Tag: Remember

Tale 105 ~Let’s B Patient, Virgil~

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Patience is a virtue, THEY say. But with everything moving so slowly in “my” existence. I’ll say I’m always angry. And who’s fault is that? I’m the one moving slowly. It comes with age. And with Virgil turning three soon. Let’s B Patient, Virgil

Saturday, October 14, 2023

Tale 105 ~Let’s B Patient, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And how long that must have taken. How patient have I been? But it’s not enough.

Thirty-nine years? Fifteen? Hell! 427 Days? Which is a year and around two months, Lu. And why so serious, sad, and sick so late this morning? For the record, it’s 8:10 AM. So my “Lazy Ass…” is sitting in bed. Of course, still worried about critics, con men, and Coppers, as in police. Is it me, or does that have an English sound, Lady Lunalesca? Whatever. If anything, there is ALWAYS time to mourn and memorialize. Plain ole miss my son. Only that wasn’t what was driving me last night. ALWAYS listen to B. Right? And if I had, he would be… Do you even have the patience to listen to this anymore, Lady Lunalesca? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I’m being honest.

I also want to exercise… what, my craft? I become more unsure of it every day. And that’s considering I haven’t walked down to the dining room table in a week or so, Lady Lunalesca. But what’s making me sad is what happened with Virgil. Again, he’s been here for 427 Days, and now what? He’ll be three on the 20th. How long did it take Braxton to be brave? To be bold and such a Bad Ass, that was/is my son. And he had to be with me around. With patience, “Daddy will save me. Save us,” he thought. And I promised him, Luna. But I have yet to promise Virgil anything. Other than the knowledge that I will not abandon him. The fence?

I have the patience of a saint to waste this existence, to await the next emergency. And to come up with my next excuse for why nothing’s happening. I’m here talking to you, and at the same time, I want to blame this laptop for going so slow. Which means more money to get a new one, and then what? I have more to worry, write, and whine about Lunalesca. Oh! Then I wonder why I can’t make it as a writer. When have I ever shown value, my Lu? That ice cream cheesecake I’ve been eating has more to it. The latest excuse is a sugar rush. Lunalesca, I’m crashing. I must be patient with… what’s that one F I’m thinking? Finding food, forgiving myself. Let’s B Patient, Virgil.

986 Days Without B III, Day 427 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 104 ~Virgil’s That Sleepy B~

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The best things in life… Sex, Simoleons, and sleep. What about my son? Well, Braxton ain’t here no more. I’ve been sleeping too much to listen to Succubus Lord. What about Satan’s Sorority Sisters. Plus, it’s “Friday the 13th.” Virgil’s That Sleepy B

Friday, October 13, 2023

Tale 104 ~Virgil’s That Sleepy B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… It won’t be the one of braving the highway and or talking to the local government.

No, Lady Sophia. I was too busy doing my best impression of Gabrielle lost to the Flames of Brunhilda. You remember from Xena: Warrior Princess. The last thing I need. Ideas, like I’m Jason Derulo in Want to Want Me. I don’t want to tell myself lies about my continued abstinence. Yeah, right! As if I could even wake up to reset my days without… Lady Sophia, I can live without THAT… I can’t live without Braxton. I’m still breathing. Yes, I am aware. I’m not burning books, but that doesn’t mean the air is clean. It’s clear enough for me to spend all this time sleeping. And after the week I’ve had, Sophia. One more reason I couldn’t go to the courthouse today, sigh.

Well, tell me some pretty girl is waiting for me there… I’m thirty-nine. (Groans). Lady Sophia, I can read all the books about losing fur babies throughout the universe. But a book about love? Myself? Hell! What about a book on cooking? I’ve started reading or instead listening to Succubus Lord again. But I don’t think that counts. And neither does Backyard Dungeon, I’m afraid. I meant to get the audiobook. But I didn’t try too hard to find it. This week has had me reading takeout menus and recipes I’ve seen a thousand times. And government legalese. And all I want to do is close my eyes again. Existence. It’s so hard, Lady Sophia. And no wonder Virgil is following suit as he sleeps.

