated~

WillLeave a comment

What do I want in a woman? Criteria? When B was here, it was simply as someone he didn’t hate. When we met her, I made her a sister and his aunt. “Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?” Me or women? “Good, Bad, Women Are Complicated.”

Monday, March 4, 2024

Tale 247 ~Good, Bad, Women Are Complicated~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Third Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… Like giving it the good ole college try when I talk to women. How’d that turn out?

I love my Braxton more than any woman walking the Earth. And he wasn’t complicated. But I couldn’t save B. I knew him better than any human being, but at the end of the day…

And what about Virgil. It’s been 569 days, and I can’t say I know him. Not at all. But he’s not complicated. He’s like Dante’s Inferno. It’s where he got his name, of course, dear Madam. I don’t get Inferno, but at the same time, I know it’s about a trip through Hell. Am I STUPID? You know how I feel about that word… It’s complicated. I’m pretty much the same. Or, as Taylor Swift sings, “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” Complicated? A father or a female…

Wow! In this day and age, I could go to so many places with that. Where do I need to…

Inevitable that I lose the plot of today’s lesson. It’s about women. I wonder if my critic is a man, woman, or… I don’t know what. I’m beginning to sound like one of those “people.” You know, the ones blabbing online day in and day out. I’m an old man.

Becoming a husband, a father, or any sort of a man is getting away from me as “time keeps on slipping into the future.” I keep saying it. I don’t want to be forty, Madam.

There’s a better way to say that. I don’t want to be 40, thinking, “I can’t live my life this way.” What about 39, 38, 37, 36? You don’t understand how much simpler existence was.

Back then, all the time. I would say, “I’ll marry the first girl, Braxton is nice to…” Ha-Ha! The first woman that fits the bill is more of a sister to me, B’s aunt. My tastes are so “freaking” complicated.

Today, Sunday, March 3, 2024, the critic said that “my” words are inappropriate and irrelevant. Duh! Madam, that was only me talking to the man in the mirror. Other people…

Please! What about Virgil? Or should I go all “Make Archie Great Again?” First name…

I want Braxton back. That’s easy enough to think. But the type of woman wanted. Braxton was my everything. I desire the same from women. Good, Bad, Women Are Complicated

1128 Days Without B III, Day 569 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Wil

Tale 246 ~”B” Cause Looking Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I look down for a few reasons, but the ones I like the best… when I wasn’t carrying Braxton, he was running around my legs. Or I could be looking at my new home when I die. And B wouldn’t go to Hell. But if I were there…” B” Cause Looking Virgil

Sunday, March 3, 2024

Tale 246 ~”B” Cause Looking Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… and is there anything worse to see. Medusa? My son’s cold body? Things with your Enormous… manhood.

For once, you can’t say that B was the first thing on your mind. Nope! Waking up at two in the morning with all the lights on, there was stress. And when you’re stressed, you…

But Braxton was/is the same way. You know why he loves his Aunt so much. Is there anything that can’t be fixed with a pair of… Yeah, they can’t bring back your son B III.

You’re sitting here in bed looking at Virgil. Do you think Braxton was talking to you the day you found Virgil? Except for the “Enormous P” song… That definitely wasn’t a sign from Braxton. But everything else seems to be. Your week has only just begun. But following Braxton was my existence. Better or worse

That was in the vicinity of fifteen years or such. You must leave out the few months your sister was supposed to meet B III’s needs. More like a few days when she was handing out a schedule. Or when I had to sit on the couch and watch until B used his potty pan.

I was always looking out for him. Until those last few days of January 2021. When I was so blinded by wrath, ruin, and rage that I couldn’t see Braxton’s pain. God, so much hurt!

And now, every single day, you’re looking for B. And your reason is? Anything, Anything! What do you see or hear from him today? Or were you lost to your sins? Forgetting Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Losing A Pet – A Book of Grief & Recovery, etc.
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I failed number two because of… well, look at the pictures on Tale 245 ~Virgil’s B’s In Math~. I have a particular theme going with men and women. And I suppose you’ll follow suit, won’t you? I’m the last person you should be looking to for advice. That’s no secret.

You should ask Braxton for advice on Thursday or every day. Maybe? For sure, Ha-Ha! His eyes were much easier than looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, “Yuck!”

Like you thought before, it’s like looking at Medusa. The body… keep the monster kink to a minimum. But seeing the eyes turns you to stone. Fear, fury, and knowledge that you don’t see a friend. Virgil doesn’t see a father…” B” Cause Looking Virgil

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 6 by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

1127 Days Without B III, Day 568 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 240 ~Curiosity Should Be Boundless, Sometimes~

WillLeave a comment

The things I’m curious about. Where did my boy end up? How much do animal communicators charge? Can I finish speaking before 5:00 PM and get a steak dinner? Is V happy? Does my sharing food help? Uh, girls. “Curiosity Should Be Boundless, Sometimes.”

