Tale 094 ~Braxton and Virgil Re-created~

The only thing I wish… I wish a (bleep) would try banning books. I’m no book burner. When I find a woman and have kids with two legs. Books like Twilight and other dead things will come up. Me first… but I’m no monster. “Braxton and Virgil Re-created”

Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Tale 094 ~Braxton and Virgil Re-created~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so of course, you know we have a library. I hope I’ve added to it, love.

No promises since Braxton died. But today, Sunday, September 24, 2023, I will try, love. I am going to try really hard not to be negative. I’ve already talked to the Man In The Mirror, my son, and the Madam. And between all the meditation I’ve been doing today, sigh. Okay, I’m still trying. I only meant that the meditation has been Pomodoro working sessions to write. And I’ve been getting back into motivationals, only today for now, but it’s something. To be that man again… When Braxton was very much alive, and I’d write.

Furthermore, we’re talking today because I have a lot of work to do. (As if reading from a script…) and I am grateful for… some reason. Always my family, love.

And that we don’t live in a time of actual vampires… One of the reasons I wanted to try this is because, for most of the day, I’ve been avoiding the news. Books, Baby Girl. Billionaire scientists might be hard to come by. But doesn’t Warren Buffett read a ton? Anyway, this is where I got the idea for Re-creation; “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” I’ve finished reading that, but with Time Travel being this way… Now, how do I explain it? You know me and pop culture references. Remember Namor? How he brought the sun to his people in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. Beautiful. That’s me. I’m underwater, and at least for now, I need the facsimile of the sun.

Didn’t I say something about our children? They run around, grabbing hold of our legs. Like Braxton would once upon a time. And he’d even jump into my arms. Virgil? Different yes. He’s not Braxton’s reincarnation, Re-creation, or replacement… Never! Negativity? I’m still trying. V is a good furry kid. And, like me, he’s trying his best every day. Uh, here’s a question for you. Were you the Prom Queen ever? You know, The Rock? Anyway, when our children grow up, I’m sure Braxton will be pulling them up; love, wherever he is. I’d lay on him. He raised my spirits and mood. But other things rose when he laid on his aunt as I lay on you. From the dead? Braxton and Virgil Re-created

975 Days Without B III, Day 416 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 093 ~No Scar Is The Same~

“Cause it hurts when you hurt somebody.” And I don’t want to do that… That’s a lie. When it comes to certain people, pain is fun. But I never wanted to hurt B III, 2V, or scar people. And how’s that working out. Chicks dig scars? No Scar Is The Same.

Monday, October 2, 2023

Tale 093 ~No Scar Is The Same~

Three-Hundredth And Eleventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… This means I must always be hurting somebody. And yet, I’ll play the victim. But these scars…

Heart, Mind, Body, And Soul. I want to say I don’t have a heart. But a lie against B? Madam, I remember when they told me B had a Heart Murmur. I have his medications. And twice every day… at least once (sniffles), I call him for “Medicine Time.” But in the end, it was his kidneys that failed. I failed Braxton, my son, prince. Hell! The littlest God, Madam. And talk about not being healed or leaving a scar. A broken heart, 974 Days. Well, by the time you read this, anyway. I’m way in the past. With Time Travel, it’s Sunday, September 24, 2023. Still in the month of E-Day. Oh! You know we’re going to talk about that. And thirty-nine still sucks.

My head hurts. But the only scars I ever hear about came from my sister when she cut my forehead. Or whichever poor lady cuts my hair. As I don’t take care of myself, sigh. The real damage is my mind, though. Have you noticed how I talk to myself? Hell! The fact that I do talk to myself at all. And about what? How Republicans scar us all daily. My body, though. I’ve noticed… yeah I still have The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident tag. There’s also the memory of The Cherry Collision. What do I have in the closet, along with every outfit for potential partners? I call myself as a sadist. But I’m just a sucker for pain. And what about my soul?

Without Braxton’s death and the ninth circle, I’d be headed for the second with my LUST. This blog, The Pic Phenomenon, character customizations, lingerie purchases…

My poor Ma… from my mother’s womb, untimely ripped. A scar I’m sure she bares. Madam, that’s something I wish I could heal. Again, we’ve moved beyond E-Day for another year, but if I had my way… All I’ve ever done is cause her pain; I know it. Hmm. Then there’s my son, my granddad’s funeral, the fur baby I adopted. Virgil doesn’t cry… Not until I leave the house anyway. And for now, he must be bored out of his mind, poor guy. Me? Besides billionaire status, I’m worried and pained. So many scars… No Scar Is The Same

974 Days Without B III, Day 415 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 090 ~Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…~

Being in some car dealership’s waiting room. It beats being on the side of the road. Or worse places. I could be sitting on the couch and get a call that B is dying. Then, cradling him in the waiting room. Try reading… Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…

Friday, September 29, 2023

Tale 090 ~Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Ah? Do you like that? It’s a new intro I’m trying out for you, Lady Sophia.