I’ve spoken so many times in Braxton’s eyes. Seeing myself in his eyes made me want to be better. Virgil knows that if I look at him, I’ll see myself as… Soy un Perdedor, sigh. Only that’s my problem, so why should he have to suffer with being sleeping cuteness? Sophia, I don’t think I’ve ever read the story of Sleeping Beauty. And my stories? Yesterday, as I was listening to Succubus Lord. One of the Succubi talked about fantasies. You know of the dark and forbidden. I imagined what does that mean with mine. Someday, I may write it down if I haven’t already. Any day is a good day for an edit, hmm. I have money? Could I rest? Virgil’s That Sleepy B

985 Days Without B III, Day 426 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 103 ~Virgil, B Leaves Better~

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B believed in me, and how did that turn out for him. I believed in what… God or some higher power. Again, how did that turn out for B. V’s been here 425 days, and I believe he’s on the fence. If it doesn’t collapse this Fall. Virgil, B Leaves Better.

Thursday, October 12, 2023

Tale 103 ~Virgil, B Leaves Better~

984 Days Without B III, Day 425 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As the song goes, “I’d love to get a letter. Like to know what’s what.”

It’s not like I’m any better with it B III. I ain’t Eric Thomas. But I got up around three-ish. Tell me THEY have sleep in Heaven… At the Rainbow Bridge or wherever you exist. Existence? No! You live, Braxton. Only it’s not here anymore. But as much as you struggled, you didn’t want to leave me. If only I had your strength. Well, I haven’t cried today, Braxton. But the day is still very much young. Daddy’s thirty-nine now. Which ain’t much compared to your age, I know. But every day, I take a step closer to Doom. Gaming? Braxton, there is no time for that. There’s no time for anything but killing it. Have you seen me these days at the Day Job?

Again, I’m looking for the tears to fall. I’m surprised there haven’t been more Braxton. Sweating bullets daily. And let’s not get into other bodily fluids… Eww! That’s one thing I can say about Virgil and his having no “interest” in toys. Not like you. Yeah, if you’re not sleeping, eating, or watching me. One more reason for me to behave. I know it, B. Don’t Look Down. I’m right, Braxton. And the leaves aren’t that pretty falling. Ha. I’m leafing through pages. It’s more like scrolling, but you understand. Anyway… there’s all these books. That aren’t about grieving fur babies. Ah! Viewers like you —my lost one, B III. And still, I think about leaving this place every day. Quit with the leaving humor?

It’s Fall, we get it. But calling it funny might be stretching. Which again reminds me of what I must do today and tomorrow. Stretch out? Convince people I’m “working.” Take a long car ride. And then there’s the cash. Is everything free wherever you are B III? This world has fallen so far. B III, some government types believe that there’s capitalism in paradise. That’ll suck. Hell! I owe you so much, Braxton. And Virgil, too. Only I haven’t fallen for him yet. Then why am I looking down to ensure he stays alive and well? Braxton, I’ve fallen for worse… sleep, Simoleons, and the opposite sex. I’d leave it all. Braxton, I believe plenty about zombies and necromancy. Death… Virgil, B Leaves Better

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 098 ~Must B Nice, Virgil~

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Must Be Nice to want to live. I’ll take Braxton’s, but as far as my existence? Must Be Nice to want to see how it ends? How many books are in the Backyard Dungeon and Satan’s Sorority Girls series? Time to read, work, but live? “Must B Nice, Virgil.”

Saturday, October 7, 2023

Tale 098 ~Must B Nice, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I have many more off days. Being stupid, cruel… Republican… Must Be Nice, right

So, no, not a Republican. Despite the adage “Ignorance Is Bliss.” May I never be as ignorant as the GOP these days? Not to mention pretty Little Miss Bliss. But that’s for later, Lady Lunalesca.

