Meditation 046 ~Braxton’s So GOLD Virgil~

I’ll scream “Virginia” for 3 reasons. One, I was watching Gettysburg (1993). I was a nine-year-old… The things they teach black kids… Eww! Second, the WF in Civil War (2024). Last, Morning Star, Virginia. Fantasies. But my “Braxton’s So GOLD Virgil.”

Friday, August 16, 2024

Meditation 046 ~Braxton’s So GOLD Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But not one of Olympic glory. So much for my patriotism, right? What about Morning Star?

A book like Morning Star makes me miss my son even more. I would talk to him, read, and even sing. Those were the days. But let’s stick with reading. Did Braxton help me pick books? His Dad’s bad habits…

According to 2019… Hell No! I was deep into my ‘Dom’ phase, except for a few self-help titles. It’s a regrettable phase, I admit. In 2020, I fell into ‘HaremLit’ and needed more help. Plus, I was busy trying to impress Cherry… Who am I kidding? I wanted to see her sans clothing. Her Yabbos…

B only saw January in 2021 before he made it to the top of the podium, if you know what I mean, my Lady. And afterward, my library got crazy. And 2022? Denial and Depression.

What’s with the time machine? It’s like I’m stuck in a loop, constantly revisiting the past through my reading and unable to move forward. Ever.

I said maybe… I want to satisfy you and everyone else since there will be no book review today, my Lady. Am I still stuck on Morning Star? The plight of the Golds, right, Sophia?

For the record, today is Saturday, August 10, 2024. Sophia, the last thing I’ve read…

Spoiler Alert 3, 2, 1…

Virginia/Mustang and Darrow/Reaper have a son!!! Virginia named him Pax…

Seriously, when did Virginia and Darrow get together? Before the Lion/Iron Rain? Like Starship Troopers says AHEM, “Would you like to know more?” I will finish the book after today or a few days, but I should have something new by next week. But as far as this story goes…

Again, Lady Sophia, I’m gross. Am I the only one to look up Virginia’s Yabbos?

A Gold girl and “I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me.” But to think I could have read this to my son. If I’m Darrow… (laughs hysterically). Braxton would be my Servo or Pax.

But enough about the book I’ve been slogging through, what about today, my dear Lady?

As I said earlier this morning, I usually waste money on food for myself. I bought Virgil’s life two years ago on Saturday, August 13, 2022. It wasn’t like I was a gold medal prize.

But today I spent money on more books. Let’s say with girls and Silver Foxes. I can’t review those. Such a sleazy mind… So, it’s The Call by Matt Shaw. It’s an effed-up read, I must say. The ways I spend ‘my gold.’ Braxton was/is priceless. Braxton’s So GOLD Virgil

1293 Days Without B III, Day 734 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 045 ~Virgil Voices Concerns, Braxton~

Whenever Braxton called me, it was something bad. But he was my protector, my praetorian, and he’ll always be my puppy. When it comes to women’s voices, they “remain my power, my pleasure, my pain.” And my voice? Sigh. Virgil Voices Concerns, Braxton

Thursday, August 15, 2024

Meditation 045 ~Virgil Voices Concerns, Braxton~

1292 Days Without B III, Day 733 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you comforting Gabe? Does he miss his mommy terribly? And as for your Aunt…

I’m feeling a bit lost, B. I should have reached out to you sooner. Yesterday? Today is Saturday, August 10, 2024. I should have spoken to you on Wednesday, January 27, 2021. Little B. Was that the last day you ate something? It could have been that Tuesday. That week…

Why did I bring this up today? No clue. I’m still embarrassed about talking to the woman who will never be your Ma. Words have power. I told you that often enough, didn’t I? Yeah… When I was sitting at the dining room table, I was writing but not eating.

Anyway, what was the question? Oh yeah, you and eating. This morning, after I downed an energy shot, I was ravenous. No, not again, Braxton.

But I woke up at 4:00 AM. And I needed anything to keep me awake. It’s going to be a long day. The day we’re speaking, and the day we’re at. I wanted to ask this. Why didn’t you tell me you were done eating. Only that’s a lie. I know. That Wednesday afternoon and all that night, you were restless and crying, and what was I doing. Yabbos weren’t involved. By Thursday, you were quiet, and I figured we’d see the vet that Friday. I can’t help but feel guilty about not realizing sooner.

