Tag: Humiliation

Meditation 167 ~Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B~

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I need to start thinking of a Christmas list. More spirits are listening now than on Halloween and the day Braxton was Euthanized. Santa, ghosts, loved ones, etc. Because when I tell myself what I want, well… Hello, “Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B”

Sunday, December 15, 2024

Meditation 167 ~Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Can you see me? Not Braxton out of the corner of your eye. The man in bed…

And definitely, not all the pictures you took of yourself thinking you could make money.

Onlyfans? That’s the last place you need to be with no money. But why were you so late this morning? Uh, Blacked and such pretty, pretty girls Christmas giving, receiving…

Comes but once a year… Eww! Can you stop? If you could only stop looking at Yabbos the way you look at Cherry’s Wish List. Or buying M Anime some Blacked clothing. And what does Braxton’s Aunt want for Christmas? You haven’t forgotten your mother?

https://vixenbrand.com/collections/blacked/products/blacked-bralette

Birthdays are the worst. Correction, your Emergence Day is the worst. Everyone else is okay with theirs. But you don’t want to see the future. Your broken future. George Orwell?

The past? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

If you’re looking for one more thing to fail, how about wasting money? Buying George Orwell’s 1984 cost a pretty penny. But the last thing you need is to remember that a month from now, you’ll owe somebody money, namely Kindle. They have holiday spirit.

Do you know why everyone has holiday spirit? Because they’re killing themselves trying to keep up with everything this season. Hell, with your Day Job, you see more zombies, vampires subsisting on coffee, people former ghosts of themselves, and spirits than on Halloween. The Nightmare Before Christmas. So, what are you doing at Christmas time?

Again, there are no Christmas romances. I started 1984 yesterday. You’ve avoided the entirety of Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You. Yeah, like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING 1984 by Mr. George Orwell
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this rate, I have to ask. Do you even have the spirit of a man? You have been awake for nine hours and have already failed number six. You need the money for five. You were fighting number four. Number three’s in limbo, always and forever. I swear, dude…

Number two… Well, she doesn’t look like Braxton. And Gee Whiz, it’s Christmas. Or it will be in a week. And you will do nothing because you can do nothing. You’re the John Wick of your dreams. Baba Yaga, if you will. And number one… 1984 is a big book. However, to see your future… Look! Now get the eff out of my sight. Such is Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1414 Days Without B III, Day 855 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 165 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Reading What~

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I noticed Kindle kept track of my reading on September 6, 2020. According to them, I read 23 books. B III didn’t live to see the following September. But I have a feeling he’s still here. I need to clean up my reading. Virgil, Braxton’s Reading What.

Friday, December 13, 2024

Meditation 165 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Reading What~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I was asleep, the end. It’s 9:30 AM. So far, I’ve read clocks and bank statements.

Is this how Braxton felt anytime I started reading anything at all? My little Gaston.

No, Sophia, that wasn’t one of Braxton’s nicknames. But I did have a wild night of sleep, dreaming of Disney Princesses and OTHERS. I know, Eww! My dreams are making up for my lack of Christmas Romances this year. Though Brave New World has a bit of bedroom action… I can’t say I wouldn’t have behaved as Bernard did. And John not having Lenina… Sophia, I was going to say something, awfully MAGA. Again, Eww!

And that’s why I’m on this dystopian shtick. Is it any better than reading romances?

That’s one more reason I’m late this morning. A picture is worth a thousand words. Violet Myers and Bang Bros.

Sophia, I swear M Anime told me a dream she had about wearing one of these Oktoberfest outfits. But when Violet did it, they called it Oktoberbreasts. And to think I’ll never make it as a writer. Eric Vall, Logan Jacobs, Michael Dalton, Jack Pinkhunter…

Sophia, when I’m not looking at existence as a musical or a rock opera, it’s some HARDCORE movie, if you catch my drift. Or it’s my personal Hell. Everything hurts.

Honestly… I don’t know what that lady’s sign read; I was too busy thinking like some skeevy director or writer. And didn’t I read the grocery bill yesterday? Real food…

Whatever. As long as Virgil ain’t starving. I should read a book on dog training. But Braxton didn’t need one.

A newspaper to the behind… Those were dark days, Lady Sophia. So’s my reading list.

