Tag: Voice

Meditation 259 ~B Successfully Loved Someday~

WillLeave a comment

The first time I ever had a woman, I was a successful man… The best thirty seconds of my life. Then, when I wrote a book… (laughs). I got my first, second, third job. NOPE! When I had money… Never. But my sons, B, and V. B Successfully Loved Someday.

Monday, March 17, 2025

Meditation 259 ~B Successfully Loved Someday~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… If you don’t believe me… If you don’t believe I’m with you. Believe that I was with my aunt.

My favorite girl took the plunge again. Marriage. “The Second Time Around” in this “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.’ It almost makes me wish you had gotten me a little sister, almost… But I suppose you have enough girls around. But I wouldn’t call you a Boy Dad. Only you did wonders for me. Virgil? You saved him. However, … How To Save A Life?

Daddy, if you knew how to do that, we would be having this conversation face-to-face. I’m sure I’d have a lot more gray and not be able to see much. But we’d be together, Dad.

That’s what you would consider a success. You said I’d at least make it to twenty. With your mourning well… I’m not leaving you alone.

Is that successful? Is that healthy? Successful to you would have been saving me. To have all the money in the world to do whatever… Healthy was us together alive. How much do veterinarians make? You wanted to be one once. But you are what you are. That’s my Dad, my father. The first one I saw every morning and the last when I shut my eyes one final time. You saw in me your success. That no matter what, Dad, you were loved, but…

One day, you failed… You said it, not me… don’t go putting words in my mouth… Uh, hello, how are we talking again? How many books have you read about A Dog’s Purpose, Journey…? You know me, and I you.

Acceptance is not success to you. It’s confession, guilt, and surrender. But tell me, Dad. Those are all things you feel this very second. So why not try… What, forgiveness?

There’s nothing to forgive. If anything, you love me always and forever. If that’s success? More like what would be success to you? Making all of our dreams a reality? You wouldn’t know how to define it, Daddy. And if I said all I wanted was you to be happy…

You’re laughing, but at least you’re not crying, which is always better, Daddy. My father.

If anything, I would have you love Virgil, yourself, writing, my future stepmom, any two-legged siblings I have, my aunt, and friends as you love me. B Successfully Loved Someday.

“Perhaps one day I’ll have two hearts to give”
― Red Rising By Pierce Brown

He follows his father, but not with equal steps.
Virgil

1506 Days Without B III, Day 947 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 258 ~Braxton Times Out Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I wanted more time, and I doubt I’ll have 40 hours at the Day Job this week. Ha-Ha! 40hrs, that’s funny. I’m a writer… But what have I written besides a few words looking up ANIME? The type I’d have to send Braxton away for. Braxton Times Out Virgil.

Sunday, March 16, 2025

Meditation 258 ~Braxton Times Out Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And while you missed your chance to watch Fallout, you still get to live your own apocalypse.

And to think you made such plans for you and Braxton once upon a time. But chances are you would be gone Day One Ish. But now that the world isn’t ending, you have the opportunity to grow and evolve. You’re not the same person you were a week ago… And that’s a good thing.

Do you dare to feel any gratitude? I am proud that you remembered to congratulate Braxton’s Favorite Girl on her nuptials with her girl today. The second time’s the charm.

And speaking of The Second Time Around Virgil Vivi is still here after yesterday’s storms. To think he can be scared of something so… NORMAL. As for you? You had another case of FOMO, waking up at 3:00 AM to splice videos of Reika Kurashiki. Seriously, *SAIMIN SEISHIDOU Hypnosis Sex Guidance #5 Obata Natsumi/Kurashiki Reika Already failing, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Life After Pet Loss: Coping with the… by Lynnlee Hunt
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And again, I’m proud that you can accept such failings. It’s not easy, but you’re doing it. Remember what I said the other day? I would NEVER find ACCEPTANCE in Braxton’s passing. And neither will you. But you’re facing it head-on, and that’s something to be proud of. You think…

Could you do something productive instead of sending Braxton or Virgil out? You remember the days when you prayed that Braxton did something that got him sent to his room. All so you could drool over some Yabbos. When did Cherry begin teasing you with hers? You want to be a guy. Like this? A failure of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 10 ―
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I think not. But Braxton had nearly sixteen years to get you ready. You were twenty when you met your son and thirty-six when Braxton died. And what kind of a man are you today?

