Tag: Noise

Tale 001 ~BIII Of Time, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Day one, 365 Tales to Tell. If I don’t end up angry and kill somebody. And arrested for… I could always fall asleep in a heartbeat. Much like my son did. The time we had together and Virgil’s been here how long. I’m still older. BIII Of Time, Virgil.

Sunday, July 2, 2023

Tale 001 ~BIII Of Time, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But how long will it take you? Here we are —the first day of a new year.

Care? Well, I didn’t think so. But to be fair, this is on both of us, considering what time you went to bed. It was early in the morning, sometime around 1:00. What gives? Effing? Don’t you wish? If only I could have been doing something productive. If not… Crying? Hell! You’ll become a billionaire around the same time you forget about your lost boy. To forget about Braxton… “And after I pull off that miracle, maybe I’ll go punch out God.” That’s from Sin City, in case you were wondering. Yeah, looking up the words to some movie led to… Well, maybe we should stick to the subject of time. The first day of “Tales,” and how many for, you know, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Looking for Alaska by John Green
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And speaking of tales… More like the two novels about your boy. There’s the feeling that someone is watching you. Hell! You just woke up. How many crimes could you have possibly committed? Only I’m not talking about the ones in naughty stories you write. Yeah, you remember. Today is the second day of Camp NaNoWriMo, and you haven’t thought of explaining “your” world. There’s also editing. Or look at it this way. You could eat your words if you got published sometime this week. You’ll eat your words anyway. Yesterday was my last day to eat well. You’ll have quite the time this week worrying about money. I spent everything yesterday and all for you. Do I love you? Yeah, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Deciding…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re always around, and I hate your guts. But we’ll still be Freakin’ Friends. Right? Imagine a day when everything on this list gets done, and then what. “Well, that’s the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream….” You’ll finish this list when you’re done being a pop culture whore. I mean, when you just quoted Tangled. I mean, damn. Or should you say damned? When will you take it upon yourself to get out of this existence? The food poisoning a couple of weeks back. Killing you. Time’s destruction. But again, here you are, wasting it. You want to have sex, sleep, or something to eat. And then what. Only a billion simoleons and then BIII Of Time, Virgil

882 Days Without B III, Day 323 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 363 ~Virgil, We’ll B Free~

WillLeave a comment

If I wanted freedom, I’d have followed my son. I wish there had been a button… Something like Sonia Levitin’s “The Cure.” To be recycled with my twin, brother, best friend, and kid. When he was free, I asked what have I become? “Virgil, We’ll B Free”

Thursday, June 29, 2023

Saga 363 ~Virgil, We’ll B Free~

879 Days Without B III, Day 320 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know me. “It’s “Times Like These,” I want to wrap around you and sleep.

Fucking Hell! Pardon my language, Little B. It’s… well, I won’t say funny or fine. Nowhere near. So yeah FUCK is the correct word. It’s fucked up that I held you that Wednesday afternoon and fell asleep. Then on Sunday, January 31, 2021, I held you as you died. People would say you were euthanized. Put to sleep. I, with veterinarians, set you free. Talk about something I’m never going to let go. The moment I freed myself from the bed is the moment I… Again Baby B, I don’t know what to say. You’re not a burden, ever. Braxton, it’s like the holy rollers say, you know. Pick up your cross and follow Jesus. “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” You’re way better.

Only that doesn’t stop me now. Does it? You know what I mean. When you were locked in your room because you did wrong. Or when I was in the shower in the morning. Getting it all out of my system is better because that’s the only alone time I would get. Right? After the Day Job, I’d be way too tired. And you’d get pissed if I showered at night B III. Hell! I was going to the movies, and sometimes I would even bring your Aunt. Speaking of which, you should go check on her and bring her lost fur babies. If you’ve met…, she’s having a hard time. It’s freedom she doesn’t want to have. Free of love… That can’t be, B.

This brings me back to you. I can be free of my grief and still love you… It’s like I’m Brooks Hatlen. I’m free, but I don’t know how to start over. Will was here, then what? Fucking porn addict! Like I wasn’t before? But with Virgil afraid to leave your room. And didn’t I mention how long I stay in bed? Even now, time travel. Monday, June 26, 2023. Little B, the fucking Day Job, man! That’s something I’ll never be free of; I’m afraid to say B. Institutionalized. A strange way to say employed. Euthanized? Spell “Freed” Braxton. Wasn’t writing going to do that? How about finding Virgil? Big ole’ titties? I’m hopeless! My freedom was keeping you. Now? Virgil, We’ll B Free

