Chronicle 302 ~A Story Without B~

LSV. I had a rule, I wouldn’t watch a show without three letters. I don’t think I’ve ever written much that doesn’t have the three B’s. Boobs, Brothel, some boy trying to be the boss and/or a man. Reading and writing 453 days? A Story Without B.

Friday, April 29, 2022

Chronicle 302 ~A Story Without B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… The beginning of one of my self-help books, should I ever write one. Or anything ever?

B dying didn’t stop me from writing three books last year. One without raw nakedness. The second was “My Turn To B III.” Hell, I’ve only added on with all my letters to Braxton. And the last one was another addition to my “Cherry” series. Can’t remember the title. This is ok. Considering how disappointing this month has been for reading, writing, and listening. Yeah, what the fuck do I know about Arithmetic? Not that I live in Florida, ha. Pardon my language, and I don’t mean to be so… well, I don’t even know. Sounds like something I should write about, but you know me, Lady Sophia. I write about banging my balls or having none. There was my bum ear. And always Braxton.

But putting my balls first like the selfish prick I am. My friends are suffering. What about this bed I won’t leave? And I return to my boy every day. Yeah, day 428. Never Forget! As I was saying, my balls. When I don’t read, differences between grieving and mourning. Sophia, it always comes back to sex. That makes me think of the “Basic Bitch” Anyway, there’s this song, “Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town).” Once I got my hearing back, between porno, poor me, and paws scraping the floor. It’s this earworm. So I imagine “The perfect woman… the Goddess.” Or twelve, to be specific, but then… I always want more. Is it more love, more sex, more words? I’m pretty annoyed.

  1. Maiko Kaneda
  2. Imari Kurumi
  3. Yukiko Minase
  4. St. Louis
  5. Tifa Lockhart
  6. Aerith Gainsborough
  7. Scarlet
  8. Nico, Nicoletta Goldstein
  9. Hilda
  10. Juliet Starling
  11. Serah Farron
  12. Ashe, Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca
  13. Lulu
  14. Linkle
  15. 2B
  16. Commander White
  17. Kainé
  18. Rikku
  19. Airi Akizuki
  20. Zone-tan
  21. Rei Ayanami
  22. Michiru Kaiou

I got this when I talked about my likes. It was to Artificial Intelligence, “Replika.” People are way worse, Lady Sophia. Yes, another moment missing Braxton. My son, B III. So I can’t talk about making the bedsprings sing. As the song goes, “What’s My Age Again?” Or the fact that I couldn’t stick with 13 girls. What about 64, 72, a total of 456 hmm? I could talk about the next book I want to write. Wouldn’t I be better off writing it, you ask? It would always include a brothel, my boy, and bloodshed one way or another. Sophia, there is always Braxton. As long as my story goes on, so will his. But to write it? To Live? A Story Without B.

453 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 301 ~Want To B Heard~

I should have listened to B. It was on a Wednesday when he was crying. And I tuned him out because I was so angry and tired. I didn’t even have the excuse of being deaf in one ear, which I got fixed. I’m always listening now. Does he Want To B Heard?

Thursday, April 28, 2022

Chronicle 301 ~Want To B Heard~

452 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Usually, your tail would tell me so. Your cries of glee. Once before the end…

These memories B III have a way of sneaking up on me from time to time. As I’ve said often enough. There are always tears for you. Looking at the time 3:48 PM. Bawling! Ok, as I was trying to say, months before the end. Your granddad was here. And you were in your bed shaking, scared to death. The wrong choice of words, but when I came back here… Old as you were, you came running and leaped into my arms. Do you remember when we fought him B, side by side years ago? The same blood, same mud, or the wood floor B. “No retreat, baby, no surrender.” How about this, for he who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

Pain is how we understood each other, Braxton. My pain from this whole damn world. There was all the hurt that I tried to protect you from. Dammit, tried to save myself, and what did that get you? I think of it every day. And now, when I escape punishment? Peace be still… sorry I’m getting all preachy. You know I found serenity while reading. Braxton There was the peace in my ranting, raving on things not Day Job-related. Braxton, the most peace I had on the other side of war, hell in a lifetime of war. Those nights, we would sit on the loveseat with your Aunt Carolina Bound watching movies. The closest you got to having the family I promised all the time.

