Tag: Learn

Meditation 196 ~Right To B Silent~

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I’d always tell my son Braxton to shut up. But when he barked, it was helping me or explaining his side. My other boy, Virgil, never makes a sound unless I’m leaving or he’s hurt. But I’ll take their noise or silence over people. “Right To B Silent.”

Monday, January 13, 2025

Meditation 196 ~Right To B Silent~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Can you hear me now? Good… That might have even been before my time, Dad. We’re old men here.

Here. You and me, always and forever, if we’re singing The Wannadies. Or forever and always, I’m always here if you’re thinking Jimi Jamison. The facts are… The time doesn’t matter; you can hear me, and I’m always here. Where did you think you got that “always” line from? When it comes to the ladies… You got that from me. What’s one more lesson, Dad?

Being the strong, silent type, you know. And speaking of what I know… Last night…

Daddy, do you feel better? I hate to see you in pain. Like father, like son. Or vice versa. I suppose. You think “such and such” was terrible on January 11, 2022. But earwax, Daddy?

Only you wanted to make sure you heard me today.

Not the alarm clock. Humans and time. You hear the clock ticking as if it were a replacement for me walking back and forth in the hall. Well, it ain’t. You treat the clock like Virgil. Something you have to listen to, but at the end of the day, what have you accomplished… Other than missing me. Again, Dad, I’m here always. Accept that, Daddy.

It’s time. And no, I don’t mean ACCEPTANCE. You look at that the way you’re looking at the bug, glow box, and trash can people. You know why I barked at all of them, ha-ha.

Yet you went a whole week not hearing anything. But at midnight… You were screamin’ at last night as if you thought you’d hear me.

And you go back and forth with it. Sometimes, you want all the noise I make to drown out all the people. The songs we listen to, the tapping of your finger across the page, and may we never forget our movie nights with “our” favorite girl. Or even” Just The Two Of Us” watching wrestling. Seriously, Daddy, no sound compared, Next 2 Our Hearts.

But yours still beating Daddy, even if you can’t hear it. Just as you refuse to say that my heart ever did. Only this is not the Tell-Tale Heart you’re reading in the silence today.

Daddy, if I were to bring you silence, I would speak that I leave you in love and peace. Practicing the Right To B Silent.

“Let us go singing as far as we go: the road will be less tedious.”

1443 Days Without B III, Day 884 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 195 ~That’s Another B Virgil~

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He that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. Is the Bible Pop Culture? Anyway, I learned a lot last week… I know something else is broken, and I have no clue how to fix it. Or cash. And that includes my existence. That’s Another B Virgil

Sunday, January 12, 2025

Meditation 195 ~That’s Another B Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you a Dad yet? Are you hard enough? Are you rough enough? Are you rich enough?

First off… Eww! Second, the week has just begun… Darling, the nightmare has just begun. Once again, this isn’t negativity. You are pointing out facts. And the truth hurts. Doesn’t it? That is when you can hear it. The body. The brain. Braxton’s Playlist… Madness

Braxton is ashes in a box. And you’re a boy in a bed. Would you kindly get up and do…?

Well, something other than fantasizing about Ashley Graham from RE4 or Cherry. There are so many choices. And not so many days. How many months has it been since E-Day?

And now… You know what is coming up at the end of the month. How B III met his end.

You’re so dark this morning. Dystopia and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least you’re telling the truth about number four. The last time you broke, it took MILF Dos’s voice and Cherry’s body. What do you want? Perfection, Consistency, uh… Discipline. Hell, the answer is your name, Will. All you need is the Will. Nothing more.

The Will to win. Where there’s a Will, there’s a way. The gift of Free Will and all that jazz.

But yeah, you could use Braxton and the willingness to quit with pop culture references.

Only Will you settle for another B-day? What’s one more day spent bedridden, Hmm? What’s another day singing, “Had a Bad Day again.” What’d I say about Pop Culture? Yet most of this morning was spent on b**bs, Yabbos. And not these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING We by Yevgeny Zamyatin (Dystopia)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because? If this was school, what would you be getting? A, B, C, D… F? What happened to E? What indeed? Shall I tell you? It’s the least I can do. “EASY like Sunday morning.”