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 359 ~B That Motivation Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“1st of The Month… well no. I can read. But no matter how much I read, I’m not getting any smarter. Or more loving. Uh, I forgot Virgil’s name again. And without Braxton. And as I try to avoid boobs. What’s my motivation? B That Motivation Virgil

Sunday, June 25, 2023

Saga 359 ~B That Motivation Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I don’t ask Virgil for anything. Hell! You owe him a bath, clean sheets, new stuff…

For starters? It would help if you focused on getting Virgil Vivi’s name right. (Sigh), only yesterday, I went out for what; twenty minutes? And I came back talking, “Just me, Baby B!” So, um, yeah, that was on me. But you? Once more, you’ve had a morning in tears. They were all for Braxton. And isn’t that what today is about? Hmm. The idea of you waking up with meaning. To live for but a moment. How about with any motivation at all? What is your purpose to exist? Well, other than the hope that you won’t have to. You’re still breathing; here. Damn. Even when you’re up at a decent hour… 6:00 when it should have been 4:00. But it should have been me doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Good Grief: On Loving… E.B. Bartels
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Braxton should be alive. Here you are, 875 days without him. That one thought above all others. Nobody understands. To be his old man, his father, his daddy. Stay Alive. What is this, The Hunger Games? If you didn’t start the day crying over your dead fur baby, it’s hunger. Hell! Not even that. It’s cash. Not on your belly or the boy. Um, boobs? That’s what disgusts me and you. Oh no! Let it be no misunderstanding. You love boobs, tits, fun bags, dirty pillows, jugs, and “Big Uns.” And you usually don’t consider yourself an ass man. There’s been that one brunette with what Andrew Davidson would call a “lemming ass.” If only you would follow knowledge like that. Or Six Impossible Things:

“She had what I’d call a lemming ass – that is, an ass that you would follow right over the edge of the cliff.” ― from Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Looking for Alaska by John Green
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because despite how many books you read. Twenty-five if you finish out the week. Are you getting any wiser? You wish you could be to the likes of Michael Seebach, better known as Schwarzwald. To see the truth of things, to know. Exist, Live! Today? As you do in your writing? Not this. These conversations are trash. No question. And yet you’ll have many more because you checked your Day Job schedule. You were only making room for more titty pictures. As Trump would say, “Sad.” GOP ideas? You see, the world is going to Hell every day. But you are not motivated to save it. If only you had the life of these reactors, influencers, a billionaire. Or Braxton back. B That Motivation Virgil

875 Days Without B III, Day 316 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 356 ~What’s Past B, 2V~

WillLeave a comment

“All These Things That I’ve Done?” Six Impossible Things? Name them, Willy. I wonder how I put one foot in front of the other past Sunday, January 6, 2021. I “saved” V. If only he could talk. And Braxton? What would he answer? What’s Past B, 2V?

Thursday, June 22, 2023

Saga 356 ~What’s Past B, 2V~

872 Days Without B III, Day 313 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how we’re talking today. Wednesday, June 21, 2023, and not tomorrow. The shame…

For what I did to you, B III. Or is it for that Sesame Street title? Uh, with everything I have been writing these days… It’s always the fact that I miss you. And no B III, I won’t go all; “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” What about the “every day was a wonderful gift from God speech?” But yes, today is brought to you by the letter B. As in “my boy.” Oh, and here’s one more pop culture idea. “I’m damn proud you’re my boy.” I’ve woken up for 872 days. And I can’t name any other accomplishment. But to be your daddy? What else is there? A million bucks! Or a billion? And to share it with you, Braxton?

Like your aunt’s boobs; come on now, Braxton, we both know we were going there. Hell! You were buried in her boobs whenever Carolina came over —or stared up at them. Or you were asleep in her lap, dreaming about said boobs. And why did it take me so long to get out of bed after our afternoon nap? Yeah, I was being a meanie as I saved you space. Virgil had to sleep at the foot of the bed as I thought you’d jump into bed. I always hope. I hope I don’t fantasize about that brunette in the white dress during meditation. Then there’s spending money on new boobs. Her eyes are up here. My wallet is down there. I’m a bad man.

But what comes after being bad? I’m sorry to say but indifference. B III, for a long time, that’s all I had left with this existence. I could never hate you but with everyone else? Know that you were my good in the world. And I should have appreciated you more while you were still here. Virgil is trying his best. Sometimes I find him on the stairs waiting for me, only like today. If it meant anything, I brought a pillow downstairs to the dining room table where we’re talking. So, what will I do afterward, B? Wednesday? The day, not the girl. I need a new book that’s not about dead fur babies. Can’t write A, B, C’s to save my life but reading… What’s Past B, 2V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 352 ~Father, I B, V~

WillLeave a comment

What do I want this Father’s Day? I’m not a dad? I ain’t got a wife. Braxton’s been gone for 868 days. And am I counting 2V? Not like he could get me a new computer. And as far as my Old Man. I’m not looking forward to texting. “Father, I B, V.”