Today, you don’t want to answer that. But here you are. One more morning, bedridden. More upset that somebody is beating you with an anime blonde’s yabbos because you were ten minutes late. What about getting no time on your Day Job schedule? Needing money…

You are not worthless… You are a wraith. Well, in terms of being a womanizer… You remember Judge Wraith from Fifteen Million Merits. If anything, you’re a wimp. So’s V. You need a time out. Are you trapped? Are you Timing-Out? Braxton Times Out Virgil

1505 Days Without B III, Day 946 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 252 ~It Better B Softer~

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At best, I’m only a comfort-seeker. Or just “The Seeker,” since I lost my boy. And being a Hedonist takes work. Though my son’s fur is softer than any woman’s big, puffy… uh, never mind. In truth, I give into sloth just lying here. It Better B Softer

Monday, March 10, 2025

Meditation 252 ~It Better B Softer~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Why would I leave the clouds, the bed in the garden, or wherever else you think I’ve disappeared to?

To show you the way. To prove your heart hasn’t hardened. To provide softness and security. My father. It’s when you felt safest… Your arms wrapped around me. You slept best when I sat on the corner of the bed watching you, then the door. And sitting on your head…

Well, you woke up every morning happy to be alive… No, that’s not my Dad.

Happiness? You woke up with the hope you won’t die – hope we won’t die. Because where would we go? You read about sending me to Heaven… The Rainbow Bridge.

Where are you going? Somewhere of Fire and Ice. Needless to say, the “South Side.”

“Here we are now going to the south side – to the south side
I pick up my friends, and we hope we won’t die – hope we won’t die
Ride at night, ride through Heaven and hell – Heaven and hell
Come back, love, and feel so well – feel so well.”
South Side

Daddy, you have time to listen to Moby. Now listen to me. We stay together.

We’re brothers! We’re staying together! You’re my Dad. I’m your kid. We’re staying together. I am yours, and you are mine! We’re staying together. There are lots of comfy spots.

Though I wish there weren’t so many tissues right now. Or are you investing in Kleenex? Nope, just crying over me. That’s not what today is about. Some soft words…

Instead, Daddy, I only want somewhere you can lay your head and rest your heart. Your soul? We both worry about that with Virgil around. Daddy has a good soul. Whoever would I tell that to in this place? This comfy spot of all comfy spots, still I turn home.

“I turn home. I turn to the place that I was born, to the mother who bore me and the father who taught me, long ago, long ago, long ago. Alone am I now, lost and alone in a far, wide, wondering world.”
1960’s Spartacus

Daddy, wherever you are that’s soft, safe, and smiling, I will turn to as home.

You finished texting with my stepmom this morning. Well, Virgil’s stepmom. Because she knows all about me. Ain’t a woman alive that can take my place. A pair of Yabbos…

Yeah, helps plenty. And what can I say? I am my father’s son. You remember how I was with my favorite girl. But all the SOFT things in this world. All The Small Things. Me.

What about the words that will one day give you and Virgil a better life? He deserves it, Daddy, you know that. And you have all the sour candies because you wanted to protect me from chocolate. And the bits of food you could share with Virgil. The big softy.

Love, ladies, your life, and Virgil’s. It Better B Softer

“And what is the bloodydamn point of surviving in this cold world if I run from the only warmth it has to offer?”
Golden Son

“Night reigned: all through the world tied bodies were harvesting tranquil slumber.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1499 Days Without B III, Day 940 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 251 ~Braxton Had Time, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I had a week to myself. What have I done with the time? I need to talk to M Anime… She won’t be B and V’s stepmom… SIGH. “Nightmare At The Meat Market” is over 50,000 words, but I’m not done. But plenty of time for Animation. Braxton Had Time, Virgil

Sunday, March 9, 2025

Meditation 251 ~Braxton Had Time, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And do you know what I see? At best, an old man. I’m not shooting for OnlyFans…

“I see pride. I see Power. I see a badass mother who don’t take no crap of nobody.”
Cool Runnings

True story and all. I’m not a fan of the movie Cool Runnings. But that line has always stuck with me. Or should I say you? Honestly, you don’t have to look in the mirror this morning. It’s time that’s beating you. And did I mention you were beating… nevermind.