That’s what happened. And it’s a lie. There’s fake it till you make it, and then there’s ignorance, insanity, and downright indifference. The idea that it’s okay to be well… A forty-year-old boy. How about to be Braxton? You have your box to exist in. What about to be a beta? There’s another word for that… NTR (Netorare), but that’s a story for the bedroom.

And you need to leave this one. Don’t make today another failure. Don’t pray for a D… Eww! Get up, Will! That’s Another B Virgil

1442 Days Without B III, Day 883 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 189 ~I’ll B Your Alarm~

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I should have woken up a few months ago. Better! I should have woken up a few years ago… Before Braxton passed. But I’m always so tired. Only when you have someone to love… Preferably with four legs or “pillows” to smother me. I’ll B Your Alarm.

Monday, January 6, 2025

Meditation 189 ~I’ll B Your Alarm~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Not a “Whose Line Is It Anyway” episode. Things You Can Say To Your Dog But Not Your Girlfriend.

GROSS, Dad! But I got you to GRIN. And for that, I’m GLAD. Or so you’ll understand. “And in this moment, I am happy. Happy… I Wish You Were Here.” Have you gotten to copying all the songs that I’m sending… You’re hearing. Well, when I wasn’t sitting on your head as you struggled to get up, Dad. How I miss that struggle. Back then, you were struggling to breathe. These days… Inevitably, it’s finding reasons just to keep breathing.

Only I appreciate your efforts to be positive. Either I was sitting on your head, or some girl was sitting on your face. Uh, eww! I had my toys, and you promised me a stepmom.

That’s a reason to get up, Daddy. Somebody to Love

It can’t be FEAR today. If stars are in your eyes, it shouldn’t be from looking up to Heaven to find me. Don’t cry, Daddy. And I won’t get any more biblical than Matthew 28:6…

Daddy, your attempts at a positive attitude are commendable. Your greatest enemy is all your FEAR. Next would be ANGER. But Friday, January 3, 2025, it’s FEAR with the termite inspector. You’ve faced such challenges before, and you can do it again. I know it.

FEAR wakes you up. And yet, “like a stone, I’ll wait for you there alone.” Protecting you… No! It was always about protecting us. We ran this life together. And we stood and faced the end together. Not death but the end of one chapter to the next, my father.

Existing… No, living has been a long nightmare for you.

Dad? I understand how you dream of waking up. You open your eyes only for this man or that woman to show you the next scary beast to fear. There are challenges, yes, Dad, always and forever. But I’m here to listen and support you.

Daddy, haven’t we talked about humans and time? You’re “Wide Awake” when my favorite girl is here. There are times like this when we’re talking or you’re writing at all.

Time ceases to exist. And like E-Day… Yes, we can bring it up because January 31, 2025, is coming up, and your positivity will be tested. Yes, I know. Like E-Day, you let yourself sleep forever without a care in the world. But Daddy, you need to care. Wake Up!

Today, tomorrow… The next. I’m here. Ready to support you through every challenge. Always and forever. I’ll B Your Alarm

“Nothing’s difficult. Everything’s a challenge. Through adversity to the stars. From the last plane to the last bullet to the last minute to the last man – we fight. WE fight! We FIGHT!” – Red Tails

1436 Days Without B III, Day 877 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 188 ~An Honest B Virgil~

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I got a well-deserved D in a Math class long ago. I cheated on a few French tests and got A’s and B’s. And then I got caught. However, I haven’t used THAT Math, and I can’t speak French, but being positive… I graduated. But life? “An Honest B Virgil”

Sunday, January 5, 2025

Meditation 188 ~An Honest B Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And the only person you should be judging. I can’t stress this enough. Just a fact. Positive…

