Tag: Humiliation

Journey 012 ~Big Beautiful B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“I think I used to have a voice, now I never make a sound.” A big, bold, and brave voice. I’d settle for being sir in any drive-thru. Or if I had enough bucks. Money talks. Then there’s my boy’s bark and my girl’s big bosom… Big Beautiful B, Virgil.

Sunday, July 13, 2025

Journey 012 ~Big Beautiful B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… But how much of you is left? Do you remember your Spanish class, or was it French?

“You’re black, you’re poor, you’re ugly, you’re (you). You’re nothing at all.”
The Color Purple

You’re not STUPID… That’s reading and film. But not the point. You can’t speak Spanish, but I’m sure Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, can help with that. The things a Boricua girl will say in the throes of passion remain to be seen. But we’re not talking love languages right now. Or are we? You can’t speak French either. And what’s really “grinding your gears” is that you’re forgetting Braxton’s language. Heartless bastard!

Yeah, I didn’t intend for you to start speaking nicely about yourself today. And Monday?
Another whole week off and no money. Only the beeps and the boops. A “WARNING!”

I swear every noise to alert you sounds like it comes out of “The Long Walk.” WARNING! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Moving In, The House Husband’s Harem Book 1, Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Are you doomed to fail them as well? Why not add to them with your big boy voice sometime? Hell! If you could go to a fast food place and they referred to you as ‘sir’ instead of ‘ma’am.’ That would be a win. And speaking of food, could you say you’ll make a buck?

How about you won’t spend the whole week crying about B III? Last night, while I was “watching” wrestling, I told myself I wouldn’t burst into tears this week. So far, you’re keeping your word. You didn’t cry even when you pulled a tick off of 2-V. The poor guy.

You could try not to moan over M Anime, Cherry, or @SeeJaneGoTV. Good luck with that, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him: (His Sorority Harem Book One) Neil Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like how now to go broke, that’s the B that’s beginning to eclipse everything, even your son. Braxton isn’t here to save you. And his novel, “My Turn To B III.” Sometimes I believe that I’m on “The Edge of Glory.” But most of the time, it’s “Boy, you’re STUPID.”

Because I Still Believe/Super Bass and other songs will be playing when M Anime comes (in more ways than one) in the Winter. You’re a geek, a gleek, but at least she acknowledges that you’re a guy. And when a girl says You got a handsome dick! Or something like that. Her words make you feel ten feet tall, with a Big Ten Inch… Record

Yet it’s Braxton. His barking. Silence. Big Beautiful B, Virgil.

1624 Days Without B III, Day 1065 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 010 ~Braxton’s Reading Level V~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not one of these book-burning, MAGA, “Cracker Hats.” Thank Cherry for that one. Anyway, how many books have I read that were appropriate for my furry boys? And if they knew how I spoke to their potential stepmom. “Braxton’s Reading Level V.”

Friday, July 11, 2025

Journey 010 ~Braxton’s Reading Level V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Do I look like a teacher? I intend to teach my boys’ stepmom, M Anime, something…

Don’t I mean Braxton and Virgil’s “potential” or “future” stepmom? And what will I be teaching her? Something like Moving In: A Slice of Life Contemporary Romance (The House Husband’s Harem Book 1), which I finished reading this morning. Seriously?

There’s also my writing. I keep thinking of Braxton’s novel “My Turn To B III.” That’s what I should be working on right this second. But I was in a rush to talk to you… In some sick sort of way, in this “Sick, Sad World,” I should get my firstborn out of my head.

I’ll tell you why. Maybe the world is catching up with ways to hurt me. Always and forever losing Braxton will be my greatest FEAR and pain. But there’s more.

I had a dream last night that somebody robbed me “69” times. Am I joking? I’ve mentioned all the technical troubles I’ve been having lately. And even if I wasn’t, does it look like I have any money? Do I have anything of value? TIME! When did I wake up?

Sophia, I should be reading about why I don’t want to wake up. Instead, there will be more Yabbos or another book about dead fur buddies. I couldn’t decide after I finished Dirk Knight’s book. And again I look to my work, which should be done on the 25th… Please!