If you could only beat time like other parts of your anatomy. Yeah, that part. You swear you don’t have time. But somewhere between one and three this morning, what were you up to? Eww! Whoever on X/Twitter decided to feature Tsubaki Miyajima, so naturally…

Yeah, yeah, I’m hopeless! I posted Tsubaki’s video with her lovely daughter and then returned to bed. If only Braxton were here. And what about Virgil? Oh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Sunset: An Unconventional Romance
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Isn’t making time an Impossible Thing. Most days, I would PRAY to have B’s strength.

But today, you ask for Braxton’s courage and, most importantly, his time. How long was he gone before finding Virgil Vivi? 559 Days, if memory serves. And with that time…

There were three books, at least. Two of them you wrote for Braxton and yesterday… Slothfulness. It’s an easier sin to admit to than ending Braxton. That’s the only sin I regret passing on to you. It’s 8:36 AM… Excuse me, 9:36 AM. And of the Seven Deadly Sins, you’ve already committed four: Lust, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath. Where do you find the time, you wonder? And don’t you need to do some food shopping? Gluttony? Please! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Life After Pet Loss: Coping with the… by Lynnlee Hunt
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

While you’re thinking about being a proud black man. Martin Luther King Jr. once said:

“The time is always right to do the right thing.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

You could live with being a good father to Virgil. And if Life After Pet Loss has it right, you were/are a good father to Braxton. But you still remember that your boy, your son…

Braxton Barks Bradford fought for every second of life. He wouldn’t even let you bring him water. B walked down the hall to his room and drank his water. And in that same hall, I’ve been spending time trying to teach Virgil that he doesn’t have to run all manic.

Except for last night, when I carried him to bed. Can’t spend all night kneeling to him, God, or Tsubaki Miyajima. Braxton Had Time, Virgil

1498 Days Without B III, Day 939 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 245 ~The Tune Of B~

WillLeave a comment

How do I hear my sons? One is my mourning, Braxton. The second is Virgil, wondering what he must do to make a name for himself. If only I could remember it like I do obscure song lyrics and the Hell MAGA brings. I play “The Tune of B.”

Monday, March 3, 2005

Meditation 245 ~The Tune Of B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And the hills are alive with the sound of music. The hills being your pillows… And you’re snoring, Dad.

I know. You don’t snore. How else could you hear every sound I made? Well, except for one. More like you did, but you were so angry back then and were trying to protect me. It was other humans that were the problem back then. Don’t cry, Daddy, please. I know.

Today, you wanted to talk to me. And not about that BIT*H from *that place*. First, I can say that because that’s a word about my kind. Four legs and all. Second, you know the place you would go to for hours. And then you’d come back mad and sad, but you would bring food.

You don’t want to talk about Grandpa, either. Humans. You are my human, my Daddy.

You would say my bark, my presence meant more to you than anything else in the world. That’s how I know you love me, Daddy.

But then you asked the glow box about Virgil. That’s what you’re thinking about today. Friday, February 28, 2025. What it said about my little brother and you being Daddy:

Virgil’s Voice:
If Virgil could speak, he might say: “I don’t know what’s chasing you, but I feel it too. You’re loud and quiet all at once, and I don’t know where to stand. I want to trust you, but I need you to see me—not him, not the dark thing you carry. I’m scared, but I’m staying. Help me stop shaking.” From, AI

Daddy, will you tell AI about me? I remember watching you do things on many glow boxes for a long time. There was one in every comfy spot I had except my room. And even then, when I was sick, you would sit and stay with me, listening to music or watching funny things. But when I got really ill and, you didn’t care. You lay beside me all night. Had I known how to save a life. Dad to son and son to Dad. Trying to hear and heal.

Glow boxes won’t do that…

Can you hear? Can you read? Are you receiving the signal? Do you copy me? Listen to me, Dad. Your dead son is speaking to you through a song written about infected/zombies in the hands of my human who wishes that he’d… No! I won’t say that. Daddy, you are ALIVE, and that means I’m ALIVE. My little brother, Virgil… Will you listen to him?