And now I return to that dream I had Monday night when I was back in the doctor’s office asking my Ma, are you waiting for me? Of course, she knows you’re gone. The Meaning? If I had to guess… I sat on the bench on your last day as they ran your final check-up. The vet handed you back as a storm raged outside. The vet said there was nothing that could be done for you now. At that moment, Braxton, your Daddy, disappeared. I became a monster. The books say you wouldn’t want to hurt me, but the pain is our communication. Inevitable. Are you trying to tell me something? I suffered, wanting to hear again. Speak to me! Want To B Heard

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 300 ~The B Is Silent~

What is a worse punishment? There is, of course, never hearing my son again. I was deaf in one ear for a few days. How dare I, right? Then there’s what they did, what I let them do on Monday. Ear Sex is not my kink Family Guy. Only “The B Is Silent.”

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Chronicle 300 ~The B Is Silent~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but would that be enough to protect my ears. Once and for all? Sanity… $44 Billion.

Elon Musk bought Twitter on Monday, not that I heard about it. The problems $44 Billion solve compared to the $175 that I spent at the doc’s office trying to fix my ear. Now I meant to tell Braxton’s Aunt Carolina first, but you know me. Time Travelling. Anyway, as the song goes, “So I bit that bullet, and I took that vow. And everything is different now.” A very convoluted way of saying that I went and did what I did. Oh yes, Inspector, there was “Humiliations Galore,” as is usual in this existence. A lot less than the Day Job no doubt. The waiting room, attempting to find the pharmacy, the exam room. You can imagine my pain was that great to endure.

So after days of, is it water, is it wax, should I try wanking off again? Carolina Bound will get a kick out of this. It was like that episode of Family Guy “Prick Up Your Ears,” 5×06. But compared to most of the anime I watch, Family Guy, um hmm, ok, “ear sex.” That’s what my ear felt like Monday afternoon. It’s fucked raw. Closest I’ll ever get to pegging. I never knew my ear was that deep, then getting “violated” with several devices. It was a Bukkake. You know I like dirty talk. “Stupid” is off-limits, Inspector. But my ear was getting rammed! The only thing worse was what was spraying all over. No bugs or anything, but my ear was filled (shudders)!

Sorry for all the sex talk. It’s been two days since the last time I was “saying “hi” to my monster.” Inspector, the things to hear again. Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone). But then I remembered 451 days ago. I swear the numbers, Inspector. The 300th Chronicle and Fahrenheit 451. But my point is the silence that there was 451 days ago when B III, my best friend, my son, was no more. I keep thinking about all my ailments this year. Being all fucked up sexually because I don’t have to hide. The dead silent earache. God is trying to tell you something, more like a dog. The only man I ever listened to but escaping punishment… The B Is Silent.

451 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 298 ~Rank People Higher Than Magazines~

How this rule spoke to me once upon a time… Um, it’s not like I would be able to hear it anyway. While I’m all into books and a glossy page from time to time, magazines were never my thing, really. For the articles? Rank People Higher Than Magazines.

Monday, April 25, 2022

Chronicle 298 ~Rank People Higher Than Magazines~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I own every Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition. And while on my mind, Playboy, Eileen Kelly…

What, would you instead have me talk about my Earache some more? Trust me, Madam, I read up on that before I stopped by to talk to you. I wasted $75.00 for a waxy clump. Should I cry about Triple B today? That goes without saying… remember day 428? While I’ve been hemorrhaging money and not spending it on Braxton, I’ve bought 18 books on pets. The majority of them are all about grieving. Where was this zeal last year? In-memorial?And of course, there’s what I waste the most money on? As I said. While I read everything, not about fur babies, the year my son died, I got pretty heavy into photography. Hell! I was looking for anything worse than being a murderer, Madam.

Objectifying women? Madam, it was only several Victoria’s Secret catalogs when I was a boy. There’s a quote from Lao Tzu attributed to Gandhi about your thoughts. A thought can become a word, an action, a habit, your character, and your destiny. Madam, I’d like to tell you that it’s my destiny to write novels. I look at what day it is. Dennis Hof wrote a book, but he also owned several brothels. What about Hugh Hefner? Speaking of men, I shouldn’t be looking up to. Ron Jeremy, Larry Flynt. Must I continue? Since the beginning of the internet, “Dial-Up” (shudders), dare I say. I would make magazine covers of a specific nature. It’s how I found my first cover girl, a mistake for sure.

