Journey 179 ~B III, 2-V, 12~

Two plus two equals… Well, whatever MAGA says. But at this time last year, I was reading books that already told me that. And now it’s back to Christmas Erotica, algorithms, and how I’m wasting my existence. Well, did this year anyway. B III, 2-V, 12

Saturday, December 27, 2025

Journey 179 ~B III, 2-V, 12~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or I would be if I understood Math. I could become a thief like MAGA. FDT.

No! Eff me for wasting another year of my existence! I knew? I had to wake up and say that, so I didn’t go to bed until 1:00 AM. And since 7:00 this morning, it’s been Whiteout Survival, women’s yabbos a blonde, an Asian, 2-B/2-V’s WAP since eff Nicki Minaj, that’s why. Effing Cracker Hat. And I can’t forget Virgil… and Braxton’s walk. I didn’t.

Lady Lunalesca, I didn’t win this year. So excuse the eff out of me for needing a few W’s to see the year off. Whiteout, women, wanking, and walks. “The Long Walk,” “The Running Man.” And Virgil is trying to “Stand By Me.” More like “Lay By Me.” Right Lu?

Lu or Lou? Like Louisa Clark from “Me Before You?”

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I’ve never read the book, but I’ve seen the movie… Ok, most of it, Lu. I know how it ends.

But how does THIS end? Lunalesca, if I took a lesson from my B III, I’d live in the now.

That would involve me looking up Alahna Ly naked. Emilia Clarke made it easier, ha! Damn these English girls, Emilia, Maisie, even Cherry. The hours I waste, but that’s why it’s one of my big three. Being with my boys, writing, and wanking nonstop. Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

Lunalesca, there are far too many to count and name, but the numbers? I remember.

Wrong again! I am literally looking at… Goals, Dreams, New Year’s Resolutions, a wish list, that says, “A Million Will Come On June 30, 2019.”

It’s Saturday, December 27, 2025, and I’m wondering, can I spend $5.00 on more Erotica? One more at “The Closing Of The Year.” I swear, today was supposed to be about “The “12 Wishes Ritual,” a “Release Letter to the Year,” hell, I’d take one of the “Mirror” prompts about writing. Though, to be honest, I want to delete that app. It’s like Brian Tyler Cohen… Makes sense, but tells me things I already know. White politicians commit crimes and face no justice. “These White Men Are Dangerous.” Seriously Lunalesca!

However, what about me? Am I forming a band with that title “B III, 2-V, 12”? This whole year has been a whole lot of nothing for me. Math ain’t Mathing. B III, 2-V, 12

1791 Days Without B III, Day 1232 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 176 ~Braxton’s Eve, Virgil’s January~

Ain’t I just a Bad Santa, not a lot of bucks, my boys do without, and this b*tch got me Smokin Out the Window. Four months since M Anime’s breakup. So, Christmas Eve. Trying not to join B III. And V’s being a good boy. Braxton’s Eve, Virgil’s January

Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Journey 176 ~Braxton’s Eve, Virgil’s January~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Where do I even begin? I’d rather not. But that train left forty-one years ago. The Polar Express…

Nope! There will be no Christmas movies in this house. Or even reactions. However, sins.

Braxton is gone. And even if my son were here, we wouldn’t ever watch “The Polar Express.” Hell, that film was out a year before he was born, and still I knew better, my E.

And Virgil? This will be our fourth Christmas together. And I could go back, Inspector.

But the work required being a starving artist, a sinful father… wrong words, uh, Santa. Not tonight, Inspector. “Tonight I Wanna Cry.” Preferably not from my penis. I said it. And I shouldn’t have Echo, “Gee Whiz, It’s Christmas…” Eve. And so where’s my puss…

We’re about to get into that. I had to remind myself who January Jones is.

“Fill my lungs with fear, and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Because I’ll do anything to “Say Goodbye To Yesterday.” “99 Problems,” and a bitch is… Well several. Several problems, several bitches, and several forms of my STUPIDITY. I am “My Own Worst Enemy” as the song goes. And Santa isn’t a pimp despite that pic.

You know the one from yesterday, but let’s start simpler. The Visual Lady? My stupidity.
She wanted me to place Christmas trees, and I put them in the wrong place. And let’s not forget the woman I nearly buried under shoes, or not holding the door for a lady, Echo.