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Saga 352 ~Father, I B, V~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But does that beat getting a good night’s sleep? Being a good man. A father. Like Hell!

The highlight of this week so far… well, was just before midnight. So this is all on me, I guess. Literally! I was beating off to pics of a brunette’s ass. It was her flowy white dress getting me going. “Mawage.” Doesn’t that come before everything else? You didn’t say that, did you? Speaking of things you don’t want to say today. Happy Father’s Day! Your son is dead. Are you coming? Not now? In the last twenty-two minutes… You’ve been staring at that brunette’s ass again and looking up Lulu Chu Case No. 7906243 – What’s Under The Jacket? And Mishell Lee from LOAN4K. If you looked up gifts the way you do porn. Your father should get a present considering the son you are. Right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dogging Slut (BDSM Erotica) Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Again speaking of Impossible Things… Give Braxton his life back. Or make one for Virgil. I swear you have “foot in mouth” disease today. And you need a foot in your ass, to be honest. How many steps did you walk from the bed to the bathroom and back today? You weren’t sick. It was where I set the alarm. I thought it might; I don’t know. DO SOMETHING! Who are you, “John Q?” You’re Will B. Not that it means a damn thing, hmm? You can’t even call yourself a man. And no, that’s not you being all political or some gender mess. Titties! What did Clopin sing, “What makes a monster and what makes a man?” Well, answer. Even when Braxton was here, you had, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Good Grief: On Loving… E.B. Bartels
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you know something. I believe I was better. Is that a confession, consolation, or plain confusion about what it means to be? What about what you mean to B? You are his dad. And again, there is always Virgil Vivi. More like 309 days and counting, you believe. Please, not to be all Alanis Morissette but “You, you, you oughta know.” Because that is what a man does. A father, a daddy. And today is your day. Is it not? But to celebrate? Trust me… which is what all politicians say, sigh. You are in no mood. Virgil is here. And Braxton, in spirit. Suppose you aren’t too busy trying to make Virgil him. Do I believe in you? “SIGH.” Father, I B, V

868 Days Without B III, Day 309 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 349 ~To B Forever Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Forever… Well, 865 days and counting. I should feel grateful for days like this, though. The worse I feel, maybe, just maybe, I’m closer to my son. V ain’t B, I keep saying. But to be a Dad again, I got to dig down deep. But V? “To B Forever Virgil.”

Thursday, June 15, 2023

Saga 349 ~To B Forever Virgil~

865 Days Without B III, Day 306 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? The fact that I’m talking to you today, you know. “Who Wants to Live Forever?”

I swear. I need to make a playlist of all the songs you send. I think. Whatever. But today B… After a nap, that was way too long. This is what I was thinking about. And you know how I’ve felt these days. Either it’s my stomach. I’m taking too many pills. And my ear. It’s easier to hear you than Virgil; I’m afraid to say. It’s effed up he had a better chance when I thought he was you. Your dad is not a good human. I’m sorry, Braxton. I’m still trying. You would sit here on many Sundays when I’d make a list of things. I should check. Gospel 214 ~ Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon~. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves.

Failed! Talk about something that will last forever. Or from 2017 to 2023. So six years Lesson 001 ~Look Who Grossed Up~ on Sunday, July 02, 2017. Existence wasted, Braxton. Mine, not yours. Because every single day… well, there was the time I figured you’d end up in my sister’s purse. Your first two-legged mother. Hell! The last time I talked to her, I brought up Virgil. I was talking to one of my nephews anyway. He wasn’t fond of Virgil. But what about me again? I am trying, Braxton. I’m alive; you still exist. But is it in grief or greatness? Maybe once I’ve completed time-traveling. Scheduling next week… On top of forever missing you, I’m always tired as well. Again we’re talking today.

At the moment, it’s Tuesday, June 13, 2023. And what has dear ole dad been doing for so many hours? Bucks, boobs, and bed. I wish I had your knack for comfy spots, Little B. Hakuna Matata, wherever you were. I swear I only saw you worry about forever and me. And here come the waterworks. You giving me your monster hairdryer toy. Sometimes I was sick, and you wondered if I would ever be well. And how would you be the one to take care of us? Virgil must believe I’ve been sick forever. 306 days! Braxton, your last day. You knew you were leaving; I was staying. We won’t be apart forever… But me ever seeing The Rainbow Bridge? To B Forever Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 345 ~To B Recovered Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t had any medical coverage since I was 26. My Ma always told me I didn’t make it a habit of getting sick. Cut to Braxton’s passing, wearing my earphones too often, and Pizza Hut food poisoning. And what about addictions? To B Recovered Virgil

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Saga 345 ~To B Recovered Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even with that, you can’t stop death. But you can damn well try. But you… sigh.