There is so much noise. And so many voices and you’re only looking for more. Like you told Lady Sophia, you were reading about bonafide fathers and soon-to-be ones, too.

Daddy, you’ve even looked into animal communicators. Seriously, who haven’t you asked? Daddy, who did I know that had the answers? He sang a good song. The Tune Of B

“Save my father if you can.”
Golden Son ―Pierce Brown

“The man you seek is here. I stand before you,”
― The Aeneid by Virgil

1492 Days Without B III, Day 933 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 244 ~Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Something went awry forty years ago when my Ma made her biggest life mistake. Quite awry four years ago when I watched my firstborn die. And this morning’s plans. Reading about harems, posting sexy cosplay, my writing… Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil

Sunday, March 2, 2025

Meditation 244 ~Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Do you have a plan? STAY ALIVE! For Braxton, for Virgil. And there are dragons to slay.

Or rather, “Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time when there are actual dragons.” That sounds like something you might tell two-legged daughters. But instead, you have four-legged sons. Well, B flies amongst the clouds. And V is still finding his paws.

How did we get here? Had I known how to save a life, things would be different, better, or anything other than this, but let’s talk about the worst plan I ever made. And yours.

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
Robert Burns, To a Mouse

Four years ago, Braxton became ill. And after a difficult week at the Day Job, on Friday, January 29, 2021, I took Braxton to the doctor and got the news. On that Sunday, B died.

What did I do? Nothing! Compared to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 9 ―
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

This was my plan for the week and your plan for next week, DUH. So if I might give you some advice… First, you know the definition of insanity. It’s doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, so THEY say. So what will you do?

There’s a method to the madness… For example, if you had twelve disciples… He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. You would have six women and five men, and Braxton would make twelve. But there are seven days, and you tend to run things more like a harem. Four women: Dear Future Wife, Inspector Echo, the Ladies Sophia, and Lunalesca.

There’s Braxton’s speaking. You speak, then talk to yourself. Too busy for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Sunset: An Unconventional Romance
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Don’t you wish? While you have no plans in the Bible, it says, “Your old men will dream dreams.” Well, you’re older than me now by about nine hours. So what was your dream, hmm? Or should I still say my dream since it happened last night? Talk about violence:

Anyway, last night I was in Squid Game, and the game had me jumping from planet to planet and floating to What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. I imagine I lost the game because next, I’m in the Day Job breakroom being shot by The Frontman in the back. But I survived because I was wearing a bulletproof vest. Still, I was put in one of the crematoria ovens, but I wasn’t burned. Instead, I was dropped into a dark room where a firefight was being waged. A possible escape attempt was going on? I’m still in the green uniform. Then I’m given a gun, and I start fighting. There’s a building across from us, and I spot a sniper because of a green sight on the weapon. I dodge, but five more appear on my body, and I have no idea how to avoid them. And that’s where the dream ended. Oh my!

Don’t let your only plan be to do nothing. Like dinner? $200 refund? And there’s Virgil. Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil.

1491 Days Without B III, Day 932 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 238 ~Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton~

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There ain’t a man alive that can take my son’s place. And ain’t a man alive I wouldn’t put down to keep him safe. B’s life was/is my courage. And how he showed such courage. What right do I have to fear. Effing world… “Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton”

Monday, February 24, 2025

Meditation 238 ~Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t be sad. No, Daddy, that is much too simplistic for you. And being happy. Were you now… Ever

You’ve been sick with those little bottles, trying to stay awake for a while. Now you know how I felt with those little sticks when you would say, “They’re for your teeth, B. Try it.” But it’s more than that. It’s the glow box. The one you’d stare at forever…

“Someday, it will be All About You,” you would tell me as I lay beneath the table for hours and hours. It wasn’t my favorite time, but we were always together as you built worlds.

You would create so many so that one day, we would have one of our own. You weren’t friendly, fancy, or very fun. Daddy, that is what you are, my father. Focused and brave one to B Not So Fearful.