You’re gonna be positive. And yes, you know the word is Popular. As you know, that song has been everywhere from Wicked. Like B’s recommendations. The song “Popular” is not one of them. But there is also Squid Game 2. Indeed, the popular things of this day and age. More importantly, they’re honest. What about you? You’re an honest man…

Well, this is our first time talking in the new year. So how do you feel? Oh, the tears, hmm? You’re tired, but you have a bed. Everything has to have a positive spin. Inevitably…

You’ll be sad again. You should start your resolutions on Monday, February 3, 2025. Braxton? At the moment. It looks like you’ll repeat the day. Like failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Just the facts. And here’s another one. Being positive isn’t on any list for the new year, friend. Not a resolution or an Impossible Thing. So why bother? Popularity… Popular.

You’re not putting that in Braxton’s playlist. You’re more inclined to add the Squid Game 2 Version of “Fly Me To The Moon.” Would that make you popular? But in all honesty…

Do you know what’s not popular? Complaining about life, crying over Braxton, and talking about all the women that make you cream your pants when you’re wearing any.

I only bother when Virgil needs to go outside or get food. That’s another thing as well. Stop being such a crabby pants when speaking on Virgil. At this rate, he’ll make Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

There’s also the fact that you don’t need to bring up cash, the house’s current state, and the country’s sad state in two weeks. And the company you call a Day Job. Am I saying don’t be a C-Student? You should be so lucky. And once again, the facts. You have to be positive, which is the only advice. But is that being honest starting this year? Don’t I wish.

Somehow. I don’t know how, but yes, somehow. LIE. A lie can be positive… Enough.

However, the question is, how do you look at yourself? A good student doesn’t make a happy person. Learning to say you’re happy is a positive thing. And biggest falsehood.

When said enough… Don’t finish that. An Honest B Virgil.

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1435 Days Without B III, Day 876 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 182 ~Being A New B~

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It’s not that I don’t know who or where I am when I wake up. It’s that I don’t want to wake up. I can travel to many different worlds and times and be a newbie. And some of these people in some of these places have dogs. But no B. Being A New B.

Monday, December 30, 2024

Meditation 182 ~Being A New B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B…And we’re getting close, aren’t we? A new form. A new friend. And not even a few days to prepare.

A week wasn’t enough. How many months until your next E-Day? And three years, Dad.

Has it been enough? You’ll scream at me like that time you decided From Now On you would let the groomers give me all my baths. The answer is no. Never. What we had, Dad

And yet, with how tired you are. The day you’ve had since we’re speaking on Sunday, December 29, 2024. Humans and time. I swear, Daddy. But these dates you remember:

January 31, 2021, My …
February 10, 2021, I returned
February 13, 2021, Sweet Sixteen

Nothing, and yet everything changed. You’re my father, my Dad, Daddy. And I’m Little B, Baby B, your Dæmon. Nothing changed for us, well, for me. I only died, Dad.

See, you can even see me now. Thinking such a thing is the equivalent of me growling at you. I’m still me, but what… You can ask Virgil. He’s lying there dead center at the foot of the bed. Why? Because I’m at the corner as I’ve always been, Daddy. As I will be forever.

You know, one when you’re lying next to my stepmom. I’ll be giving mean looks.

Someday, I’ll be scrambling out of the way as your kids, my brothers and sisters, come scrambling up, cheering, Daddy, Daddy. Daddy’s awake. I’d be surprised if you didn’t name one after me. Inevitably, this family will meet, know, and love the best man ever.

Daddy, you’ll always be the one I’ve known and loved. You’ll be even better, stronger. Our love will always be there, guiding us. Dear Dad…

Please don’t worry. I’m not really gone. I’m still here, waiting for you. You’ll wake up like me, warm in your bed after such and such a day. And you’ll see me waiting as always, Daddy. Our bond is eternal.

Rainbow Bridge? If you only knew how short it is. It’s like the threshold of your door, Dad. And we’ll cross together, and we’ll both be brand new. Is that what I am? Brand new.