Anyway, my story. Well, B’s story. Because Sophia, a day doesn’t go by without Braxton. His tale that is? See what I did there? I’m not trying to be funny. At 5:00 in the morning… “This is blasphemy! This is madness!” No. That was when I was sitting in Banfield’s “Waiting Room” for the word that my son would die. So much for any positivity today. Hmm? I’ve gotten back into listening to Motivational speeches… Only because I need audiobooks? Virgil, on the other hand? I should find him a chew toy shaped like a book so he’ll have something to do while he waits here. He doesn’t want to be left waiting all alone. Braxton’s room can be a scary place. So I’m assuming…

There’s no such thing as a comfortable waiting room. But we try desperately, Lady Sophia.

With books? Lady Sophia, I finished “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel” yesterday. That makes thirty-nine books this year. Again, being positive does not work for me. Being thirty-nine, E-Day, and breaking B III’s reading record, Sophia.

And as THEY say, a picture is worth a thousand words. So what was I doing last night with nothing to read? The Pic Phenomenon. I swear I saw this one girl and started going nuts. But did I… you know? Will I lie to you or myself? It usually ends up being both, ha-ha.

And taking my first break today, I was reading about how much having babies cost.

Only Lady Sophia, this bed is my waiting room. “When Will My Life Begin?” Existence?

It starts when I can pay my bills. I’ll have to drive the car to the shop this weekend. Again, I’ll channel those thoughts of how much it cost to tell me Braxton was dying. And then for them to do the deed. But Sophia, I always blame myself. And the Day Job, of course.

I should go to a doctor’s waiting room for myself. I can’t imagine my life without Braxton. I can’t recall a time I felt in good health either. I mean, when nothing is wrong, Sophia.

And my boys, both the dead and the living, are waiting for me… TO DO SOMETHING! Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…

971 Days Without B III, Day 412 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 087 ~Look Out B…Low Virgil~

Braxton would step on my face to wake me in the morning. A reason to stay on top of things like groomer appointments. Now I remember to look at the foot of the bed for V. Has the backyard fence fallen? Don’t Look Down? But then Look Out B…Low Virgil.

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Tale 087 ~Look Out B…Low Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But does that make up for me being less than 6′? 5′ 5″. And my enormous…

I’m in a randy mood. And also, I’m not a liar. Am I all cried out from Braxton today, hmm? Am I sweating bullets from whatever it is that will break next? Billionaires hate money? Yeah, that made me chuckle. But you don’t have to worry about me getting on a sub or going into space. As much as death… fascinates me. Drowning has to be one of the worst ways to go. And I gave up my astronaut aspirations so many years ago. Madness? Anyway, I’m not talking about Star Wars or Star Trek. You know I’ll obsess somewhat. No. That’s all saved for Braxton. But why am I looking down and not up? Plus, his box is still sitting here on the nightstand.

It was the same when he was alive. B was getting older, sicker, and dying, but I turned a blind eye to it. I mean everything. And then I caught his eye a certain way, and you know the song love. “When the walls come tumblin’ tumblin’ down.” And so it was with my firstborn. But what reminded me of Braxton today… As if I needed reminding, It was the freeloader. Virgil is one of our “children.” Okay, so I took him outside and came back in the house for something. Thirty-nine since E-Day, so forgive me, I’m old. Heading outside… Frightens me for all sorts of reasons. But today, Friday, September 22, 2023, it was the fence in the backyard. It doesn’t look right.

Hell! I haven’t looked right going on 968 and counting. I might fall anytime. Another reason I stay sitting in bed. And that’s not right at all, my love. What’s my Depression doing to our family? You can’t understand what Braxton’s death did to me. My boy always looked up or to the side because that’s where Daddy stays. And how did I reward him? By sending him to Hell? Because I know I’m not going anywhere else, baby girl. And I always like being warm. But can’t my wife’s arms or our children wrapped around my legs do the same? I cry, I throw money, and it’s only a matter of time before the fence finally falls. Cold and alone. Look Out B…Low Virgil

968 Days Without B III, Day 409 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 086 ~Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving~

I had a “phase” when I asked God to save me. There were those days I asked God to save B. Like the song goes, He’s My Son. And what about saving myself? “I’m the bad guy, duh.” I need saving from the radio. Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving.

