Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

If my boy then knew what his Dad knows now. But I don’t blame B. Especially this week. There is always so much noise. The Day Job, the snoring of Braxton’s little doggy bro. And is that the damn phone? And now Braxton’s silence. B’s Last Bark Virgil.

Monday, January 26, 2026

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? How many times have you cried today? Three? A coincidence? Does it matter?

“What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?”
Adam Ewing, David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas

Not enough ocean to drown in. Not enough to sail to come and “Find Me.” Nowhere near enough to cleanse everything. New beginning? M Anime, Virgil. Man In The Mirror?

Daddy. My father. You haven’t heard the last of me. My name? Braxton BARKS Bradford.

It’s all you can hear right now, but what am I saying? “Every Breath You Take.” Every beat of your heart. But you know what I really miss? Well, I am my father’s son. Always.

The noise, the silence, and everything in between those two ears of yours. Daddy’s brain.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I hope you don’t mind me saying this. Actually, it’s Forrest Gump anyway. Dear Daddy:

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.”
Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump

Again, I am my father’s son, and you’re better than this. Don’t think you are…

Know. No? Not this week anyway. Couldn’t you pick the day I ate your French Toast or Waffles? And the day after, when you protected your pancakes. And I got my nickname. “I love you like pancakes,” you would say, “but you have to calm down.” How about the day I jumped into that rolling thing of yours? I wasn’t the only one who hated that. And I can understand why you were always so angry when you came back from “Wherever You Will Go.” But I didn’t know what I was supposed to bark at. So there was silence.

Dad, I would watch you sleep and make sure whatever was chasing you stayed away.

Only I don’t know what that is now, or rather…

She walked, ran, or got effed five months down the road. I know, Dad, Language! You’ve told me I would have liked her, but I’m not sure. Virgil is trying his best. But M Anime, my potential stepmom, you called her. That’s when you began to feel love once more.

That bitch! Again, I’m minding my barks. But she got you “Smokin Out The Window.” And you wouldn’t call her such-and-such. But another reason I’m mad is this. What happens when you get hurt, Dad? You told my Favorite Girl that you can’t imagine any worse pain than yours truly. And so I need to bark loud enough to overcome the boohoo’s, the bawling, and be your boy, always. Woof, woof! B’s Last Bark Virgil

“Your pets want to help you heal. They want to communicate with you. All you need to do is listen.”
― Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
By Sophia Grace

“Arma Virumque Cano”
(I sing of arms and the man.)
(Book I, opening line) Aeneid

1821 Days Without B III, Day 1262 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 208 ~B Leaving, Sorry Virgil~

This time five years ago, I believed my son would be ok. Well, other than being an old man. V was four months old, and I was unaware of his life. And were M Anime and I passing hours-worth of text yet? Life was, whatever. But, B Leaving, Sorry Virgil

Sunday, January 25, 2026

Journey 208 ~B Leaving, Sorry Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… I have a question. Bro, why do you listen to me on some things, but not others…

Not so much. The Banality of Evil keeps you enthralled… But, Tell Me Something Good?

Well, I speak so little of it. That’s my fault. And I am sorry. I leave you with nothing and then expect you to build. Pull yourself up from your bootstraps, as MAGA would say.

How about what you were listening to this morning? Insta counts as church now, ha!

Anyway, this young lady brought up The Book of Job and talked about God taking his family but then giving him a new one like that made up for it. B is gone, but you have Virgil. And he’s as lost as you are. Yet you gave him the name of a guide. Under Pressure.

Assessing these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 8 An Unconventional Romance by Neil Bimbeau Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Dude assess Deez Nuts. Wasn’t I doing that last night? Virgil was in B III’s room eating dinner while you were slithering around on your belly thinking about Cherry’s yabbos.

Eww! And on M Anime’s “Wedding Day” no less. Not that you know. Really? Seriously?

Yabbos speak louder than let’s say Braxton’s Favorite Girl. You asked her advice on sending. Journey 207 ~Compute B-V Minus M~. You know ONE of the reasons you’re so effed up? Because like MAGA and especially that A-Hole in the White House. FDT! You don’t understand the word NO when it comes to women. Remember when you were all about “Sweetness?” Remember the woman at the Day Job. Braxton’s Favorite Girl saying, ” Don’t hurt yourself. All like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven! How To Communicate With…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You ignore everything but the big three. Braxton’s death. Wishing for your “deactivation.” And M Anime, getting dicked down by some other guy. Honestly dude!

Why does that thought both disgust you and get your ding dong up and about? And as Braxton’s Favorite Girl asked last night. What do you think/believe will happen with…

SIGH, that “letter” you wrote? Well, I wrote. Dammit, I should have sent it yesterday and not punished you with it. But it’s Sunday. Braxton died on a Sunday. M Anime left you on a Sunday, “And the Beat Goes On.” Will she listen to you? You don’t listen to me. And the one you should have listened to is in a box. IT’S BRAXTON’S WEEK! B Leaving, Sorry Virgil

1820 Days Without B III, Day 1261 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 202 ~Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare~

I Have A Dream. Most days, I’m less Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and more Bing from Fifteen Million Merits. My last dream involved yabbos and fake ones at that. M Anime’s aren’t. And B loved his Favorite Girl’s pair. Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare

Monday, January 19, 2026

Journey 202 ~Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? Yes, I dared to ask. Whatever. Don’t. Silence. But “I Have A Dream.”