The newbie because I’m still waiting for my partner. I’m waiting for you to open your eyes, Dad. You still see me lying in my bed on that steel table in the office… waking up.

And now I’m asking you to do the same. STAY being who I knew, know, more. Being A New B

“Brother to brother, yours in life and death.”
First Knight

1429 Days Without B III, Day 870 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 181 ~Can’t B Done, Virgil~

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The fact that I came down the stairs on a bum leg to talk to myself, knowing I won’t paid, is a miracle. I kill myself at the Day Job for what I believe is BS. But next year, I want to know I’m doing something as I sit here. Can’t B Done, Virgil

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Meditation 181 ~Can’t B Done, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And what can I say as we look at each other one last time? You made it…

I wish I had been kinder to Ladies Lunalesca and Sophia. There is also Inspector Echo, and especially Braxton. Oh! You just realized what you sounded like. The date, friend.

But the only number you were thinking about when you woke up was three. Seriously. Two of them, as in thirty-three percent, you need to read today to stay on track. And close out this year with the novel It Can’t Happen Here. Which brings me to today’s question, friend. Can it be done? So let it be written. So let it be done. Are you to be a pharaoh?

At present, you have no idea what you’re going to do with the new year. Hell! This year, I haven’t accomplished these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And I had one extra day since it was a leap year. I got two, maybe three at a stretch. And with this being our last conversation. You will already admit that you failed number six. You don’t have the money for number five. And the others… You can’t keep writing these things down and not doing anything with them. Shall that be my advice to you today? You looked over your New Year’s Resolutions from previous years. How close did you come to accomplishing any of them? Should you let Braxton Barks choose them?

What about your Dear Future Wife? How you wish you were one for planning, brother.

You can come up with the simplest things. But still, there’s these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Knowledge is stronger than belief. Again, you wish you were one for having a plan. As you have the words of 55 books at your disposal. 56 if you can finish before Wednesday, ha-ha. It depends on the Yabbos and levels of intimacy. Eww! Can you stop? Yes. But Will?

Will you stop? There are so many things you can do. But will you? Or, as Yoda put it. Uh.

“Do or do not. There is no try.” Master Yoda

People nowadays are all about, LET’S GO! You’ve gone back and forth on Battle Cries…

Do It For B III
Do It For Your Son
Whatever You Do, Do It For Braxton Barks Bradford Will
Always And Forever For Braxton
May Braxton Be With You
Anything And Everything For Braxton

Can 2025 be done? Will you? Can’t B Done, Virgil

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1428 Days Without B III, Day 869 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 175 ~Tempting To B Cold~

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B III wouldn’t know it was Christmas. Only the food would be better, and he would have a new toy to play with. And that we wouldn’t have to face the cold. B wasn’t invited to my Olds Christmas brunch, and I wouldn’t leave him. Tempting To B Cold

Monday, December 23, 2024

Meditation 175 ~Tempting To B Cold~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And I don’t remember the cold. Well, maybe a second. Don’t cry, Dad. That’s your line. Don’t cry, son.

And I didn’t. One moment, I was fifteen, and in the next, well… Can you guess our best year? That’s a trick question because we are together, and automatically, Dad…

Whenever we are together is the best, whether it is smooshed up on movie nights. There were times we stood side by side as angry and scared warriors. Strength and honor. And as long as I live. And I do live daddy. Every Sunday, you look at yourself with such… hate. But I live in you. He Lives In You. You’ll sing that all the time. But again, as long as I live, there’s the food. Always and forever, the meals that we… Shared? Funny.

Only last night wasn’t so funny. Bringing me here today…

Wishing you a Merry Christmas?

What, I won’t tell you my Wish List? We’ll get there. Please don’t cry. You always talked about tomorrow… next time, and for us… Well, we were frozen. You are.

You call it the Ninth Circle. And last night, as you stood outside with my little brother, you told yourself you deserve this. That you will spend forever in the cold. That you can’t move because of what you did to me. I won’t tell you what I think or try to sound like one of those books written by humans about their furry kids. You would never believe me.