Monday, September 25, 2023

Tale 086 ~Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving~

Three-Hundredth And Tenth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… so say it with me… You’re No Hero! I’m far from it. But Ma’am, I know one.

Okay… a few more. But I, as always, want to talk about my son, who was/is my hero. B. Be my hero… get it? Yeah, I’ve never been one for comedy as I’m not one to be brave ha. The comedian and caped crusader are dead. I wish I could add my cowardice, Madam. But no. My courage died alongside my son. And what about Virgil? He ain’t Braxton. Madam, my son was/is a big, brave dog… in spirit. What drew me to Virgil was the fact that I saw fear. I am my father’s son and don’t want to be um… scary. I mean, both Virgil and I are afraid to exist. But I saved him. What does that make me? A big hero, Ma’am. Ain’t we just. Firefly?

In case you were wondering where that bit of diatribe came from. Plus, censorship. Critics. One more reason I ain’t a hero and more like a Republican. Won’t I defend free speech? There’s plenty of which I should be fighting for every day. “It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving,” the song says. That’s why we need heroes and champions. I need my son. But when he needed me? Virgil needs me? A hero born and one in the making. What does it take, Madam? Daddies are heroes, or they should be. But with V. Hell, with existence in general? “Wish I’d been a prom KING, fighting for the title,” I swear this pop culture.

Because today, I would instead pay off a villain and possible racist in Logan Jacobs. Speaking with Lady Sophia this morning, I said I needed more audiobooks. Am I Wrong? This Is America. So that means, in one way or another, I’m paying off a racist somewhere down the line. And while I’m no Republican or one to stick to the status quo… yeah, right. I want to play the villain. Or should I say antihero, depending on your definition? I could say I’m giving myself too much credit since all I want, I’d do right here in bed. Madam, I want to write books, run a brothel, and make “specific” movies. Sheets become capes? For Braxton, myself, a wife? Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving

967 Days Without B III, Day 408 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 083 ~I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil~

So I can say I read the worst thing. The number 527. Braxton held the record at 526, as he was still in the world, but now? Now, I’m debating reading for Kindle Challenges. More books on dead fur babies. And… sigh, HaremLit. I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil

Friday, September 22, 2023

Tale 083 ~I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… No matter how many times I read that, it ain’t true. But I’m thirty-nine with E-Day…

One more reason I look like a Republican. No, I don’t mean with skin tone, ha-ha. I mean the fact that I hate “my” history. Again, I’m thirty-nine, and what have I done? Nothing! Hell! The past three years have been spent reading about how to bury fur babies. But I should check how many books I’ve read on that subject. And I’m not feeling my Kindle right now. Amongst other things, but we’ll get to that, Lady Sophia. I haven’t broken 161, hmm. But 527? Last night, while reading “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” I broke my record with Monsieur B. That started Wednesday, September 16, 2020. Sigh. Yes, I know the streak ended Wednesday, February 23, 2022. Wi-Fi failure…

But I still got to see a day when Braxton was in the world, and now that reminder is gone. So there I was last night. And I’m apologizing for “forgetting” my son again, Lady Sophia. Forgetting, of course, isn’t the right word, but critics… And speaking of which, why don’t I give them something to criticize for real? All the books that I’ve written and should be writing. But Day Job plus laziness? Look what time it is. I should have been up at four. And while playing around with the phone for a while. What was I reading? Instead, what was I looking at? It’s not like I could have any fun. Virgil gets to sleep here. No reading on the couch yesterday

Who knows? If Virgil gets fifteen years like Braxton. Only I’ll be sitting here ranting and raving about minimum wage, making a change, and turning a page in existence. Too late! My Lady, I’ll be forty next year, and what will I be doing regarding reading and writing? Which do you think is more pathetic? Reading about dead fur babies. Or, let’s say, women and elements of life? For now, I’ll stick with my Amazon book orders —except for Eric Vall. I’ve made it through his series again, and Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 isn’t an audiobook yet. I still think Logan Jacobs is racist to an extent with “Backyard Dungeon.” And what of the “HaremLit” I’m writing? Seriously, Cherry and Braxton would be upset —the characterizations. I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil.