I need to finish Brave New World today. Depending on who you ask, Kindle vs Goodreads, I’ve completed 52 books this year. And I’m about to waste even more money.

What comes next, Lady Sophia? I WANT to read Satan’s Sorority Girls 8 and Ryan and His Beauties 2. I wish I could lean into tradition for Christmas. But again, I’m reading about the world I have to look forward to. 1984, Fahrenheit 451, It Can’t Happen Here, and others. And what of my writing? It’s been a struggle, and I feel like I’ve wasted another twenty-nine dollars. So yeah

Inevitably, I’ll be broke if my Old Man keeps texting. I see why dogs don’t read. Virgil, Braxton’s Reading What

“For in much wisdom is much grief, and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” Ecclesiastes

1412 Days Without B III, Day 853 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 162 ~Virgil On B’s Downgrade~

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I hope he, she, or they are not like me; I hope they understand. Fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. A man raises his wife and children higher than himself. It worked for B. He got sent to Heaven. Uh, low. But myself. “Virgil On B’s Downgrade”

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Meditation 162 ~Virgil On B’s Downgrade~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Above myself? Of course. But my love is like hope. I keep none for myself.

Uh, you married a geek. I can only tell you a little about Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, etc. But nevertheless, a geek. I read, and I know things. Game Of Thrones? With all my time off, not counting when you’re reading this, you would think I would catch up with some pop culture. Wrestling, Wickedness, the Wh***dom of my novel. I’m powering down.

Today is Thursday, December 6, 2024. And I am a shell of my former self. Please, haven’t I been this way since I lost my boy, my Braxton? And what about Virgil? He’s so bored.

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m a downgrade from who had Virgil first. Who loved him first? He’s got comfy spots and cool water. So Cheers!

But not for me. Every day, it’s like I have to make myself so much worse. What so you’ll leave. No! Never! Ever! And if losing my firstborn didn’t do that… I still mourn him.

Existence has been forever and always downgraded without Braxton. But it could be worse. I could be Ted Mosby, forever pining away for another woman while I have our family. If a man finds an angel… And I have you, my love. His duty, honor, and privilege is to build her a Heaven. And if a man touches the sky… That’s where Heaven is? Hmm.

A man and woman must show their children the stars. The twinkle in father’s eye.

Seriously? Am I trying to be a somewhat decent writer?

I’d settle for being a decent father and friend and not too effing shabby in the sack as a husband, my love. And that’s the problem. It feels wrong to desire more but then to live with desiring less or not at all. There’s being indifferent. At the same time, if I choose what I want, what does it make me? The guy that let the vet euthanize Braxton. Love?

You know what I wanted to say. What’s a word for censorship, sadness, and disgust all rolled into one? And let’s not forget depravity. Is that why I want to do specific things with you in bed? Because I’m not worthy of an angel. Or a friend like Braxton. But fatherhood? Virgil On B’s Downgrade

1409 Days Without B III, Day 850 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

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Ending is better than mending… Guess what I’ve been reading. Braxton wasn’t something; he was someone. Like Virgil? And he couldn’t be fixed. Virgil was “broken” in a way. And myself. My bank account. And I’m taking breaks. “A Break Braxton, Virgil…”

Sunday, December 8, 2024

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And do you think you should clean it? One more thing for the to-do list. Another list…

Like another puppy? How is that working out for you? Like father, like son. Someone. Because Virgil ain’t Braxton. Oh! Why so mean this morning? It’s not like Brave New World isn’t crammed with bullies. But aren’t I a bully? Thou art a villain. But the week has only just begun, and the first question that came to mind was, Are You Happy Now? Seriously?

The last thing you need is to start fawning over one more dark-haired girl. Acting like your Stuff & Thang ain’t never seen a woman. What must Braxton’s Aunt think of you when you sent her the first three chapters of Nightmare At The Meat Market. M Anime liked the title. But what I don’t like? Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least I’m back to finishing books. And you’ve finally started your end of the world, dystopia, and evil government arc. It’s like you’re living in your own literary world, right? Well, come January with Trump. Define interesting… Oh, God, oh, god, we’re all gonna die. Making the list: Brave New World, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and It Can’t Happen Here.

Amazon still thinks you’re breaking tradition by suggesting several Christmas “Romances” and books about broken hearts over pet loss. B needed a break from you.