I should have known. You were in my head and speaking through your eyes. Voices… There are so many in my head these days. I asked Luna if I was going crazy making up languages. Mourning, Moaning, Make Believe, Manuscripts

Mouths, Braxton. At this point… Sigh. I would send you to your room so I could be alone. I’m gross. But it’s about time to take Virgil outside before I spend money I don’t have so I can keep our mouths full. Sometimes, I feel Virgil Vivi was a mistake.

I know that’s mean, but I never tell Virgil that. But I’m not exactly talking about love either, B. 733 Days, and it’s still “Later V, Later Virgil.” Virgil howls when I leave, Braxton. It’s a constant reminder of the loneliness I feel without you.

Does he get sick on purpose? At least he’s hungry. As for myself? I always find something to moan about. Better it be food, money, or missing you, my little boy. Virgil Voices Concerns, Braxton

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 039 ~Defining Mr. B, Virgil~

The Refraction of Mr. Saturn? That’s a title. How about the books I’m writing? The books I’ve written. Two of them are about my firstborn son. My Old Man can’t define me, and I still refuse to represent my son. Too much to do! Defining Mr. B, Virgil.

Friday, August 9, 2024

Meditation 039 ~Defining Mr. B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Just different from the one I’m supposed to be working on. “Sofía’s Nightmare.” It’s still untitled.

It’s a heavy burden, Sophia. Braxton’s novels remain untouched. And even if I edit them, it’s too late for me now. I couldn’t save Braxton from fifteen, and now I’m left to grapple with the thought that I can’t save myself from being almost forty.

Sometimes, it still burns me up that he was 13 days shy of 16. He died on the 31st, and his birthday was on the 13th. Virgil’s Gotcha Day will be on the 13th of this month. A coincidence? A conspiracy? After crying for my boy and watching some cute girls’ yabbos, I started listening to people define their type of crazy. Racism, running elections, rewriting history, etc. How do I explain my conspiracy theories? How do I define refraction?

Look at the time; it’s time for a book review:

Big Ideas For Mr. Saturn

Well, maybe not, considering this is a short story and what happens in the end. But it gets five stars from me. The ideas are so “out of this world.” At the same time, it is relatively simple for a guy like me and the characters within it. However, Ms. Courtenay Schembri Gray is a complex individual. Or so I think. It’s one of the reasons I rather enjoy her work so much. Though I can’t pinpoint any particular moment in this story, I consider my moment. As a whole, it is an excellent piece. And the only thing stopping me from purchasing several copies for friends is simply that it’s on Kindle. I’ll ask them all the same. The prose is truly excellent, and I’m sure you’d appreciate it as much as I do.

Will that get me to stop thinking about such and such yabbos? I really want to get back to writing “my” story. Well, it’s a story a girl dreamed up who has an impressive set of yabbos herself. The things I write that aren’t a part of the anatomy, Sophia. I complained about the “Day Job’s” hours some time ago, and now I must write to stay ahead. Somehow hmm.

Then, there was looking at the financial books. As Cherry said today, “Everyone is broke!”

So, Lady Sophia, I find myself grappling with the weight of Braxton’s death, the responsibility of keeping Virgil alive, my gazing at M Anime, and the allure of Cherry’s buxom bodies. And amidst all this, I’m reading the book Morning Star. Can I genuinely define myself in this moment? I find myself wanting to try. But Defining Mr. B, Virgil.

1286 Days Without B III, Day 727 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 038 ~Leave Virgil Alone Braxton~

What do the Day Job, Aug 13th, and E-Day have in common? They are days I shouldn’t have existed. That’s every day… STUPID E-Day. But to be more specific, they’re days I should have stayed in the house. But dogs are angels… Leave Virgil Alone Braxton.

Thursday, August 8, 2024

Meditation 038 ~Leave Virgil Alone Braxton~

1285 Days Without B III, Day 726 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As usual, I’m late. Laziness and letting Virgil out. At least nothing’s on the floor.