I’m busy counting out jelly beans for the day. I’m measuring Virgil’s food. And when’s the last time I had Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner, Sophia?

I’d rather be “eating” M Anime” anyway. I know, Sophia, Eww. Not her, but the idea that talking about our desires is somehow wrong. Should we talk about my dead dog some more? Yes, I can speak about B III forever. And anytime I talk about my disgust or demise…

So “Let’s Talk About Sex,” baby. For example, it’s sort of an old “joke,” but if you say you’re giving a girl a creampie, you’re wrong. But if you say, we’re trying for a baby, people will celebrate. M Anime and I have discussed a bit. Condoms, IUD, uh, protection?

“Protection
For gangs, clubs, and nations
Causing grief in human relations
It’s a turf war on a global scale
I’d rather hear both sides of the tale”
Black Or White

I won’t read any of that with her. But the words “I Love You.” If I could ever read that myself. Braxton’s Reading Level V

1622 Days Without B III, Day 1063 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 005 ~V Looks Up B~

WillLeave a comment

What did I look up this morning, hmm? Everything that M Anime says, and I need to reply to her. Does “SeeJaneGoTV” have an OnlyFans? Have you seen Jane’s melons? And speaking of a feast, why has my dog stopped eating? V looks up B

Sunday, July 6, 2025

Journey 005 ~V Looks Up B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… You are not one of these MAGA idiots. You’re more of an extra in “Don’t Look Up.”

Hell! It’s as if the sky has been falling for the past four days. And damn the sky, you couldn’t bear to look at yourself in the mirror this morning. And where are you right now? This doesn’t look like the Dining Room table. Like father, like son. Uh, Virgil…

You had to hand-feed him again this morning. What is his deal? Is he that eager to join his big brother Braxton on the Rainbow Bridge? At least Virgil is eating. But it always returns to Braxton’s last days. That boy deserved a steak dinner. You’re lucky to find doughnuts.

Or maybe stop listening to Succubus Lord “food porn” when you’re walking Virgil. Even then, it hurts to look up. Like seeing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Seven Days in June” ―
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 045* No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, yeah, I totally blew #4. Eww! Between Jane Vickers “SeeJaneGoTV,” Gymnastics, and Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I’ll say I’m more obsessed with legs, breasts, and thighs than Colonel Sanders ever was. But yeah, Yabbos, aka TWINS!

Yet here you are, thinking about fried chicken. And no, you are not a pregnant woman with a craving for Buffalo Wild Wings sauce, some street tacos, and Krispy Kreme doughnuts for dessert. What have you done to earn anything remotely like that? Uh, nothing.

The most you looked up this morning is what book you have to read before the week is through. You could be looking up who’s looking you up. Effing Norton Antivirus! Or how to ever accomplish these Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As yet to be determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But if you had your way, you would never look up anything again. Do people in Hell ever look up? While you were lying here, you were looking up three different pet loss books for starters. Will any of them give you the answer to not look at B to save you? And what about his book? I literally came up with a plan… That’s a lie. AI gave you a plan to publish a book by Friday, July 25, 2025. What will come of it? Bedroom, not Dining Room.

You’re really making a lifetime investment, ha-ha. M Anime is an angel. How do you build a Heaven for her? How to make yourself a star? How can you love Virgil? V Looks Up B.

1617 Days Without B III, Day 1058 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 003 ~Virgil’s Free, B III~

WillLeave a comment

Last week, I said I understand why people aren’t reading much. I sound like one of those MAGA fools. I doubt any of them read that bill that passed. I started my day with my Braxton, a bestseller, and how many boobs/Yabbos. Virgil’s Free, B III.

Friday, July 4, 2025

Journey 003 ~Virgil’s Free, B III~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… No? I’d rather keep it for myself. Good luck with that. “Seven Days in June” Bestseller

And speaking of bestsellers, I bought a can of specialized dog food while my Braxton lay dying. Four years ago, my Lady. The pain is still as fresh as the day my son bought it. Sunday, January 31, 2021. And Nobody Knows it but me. Seriously, I’m not Tony Rich.

Let’s talk about rich, wealthy, C.R.E.A.M. Sadly, I read MAGA passed “The Big Beautiful Bill.” How dare they use that moniker, B III? Their freedom is making slaves of us.