Must Be Nice to feel love. And while I’m in a singing mood… Lady Lunalesca, no worries, I won’t burst into Lyfe Jennings’s song. Hell! If I knew anything about love, I would have followed Braxton. Anytime I “think” of a song from yesteryear, it’s always from B III. Why didn’t I follow Braxton? Why did I go after Virgil Vivi? Lunalesca, I’m remaining here. “Son, FEAR is the heart of love.” OR “I’ve got another level that I want to clear.” Why can’t I get to the point, Lunalesca?

Must Be Nice to talk. My critic says the same thing, asking about my point. “Will it go round in circles? Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?” Can I cut the radio off? I know! Okay. As Cody Rhodes would say, what do you wanna talk about? Virgil, outside yesterday? Last night or a couple of nights back, I let Virgil out. He started barking at a possum I hadn’t seen sitting on the fence. “For the First Time in Forever,” Virgil became a protector. And other than when he was vomiting everywhere, I needed to save him, Lunalesca. Quickly, I ran down the steps and snatched him up, something like Forrest Gump, ha-ha. Virgil is still not my son.

Must Be Nice not to think that. But there is so much to unpack, ha. There’s no time, Lu. But it must be nice to have the time. Instead, one of the managers at the Day Job is buying me lunch. Free food is free food. I’m sure that’s one of Braxton’s lessons, Lady Lunalesca. Must Be Nice to have the will, not to “think” with my willy. Oh, the pretty mommies Bliss and Becky. To a woman like Piper Niven, Iyo Sky, then Roxanne Perez. And uh, Cherry. Must Be Nice not to drool on my Kindle. If anything, sigh. I want to read something that doesn’t involve dead fur babies or a Challenge. But nothing beats sleep, Lunalesca. Duration… Must B Nice, Virgil

979 Days Without B III, Day 420 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 097 ~Braxton’s Needlessly Picky Virgil…~

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Soon I will end up in a waiting room with crappy magazines. A car dealership, the mechanic down the street, or a health clinic. With Braxton, it was an orange bench and “my” thoughts. A picky thing, books? Braxton’s Needlessly Picky Virgil…

Friday, October 6, 2023

Tale 097 ~Braxton’s Needlessly Picky Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… As soon as I find one. Best thing I’ve read today or not. Day Job schedule

It thrills, terrifies, and takes stones, not knowing what I’m doing to get paid again. Oh, how I miss my son. Let me count the ways. When it came to Braxton, money was no object, Sophia. Unfortunately, his Daddy was lazy and angry. And by my math, that equals one thing. Indifference. Is that why I want to read about dead fur babies? To feel what I should have felt the moment Braxton tried to tell me something was wrong. I swear these people. My Lady, they do anything and everything for their fur kids. Where was I, Sophia? Hmm. Reading and writing. As if I really believed I was getting brighter and taking care. Repetition, that’s what Hell is. Repetition. My boy’s death repeated.

Hell! I didn’t find him alive in Virgil. But I see him leaving me, again and again, and again, My Lady. And before his passing… okay, and after with what I’ve been doing all day. Lust would be my darkest sin. It’s Friday, September 29, 2023. A whole week, Sophia. Anyway, if I have to go and TRY to get the car fixed, I need a book that takes my mind off things. I continue to think about Backyard Dungeon 2 by Logan Jacobs. But didn’t I say something about one of the races in the first one? The Nictors? To take offense? Lady Sophia, with everything in the world today and me paying these racists anyway, hmm. There’s other HaremLit, Erotica, Carnival of Flesh