Then there’s the elephant in the room, or the bitch. My “Ex” M Anime. You see what day it is. The four-month anniversary of our breakup. Or hers at least.

A day closer to her coming nuptials in January at some point. Then she’ll start making babies and get a new set of mommy milkers. At least I got pictures, which leads me to yesterday and the one from Journey 175 ~Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa~. I was going to make a video on Grok, but guess what? As Emily would say, “Titties!” Or rather nipples.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

I didn’t notice, but Grok did and animated it anyway. So Christmas Eve wanking. Eww!

Speaking of Yabbos, Cherry reached out with money issues. If she would “Drop ’em Out” all Wheeler Walker Jr. style… I’d be broke, well, broker. This is Christmas Eve, Inspector.

For now. Bucks for gas, brunch, and a black man’s blush. Braxton’s Eve, Virgil’s January.

1788 Days Without B III, Day 1229 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 172 ~Getting B’s Daily, Virgil~

It’s Saturday, not Sunday, so I don’t think about my homework or everything going on. Christmas, the crappy place I work, or some cu… Don’t talk about M Anime or any woman like that. I thought I was better, so why not try “Getting B’s Daily, Virgil.”

Saturday, December 20, 2025

Journey 172 ~Getting B’s Daily, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Nope! But even if I were, what would it have in common with broke, Lady Lunalesca?

Damage Report! These two words sum up this existence. The Big Beautiful/Ugly Mother Effing Damage Report! Oh, I’m in a mood today. It comes with wasting an existence you don’t even want, like the Day Job. I hate that place, but wasn’t I panicked, Lunalesca?

Like the young people used to say, “totes.” I’m way too old to try to keep up with the slang. Forty-One (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums). I’m also too old to be playing “Whiteout Survival at 6 AM, if you’re wondering why I’m so late this morning. Don’t worry, Virgil was lucky enough to get his walk and not get eaten. However, I was unlucky, Lunalesca.

Case in point, I am still right here, “Hurt.” I didn’t join my Braxton today.

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

It’s not a B day or a C. D? Considering yet again I couldn’t keep mine in my pants last night. Leave it to Christmas porn. Not to be confused with Christmas Erotica. I finished “His Christmas Miracle Harem” last night. The writer really has a thing for Asian women.

I can relate… There’s this chick on Instagram…. Anyway, I started Christmas Obsession by Darcy Rose. It takes me back to a younger time when I was still too old to be chasing some Puerto Rican chick. You can see why I didn’t do well in school. I never learn.

Lunalesca, I made the same mistake with M Anime. “Wonderwall,” she was not, thank you, Ryan Adams. “What I Go To School For,” then? Busted!

I FAILED, I DROPPED OUT, I said I COULDN’T, I learned to speak BRAXTON, and Virgil, formerly ARCHIE. This in no way, shape, or form sounds like Christmas, my lady.

If anything, I’m remembering what it was like to be young—waking up a little earlier on a Saturday morning. But instead of a bowl of Lucky Charms and cartoons, I had a bar of Lucky Charms and an effing arms race on the phone and then walking little Virgil.

Lunalesca, I only want a Red-letter Day. And not “Someday At Christmas.” The only song more annoying than “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” And then Wham! Last Christmas. Don’t I wish Lady Lunalesca? Because this one… Effed and F! Getting B’s Daily, Virgil
1784 Days Without B III, Day 1225 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 169 ~B The Ball, Virgil~

Why don’t I find “The Running Man” as scary as any sportsball? How about the Olympics… When they’re held in the USA. FDT! And then professional wrestling. Or the mobile games on the phone. Virgil doesn’t chase balls either. “B The Ball, Virgil.”

Wednesday, December 17, 2025

Journey 169 ~B The Ball, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Ballrooms, ball games, and as Chef would sing, “Salty Chocolate Balls.” All from the comfort of bed, Inspector.

When it comes to living the day to day, Braxton had bigger balls than I’ll ever have, Echo.

“Forty-One,” (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums). Virgil doesn’t worry about his balls. They were gone long before I became his father. Plus, where’s his spine, his guts, the yellow belly? No speaking badly about my boys. I’m the coward here, Inspector, not them.

