Saga 337 ~What’s Past B, Virgil~

“What we’ve done, we’ve done.” “We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.” TWD. I said I’d never be afraid again. I went to the Day Job. I’d never be a Dad again. 2V’s on the stairs. Boobs. Uh, am I awake? What’s Past B, Virgil?

Saturday, June 3, 2023

Saga 337 ~What’s Past B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Should I give up being a trillionaire? As much as I should, seeing Braxton alive again.

I can’t! Not in this existence, at least. Or, as Tupac put it, “Bury me in pieces cause they fear reincarnation.” That’s what I need today (sigh). To see Braxton’s ashes. Uh, that’s a no. I’ve said before, Lady Lunalesca. Anytime I’m afraid, awkward, or just being asinine. I need only think of my “Lost Boy,” and everything pales compared to my worst crime. It’s like when I’m meditating, and they say, focus on your breath. Lunalesca, that’s B III. Braxton wasn’t here a few minutes ago… Please! Of course, he was. Lunalesca, I know. Hell! I could hear him grumbling as I rushed around like a chicken with its head cut off ha-ha. Fear is something I can never leave in the past, Lunalesca.

And you know I’m trying, but then as the song goes, “I take a look at my enormous penis and…” Hell! I might as well bust out Sade’s “Is It a Crime?” Lunalesca? Yeah. Yesterday it was the Day Job because, of course, it is. It’s like being a little boy or back in high school and busting my balls. Pretty much The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident and The Cherry Collision. That’s my STUPIDITY —confessions for Inspector Echo, Lunalesca. FEAR makes me STUPID. Strong, Speedy, Sexual… wait? We’re not talking about my first time, are we? Sick, Savage, but Salvation bound… screaming, oh my God. Okay, I’ll stop. That’s in the past. And instead of the first or last time, I had some “relations….” Yesterday?

There was my fear. And you know how I get over that. Effing! Or at least dreaming, imagining, envisioning, so I can’t forget about The Pic Phenomenon. That’s the past? Lunalesca, try this morning. How I miss my puppy. And what about Virgil, Lady Lu?

Anyway, there are all the pictures… porno. Because I can’t make a gallery for Braxton. And I only want to show that Virgil is alive daily. Lunalesca, Pornography? Something I can’t leave in the past… My feet are still planted in the veterinarian’s office. Lunalesca, my existence should be in the past, along with Braxton’s. But here I am. I’m panicking over a smartphone, spending money, and seeing plenty of Yabbos. It’s Saturday morning. The Past? What’s Past B, Virgil?

853 Days Without B III, Day 294 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

What I “pray” for more than B’s return is a zombie apocalypse. They don’t scare me. Neither do ghosts or succubi. Dude wrote 19 books, and I can’t do one. Even when B was talking to me. Is he talking to V when I leave? B Leaving Ghosts Virgil

Friday, June 2, 2023

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I’ll hire an army of psychiatrists, pet psychics, and paranormal experts. Tell them my stories…

It’s “Times Like These,” when I find it pretty damn impossible to commit any crimes… And when I’m sitting here at the dining room table. While Virgil lies upstairs crying, Sophia. It’s when the only thing I want to do is lie in bed. And before B guards, he cuddles. Is that why I was scooting further and further away this morning? What do the holy rollers say? Save room for the Holy Spirit? I wanted room for my Braxton. Is that why I destroyed his pillow by accident? He didn’t want V to have it… But everything else, hmm? I should stop reading all these ghost stories, supernatural shenanigans. And stuff on spirits. Speaking of which, I should buy some while I’m out today.

Excuse me for making a shopping list. I continue to time travel. And today is still Memorial Day, Monday, May 29, 2023. People mourn soldiers. Oh, and if they could only see what has become of this country. I don’t intend to write something on the state of politics. I’m a black writer, but what have I been reading, Sophia? My usual fanfare, right? You know. Satan’s Sorority Girls, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes… wtf happened to Lucy Gray Baird? And yet again, I’m listening to Succubus Lord 9. A deal with Hell? Been there. AHEM! Where’s that shopping list again? Um, I need light bulbs, sugar, and dog food. Lady Sophia, I don’t plan to make Virgil a ghost soon. I killed Braxton.

I scream that inside my head so often. Why should I be surprised I can’t hear B trying to talk to me? I keep mentioning that Virgil is not his reincarnation. I know that, Sophia. Only as I was saying, I heard Virgil crying today, and between not cuddling either… Monster? I am not a good man, Sophia. And in all the horrors I’ve seen. It’s people that are the worse. Braxton and I were like Scooby and Shaggy. To Virgil, I am the villain. There’s the fact that B’s smell must cover everything even now. V sees dead doggies. Zombies? How about ghosts since Virgil cries buckets when I leave? Is B III haunting? Something good for V? Trade places B Leaving Ghosts Virgil.