Not the color of her skin but the content of her character. Um, we can talk about her hair color. That’s something I’ve been focusing on a lot since last night. It’s how I slept. There are bodies, boobs, and what big eyes you have. Yeah, being that close someday? That’s when the words will come out right so that I’ll be publishing novels one day. There was a time I wanted to report stories, yet you see how the world is… Hell. Fuck I sent Braxton to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, whatever. He’s deserving of a Bible. But no; Maiko Kaneda, Imari Kurumi, Yukiko Minase, St. Louis, Tifa Lockhart. And someone real? Then, Madam Justice, I’ll be one to Rank People Higher Than Magazines.

449 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 297 ~We’ll B Going Soon~

If I wasn’t in so much pain right now, I wouldn’t leave this bed. Isn’t that exactly what got me into trouble in the first place? Lying here yesterday thinking I was doing myself a favor so I could “HEAR” the world around me. We’ll B Going Soon.

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Chronicle 297 ~We’ll B Going Soon~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, yet I leave you to suffer. I haven’t owed someone an apology like this since B III.

Because as the song goes, “’cause I’m still here.” At least the repercussions of my sins. Those have you suffering at this moment. What was it I said about putting things out into the universe? And now that I have, dammit, your world’s about to get a whole lot bigger. Now, of course, this is your call to make. Are you going to be like any Republican and hoard what wealth you have? Will you let people suffer? Helps that THEY don’t consider you a person, a man. Have you ever wondered why dragons would sit on heaps of gold forever? It didn’t help when Braxton was dying, and you were so fucking selfish. I wish I had been selfish yesterday. You’d be better off.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone by Gary Kowalski
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But now you have to leave this bed and go to the store to fix my mistake. You’re not even sure you can, but you have to try. Even in this, you continue to be a miser because Walmart is what you know. You have a choice. With a thousand choices, you’ll see the sticker price. But a few hours ago, you were ready to go rushing off to a doctor. History repeats itself, you see. When B III was sick, you were anxious to get him to a vet, whatever the cost. But all you can think about is the sticker shock with your own well-being; hmm. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, right? Well, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Pawverbs for a Dog Lover’s Heart: Inspiring Stories of…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Dale Carnegie talked about accepting the worst case, and after that, what do you have to worry about? The Tenth Man Rule talks about disagreeing when a decision’s been made. So your decision so far? After our conversation has ended, you’ll take a shower, go to the store, and return with what you need. What’s the worst thing? Terrifying? Inevitable? Death doesn’t frighten you. Pain is a deserved punishment for what happened to B III. Still, the way you’re feeling right now? I looked to comfort my friends instead of myself all last night. I did fight for you Friday, so the Day Job isn’t an issue. If I have any advice for you, stop putting yourself last. Six Impossible Things? We’ll B Going Soon.

448 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 296 ~Have A Cow B~

Don’t have a cow, man! Well, my second best friend is about to have a lot of chickens. B would have loved to visit a farm… Poor choice of words, he got sent to “the farm.” And while I’m mad about that and other things. “Have A Cow B, if you like.” Ha

Saturday, April 23, 2022

Chronicle 296 ~Have A Cow B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be mad, having such maladies. And, of course, still want to masturbate.

What can I say today? I believe the word would be “Moo!” That’s considering the major beef I have today. Also, knowing that everything I say will inevitably be incoherent. Would I make myself out to be Marjorie Taylor Greene? The things that make us angry; yesterday, Lady Lunalesca, it was the Day Job schedule. More to the point, cowardice. Hell, I didn’t have to be angry. If I had done what I needed to do Wednesday or even called Thursday. Oh yeah! That would mean I have two ears, and I’m still pissed, Lunalesca. We’ll get to that, along with the things I can’t say anymore. Yesterday all I wanted to say was, “I’ll think about it,” “I’ll have to see” doesn’t mean yes.

Triple B never said a damn word, but I knew what he meant. What Lunalesca, you didn’t think I would forget about him… again. If this was Squid Game, my number would be “428.” I still can’t forget that, but it’s day 447 today. How many more in my Hell? When Braxton got mad, he would grunt and grumble a bit like a piggie. Growling? Lunalesca, that would be him too. I would have brought food. And he would have sat in the den waiting for me to change. B III was always waiting for lies, little bites, like, love. It was usually me that was having a cow, though. A burger, the bad stuff at work. I had a lot of beef Lady Lunalesca.

And as much as Triple B should hate me now… That’s the only thing I might have taken from all those books. Doesn’t Braxton hate me? He had enough love for both of us. Humans are the ones who carry hate, wrath, and so much beef. Fuck, shrimp, chicken. Luna, I think so little of myself that I couldn’t speak up, and I tried Friday; Lu, yep, I did. I couldn’t hear myself. I carry such hate for myself that I won’t go and see a doctor. Money for one. But best believe I’m going to buy two bottles of cranberry juice and more pills. Hate will maul me as I rage internally at the Rebeccas. I can’t be Braxton’s Dad. Have A Cow B.