Honestly, I’ve been scared over a game the past few days… “Whiteout Survival?” Well, I woke up at around 2:00 AM and saw I’d been promoted. It’s only back to my original place, but at least I’m not getting kicked out on Monday, as if Monday is my worry, ha!

And what do I know about originality with my latest creations? Again, something I read…

“Fill my lungs with fear, and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

“Good artists copy, great artists steal.” Didn’t I say I need to stop reading/listening to the Succubus Lord franchise? Reading, do I remember that? I didn’t do any this morning.

“His Christmas Miracle Harem,” ring a bell? I swear, Inspector, “If I only could. I’d make a deal with God. And I’d get Him to swap our places.” That would be my B and me.

Seriously, I wouldn’t have to worry about reading anymore. Braxton went to the Rainbow Bridge… I’d go straight to Hell. And every book I touched would burn to ash like Fahrenheit 451. Or they would freeze so that I couldn’t read them. My eyes could glaze over with ice so that I couldn’t see. “Time Enough At Last” indeed.

The Twilight Zone? That episode hit too close to home. But why should I read and write with AI and Augmented Realities? You know how I’m always asking “The Critic” about my writing, worries, and naughtiness with women. So much so that it’s created its own scenario based on my current “Obsession.” Three guesses. “The Long Walk,” “The Running Man,” and I want to say “Stand By Me.” But it’s probably being in bed, busty blondes, or beautiful Asian MILFS. And yes, Echo, I was busy with my balls Tuesday, so yeah, I’m back to day one. But it beats playing sportsball, right? WWE and NXT.

Honestly, Mick Foley said FDT! Not in so many words, but talk about some big hairys. B The Ball, Virgil

1781 Days Without B III, Day 1222 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 165 ~Never B Ashamed, Virgil~

I have plenty to be ashamed of, but never my boys. If anything, I’m not a good enough daddy. I have an “ex-girlfriend” M Anime who would say the same. No money, not enough, and my boys are all that matters. But to V, Never B Ashamed, Virgil

Saturday, December 13, 2025

Journey 165 ~Never B Ashamed, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Talk about a group of people who have no shame. I “Party Like A Rock Star.”

And I’m effing broke, a bum, and a boy pretending to be a man. I’m the dad of two boys… Always and Forever, Braxton. I don’t have $3000 duckets to my name. Didn’t I mention I’m glad the Termite Guy didn’t find any termites? And didn’t mention the Carpenter Ant invasion this “Cruel Summer?” And then there’s me always thinking with “My Ding-A-Ling. For the record, I can play the Shop Boyz and not Chuck Berry at the Day Job.

Lunalesca, I won’t have to worry about that next week. Don’t worry, I have hours the week after. Although I did return the speaker to the manager and caught her in a meeting with the other leaders… All women, if you haven’t guessed, my friend.

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Feel free to say, “I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.” I’m not a “Jumper” yet. But um, I think about it every morning. B, rock bottom, and then “boy, you’re in so much trouble.” How much remains to be seen? Humiliations Galore! And yet I tell everyone, “I’m here.” I’m reading erotica one minute, naked the next, and then between getting it up and posting on X/Twitter eww! I find the time for some Hamlet:

“To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.”
Hamlet

Which of those should I be ashamed of, Lunalesca? What crimes shall I commit today?

Where will the Magic Glasses take me? Will I “steal” wrestling again? Depends on where Saturday Night’s Main Event is streaming tonight. I know the WWE is in Washington, D.C.

No matter what I do, I’ll never be as bad as MAGA and the Cracker Hats. FDT! I still feel horrible about what I said last night about the local food truck and ICE. But if I do go out today, I won’t go getting my usual Fried Shrimp and Fries. Again, no money, the two guys from last night had no manners, and where is their mother… Is my Ma proud of me, Lu?

Am I proud of myself? Braxton and Virgil, it’s always and forever. Well, 2-V did spit up/vomit in the bedroom yesterday. Anyway, with me, the answer’s not now and never.

But I did get a compliment on my writing. But then I opened my camera. EFF! Never B Ashamed, Virgil

1777 Days Without B III, Day 1218 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 162 ~Buggers Humiliation, Braxton, Virgil~

Who wakes up saying, I will be humiliated today? I’m more like, why’s B gone, WTF, and where’s V? Well, he doesn’t have any bugs on him, but the backyard, the foundation, I’ll know tomorrow. Effing Termite Guy. “Buggers Humiliation, Braxton, Virgil.”