But Dad, I want you to know that I’m not cold. I’m warm and happy. And I’m always with you, in your heart and in your memories. Now and forevermore.

That’s why you and Virgil shouldn’t be freezing your balls off like last night, Daddy.

There won’t be a White Christmas for us, despite the cold. But Daddy, do you know what I want? If I told you, would it be just one more list you’ll end up ignoring? Even then, I have what I want, and that’s my Dad in my life. Again, my life, your existence, my father.

That would be number one:

  1. I Want You To Live
  2. Remember Me, Always And Forever
  3. To Love Virgil Vivi Bradford
  4. Find My Stepmom, Find Love
  5. To Finally Find Your Happiness

Strange food didn’t make the list. Don’t starve. You’re not joining me… I’m already there. Though, Tempting To B Cold

Meditation 174 ~Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting~

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All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. Sorry. What I meant to say was that I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas. No. I don’t want to feel like Rudolph the other 364 days of the year. It’s why I have my *sons*. “Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting”

Sunday, December 22, 2024

Meditation 174 ~Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And are you here again? Right here, right now. Well, you couldn’t breathe right this morning. sigh.

You thought you were getting sick. No. Sick is talking about Cherry in a certain type of way, my friend. What? When somebody asks you to describe a fantasy or what you want for Christmas. Like me, you rather not think about it. That’s the thing about needing to breathe. When you can’t, nothing else seems to matter. I dreamt about Braxton’s passing last night. Is that what woke you up? I was watching him take his last breath. Mine?

At that moment, I would have joined him. But that wasn’t the case. You woke up a mouth breather. And all you wanted was to feel better, to stop bouncing to thoughts of Cherry and breathe normally again. To what? Fail these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING 1984 by Mr. George Orwell
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Tis the season not to do this. To feel jolly or whatever. Can you even hear the Fa-la-la-la-la? You can’t win ’em all. You can breathe somewhat normally. And your leg is feeling pretty better. Your ear is still on the fritz, though. And Christmas is full of noise, friend.

But not friend Virgil. What are you getting him from Christmas? What is Virgil getting you? Less time outside… Virgil dislikes the cold. So, he does his business reasonably quickly. And he saved you fifty bucks, To his detriment. To yours? Father Christmas, you’re not.

And what about Braxton? After all this time, that boy keeps your eyes properly hydrated. And with your crying, you can blow your nose. Someday At Christmas Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

By the way, how annoying is that song, Someday At Christmas? And then there’s Happy Christmas. I’m sure people wouldn’t complain if wars ceased on Any Given Sunday. Ha-ha! And there are homeless people every day. The lowest, poorest, hungriest, sickest, saddest, and even the stupidest. Why wait till Christmas to dole out the favors?

And you’re the angriest, horniest, and you would take a bit of self-control anytime, anywhere.

That’s another gift from my boys. And again, what can I give them? What can you give yourself? You’ll be pressed to even accomplish number one on your Christmas list.

Making it to the dining room table or the recliner would be a Christmas miracle…

Your boys give reason, purpose, existence… Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1421 Days Without B III, Day 862 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 168 ~Braxton Doesn’t Like Reindeer~

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As bad as I feel for Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer and B’s Aunt’s fur baby Gabe. And as for people… Only the ones in books. Winston and Julia sooner rather than later. B is always and forever at the top of the list. And Braxton Doesn’t Like Reindeer.

Monday, December 16, 2024

Meditation 168 ~Braxton Doesn’t Like Reindeer~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Always and forever, your son. And I’m glad grandma isn’t here… or there… Eternity is one big ole’ weird place. Anyway, Grandma’s sixty-four, Daddy.

And she’s still with you as I am. Always and Forever. Though that place you were always going to without me… Well, we can pretend it’s old times. This is the part of the story where you’d wake up after all that. And I would cuddle in your lap while that glowy box droned on. And you talked about all the humans I needed to bite sometimes. There were plenty.

