Tag: Friends

Tale 100 ~Motivation Is Merely The Invitation~

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What motivates and inspires me? Virgil needs to eat. So did Braxton? In the places I go, I don’t need invitations. But I’m not motivated to be there. It’s The Bare Necessities. So they say. But to have all I want… Motivation Is Merely The Invitation.

Monday, October 9, 2023

Tale 100 ~Motivation Is Merely The Invitation~

Three-Hundredth And Twelfth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… So, of course, my primary motivation is more money and cruelty against my fellow man. That so?

Is that a threat? Consider it an invitation… If I could remember where I first heard this, Madam. But isn’t that why we’re here today? Well, Saturday, October 7, 2023. Because, much like last week, this one is going to suck. So why show up if I’m this unhappy, hmm? Braxton needs to eat. Well, not anymore since I failed him. What I meant to say is Virgil needs food. How’s that for motivation? As I was telling Lady Lu this morning, keeping 2V safe. First, there was a possum. And this morning, a black cat was staring. GULP! I needed to get up and go. The story of my existence, “Run Boy Run.” And am I running from or towards? Regardless, there’s always FEAR…

And that shouldn’t serve as motivation. An invitation to be courageous? Thou art courageous. If anything. After last week, I’d settle on this. Don’t be dumb. I am trying, ha. Ignorance kills! And if I don’t have a heart attack. Or crumble with my FEAR. Ignorance will be the culprit. And every day… I swear! Even now, I’m mad about my shattered reading record with Braxton. A memory is gone. But I read, always and forever. Whatever! Five Hundred and Forty-Two days, I see. It’s not like I’m getting less ignorant. Everything I read is punishing myself over Braxton or something to do with Boo… No! I’m not talking about Halloween. And then there are Kindle Challenges and other books. An invitation to avoid Ignorance…

Well, I could stop looking up… “other” forms of entertainment. That is if you’re wondering why this conversation is taking so long. I want to get more sleep this week. But more to the point, I can’t help what I want. My greatest sin… Well, the second. My first is Treachery. I wasn’t motivated to do much of nothing with B’s death. It’s all my fault. Afterwards though? I can find anything when it comes to some girl. Japanese, Chinese, Russian… I would have done much better in some language classes. But what do I know? FEAR, Ignorance, and Lust. And with enough money and power. Am I Motivated enough? I got up, rushing around for an iPad. Existence, Life? Motivation Is Merely The Invitation

981 Days Without B III, Day 422 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 098 ~Must B Nice, Virgil~

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Must Be Nice to want to live. I’ll take Braxton’s, but as far as my existence? Must Be Nice to want to see how it ends? How many books are in the Backyard Dungeon and Satan’s Sorority Girls series? Time to read, work, but live? “Must B Nice, Virgil.”

Saturday, October 7, 2023

Tale 098 ~Must B Nice, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I have many more off days. Being stupid, cruel… Republican… Must Be Nice, right

So, no, not a Republican. Despite the adage “Ignorance Is Bliss.” May I never be as ignorant as the GOP these days? Not to mention pretty Little Miss Bliss. But that’s for later, Lady Lunalesca.

Must Be Nice to feel love. And while I’m in a singing mood… Lady Lunalesca, no worries, I won’t burst into Lyfe Jennings’s song. Hell! If I knew anything about love, I would have followed Braxton. Anytime I “think” of a song from yesteryear, it’s always from B III. Why didn’t I follow Braxton? Why did I go after Virgil Vivi? Lunalesca, I’m remaining here. “Son, FEAR is the heart of love.” OR “I’ve got another level that I want to clear.” Why can’t I get to the point, Lunalesca?

Must Be Nice to talk. My critic says the same thing, asking about my point. “Will it go round in circles? Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?” Can I cut the radio off? I know! Okay. As Cody Rhodes would say, what do you wanna talk about? Virgil, outside yesterday? Last night or a couple of nights back, I let Virgil out. He started barking at a possum I hadn’t seen sitting on the fence. “For the First Time in Forever,” Virgil became a protector. And other than when he was vomiting everywhere, I needed to save him, Lunalesca. Quickly, I ran down the steps and snatched him up, something like Forrest Gump, ha-ha. Virgil is still not my son.

Must Be Nice not to think that. But there is so much to unpack, ha. There’s no time, Lu. But it must be nice to have the time. Instead, one of the managers at the Day Job is buying me lunch. Free food is free food. I’m sure that’s one of Braxton’s lessons, Lady Lunalesca. Must Be Nice to have the will, not to “think” with my willy. Oh, the pretty mommies Bliss and Becky. To a woman like Piper Niven, Iyo Sky, then Roxanne Perez. And uh, Cherry. Must Be Nice not to drool on my Kindle. If anything, sigh. I want to read something that doesn’t involve dead fur babies or a Challenge. But nothing beats sleep, Lunalesca. Duration… Must B Nice, Virgil

979 Days Without B III, Day 420 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 094 ~Braxton and Virgil Re-created~

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The only thing I wish… I wish a (bleep) would try banning books. I’m no book burner. When I find a woman and have kids with two legs. Books like Twilight and other dead things will come up. Me first… but I’m no monster. “Braxton and Virgil Re-created”

Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Tale 094 ~Braxton and Virgil Re-created~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so of course, you know we have a library. I hope I’ve added to it, love.

No promises since Braxton died. But today, Sunday, September 24, 2023, I will try, love. I am going to try really hard not to be negative. I’ve already talked to the Man In The Mirror, my son, and the Madam. And between all the meditation I’ve been doing today, sigh. Okay, I’m still trying. I only meant that the meditation has been Pomodoro working sessions to write. And I’ve been getting back into motivationals, only today for now, but it’s something. To be that man again… When Braxton was very much alive, and I’d write.

