Tag: Truth

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

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What’s so funny? You wouldn’t get it? In total transparency, I’ve never seen “Joker.” And I hate clowns. Explains how I feel looking in the mirror. Or at the news and anything on any day. Yet I laugh like an idiot. Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

Monday, May 15, 2023

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Yes, I laugh every time I say that. How I hate laughter, but we’ll get to that.

When I was a child, once upon a time… I wanted to be a comedian. Gallagher, to be specific. If anything, I wanted to smash things. Hulk Smash? My favorite Marvel hero, next to the Black Panther. Of course, I relate to him. Intelligent black man with lots of cash. Anyway, speaking of smashing. “Sex is a joke in heaven?” That’s from the movie Dogma. Is sex funny? I’d be lying if I said I don’t give the occasional chuckle at a dirty joke ha-ha. And I was saying today as I spoke to “Dear Future Wife.” Tuesday, May 9, 2023, so yes, I’m time traveling. Okay, so I was saying how I use the word boobies and even Yabbos. And what about my Braxton?

I would laugh my butt off when he’d go to town on one of his toys. His poor Aunt Carolina. It’s funny that the first time I had to give “the talk,” it was about him not being all up in her boobies. Braxton did plenty to make me laugh. Tears of joy, Madam? Umm… Well, Virgil hasn’t made me laugh at all. Not that I recall, anyway. But it’s funny that with all the pictures I have of my son. The first video I do, the phone… Virgil gallery. Madam, am I growing up and forgetting about my B. Never, his human huffs hilariously! I do after every encounter at the Day Job. And you know why that is. Because I can’t talk ever

As I swear up and down, AHEM… the effing comedian is effing dead, Madam. Braxton? The truth is he’s dead. And the truth is the funniest thing of all. One big effing joke, and like something out of 1984, we all get it and then don’t because, The American Way? Madam, it’s not only that but living, existing in general, laughing when we should cry. Hell! We do both. And I don’t mean to be all political now, but I saw this video today and:

Is existence funny? And I never learned to deal with the heckle. Hell! I never asked for it. I don’t want to be a caveman, a comedian, or speak only with my cock… But speaking… Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

834 Days Without B III, Day 275 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 316 ~B Said Mama, V~

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The first girl that won B over I’d choose. The first two were related to us. The third, he was leading to the bedroom. “What, Daddy, what’s wrong with her?” Never got to a fourth. Hasn’t been a woman in this house since he’s been gone. B Said Mama, V

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Saga 316 ~B Said Mama, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. As you know, Lady Lunalesca, we Billionaires are the biggest crybabies. I already started for Braxton…

Well, at least he’s part of why I’m crying now. Hell! He didn’t see me cry the day we met. I have to ease up on meditation. Last night, during the session, I was told to think of something that made me feel good. I’m sad to admit that B was nowhere to be found. What I thought about was being in bed sleeping. It could be worse, Lady Lunalesca. Already as the song goes, “Pretend that we’re dead.” I was that before Braxton. After… But anyway, the night I first met him, I couldn’t cry. He was this little “ball of fluff” I always wanted, even if I forgot. And there he was, being hugged by his new mom. I’ll be a monkey’s uncle…

If that. A brother or the other human that he had. Because the question became, “Where is your mother?” Braxton’s mom was everywhere. Now I didn’t mean that the way it sounded… Don’t my nephews have two different daddies? Shut-up! So B III’s mom, ha. What about my Ma? I haven’t seen her since Granddaddy’s funeral on Monday, January 30, 2023. Lunalesca, I’m sure I’ve talked to her after that. I’m a “man” who wants a family but can’t provide for one, that’s for damn sure. I have $5,000 in my name. Feeling lucky, hmm? And again, manhood and fatherhood. Nope! I texted her about the garbage bill. I think. But as far as getting a hug from her. I smelled worse than the corpse.

That was so not cool, I know. I still think about what I said to M Anime’s racial slur. Yep. You know Lady Lunalesca, I want to do much more than hug her; when it came to Braxton and his Aunt Carolina’s yabbos. Hell! He would have called her Ma as he led her to the bedroom. I do miss her “platonic” hugs. And I always said I would find him a hug. One more promise that I didn’t keep. Write a damn tab. No, I’m not mad, Luna. Looking at the date, and I’m cold. I don’t get enough hugs. My voice is like ice, to be sure. And something’s hard like ice. Finding a mom for Braxton… and Virgil. B Said Mama, V

