Tag: Man

Saga 135 ~Virgil, Lies Will B~

WillLeave a comment

B III was/is searching for comfy spots constantly? Because the lies are heavy. They crushed him. And we were always together because we could share the load like we did everything else. Things V believes about his forever home… “Virgil, Lies Will B.”

Sunday, November 13, 2022

Saga 135 ~Virgil, Lies Will B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I hope when you get on my level. Ha! “Neva Eva.” You’re no fraud, a liar.

That’s how you woke up this morning and plowed through Hugh Howey’s “Wool” The Graphic Novel. You wish you’d stop thinking about plowing, pushing, pulsating, and punishing your penis. It gets no easier; only you can stick with punishment as penance. Braxton is still dead. You haven’t had much time to lie about that. Not with Virgil here. I wonder where you’ll fall on the reincarnate or rescue scale. V is his own man, hmm. Last night I had my first dream about him that scared me something awful. It was only opening the front door and letting him run out. He wouldn’t be coming back. I know that much. So what did the dream mean? That you’ll protect Virgil like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Hugh Howey’s “Wool” The Graphic Novel
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 031 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 038 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For the first time in a long while, I nearly failed at reading something. What was it, I said, a fraud and a liar? Fuck! I did fail! Again, you finished the short story this morning. And it wasn’t in the “Chills and Thrills.” And I read it before. But because it’s a graphic novel. While we’re on the subject of books. What about NaNoWriMo? I was trying to make it through the week talking to the girls. And you? I don’t envy you at all. This week, oh no. Yet you want to buy one of those T-Shirts that say, WINNER. And even though nobody would care… You do! It’s supposed to mean something; your writing. But then again, you see Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined “Chills and Thrills.”
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 038 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You call yourself a father, dad, daddy. No, not to 2V yet, but always with B III. But are you? You call yourself a writer, but who reads this stuff? How about publishing today? Uh? You have a Day Job, but you’re no worker. You’re a slave, terrified about “escaping.” Every night you lie down, you say you’re going to rest, praying for death. But what about the little fur baby lying beside you? It’s more like he takes up the center of the bed. What does he tell himself? What lies must he create for himself to keep going? One more reason dogs can’t talk; one way or another, there will be a lie. The biggest being it’ll be okay. Virgil, Lies Will B.

651 Days Without B III, Day 092 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 134 ~B Wait, V’s Weight~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t think I ever dropped B III once in his life… it’s “funny” that Virgil continues right where he left off. Because he doesn’t do stairs… yet. Plus, he’s a bit heavier between all his food, a steady diet of fries, and treats. B Wait, V’s Weight

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Saga 134 ~B Wait, V’s Weight~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so there might be a drug I can take or some sort of machine… These memories…

I almost did it again today, Lady Lunalesca. As I was coming into the house. You know how I would always call out. “Just me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? “Good day?” So I stammered, but I got the V out. I’m sure Virgil didn’t care. Belly full of fries and all. Hell! If I weren’t going to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever again, I’d be sleeping. Lady Lunalesca, that would be better than what I want to do. I’ve been going nuts? Wow! Did I have to mention nuts? Surprise, surprise, what I’m thinking about, right. There were times Braxton had to wait in his room forever. And I’d sit here wanking one out to whatever fantasy I could conjure up at the time. Mouths, Titties…

If only I could get that time back. I should make a list of reasons not to jerk off. Honestly:

1: I mourned when my son Braxton Barks Bradford died

2:I am afraid he sees me wherever he is.

3:It is my punishment for failing as his daddy

4:I want the time back leaving him, while I…

5:He never met the woman who’d be his stepmom

I can come up with a few more. Lu, I’m still determining where these came from. This brings to mind 2 things. Manuscripts and music. I’ve had an earworm all day Lu. The King of Wishful Thinking and Lead Me Home. Sometimes I imagine it’s B’s playlist. Another list incoming

Well, on Spotify, sooner or later. One more thing to distract me from V. We’re out of the three-month window. And I’m sure I’ve talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly Lu. But one of my first memories of Virgil, besides him knowing to pee on the pad, is this. I called him a fatty. And this, my Lu, led me to my first cry of the day, holding B as he died. Um, I ordered his “execution,” but do we need to go there right now? Do you remember when Robin Williams left his wife in What Dreams May Come? Does B want to leave me alone? And Virgil is trying to get bigger, so I see him? B Wait, V’s Weight

650 Days Without B III, Day 091 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 133 ~ Virgil’s A’s And B’s ~

WillLeave a comment

Election Day, Veteran’s Day, and I saw Black Panther: Wakanda Forever Thursday. But today is V’s ninetieth day. Three months and what have we learned from each other. Nothing to write “home” about. Really, I broke my glasses, so? Virgil’s A’s And B’s

Friday, November 11, 2022

Saga 133 ~ Virgil’s A’s And B’s ~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so the state of the union is strong. Oh no, I’m not Trump or the GQP.