And how about all the other books I have in the Kindle Library? There’s something educational every now and again. Funny, this fascination with reading kept me out of textbooks. But with the Republican party these days. Righteousness over wickedness. That’s the easiest decision to make. Yeah, the GOP are the baddies, Obviously, My Lady. Only choosing between books filled with wise words I will never follow. There are stories of crimes that would keep me on the straight and narrow path… Ha-Ha! What about something to help Virgil? As if I have patience… sitting in bed, talking. Braxton had it easy: peanut butter, cheese, or hot dogs. Free Will? More like spoiled. Sophia? All because I’m lacking waiting room reading. Braxton’s Needlessly Picky Virgil…

978 Days Without B III, Day 419 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 096 ~CAR Carrying Braxton, Virgil~

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“Here in my car, I feel safest of all.” No. I never cared for driving, walking, or anything requiring me to leave the bed. I’m ungrateful? Hell! Anywhere I went was in service to Braxton. Movie nights, his Aunt’s wedding? CAR Carrying Braxton, Virgil

Thursday, October 5, 2023

Tale 096 ~CAR Carrying Braxton, Virgil~

977 Days Without B III, Day 418 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s Friday, September 29, 2023. So you know my day sucked. Much like car rides

Hell, “Anytime” I have to answer the phone or get a text from the Olds or Day Job. It’s never a good thing, Braxton. Virgil might have been doing good vomiting on it. Who am I kidding, right? I value the phone more than the car. But the thought that something is wrong with the car… Well, to keep from throwing up all day. It’s been bedrest, searching for books, and you know that B-word that broads have. Backyard Dungeon? And no, I’m not talking about that A-word broads have. I mean the second book. Permission? I asked you about reading something that doesn’t involve dead fur babies. Not that you were a fan of those books, anyway. But after finishing another Kindle Challenge… sigh.

Do you remember when I was driving to the library every other day? No. It wasn’t to pick up books, though I did eventually. And with what the car might cost me. I need books. Only that’s a problem for Saturday… of last week. This one, I hope, is better Braxton. Positivity? I told Lady Sophia that’s what all the motivational speeches always say. Not to mention, nobody likes reading negative things. I’d have a working car B. Well, if I could write something of value. Braxton, that’s like the car… negative outlook. Whenever you got in, it was never for anything good, even the park. For you, it was dogs, for me, people. Why can’t we stay… at the house? But, last vet visit…

That’s a bad choice of words. I’m sorry, B. You’d have given anything to hop back in the car and come back with me. But I left your cold body there. No collar, comfy spot, companion. When I carried you to the car, it was with the faith that I’d see a miracle, God, in action. But instead, much like when I drive to the Day Job. It was going straight to Hell. Not that I believe you’re there. Knowing me, it’s warm, and you’re saving me a spot by the fire. Having a car also allowed me to get fries and new toys, and your Aunt would visit us. I meant to bring you a mom. Now, another waiting room. CAR Carrying Braxton, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 091 ~Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil~

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I’m on a roll… At least when it comes to “my” depression. My flat behind sitting in bed. Then, the car, going to places I would rather not be. Like somebody’s waiting room. Waiting to lose more cash. Well, it isn’t my son. Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil.

Saturday, September 30, 2023

Tale 091 ~Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And I still wouldn’t go anywhere. What a way to be positive! Hmm? No, NOT TODAY.

To keep things in perspective, It’s not like I’m going to lose Triple B Lady Lunalesca. Sunday, January 31, 2021, continues reigning as the worst car ride. Hell! I’m sure Braxton suspected that one day he’d get in the car and never see HOME again. And here we are, 972 Days in. Oh, B’s still with me everywhere I go. Heart, head, hanging around my neck. As people wear a crucifix, I wear my pendant with Braxton’s ashes. Positivity, Ha! Once again, not today. And it’s not like Virgil is getting off light either. Let him howl away. I would rather stay with him than deal with anything out in the world, to be sure. But then how would we eat? How will we, Lunalesca?