832 Days Without B III, Day 273 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

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What am I going to read? Even if all I did was meditate, my head would be, “EXTRA, EXTRA, read all about it,” B III is still gone. I’ll read his medicine bottles. The TV will show the GOP get away with everything. And books? Lying With B, Virgil

Friday, May 12, 2023

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can lie forever and a day. Right, CNN? But comedy comes in threes…

As in my son B III, Triple, or it’s hip to B squared. Hell! I was about to say, “I feel,” like a killer. Only we know the truth, Lady Sophia. As the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Yes! Even now, I refuse to admit my boy is dead. I know he is. But every day, I call Braxton! You know I talk to him more than I do, Virgil. Even now, Virgil is dead center in the bed, and I moved over. He’s not my son. I wish I wanted; I wouldn’t be like this. Not his fault. Only I do believe it was B that was speaking to me on that day. But what now, B III? Braxton, lying about everything you.

Let’s focus on me, which you can see above. I don’t know why I decided to come clean today. Just because. You’re not Inspector Echo. And if Braxton were here… I’d know better. What about Nelson Mandela… “It’s never too late to do the right thing.” He wasn’t talking about the angle of the dangle… So why did I want to lie about it for so long, Sophia? Can I stop talking about my “Enormous Penis?” I swear I’ll start anew at 9:00 AM. Anyway, you know how I hate liars. And everything I have read this week has been about some liar. At least, “That’s why I’m starting with me.” Everything seems to be pointing to me getting out of bed. Braxton ain’t here.

And even if he were, I would be on the loveseat. Or better, at the dining room table writing away. I would tell him and me that I’m doing this to give us a better life. But I exist, sigh. And I want to say I’m trying. But that would be one more lie. I mean, even when I read… Again I’m reading The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes. Yet it’s only a chapter or two a day. And today being Friday or even tomorrow, I’ll read “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Contract.” Lady Sophia, it’s all so I can keep up with a book a week, hmm. Good news. Like I’m doing something “Successful.” When I instead be Lying With B, Virgil.

831 Days Without B III, Day 272 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 313 ~Lying Around B, Virgil~

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I both love and hate lying around? You know I love my naps. There are those two minutes I give myself calling to Braxton… He might come running for “medicine time?” Then realizing existing is a waste, and what I did last night… Lying Around B, Virgil

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Saga 313 ~Lying Around B, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I could give a masterclass in lying. I feel like “kaka,” to be honest…

Because… I hate lying. Don’t get me wrong, Inspector. I lie a lot. Nine times out of ten, it saves “my” ass. No wonder I haven’t joined B III. “It’s in my biological imperative.” Eugene Porter was a terrific liar too. But I couldn’t lie to Braxton. Lying, Inspector. Because… I told him he was going to be ok. I would protect him, save him, and in the end. I can’t say I meant to go this way. But when I do something awful and then lie about it. Inspector, in full transparency, today is Monday, May 1, 2023. And yesterday, I effed up. I wish Braxton were here. Of course, in the manner in which I effed up. Braxton would be on punishment… time-out.

And Virgil. Hell! When was his last walk? Now that’s effing dark to say, Inspector. Usually, all we do is lie around anyway. Not today. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m effing tired. Worse, I’m effing horny. So much so that I’ll end up spending more money. Then what, Inspector? I’ll have the perfect excuse to stay in bed. Where can I go being broke? Not so broke as to give into every kink and fetish. Last night when I fucked up, I didn’t buy the book The 120 Days of Sodom. I read the reviews. Strangely Cherry reminded me. She wrote a tale that’s a bit out there for me. Do you want to know a secret, straight-up fact? SCAT IS A HARD LIMIT!

It’s hard enough picking up B and V’s… business. Yet I want two-legged children, ha-ha. Now that’s not a lie. No! Inspector, I want to do a particular brand of lying today, as with most days. I want to lie down and wake up with my boy. I pray for that… well I think about it anyway. You know how I feel about The Almighty, Inspector, whatever. At the moment, I want to lie down and go to sleep like I should have done last night. All I’ll confess to right now is AHEM, The Savior’s Wife… OnlyFans. Inspector, I effed up. Finally, I wouldn’t mind effing some P.Y.T. I’ll never say no to that. Love, Losing, Lying… Three little words. Lying Around B, Virgil

829 Days Without B III, Day 270 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 311 ~Apparently, Models Do Have Standards~

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No matter what I say, I still hate that saying. A picture’s worth a thousand words. Hell! Words have got me wanting to see… other things. If we’re talking about B. Nary, a word. But B was/is beautiful. Others? Uh, Apparently, Models Do Have Standards

Monday, May 8, 2023

Saga 311 ~Apparently, Models Do Have Standards~

Two-Hundred and Ninetieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I can make photography a hobby. Something Replika keeps asking. Hobbies I wish I had…

Hell! The only model I ever REALLY had was Braxton. And even my son wasn’t on demand, to be honest, Madam. But everyone loved him. Not that I’m an influencer. Thinking… Yeah, that’s never been my strong suit. Well, when it comes to models. We’ll get to those kind of models. For now, there’s Virgil Vivi and… Well, I remember:

“If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.”