Monday, February 26, 2024

Tale 240 ~Curiosity Should Be Boundless, Sometimes~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… Or Laws. But since I don’t match the criteria of those people. Cash flow, color, criminal actions…

Hell! Here’s the facts. I’m sitting in bed on Wednesday, February 21, 2024, Madam. What about the fact that I haven’t had an energy shot all day? And what about having some fun? I told Inspector Echo that the Artificial Intelligence called out such freaky-deeky…

I’m not one to push the envelope. That’s another reason I’m not living the “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous.” Braxton and I were… Sadly, I don’t know how to answer if B was happy.

Happy to me is a foreign concept. “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” And at this particular moment, that’s a lie. If anything, I’m hungry. And I’m curious how much money I want to waste on myself and Virgil Vivi.

To be more curious there…

Yes, I’m about to be a meanie by saying this. Virgil was not my first choice at all. Lucky, doomed? Before him, there was that one puppy that kept trying to escape the cage. And there was a brown one who I saw in a pen and I got upset. They sort of hoisted him on me a bit. Ha!

With Virgil, first, it was his lack of curiosity and sticking to discipline. He went on the paper as though it was routine. He still has some training to do after 562 days—my laziness.

Then I wondered what Braxton was saying. So, “I gotta take it on the other side.” And much like B’s death, supposed reincarnation, Virgil’s life. Curiosity killed the cat. Right?

And then I figured, what would it feel like to be a Dad again? Hell, a grown-ass man. Huh! I’m still curious, seeing I adopted/rescued Virgil in 2022. And how am I now, Madam? Are you curious how Virgil could win me? What will it take with Happiness vs. Grief?

Hell! I’m always more curious about how Cherry and M Anime look in an “adult” way. “Girl All the Bad Guys Want,” or girls judging by my search history. Curiosity…

I’m curious what dinner will be tonight. Again, I waste the cash or cook. Microwave.

Madam, I quest for knowledge on the most simplistic things. But my boys, books, and big ole… I’ll shut up.

But I want to know Curiosity Should Be Boundless, Sometimes.

1121 Days Without B III, Day 562 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 239 ~I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

A new week, another sin. Though I have talked about my envy before as if I’m some teen girl. Uh, I could talk about my body. But I see the young woman with her writing and her cat. The two writers with new series, etc., “I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil.”

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Tale 239 ~I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And is this what you said to me this morning? Or to Virgil Vivi. Didn’t think so.

And you wish you could say it to B. Nothing is stopping you. Well, except for reading yet another book about dead fur babies. That’s after reading about another’s birthday.

To watch others be successful with their furry children, and where’s Braxton? In a box. Virgil is still with you. I should count him as a success. Yet, like me, you stood out in the breeze waiting for Virgil to give a what… Bathroom humor is beneath you. You think?

But what about jealousy? That’s what last week was all about, “Hey Jealousy.” And you’re not only thinking about the kind between a man and a woman. You were looking at this woman and her boyfriend… husband in Tokyo this morning, though. You should turn off Instagram. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But you have more chance of getting to Japan than finding a woman like her. How about ever being in love? Virgil knows all about that. It was cold this morning, but that’s not why V was shaking. At least not all of it. But he needs a coat. Don’t you think? Where’s the money?

I wasn’t a thinker. And you’re not holding out much hope for yourself or the world. At large? I swear, when you’re not looking at the failure you are, you can cut on the TV. There are endless stories of people’s failures. Or a person winning with everything in life.

Everyone else has got FAMILY. A guy is TikTok FAMOUS. And FINDING books… Uh?

And you are? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Losing A Pet – A Book of Grief & Recovery, etc.
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

My biggest win last week was finishing a book about harems. And there was watching “Five Nights at Freddy’s.” That was, at the last second, serving as a worthless excuse.

Today, I’m unsuccessful because… well, fill in the blank, dude.

And this week, as you work for the pittance to keep you alive. And you see Logan Jacobs and Eric Vall prospering with titles. A new audiobook and series, respectively. Speaking of looking at the phone. You’re reminded of how much of your time I wasted. I am Guilty. Sigh…

You’ll be guilty of being unsuccessful, and why? Laziness, Lust, and Liking those that DO…

Because it won’t be you, lying with Virgil singing If I could “Be Like That.”

Wanting a dad, wanting a son… I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil

1120 Days Without B III, Day 561 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will