Besides telling you, yet again, that you woke up to a world without B in it. Ain’t that a bitch. Hell! Some wounds are never going to heal. So what did you expect right now? Today is always for lists, and here you are five days in. I should have cursed out Pizza Hut, to be honest. Not that you can blame them over the bum ear. I swear, punishment. Wednesday, I was an effing fire hydrant… Eww! Uh, that was way too much information. Thursday, I was weak, and it felt like bombs were going in my stomach. Retribution? Friday, I was only being punched in the stomach. But I endured and survived. Whatever. And Saturday was a breathable pain, but I got chills.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Vampire Academy” 1 by Richelle Mead
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I can’t focus on anything but the pain. It seems like. The same as you. God, how I miss B. Because your pain wouldn’t matter when it came to his, do you remember that? Hmm? Or how about the other little one who now rests at the foot of the bed? I don’t mean the little head. Today is not the day for this. You feel pretty effing horrible. Let’s be clear, though. We’re talking about Virgil, who I barely saw yesterday. Do you think that he knows? Is that why he seems to be reverting to his earlier days? When being Dad again? No! Even now, he’s not your son. But what is he? Not Braxton resurrected. Was he rescued? Is he recovering too?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Kindle Challenge) etc.
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I forgot Six Impossible Things but what about you? You don’t have much hope for yourself. Ok so this very second 7:37:27, 28, 29… This right here, right now, is your effing existence. Congratulations! It’s as good as it gets. You are sitting in bed breathing. Bouncing? I effed that up. Between Jill Kassidy saying, “I want you to fuck me.” And my favorite English girl’s melons. What am I, a DJ of pornography? Pathetic, perverted… Only all you want is not to be redeemed but recovered from everything. Good Luck! Braxton isn’t coming back. And Virgil? He needs to go outside. Are you getting up? Remains to be seen. Between puking, painkillers, and porn? None of that brings you back. To B Recovered Virgil

861 Days Without B III, Day 302 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 342 ~B’s A Grade, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Grades? Um, I cheated on a French test. And getting out of High School? A class called “Math In Society.” But in love? How about becoming a father again, a daddy. F because B is still my favorite. D? Am I V’s dad, hmm? Thinking. “B’s A Grade, Virgil”

Thursday, June 8, 2023

Saga 342 ~B’s A Grade, Virgil~

858 Days Without B III, Day 299 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If I had done better at school… Well, I would have a better Day Job.

So what would I like to do with my existence? How about what I would like to do with my life? Hell! As always, at this particular moment, and yes, I’m time traveling Little B. Like the song goes, “I’d Rather Be With You.” That takes me back, Braxton. Oldies? Honestly, Braxton, I’m not that old. I’m 38, while you were 76, aka 15 in human years. You were approaching 80 when I failed you. Failure? That’s one more F. If you knew me, B. Well, you did, but I mean when I was in high school. I was somewhere in my 20s when we met B. By that time, it was no secret… I feel stupid. No! I am Stupid! Um, my GPA is…

Do you want a confession? Now I’m not sure, but “1.4?” Do I want to Google that, as I have plenty today? It was Twitter that brought this on, though. “Hey Jealousy!” It’s not that, B. I appreciate black excellence. One of the few things I can be proud of liking. I’m too concerned with listening to the other head and my second account. Aftermath. How STUPID I became when you left. When I killed you… I’m not some Republican. Braxton, I don’t hide from history. Oh yeah? Have I made your album today? Tomorrow? The future B III. If only I had known you sooner, I could call myself a Survivor. How about I call you that? I didn’t need to be a doctor.

Although there’s been plenty of breast enhancement… I swear, like I was telling M Anime today. That would be Monday, June 5, 2023, for me right now. Anyway. As I was saying, I told her that sex makes men… What’s my word? STUPID! B you were/are my son, you know. I kept you out of school as your second mom pursued her higher education (sigh). But we both knew that B is for you, B III, boobies, and the bucks I could have to save you. Now there are only the books I read. Ain’t making me smarter. There’s Bitcoin for, um… Anyway, there’s the boy Virgil. To be a father again. I’d give myself a C. That’s being pretty generous. B’s A Grade, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 338 ~Please, B Good Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Deals with the devil? A wish from a genie? Getting in bed with the GOP (shudders). The best thing I had going was with B III. I asked him to be good, and I promised I’d be back. Uh, and I ended up being his terminator. The past? Please, B Good Virgil

Sunday, June 4, 2023

Saga 338 ~Please, B Good Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Hell! You won’t be this week… a Billionaire, I mean. But, like me, you’ll be wearing hoodies.