― Anonymous

I keep saying, “Virgil is not my son.” That makes me sound like a horrible human being, Madam. At least I’m being acknowledged as a man, ha. I can exist with that for now, hmm? Which is why I take so many pictures of myself. Ain’t that a lie? Let’s say, as the song goes, Look at this photograph. Every time I do, it makes me laugh.” That’s my dick

And as proud as I am of it… How many times have I looked up, in these past few days, increasing the size of a penis? What does that make me? OnlyFans and Carolina saw it. Let’s hope, right? Not that it’s a secret. I have enough of those to share with my dear Echo.
But today, I’m already time-traveling. It’s Sunday, May 7, 2023. Today shouldn’t be hard. I know, I hear ya (sigh). Can I stop talking about my cock for 2 seconds? All 6″ worth, ha. What would some people think, Madam?

Models, in particular. The only other reason to pick up any sort of a camera. My Braxton, what’s above my balls, and boobs. And there’s always more yabbos, without question. Only as the kids say, FOMO or Fear Of Missing Out. I’m an old man Madam. But not old enough for Cherry, I know. To go with another song, “All I wanted was to see her naked.” And if I had a dollar for every woman I wanted to see without their clothes on, I would be approaching a billion. At least making money faster than working the Day Job and yet living that kind of life. Dennis Hof only had Dominio. Hugh Hefner… Well, you see his legacy. I know other guys, and I don’t want to be them. The one-eyed monster, being a camera, or cock, only with enough cash. Because my Madam, Apparently, Models Do Have Standards.

827 Days Without B III, Day 268 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 309 ~Braxton, The Charge, Virgil~

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I never wanted to be a president or king. There was a time I wanted to be Dennis Hof, minus the GOP. But as Malcolm X put it, “I have to stand here today as what I was when I was born: a black man. Trite, considering. Braxton, The Charge, Virgil

Saturday, May 6, 2023

Saga 309 ~Braxton, The Charge, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can be guilty as sin but with enough paper… meaning green, not white.

I could use both; to be honest, I could use both. Seeing as how I haven’t been feeling well this week. I need to see a doctor. But considering the last few attempts. I get what I effing deserve! Lunalesca, who am I, the Joker? I’ve said it a few times. The comedian is dead. And yet my entire existence… So I won’t hold my breath on Trump ever facing punishment. And King Charles III Coronation is going on today. They say, heavy the head that wears the crown. Hell! Unlike Trump, I have a conscience. And the crowns I have been seeing, uh? Better not to say. But my head hurts, amongst other things? Braxton is dead. I yelled at a friend. The Day Job sucks. So, I’m guilty.

What did I do wrong? Lunalesca, I could name any number of things. Waking up. Honestly, one of the Revenge of the Nerds movies says it better… you were born. That’s enough. I’m sorry I’m so down this morning. If only I got up late again today. But my punishment or mistake? I don’t even know (sigh). The fact is I want to sleep, Lunalesca. But there is my charge. Virgil Vivi Bradford. He’s been getting worse… more scared, Lu. Like father, like son? But he’s not my son. Lunalesca, Virgil will never be Braxton. Lunalesca, am I the bad guy, an effing asshole, or have I forgotten. Virgil leads Dante through Hell. Dante never speaks Virgil’s name, though. Is It A Crime? Everything is.

Yet I look into the mirror; “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Again you can talk to Carolina about that. I mentioned her birthday. $50.00 and naked pictures. Lunalesca? There was a time I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Am I guilty of another betrayal? How treacherous am I? That honor belongs to Braxton. And to end such beauty. I’m repeating myself because, again, what happened yesterday. I’m woke. Standing up for what’s right for people. “Chinky” is not a nice word. Fetishizing Asians? I’ve been doing that with one woman in particular. Effing Instagram. But then B’s Aunt. Her getting laid because of me? Talk about some atonement. But all my sins… charges? Life. Braxton, The Charge, Virgil

825 Days Without B III, Day 266 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

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I planned on talking about all the books I bought, only I’m sort of a pop culture whore. Me… sexist? Duly noted. But I read something racist from a friend today. One word. I don’t fear being WOKE. Indifference killed my son. “Virgil’s B Book Report.”