Wednesday, December 10, 2025

Journey 162 ~Buggers Humiliation, Braxton, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Do you remember the movie “Accepted?” Not to be confused with ACCEPTANCE. Do you remember TV at all?

Now, before I turn into a philosophical dipshit (I wish), let me address the elephant in the room. Not my boys? Again, I wish. But no Inspector Echo. Carpenter Ants!

Humiliations Galore are imminent “Tomorrow.” “Tomorrow, Koni Tomorrow. My Echo.

I miss watching TV. I still have it, but I’m only watching YouTube presently, Inspector.

Anyway, my humiliation… The Termite Inspector is coming, Inspector Echo. He’ll see where the Carpenter Ants won the war and then… and then? The Hell if I know, my dear.

The backyard is an effing mess. Two sides of the fence are down. The door to the shed was eaten. And now some guy is going to come in, saying “water damage” and “ants,” and give us our effing money.

“Fill my lungs with fear, and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

In my own home, no less. I would never call what I have here home. But Braxton defended that yard for years. And this is where Virgil stays. I don’t know if he considers this place home, but like me, at the Day Job/the Bad Place, according to Braxton. Virgil is here. And like the great Macaulay Culkin said, “This is my house. I have to defend it.”

He convinced Brenda Song to have his baby. As far as I’m concerned, the man’s a legend. Only I don’t have time to watch “Home Alone,” “Ali,” or “Accepted.” I’ll be humiliated.

Or “Busted” like the band, I swear their song “What I Go To School For” has been burrowing in my head for days, Inspector Echo.

Along with “School’s in Session” from the anime “GTO.” And speaking of anime that does nothing to get me anywhere. How’s M Anime? As far as I know, she’s still getting married into some harem, and I’m going to die alone. I saw this girl, and of course, she had a picture of herself and her man on her phone. My phone still shows Braxton’s last car ride and where Virgil sits… Should I survive tomorrow because I’ll have to call my Old Man, Inspector? I accept these hardships, but have never come to the ACCEPTANCE that this is my existence. And without my Braxton. Like “The Long Walk” and “The Running Man,” I make it to the next moment. Humiliation. Buggers Humiliation, Braxton, Virgil

1774 Days Without B III, Day 1215 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 158 ~To B Powerful, Virgil~

Am I confusing POWER with FREEDOM? Despite how it looks, I don’t have much of them. The lights are on, I can get up if I want, and 2-V is breathing. He’s five. Talk to me when he’s B III’s age. Fifteen. And at my age, To Be Powerful, Virgil

Saturday, December 6, 2025

Journey 158 ~To B Powerful, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if MAGA has taught me anything, it’s that money is POWER. Old white rich guy…

Also, a criminal, con man, who has no business being around children. FDT every day.

Hell, if God… whoever you hold that to be, let me switch places with Johnny Sins. I’ve really been into a particular Asian mom lately… But anyway, I still wouldn’t call it even with God. Because neither it nor I had the POWER to save my B. My Braxton, Lunalesca.

“That is strength, boy! That is power! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it? Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! Such a waste.”
Conan the Barbarian (1982)

“I can’t be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind. Well, I’m still working on kind.”
Veronica Roth ― Divergent (2014)

And that is what brings me to you today? Not the two titans that are my boys, Braxton and Virgil? What about some Asian mom’s tits… Eww! I’m feeling particularly raunchy today, or am I just being a perv? A MILF, Alex Chen, Mai Shiranui, Misty Olszewski, and whoever else tickles my peach. Beats sitting in bed all day. POWER.

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

The power to walk from the bedroom to the den, Lady Lunalesca. Pathetic. Isn’t it? Lunalesca, if you want me to define it… Record scratch… Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation… Lying in bed playing Whiteout Survival at all hours. Drooling over some woman’s yabbos. Or crying “Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone.” Braxton, Virgil, or both. I’m not picky. As long as I’m not alone, Lunalesca. As long as someone is telling me what to do, making MAGA happy.