964 Days Without B III, Day 405 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 080 ~Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts~

“You knock me off of my feet, now baby,” or “Take My Breath Away.” When I see a pretty girl, it’s more like Sade’s “Smooth Operator.” But there was when I first saw Braxton. When he died, it was “Song Unsung” Beautiful. Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

Tale 080 ~Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But one of the last things I would buy would be a mirror. Other than Mondays…

My love, I’d shave on Mondays when I had the old Day Job and wouldn’t bother looking into a mirror the rest of the week. How do THEY say… Money can make anyone beautiful. Right? Or should I say white, “right,” in a GOP way? I can’t avoid the ugly. Well, unless I’m crying about my boy. Next to you, Braxton, is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m being honest. Why do you think I stayed out of my “business” when he was around? I have seen angels three times in my existence. I’m not counting the Victoria’s Secret catalog -being young. I’ve mentioned thirty-nine sucks continuously? Anyway, there was the day I buried an angel. I married one. Then you birthed ours.

And it hurts. Heaven help me, it “Hurts Like Hell.” Every day, I fight to keep my eyes closed. And ain’t that a sin? I’ve sung it before and’ll say it again, “Feeling super, super, super suicidal.” But why when “There’s so much beauty in the world. I feel like I can’t take it.” “My” critic was telling me today, Sunday, September 17, 2023. I use too many pop culture references. And why don’t I use “my” own words? They are too damn ugly. And so I surround myself with beauty. My dame, dimes, dependents (our children), and death… well, only B III’s. “Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse,” I read. Stopping his heart couldn’t erase my Braxton’s beauty. I See Fire…

Or rather Braxton’s ashes sitting in a box on the nightstand or the pendant around my throat. Which I’m surprised your hands haven’t found… yet. Or am I your “pretty monster,” as in Tillie Cole’s book Jegudiel? There is beauty everywhere, my love, I know. And for how long now… 961 days, I’ve been searching. No! You’re here, our kids. Dealing with the Rebeccas the first time I saw Virgil. Hell! Seeing Braxton years ago. Love, I say it was love at first sight, but I was so blind to it back then. I guess I am now, but I’m trying. Braxton, the first billion, and the painting Backwards Beauty. It all nearly killed me. “What A Heavenly Way To Die.” Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts.

961 Days Without B III, Day 402 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 079 ~Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings~

I’ve kept V alive for 401 days. B had 15 years. Now, what made B happy? Comfy spots, cuddling with his Aunt’s Yabbos, and counting the minutes until his Dad arrived home. I survived 15 E-Days with him. But Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings.

Monday, September 18, 2023

Tale 079 ~Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings~

Three-Hundredth And Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… But I have seen that billionaires are the cringiest, crabbiest, and crappiest people. They don’t die. Submarine…

So does that mean I want to be happy? Today, Sunday, September 17, 2023, I long to die, Madam. It will be no different by the time you read this. But “Love and Happiness,” huh? Love died with my little boy, my Braxton. And Happiness? The seventh E-Day. I think. I survived that one and the thirty-ninth, too. Somehow, someway, I’m surviving. But for what? As I told Lady Lunalesca yesterday. Pop culture has been bouncing around inside my head. “My” Existence is a mix of 2009’s The Road, Half-Life 2, 1984, and Equilibrium. Sigh. As the song plays, “I keep asking God what I’m for. And he tells me, “Gee, I’m not sure,” sigh. I’m doing a lot of that, Madam. I’m still breathing.

So, shouldn’t I show some gratitude? That’s not one of the meditations I’ve done today. And I got enough gratitude with those motivational speeches I once played daily. Ha-ha! From wanting to move forward in this existence. To seek only the will to endure. Endure and Survive? But don’t plan on being happy for the love of everything, Madam. Hell! I love Braxton like pancakes, but he didn’t make me happy. I was/am proud of him, Madam. I was a Papa. I pounded the pavement of this existence. That’s because I promised him that I would keep him safe. And here I go, crying again because how’d that turn out? Madam, with all the stories I tell myself. Braxton didn’t die happy. Brave, proud, loved…

But Happy… That’s a question I don’t ask the Man in the Mirror anymore. I don’t ask how to survive either, to be fair. It’s what I do? It’s like that fable “The Scorpion and the Frog.” But neither of them survived? One more reason I’m so “in love with dyin’,” as it were. “We are The Walking Dead,” “We are the Dead,” and that’s how it is, Madam. Life, Living, Love? No! Every day, I rise from the dead. And I move like everyone else towards… I don’t know. But zombies, the infected, and the stupid. Viruses Madam. Stupidity has infected me. And the cure? One day, I’ll find out, Madam, if I survive. Do I want to? Knowing Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings

960 Days Without B III, Day 401 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Do you remember reading about Carlee Russell? And what about the stuff she was reading? As for me… what do you do when someone leaves their cash at the ATM? Where do Miranda Rights come from? But I’m not a thief… of money… Virgil And Miranda, B.