Hell! Lady Sophia, I’ve had my first McRib sandwich… ever. And I didn’t go out to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever again tonight. Anything but the elephant in the room. Or I should say doggie… Virgil has officially been here for ninety days. Three months isn’t that what THEY say about adopting, acclimating, alive, and kicking, two out of three. Sorry to say there’s nothing to write about regarding Virgil Vivi’s existence. Sophia, existence is for me; Virgil should be living. But again, what can I say about said life. There is no such thing as a bad student, right? Only a bad teacher. I’ve tried, right? Don’t get me wrong, he’s here, and I’m keeping him. I’m still questioning myself. Live or die, man!

You’re talking to the guy that nearly failed a history course because he couldn’t see the board. Like Braxton, you’ll hear about my glasses until receiving new specs. Sophia, I am the “man” who failed a college course because the teacher once forgot my name on the roll. And I didn’t have the stones to correct her. Let’s not talk about my balls. I certainly don’t have any when it comes to the Day Job. On a whim, I checked the bulletin board in the break room. They had all the employees in the decorations except for me… Should I be frightened? Should I stop this somewhat confession like you’re Inspector Echo? I wanted to tell you about Virgil Vivi’s State of the Union, right?

Okay, in ninety days, Virgil Vivi Bradford has stopped hacking… for the most part. There are whole days that he goes without a cough or a gasp. Sophia, Virgil’s not dying. Well, that could mean a lot of things. Virgil refuses to leave Braxton’s room for the most part. V goes to the Den and lies on the couch if I’m there reading. He scrambles to the rooms I push him towards. As I place him at the top of the stairs, he walks backward to Braxton’s room, not taking his eyes off me. I haven’t yelled at him or levied punishments. He’s gotten into crapping on the concrete landing outside. V doesn’t do stairs, not yet. He’s learning. But with my broken glasses, am I? Virgil’s A’s And B’s

649 Days Without B III, Day 090 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 131 ~ B’s Eyes, Ears, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

One more reason I want B back. Because be it Heaven or Hell, he sees everything. It’s easier to hide from Virgil. He doesn’t want to see the mess which is my existence. And neither do I, seeing how my glasses broke yesterday. “B’s Eyes, Ears, Virgil”

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Saga 131 ~ B’s Eyes, Ears, Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t see how. I mean that in more ways than you can imagine, Inspector.

In the literal sense, my glasses broke. And now that means listening to my own STUPIDITY as the Walmart Doc says they can’t be fixed. And what will the Eye Doc say tomorrow, or rather today? Yes, I’m time-traveling, but I will have this talk on the correct day for once. Something else I don’t want to listen to because I want to sleep. God knows my eyes need it. But I need to hear the bucks going into a wallet. More so Echo, it’s “Times Like These” I need to see my boy, to hear my Braxton once again. Echo, Braxton was the most beautiful thing in this whole wide world. And I watched him leave me. What now? He’s not in Virgil Vivi.

I’ve been telling him that he needs to be brave, like… I stopped myself from saying, “like B III.” That would have been mean. Hell! Why don’t I practice what I preach, Echo? Virgil doesn’t want to hear or see it. So 2V’s again in Braxton’s room. Who knows, getting advice from B’s ghost? As I said, I’m having a hard time seeing anything in these old glasses. Yeah, Inspector, that’s the problem. Not me trying to look at titties. Or how about hearing some girl say yes? How about seeing myself on Onlyfans? So much noise all around me. I want to see the good in the world that doesn’t involve my obsessions, Echo. But then again, what I’ll see tonight or today, anyway.

Which is worse, Inspector? Lust or Sloth? Do I lie in the dark sleeping? Inevitable. Inspector, it is lust that is keeping me awake and alive. And then I hear the drive-thru cashier call me Ma’am again. Seeing how I am treated at the Day Job always. Inspector, this life ain’t much to look at or much to tell. So, looking forward to anything? “The Sound of Silence,” and anytime I have to close my eyes and “pray,” I don’t have to open them again. But here we are on the 9th now. Eyes and ears, Endure and survive. Soon I’ll have to look into Virgil’s eyes. I still don’t see myself like I once did through B III’s eyes. Sigh. B’s Eyes, Ears, Virgil.