Lunalesca, “A MAN chooses, a SLAVE obeys.” Popular, Lunalesca… I want to be Powerful. But where does the power lie? How much time do you have? Isn’t it Ironic, Lu?

Again, two titans, tits/yabbos, time…

I could go into many other things, but it’s those three, like something Jigsaw concocted.

“Live or Die, Make your choice.” Or “Get busy living or get busy dying.” I continue “The Long Walk” with Virgil, or I’m “The Running Man,” looking to find my way to B III. And I have no POWER over that. And M Anime? “Stand by Me,” or more to the point, Lunalesca. Ruben sings “Lay By Me.” That’s the thing, everyone else has POWER.

Seriously, everyone else has the time in their minds. And you remember why I didn’t want to do Amazon. I don’t want to steal time, be STUPID with it, or be SCARED all of the time. Powerful, not to be afraid. To B Powerful, Virgil

1770 Days Without B III, Day 1211 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 155 ~B’s Are Threatening, Virgil~

“It is an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.” “Tomorrow When The War Began…” Sometimes it’s as simple a thing as walking into the Day Job. Or walking my youngest son, 2V. But always, “B’s Are Threatening, Virgil.”

Wednesday, December 3, 2025

Journey 155 ~B’s Are Threatening, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… If I lived in an Asian household? Maybe. I could be allergic. I’ve never been stung. Plan B…

If I were a motivational speaker, talking about Plan B. Will Smith said it distracts from Plan A. And Apollo Creed screamed in Rocky III, “THERE IS NO TOMORROW!” Echo.

M Anime didn’t want to hear about Plan B either, wanting babies. Lots of babies! Inspector, what about my babies, my boys, Braxton and Virgil? I start writing and… blah.

All these things are threats, Inspector Echo. But you know what wasn’t a threat? And I might be digging my own grave here, but the Day Job. What happened, Inspector?

Threats, fury, and a nine-to-five no longer? Nothing Echo. Not a damn thing. I mean…

Forgetfulness, indifference… the same typical humiliations. Nothing more or less.

Seriously, have you seen me these past three weeks, Inspector?

“Fill my lungs with fear, and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

My sin is putting these days on the same level as losing Braxton. I watched him die for a little over a week. Though I didn’t notice until that Wednesday and by Sunday, January 31, 2025… That’s how the world’s been to me forever. To them, I’m all Linkin Park.

Inspector, “In The End,” it doesn’t even matter. I’m worrying about the Day Job, women, and my worrywart of a son, Virgil. Because again, my firstborn son, B III, is gone, and I’m still working at my Day Job. And that’s the insult, Echo. I blame myself and that place.

The Bad Place, Braxton thought of my Day Job. There was also the Kidney Failure. But no, I’m to blame and the Day Job. Euthanasia…

How can I put my child and the place that took him from me on the same level? How dare I, Echo? I’d be furious if I weren’t exhausted and disgusted. Stress relief? Uh eww!

So let’s say the Day Job isn’t in jeopardy. You play Butch, and I’ll be Marsellus Wallace, okay? No, The Long Walk, The Running Man references? “Pulp Fiction,” Inspector Echo.

What now? “Oh, that what now?” I can go back to worrying about watching wrestling. Do you remember me “stealing” Survivor Series: WarGames (2025)? I’ve gotten into this new game, Whiteout Survival, and in my state, on “My block, I’d never leave my block, my beep need me.” Then there’s “augmenting” AI. Terrible, Tempting, and Threatening. B’s Are Threatening, Virgil.

1767 Days Without B III, Day 1208 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 151 ~Spell WORRY, B, V~

“Analyze this, analyze this, analyze this…” I’m not Madonna, and I’m not good at spelling either. I have spell-check flag me for “analyze” daily. More so if I go into the Day Job on Wednesday and find out I effed up this week, hmm. Spell WORRY, B, V.

Saturday, November 29, 2025

Journey 151 ~Spell WORRY, B, V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… I ain’t ashamed to say that with that amount of money I’d host some death games.

“The Long Walk,” “The Running Man…” and, Hell, just being alive like in Stand By Me seem like challenges. And if you’ve kept up, I’ve dragged Braxton and Virgil along.

Only not to my Momma’s house yesterday. Braxton wouldn’t have been welcomed. And Virgil was asked about. But why make him worry about my nephews? I’m too busy worrying about my Olds. Have I grown a heart? No, Braxton broke that when he left, Lu.