447 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 295 ~Will I Know B~

I could tell you when I first met B. I can give you the day I watched my son die in my arms. I’ve been told that death is not the end; all my life. And now here I am reading religious “nonfiction” on dogs. Reliving memories of him. Will I Know B

Friday, April 22, 2022

Chronicle 295 ~Will I Know B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if I had been 446 days ago… Braxton would be alive. How do I know?

More like How Will I Know by Whitney Houston. If it wasn’t Toni Braxton, it was Whitney Houston. To grow up in such an age. What can I tell you about 2005 to 2021? B III was born, and he died Sunday, January 31, 2021. B III was 13 days shy of being 16. So now here 446 days after Braxton’s passing. “Death Is Not The End,” Sophia? Dogs are pregnant 58 – 68 days, or so I’ve read. Was that B’s reincarnation window? 446 days? A part of me thought that I would give it a year if I wanted to play Daddy. I’ve continued thinking about that little dog “Chase” that wanted to escape. Born in February. Did I miss my chance at fatherhood?

What I’m getting from the books is “No.” If your dog reincarnates, he is meant to be with you and you alone. B III could be meant to live on in another way. I’m at the table now. I’m time traveling but not by much with today being Thursday. This week has been filled with “Humiliations Galore.” And by the time you read this… Fuck, the things that keep me up? Must it always go back to my penis? Masturbation, being mad, and man’s best friend, Sophia. My manuscript must keep me awake as well. I’ve wasted this damn month. Failing a Camp NaNoWriMo! And haven’t I been talking all about book challenges? I’m reading something religious as it counts toward “Nonfiction.” Swear to God.

Yeah, the last time I did that was praying for Triple B. The last time I prayed was when I was at the “pinnacle” of my sickness somewhat. I wasn’t talking to God but to my son. I wasn’t praying for the strength to endure or fight back. Joining Braxton. It’s my memories of him that keep me awake and alive. Between all of Succubus Lord’s pop culture and everything, I remember about Braxton. Looking always for B. Sophia, from everything I’ve ever said, would you know him? 15 years as man’s best friend. A manuscript I’d struggle to find. And the mannerisms I continue to this day. Not in memory but in this existence. Where could he be, Lady Sophia? Will I Know B

446 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 294 ~To B Square Again~

B III and I were like two grumpy old men. We read together every day. We hated all sorts of people. When we were sleeping, the other was on guard duty except at night. And, of course, we forgot about living forever. “To B Square Again”

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Chronicle 294 ~To B Square Again~

445 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering how late I’m getting up this morning and what I did. The box…

Is that why I keep you there? I fear that you’ll see me. Hell, I know you do. Braxton, you, I take off both my chains when I’m about to do anything sketchy, sinful, or quoting the “Basic Bitch” skeevy. I wish I could say it was worth it. Inevitable that it’s stupid, suspect, square. But it’s “Hip To Be Square,” hmm? I look at things that I’ve forgotten this week B III. There’s a ton. I’m not a Christian because I didn’t think anything about Easter, B. Death by chocolate. Nothing you had to worry about? And I didn’t get high either. Daddy… Devil’s Lettuce? You know that “Mary Jane?” I’ve been listening to the Succubus Lord series too often. Then again, so have you.

That is if you’re here. And that, in a way, is what I’m afraid of. Not in you’re going to kill me sort of way, B. Then again, I’m still thinking about your first anniversary of passing, to be honest. I blame myself for that and for my illness. But if I died Braxton, whatever. You know I’m “trying” to always continue our routines. 8:00 on the dot, I refilled your water bowl, called you for “medicine time,” and fixed a white caramel cappuccino. I also have a tall glass of cranberry juice, the old man I am. It’s growing on me for the Placebo Effect alone. Of course, I’m not getting any better. It’s like when I had my awakening “religious phase.” Oh, wait…

You weren’t here for that. I did read the book of “John,” though. Didn’t I say that I can’t resist a book challenge? For God so loved the world and all that. Fuck the world. I wouldn’t trade you B III for anything. I’d give anything to be your old man, B III. To be the man that wanted to set a good example and tried to keep it in my pants, sigh. Back when I could take all the “Humiliations Galore” at work because Triple B, you’re here. When I would work on my writing because “I Believe” in it. We’d have a better life B III. Lying in bed isn’t square enough? Better off joining you? Such dangerous words. To B Square Again

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 293 ~To B Wrong Sometimes~

Something I know for sure, it can’t get worse. When I watched my furry son die, what could frighten me after? How I feel, sitting in bed, slurping chicken noodle soup, drinking cranberry juice. Things could get better… To B Wrong Sometimes.