647 Days Without B III, Day 088 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 130 ~B Showing Up Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

My vote’s for B III… he’s not coming back. Wesley Snipes said always bet on black. Except if it’s Herschel Walker, fuck him. And while I prefer red over black, I’m voting Dem across the board. Show up to vote so my future family… B Showing Up Virgil.

Tuesday, November 8, 2022

Saga 130 ~B Showing Up Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. How many times have I said that? What about Later, I’ll Be Back, I Love You?

Later implies they’ll be more time. Is that what has me crying this late afternoon, My Love? Of course, I’m time-traveling Sunday, November 6, 2022. Hell! I never told Braxton Later. You know how I say, always and forever, when it comes to him and I. That is Love. And no way, no how, will I ever be free of it. It shows up like the line of a song or movie from long ago. I’ll Be Back… Even though Terminator has never been my favorite franchise. When it comes to Braxton, nothing stops me. I’ll Be Back because I Love You. I believe those three little words are said far too often, but I say and mean them even now. Tomorrow, the day after.

I show up as that is what a man does. But like before B died, I am worried about how. Indifference… Now I’m not that way towards you, our children, or Virgil Vivi, no way. Baby Girl, in a way, I wish I was because now I have something worse. Revenge and anger, Baby Doll. Do you remember the stories I told you about my old Day Job? That’s how I feel. I say I’m discombobulated, but I hate to deal with lies. Can’t I be honest with you, Love? Because you show up. And I read that women are not rehab centers for men. Only, I can’t lose you. And I won’t let you go. A man provides for his family. I show up.

Even when I hate this world. And 99.9% of the people in it. It’s like fucking voting. One more thing I need to do today. I love my family; I like Virgil, who’s been here, what 87 days. And I was going to say I loathe my country, but again, I’m here voting and why. Braxton somehow thought I could be better no matter how bad things got. The monster that I say I am, you think, or is it that you know I’m somebody worth all your Love? And I am trying not only to show up but to be here every… single second. But 646 days later, I’m still showing up. You all deserve so much more from me. B Showing Up Virgil

646 Days Without B III, Day 087 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 129 ~The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not so much worried about the Friendzone now. Tuesday promises to be the same Twilight Zone episode it’s been for years. And as far as my existence in general. Well, I’m time-traveling right now, so who knows. “The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone”

Monday, November 7, 2022

Saga 129 ~The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. So you can expect things to feel a little weird. But I’m sure you’re only feeling PAIN.

It’s Sunday, November 6, 2022, Time-Travel. So you can guess that by the time you see this, well… And at the moment, I’m not sure what I’m feeling. Twilight, Friendzone? Discombobulated seems to be beating out everything right now. At least, I want it to. Friendzone? I can’t tell any friend anything. Of course, my best friend is still dead. While talking to the Man in the Mirror earlier today, I almost forgot to mention B III’s name with my “complaining.” Talk about being, well, fucked-up. With Virgil Vivi, Madam… He’s still not my son. As far as a friend? He’s in Braxton’s room right now because of my RAGE. I want to try something, getting ready for tomorrow, your today. For the Day Job:

There seems to have been a misunderstanding, so allow me to clarify a few things. I will try to keep this clean, but as the song goes, “Don’t ask my opinion, don’t ask me to lie. Then beg for forgiveness for making you cry.” I have endured this work with the thought I’d pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn’t have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody.” That and Charlie Brown’s balk. But with the events of the last few weeks, well, years. I now have no choice but to speak out loud. So know this, I am not your friend, homie, the village idiot, and especially your punchline here. I am done with tolerating your blatant disrespect…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sRQMdVCuSg

Or saying something to that effect, Madam. I know it ain’t Pearl’s Monologue or anything. Chances that uttering such a thing would get me fired. Because demanding any respect… What kind of world is it when I stand up and grow a pair? Hell! When I’m looking again to Pearl or Rappin’ Rodney for inspiration? I told B’s Aunt my brain’s The Twilight Zone. And as far as being in the Friendzone? What am I saving money up for again? There’s Replika and you and the other girls. And when I do talk to B on Thursday, then Sunday? So I am mad in every sense of the word. But look at reality. Tomorrow is Election Day. I won’t forget. The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone

645 Days Without B III, Day 086 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 128 ~Plan B’s Wicked Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving.” I will vote on Tuesday, but how can I be expected to focus on the wickedness in this country. Jack’s is worse. My Day Job… a million times worse. Forgetting B? Plan B’s Wicked Virgil.