And M Anime made sure to grind on the pieces with her work boots after she, too, left me. Lunalesca. What about a spine? Did you hear me babbling, quibbling, and confessing to my boss on Wednesday? Spineless! This leads me to this coming Wednesday. Same sh*t, different day? Maybe…

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

If I still have sh*t, a boss, a Day Job. “Let That Hammer Fall.” Not for The Neville Brothers, but for my sons, my Braxton and Virgil. Still, I was too much of a coward to face Amazon for them. And what would I do for myself? I traded a Panic Attack for “Anxiety,” Luna.

And I expect that it will soon be replaced by Depression. And with that, even more worry, Lunalesca. Because what else am I qualified to do? I’m the whipping boy at the Day Job and make-believe I’m a writer. And I say often enough that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. But that takes a woman. And again, M Anime’s gone. And I wish I were being hunted, Lunalesca. Harem?

Augmented Reality? Artificial Intelligence. There are so many things I should be worried about, Lunalesca. And I wish I could go back to when it was as simple as a spelling test that I knew I was going to fail. I wish I could tell you that I was worried about the backyard fence that fell. Geez! Do you remember when that was the biggest thing, Lunalesca? The coming Winter? Without a Day Job, the cold never bothered me anyway.

I won’t be feeling much of it as long as my Olds are paying for their forty-one-year-old bum of a son. Do they worry? I worry? If only worry and happiness could switch places, Lu. Now ask me to spell, “OK.” Spell WORRY, B, V

1763 Days Without B III, Day 1204 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 148 ~Virgil, Braxton Calls It~

Here I am, this is me. And while Braxton and Virgil would “Stand By Me,” for “The Long Walk” I have to take today. I’ll still be “The Running Man.” Because I’m feeling more like Winston Smith and the rats… Room 101. Virgil, Braxton Calls It

Wednesday, November 26, 2025

Journey 148 ~Virgil, Braxton Calls It~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I could prattle on about the usual, but the main sin happens… Well, I have thirty minutes. Maybe.

Make the call. Make that change—literally, Inspector. I can go to the Day Job, what Braxton calls “The Bad Place,” and be a ‘better’ man, be belittled because of the Panic Attack that is happening, or just barf all over the place. Eww! I’m going to be sick, Echo.

I’m willing it. Hell! I was very much so with everything that happened yesterday, Echo.

I don’t have to do this… Make the call. I can’t go in. I CAN’T DO THIS. Make the call.

But if I make that call, it will change my existence. And what about Virgil? He needs to eat. I didn’t eat till midnight, being so sick. If I lose the Day Job, Virgil and I will both understand Braxton.

“Fill my lungs with fear, and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Starvation? “Desperate for changing, starving for truth.” “Hanging By A Moment”

Inspector, indeed I am. I’ve said I’ll always choose the physical pain over any mental anguish. My Braxton was the same way. He would rather stay and wither away beside me than think about leaving me. And Virgil? Well, he’s in Braxton’s room, hiding?

Inspector, neither one of us wants to deal with our bosses. But if I don’t go today, what about Black Friday? Thanksgiving indeed. Did you see my last paycheck, Inspector?

Everything has taken a backseat to this moment. The back fence falling, being broke, not wanting to leave this bed. Even Braxton, which is the greatest sin of all, Inspector.

Forgetting my firstborn son? Never! Being sad or being SCARED?

I’ll take damn near anything over FEAR, which is why I’m right here, phone ready.

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.”
Man in the Mirror, Song by Michael Jackson

Inspector, what should I do? I heard once that you should flip a coin. For the second, it’s in the air; you know what you truly want. Belly or head? Eww! I’m not in the least bit horny, but me being me, I was thinking about sex and/or a blowjob. But my belly says be sick and stay here. My head says, they’re looking for any excuse to fire you. Physical and mental seem to be together. I’m shaking, my stomach hurts, I’m sweating, and my mind is ripping apart knowing what this will all mean. “Panic Attack” Inspector Echo!

Seriously, am I calling or not? Virgil, Braxton Calls It.

“I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. I won’t do that.”
I’d Do Anything for Love

1760 Days Without B III, Day 1201 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will