Inevitably, everyone does. Why look into a dog’s eyes when you can stare at Yabbos?

Before the phone “broke…” ran out of juice, whatever you saw, a yearly recap that was all Virgil’s eyes and several pairs of Yabbos. Even a video that Cherry wouldn’t appreciate… While you’re doing that, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And you can’t seem to Break On Through To The Other Side. I broke that coffee mug yesterday. It was your phone today. And your bank account… check the refrigerator.

Hell! What about your body? Winston Smith didn’t have Soma. You have a bottle full of painkillers. If you want any advice from me… All you need is one unless you plan on joining B. And that boy deserves his retirement. As if he did. B is better than Spotify.

But what does Virgil do? Well, if you gave him a chance… Now that should go on Six Impossible Things. Only the list isn’t broken. It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you. A broken thing. Braxton tried. But you’re liberal. A Break Braxton, Virgil…

1407 Days Without B III, Day 848 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 158 ~B’s Reading Room Virgil~

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I don’t think I read anything besides the Day Job schedule today. At least I still have one in comparison to the two brothers I know. The lady said get to work. They didn’t read the room. Rooms come and go like some books, ha… B’s Reading Room Virgil

Friday, December 6, 2024

Meditation 158 ~B’s Reading Room Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But I’m not in My Library/Braxton’s Room. I still prefer a Study to a Man Cave.

The Den is a room I haven’t seen in a while. Speaking of being in the wrong room one day…

The Day Job Training Room:
So I’m sitting, well, training… Weekly Wins and Ads, etc. I was also writing a list of signs one of the managers wanted to make. So, the manager came into the office without realizing I was in the training room. She and a few others talked about firing a couple of “brothers” for… not working. Lady Sophia, I was there when she warned them about it. So I can’t blame her for it. But still, I can’t help but feel sorry for my fellow black men. Their removal wasn’t racist or rushed. They didn’t read the room. My people, Sophia…

“Are you illiterate, n-word? You can’t read between the lines?

But what is this bedroom telling me? Receipts, tags that shouldn’t be removed, and my morning cappuccino isn’t as rejuvenating as I hoped it would be. Rich and flavorful, Ha.

Rich Men Make Room For:
More Money! More Money! Because I want to be part of the problem. If I had my way, Lady Sophia, I would be the whole problem. Why? I Wanna Be Rich. How about not starving? Didn’t I say something about that yesterday? But that’s because I’m broke. How about now? This isn’t boycotting Chick-fil-A because of the LGBTQ community, Sophia.

I’m not supposed to shop at Walmart because of their stance on DEI. I support DEI. I should cancel my Amazon subscription. I need to leave X/Twitter. Read the room.

Lady Sophia, it would beat reading the rap sheet. It turns out the criminals I know aren’t so smooth. I read about one group of criminals: Trump, Musk, MAGA, Racists… It’s a reflection of our society. Isn’t it? We’re doomed.

Inevitable that the ones who do crime, not in “plain sight,” would get theirs’s someday.

Room For One More Online:
Let’s just say I’m glad I learned a bit about Crypto. I use a fake email. And I should really start using a VPN for more than just P***hub. I’m not defending the criminals. But like anyone from MAGA, I’ll willingly ignore the dignity of others, wallow in degradation, and be disgusting if it justifies my deep depravity. I spent hours writing a book on much worse. But publishing such for B’s Reading Room Virgil.

1405 Days Without B III, Day 846 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 155 ~To B Humiliated, Virgil~

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During NaNoWriMo, was I ashamed of what I was writing? And now I’m embarrassed that these hands aren’t given the keys to the Day Job when I’ve been there over a decade and my “boss” has been there, um, two years… Oh, To B Humiliated, Virgil

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Meditation 155 ~To B Humiliated, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But as much as I love my firstborn son? Or how about RELATIONS? Yet Humiliation…

No love, I’m not talking about my being humiliated, “doing the deed.” Don’t get me wrong. I’m into some worrisome, wicked, and WTF kinks and fetishes in the throes of passion. Spanking? Yeah, I have issues. But I’m not talking about any of those. Later…

Dearest, today I’m talking about people. My Dad, ha-ha. My father. Memories of my old Day Job. And the people I meet daily. If I wanted any early Christmas present besides getting my dog/son back. Or the almighty dollar. The destruction of MAGA. Starting with its leader, Donald Trump. I would decide never to be humiliated ever again. Why don’t I try not to wake up in the morning? Today was one of those days, my love. More Humiliations Galore!