852 Days Without B III, Day 293 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 330 ~B A Second, Virgil~

Second place, second-class, second rate… Um, give me a second to explain. Do I? What have I told Virgil? How many seconds have I saved, spent, and squandered? Even when I go out to make sure there’s food. Well, V can expect seconds B A Second, Virgil

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Saga 330 ~B A Second, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I have all the time in the world. I want it all, Lady Lunalesca.

Well, in more ways than one. I mean, I can always go to my GOP ideology… I want it all. But what about the Dems and/or Liberals? Biden’s not my first, second, or third choice. Why am I so political this morning, Lady Lunalesca? The first choice hurts too much. Braxton? He’s always looking out for me, even now. Of course, you know what my second choice was after Braxton. Should V consider himself lucky nowadays? Um, to be honest… He and Braxton… AHEM “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” Because to be the center of my attention? I swear, anything that is my first choice. “You Always Hurt The One You Love.” Braxton, Boobies, the boy? I wake up failing Braxton; been looking at boobs. Virgil’s here.

Then again, he might be second, Lunalesca. I found another fur baby before a female. Lunalesca, I don’t mean to sound like some Incel. I read something about calling women females. Everyone needs a second for everything we dictate, do, um, diddle. It seems. Ha! Not that I’m thinking about those last two incidents. I’m still imagining “The Pic Phenomenon.” Man will always choose darkness over any light. Artistic quality. Lunalesca, there is plenty of light even in the dark. But Braxton was/is my light. Lunalesca, I’ve always hated those types that have to be affected by something to see reason. Like a man having a woman to see other women as such. Second-class, never! How about putting “God’s words” above one little voice? Hmm!

Whether you’re Bangin’ on a Trash Can or trying to Think Big. Doug, Lady Lunalesca. Hell! I always have a second for some dumb pop culture reference. That’s another thing. Why must everything be second to someone else? My reasons to become a billionaire, Lu. Because only then will I have the right to be first; I feel To live instead of exist. As always, I feel like that little boy playing Mario Kart with the neighbor kid, demanding second. Now I don’t mean the food. I mean the place. Because if I were ever to get first in racing… Braxton and I were boobs. We were a beautiful pair. Damn, near perfect! Equal. Loved. Need a second? Braxton, you, Virgil. B A Second, Virgil.

846 Days Without B III, Day 287 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

Can you hear me now? Good. Those commercials, hmm? I’m lucky to hear anything besides, “That will be $175.00.” Then my ear would get slammed like an episode of Family Guy. Me and my big mouth and massive bills. “Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…”

Friday, May 26, 2023

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so bills? What bills? All the ones I paid for Braxton? The man? Oh yeah, duck…

Bill. As in, I would never shut up? Unless I was doing something else like this morning. I failed once again. And after such a “productive” moment. At least it didn’t lead to a bill. I swear that morning, Friday, January 29, 2021. I would only be paying for a few more meds. I figured. I already had the story in my head… an upset stomach, hardhead B. “As I was saying, I don’t want to read my Dæmon’s vet bill.” That’s from “Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~.” Is it strange that I’m listening to Succubus Lord 8 yet again? Sophia, I’m also reading another Eric Vall novel, Satan’s Sorority Girls. The things I hear. That is to say, with what I did today.

Besides playing a porno in my head with two English roses, I mean. Hell! I was into those two before Eric Vall started talking about one of his chicks. But ok, Sophia, the good news. So this morning, I was getting all spiffy about to head to the urgent care clinic about my bum ear. -cost, the lack of actual “caring,” and the worse customer service. I know you’re not Yelp. Anyway, besides B III, the story of my existence is FEAR. So I’m rutting about in my ear, and voilà. This big chunk of ear wax comes popping out, and suddenly water. I could hear the water in the sink gushing for the first time in days. It didn’t make me burst into tears.