I was on a roll after yesterday. I had to time travel through an entire week. Short of talking to you again. What a way to start the week after E-Day month. As the song goes, “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” It’s more like, “So wake me up when it’s all over. When I’m wiser, and I’m older.” It has yet to happen. Luna, time keeps rolling along. As I hope the car does. Long enough to get me to the dealership mechanic. And then what happens? I can see whatever cash I have. Coins rolling away from me. The bank vault wheel closes up on me. Because what business do I have with them anymore? Put on a happy face. I think not

Not when it’s so easy to roll it over into a frown. And speaking of rolling over. If you’re wondering what is taking me so long today to talk to you. Anything to feel good… I’m like a slug, Lady Lunalesca, slithering, slobbering, but I have not yet slimed… Eww. Being on my belly or going to fetch some lube. Wouldn’t that require some legwork? Lunalesca, did I say that out loud? Am I finding reasons to miss the car, the inspiration I need to pay for it today? Sigh…

In August, it was the fence. It’s still broken. This month, it was me. And I’m wrecked. To say the least. Facing October, it’s the car. “Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.” Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil.

972 Days Without B III, Day 413 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 090 ~Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…~

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Being in some car dealership’s waiting room. It beats being on the side of the road. Or worse places. I could be sitting on the couch and get a call that B is dying. Then, cradling him in the waiting room. Try reading… Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…

Friday, September 29, 2023

Tale 090 ~Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Ah? Do you like that? It’s a new intro I’m trying out for you, Lady Sophia.

Anyway, my story. Well, B’s story. Because Sophia, a day doesn’t go by without Braxton. His tale that is? See what I did there? I’m not trying to be funny. At 5:00 in the morning… “This is blasphemy! This is madness!” No. That was when I was sitting in Banfield’s “Waiting Room” for the word that my son would die. So much for any positivity today. Hmm? I’ve gotten back into listening to Motivational speeches… Only because I need audiobooks? Virgil, on the other hand? I should find him a chew toy shaped like a book so he’ll have something to do while he waits here. He doesn’t want to be left waiting all alone. Braxton’s room can be a scary place. So I’m assuming…

There’s no such thing as a comfortable waiting room. But we try desperately, Lady Sophia.

With books? Lady Sophia, I finished “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel” yesterday. That makes thirty-nine books this year. Again, being positive does not work for me. Being thirty-nine, E-Day, and breaking B III’s reading record, Sophia.

And as THEY say, a picture is worth a thousand words. So what was I doing last night with nothing to read? The Pic Phenomenon. I swear I saw this one girl and started going nuts. But did I… you know? Will I lie to you or myself? It usually ends up being both, ha-ha.

And taking my first break today, I was reading about how much having babies cost.

Only Lady Sophia, this bed is my waiting room. “When Will My Life Begin?” Existence?

It starts when I can pay my bills. I’ll have to drive the car to the shop this weekend. Again, I’ll channel those thoughts of how much it cost to tell me Braxton was dying. And then for them to do the deed. But Sophia, I always blame myself. And the Day Job, of course.

I should go to a doctor’s waiting room for myself. I can’t imagine my life without Braxton. I can’t recall a time I felt in good health either. I mean, when nothing is wrong, Sophia.

And my boys, both the dead and the living, are waiting for me… TO DO SOMETHING! Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…

971 Days Without B III, Day 412 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 089 ~Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton~

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It wasn’t a big deal. I’d lay on the loveseat, and B would pick a spot and give me a look. “You good,” then he would listen to me, or if it was inappropriate, he’d fall asleep. Books and furry kids. Read all about it. “Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton.”

Thursday, September 28, 2023

Tale 089 ~Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton~

970 Days Without B III, Day 411 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how we’re speaking on Sunday, September 24, 2023. You can guess my day

I wonder if I’ll make it to the couch today. And no, that’s not me being mean to Virgil Vivi, B. I was going to call him “the Freeloader.” Yeah, I need to stop that. I’m sorry. It’s not like I haven’t lain in our usual spot and read. “And it hurts like hell. Yeah, it hurts like hell,” sometimes, as the song goes. But today, I’ll be exhausted, lazy, or just plain stupid, B III. However, you would never say that. You wouldn’t say much, and if I couldn’t… books. That’s what I want to speak to you about. Don’t worry… (snickers) yeah right. Anyway, Triple B, I’m not banning books. Remember all the books I couldn’t read you. You’re a big boy now.