It’s why I tend to surround myself with so many beautiful things. Choosing not to be humiliated is like choosing not to breathe. It’s a nice thought, but don’t give me hope that it won’t happen again. I’m already tearing up. But I’m not ashamed to cry. Not for B…

And then play the song “He’s My Son.” Niagara Falls, baby doll. I’m not ashamed that I love Braxton more than my life. Hell! I’m still reading “The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend.” And if I ever in a million years would say that what I did was the right thing. It would be purely on the grounds that he didn’t have me shame him. Poor boy.

There was this movie, love…

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Love Story

Love means never having to be ashamed of being who you are. And I don’t love who I am. And so here I am, embarrassed. But who am I to you? Husband, Hero, a hell-bound best friend. How about a humiliated human being? I’ve been watching a few things all about men who would be heroes if just for one day. Only to end up as influencers, showing what not to do. Crucified. Or locked in the Ministry of Love. Um, 2023’s Share, The Book of Clarence, and 1984. I’m not ashamed to admit wanting Suzanna Hamilton, aka Julia. But to live ashamed of keys, knowledge, and keeping my cowardice. Oh, To B Humiliated, Virgil.

1402 Days Without B III, Day 843 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 153 ~Virgil, They’ll B Endings~

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It’s the 1st of Tha Month and my head is barely hanging onto my neck. It could be because I woke up early yesterday. I was busy looking for stuff to clean. Then, I laughed with my boys’ aunt. So the world didn’t end? “Virgil, They’ll B Endings.”

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Meditation 153 ~Virgil, They’ll B Endings~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And seeing how you’re standing here, I must apologize. My aunt was wrong. Me, destroying the world.

No. That’s never been my cup of tea or cappuccino. Oh, and I’m sorry I didn’t buy you any cappuccino. It was about $70.00 preparing for Braxton’s aunt. Another $46.00 on Chinese food. But hey, you’re eating right. And I had good company. The world…

Inevitably, life goes on. Or, as a great man once said, life finds a way. Not for your aunt, though. That’s a bit harsh… But isn’t that your mood right now? Trying to get laid… Honestly, no man works harder. So it is my fault that you feel so lousy. Do you want to get up and grab some painkillers? You would prefer the end with how the night ended.

Well, you’re going to lie about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VOICING M Anime’s Nightmare… Nightmare At The Meat Market NEW
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 036 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Can you guess which one you’re lying on? I can give you a hint or a clue. And the answer:

I thought better of it…

But let’s focus on #1. Have you ever failed that one? And now you’re reading list is shot to Hell. It’s been decided you’re not going to read Christmas “Romances” this year. If the world ends… Excuse me, if American ends come January, there are excellent odds that it won’t be your fault. So time to read what to expect… Oh! Right, where’s your money?

I had my first movie night with Braxton’s Aunt without Braxton, so Virgil’s Aunt. Hmm? And a good time was had by all. Virgil wasn’t too embarrassing. She loves him.

NaNoWriMo’s is done. I finished 50,000 words. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So, I survived the humiliations of Black Friday. I finished 50,000 words of a book (I can never publish). The house didn’t fall down around me, Braxton and Virgil’s Aunt, and Virgil himself. And I endured No Nut November… You messed up after midnight, friend.

And yes, we agree that we will lie about that unless you decide to mess up again today. No wonder you’ve been all “religious” considering this morning. But last night

The Book of Clarence? Or was it that you dreamed of the words from dead men? Last night, waking up from messing up, you dreamed you were surrounded by dead men. The Green Ranger, Black Panther, Braxton, and others. They said you were found wanting.

What? Virgil, They’ll B Endings.

1400 Days Without B III, Day 841 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 151 ~B Angry Little V~

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“It’s effing okay to be nice!” B’s honorary aunt is coming over. V is burning a hole in the side of my leg. I kept my Day Job after Black Friday’s humiliations. Nice scares me. It killed B. Um, Indifference? But that was being nice. B Angry Little V.

Friday, November 29, 2024

Meditation 151 ~B Angry Little V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But once again, dear one. “It’s been a big day. I’m a little tired.” And more?