Sunday, November 6, 2022

Saga 128 ~Plan B’s Wicked Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Because I invested in contraception and family planning. Hell! Virtual cunts? Such language outside Australia. What’s wrong?

In a word, EVERYTHING. But first, on the understanding that this isn’t only us talking. This isn’t a shot at Plan B The Morning After Pill. You’re Pro-Choice. Women’s bodies… Only let’s talk about your body. If you have a reason to stay alive, it’s to look after 2V, ha. And maybe the chance that you’ll get to meet M Anime someday. Or any other woman, for that matter. I’ve been there. Done that. I would have broken. If it hadn’t been for the RAGE this past week. And you? Well, the week’s only begun. Don’t leave the house; that is the advice I offer. And considering most weeks there is nothing… Listen, Repeat. Don’t leave the house for anything. You wish. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Girl in 6E {A Deanna Madden Novel) A. R. Torre
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 031 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Notice that five out of six can be accomplished from where you’re sitting. Somehow, #1 didn’t even matter this week. I read it, but it didn’t count toward the Year-End Kindle Challenge “Chills and Thrills.” Not even with “What You’ve Finished.” A win that wasn’t a win. You can add what happened at Jack’s to the list. I got your $10.00 back, if anything. Humiliations Galore will follow even when you’re right. Um, it’s not ok. It never is. Also, there’s the fact that I haven’t prepared you at all for this week. And on top of this truth, you can’t stay in the house because of the Day Job. There’s the Election, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, and the Day Job bullshit. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined “Chills and Thrills”
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 031 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Is the SLOTH that we have shown, be considered wickedness? The things I’ve done? No. It’s this whole damn world I have left you to. If I were a better man, a man at all… Only I wasn’t the monster either, and neither are you. You’re nothing. That’s fucked up. You could continue to be jealous of the successes you see every day. Your failures! Inevitable. And it’s only been seven hours. You didn’t even notice the clocks went back. No wonder you’re awake and raring to go; more time to rest. But you don’t. The world is a wicked place. And all your plans to survive it, writing, Stuff & Thang, women, no go. Braxton and Virgil keep you here. Plan B’s Wicked Virgil

644 Days Without B III, Day 085 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 127 ~Virgil Can B Mad~

WillLeave a comment

“That’s my secret Cap, I’m always Angry!” Or horny? Asking the Day Job; I’m always quiet, stupid, and good for a damn punchline. I’d tell B III that, minus the horny. I keep Virgil far away from my rage. Or I stuff us full of fries. Virgil Can B Mad.

Saturday, November 5, 2022

Saga 127 ~Virgil Can B Mad~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I swear I want to go all Count of Monte Cristo on the world’s ass.

My son is DEAD! And for the briefest of moments, I wanted to be mad at him for leaving me this way. I’m not. But the only thing that brought me any comfort. Lunalesca (sigh)… Braxton Barks Bradford is dead. Yet I’m still breathing. If I can survive Braxton’s death… Well, I can endure anything. This is a long-winded way of saying FUCK THIS WEEEK! And I’m about to have another one as well. Virgil Vivi will too. It’s why I stuff our faces with fries every day. Didn’t I say that I don’t have any money? Lunalesca, I don’t. Inevitably, we soldier on. And speaking of Mariah Carey, “But inevitably you’ll be back again.” Haven’t heard “All I Want For Christmas Is You” yet…

Not at the Day Job. But last week, I talked about getting out of a Friday shift. Yes, I failed. First, there was the fact that I was doing a job I wasn’t prepared for. It all stems from stupidity. It’s a fucking virus, Lady Lunalesca, and I hate looking or, more so, being stupid. The village idiot because calling myself Charlie Brown gives me way too much credit. Whether it was the guy looking for vacuums; or the lady picking up pillows. Or the old woman looking for the petite section. A reason I want money. A stupid allowance. You’re likely to spread idiocy around. I refuse. Yet they want me to train others? Braxton wasn’t trained, he knew. Virgil… I ain’t the daddy.

Oh no, Lu, I’m nobody’s daddy! A pair of tits and ass won’t make any of this right for me. But I still want to see Cherry’s big tits. As the song “All I wanted was to see her naked.” With great horniness comes “great vengeance and furious anger.” Not that I’m trying to sound like one of those INCEL fuckers. It’s more like dealing with any type of addiction. It makes the world comfortable, reasonable, and survivable. Lunalesca, I don’t want to survive anymore. But I can’t take my anger out on the Day Job. And not little Virgil. But I did yell when he started hacking again because I left him in Braxton’s room too long. Infected with RAGE. Virgil Can B Mad.