Friday, May 5, 2023

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford whatever’s on the menu. I can read bills, sales, and regrets.

How to Be an Antiracist is not a book I regret reading. And I don’t blame the author for any of my actions… Uh, you kind of did. I hear ya, Lady Sophia. The power of the penis, as Todd says. I don’t regret reading Succubus Lord, either. Um, a whole other story, I know. It’s like looking over the last of Braxton’s medical bills. I don’t blame the veterinarians. But it does show me when I did the worst thing in my whole “life.” I killed my best friend. It could be the second… I mean, if we’re talking about the STUPIDEST thing ever… BIRTH. Anyway, I’m feeling lousy today because the girl I want to sleep with… She used the word “Chinky.” Racist?

“Oh, sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life.” – Alexis Bledel Sin City (2005)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? I’m not sure yet. I’m only starting to get into that book. But let’s stick with my attempt to be an Antiracist. As if I even recall what that means. I say I was more WOKE, and I couldn’t help myself. If this cost me the girl. Stupid MF. Hell! Lady Sophia, I spent a bit of time trying to explain away the slur. She could have meant like chink in the armor. “I try so hard. Can’t seem to get away from misery” Inevitable, ain’t it, Lady Sophia, that I screw this up. Trying to understand “What Makes A Good Man?” Hell! What kind of man am I? Ask Carolina Bound. I sent a nude for her birthday.

Hell! I wanted to talk about this Hunger Games book and Mesmerizing Caroline. What about that book binge I went on? I must also get in on a new Kindle Challenge, Lady Sophia. But after reading the alarm clock, 3:35 AM. Then reading M Anime’s text first thing. And yep, thinking with my penis. Have I found a second Hard Limit when it comes to BDSM? Um, a soft limit. The N-Word in music, dirty Latina maids, Asian fetish, etc. And it gets worse. M Anime’s fur baby is hurt, and I’m yelling at her because you know me, Lady Sophia, “Stay Woke.” I need to read more African American books and more about dead fur babies. Reasons dogs don’t write. Virgil’s B Book Report

824 Days Without B III, Day 265 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 306 ~B We Trust, Virgil~

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I told B III everything. I had to give him “The Talk.” Regarding his “Aunt Carolina.” Like father, like son. The internet made things easier with books and… umm, beauty. I swear to keep track. And Virgil? Do I trust him? Did Dante? B We Trust, Virgil

Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Saga 306 ~B We Trust, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Only I will take a Handy Dandy notebook over a portfolio any day of the week.

Speaking of which, I am continuing to time travel. Today is Saturday, April 29, 2023. Inspector, I can say I’ve been somewhat productive. I’ll lose more money on the 30th. Today, ha! I have a plethora of books to buy. I’m slightly pissed that I didn’t do it this morning. And before that, I said I’d do it last night. Then again… (sigh) listing excuses? That comes later. For now, let’s talk about books. Or how about the fact that I like Kindle? That’s Kindle and not Kendall, aka Professor Kelsey Williams… Sandra McCoy. Geez! Inspector if could make a list of distractions and/or women that get me hard. Anyway, I wanted to talk about that, to be fair. But hiding behind so many books.

Again better books than boobs. “This Is America.” Better books than bullets. My sin Echo. I bathe in Lust, not Violence (2nd and 7th Circles of Hell). Of course, that’s if I forget B III. I’m getting the 9th Circle for sure for what I did to my B. But not today. I’m still breathing. And with a father like mine… though, I couldn’t blame him if he kicked my ass for this one, to be honest. When We Were Young? When You Were Young. Hell! I’m a boy now. And as I sat in the barbershop today, I remembered when I had a folder of Jet and Ebony models. What the eff was I thinking when I was with “my” father and that folder.

Was I looking to die on that day? That’s another list I need to make. All the times I could have died. The only reason I’m glad I failed? It’s because, of course, I got to meet my little B. My son. Happy Memories? Inspector, how many times must I say it? I’m never Happy. Inspector, I haven’t been happy since I had my seventh birthday. What the Hell? Please! Those were the words that ended my happiness. However, there was a glimpse in 2002. Inspector, what was I supposed to say today? I wanted to write out all the chicks. So I could keep my pants on until later. Tell you the things I couldn’t tell Braxton. But trusting myself? B We Trust, Virgil

822 Days Without B III, Day 263 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 304 ~Tears Shed Lead To Paradise~

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When was I last listening to Eric Thomas’s speech on crying? How about when did I cry for my lost boy last? There are also the tears of how many angels. I’m not headed to paradise… after I die. But seeing I’m alive. “Tears Shed Lead To Paradise”