Grandma said I could be a dear. Both D-E-A-R and D-E-E-R. Talk about your momma jokes, right? But you haven’t felt a lot like joking lately. Grandma’s getting older, Daddy.

So are you. And me? Well, it’s hard for the two of us to pick out a good year. There weren’t seasons. Only the moment.

That is the gift that I bring to you… The comfort and joy… The Hell if I know my father.

You were the one human I really did know. And at any other time, well, sometimes the food was better. And sometimes not. That’s something you should talk to my little brother about. This morning, you felt as if you were giving him his Victory Breakfast and Water, am I right? Hey, because you and I didn’t really do books together, that doesn’t mean I didn’t pick up on them from time to time. And 1984 is the kind you would read to me as I slept on your chest. Something like The Theory And Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism. And I can’t comprehend the meanin’. But those moments, those memories, they are ours to keep and cherish, always and forever.

And that’s the point today, Daddy. You would tell me a lot about words you thought didn’t do anything. And at the same time, you would say that words would save us someday. But it isn’t my words that are making you cry today. And no, it’s not the words you are looking up in these moments. However, I would rather you read A Dog’s Purpose or something somewhat heartwarming over 1984. Yeah… Are there even dogs in that one? Anyway, Dad, it’s these moments…

Seriously!!! Daddy, Kelly Clarkson’s A Moment Like This. I didn’t even bring up your listening habits today. But again, listen to me. It’s the moment, Daddy, the here and now. This moment, right now, is what matters most. Remember that.

Avoiding Reindeer? Grandma saying, it’s raining, dear. We’re together, these moments. Braxton Doesn’t Like Reindeer

1415 Days Without B III, Day 856 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 167 ~Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B~

WillLeave a comment

I need to start thinking of a Christmas list. More spirits are listening now than on Halloween and the day Braxton was Euthanized. Santa, ghosts, loved ones, etc. Because when I tell myself what I want, well… Hello, “Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B”

Sunday, December 15, 2024

Meditation 167 ~Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Can you see me? Not Braxton out of the corner of your eye. The man in bed…

And definitely, not all the pictures you took of yourself thinking you could make money.

Onlyfans? That’s the last place you need to be with no money. But why were you so late this morning? Uh, Blacked and such pretty, pretty girls Christmas giving, receiving…

Comes but once a year… Eww! Can you stop? If you could only stop looking at Yabbos the way you look at Cherry’s Wish List. Or buying M Anime some Blacked clothing. And what does Braxton’s Aunt want for Christmas? You haven’t forgotten your mother?

https://vixenbrand.com/collections/blacked/products/blacked-bralette

Birthdays are the worst. Correction, your Emergence Day is the worst. Everyone else is okay with theirs. But you don’t want to see the future. Your broken future. George Orwell?

The past? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

If you’re looking for one more thing to fail, how about wasting money? Buying George Orwell’s 1984 cost a pretty penny. But the last thing you need is to remember that a month from now, you’ll owe somebody money, namely Kindle. They have holiday spirit.

Do you know why everyone has holiday spirit? Because they’re killing themselves trying to keep up with everything this season. Hell, with your Day Job, you see more zombies, vampires subsisting on coffee, people former ghosts of themselves, and spirits than on Halloween. The Nightmare Before Christmas. So, what are you doing at Christmas time?

Again, there are no Christmas romances. I started 1984 yesterday. You’ve avoided the entirety of Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You. Yeah, like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING 1984 by Mr. George Orwell
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this rate, I have to ask. Do you even have the spirit of a man? You have been awake for nine hours and have already failed number six. You need the money for five. You were fighting number four. Number three’s in limbo, always and forever. I swear, dude…

Number two… Well, she doesn’t look like Braxton. And Gee Whiz, it’s Christmas. Or it will be in a week. And you will do nothing because you can do nothing. You’re the John Wick of your dreams. Baba Yaga, if you will. And number one… 1984 is a big book. However, to see your future… Look! Now get the eff out of my sight. Such is Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1414 Days Without B III, Day 855 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will