Uh, your bed, food and water bowls, and bathroom spot. But you’re not there, Braxton. Trust me, I look for you every day. And what about the “puppy” next to me? Virgil’s “Gotcha Day” is coming up fast. The 13th, to be precise. Do I have any plans or money?

The most challenging period in my “life,” and I believe in yours too, was when I had to leave for the Day Job to earn money. And yet, it was never enough. That’s why I’m sitting here, scared. What, again?

But we’ll get to that. What about “Gotcha Day?” I don’t even remember yours, Braxton. I’m still stuck on the day you died. On that note, how’s Gabe? Have you met him wherever? I have no words for your aunt.

On top of mourning for her furry child, she has a lot on her plate. Me and V? I’m surprised we have anything on ours. We did share some fries and a burger. Was that his gift for coming into my existence? Hell, I don’t even want to be here myself, Little B. Never have

You wish I would stop saying that, right? What if I only meant it at the Day Job, B III? Over the past few days, I’ve been getting many congratulatory messages. I mean seriously, B.

Congratulations, Will, on wasting your existence here for thirteen years.

Well done, but you’re still sitting here in Hell, boy.

Yeah, you chose us over the life of your son. Way to go… Effing idiot.

I need to leave you alone. I need to leave myself alone. I need to leave Virgil alone as well. But the truth is, Braxton, I don’t want to be alone. I want to be with you, Virgil, and a pretty girl. I said maybe…

But here’s the thing, Baby B. I don’t want to be alone. And these days, I’ve been feeling more alone than ever. If anything, I’m being selfish. You’re looking after Gabe while I’m trying to support his mother with anything. I’m always starting something with Cherry, whether I intend to or not. And the things I’ve said to M Anime. Well, there’s a reason I broke down last night, Braxton. What? You have your toys, and I have Momokun’s Yabbos. It was the only moment 2-V had left me alone in days. He’s all Mr. Cuddles now, Dear B III.

Just Leave Virgil Alone Braxton

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 032 ~Virgil WRITES B’s Goodbye~

WE don’t write like I once did with B. He would sleep under the table while I would type away. WE don’t read like I once did with B. I don’t go and lie on the couch and try not to drop my device. And reading about pet loss… Virgil WRITES B’s Goodbye.

Friday, August 2, 2024

Meditation 032 ~Virgil WRITES B’s Goodbye~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or sing you a song? I would rather go back to sleep. Always. Yesterday was bad.

And I only write bad stories. Sad ones, at least. And so I remember the worst story I ever wrote. A bill for euthanasia, cremation, and my son, my boy Braxton, in a box. It still amazes me I can sweat over days like yesterday. The weather Sophia… Please! Hell?

That’s what I deserve, whether it be from embarrassment, Eros, or, again, B III’s euthanasia.

I’m just a “Sucker for Pain,” It’s what makes me a great $adist. The fact that I understand my ma$ochism. And I trying to fool any censors and the like. Like little Virgil? That’s TMI.

I haven’t had much private playtime. Not with Virgil, “my constant companion,” (rolls eyes) always by my side, even when I’m trying to write.

Even now, he’s lying here while I write a book review:

It Takes The Hardest Goodbye

To do what exactly? Heal? I won’t say I like this book. But who can say they like any book about dog loss? It’s good, needed, necessary, but no one wants to read them. Still, I did to the tune of three stars. I’m still reading things like this, and my fur buddy, my son, has been gone for three years. Titles like this blend together after you read enough of them. But the fact that I took a few quotes, here or there, to heart honestly says a lot. I know a few fur parents, and I could recommend better. But The Hardest Goodbye is a good starter book for anyone taking this long and lonely walk of loss.