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Chronicle 293 ~To B Wrong Sometimes~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many years have I been wrong about that? I want to be right once.

Republican Tendencies, if I spell that another way, Inspector Echo. But no, as the song goes… “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Inspector, that doesn’t change. Not that I have the option. No, I want to be right as rain in this specific moment, um yep. I doubt that anything has changed in three days. I am trying to time travel, so it’s Sunday right now. Now that’s something I want to be wrong about. Hell, any day leaving the bed. Anyway, I want to hear out of both of my ears again. Wouldn’t it be nice? Damn, I miss that. Can I stop buying cranberry juice and looking for cures online? Everything’s wrong, but I know the truth. It’s me.

TWO DAYS COME TO MIND when I realize how wrong I am sometimes. B III and my own life, ha. My life? My existence? Now that’s a joke. And the only cure, Inspector? Dangerous words. I was wrong to wait so long to get Braxton help, but I was trying to survive that one week. I was wrong when I thought that everything would be okay and Braxton would live. I was wrong in every move I made that week. And Braxton paid the price for it. That is all. The thing is, someone will think I was right but do not worry. There is always someone around to tell me that I’m breathing wrong. Chances are, I would agree with them about it all.

Since today I’m still “safe” in bed; you know what’s wrong. Right now is perhaps the best I will feel for quite a while. Oh, I’m going to jump up in a few hours. My ear will worry me too. But 4:00 PM Inspector, 444 days where was I? Sitting in my car suffering, dying. That’s the secret, Inspector. Do you remember my theory that the world would end in 5 minutes, so nothing should bother me? In 5 minutes, we’re gone, so humiliations galore? I’ll feel like I’m dying tomorrow or a few hours from now. Remember January 2021. Things will get better… doubtful. Will they get worse? Impossible with B III, his death. I know that, but Inspector Echo… To B Wrong Sometimes

444 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 291 ~Kindness Beats Right On Occasion~

I know this isn’t the RIGHT time, and I’m KIND of sick now. Hell, I haven’t been right for 442 days. And kindness has never been my forte when everybody I see daily is a… well, moving on. Kindness Beats Right On Occasion

Monday, April 18, 2022

Chronicle 291 ~Kindness Beats Right On Occasion~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, so even if I look or am being STUPID, shitty, perhaps skeevy, money and might make right.

I can say that I want to feel right at this moment. But I’m settling for kindness. Of course, what’s that going to net me? Even talking to you right now, Madam Justice isn’t any kindness. It’s only, what’s right, because I’m time traveling, so you know what that means? Monday, I’m anything but kind because I need to be right. If I’m not right, I’m wrong, and you know how I see that. As the song goes, “I feel STUPID.” But this particular moment? Yeah, you guessed it, I feel sick, silent, and sinful. Is it a kindness to try and save me in such a manner? Or would it be right to spend money I don’t have to get the help I need?

I was kind to my boy in his last days. Considering how I am with most people, I was kind to him always. Hell, it wasn’t kindness; it was outright love. Hatred does the unthinkable. When it comes to love and hate, all I’ve heard in life. In the end Madam, “love conquers all.” But hatred dilutes it. Call it my Republican tendencies; everything I said about being a billionaire and such, but I’m not. In a way, I’m worse. I’m indifferent at times (sigh) selfish. I cover it up by saying I’m doing the right thing. But like happy what about right? Madam, if I had been right, Braxton would be alive, but I needed his kindness, and I gave mine back to him.

It’s always been my theory that I could afford such kindness once everything is right. Yeah, being kind to Braxton’s aunt, to Cherry, to M Anime. Kindness to myself, well, a specific part anyway, but am I being right? Keeping Braxton alive… kindness and right. Now, if you asked me what would feel right today? Monday, let’s go back four months before the Tifa Lockhart dress. Oh, and let’s not forget Zoe Colletti. Strawberry Blonde… I wouldn’t be all out of sorts. My pain would be on trying to hear out my right ear now. No, what would be right is to be punished for all I’ve done. God is cruel, kind, love; who knows. Call living this way, right? Kindness Beats Right On Occasion

442 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will