Monday, January 5, 2026

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t you recognize me? My brown, beige, but you tell the Glow Boxes tan sometimes—the color of Braxton.

And when did I start speaking in third person? The moment when I saw black, faded to it, became molded by it. No, I’m not talking about you, Dad. And I didn’t mean to sound like Bane either. And haven’t I always seen black, white, and gray? But this black…

Honestly, don’t go crying on me, Daddy. You can’t help it? You were even listening to sad songs at “The Bad Place.” Was it me, you, or that lady you call M Anime? Anyway Daddy.

You’ve been thinking about her a lot. Mostly red, yellow, and green. And Meatloaf Dad. You didn’t like the food. But the music. And I enjoyed both. But the color black, Daddy. It is your favorite, and I saw it…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I mean, I REALLY saw it before my world burst into color. Maybe it is me, since you’re still crying imagining the Rainbow Bridge. Or is it the Rainbow Road from Mario Kart, my father? I remember sitting on your lap as you played. It was better than car rides.

Seriously, though, those weren’t the red, yellow, and green lights you’ve been thinking about when it comes to M Anime… Eww! But if she could make you… No, not Happy.

Believe it or not, I was Happy in my life. “Believe It or Not,” I’m walking on air. I know. Dad, I am my father’s son when it comes to music. But today I know you hear me, but I need you to see, Daddy.

Like the dream you had a few nights ago. “Dark Angel?” That show was WAY before my time. Only you dreamt you were trapped somewhere, drowning, and through the barred window, you saw the Transgenics Flag flying—the black, red, and white with a dove at the center from the show. And you’re trying to SEE what it meant. Darkness, Rage, and Light. Or Rest, Love, and Ladies… Um eww! You know me, Dad, the best breast, legs, and thighs come in a bucket/box of chicken. Or maybe it’s running from the blackness, “The Running Man,” and don’t humans wear white for weddings… You’re permitting me to bark at ONE of your former girlfriends. Huh! If she could see… If you… Color Me Braxton, Virgil.

“I want to know what life was like once.”
― Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“Here are tears for things, and mortal sorrows touch the mind.”
― The Aeneid

1800 Days Without B III, Day 1241 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, December 29, 2025

Journey 181 ~Y Braxton, Why Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And the question isn’t why am I here. But why are you here, my father? Head full of questions.

Why are you still on “The Long Walk”? Why are you still “The Running Man”? But to be honest, I’m starting to feel a bit like Ee’char to your Chief O’Brien… DS9, Episode 4×19 “Hard Time.” What? I am my father’s son. Humans are weird. But still, you’re my Dad.

Always and forever, that’s why. You can remember Star Trek episodes. You can remember the year, the week, and the day that I… Had a change of venue. Plus, you’re not a movie director… Yet. Whatever happened to “28 Months Later”? Anyway, speaking of directing, that’s what you were thinking about all day at “The Bad Place.” You haven’t even had our customary nap. But you did take Virgil for his walk. To be young…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Which I am, by the way. Or am I older? Anything where I’m not… Not there with you, my father, at “The Closing of the Year.” And you wonder why you stay every single day.

Besides my sleepy little brother, that is. You have to see your dreams… our dreams come true. On that list you found on Saturday, I was number four. And everything else was to build a home for us, a world, and an entire universe. And that I found was being at your side every day. But what about Virgil? He’s been with you, going on four long years. And you and he continue to ask why. Who, what, when, where, and how, too. But why?

Love, loneliness, the last, lately

The belief that “maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me.” Are you talking to M Anime, Virgil, or even me? Why not you, Dad? That’s what scares you. Well, one of the many things that scares you. The belief that you couldn’t save me. That you made a big, beautiful mistake when you rescued Virgil. Isn’t it ironic? You left me in the back on Sunday, January 31, 2021, and on Saturday, August 13, 2022, you were springing Virgil from his cage. You’re thinking that this fear of asking yourself why you are still here is why M Anime no longer is. She left. Why? You stay. Why? Virgil? Why? I won’t say this year. But why not answer? Y Braxton, Why Virgil

“I don’t want Braxton to think he wasn’t worth staying for.”
― Naughty Saint Nick: A Spicy Holiday
Lexi Davis

“Fly, son of a goddess, and tear yourself away from these flames.”
― The Aeneid

1793 Days Without B III, Day 1234 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, December 22, 2025

Journey 174 ~Red By Braxton, Virgil~
Monday, December 15, 2025 4:55
Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… What you don’t know is what this day will bring, other than we’re talking today, because you have to go to “The Bad Place.” As you know, the quote from one of those books you would read to me, 1984: “You will work for a while, you will be caught, you will confess, and then you will die.” Granddaddy wanted you to read it. You did long ago, long ago.

Long ago, like the end of last year, to Virgil? And it’s why you started calling M Anime the Julia to your Winston. If you could only see your face this second, my father. I’d say you were turning red… You know, if it wasn’t for doggy colorblindness and all.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Sunday, December 21, 2025 4:49
Honestly, it was eye-opening for me when I… What’s left? No, Dad. Look at it, as I went to eat my treat in the next room. Or I had you freaking out when you thought you left me outside. Or more like I went to sit with my Favorite Girl, when you were sitting right beside her. Now I’m still here, sitting beside Virgil, snoozing in the sun, seething elsewhere because I don’t want to hurt you. Do you recall how you checked rage, Dad?

You wanted to protect me. And I don’t know how to protect you from this… I think the word I’m looking for is STAY. I was the excuse for avoiding the Olds’ Humiliation and Anger.