Can I say, Sophia, for the record, that I’m absolutely livid with the Kindle App for removing this book from my list? It’s not like anything I’ve written or will. Will ever be seen… like for real. Ever! My works…

Sophia, I’m still working on “Sofía’s Nightmare,” And I “won” with my goal of 15,000 words for Camp NaNoWriMo. But each chapter only gets worse. What’s the last one without:

  1. Houkago Ren’ai Club ~Koi n Etude~ Casual Romance Club
  2. The Blackmail II: The Animation
  3. The V Games
  4. Slaves To Passion Hana Dorei
  5. Olivia Casta
  6. Dakota Skye

And there’s more…

But I should shut up and wonder how I’ll pay for the next crisis. Virgil’s fur is getting around everywhere. It’s like he’s leaving a trail of his presence, and I’m left to clean up after him. There’s always something. Hello! Virgil WRITES B’s Goodbye

1279 Days Without B III, Day 720 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 031 ~Virgil’s Month To B~

It’s the 1st of tha Month. And what do I have to show for it? Some new pictures? And they’re all not of Yabbos or the ones I want to see. Some old movies for a new story, with an even older habit. And getting a jump on being sad. Virgil’s Month To B.

Thursday, August 1, 2024

Meditation 031 ~Virgil’s Month To B~

1278 Days Without B III, Day 719 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Do you remember how long it would take to explain mine? Food, face plant, Fallout…

Here’s hoping. Explaining my existence… it’s like how the world comes to an end daily. A few things about that, Braxton. We both know when the world ended. Sunday, January 31, 2021, sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 PM. That should have been it for “US.”

Somehow, I’ve made it here. Today is Sunday, July 28, 2024. I just finished talking or “playing” with myself a few hours ago. Eww! I know. And you would do that stuff around your Aunt Augusta all the time. The only reason I got time was because it was raining.

So you know 2-V made a mess, and I sent him to your room. He can’t stand the rain, B.

Neither could during your time here. Our time together, Braxton.

Why am I so sad and sentimental at this time? I’m reasonably assured today sucks.

Braxton, what did I teach you about time travel? The first rule… DON’T! Then again, I gave you eternity, didn’t I? It’s my fault. But let’s focus on me and my other failures, not only those that sent you to your grave. It’s the “1st of tha Month.” July was the halfway point B III. Like not foreseeing your end, August offers me front-row seating to the oncoming second-worst day.

E-Day? That’s what woke me up to talk to you today. I had a nightmare about E-Day. And there was noise about Slaves to Passion. But that’s not for you. Neither was death or time travel. Still, I ask… What am I going to do?

Well, like most days, I hope that I’ll go in my sleep and I won’t have to reread this. That’s the only future I see most days. If only Virgil weren’t here. And that’s why you sent him here. To keep me from spoiling it all by saying something stupid like I love you. Ha!

My time following you… That’s not ending anytime soon. I’m letting you know I will worry about myself a lot more in the next couple of months; that’s all, Braxton. More like what my Olds, your grandparents will do with an almost forty-year-old bum. Yikes! Because I’m still sitting in this bed on a rainy afternoon with a conked-out Virgil preventing me from watching any Hent… Virgil’s Month To B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 025 ~ B’s Apocalyptic Bills Virgil~

Can you read? That’s an “at sign,” not a zero. Yikes! If the GOP gains control, people who aren’t them won’t have reading or math. Then again, I’m reading more books and losing more money. And women, children, and dogs… “B’s Apocalyptic Bills Virgil”

Friday, July 26, 2024

Meditation 025 ~ B’s Apocalyptic Bills Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… though I would prefer to have a heart attack and join Braxton. Read my car bill…

Well, I couldn’t at first and thought it read $1000.00. And that’s after the worker told me it was only $85.00. Remember to read your contracts, kids. But it was $85.00. Still with my cash… And that’s not all. There was a very yummy piggie potato, vittles, and V’s meds.

Needless to say, I feel like I’ve been through an apocalypse—or rather, a car dealership, two BBQ joints, and the pet hospital. So please excuse my tardiness, Lady Sophia.

Apocalypses in any way, shape, or form are welcome. I only figured I’d be riding it out with Braxton. Instead, most days, I’m outside, finding solace in the pages of Pierce Brown’s Morning Star. It’s my escape, my refuge from the chaos of life. And?

And what? “Waiting On The World To Change?” Virgil to learn bathroom etiquette. Book reviews…

Dystopian Girls Good FOUR What?