Hell! Sophia, I’ve said I would take any physical pain over my mental anguish. Haven’t I languished over The Pic Phenomenon from Thursday, May 18, 2023, my Lady? But once that effing thing got out of my ear, it’s like even that disappeared. Standing there, I heard everything I needed to hear. “We gon’ be alright,” Lady Sophia. Now, I wish I could believe that. I saved $175.00. I didn’t hear the words sick, starving, or sleep. As much as I want to “sleep forever.” Trust me, Sophia; I have said much worse. So Braxton would have if Bill had to come back. Or upon seeing the payment to put him to sleep. No price is too high. Virgil lives. Always. Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…

845 Days Without B III, Day 286 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 323 ~Virgil’s Business Bugs B~

“Well, you can tell by the way I roll, shorty, that I’m a ladies’ man. A businessman.” While B III was here. Trying to win the maid or spending money on his favorite girl. And now existing… more like slavery. How dare I? Virgil’s Business Bugs B

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Saga 323 ~Virgil’s Business Bugs B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I don’t know what for. I got wealthy Olds? Nah! No boobs, books, or bureaucracy.

What? Do I need to be any more depressed at the end of the week? I was annoyed; what was it? Monday, Tuesday, or both? When I couldn’t “watch” wrestling. Oh! I was all “jerk to divas” (Twitter), no doubt Lady Lunalesca. But actual television. Effing nightmares. Lunalesca, it’s been all porn. And seeing how I’ve had to restart my… celibacy, abstinence… Should we call it sobriety? It’s been three days and counting. SHE’S not helping. Case No. 7906243 – What’s Under The Jacket? with Lulu Chu | Shoplyfter. What about My Dirty Maid Destiny Slams Her Cuban Big Ass On My Cock? There’s Ashley Graham. If you’re wondering what got me out of bed… More like it woke me up. Depression at missing Braxton?

You must be sick to death of hearing about him, Lady Lunalesca. The highlight of my week. A few precious minutes of meditation. Thinking of something to be grateful for, always being Braxton’s Dad. Next came sleep. And then there’s writing which explains the conversation we’re having right now. And why my underwear isn’t at my ankles this very second? Because this is my business. Lady Lunalesca, business, existing… Effing. Don’t I wish? Do you know how many pornstars there are when looking up Shoplyfter? And here Virgil has left me all by my lonesome. More like I put him in B’s room for now. Ain’t like he’s coming to look for me. He wants to live long enough to figure out what he’s doing.

Because it ain’t taking B’s place. Not that he ever could. To keep existing Lunalesca? Please! You can relax. I haven’t taken a painkiller today. And the last time I touched a gun… Well, it sort of spoiled my meditating mood. I was hearing things. It was something creaking. How about something I have to pay for? Again not the crux of my sadness, Lu. But we’ve talked about my big three pornos. And then my three elements of gratitude. With depression comes my boy, blogging, and an effing ton of bucks needed. Uh, food? Hell! If my “father” were here, I wouldn’t mind starving. B, I wouldn’t mind “living.” Because he was a “good dog,” and what’s best for business. Virgil’s Business Bugs B

839 Days Without B III, Day 280 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

I write stuff. Not the right stuff or the white stuff. “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Prolific? There’s “All I wanted was to see her naked.” Then there are website developers and things for The Boys. “Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…”

Friday, May 19, 2023

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I would never have to write again. I love writing (every day…) but… the dream.

I don’t blame Braxton for saying, “bye.” More like “later.” Like father like son, Sophia. Though how many times have I written about Braxton’s last WORDS? “Why can’t I stay?” That’s from Angel, Season 5. Episode 15 “A Hole in the World.” But again, Lady Sophia, father, and son. How dare I say Braxton’s best days were/are sitting on the loveseat with me watching crap. I’ve told B III’s story. How he knew and would leave his toy with me. If anything, it beat him sitting under the table. Waiting for me to write anything that could resemble crap. I would go to the library. There was me writing alone as he went to bed. And here we are two years after. Have I published…

I don’t blame Virgil for being bored, either. Hell! I went most of the day without speaking to him. I wish I could say I was writing. Oh, I was hitting keys. But that was only to watch other people’s stories. And I wish that it was only that. I’m lazy but plenty worse, Sophia. And then there’s all the right, white, write stuff—words with many meanings. It’s not like living, surviving, and existing. I can tell one from the other. Doing anything… For Braxton or Virgil, The Boys? I hate how in this head, there’s already a story being… let’s say, edited? Hell! I have been thinking it’s gone on way too long daily. But V’s tale, Sophia? I still can’t read him.