But this week, today is a Red Flag, Red Alert, one more Red Mark on your existence, even as we sit here talking, Daddy. “Red, gold, and green,” you would sing to me. That isn’t any Christmas tunage. I’m no Karma Chameleon but more of a Kiss From A Rose….

Seriously, now you’re thinking of Cherry in her sexy Red… You’re not sending me away.

Daddy, eww! Though it’s been more M Anime talk these days. You say you’re way “Too Good at Goodbyes.” Just like I was telling you, “you think I’m weak, I think you’re wrong,” years ago. I think we both need to STOP living our lives the way that we do. Daddy, more red. Not for Christmas. Red By Braxton, Virgil.

“But it’s hard to move forward, he thought to himself, when surrounded by memories of everything you’re trying to forget.”
― His Christmas Miracle Harem

Cunctantem flectere sermo coeperat. “His words had begun to sway him as he hesitated.”
Aeneid

1786 Days Without B III, Day 1227 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, December 15, 2025

Journey 167 ~Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… But are you, You? No, shut it, B? Or shut your pie hole. Shut your piss. “Leave Me Alone?”

Not even a Michael Jackson classic is going to help today. And Virgil? My little brother is asleep in his bed. Plus, what would he say? What can I say? That’s the point, isn’t it?

Daddy, imagine you have come back from “The Bad Place.” I’m an old man, so we didn’t go out for a walk, but we shared a burger and fries. Then you crawl into bed, and I take my place at the foot of it on the corner to watch the door. Hours later, “I’m Still Here.” This is far from a “Treasure Planet,” but I am my father’s son. The furry man that you raised.

So breathe, father. You’re not STUPID. What happened on Sunday that still has you sad?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

No excuses, “Forty-One” (cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Okay, so yesterday Virgil “chose” to puke in his potty spot rather than the carpet… Way to go, little bro. Anyway, to make sure he didn’t eat it, eww! You started cleaning the spot. Humans and glow boxes.

Meanwhile, on the little glow box you’re always holding, you were playing “Whiteout Survival.” You were intense, Daddy. But you made a mistake and got a lot of messages from “The Yayhoos” you were playing with. “Baby, I Love You,” just leave me the eff alone? That’s what you would say to M Anime if she were there because you’re humiliated. Well, the rest of the night you’ve been losing things on that little glow box game, and you’ve been sad and scared ever since.

Simply put, you were too busy helping your son to read their instructions, so spamming?

So on one paw, my pa, you don’t want to make a move without someone SPECIFICALLY giving you the instructions. Like “Auidoslave” saying, singing, showing what it means to ask others, “Show Me How to Live,” this existence. On the other paw. You enter “The Long Walk”; you become “The Running Man” because you know what to do, my father.

SURVIVE. And on those two paws, Virgil and I. Daddy, you’ll walk, run, fly after.

Honestly, though, if a game makes you feel like this… Like Carrie, “They’re All Gonna Laugh At You… You might not see anyone this week, but people, Virgil, even yourself.

SILENCE, Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet.

“So, I just said fuck it all and gave up on life,”
Snowed in with Grumpy (Silver Mountain), Olivia Noble

Omnia tuta silent. “All things are safely silent.”
― Aeneid

1779 Days Without B III, Day 1220 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, December 8, 2025

Journey 160 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Ticket~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And maybe you are finally beginning to believe, as you’re here early. Not because of Amazon… The Bad Place?

Sunday, December 7, 2025, 4:53 PM
I know that was a bad joke… Maybe we need a new rule. Why, when the old one works fine? You sleep after a bad day, and I’ll guard the door. Such was our law prince to a king.

And then, well, it was my time. It was just my time. And, “What have I become? My sweetest friend.” It wasn’t Johnny Cash. And it wasn’t a God either. Strange, isn’t it, my father? Neither one of us would say “He IS NOT A GOD! But this isn’t “10,000 BC,” But that could be a step with how you’re living, how we live. Dad, I’m still “Alive,” you know?

Like Meatloaf playing on the radio; speaking of which, Dinner?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Monday, December 8, 2025, 4:03
I wouldn’t have voted on this, Dad. You always. But pasta? At least it’s not the kind that you could sneak my medicine into. So you’re not trying to trick my little brother. And Virgil is the one you chose, just like me. And that brings us to what “We’re just livin’ for today. And if it’s not AC/DC, what about The Notebook “What do you want?” Well, besides me. I’m not on the ballot. But even my dead furry ass is better than Trump.

Language, I know, Dad, watch my barks. But FDT! And you? Dad, I didn’t have much say in our movie nights, aside from food distribution. My Favorite Girl wouldn’t have minded The Notebook. M Anime?

You’ve been thinking about her a lot lately. Again, you don’t want to hear my thoughts on the subject. And I love my favorite girl like pancakes. You’d say that to me all the time, Dad, “I love you like pancakes.” But I don’t need to know about the “dirty things” you and she would watch on the “Glow Box,” when you would tell me to get out. Oh no!

Daddy, you want to know where my vote goes, along with Virgil’s. It’s for you always and forever. President, King, God, you humans have such titles. But my father, Daddy.

Vote on yourself. Four more years? Thursday? As Pete tells Ray, “Think about making it to the next moment. My vote. Braxton And Virgil’s Ticket.

“If we start tomorrow, right now, with everything we’ve beaten, everything we’ve endured, everything we’ve risen above, everything we’ve become. If we start tomorrow, right now, no matter what comes next, we’ve won. We’ve already won!”
Rick Grimes ― TWD

“On them I set no limits, space or time: / I have granted them dominion, and it has no end.”
Book 1 ― The Aeneid

1772 Days Without B III, Day 1213 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son