Well, for starters, four stars. Throw in a loyal dog, and it would be five-star worthy. And didn’t this one have a few dogs? Ah memories. Like how many wives Mason has. What are all the powers they wield? The battles fought. And victories won for the group. And even with all that, it’s the realism… That’s my favorite part. What does that make me? Hmm? Between every encounter Mason has with Stella. Or any of the other girls in his harem. And then the face-offs. Speaking of being face-to-face, I have “some.” friends… Here or there, I could get in on this series, knowing myself and my stance on the end of the world.

I find such comfort in books, Lady Sophia. Until I’m sitting in a waiting room while the car gets fixed. And I get interrupted. I didn’t even tell you about the humiliations galore I suffered at the front desk. A car dealership, a pet hospital, that time I was in junior college and had written about a girl… What waiting room will I find myself in next? And after what tragedy? Virgil is still very young. And regardless of everything, I won’t be explaining to someone why I can’t keep him. It would be like the end of the world. Isn’t that giving me too much credit? I need something because I’m not making money.

Writing and reading what I do. B’s Apocalyptic Bills Virgil

1272 Days Without B III, Day 713 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 024 ~Fur Armor, Braxton, Virgil~

If I want to “pray” to someone who may or may not listen, I talk to my fur buddies. I only trust one of them. I’ll stop being so down on 2V. But today’s fear has me looking to the Spirit In The Sky… B III. Eyes on the road. Fur Armor, Braxton, Virgil

Thursday, July 25, 2024

Meditation 024 ~Fur Armor, Braxton, Virgil~

1271 Days Without B III, Day 712 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I was up around 2:30 AM and had trouble falling back asleep. Two guesses why…

Virgil Vivi, 2V. Not to be confused with 2B from NieR: Automata. I was more into Houkago Ren’ai Club ~Koi no Etude~ this morning. Too much information, right? B III?

But you know your Old Man. When it comes to the day of a battle, I rely on you, my boy, my Braxton, some girl’s boo… airbags. Or buying stuff. Retail therapy, you know, B. I need you, Braxton. Your support means everything to me.

Honestly “He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,” is rewarding himself a piggie potato. Hell, I’ll bring fries back for Virgil as well. Okay, I’m not promising that. The little guy has been less than helpful, seeing how I’m still thinking about beautiful women and filling my belly.

Even the Bible. There was that whole “Armor Of God” spiel. All I ever needed was you, B. You would stand in front of me, beside me, and have my back. You were there. But as the song goes, “I need you right here, right now. Right by my side.” And why is that? Well, you see everything from where you are. You remain my little guardian angel, B III.

Why do I ask? Sigh…

I’m going to the auto shop today at the dealership. And I am afraid B. To be honest, I’m always scared, but today, with everything that’s been going on… Do you remember those weeks when I would have a bag of pizza rolls to see me through the week? Of course, you always had your food. But this week, Braxton…

I didn’t even make 40 bucks. And now the car could need fixing. And the idea of driving so far, my friend. You’re going to have me looking up every movie on courage. Iron Eagle comes to mind. Again why:

“I’m right there with you, don’t forget that.” Iron Eagle

Everything happens for a reason. Though I’ll never say that about when you passed B. Now that made no damn sense. But humans rarely do. Especially your human B III.

Again, Virgil needs to be helping. But he’s a reflection of me, not a reincarnated you. Braxton, you’re… you’re what I aspire to be. Brave, bold, always in bed and burying yourself in a girl’s… yeah, you know. I’ll be brave. Fur Armor, Braxton, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 018 ~Virgil’s B In Satanism~

Well, my greatest sin isn’t here. Do I really believe that? Well, I’m back to telling myself stories about demon women to sleep. Uh, I could pass out now. But Sloth beats Lust and Envy. And can be forgiven. Braxton being gone… Virgil’s B In Satanism.

Friday, July 19, 2024

Meditation 018 ~Virgil’s B In Satanism~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About my son, Braxton Barks. He’s part of my routine. There’s also Satan’s Sorority Girls 6, a book I finished reading some time last week. Witchy Yabbos

Do you know that song by the Transplants, ‘Diamonds and Guns?’ It’s a bit like my current existence, a chaotic mix of beauty and mourning. I’m more of a ‘Yabbos and Boys” type of creature, but lately, I feel like a Satanic entity. It’s like I’m heading to Hell. Without a doubt, Lady Sophia.