And it’s Independence Day today, Sophia. Eff MAGA! FDT! And as far as that bill is concerned… “Eff that! And Eff everybody that had anything to do with it!” I’m not Suzanne Collins, either. Another bestseller. My work might as well be Norton Antivirus warnings.

Waking up to this Hellscape is one big fat WARNING. And silly me, I mistook it for an invitation. Again, I meant to get through 90% of Seven Days in June this morning. But what got me up this morning was Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Or the idea of her anyway. It was only a notice that something I bought her, a top, had arrived today or yesterday. You know me and Yabbos. Because I’ve been staring at Destiny (Cuban’s) and Kerra Dawson’s all morning. And let’s not forget Jane from “SeeJaneGoTv.”

I’m free to read at this very moment, but I’d rather look at Yabbos. Um, if M Anime or Cherry were around, I’d do both. “I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo.” Googling Jane Vickers, Sophia.

Honestly, just now, I looked up “SeeJaneGoTV” and found my blog. Read the room, right?

It’s better if I don’t read anything. But what’s left? Writing. I’m not because… DEATH!

Sophia, I signed my name and punched Braxton’s ticket like “The Long Walk.” My finger wasn’t on the trigger, or rather the plunger, or whatever, but I ended my firstborn.

However, I won’t let Virgil suffer that same fate, so I watch him eat and even hand-feed him at times. Then again, I signed another set of papers and ended his life, rescuing him. Freedom?

You call this free! What about my own freedom papers? “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” But, Virgil’s Free, B III.

1615 Days Without B III, Day 1056 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 363 ~When Braxton Kinged Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

My head hurts… I want to climb under the covers and put a pillow over my face. Not cool? Neither is my B III. Not being here to sit on my head. Or a pretty girl sitting on my face. Am I crass? I’m not a good man or a king. When Braxton Kinged Virgil.

Sunday, June 29, 2025

Meditation 363 ~When Braxton Kinged Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you’re willing your head to hurt. You don’t want to look at yourself. I didn’t either.

But it will be your curse for this week. Don’t worry, you only have to go out once or twice.

Day Job, Gas, Store… With what money? If you think you look bad, take a gander at your Day Job schedule. Better yet, take a peek at your bank account. Or how about B’s story?

Braxton is dead. That is the worst thing you’ve ever seen. He was so beautiful, even in death. No wonder you wanted to pack it in. Ah, yes, you needed some tears today. B III.

“You’re leaving me, Rainbow Girl.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Dreamfever

You’re neither a girl nor gay (nothing wrong with rainbows) nor a “happy” boy. But tears, sweat, lube, and what color is Capri Sun? Anyway, the clarity reveals everything. How I Failed Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Captive of the Beast Men: Monster Caveman Erotica, Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 038, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 045* No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And I’ve made things even worse for you. I wish I could have left you a Crown. Hell Crowns if we were talking about the Lords of the Realm II universe. You could use the gold right now. “I could really use a wish right now,” you’re telling yourself. The sky is falling down on you. “When the Stars Go Blue,” they fall, too. “Airplanes,” as well. “Don’t Look Up,” huh. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. You never asked for this. True.

You feel overwhelmed. Like you’ll overflow, and you want it all to be over. It’s your first day, and still, you’re carrying on with “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal,” right?

You’re no Teen Idle capable of doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As yet to be determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 045* No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So what was Braxton thinking when he tapped his little brother, Virgil? He didn’t gain B III’s crown but a cross. Lay down his burden, “Down By The Riverside.” He needs to go “Down To The River To Pray.” Do dogs have knees… If 2-V had even that small mercy.

Speaking of somebody being on their knees, Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Yes, you’re crude, a “Creep” in a Radiohead sort of way. And you want to cum as hard as that guy did in “Blow Slow Talin” from Reality Kings. A man of taste, I see. Nope!

You’re just a pretender. Long Live The King? On $11.00? Long Live The Prince. Because you lost your head long ago. When Braxton Kinged Virgil.