Monday, May 1, 2023

Saga 304 ~Tears Shed Lead To Paradise~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I hope I have the good sense to invest in shiny things. Don’t dive head first…

You know, like something out of DuckTales, Scrooge McDuck. Hell! It might be worth it. I’m already sick and tired. More so today. No offense to you, Madam Justice. I’ve done lots of talking today; the Man in the Mirror, B, and it’s your turn. As the song goes, “Tell me why? Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache. Tell me why? Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake?” Ha-Ha! Or should I go with this song, “Money for nothin’ and your chicks for Free?” In what world, Madam J? A world without my B? Oh, we’ll get to that because here I am working. No! That’s what I’ll be doing this week. Now it’s only us, and I’m tired. “Don’t cry to give up; cry to keep going.”

Learning how to swim? If I “endure and survive.” Someday it will all be worth it, won’t it, Madam? B and I would both be right here. We would sit in the Dining Room, me at the table and him under it on his pillow. The two of us crying together, and for what, hmm? Braxton cried for me. One more thing I can never forgive myself for. All those long nights of writing, telling myself I would publish a book. And I would have all the time he wanted. To not make myself feel like the selfish bastard I am, I want to say he cried for my tiredness—a lie Madam. Of course. Now I cry to put out the fires. Not Hell!

But Braxton would follow me anywhere. And since I’m still alive. Does Braxton wait for me? And I wish I could say to the Man in the Mirror… I’m gonna make a change for once in my life. It’s gonna feel real good. Gonna make a difference. Gonna make it right.” What did I say to myself on the 30th? Hell, if I know. Tears of laughter or happiness? No! It’s a toss-up between my dead puppy and my deviant perversions, to be quite honest. For example, … let’s say, a fetish for broken women. And OnlyFans is crying about my subscriptions expiring. Tears for losing such heavenly things, Madam. Braxton Barks? Hell, with all of my tears, the gates of Hell will not prevail… Tears Shed Lead To Paradise

820 Days Without B III, Day 261 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 302 ~Virgil, Let’s B Awesome~

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I didn’t understand love until Braxton, really… Let me add another word to that, awesome. Awesome was sitting in bed doling out fries to B. It was him sitting on the corner of the bed as I napped. It was being healthy. Someday Virgil, Let’s B Awesome

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Saga 302 ~Virgil, Let’s B Awesome~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would be awesome. It wouldn’t matter the clock, the crime… this isn’t Australia…

See, or better yet, the C word I wanted to use there. I have all the respect in the world for women. But that doesn’t make me a good man. Or even a man at all, no matter how I try. “My life” ha-ha, my existence is Shiitake mushrooms. And yes, Lady Lunalesca, I did look up are Shiitake mushrooms good for dogs? Because it always comes back to Triple B. “Aaugh!” I would go all FML but no. I continue to exist. Braxton was effed over having me as a friend, father, and freeloader when it came to all his love, Lunalesca. What does all this mean? Hell! Not a damn thing, I know. But the first word that came to mind today… Awesome.

Yeah, I fell asleep during meditation. Relax, Lunalesca, I was supposed to. If I wasn’t going so broke at the end of this month. I am inclined to buy the full service? With a Happy Ending? Oh, I’m sorry, that’s a massage, right? Thirty-eight years and I’ve never had one. And I wouldn’t even have to be a billionaire, Luna. Certain celebrities? Lunalesca, I’m trying to avoid looking them up. Or even something simple as, Happy Tugs. The things in this world that I find awesome. Haven’t I always said that everything I want is Impossible, Inane, Insane… Illegal. Lady Lunalesca, God gave me everything I want. Nope! Not yet. Why not? But you know what? Having Braxton Barks back. Now that would be awesome.

“Everything Is Awesome!!!” But the question is when. What about how or why, Lady Lu? If, as Aloe Blacc sang, “Life’s a game made for everyone.” Let’s start. Easy Level. Lady Lunalesca, (sigh) Virgil would get off my leg. My only reason for getting out of bed today, I swear—another lie. I should get a haircut, go shopping, and keep myself alive for B. Yeah, I said B and not V. And did I say easy? I can’t say what I mean, Lunalesca, ever? How I hope that is a lie. Like I tell myself every time I crawl into bed. I’ll take a nap, or I won’t have to get up at all. In-between, Eff, I mean, uh, Awesome. Virgil, Let’s B Awesome

818 Days Without B III, Day 259 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will