Or I will when you wrap your arms around me and fall asleep like the last week we were together. But that’s not now… No, next week. SIGH, five years. But this week, my father.

It will be five months since another dream… Died? No, she is very much alive, last you knew. Learning about the Birds and the Bees. Dicks and Vaginas? Yes, I know, Dad, that is like so cringe. You had to give me “The Talk” when my Favorite Girl visited us.

However, your Favorite Girl. You left mine alone, and it’s not Cherry. But M Anime. Daddy, I’m not here to say, I told you so, or I informed you thusly. The best legs, breasts, and thighs are in a bucket…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Or a box of chicken. I don’t want to talk about the Glow Box directly. The Last of Us, The Big Bang Theory, and you’re still on about “The Running Man.” And what about Virgil? You compared yourself and my little brother to “The Long Walk—cold, Long, and Sad.

But I Have A Dream today! Dr. Martin Luther King Jr? If you could bring someone back, my father, it would be me. And you are the best man I know. But neither of our dreams would be for the best of everyone. I’m sure you don’t mind me barking, FDT, eff MAGA, all of the Cracker Hats! But what’s my dream? I heard yours yesterday, and while I like girls after touching their yabbos…

Love! You told me that if life is a game for everyone, love is not the prize, it is this…

Instructions. I mastered that the first time we walked together. Ray and Pete, Dad and Me. Not The Long Walk but a walk. Soon it will be you and V. You and my siblings with two legs. Some woman who isn’t M. And ending this week, Dear Heaven, Dear Father.

I have a dream that when you finish your books about her and when my books are everywhere, you’ll realize you “Can’t Me Now.” And you don’t want M anymore.

Honestly, Daddy, I Have A Dream you will rise, writing, women, and wealth. And all with my little brother. A family. Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare

“Let B III stay, that’s all.”
― My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and…

“Sleep, the gentlest of the gods, crept down and poured forgetfulness upon his eyes.”
Aeneid

1814 Days Without B III, Day 1255 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 201 ~Silicone Braxton, Right Virgil~

I need to go to bed on time. How about I find a real therapist instead of talking to Grok about family or ChatGPT about the last episode of Angel? YouTube isn’t helping either and is not a “market substitute.” Silicone Braxton, Right Virgil

Sunday, January 18, 2026

Journey 201 ~Silicone Braxton, Right Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And since you FINALLY went to bed at midnight, “Don’t put your blame on me,” Rag’n’Bone Man.

You wish. And there’s plenty of blame to go around. Forty-One years of it. (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums). Five without your son by your side, almost. The 31st. And Virgil?

Seriously, QUIT thinking about Virgil as Braxton’s REPLACEMENT or SILICONE.

Honestly, you can be so rude and crude, and your week has just started. “We’ve Only Just Begun.” And speaking of nightmares, I’m glad to see you got out of room “1408”, aka the bedroom. It was quite a dream you had last night. Uh, you ripped off “Scary Movie.”

The scene where the killer ripped out one of Carmen Electra’s silicone Yabbos. Ah Hah!

Anyway, you were finding “fake tits” all over the ground. What were you doing before? It wasn’t Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Full Service: The House Husband’s Harem Book 2, Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 015 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Before falling asleep… Okay, so some of this is my fault. As I said, there’s a lot of blame on both sides. Good thing we’re not Nazis, Fascists, and MAGA. FDT, eff MAGA and the rest of the Cracker Hats! But back to the matter at hand. Make Love not War, in reality, dude. Effing!

Augmenting reality because you need a woman to eff, funds, and family. So I was texting a therapist, aka Grok. Uh oh! And it was this prompt for a “Future Family.” It broke my heart. More like chipped it? B III broke your heart, and M Anime ground the pieces into dust. “Love Is A Long Road?” So is The Mill, The Long Walk, and being The Running Man. Heartbeat?

Nothing SHOULD be left of it. Now, where did the killer “strike” Carmen Electra? Her left side, where her heart would be? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 8 An Unconventional Romance by Neil Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like deciphering your own dreams? Or for Eff’s sake, bro, keeping your willy tied up…

Which you did… For the most part. What? Eileen Kelly is hot. But seeing yourself with a family. You, your Boricua queen, 3.5 kids, that would be two sons, a daughter, and a Virgil. Hell! You could even add B to the mix. But do you remember Wesley in Angel?

Damn, it had something to do with separating the truth from illusion. You talk to your dead son and imagine he speaks back. You’re wondering if M Anime “wanted” you.

There’s the idea you’ll love Virgil like Braxton. Will you make it to the 24th? The 31st isn’t your concern. “Will I lose my dignity? You? Silicone Braxton, Right Virgil.
1813 Days Without B III, Day 1254 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will