Friday, September 15, 2023

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Or maybe I would be if I were another stupid thief. A member of the GOP?

But I would rather not read about them. Another old GOP white guy escaping punishment? And I’m not Hunter Biden, either. No, Sophia, as the song goes, “Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.” And while I’m busy singing, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Braxton’s Daddy is always a black man. And in America, what’s even worse. Stupidity? Uh, no. So why didn’t I get stupid today? Existence is either a porno or a crime, Sophia. I saw some ladies outside of Walmart today. And I immediately began rehearsing a script from “Street Blowjobs.” Or “Blacked?” Anyway, existence has been taxing, sigh —a week after the thirty-ninth E-Day. And Braxton’s been gone 957 days. “Just Another” day.

At least I’m not in a jail cell. And Virgil isn’t learning to read “Miranda Rights.” He won’t be hearing about vampires either. I know, I know, Lady Sophia. You’re asking what did I do today. Instead, it’s what I didn’t do. But I was talking to Braxton’s Aunt. So…

I’m at the ATM waiting to be broke again. Sophia, I drive up and see the cash tray is open. “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all!” I don’t know how much money was there, but FREE MONEY! Now, we’ve all heard this question. If you found a million dollars in the street, would you take it? Yes! But my Ma didn’t raise no fool. Well, she did. But like most women, she’s into those crime shows, ha-ha.

Why am I not a killer? Well, that’s a lie. I know you’re sick of reading this. I killed Braxton. Anyway, with people, I’d never get away with it. The same with thievery. Cash money. ATMs have cameras and all sorts of security. Who knows what might have happened if I had run off with that money? Uh, jail? Desire is desire. And yet, today, I didn’t steal a thing. Stupid! As I said, what would some of the ladies do outside of Walmart for the right price in their desperation? And speaking of women, what will I download today that I haven’t paid for? I know a few people who own rather unscrupulous software. Criminality Sophia? But Virgil needs me? Virgil And Miranda, B.

957 Days Without B III, Day 398 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 073 ~Hi Sugar, B, V~

“Suga, Suga, how you get so fly?” And how come I’m not always high with your beautiful smile, bright eyes, and big… Anyway, I’m always in the dirt looking for my boy. Well, looking at his box on the nightstand. And with a 39th E-Day. “Hi Sugar, B, V”

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Tale 073 ~Hi Sugar, B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how did I do it? Sleepless nights? A sugar high? And… uh… SEX, SEX, SEX!

Yeah, damn, my critic who didn’t talk to me today. Are you becoming “The Time Traveler’s Wife?” Today is Saturday, September 9, 2023. And I’m on a sugar rush, hmm? You can also thank the likes of Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku, specifically Hisato Azuma. That sex talk comes from her. Relax, my love, it’s all part of this existence. Am I in a better mood than I was during E-Day week? The second worst week of existence? Done! But really? My firstborn son is still dead. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about my little Braxton not being here. As a matter of fact, I’ll have to get up soon to cut the grass. Aren’t we rich? Fresh air. To think…

Once upon a time, I got high off nature. That’s what today is all about —not raising my spirits. And more to the point, staying awake. But if anything, I MUST get out of bed. Mission Accomplished! But today is now Sunday, September 10, 2023. And I did cut the grass yesterday. And while I believe that pain wakes me one hundred percent. Thank you, Divergent. Being all itchy doesn’t help. All the bug bites in the world, my love. Yesterday, I still went out like a light. That’s why we’re talking today. Not Saturday. Really, “Sweet Love?” It’s more like sweet blood. Mosquitos seem to think so, my love. And speaking of love, isn’t that what gets you up? Love for them and me.

Do I sound like some Neanderthal who thinks “A Woman’s Place” should be about her husband and children? I saw that video the other day from Julia Mazur about singlehood. It’s a miracle you haven’t left me yet, and why? Depression, sadness, mourning 954 Days. Honest to God, my love, “I get high, high, high.” Or I did because of Braxton. And so I’m singing and ignoring my critic, “I’d never leave my block, my niggas need me.” I’m here. I stand, I’m sweet, I’m a damn superhero because of our children, four and two-legged. Sexual Healing? And I have my incredibly sexy wife. You’re my sugar, keeping me up. Hell! My life’s blood is my business. But my firstborn’s higher… Hi Sugar, B, V

954 Days Without B III, Day 395 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will