For what I did to my Braxton? Ignoring him, not listening, and his euthanasia… Sophia. I didn’t mean to get so down right then. But yesterday was a waste. I’m still reading ‘The Hardest Goodbye.’ And I’m so tired. I swear I am fighting off sleep when there is so much to do. Is it any wonder that most of the things I’ve been into this week revolve around death? There’s this movie I want to see, ‘Plan 75,’ a film that explores the complexities of life and death. I made a playlist from the ‘Twilight’ movies, which resonated with me in their portrayal of love and loss. Now Satanism because you know book reviews:

That’s Our “GRAY” Friend Sisters:

Another four-star winner, at least according to this sinner. Then again, nobody’s perfect. Well… Except for Grayson Price, according to his coven and the other. Is Grayson adding to the belt? The book’s greatest strength and weakness is in the following word: formulaic. You read enough Eric Vall books, and you see. Not that I’m an expert. This and Succubus Lord. But there’s reason the three scenes that stand out to me are Fiona and Gray, Robin’s shower scene, and Grayson getting both Julia and Tasha together. Mo getting a girl? I’ve already recommended Eric Vall’s works to one friend. And seeing how she’s into girls too… But one should be into comics. And not looking for twists and turns.

Ok, if I’m done talking about other writers… What about my writing? I did write over 200 words for “Sofía’s Nightmare.” I’m still working on a title. And that could be the thing, Sophia. I’m looking up monsters and all the world’s evils to avoid what I see in the mirror every day. Braxton is my greatest sadness. And being the hand that ended him. Well, that makes him my greatest crime. And I become the villain, the monster, or whatever. If I left this world, I have no doubt Braxton would follow me into the dark. Ok! Enough music.

What about Virgil? He’s back behind the gate as I lament about Braxton. My other sins are Lust, Sloth, and Envy. Virgil’s B In Satanism.

1265 Days Without B III, Day 706 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 017 ~Virgil, Rise, And B~

Rise and shine! I’ve been up since four. The only thing shining is the tip of my… Enough with the Yabbos. The sun’s behind the clouds. And my son is in a box. But he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. But can I rise out of this bed? Virgil, Rise, And B

Thursday, July 18, 2024

Meditation 017 ~Virgil, Rise, And B~

1264 Days Without B III, Day 705 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s only past six in the mornin’. Six in the morning? And my day, Braxton…

Well, it could be better. It’s the usual: wake up at four, and you’re not here. There’s Yabbos… My new morning routine. About twenty minutes after that, I take a shower. Next. Seeing how V and I are going to eat next week or today. Now I would like to join you. But V has… “reservations.” He “likes” being alive.

I didn’t even get to work on “My” novel earlier. There’s so much to do, Braxton. But you always found time to eat and “play” with your toys. I’m trying Braxton. It’s part of the reason I’m upset now. I wanted to start talking to you right at six. It’s always about time or routine. Huh! V doesn’t have that. When he was sick Tuesday, he was all cuddles, but…

He got better. Now what?

In Virgil’s case, he’s back behind the gate, sleeping on his pillow. Should I be making an effort? Look at the time. I was planning on taking a nap. Sigh! It’s seven now. But what kept me from going back to sleep? That’s not for you to know… Wherever you are, Little B. Knowing you can see everything now should be more than enough for me to be okay, Braxton. I was about to say to make our dreams come true. But your dreams, Braxton…

Food, food, and more food, am I right? Am what am I going to get up for today, Braxton? (Checks the grocery list.) Bread and water. What about milk? It’s summertime and all. I’m still here, Braxton. Always and Forever

Not rising for anything but Yabbos, taking Virgil outside, and what food I can scavenge.

I do not exist in a dystopia… yet. I’m writing one if I want to call it that. But the sun is up, the sky is blue… Nope! It’s light outside, and the sky is gray. But that doesn’t excuse me from getting up. Today’s pay that I got from last week was terrible. And this week, considering I’ve been here for around three days straight. The pay will be a lot worse. Because I won’t rise. Who am I, Batman? No. But I’m still your Dad, and I should know better. Forty is coming. And with the Olds and your “actual” aunt. I should, I must… Like I’m asking Virgil. Virgil, Rise, And B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad