Tag: Forgetful

Journey 081 ~Finding For B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What’s harder, reading this, watching the back wall for 3 to 7 hours, or looking at myself in the mirror? Uh, the wall, but my eyes hurt. It’s why I prefer looking for my lost son. A problem with no answer. Virgil. Be positive. Finding For B, Virgil.

Saturday, September 20, 2025

Journey 081 ~Finding For B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… No. If anything, I’ve forgotten how to count. To exist. To my Ex. To XXX. Ha!

I find plenty of that. But I can’t seem to find my E-Day cake in the freezer. It isn’t deserved.

Neither are all my bad words, which is why I’ve been trying something since yesterday.

Limiting myself to a 100, well, 125 today, depreciating words. Censorship on my depression, Lady Luna. I swear, every day I become more and more like those MAGA Cracker Hats. But you know how the world is. The war on Truth and Sadness is Real.

Lunalesca, it’s who I am. And you would figure it would be easier to lose myself since most days I’m screaming at myself in the mirror, I hate you so much right now! But today:

“Don’t you ever tame your demons
But always keep ’em on a leash.”
Arsonist’s Lullabye

I found myself thinking of Braxton again. I saw the three dots on Virgil’s back, B’s little brother. One on his head. One around his hips, (Hurry Up and Wait), the life of a writer. And the last dot is near his tail—a sign of joy. We sat sharing French fries I got from this food truck that I’ve been meaning to visit for weeks. As Morpheus screamed, Lunalesca:

“We are still here!”
Morpheus

Maybe I’ll try the food truck’s chicken today. I still have ten simoleons from budgeting. It allowed me to try something new, and isn’t that a good thing? Though I am buying books from a series I’m continuing. “Pledged To Him 6: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Six)” by Neil Bimbeau. Going out into the world, Lady Luna.

Or sitting quietly with Virgil…

Oh, another thing. I bought a new pair of earbuds, too. Are the hours at the Day Job getting any better? Anything that has me looking out at the world. You know that Tupac song, “Starin’ Through My Rear View.” My son, my sons are alive. I’m grateful for Virgil.

And when I do right by myself, that’s doing right for my Braxton. Honoring him.

Lunalesca, that is how I will see him. I wasn’t watching the clock when I was on the loveseat, sharing lunch with his little brother. And it’s better I change these words—every single letter. When I see tomorrow, not if, when like DJ Khaled “All I Do Is Win.”

Lunalesca “It’s Time To Win.” Always, Finding For B, Virgil.

1693 Days Without B III, Day 1134 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 078 ~B Brave, V Valiant~

WillLeave a comment

My boys are braver than M Anime and I. Braxton and Virgil survived me… Well, Braxton did fifteen years anyway. And I’ve done forty-one years when it comes to my Old Man. I can’t talk to him, and M Anime wouldn’t speak to me. “B Brave, V Valiant”

Wednesday, September 17, 2025

Journey 078 ~B Brave, V Valiant~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I haven’t lived up to the expectations of my boys. Virgil? Valiant? Really? While we’re on the subject…

I’ve explained how Virgil got his name, 2-V. Virgil for Dante’s Guide through Hell, i.e., myself. It’s also for Virgil Hawkins a.k.a. Static, a superhero. His middle name comes from Vivi the Black Mage of Final Fantasy IX. It was almost Victor. He always wins.

However, the name 2-V comes from 2B/2E, the black and white protagonist of NieR: Automata. Again, another warrior. I’m no warrior, Echo. Nor am I a wizard or a writer.

Ha! Inspector, I don’t even bother to check my book’s standing with Amazon, “My Turn To B III.” That’s the lesser of many fears I have. Inspector, what’s the biggest? The one thing I want to be and the one who scares me the most. A father. My father. Inspector.

“Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.”
― William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

Most of last week and this one has been readying for Thursday. I’m “Forty-One” dammit! As always, cue up the Ben-Hur drums of the galley slaves. The same boat, Inspector?

Nope. I feel like that child I was… Please, I’m still a child. Anyway, I’m sitting in my Olds car, going to get my ass beat for whatever. Today, it’s destroying the house they bought.

Well, not really. Bugs? Builders? A lack of BUCKS? Or me being the VILLAIN that I am, Echo. My attempts at violence. Or my lack of a voice. I’ve said nothing of all this, Echo.

Why? One would have to be brave and valiant. Super Mario? Inspector, Toad would say:

“Thank you (Will)! But our princess is in another castle!”

Anywhere but here. Something M Anime and I agree on.

How would I know? Next week marks a month since I last talked to her. I’m no Alpha. I’m not sure I’ll live to see next week. “Odds are you won’t live to see tomorrow.”

“Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Oh, be careful what you say
Or you’ll give yourself away
Odds are you won’t live to see tomorrow.”
Secret Agent Man ― Johnny Rivers

Inspector, does this make me a “Secret Agent Man?” It makes me an “Ordinary Human.”

But “I want to be brave and selfless and intelligent and honest and kind.” Only I’m “Dead In The Water.” For those playing our home game, there’s “The Giver,” “Divergent,” and an Ellie Goulding reference all rolled together—the things I will miss, Inspector. STOP!

Thursday will come, and I owe B III and 2-V. Children owe parents nothing, Inspector. Braxton is owed all I am. But my Old Man… Gulp. B Brave, V Valiant

“Let me tell you something. I owe you nothing! If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you’re supposed to do! Because you brought me into this world. And from that day, you owed me everything you could ever do for me, like I will owe my son if I ever have another. But you don’t own me! You can’t tell me when or where I’m out of line, or try to get me to live my life according to your rules. You don’t even know what I am, Dad, you don’t know who I am. You don’t know how I feel, what I think. And if I tried to explain it the rest of your life you will never understand.”
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967)

1690 Days Without B III, Day 1131 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 074 ~Virgil, Plan B Wishes~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not a repairman, a plumber, an exterminator, a builder, or anything else. So how could I be a friend, a lover, a husband, or a father? I don’t want to be here now, or tell me I’m alive and well after Thursday. I need a plan. Virgil, Plan B Wishes

Saturday, September 13, 2025

Journey 074 ~Virgil, Plan B Wishes~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means Virgil would be set for life. Braxton’s Favorite Girl, Cherry. I’d have M Anime.

If only the world were a better place. Suppose I weren’t sick every morning for the last few months. Why do you think I was late this morning? It’s 5:50. I slept in my clothes.

Suppose people weren’t rushing to honor Cracker Hats like Charlie Kirk. Though to be fair, Lu… I keep saying it. The world would be a better place if I had never been born, my friend. Making a black man’s life miserable. That’s something Ole Mr. Charlie and I have in common. Except, I never mean to hurt anybody, Lu. But how does Pink sing it:

“Every day I fight a war against the mirror
I can’t take the person staring back at me

I’m a hazard to myself
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
It’s bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah”
Don’t Let Me Get Me, Pink

That’s what I woke up to. And it’s only going to get worse if my Dad has anything to say.

Oh, he will. I’m dead.

I’ll share that with Inspector E—my final humiliating day. Dad is arriving on Thursday.

But this morning, well, actually yesterday, as I was talking to Dear Future Wife and reading over M Anime’s final words to me… I don’t think she’s coming back, Lunalesca.

And while everything is telling me to go chasing after her… Too late to “Apologize.” Only what did I do? So I have to read about her exploits that sound pretty similar to any HaremLit title I’ve read. Today it was Kelli Wolfe’s “Babysitter Harem: Chloe: Age Gap MFFF Menage Erotica.” Well, minus the age gap. M Anime is in her thirties. And lest I ever forget I am “Forty-One.” (Ben-Hur galley drums) Or is that my feet pounding away?

I should be running. If anything, that’s “Plan B.” Not if M Anime was around. Like I told Braxton’s Favorite Girl. M Anime was damn near perfect. “I Like It Rough,” she would sing. She wanted to have babies. And now she’s going to be the third “F” in some Cuban guy’s MFFF lifestyle. Not that I judge her for that. Sadly, she’s a “liar, a cheater, a deceiver, heart breaker.” You know everything Profyle says. Lunalesca, honestly, Plan B.

“Without or without you
With or without you, oh”
U2

Braxton and his little brother Virgil, M Anime, a bunch of cats, three kids, and a house that wasn’t falling apart. That was Plan A. Now trying to fix the house. Is that Plan B?

Virgil needs shooting stars, “B.o.B’s Airplanes.” Virgil, Plan B Wishes.

1686 Days Without B III, Day 1127 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 071 ~R&R Braxton and Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Ahh! R&R. The Red Ribbon Army? I hated my childhood but getting to kick back and relax watching some Dragon Ball. Now I’m “Forty-One” and the Anime/Hentai Princess I had is gone. B’s R.I.P. And V doesn’t relax. “R&R Braxton and Virgil”

Wednesday, September 10, 2025

Journey 071 ~R&R Braxton and Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… E-Day has come and gone, “Forty-One.” But like Ben-Hur there is no rest and relaxation to be had.

Hell! I haven’t even had any of “my” E-Day cake. Though last year, Inspector. Eww! Honestly the cake was good. I’m only talking about myself as seen here. Leave it to M Anime to make me feel rejected. Once upon a time I would have gone all Matchbox Twenty’s Mad Season on her. “I feel stupid. But I think I’ve been catching on. I feel ugly. But I know that I still turn you on.” Lusting after me? No! But isn’t that routine, my Echo?

And isn’t that what we’re here to talk about today? Routine and Research. I’m trying…

“Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain”
From — Nine Inch Nails

Indifference? It killed Braxton. But I walk Virgil every day. I’ve practically given up the war I’ve been raging. And how about making any money?

There is a reason we’re talking today, Monday, September 8, 2025. Effing Day Job, Echo.

I have been researching ways to market myself. But for the most part I’ve been researching the Dark Arts. No, not like that? In my younger years though I’m sure I tried to sell my soul to the Devil. If I could have been Tommy Johnson from “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” But I went more traditional and you know I have a thing about needles and blood, Dear Echo. And to think M Anime made such a big deal about our souls. The liar.

Isn’t that what AI is though? A lie? AI has been my therapy, my artiste, and now with those same pictures and others. I’m skeevy…

But better to break to some computer “Space Junk,” than a living breathing woman hmm.

She was once my beloved. But if I went back to looking at her I’d go crawling back to her.

The CUCK I am. That’s something else I should look up. But better to see to my boys, boobs for my writing. Oh, “Here It Goes Again” as I was talking to Braxton about today:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

But there’s bucks to but more toxins and more books. And staying in bed all-day! Echo I did sit at the Dining Room table today to keep an eye out. How did Morgan Freeman say:

“Prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, (Will) would show up with fresh bruises. The (people) kept at him – sometimes he was able to fight ’em off, sometimes not. And that’s how it went for (Will) – that was his routine.”
The Shawshank Redemption

Done “Forty-One” years. Braxton’s death? Not man enough for M? “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked.” R&R Braxton and Virgil

1683 Days Without B III, Day 1124 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Willn’t No Rest for the Wicked.” R&R Braxton and Virgil

Journey 067 ~That’ll B E-Day, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

THEY say that comedy comes in threes. And my existence would have been better as zero. Hell, isn’t that the score even at “Forty-One” Tomorrow? What about my two boys? I’m also thinking of two other puppies and ruining E-Day. That’ll B E-Day, Virgil.

Saturday, September 6, 2025

Journey 067 ~That’ll B E-Day, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Well, no. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,” as Rick Grimes put it. How do I?

Am I still talking about E-Day? Three E-Days in particular. As you know, it’s not a day I want to remember. It’s a day that shouldn’t exist. And yet here I am bringing no joy.

Luna, it’s like I said on the 5th. No, I’m not pleading the 5th. I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat.

I can prove it. On one particular E-Day, I bought myself a Fleshlight. A few of the sleeves, to be honest. There was also a type of interactive device that connected my “Strokin” to a porn video. And speaking of video, I also bought my first camera and discovered Exhibitionism. Don’t ask me where Braxton was; thankfully, he wasn’t around. I have no qualms about my body. Then M Anime…

Fortunately, I’m still friends with Braxton’s Favorite Girl. I haven’t spoken to M Anime in about two weeks, and she’s made the E-Day coming this Sunday particularly harder, Lady Lunalesca. Having the third-worst day of my existence, her breakup coincided with the second-worst day. My Emergence, my birth. I lost a friend, but I got one on E-Day, too. Balance.

Braxton’s Favorite Girl and I met at the movies, though we’d been talking forever. Nerve. For the record, I preferred the 2016 film “Nerve” to the actual novel. Anyway, we came back to the house, and yes, Braxton hated her at the time… Before she became his favorite. We watched “Secretary” from 2002 and Extreme Movie and ate reheated pizza. A rather decent E-Day, Lunalesca.

Then there was my Fortieth E-Day, where I made a ten-page gallery of me in my… for lack of a better term, “Birthday Suit.” (Cringes). Not at my body, but at that word Lady Luna. It was for way too much money, but I’m thinking of lowering it. Desperate times.

E-Day Fund

And to think, M Anime got to see it for free. So did B’s Fav Girl. And what about Cherry? She would kick my ass if I showed her my BBC. She’s British, which means she gets plenty of BBC across the pond. Eww. That was rude. What’s ruder is I’ll be Forty-One, Lady Lu.

B’s brother Virgil is eating well. But I won’t be seeing Cherry’s or M Anime’s Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

That’ll B E-Day, Virgil.

1679 Days Without B III, Day 1120 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 064 ~E-Day’s Forever B, V~

WillLeave a comment

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Or exit? It’s getting around that time. E-Day is on Sunday. The day I made the second-worst mistake of my life. And then I keep opening my eyes. Braxton ain’t here. M Anime. My manhood. E-Day’s Forever B, V

Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Journey 064 ~E-Day’s Forever B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Ask me right this second why I believe in a woman’s right to choose. Because Ma effed up.

Don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo. I love my Ma. Even when she called me Braxton’s brother instead of his uncle? As far as she was concerned Braxton and I were on the same level, children. My Ma, Father, and younger sister; they were the adults in the room.

That’s another reason I HATE MAGA Cracker Hats so much. And yet I talk about them.

It’s easy to be an adult when you listen to their idiocy. Hell I’m an effing grown up by comparison. But come Sunday I’ll be even older “Forty-One.” I can’t get that damn drum beat from Ben-Hur out of my mind. Or is that my The Tell-Tale Heart, Dear Inspector?

Braxton isn’t under the floorboards. He rests on the nightstand.

My Old Man might bury me under the house after he sees everything. He hasn’t called, Inspector. But I’m speaking to you from the past. It’s Monday, September 1, 2025.

However E-Day will come all the same. And since “I’ll Always Love My Mama” despite the mistake of my birth, rather her C-section. And I HATE myself, so focus Inspector.

These past few days I’ve been focusing on E-Days of the past. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and how Effed I am or not. Have I heard from M Anime? Doubtful.

Anyway Wednesday, September 7, 2022 Saga 068 ~B My Age V~ You and I talked.

Honestly I was in dire straits. It was Virgil’s first E-Day living here and we were roasting in this house without air conditioning. Dearest Inspector, I wouldn’t call my Father.

Thirty-Eight and now “Forty-One” and nothing has changed as I said that day in the words of Mad World, “The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.” But ask me what I got wrong. I said I’d seen B’s Favorite Girl’s Yabbos but um M Anime’s…

It took forever but I’ve seen her sans clothing. Do I regret it? I’d never say that. But I took my Braxton’s life with his Euthanasia. And I think the Devil has finally collected, Echo.

How to make E-Day worse? Inspector I lost another love but this time because… Life.

“Life, uh… finds a way”
Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

So another year in FEAR, being Virgil’s Father, wanting to fuck. E-Day’s Forever B, V

“Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It’s getting hard to be someone, but it all works out
It doesn’t matter much to me

Let me take you down
‘Cause I’m going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever”
Strawberry Fields Forever, The Beatles

1676 Days Without B III, Day 1117 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 060 ~Braxton and Virgil Clocked~

WillLeave a comment

This time last Saturday, life was beating me down, but I had the “love” of a “good” woman. Rico and Carmen. Time keeps on slipping into the future as Seal sang. T-minus eight days until E-Day. I hate Sundays. It’s Saturday. Braxton and Virgil Clocked

Saturday, August 30, 2025

Journey 060 ~Braxton and Virgil Clocked~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… “And it’s been awhile” as the song goes that I haven’t found something to complain about.

But I would never EVER take that out on my boys. And isn’t that why B III got his Lu?

Being so angry that I ignored him, I was INDIFFERENT. And when I recognized… Lunalesca, Braxton was all but gone. We’re talking Thursday through Saturday.

Lunalesca, Sunday was Braxton’s “great getting’ up mornin’” No, I’m not John Rawlins, aka Morgan Freeman from Glory. Though I’m sure Virgil is looking forward to his morning Glory. Uh, bathroom break. And that’s because I feel like the butt of a rifle has hit me after yesterday. That’s what bad writing, watching the wall, and realizing you’ve wasted your life does to you. I was literally sitting in the car, telling myself AHEM, Congratulations, you wasted your life “Forty-One.”

T-Minus eight days until E-Day. Have I ever told you how much I hate Sundays? And yes, I know what day it is. 1672 days ago, my son Braxton died on a Sunday. M Anime broke up with me last Sunday. This coming Sunday. Will I even be able to watch WWE’s Clash in Paris? And the Sunday after that is EFFING E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, and possible Evolution. And I did say my head hurt, didn’t I? Both heads.

Effing M Anime is still on the brain? In more ways than one. “I don’t know why I didn’t come.” Inside her? First off, Eww! Secondly, I’m not Norah Jones. And third, stop wasting time. What, on beating myself up? When will I be happy?

When the hands of the clock aren’t beating me down. When I can’t hear the incessant ticking. When I don’t take a look around and see the crumbling, cracking, and creepy crawlers. Not to mention the MAGA Cracker Hats. When I don’t count out food and tell myself to savor the TASTE, and all I get are toxins all over. And SMELL? I hate breathing.

As I hate the beat of my heart, the day of my birth, the loss of my Braxton. And boobies?

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

I can’t hate Yabbos. Not even M Anime’s which I was thinking about this morning.

Lunalesca, when will I speak to her again? It’s been almost a week. Years, Lunalesca. Friendship destroyed in seconds. Tick Tock. Braxton and Virgil Clocked.

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I’ll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I’ll ever see you again

1672 Days Without B III, Day 1113 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 057 ~Will’s Humiliation-wise B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Ali said, “Don’t count the days, make the days count.” But when “Every Day Is Exactly the Same?” My boy is still gone. E-Day is coming soon. And M Anime won’t be. Not for me anyway. Acceptance, age, “Just Another” girl? “Will’s Humiliation-wise B, V”

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

Journey 057 ~Will’s Humiliation-wise B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But I have also protected my sons, Braxton and Virgil. Well, love didn’t save Braxton. But humiliation-wise… Um?

That’s why we’re speaking today, my dear Echo. Monday, August 25, 2025, to be precise.

I’m sure the Day Job will have its “Humiliations Galore.” And Braxton is still ‘entombed.’ Forgive me, Echo, I’ve been watching a lot of reactions on The Mummy and The Mummy Returns while trying and failing to protect Braxton and Virgil’s yard. So, The Hom-Dai?

What else would my Old Man do to me after he sees what has become of this place? And even if I am entirely innocent, it’s the guilt. I don’t look forward to facing judgment.

And that is why I keep thinking about the worst day of my existence. The day I lost my son. Yet I protect his baby brother. Well, Virgil’s four now.

And what about me? “Forty-One?” NOT YET! But Inspector Echo E-Day is coming. It is!

I haven’t thought much about it. I intended to give you the complete history, Inspector…

But then M Anime on Sunday, August 24, 2025, said “I’m Thinking of Ending Things.” Please! She said it was over, and she’s marrying another man. I’m serious, Inspector Echo.

But we’re supposed to be talking about the second-worst day of existence. You, keeping score?

  1. The Day Braxton Died
  2. When I Was Born
  3. M Anime Leaving Me

I have no qualms about saying I wish I had never been born. If you ask me how I feel. These past few days, I’ve been Ben-Hur, Galley Slave Forty-One. Though MAGA prefers other slaves.

Anything to not talk about her, right? M Anime. I swear, the month of August, and Sundays in general, are no damn good. I effing started this blog because of some girl in August, and I don’t remember her name. But M Anime, Inspector, honestly?

Children? The more I think about it, the more I think she is lying. I’m not the best communicator, but last week, Journey 050, I said, “The idea that I could get her pregnant.” Uh…

She MIGHT have been the one, Inspector. The day she and I meet? Wedding Day? Meeting our first child. Instead, I get the third-worst day. And I’ll have to answer her. My boys needn’t worry. “I’ll Cover You,” I’ll tell them. Will’s Humiliation-wise B, V

1669 Days Without B III, Day 1110 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 053 ~Don’t B Broke V~

WillLeave a comment

Today is not one to break routine. I read about naughty sorority girls. I got dressed. Sprayed and prayed the backyard. Took Virgil walking. Kept the creepy crawlers off him. Read about MAGA breaking the law. And what can I do? “Don’t B Broke V”

Saturday, August 23, 2025

Journey 053 ~Don’t B Broke V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if only Virgil had pants, I could carry more. Problems? Broken house, BUGS, bank account.

But not today, Lady Lu. No bellyaching today. Unless Maisie Williams, aka Arya Stark, k?

“What do we say to the God of Death? ”Not today.”
― Game Of Thrones

And with her, that’s on another level of bellyaching, if you get my meaning. Eww!

Lunalesca, sigh. The WWE’s Cody Rhodes would ask, “What do you want to talk about?”

Being broken? But in a good way? Because when you’re broken, all you can think about is how to fix it. And that’s what led me to a bit of a Revelation today. I read a sample of the book I wrote for Braxton yesterday, “My Turn To B III,” And you know these words:

“If life is a game, love is your instructions.”
― My Turn To B III

Money would fix every problem, but I have Virgil. Love!

“Fear is the heart of love. So I never went back.”
Death Cab for Cutie

“Fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up.”
Divergent

“Believe in yourself, and create your own destiny. Don’t fear failure.”
Broken Promise (Dreams), Toonami

Yesterday was a bad day, Lady Lunalesca. My FEARS, GUILT, and SADNESS. It’s like that brick wall from The Women of Brewster Place. For the record, my lady, we must remember films and things like that. In particular, Black History and what’s right and wrong. Because for damn sure the MAGA, the Cracker Hat effers want to erase a people.

Anyway, I had to crack open the door and go outside. I had to break through whatever there was to go shopping. I feel like vomiting even now, but I break myself open. I eat.

Ain’t got no money and I still bought three new HaremLit books. Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs. Pledged To Him 5 by Neil Bimbeau and Michael Dalton’s Bikini Magic.

And speaking of breaking something open, there’s Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime. I know, I know, Lady Lunalesca. ‘The critic’ um Artificial Intelligence. It said I offer zero resolution. I show no happiness. And stop talking about Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers. You see, Lunalesca, saying all that made me crack a smile.

And now I have to break through today. I have to break through many days until I make it to E-Day. And if I had to make a wish for that. I met Braxton’s Favorite Girl on one E-Day. I wish I could break into M Anime this one. But money. Don’t B Broke V.

1665 Days Without B III, Day 1106 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 050 ~Ay Caramba, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

When I would look into Braxton’s eyes, I saw the coolest guy ever. When I look into Virgil’s eyes, I see disappointment. It doesn’t help that he has Braxton’s color fur around them. And when I see myself? “Ay Caramba, Braxton, Virgil.”

Wednesday, August 20, 2025

Journey 050 ~Ay Caramba, Braxton, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… So why do I call out to my boys like this is Smallville? Somebody “Save Me!” “Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi, Inspector.

Because I’m not cool enough for The Simpsons. Are they still cool? How would I know working my 8-6 schedule in the Dining Room? For FREE! Sold any books, Inspector…

Only I’m not that guy. But I’m not blind either. I’m not making a wage. How much am I writing? And this damn back wall that I keep watching and worrying about. Oh my woman? Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, is getting back to me, Inspector. Honestly, with everything we say to one another. So, Inspector, my message:

“I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world, yeah
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don’t try and change my mind, no”
One
Song by Creed (1997)

“Say what you need to say,” in my own words. While I still have eyes to see and hands to type. Both of them are burning. Chemicals, crying, and crumbling walls. It is a WAR.

And by the end of it, I’ll end up as an early Geordi La Forge. What? The Federation doesn’t require money, so I’ll be good. Not if my Old Man wrings my neck like Homer does Bart all of the time. Or not. I remember reading somewhere Homer had to stop doing that to Bart. My father is holds no inclinations. When he sees all that has happened, Dear Echo.

That’s why I feel like Alpha 5 from Power Rangers. Inspector “Back In The Day.”

“Back in the days when I was young I’m not a kid anymore.
But some days I sit and wish I was a kid again.”
Back In The Day, Ahmad

Seriously, have you seen the calendar? M Anime was just telling me about her birthday.

E-Day is coming up so fast. Emergence Day. For me or the effing BUGS. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, and Evolution. FEAR is blinding me to everything.

Yet here I am despite everything. Honestly, I would rather give up because of “All the Small Things.” I’m not talking about my boys’ potential stepmom. Yes, those are yabbos.

But it’s more her words, Inspector, the small things that mean even, well, “Vis-a-vis, love.”
The idea that I could get her pregnant. If the house is still standing, that is, Inspector. She wants to plant seeds in more ways than one. And here I am poisoning B’s yard, myself.

Virgil is safe and sound. No little creepy crawlers. But he sees his papa panicking.

Problems surround us, and I can’t pay to fix anything. But I plug plenty of words into an AI, creating a world I’d rather see sometimes. Ay Caramba, Braxton, Virgil.

1662 Days Without B III, Day 1103 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will