1610 Days Without B III, Day 1051 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 361 ~Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m understanding why people don’t do much reading. I mean, it’d help if you cared about others. Eff MAGA! Eff FDT! Eff Christian Nationalists! But what about what I’m reading? Besides three beautiful women, there’s Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil.

Friday, June 27, 2025

Meditation 361 ~Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… You want to ask if I will ever do another review. Read the room. Bank account…

This week has been filled with things I don’t want to read. Norton Antivirus? Effers!

There’s “my” bank account. Nothing in there. Well, I don’t know. I haven’t checked. Not even on payday. I know how much I worked last week. Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, would be ashamed. She’s getting 40 hours weekly to come to me.

Well, cum for me. I know Lady Sophia. Ew! And I mean the sex talk, not the sex act. SIGH.

I and my ‘Nonsense’ words, better known as lies. Because I have read some interesting things this week. But reading in FEAR is worse than reading when I’m so exhausted.

Honestly, M Anime’s words aren’t wasted. I’m editing Braxton’s novel. And “Seven Days In June.”

I’m sorry to say I won’t finish Tia Williams’ book to complete the Kindle Challenge. Hell! Lady Sophia, I’ll have to buy some erotica fluff novella to have a book to read this week. It might be the first time I fail that portion of Six Impossible Things on Sunday. And “Seven Days In June” is pretty good so far. But I’m not even halfway done, and with such gems:

“Life is a terrible habit.”
― Seven Days In June

“It was all so exotic. He’d always appreciated families from a distance, looked at them like they were a fascinating experiment: all that intimacy and domesticity couldn’t have been more foreign.”
Seven Days In June

You know why I’m not dead yet despite “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” Not ok?

How many times have I looked up “Teen Idle” for those words? A forty-year-old bum. Shouldn’t I be yelling at… No. Writing strong notes to Norton and a delivery service.

What about Heaven? “Dear Heaven,” as Jeymes Samuel sang, Sophia.

But Braxton said… Hell! He writes every Monday that I have to live. And that’s why he sent me his little brother, Virgil, who is lying here at my feet. Literally, my second-born son has black and white fur. I heard Braxton whispering, “Can I make it any more obvious?”

His aunt, his Favorite Girl, still texts me. My second-best friend checks on me. And speaking of girls. What about “My Girl?” Talk about “The Temptations,” she texts me about.

Braxton has his girl; he’s palling around with her fur buddy on the Rainbow Bridge.

Regretfully, I’m not good enough to write the resignation of my life. To renounce my body until everyone knows my son. What am I, his masterpiece? Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil.

1608 Days Without B III, Day 1049 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 356 ~Braxton IS WOKE, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

My boys are from Mexico (originally). American citizens, but lacking opposable thumbs makes voting difficult. Their potential stepmom? I hope she stays safe. Should I hop the pond and visit Cherry? Escaping the Orange clown. “Braxton IS WOKE, Virgil”

Sunday, June 22, 2025

Meditation 356 ~Braxton IS WOKE, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I’m far from the one keeping you “awake and alive” In Your Eyes. Where is Braxton?

Easier question. Where is Virgil? You didn’t wake up crying thanks to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. But yes, you did cry a little later. But again, Virgil.

Well, he had breakfast and was in such a rush to get back to “your” room he promptly puked all over the carpet. Eww! “Better out than in, I always say.” But I’m not Shrek.

That’s like saying you aren’t Peter Gabriel. How about Post Malone or Swae Lee as in “Sunflower”? You’re thinking about songs to send, M Anime. Oh! Make sure you add Lonely No More to The Red Sash playlist. You care for her as I did. You knew Braxton for fifteen years. How about M Anime? Longer than Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Spring Break: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem, Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 031, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 038 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

This is one reason you’re WOKE. You have a firm grasp of history. If only firmer than that of you “choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying “hi” to (your) monster!” American Beauty? Don’t let MAGA hear you say that… Choking the chicken.

Your best friend is a black woman with a wife. M Anime’s your possible girlfriend and your boys’ potential stepmom, and she’s Puerto Rican, not that it matters to MAGA. And you like Cherry’s big melons, plus she’s English. And you could have a fantasy between M Anime and Cherry because you have nothing against lesbians. Progressive, liberal, leftist, democrat. Whatever! You’re WOKE. You don’t want to be WOKE… Excuse me, you don’t want to be awake. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As yet to be determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 038, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yeah, they still aren’t getting done. Hell! How many days have I missed? The 1600th day since Braxton departed. Juneteenth? And here I go, cursing you with one more day down of “Black and White People.” No, my friend, you have woken up today, and much like Ed Sheeran, you can sing out “I See Fire.” All thanks to that orange menace in the White House, Trump. FDT! Eff MAGA! Eff ICE! Eff all the people that continue to allow these atrocities, asinine tragedies, and these a**hole problems. What about you? Whose side you’d take.

If there is something good, “Somewhere Out There,” “Keep careful watch of my brothers’ souls.” Protect “your” women. And as for you? STAY ALIVE!” “STAY WOKE!” Braxton IS WOKE, Virgil

“All my life, I’ve lived by a code, and the code is simple: honor the gods, love your woman, and defend your country.”
Troy (2004)

1603 Days Without B III, Day 1044 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 354 ~B After Reading Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t want to read about clocks, account balances, or the latest scams. I don’t want to read about the fate of the U.S.A., what to fear, or if a text is legit. There’s writing the deeds of evil men or the loss of good boys. “B After Reading Virgil”

Friday, June 20, 2025

Meditation 354 ~B After Reading Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But I don’t wanna. What? Read, Write, Live. Today, I’m still “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.”

Well, more sick. I’m a forty-year-old man. But “I wish I’d been a wish I’d been a teen, Teen Idle.” A prom KING, for sure. But I continue writing and reading about a dead furry prince, my firstborn son Braxton. And Virgil, who is one accident away from “The End.”

Only I’m just getting started on Braxton’s novel “My Turn To B III.” Lo and behold, I made it to the Dining Room table yesterday and actually got through 5,000 words yesterday, my lady. 400 to Braxton and 4600 in memory of his life. Is there a sign that reads, The Rainbow Bridge, or do pets only infer that’s where they are? They see color and suddenly become literate as well. Our failures as humans.

This is why I see myself siding with MAGA. Eff No! FDT! But in the present moment, I wouldn’t mind living in Ray Bradbury’s “Fahrenheit 451” I want to see Bills, Buttons, and Billions burn. Because I got nothing. Nothing but words that I think will lead me to my…

There is no B in Salvation, Freedom, or P*ssy. I have Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom for that. And must I be so crass? Lady Sophia, I’m willing to read anything that doesn’t make me sick to my stomach. Only a few moments ago, when I should have gotten up, I was worried about the sound of the phone. Best friend or worse enemy. Everything.

I might as well participate in King’s “The Long Walk.”

The bank account. WARNING! Norton. WARNING! Virgil’s Health. WARNING. After?

Well, I can read about what I am. My boys’ potential stepmom, M Anime, pleads with me to accept that she thinks highly of me. I’m a great listener and kind, and I love my boys and pretty much all furry buddies; she’s crazy comfortable with me. We’re just alike.

Honestly, two halves of a soul. And yet she gives Kim Petras a run for her money. And I get to read about and write about Ariela, Ariella Ferrara, Destiny (Cuban Maid), and Violet Myers. They got nothing on my would-be very real girl. But I have words. The man I need to be is somewhere in the words. Having to B After Reading Virgil.

1601 Days Without B III, Day 1042 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 349 ~Down To V, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

“Happy Father’s Day.” Braxton never said it, but I felt it. And Virgil? As I was off to have lunch with B’s Fav Gal and her wifey, I let the word love slip. Virgil’s my son, too. But what kind of father am I in that effort. Already Down To V, Braxton

Sunday, June 15, 2025

Meditation 349 ~Down To V, Braxton~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Happy Father’s Day. But I don’t see an A+, Dad. In fact, I’m all but approaching V.

And you? And U? Your week has only just begun, and what do you have to show for it, hmm? You, me, damn, forty years of predecessors can all sing the tune “We’ve Only Just Begun.” You couldn’t even get it up to eat a cereal bar and have a cup of cappuccino this morning. Do you even have cappuccino? My bad. I was out with B’s Fav Gal yesterday.