Whether I want them to or not, my sons take after me. Braxton is angry and scared. Or he was when he first met his aunt. Virgil is tired and terrified. And tomorrow, Lady Sophia…

Well, Virgil will be meeting his honorary aunt for the first time. We’ll get there… However, I want to talk about what happened earlier today. I’m feeling a bit unsure. Was I brave? Have I become a billionaire yet? Did I live in a way that made my Braxton proud? Do you see the time?

Anger takes a lot out of you, Sophia. If Braxton were here, I would have woken up long before now. No! I’m not mad at Virgil doing his part, though my leg is burning, Sophia.

What did Dante tell Virgil?

“You get off my back! You think I want this?! It just happened!” What, watching “Papa’s Got a Brand-New Excuse?” Or how I’ve been thinking the whole day; we need a new plague. Black Friday has never been a fun time. And I’ve been so fearful today and humiliated so many times that I’ve been grasping at anything and everything to make me mad. “Anger is more useful than despair.” My apologies, dear Lady Sophia… For the truth? Or for quoting movies and TV. You must remember the movie nights I would share with Braxton and his honorary aunt. I need to find something for us to watch tomorrow. Hmm.

And that’s another reason I’m angry. The house is a broken mess. There’s too much…

Like tonight? I’m talking to you at 6:30 in the evening. Hell! Even my “arousal” for the PIB sisters wasn’t enough to keep me awake. Oh, and I incorporated them into my story along with others. Because I’m that much of a CREEP. I need people to hate me, Sophia.

There is too much hatred for one man to possess. Anger, at least. Bruce Banner has The Hulk. Trump has MAGA. And currently, I have writing. But I don’t hate Virgil. No, not ever! I don’t hate you, Lady Sophia. I don’t hate the people in “my” novel. If anything, you know who I hate. The guy who downed an energy shot and is about to taste, more like regurgitate the rainbow. Better out than in. B Angry Little V.

1398 Days Without B III, Day 839 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 146 ~Virgil’s Weakness To B~

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“No place for weakness. Only the hard and strong may call themselves Spartans.” I only called myself B’s Dad. And now I’m just another guy with regards to V. A WEAK and a pathetic one at that. But to somehow survive this week. Virgil’s Weakness To B.

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Meditation 146 ~Virgil’s Weakness To B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I don’t envy you. I was about to vent about my work, but then I realized the weight of your work and the Day Job. I can only imagine how tough this week will be. Sigh

But your work? Add on the Day Job as well… At the end of the day, which you wish was today or Friday, November 29. 2024. You’ll have lived one of the worst weeks ever.

Nothing will ever be worse than the week Braxton passed away. But considering you’re only now just waking up… This week is already shaping up to be pretty effing terrible.

Oh, come on now! I’ve said plenty worse than the word, effing. I’ve been working on the novel this past week. And now it’s up to you to finish it. And again, that’s on top of you having to survive the Day Job. No wonder you woke up looking for a grave after looking for Braxton. Not, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Little Guidance: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (3)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You feel gross with having to thank MAGA for not being gross when it comes to #4. This has been the easiest and the HARDEST No Nut November ever. Sure, there have been trials, temptations, and traps. What about TRIUMPH? What, the insult comic dog?

Madness. And I’ve still been staying away from the news since the election. Weak people. Or should you say the people you’re going to meet this week? And you’re sick.

No! You write fiction. It’s other people that have ruined the country. Racist and Ra*ist. Women are a much better weakness than outright ignorance. Then again, what have you been writing lately? Or stealing? Bible Black, Saimin Seishidou, other animations…

Anything to avoid what the world is. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VOICING M Anime’s Nightmare… Nightmare At The Meat Market NEW
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s rare that the list changes. You’re so tempted to put down, don’t wake up tomorrow morning. There is nothing in it for you. And I’m sorry I don’t have any words of encouragement for you. I can’t even give you the outline for the next chapter, though you know how the story will end. How will this week end? Other than the Humiliations Galore. But that’s an everyday occurrence. If only you could wake up with the knowledge of what awaits you. Ignorance is bliss… More like 1984. Seriously.