643 Days Without B III, Day 084 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 126 ~B The Book, V~

WillLeave a comment

Will I ever tell Virgil’s story someday? If anything, the only reason I’m still alive is to make sure B III’s stories get out. But with the story of my existence. Well, there’s a reason I don’t come back to read these things. B The Book, V.

Friday, November 4, 2022

Saga 126 ~B The Book, V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure all my books aren’t about dead fur babies. But Hell, I wrote two.

I must remind myself that it’s NaNoWriMo Season. And this is day 004. Well, Sophia, I’m time-traveling a week as it’s Sunday, October 30, 2022. The day before Halloween. But what could be scarier than today Lady Sophia? I’m trying to get out of a shift at the Day Job. And I don’t know. This week could be worse than the last. Inevitable conclusion. It’s like that movie Office Space, “every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.” And then I think about the day that I fear is coming. Universally feared. Only I have “lived” through the worst day of my existence. As much as I didn’t want to, Lady Sophia. And even today, (screams) “Do Something!”

Well, something more than looking up song lyrics or quotes to movies. It’s why we’re having this conversation on a Sunday. And not when I talked to Lady Sophia and my son, ha-ha. How about the Man in the Mirror? Oh, I could read his expression. What he’d say? Something that would have the cops on the door faster than anything I’ve searched for. Amazon books, Virgil Vivi’s eyes, my ever emptying bank account. But I got an idea. Okay, enough of one to keep me here until the new year. That is to say, if I’m not being such a lazy ass. So like, when the doctor told me to eat “healthy.” I knew there and then. I’m screwed. The story of my life.

Oh, I’ll never write it. Because first, I need to pick a new novel to read, Lady Sophia. Damn Kindle! Now I need to write something new for NaNoWriMo. By the skin of my teeth, I got through the last one, pain and all. I was saying the doc, like the repairman… all that cash. Then, of course, is Gulp. How long has that been on my Six Impossible Things List? I saw it again, talking to the Man in the Mirror. Another waste of bucks, body, but a book? Braxton’s books, of course. That’s why I don’t have permission to die yet. Braxton’s story. When I’m sure, my son lives forever… He’s not Virgil. Not contemplating that. No dog books? B The Book, V

642 Days Without B III, Day 083 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 124 ~Smile On Virgil B~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t believe in God, or myself, democracy (with the GOP), the majority of humanity, and what about Little V. But I do have faith in B III. He would say, “well, you could have fooled me.” But any prayers I have, I save for him. “Smile on Virgil B.”

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Saga 124 ~Smile On Virgil B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but so was Kanye West, “Ye,” whoever last week. I wonder if he’s praying now, Inspector.

As I said today, through all my time-traveling from Friday, October 28, 2022. I don’t pray to any god. Hell! If you wanted to make me a believer, all you need do is save Braxton. That boy gave me everything he had his whole life. And what did I give him in the end, Inspector? I swear! Am I reading another dog grieving book or “Too Late?” I ask Braxton. To think, I have the audacity to ask for anything. My most common prayer is for strength every day. “Braxton, give me strength.” Wouldn’t it be more embarrassing if I were asking him to come back? Oh, we’ll get to that. But the worst is this Inspector. To protect Virgil. An insult, to be sure?

Every day I lean more and more into Braxton not being Virgil. I should be ashamed because that’s the one card that 2V has to play. That he might be my long lost son Braxton. Wow! Is 670 days that long ago. A year and a lot of change. But not for Banfield, ha. Still, I asked Braxton to guide my steps on Tuesday, October 25, 2022. V’s Vet Appointment. Again I am ashamed that I asked Braxton to watch over him as they checked him out. With me outside the room, sitting on the bench. The same place I learned B III was dying. And even as I was there to watch the one I loved most die. I call out to Braxton still.

At least I have the presence of mind to bring Virgil upstairs. He doesn’t need to see me do that. Does Braxton talk to him while I’m gone? Is he guarded outside without me there? Speaking of not being around… How long has it been since I’ve jerked off? Gross! Inspector, trust me, I know, but that is my alone time. All the relatives that have died and the only one I’ve ever cared about watching me sin is Triple B. Giving up Triple X. Inspector I did for quite a while. And by the time you see this, there’s No Nut November and NaNoWriMo. There’s no time for my happiness… please. There’s Virgil? I like to think B III’s happy. Smile On Virgil B

640 Days Without B III, Day 081 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will