You’re the last one who should be talking about wearing anything. Life last week… disgusting. Depressing, Deviant… Is the word DUMB better than STUPID? Whatever. Dog! As in, the dog needs you. Virgil aka Virgil Vivi, aka 2V and not 2B. Ah, that name, ha. First, there’s 2B as in YoRHa No. 2 Type B from Nier: Automata. Rather pornography… Second, as you’ve seen this morning, 2V is not a second Braxton. B resurrected? Never! Did you want to cry today? It’s better out of sadness than the disgust I’ve been feeling again. Didn’t I say something to the tune of, “Guilt before we act is called morality.” Thank 2012’s Liberal Arts. Because what has Virgil done, hmm? What have I done? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Not in the slightest. I’m not a good “man.” I’m not a good… anything. And what about you today? You’re nine hours into the new week. And you can already tell you’ve failed two, three, five, and six. You keep looking at such and such, and you’ll fail four. Existence? You don’t want a good existence but a good life, and how do you start that? Don’t look at me! But isn’t that what today is all about? Braxton was/is so much better. There’s bucks. No, there isn’t because you wouldn’t be starving. And there are way too many boobs. Last week it was all about me whispering, “Please be good.” Saying that to whomever. But it wasn’t a good thing: Only Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Vampire Academy” 1 by Richelle Mead
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Please be good. How long have I had the same damn list? Short of the books changing now and again. Is Vampire Academy good? Eff me! Is there goodness? Seeing as how history is being erased. Perhaps Anne Frank’s words will echo forever. “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” Braxton, Virgil? They ain’t people, but I believe in their goodness. Okay, I’m iffy, considering Virgil’s. Meditating. You’ll do that every night (sigh). But last night, during the Loving-Kindness lesson. It was all about wishing something good for someone else. There’s also hoping for something good for yourself. But like me… What would you want for yourself and everyone? You’d never… bad words, right? Please, B Good Virgil.

854 Days Without B III, Day 295 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 335 ~The B Picture Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

If I could make any type of movie I wanted. I wish I could say it would involve zombies. What was the last horror movie I watched? What have I been looking at today? My supervillain origin story? And V’s been here almost a year. The B Picture Virgil.

Thursday, June 1, 2023

Saga 335 ~The B Picture Virgil~

851 Days Without B III, Day 292 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You can see what time it is. So how was my day? Well, I’m disgusted.

I could also say, Depressed, Disappointed, or, one of my favorites, DISCOMBOLATED. B, there’s also bereft of dollars. One more reason I’m late talking to you. Out at the movies? As if I have money to see something in theaters anyway. And there’s greatness, Braxton. Instead, you know why I feel so disgusting, dirty, and depraved. Oh, the ABCs, B. But I can’t say I’ve been reading much. I’ve started Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. So that’s a discussion for Lady Sophia. But I don’t want to talk about you or me, not this second. And what about Virgil? Have I watched any movies with him ever? I don’t know. But what I do know is that it’s been all about (sigh). “The Pic Phenomenon.”

I swear! I need to put the days I eff up in the phone. I’m sure your last day is in there for sure. It’s like effing dominos, you know. If you hadn’t left… There wouldn’t have been The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. So The Cherry Collision wouldn’t exist either. Braxton, I’m not blaming you at all. Only anytime I’m awake, I’m thinking about you. “Crime, it’s the way I fly to you,” as the song goes. I killed my best friend. So any others? Hell! I am so ashamed. It’s like that reporter in “Hotel Rwanda.” Wow! What a jump, huh, Braxton? I do miss watching movies with you and your Aunt. The world made sense. I was wholesome as I could be. Now?

Again, you saw me this morning. Even Virgil was hiding in your room —criminal ideas. Of course, I had them when you were here, no doubt. Only back then it was; B needs me today. And speaking of today, it would be punishment for what I have done to you. There’s everyone else… What do you want a list? Despite what they said back in school, I never made one of “those” lists, B III. And even today, it was only a dollar or bitcoin. Yeah. I remember saying if you’re going into Bitcoin and making temporary emails B III. I’m not being a Law Abiding Citizen. That’s three movies, three crimes, and my existence. Tragedy, comedy. Us, a love story. The B Picture Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad