Meditation 243 ~I WARMED Braxton, Virgil~

How hot is this computer with the writing I’ve been doing? There’s women… Anime and REAL… And I worry with every push of a button or beep. But when did I get the Wi-Fi fixed? And how much money am I burning? Living sucks… “I WARMED Braxton, Virgil”

Saturday, March 1, 2025

Meditation 243 ~I WARMED Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now—or I promised my Braxton I would be someday—1490 Days ago. But my money’s looking…

Let’s say the money is burning a hole through my pocket. But that’s not what has me heated today. I’ve been hot since Thursday. And it’s not at me this time, for my B III.

It is my greatest sin what happened to him. But give me one bad person, and that’s four days of my life ruined until I confront them… If I choose to do dear Lady Lunalesca.

My Braxton was a force of nature, like a dinosaur… And my problems were like those big asteroids. Ha-Ha. I still remember back in 2021, the very week he left me, I was in a rage from the Day Job. Lady Lunalesca, all I could do was wrap Braxton up, hold him close, and sleep. I’ll spare Virgil. But you?

You get to hear about one of my managers. So, I was leaving the Day Job on Thursday, February 27, 2025, and saw her standing there. I did two training videos due the next day, with a third that wasn’t urgent, to which another manager agreed to let me skip. But even then, the Day Job found a way to frustrate me. No shocker, huh?

When the manager I saw asked about the videos, I told her what I had done. And even when I told her the dates of the videos I’d completed, she was downright rude. Lunalesca… sigh.

I’ll be thinking about her nasty attitude and orders for the rest of the weekend. Well, that’s a lie, isn’t it? I don’t have Braxton to cuddle with, and Virgil and I are still. Whatever.

Lunalesca, the things I do…

Didn’t I say I wasn’t mad at myself? But the Day Job has a way of making me feel guilty. What better way is there to cool off Than watching a model strike a pose to Young Mooski’s Purge Siren [Instrumental]. It’s how the model moves her long brunette locks.

Anyway, add pictures of Cherry’s yabbos… almost. And a pretty Irish lass and then, uh…

Such a pretty mess, and I’m cleaning the bedsheets. This morning isn’t helping because such and such a person sent a photo of Sakura Miyajima, meaning I sent her videos.

So, between sin, anger, and girls, what else warms me up? Friends I need to talk to. And what food can I get within my budget? I WARMED Braxton, Virgil.

1490 Days Without B III, Day 931 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 240 ~Willing The BS Virgil~

I need Special Education by Goodie Mob standards if this day is a thriller. Hell! I’ve been all about the music as long as I have the Wi-Fi and the router I installed… A week before this conversation. FEAR is such BS. Willing The BS Virgil.

Wednesday, February 26, 2025

Meditation 240 ~Willing The BS Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Again? Let me start by ripping off Eminem. Guess who’s back, back again. Willie’s back, tell a friend.

What, that I’m scared out of my Effing mind! And I told you this morning that while I was terrified of losing Braxton, I’m still breathing. And I ain’t scared of no sheets, Mr. President. And I ain’t afraid of the Schutzstaffel (the SS), Mr. Musk. But I’m so scared.

Inspector, the question is, what am I afraid of? As it has become customary, I ask questions when I know the answers. I’m afraid to sleep. And how do I conquer said fear? The answer…

Inspector, I sleep. But not today. I’m waiting for and willing this existence’s BS move.

Yes, Inspector, I’m waiting for it to break down again. And my “Shakedown” and trembling with fear. I missed my afternoon nap. I love Wi-Fi.

Do I love it more than my son B? It makes me sick to my stomach, my dear Lady Echo. Inspector, take all of my electronic devices and secrets, and you could have it all. My empire of dirt. All I want is my LIFE with my son back. Aren’t I musical today, Inspector Echo?

Yes, I enjoyed my devices while living in the bathroom, either on my knees or behind. Eww! I know, Inspector. When I get scared, I get sick, except if we’re talking about the Day Job.

Then I get even more scared, and suddenly I feel better because I don’t want to lose it, Inspector. How’s that for getting “Down With The Sickness? If anything, I need to take sick days.

Why? Because I didn’t work last week, I won’t get a paycheck. I’m willing to deal with the Day Job’s BS because I will need to deal with the world’s BS one day. But that day never comes. Too frightened! I’m worrying about internet security on Wednesday, February 19, 2025.

While I was busy with that this morning, why exactly was that? Natsumi Obata and her big juicy Yabbos from Saimin Seishidou. I like to show her off. Inspector Echo…?

Beautiful women, am I right? Even animated ones. But adult relations… You know that other S-word makes me feel better. So, sleep, sickness, and spicy material scare me, dave me, and are sinful. Sloth, right? Thriller of a day. I’m Special Willing The BS Virgil.

1487 Days Without B III, Day 928 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush~

Since M Anime isn’t mad at me, I can share one of my dreams with her. What every woman needs, snow, a survival kit, and lingerie I want to see her in. And with that heat, dirty tales, and humiliation. I should go. Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush.

Saturday, February 22, 2025

Meditation 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I live in California, Florida, or somewhere tropical. Hot! Anywhere, “adult entertainment” is plentiful.

Lofty dreams for a Southern man. But do you see how easy it is to have a vision, a dream, Lady Lunalesca? To have a goal or make a plan… I have… I had plenty for this year of my existence. You know, the year I expected to lose my Braxton. He would’ve been twenty.

And while there were tears for him last night. Finally! I was more or less crying for other things. FEAR! And it’s not of this moment of sitting here waiting for somebody to post on X so I can send videos of checks my notes Reina Kurashiki. How about asking why I can’t be Johnny Sins? I weep not only for the future but mine. How do I move forward?

I had a dream last night. I was crying from embarrassment, a feeling that has become all too familiar. In the dream, I found myself in the movie Vivarium, a place of confinement and repetition. It’s a mock universe. But in my version, I was digging upwards, desperate for escape.

Flinging my shovel in the open air, I found dirt. But I could only reach so far without the ability to fly. You know how people talk about the hill they’ll die on. Well, Lunalesca…

I started packing a hill under my feet. But it wasn’t with grave dirt. My son Braxton’s ashes provided the foundation. Then came the ashes from my books. Grossest words…

Yes, I was crying about that being broadcast on X/Twitter. It’s my fault. Forgive me! But in my dream, I was not just crying about the exposure. I was also burning my secrets, the things I’ve kept hidden and buried. The act of burning them was both liberating and terrifying, as it unlocked a new fear within me. Thanks, Norton!

But the heart of the matter is this: I was creating a Hell to carry me to Heaven. It’s a paradox, a contradiction that reflects the madness of my current state. I’m trying to find a way out of my pain, but in doing so, I’m only creating more suffering.

And while I am not a man of faith, I heard an angel’s words. “He is not here, for he has risen.” And instead of the Lips Of An Angel, I heard the song I’ve Got Heaven Right Here On Earth. And don’t I, Lady Lunalesca? I’m cold, a coward; what about a cuck… Right.

No wonder I dreamt about fire. And with that, I cried all the more. The fire remained ash and snow. Black and white… V? But B was beside him, and I ordered them both… Mush!

Where am I going? I don’t know. I’m always afraid. But… Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush!

1483 Days Without B III, Day 924 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 233 ~What’s Christof’s BS Virgil~

What pray tell is my greatest fear? The fear of losing my son. Been there, done that. I don’t fear death. Drowning… Far Cry 5, Heavy Rain, and being In The Navy were harrowing. But as of 6 AM, it’s the Wi-Fi and a redhead. What’s Christof’s BS Virgil

Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Meditation 233 ~What’s Christof’s BS Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Well, according to Google, experiencing FEAR is not a sin. But living… uh, existing as I do is.

I wish I could be as diabolical as Christof is in “The Truman Show.” I want to have as much grit as Tom in “Vivarium.” And who doesn’t want to be Hajime Tanaka from Saimin Seishidou? What? There are no secrets in the House of Bradford. Well, what I do when I take a shower? Or when I have to kick Braxton and Virgil out of the room. Man stuff.

Yes, I am one for por… romances of an adult nature. I am also a Pop Culture so-and-so Inspector Echo. But worst is how I panic, pout, and pretend to be a gentleman… I’m pathetic.

I’m more like a professor, philosopher, and poet… No, I gave that honor to Virgil. And to honor my Braxton…

Again, I exist in FEAR of everything. And that FEAR today was for the Wi-Fi. I did not call upon the courage of my lost son. But that of Christof. Shows what I do Internet-wise.

So, this morning, I was hit by two fears. One, that I had been hacked. And two, living without purpose. When dealing with the first, I switched routers. Can you imagine if I were a father to two-legged kids rather than four-legged ones? All Virgil knows is I was up early. FEAR plus Adrenaline and an energy shot. Next thing you know, I’m at the Dining Room table having this talk instead of in bed. Having a harem again means…

Speaking of which, I’ve been trying to calm down Inspector.

I finished reading Dirk Knight’s “Harem University Book 4,” But that was after I dealt with my second FEAR, FOMO, as the kids say, “fear of missing out.” Yeah, those kids are ages 22-24. Anyway, that’s the reason I was cutting out scenes from Saimin Seishidou’s Episode 5. So everyone could watch Natsumi Obata get “Hypnotized.” I’m a mother-effing PIMP.

Literally… Eww! What about being a writer? Do I still FEAR that I’ll never make it or that no one cares? Uh, I get more attention for a redhead’s anime, Yabbos. But am I smart? Inspector, I’ve been sharing parts of Nightmare At The Meat Market with AI. Talk about breaking down my genius… But FEAR is breaking me down. Overflowing. What’s Christof’s BS Virgil

1480 Days Without B III, Day 921 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 229 ~B’s For Blame Virgil~

B is for a big mouth. Maybe I should say F for my effing fingers. So… How did V-Day go? Forgiving the fact that the 13th was B’s 20th birthday. The fight I had with Adore Me over M Anime’s gift. And her not talking to me… B’s For Blame Virgil.

Saturday, February 15, 2025

Meditation 229 ~B’s For Blame Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I am guiltless. Cast in the name of God. Ye not Guilty, Lady Lunalesca.

For what? “The Big O” from last night? And that wasn’t even with M Anime. But for the record, she did get me all hot and bothered. And the next thing you know, I’m spilling all over that girl Mei from Overwatch. She’s so much like M Anime, Lady Lunalesca.

But we’ll get to that. What about my boys, my boys! Braxton’s gone, and speaking of spilling… Virgil decided to puke all over the bed, giving me another reason to change the sheets. Next thing you know, I’m kicking him out because I believe he wasn’t sick at all. Anxiety? I can relate. I’ve been frazzled all morning. But I’m not grieving for my Braxton.

Braxton’s gone. Virgil’s not due for a check-up until April.

But if something happens to Virgil before then… What am I supposed to say, Lunalesca?

I’ve got “Faith of The Heart.” I had that for Braxton. And he didn’t live to see his twentieth birthday. And didn’t I say I would stop blaming myself for Braxton being gone? Never Acceptance.

Once again, it’s the fifteenth, and I haven’t cried for Braxton once today. But whenever I’m in pain, I think of the worst crime I ever committed. Seriously, Lunalesca, Gale had Katniss kiss him when he was in pain. All I have is the memory of the son that I failed. But wait, there’s more! I can blame myself for everything, but Luna, do I look a thing like Jesus?

Lunalesca, I talk like a gentleman, like you imagine “When You Were Young.” I’m forty.

So what mistake did this forty-year-old make yesterday with my Valentine? Takes a breath I started the morning with a good morning text and hoped she’d have a “Lovely Day.” I sent her a couple of songs and then asked her permission to show her picture, you know, take a look at my “girlfriend,” and all. She said she was bashful, so I didn’t. She spent most of the day ranting about everything: the IRS, exploitive management, and such. You know I’m one for ranting and complaining, dear Lady Lunalesca.

Plus, my type is the broken doll or the prettiest doll I want to break. Anyway, I bought her a survival kit, which is her thing. And some lingerie, which is my thing, but she suggested what she wanted. I read about this nightmare she had. Who am I to talk? I turned Nightmare At The Meat Market into a 50,000-word novel inspired by her nightmares. In the evening, we talked about dinner and the different anime we watched as children. We also talked about culture and languages. And then, Lady Lunalesca. Here we go.

Breathes, I brought up my friends. M Anime is Puerto Rican. But there’s Cherry who’s an English girl and white. Awesome melons! I didn’t say that part. There’s Braxton’s Aunt, who’s Black Girl magic personified. And then I said if I had an Asian girl and a lesbian friend, I’d be set… And I haven’t heard from M Anime since. So now what, Lady Luna?

“Sorry, Blame It On Me.” I even tried to use that line from Kanye West to explain it a bit:

“My favorite girl wanna leave me just because I got a girlfriend
My freak girl told me now she a Christian
My white girl wanna move back to Michigan
I’m pulling girls off the bench like a sixth man” ―

And I texted M Anime this morning asking if she was upset. That’s Valentine’s Day.

For all I know, I did nothing. But I blame myself for everything. And if I messed up, the likelihood of Braxton getting a stepmom… But B’s For Blame Virgil?

1476 Days Without B III, Day 917 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 226 ~Another B For Virgil~

Even if by some miracle I ever became “The Hero…” I couldn’t save B. I have no clue how to save myself. And I rescued V… Though if he had his way. But how many times have I written it out? B III, boobies, and always more books. “Another B For Virgil”

Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Meditation 226 ~Another B For Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Is it a sin to want to be saved? He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, my Braxton.

My firstborn son Braxton, B III. And as much as I hate to admit it… Well, no, I don’t. Consider I’ve gone on talking about B for four long years. B’s memory keeps me sane.

Inspector, I no longer call out to him for his medication. Again, it’s been four years, and Virgil’s been here two and a half. But I’m still having trouble remembering his name, Echo. And yet I remember Braxton’s birthday is tomorrow. Braxton would be twenty.

Inspector, for the record, I was twenty myself when he and I first met. B III should have had twenty. To think this is the time I expected to lose him. What a joke, Inspector. Where was I supposed to be around this time? Hmm.

“All the things I thought I’d be
All the brave things I’ve done
Vanish like a snowflake
With the rising of the sun.”
Randy Newman

But no. Today is Tuesday, February 11, 2025, and what have I done today. Writing?

Inspector, yeah, sure. And we’ll get into that. But I wrote a few lines about wanting to “bed” Isla Dawn. What was it I’ve been talking about lately? Oh yeah, joining the scum of the Earth, talking a certain way about women. It’s one reason I’m checking out female wrestlers. Honestly, Inspector, anytime I check out anything ADULT on X, it’s usually followed up with Trump, Elon, MAGA, or racists. An amalgamation, my dear Inspector

Nothing ruins the mood more. And at the same time, Inspector, what gets me going…

Inspector, to be fair, I prefer Thora Birch’s twins. Um, Yabbos. Cherry’s I’ve never seen…

But there’s always hope, right?

“If there was hope, it must lie in the proles.”

Only I’m Just A Man who made twenty bucks on OnlyFans with my manhood… Wow!

Enough for a payout but not enough to buy a future. And without Braxton here to save me. Virgil, again, is anywhere but here. He takes up the bed most days, but comfy spots are everywhere. So, if I’m not in the bedroom, Inspector, I watch the house fall apart.

What can I do? What must I do? Sure, there are plenty of books to read. But to write one…

My words, these words, those words, they have power. But the power to save me. Inspector Braxton did that most days with his silence. Braxton Barks Bradford, B III, son. But which B will it be? Another B For Virgil

1473 Days Without B III, Day 914 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

The Big Game’s Sunday, but I’m not even looking forward to the commercials. And eating? $100.00 doesn’t go so far. But the days I shared with B. And V’s here. If the world remains. Dogs don’t get nine lives. And men. “Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil”

Saturday, February 8, 2025

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I should be running the Squid Games. Or have people living in a Vivarium.

I’m feeling the weight of everything, Lu. I need to turn off the noise, the distractions, because they’re just adding to the heaviness. I need your support. Don’t I always?

Depression is not a good thing. Neither are my decisions. Or my wayward DICtation, Ha!

And speaking of shooting my mouth off or other parts of my anatomy… There is always my Special Drawer. I should say Special Draws… Keep your pants on, right Lunalesca.

If I had, I wouldn’t be so unhappy this morning. My lady, I’m never happy.

Honestly, why should I be? Braxton is gone. Virgil is somewhere else in every sense. Lunalesca, V’s living his one life, which leads to a question. Besides, who do I like more, Cherry or her mum?

How about Tsubaki Miyajima or Sakura? I swear that’s my latest KINK. There’s also whether I call them pigtails or handlebars… I’m going to get all worked up again, Luna.

And I don’t need that. But I just needed to feel something. “A safe home and a warm bed on a quiet little street.” What about a full stomach? I had that via Pizza Hut. But now I only want to vomit. I’m not blaming them. That would be the energy shot I’ve taken, Luna.

Because Every Day Is Exactly the Same. So why not join my son B III. Take it to the bridge, as in the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil needs me, and my schedule is jam-packed with things to do, dearest Lunalesca.

January 31: Braxton Passed Away
February 4: Braxton Was Cremated
February 10: Braxton Was Returned
February 13: Braxton’s Twentieth Birthday
August 13: Virgil’s Gotcha Day
E-Day: Second Worst Day Ever
October 20: Virgil’s Fifth Birthday
Yesterday: The Horror, The Horror
Today: What Did I Do?

Last night, I was thinking about all the months I’d wasted since the last E-Day. And then today started with me lying in the dark. I didn’t whisper the names of my enemies like in Golden Son or Morning Star. But instead, moaning as if there’s Thirteen Women and Only One Man in Town. No. I’m Just A Man with a Special Drawer full of…

Lunalesca, once upon a time, it was Cool Devices. And now? Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil.

1469 Days Without B III, Day 910 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 219 ~Who Is HBK, Virgil~

Considering how many days I’ll have without human contact, I’ll have to find new ways of humiliation. Confessing to Braxton’s Euthanasia four years ago. Virgil is here. But I’m too busy chatting with the worst wrestling fans… Who Is HBK, Virgil?

Wednesday, February 5, 2025

Meditation 219 ~Who Is HBK, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… At least I haven’t failed before the human race… President Trump. The “man” I’m disappointed in is myself.

I haven’t bothered looking at the “Man In The Mirror” today, but it’s early Inspector.

There’s also the fact that I’ve cried twice before 9:00. Damn Eden White’s “Song Unsung” and “Yamaha” by Delta Spirit. It takes the fire out of Satan’s Sorority Girls 8.

Inspector, can we talk about HBK? Later. First, there’s B, always and forever, my boy. Braxton, my firstborn son. Between the last week of January and the first couple of weeks of February, there isn’t much fear of Humiliations Galore coming from people. Eye Doc?

Yes, I will set up another appointment. And I have to talk to the ISP. And there’s always the FEAR of my father’s arrival. But I survived losing Braxton, and with that, I’m a “Survivor.”

But today isn’t about Destiny’s Child, 2WEI, President Trump (Eff Donald Trump)! Or even The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. So why did I bring HBK up, my dear Inspector Echo? Because I’m “Just A Man.” And how many pop culture references is that, my lady? Again, you should read Satan’s Sorority Girls 8 by Eric Vall. The man’s gone crazy.

Only if you want crazier can you read from Twitter/X from the criminal cu*k boys.

I watched the Royal Rumble, and of course, I fell in with these worst kinds of people. Funny, that’s where I find all the Trump and Elon propaganda. Say horrific things about women, and suddenly, the algorithm says MAGA to the core. Inspector Echo, really? I sent a friend this:

But she’s old and has nothing to lose. But I’m forty. Dignity, delightful people, daylight…

I lost my dog, I lost B. That’s a lie because I signed his life away. And what about mine? I’m The Heartbreak Kid, but not in the fun WWE type of way. “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow.” And it could be I want to find myself guilty of something other than B’s Euthanasia. And, “Only God Knows Why.” For the record, that’s about seven songs, my lady.

Excuse me, eight there’s also Rakuen (Paradise). Paradise would be joining my son. It would be not thinking about all these single ladies or superstars Yabbos and saying gross things.

9, Inspector Echo. Ignorance is bliss. Who Is HBK, Virgil.

1466 Days Without B III, Day 907 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

The one time… Um, two that I liked going downstairs. When Braxton’s favorite girl and I had a movie night. And then moving things back upstairs for Braxton’s “memorial.” Virgil’s still here. And who am I, Dante or some character? One, Virgil, B Here.

Saturday, February 1, 2025

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So, by this point, I have built Braxton Barks Bradford, a temple mightier than the pyramids.

My son, my shining prince. And who am I, Pharaoh? If I had started earlier, I would have watched The Ten Commandments or Malcolm X last night, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

However, it was the usual day. What is “normal” about my son being euthanized, Luna?

That it happened four years ago. And how did I spend this fourth anniversary? Breathing.

Yes, I woke up to find that was still the case, though I was up till around one this morning.

So how did I spend yesterday? It was standard. I only left once to pick up a burger, fries, and a shake. I shared them with Virgil in honor of Braxton. I cried six times.

Lunalesca, who’s counting. Two meals, four movies, and 1462 Days.

That’s around four years. The fourth anniversary of my Braxton’s loss to the world, Lu.

I can’t help but feel it should have been me. The thought of reaching for that one thing in my nightstand, you know what I mean, it crossed my mind. But then I think, who would be here for Virgil? Was I there for Braxton when he needed me most?

Well, considering Braxton isn’t here anymore… The only mess I almost made was with the second head, recreating Lester Burnham’s shower scene from American Beauty.

Lunalesca, how dare I! But I didn’t finish. I didn’t deserve to. Braxton is DEAD! Lately, there hasn’t been any particular song playing in my head. As you can see, it’s mostly movie quotes. It was tradition for Braxton and I. Our movie nights… Then his aunt came along, too.

Lunalesca, she has her own stuff. Cherry is always writing. And M Anime finally got back to me, but of course, I was fulfilling A Dog’s Purpose. Really? Somehow! Lunalesca.

“So, in all my lives as a dog, here’s what I’ve learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don’t get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.” From Bailey, A Dog’s Purpose

If I could be so lucky. If only my sons were. But I’ve been stuck in the past with both.

Virgil will have a future if neither one of my heads pops off. If you get my drift. The future:

Black History Month begins today
Feb 4. Braxton was cremated
Feb 10. Braxton was returned
Feb 13. Braxton’s twentieth birthday
Feb 14. M Anime, Valentine?

And let’s not forget where I was this time last year or in 2021. But the one lesson from last night. Be here now… Without Braxton? One, Virgil, B Here

Tale 215 B For Virgil’s Freedom

Gospel 215 Act From Desire Not Insecurity

1462 Days Without B III, Day 903 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 212 ~Virgil On B’s Whereabouts~

While I don’t remember the day, there was the look in Braxton’s eyes as we sat at the front door. He’s here, I’m here, and that was enough for both us. But V looks so lost. Indeed, I lost my way in this place, after B… Virgil On B’s Whereabouts.

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Meditation 212 ~Virgil On B’s Whereabouts~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I should have done more. What… Sin? I’ve actually been a very good boy. Wednesday, January 22, 2025.

So, where is Braxton? For that matter, where is Virgil? 2:30 PM… “Do You Know Where Your Children Are?” One out of three or more ain’t bad. So Inspector? Braxton?

Considering from where you’re sitting… the week Braxton died? But at this moment, there have been a few tears for my firstborn son. I need only think of Braxton’s name, then… Only if you mean literally Braxton is in his box on the nightstand. And the pendant on top of that when I’m not wearing it. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Braxton’s soul.

Virgil Vivi Bradford is at the foot of the bed as usual. Breathing, Existing, Sleeping.

Inspector, in doing that, he’s keeping me out of trouble. Zone-Tan, Adore Me and MILFS?

I told you earlier today in Meditation 205 ~B Nights, See Virgil~ I’ve been reading Ryan and His Beauties 2, which, simply put, is about Ryan and the newcomers to his growing “family,” the Milf Jody and her daughter Olivia. For Braxton’s sake, can I keep it in my pants? However, as I said, Braxton’s passed away. Virgil’s snoring away. But what about some two-legged kids? Uh, with who? M Anime? Valentine’s Day, Dear Inspector.

Regrettably, I’ve been unable to focus on my Lost Boy today, Inspector. Or on the idea that he’ll have siblings, I’ll tell about his life one day. ‘Well, my left hand’s free,’ I say, but it’s a crude joke. Where is the man I was when I was mourning Braxton?

Hell! Where is my money? This is my son B III, whom we’re talking about; this is his fourth year of being gone. Birthdays, Christmases, and the day he passed away, so 12 gifts, Inspector?

And where do I send those gifts? How do I afford said gifts when I’m too busy looking up Dakimakura, things to show off M Anime’s assets, and more books? What would Braxton even want? To be alive. V wants back in this room. Relax, Inspector, it ain’t even like that. You can only sleep for so long. And since V’s bathroom training is subpar…

He’s a good dog looking for a friend. Braxton’s a dead one looking for his Daddy. Who and where am I? Virgil On B’s Whereabouts

1459 Days Without B III, Day 900 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will