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
1984

Art imitates life. Uh, you should rethink your booklist for the holiday season. Get past Thanksgiving and Black Friday first… Be a better Man because you’re Virgil’s Weakness To B

1393 Days Without B III, Day 834 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 144 ~Closer Than B, Virgil~

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WARNING: 18+ For elements and the outline of the novel I’m writing. What’s one more day of being lazy? Well, I did make the outline bigger. It’s 600 words. But as the song goes, “And I don’t wanna miss a thing.” 40 years? 15? 4? Closer Than B, Virgil

Friday, November 22, 2024

Meditation 144 ~Closer Than B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But not today. I should finish “my” novel by the end of the month. Good Luck!

Braxton willing. Because I don’t believe in God anymore. He, She, They, or It didn’t save my firstborn son. And Virgil? He’s been closer lately, as I have been burnt out with writing. The Smiths tune inspired today’s fifteenth chapter, Please Let Me Get What I Want. And by another song, Pistolgrip-Pump by Volume 10.

Chapter Fifteen: What I Pump This Time
Cherry prepares to be of service to Richard Thornfield, William, and Antonio. But plans to fulfill her desires.

  1. From Cherry’s POV. Begin in Cherry’s car as she speeds to work, expecting good news from Richard Thornfield. Cherry believes that Richard Thornfield has had enough of Sofía. And he’ll either sell her to someone far away from William. Hide her. Or kill her. Cherry smiles at the possibilities.
  2. Cherry quickly remembers William’s love for Sofía and fears Richard Thornfield could give William the news without her. Fearing that William may do something drastic, Cherry begins to drive even faster to reach Thornfield’s office in time. Upon arriving, Cherry strips to her red nightie and enters Thornfield’s office.
  3. Cherry watches Richard Thornfield having sex with a BBW nurse who’s around her size. Not stopping, Richard grunts orders to Cherry about the party they will be having at his hotel in a few days with his business associates. Richard Thornfield invites Cherry and says William has been too.
  4. Cherry asks about the fate of Sofía. Richard Thornfield tells her that Sofía is the main attraction and will be used to satisfy his business associates. When Cherry asks about William, Richard Thornfield says he is creating another scene for Sofía and is selecting girls to attend the party.
  5. Cherry walks down the hall in her red pumps. Cherry comes to one of the rooms and opens the door. Inside, several women stand in various stages of undress. But they all have a doctor or nurse vibe. The women pull William, attempting to entice him to select them.
  6. Cherry watches as William is eventually undressed except for his black socks but resists their advances. Cherry asks William if she can give him some stress relief by having sex, but he declines her offer. William says there is currently a movie being made that he must check on.
  7. Cherry and William go to another room done up as a hospital motif. Sofía is dressed in a pink nurse’s uniform and is currently having sex with a man dressed as a patient. William can’t help himself as he strokes himself off to the scene. Cherry’s heart beats faster.
  8. Cherry attempts to distract William by asking what is this scene for. Grabbing William’s other hand, Cherry rubs it across her own breasts. William continues watching Sofía but tells Cherry it’s a screen test for another rough scene in which Sofía will have to perform at Richard Thornfield’s party.
  9. Cherry gives up, attempting to entice William, and walks out angrily. Cherry picks up her clothes outside Richard Thornfield’s office and gets in her car. In her anger, Cherry finds herself outside a small gun shop. Cherry intends to buy several weapons, but the owner reminds her of William.
  10. Cherry seduces the owner, and they have sex in his office. As the owner promises Cherry anything she wants, Cherry begins to form a plan. Cherry, being trusted by Richard Thornfield, knows she can buy weapons for his party’s security. After orgasming, Cherry takes a few guns for herself.
  11. Cherry then drives to Antonio’s home. Cherry finds Antonio in a state of madness as he realizes that Sofía is more popular than ever and that Richard Thornfield will not be getting rid of Sofía anytime soon. Cherry orders Antonio to sit as she points a shotgun at him.
  12. Antonio and Cherry talk about the next part of the plan. Cherry in an act of faith hands Antonio the shotgun. Cherry warns him that if she were to die, Antonio wouldn’t survive the night. Antonio isn’t sure who should die. Cherry watches him jerk off to Sofía’s movies.

15,000 words to go, Lady Sophia, out of 50,000. So close. Closer Than B, Virgil.

1391 Days Without B III, Day 832 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will