I will blame myself for that. At least I don’t have to type the words, delete, block, and eff off. That would give me even less time to be with B. Please! Writing now. Sophia, it could be so much worse. All the novels, notes, and nothing poetry written and disgusted with myself. Over what I wrote last night. Yeah, typing into a search bar. Doctors would have a field day. Not that I’m going to see one soon. I don’t need the bills, ok? Despite knowing something is very wrong with me. In a physical sense, to be sure. And the answer is always the same. Only it didn’t save Braxton. Or solidify Virgil, and I’s friendship. The Boys say Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…

838 Days Without B III, Day 279 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 316 ~B Said Mama, V~

The first girl that won B over I’d choose. The first two were related to us. The third, he was leading to the bedroom. “What, Daddy, what’s wrong with her?” Never got to a fourth. Hasn’t been a woman in this house since he’s been gone. B Said Mama, V

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Saga 316 ~B Said Mama, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. As you know, Lady Lunalesca, we Billionaires are the biggest crybabies. I already started for Braxton…

Well, at least he’s part of why I’m crying now. Hell! He didn’t see me cry the day we met. I have to ease up on meditation. Last night, during the session, I was told to think of something that made me feel good. I’m sad to admit that B was nowhere to be found. What I thought about was being in bed sleeping. It could be worse, Lady Lunalesca. Already as the song goes, “Pretend that we’re dead.” I was that before Braxton. After… But anyway, the night I first met him, I couldn’t cry. He was this little “ball of fluff” I always wanted, even if I forgot. And there he was, being hugged by his new mom. I’ll be a monkey’s uncle…

If that. A brother or the other human that he had. Because the question became, “Where is your mother?” Braxton’s mom was everywhere. Now I didn’t mean that the way it sounded… Don’t my nephews have two different daddies? Shut-up! So B III’s mom, ha. What about my Ma? I haven’t seen her since Granddaddy’s funeral on Monday, January 30, 2023. Lunalesca, I’m sure I’ve talked to her after that. I’m a “man” who wants a family but can’t provide for one, that’s for damn sure. I have $5,000 in my name. Feeling lucky, hmm? And again, manhood and fatherhood. Nope! I texted her about the garbage bill. I think. But as far as getting a hug from her. I smelled worse than the corpse.

That was so not cool, I know. I still think about what I said to M Anime’s racial slur. Yep. You know Lady Lunalesca, I want to do much more than hug her; when it came to Braxton and his Aunt Carolina’s yabbos. Hell! He would have called her Ma as he led her to the bedroom. I do miss her “platonic” hugs. And I always said I would find him a hug. One more promise that I didn’t keep. Write a damn tab. No, I’m not mad, Luna. Looking at the date, and I’m cold. I don’t get enough hugs. My voice is like ice, to be sure. And something’s hard like ice. Finding a mom for Braxton… and Virgil. B Said Mama, V

832 Days Without B III, Day 273 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

What am I going to read? Even if all I did was meditate, my head would be, “EXTRA, EXTRA, read all about it,” B III is still gone. I’ll read his medicine bottles. The TV will show the GOP get away with everything. And books? Lying With B, Virgil

Friday, May 12, 2023

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can lie forever and a day. Right, CNN? But comedy comes in threes…

As in my son B III, Triple, or it’s hip to B squared. Hell! I was about to say, “I feel,” like a killer. Only we know the truth, Lady Sophia. As the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Yes! Even now, I refuse to admit my boy is dead. I know he is. But every day, I call Braxton! You know I talk to him more than I do, Virgil. Even now, Virgil is dead center in the bed, and I moved over. He’s not my son. I wish I wanted; I wouldn’t be like this. Not his fault. Only I do believe it was B that was speaking to me on that day. But what now, B III? Braxton, lying about everything you.

Let’s focus on me, which you can see above. I don’t know why I decided to come clean today. Just because. You’re not Inspector Echo. And if Braxton were here… I’d know better. What about Nelson Mandela… “It’s never too late to do the right thing.” He wasn’t talking about the angle of the dangle… So why did I want to lie about it for so long, Sophia? Can I stop talking about my “Enormous Penis?” I swear I’ll start anew at 9:00 AM. Anyway, you know how I hate liars. And everything I have read this week has been about some liar. At least, “That’s why I’m starting with me.” Everything seems to be pointing to me getting out of bed. Braxton ain’t here.

And even if he were, I would be on the loveseat. Or better, at the dining room table writing away. I would tell him and me that I’m doing this to give us a better life. But I exist, sigh. And I want to say I’m trying. But that would be one more lie. I mean, even when I read… Again I’m reading The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes. Yet it’s only a chapter or two a day. And today being Friday or even tomorrow, I’ll read “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Contract.” Lady Sophia, it’s all so I can keep up with a book a week, hmm. Good news. Like I’m doing something “Successful.” When I instead be Lying With B, Virgil.