Honestly, I built up a lunch with her and her new wifey to be as bad as watching B die.

Yes, “Anxiety,” as Doechii put it. Nothing will ever be as bad as watching Braxton’s… Euthanasia, passing, homegoing? Braxton was home. Or at least that’s something daddies do. Build? A Man Provides… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 17, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 031 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And yet, I was having a hard enough time providing conversation with B’s Fav Gal.

Seriously, the lunch was good. And you have something to eat today. You’re welcome, ha!

How about, you’re welcome to put forth more of an effort. Because you’ll shut your eyes tonight and ask, “Well, how did I get here?” And that hurts more than looking at yourself and all the mean, moronic musings of who you were hours before. Same as it ever was.

Nine hours, to be exact. And don’t forget that at some point today, you have to talk to your Old Man. Will some forty-something so and so ever have to speak to you? Daddy? Braxton?

Kidney failure, fatigue, just effed up. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Spring Break: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem, Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 031, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Why not add being the Daddy that Virgil deserves. Before you go off singing, you’re “The Only One For Me” to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. Why not tell her… Better show her SIGH “I can be the man you need me to be.” Someone you can be proud of.

Because you’re better than the orange that’s sitting in the Oval Office now. Always ‘FDT!”
The Founding Fathers. Eff the “NFFA” New Founding Fathers. Is there a Dad you respect? You feel such and such a way about yours. But you’re sitting here. Effing bum.

Being a father, to have little ones call you ‘Daddy,’ or again, the potential stepmom, M Anime, your 1984 Julia. “Once In A Lifetime,” A+ effort. Down To V, Braxton.

1596 Days Without B III, Day 1037 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 347 ~It’ll B Written, Virgil~

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When I was a boy, I cried over everything. What am I now? Something, someone who is afraid all the time. My Braxton is still gone, but it wasn’t him or the book I was reading. Blasted allergies? Or what’s become of the U.S.A? It’ll B Written, Virgil.

Friday, June 13, 2025

Meditation 347 ~It’ll B Written, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Friday the 13th. Happy Friday the 13th, though we do get a couple. So much blood.

“Yes, there will be blood.”

I’m more a fan of John Kramer, aka Jigsaw, than Jason Voorhees. Jigsaw could explain why I was crying today? Then Jason has the whole John Wick thing going for him. A man/monster of focus, commitment, and sheer will. This “Will” doesn’t have that. Guts!

But I still have my son’s blood on my hands. My poor Braxton, my firstborn. With the stroke of a pen, I ended his life on the “day of our lord” Sunday, January 31, 2021.

Seriously, Sophia, they talk about how long it takes for serial killers to get going. Saturday, August 13, 2022, with another pen, I “rescued” Braxton’s little brother Virgil. “How to Save a Life?” Give me sweat, blood, and tears and not ink. That comes later.

FEAR of sweat, blood, and tears? I’m not a hard worker, hard enough, considering what I’ve accomplished today. “Here and Now,” it’ll be written that I was crying while reading.

Can’t I save the love songs for Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Or shall I call her Julia from “1984.” My Lenina from “Brave New World.” Is she Lorinda from “It Can’t Happen Here?” How about I-330 from “We?” Where am I going with all this other than ideas of dystopian sex? I feel like Winston. I’m weak like Bernard but want to be the Savage. I want to write like Doremus. And I’m a victim, liar, traitor like D-503. A man, ha! All these books, Sophia, they’re all I have to make sense of my identity now. To alliveate the fears of…

A well-read something or other lying with M Anime, someday.

My Julia, as she told me this morning that when we meet for the first time, she should wear some blue coveralls and the red sash of “The Junior Anti-Sex League.” We make plans all the time in texts. All of it is designed to look like ink. Kindle books, love letters, coding, etc. Yet I can’t write out an honest answer. Why was I crying over a book, hm?

Sophia, the book was Spring Break: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (Harem University Book 6) by Dirk Knight. No, I was not crying over that. Not even over Braxton.

FEAR grips me sometimes. Hell, like grief over my son always and forever. Writing life. Mine? What’s it saying? The End… It’ll B Written, Virgil

1594 Days Without B III, Day 1035 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will