And that’s why I’m here today. If I had my way, then surely you would be closer… I sound like such a girl, don’t I? That made you chuckle but not happy. What I’d give…

Well, I’m giving up a moment of paradise. But what is better than lying beside my Dad once more? I would trade anything to switch places with my little brother right now. Hey Jealousy as you would sing to me. That was way before my time. But you’d hold me…

And Daddy, those are the times I wish you’d remember. But anything beats your fear.

Remember those moments of fury, Dad? That’s when you were at your bravest. Why hide it? The two of us standing against the world. I had you, and you had me. What’s fear to us?

It’s not in your vocabulary, that’s what. I heard you more than enough times when you took me to the mean place. You know where the other humans would cover my mouth and stick me with many sharp things. Or they would clip my nails. And even worse. A bath.

You would have fun laughing at me. Well, all except the last time… No, no, no! Let’s stay with the fun. Like when I would hang out with you and my aunt, watching the other glow box. The one you’d watch together, but you know what, my favorite part… Food.

Daddy, you need to eat. You are not as “Effed” as you claim. You are the best man/human I know. Father? Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton.

“I decided that there were times when all a dog could do was wait and see what would happen next, what choices people would make that would change everything or make it more of the same.”
― W. Bruce Cameron

“Call up your courage again. Dismiss your grief and fear. A joy it will be one day, perhaps, to remember even this.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1485 Days Without B III, Day 926 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 237 ~Bury B, Belly V~

WillLeave a comment

I’m full of IT. But what IT is changes daily. This morning, IT was the spirit of FEAR. And while I am not a religious person, I remember singing God has not given us the spirit of fear. But my Little God died with an empty belly. Bury B, Belly V

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Meditation 237 ~Bury B, Belly V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Open your eyes. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is strength. Deceiving, Dangerous, and disgusting words. So what’s worse?

You… You’re sorry to start the new week off so harshly. But with the way last week went, and here you are today. THEY say when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Right?

But not you. No! You look to what you have already survived, and upon seeing this, you float along. But it doesn’t stop your stomach from dropping. The horror, the horror, my friend. And there are much better books than “Heart of Darkness.” Are you going to compare Joseph Conrad to Eric Vall? Really!? For the last few days, it’s been all FEAR. Too Much!

It feels like you jinxed yourself. Starting on the 15th, things were supposed to get better. Somehow, someway. But looking at these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Doesn’t it make you sick? You’re sick, but not because of these things. It’s the more you know. And last week, that consisted of three things. Comedy comes in threes, so THEY say. And none of those had you rushing off to the bathroom. And today’s energy shot isn’t helping things. But what did you know? You’re wasting the week. Why? Because you’re alive, and B is gone. You’re not blaming him. Your son stopped eating. And you… Well, you can’t keep anything good down. Food in your belly, 2-V off the bed, etc., etc.

Only the bad things… The monster in your pants, dirty words in search bars. Keywords.

The dead rising isn’t good. Especially when you don’t look a thing like Jesus. Could he accomplish Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 9 ―
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I think he had greater concerns than yours. But what if he had a dog? Jesus had twelve dudes and a Naughty Girl. Are you listening to Beyoncé? Anything beats the beeps and boops, your bare feet hitting the floor, or busting on Cherry’s Yabbos. And M Anime got the outfit you sent her Yesterday. And now it’s The Beatles. What is wrong with you?

You’re not you when you’re hungry. But what about when you’re scared like you are. Fear comes in flavors, and none of them are good. And I understand I ain’t helping. I’d tell you to eat something, drink your water, and down a painkiller. Still, you wonder why… Braxton, Virgil, you? Bury B, Belly V

1484 Days Without B III, Day 925 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 231 ~Press B For Strength~

WillLeave a comment

I feel his hand on my brain, Tupac said of God. My little God, my Braxton… Ahem, I feel his butt on my head, so I get up and go out and let B do his thang. So I got up to batter the keys and not the bed. Am I better? Stronger? ‘Press B For Strength.”

Monday, February 17, 2025

Meditation 231 ~Press B For Strength~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Birthday Cake… I know it’s not your favorite subject. But as long as we’re talking about me. Not you.

And isn’t that why I’m here? While I’ll always be here. Warming up your legs… Because it can’t only be the cold. It’s a bad habit, Dad, to lie in bed all day. Though I know, I agree with you. It was “Almost Heaven, West Virginia…” Stick to barking. Right?