831 Days Without B III, Day 272 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 309 ~Braxton, The Charge, Virgil~

I never wanted to be a president or king. There was a time I wanted to be Dennis Hof, minus the GOP. But as Malcolm X put it, “I have to stand here today as what I was when I was born: a black man. Trite, considering. Braxton, The Charge, Virgil

Saturday, May 6, 2023

Saga 309 ~Braxton, The Charge, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can be guilty as sin but with enough paper… meaning green, not white.

I could use both; to be honest, I could use both. Seeing as how I haven’t been feeling well this week. I need to see a doctor. But considering the last few attempts. I get what I effing deserve! Lunalesca, who am I, the Joker? I’ve said it a few times. The comedian is dead. And yet my entire existence… So I won’t hold my breath on Trump ever facing punishment. And King Charles III Coronation is going on today. They say, heavy the head that wears the crown. Hell! Unlike Trump, I have a conscience. And the crowns I have been seeing, uh? Better not to say. But my head hurts, amongst other things? Braxton is dead. I yelled at a friend. The Day Job sucks. So, I’m guilty.

What did I do wrong? Lunalesca, I could name any number of things. Waking up. Honestly, one of the Revenge of the Nerds movies says it better… you were born. That’s enough. I’m sorry I’m so down this morning. If only I got up late again today. But my punishment or mistake? I don’t even know (sigh). The fact is I want to sleep, Lunalesca. But there is my charge. Virgil Vivi Bradford. He’s been getting worse… more scared, Lu. Like father, like son? But he’s not my son. Lunalesca, Virgil will never be Braxton. Lunalesca, am I the bad guy, an effing asshole, or have I forgotten. Virgil leads Dante through Hell. Dante never speaks Virgil’s name, though. Is It A Crime? Everything is.

Yet I look into the mirror; “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Again you can talk to Carolina about that. I mentioned her birthday. $50.00 and naked pictures. Lunalesca? There was a time I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Am I guilty of another betrayal? How treacherous am I? That honor belongs to Braxton. And to end such beauty. I’m repeating myself because, again, what happened yesterday. I’m woke. Standing up for what’s right for people. “Chinky” is not a nice word. Fetishizing Asians? I’ve been doing that with one woman in particular. Effing Instagram. But then B’s Aunt. Her getting laid because of me? Talk about some atonement. But all my sins… charges? Life. Braxton, The Charge, Virgil

825 Days Without B III, Day 266 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

I planned on talking about all the books I bought, only I’m sort of a pop culture whore. Me… sexist? Duly noted. But I read something racist from a friend today. One word. I don’t fear being WOKE. Indifference killed my son. “Virgil’s B Book Report.”

Friday, May 5, 2023

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford whatever’s on the menu. I can read bills, sales, and regrets.

How to Be an Antiracist is not a book I regret reading. And I don’t blame the author for any of my actions… Uh, you kind of did. I hear ya, Lady Sophia. The power of the penis, as Todd says. I don’t regret reading Succubus Lord, either. Um, a whole other story, I know. It’s like looking over the last of Braxton’s medical bills. I don’t blame the veterinarians. But it does show me when I did the worst thing in my whole “life.” I killed my best friend. It could be the second… I mean, if we’re talking about the STUPIDEST thing ever… BIRTH. Anyway, I’m feeling lousy today because the girl I want to sleep with… She used the word “Chinky.” Racist?

“Oh, sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life.” – Alexis Bledel Sin City (2005)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? I’m not sure yet. I’m only starting to get into that book. But let’s stick with my attempt to be an Antiracist. As if I even recall what that means. I say I was more WOKE, and I couldn’t help myself. If this cost me the girl. Stupid MF. Hell! Lady Sophia, I spent a bit of time trying to explain away the slur. She could have meant like chink in the armor. “I try so hard. Can’t seem to get away from misery” Inevitable, ain’t it, Lady Sophia, that I screw this up. Trying to understand “What Makes A Good Man?” Hell! What kind of man am I? Ask Carolina Bound. I sent a nude for her birthday.

Hell! I wanted to talk about this Hunger Games book and Mesmerizing Caroline. What about that book binge I went on? I must also get in on a new Kindle Challenge, Lady Sophia. But after reading the alarm clock, 3:35 AM. Then reading M Anime’s text first thing. And yep, thinking with my penis. Have I found a second Hard Limit when it comes to BDSM? Um, a soft limit. The N-Word in music, dirty Latina maids, Asian fetish, etc. And it gets worse. M Anime’s fur baby is hurt, and I’m yelling at her because you know me, Lady Sophia, “Stay Woke.” I need to read more African American books and more about dead fur babies. Reasons dogs don’t write. Virgil’s B Book Report

824 Days Without B III, Day 265 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will