But I’m not. Seeing as how I’m still talking to my dead furry kid. That’s what THEY would say. And Virgil? He would prefer I get out of bed. The Dining room table isn’t helping. Considering all those long days I would spend writing, you would know all about that. Only we’re talking about reading. And I was looking at the Man In The Mirror. I spent all this morning listing off the books I was getting for cheap or even for free from people. Hometown Hero (The Breeder Book 1), Witch Girl Study Group: The Complete Series, Backyard Dungeon 2: A Reverse Portal Fantasy, and more. The year you died, 2021, I read about six. 2022 was nearly forty, if not more, Triple B.

2023 started off promising, but with Kindle Challenges, the series I started, and a need for more time. And I have a whole library waiting… What exactly am I asking for, Braxton? Um, well… I would have finished A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel. If it weren’t for running out of time or reading stuff, that would have someone reading me Miranda Rights at some point. And I hate reading anything about the bank and cash, but reading about dead fur babies vs. beautiful women and everything buried rising. Would it matter to you what I read, Braxton? Asking permission? As long as we’re together and still breathing. Braxton, I’m still reeling from your broken record. 526 Days. Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 084 ~Virgil, We Gonna B~

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I didn’t know what to tell Braxton while he was dying. And I don’t know what to tell Virgil while he’s living. But they both sat in the same car seat, and I was trying to remember how to breathe. I was broke in more ways than one. Virgil, We Gonna B.

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Tale 084 ~Virgil, We Gonna B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Alright. Why do I tell myself this lie every morning? You don’t have to wake up.

So, is the night worse? Hell! Anytime I get to close my eyes, I consider it a win, Lady Lu. If anything, I need to count “my” blessings. I need to show gratitude this morning. There is money to spend this Saturday… Did I say that out loud for real? I mean, I did buy another audiobook. And since you know Lady Lunalesca, I won’t be finishing “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” Not today anyway, Lunalesca. There’s not a moment that goes by without bad news. I’ve got seven days to finish. Anyway, back to gratitude, AHEM. I’m keeping Imogen Linn in business reading about the Pessumae Christi. I’m learning new words like “Meretrix.” He who increases knowledge increases sorrow. Right…

No wonder Republicans would choose to stay STUPID and angry. And you know me, Lady Lunalesca. I’m always angry… and afraid. But I don’t want to be STUPID. Not ever. But where was I? Oh yeah. Blacked has their merchandise back in stock. What would M Anime think about that? And I’ve been going on for days about character customizations. As if I have time to worry about the book I was writing about Cherry… to a certain degree, Luna. I checked the Day Job schedule. I’m still broke, but with so many hours, Ha. Again, gratitude? How about that the fence hasn’t fallen? But who knows, it’s dark out. Braxton would be going crazy. Lunalesca, did you think I forgot about him? Virgil’s alright.

Oh, he’ll never be my son. That’s pretty harsh. More like both he and I will never be, B III. Did you see what I did there? It wasn’t much of nothing. I’ll never be much of nothing, even after this thirty-ninth “Exist Day.” Before that was M Anime’s thirty-fifth birthday. Yabbos? I meant to use the B-word, but you know how the critic gets. But I’ll always be obsessed with them. And whatever pair I’m blessed with seeing today while out and about, hmm. Broke, even more than now, is something I can expect as well. Shopping, existing, failing. Because B ain’t here. And how are we gonna be alright without my firstborn, Lunalesca? Breathing’s what I do. That’s existence. Virgil, We Gonna B

965 Days Without B III, Day 406 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will