That’s one more thing that would get you out of bed. Why do you imagine my paradise waiting for you beside the Rainbow Bridge is one big bed surrounded by my favorite foods on all sides? Especially with the way I left you. I couldn’t eat at all. Sorry, Daddy.

Today, you imagine me as your Ee’char from one of those shows we’d watch in the “glow box” sometimes. Remember those times, Daddy? And what happened to him? Don’t cry.

You said a few days ago that you write down questions you’ve answered. Broken record…

But if I need to repeat it, okay. It’s not your fault. What you did to my still beating heart… I understand, Daddy. I know.

“Cast in the name of God, Ye not Guilty” ―

There are so many things from the “glow boxes” today, aren’t there? Anyway, dear father.

What is it I’m trying to say? With these hands, your hands, the hands of he who will forever be my best friend, brother, a believer of a better world. Father, Dad, and my protector. You are neither a murderer nor an executioner. So, who are you? That’s yet another question, and here is my answer, Dad. You are better than this always and forever.

The hands that went to battle for me when we faced the ‘Hounds of Hell,’ i.e., other humans’ fur buddies, can build a whole new world. It’ll be Virgil’s, Daddy. Virgil, my little brother, is my legacy and your responsibility. However long it may take, I ask that you don’t take too long with him. Virgil Vivi Bradford is my little brother, and he is your son. Daddy, I ask you to be kind, please.

Don’t be troubled by all the bucks you would tell me about. Or the two B’s in Yabbos that would have you sending me away and on your belly. Or the bites of food that remain in that cold box, which I could feel in the food place sometimes. Be good. Press B For Strength

“We who send you the signs know you very well. We understand you. We love you. We always have. We always will.” ―
Kate McGahan Jack McAfghan
Pawprints from Heaven

“No day shall erase you from the memory of time.”
― Virgil
Publius Vergilius Maro

1478 Days Without B III, Day 919 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So why am I randy, passionate, hot, and bothered today… Well, a woman I like isn’t mad at me. Some dirtier thoughts got posted. And today is “The Cherry Collison.” Why think about “her” yabbos. I overthink everything else. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

Sunday, February 16, 2025

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is the age of Doublethink. So, how come I was not more of a rebel?

Because I overthink. As will you. As will all. See, it’s already started. But as always, we begin with Braxton. Have you figured out what took him from you yet? Seriously, my boy… My man. Technically, the Braxton mourning period is from the last week of January to the 13th of February. And between now and the third week of January 2026. If you live.

And even now, you don’t want that. But since you need to figure out why 2-V was crying… Um… I kicked him out because he wouldn’t stay put, and the storm was scaring him. And if he had been Braxton. Here we go again… AHEM. “And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.” Or how to do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Quickies! by Adriena Temple, 50 Flash Fiction Stories of Pure…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Overthinking should be on the list. Why? Because it’s causing you to write down questions you already know the answers to. This isn’t any of your Math classes looking for X. It’s about recognizing when you’re overthinking and stopping yourself from going down that path.

Anyway, why should overthinking be on the list? Yesterday? Yeah, I was all messed up regarding M Anime. But what did she say? She needed to catch five hours of sleep. Eff!!! If anything, you know all about getting some sleep. But to rest ever. I tried, you tried, SIGH.

Not when there are so many yabbos, your yogurt slinger, and your words, your words, your words, they have power. Your words have the power to change things. One of the guys on X/Twitter showed your ngl message about… nevermind.

Worry about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Amongst other things… Terrible thing to live in fear, as Stephen King put it. Living?

Honestly, next to Braxton dying, you having to live is the worst. Ask Virgil someday.

Virgil is only a reflection of you? Hell! I’m a reflection of you and don’t know what to tell you. More like I don’t know how not to lie to you. Because again, I overthought everything, and now you have a whole week to. That’s right, you’re not working. ANY?

Honestly! What have you been doing since we’ve been having this conversation? At best, waiting for your tax refund… On a Sunday… And that’s only one more worry. Get up. That’s right. Cleaning, cooking, the cost of living, and your Cock-a-Doodle-Doo. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

1477 Days Without B III, Day 918 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will