Furthermore, we’re talking today because I have a lot of work to do. (As if reading from a script…) and I am grateful for… some reason. Always my family, love.

And that we don’t live in a time of actual vampires… One of the reasons I wanted to try this is because, for most of the day, I’ve been avoiding the news. Books, Baby Girl. Billionaire scientists might be hard to come by. But doesn’t Warren Buffett read a ton? Anyway, this is where I got the idea for Re-creation; “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” I’ve finished reading that, but with Time Travel being this way… Now, how do I explain it? You know me and pop culture references. Remember Namor? How he brought the sun to his people in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. Beautiful. That’s me. I’m underwater, and at least for now, I need the facsimile of the sun.

Didn’t I say something about our children? They run around, grabbing hold of our legs. Like Braxton would once upon a time. And he’d even jump into my arms. Virgil? Different yes. He’s not Braxton’s reincarnation, Re-creation, or replacement… Never! Negativity? I’m still trying. V is a good furry kid. And, like me, he’s trying his best every day. Uh, here’s a question for you. Were you the Prom Queen ever? You know, The Rock? Anyway, when our children grow up, I’m sure Braxton will be pulling them up; love, wherever he is. I’d lay on him. He raised my spirits and mood. But other things rose when he laid on his aunt as I lay on you. From the dead? Braxton and Virgil Re-created

975 Days Without B III, Day 416 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 093 ~No Scar Is The Same~

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“Cause it hurts when you hurt somebody.” And I don’t want to do that… That’s a lie. When it comes to certain people, pain is fun. But I never wanted to hurt B III, 2V, or scar people. And how’s that working out. Chicks dig scars? No Scar Is The Same.

Monday, October 2, 2023

Tale 093 ~No Scar Is The Same~

Three-Hundredth And Eleventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… This means I must always be hurting somebody. And yet, I’ll play the victim. But these scars…

Heart, Mind, Body, And Soul. I want to say I don’t have a heart. But a lie against B? Madam, I remember when they told me B had a Heart Murmur. I have his medications. And twice every day… at least once (sniffles), I call him for “Medicine Time.” But in the end, it was his kidneys that failed. I failed Braxton, my son, prince. Hell! The littlest God, Madam. And talk about not being healed or leaving a scar. A broken heart, 974 Days. Well, by the time you read this, anyway. I’m way in the past. With Time Travel, it’s Sunday, September 24, 2023. Still in the month of E-Day. Oh! You know we’re going to talk about that. And thirty-nine still sucks.

My head hurts. But the only scars I ever hear about came from my sister when she cut my forehead. Or whichever poor lady cuts my hair. As I don’t take care of myself, sigh. The real damage is my mind, though. Have you noticed how I talk to myself? Hell! The fact that I do talk to myself at all. And about what? How Republicans scar us all daily. My body, though. I’ve noticed… yeah I still have The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident tag. There’s also the memory of The Cherry Collision. What do I have in the closet, along with every outfit for potential partners? I call myself as a sadist. But I’m just a sucker for pain. And what about my soul?

Without Braxton’s death and the ninth circle, I’d be headed for the second with my LUST. This blog, The Pic Phenomenon, character customizations, lingerie purchases…

My poor Ma… from my mother’s womb, untimely ripped. A scar I’m sure she bares. Madam, that’s something I wish I could heal. Again, we’ve moved beyond E-Day for another year, but if I had my way… All I’ve ever done is cause her pain; I know it. Hmm. Then there’s my son, my granddad’s funeral, the fur baby I adopted. Virgil doesn’t cry… Not until I leave the house anyway. And for now, he must be bored out of his mind, poor guy. Me? Besides billionaire status, I’m worried and pained. So many scars… No Scar Is The Same

974 Days Without B III, Day 415 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 091 ~Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil~

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I’m on a roll… At least when it comes to “my” depression. My flat behind sitting in bed. Then, the car, going to places I would rather not be. Like somebody’s waiting room. Waiting to lose more cash. Well, it isn’t my son. Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil.

Saturday, September 30, 2023

Tale 091 ~Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And I still wouldn’t go anywhere. What a way to be positive! Hmm? No, NOT TODAY.

To keep things in perspective, It’s not like I’m going to lose Triple B Lady Lunalesca. Sunday, January 31, 2021, continues reigning as the worst car ride. Hell! I’m sure Braxton suspected that one day he’d get in the car and never see HOME again. And here we are, 972 Days in. Oh, B’s still with me everywhere I go. Heart, head, hanging around my neck. As people wear a crucifix, I wear my pendant with Braxton’s ashes. Positivity, Ha! Once again, not today. And it’s not like Virgil is getting off light either. Let him howl away. I would rather stay with him than deal with anything out in the world, to be sure. But then how would we eat? How will we, Lunalesca?

I was on a roll after yesterday. I had to time travel through an entire week. Short of talking to you again. What a way to start the week after E-Day month. As the song goes, “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” It’s more like, “So wake me up when it’s all over. When I’m wiser, and I’m older.” It has yet to happen. Luna, time keeps rolling along. As I hope the car does. Long enough to get me to the dealership mechanic. And then what happens? I can see whatever cash I have. Coins rolling away from me. The bank vault wheel closes up on me. Because what business do I have with them anymore? Put on a happy face. I think not

Not when it’s so easy to roll it over into a frown. And speaking of rolling over. If you’re wondering what is taking me so long today to talk to you. Anything to feel good… I’m like a slug, Lady Lunalesca, slithering, slobbering, but I have not yet slimed… Eww. Being on my belly or going to fetch some lube. Wouldn’t that require some legwork? Lunalesca, did I say that out loud? Am I finding reasons to miss the car, the inspiration I need to pay for it today? Sigh…

In August, it was the fence. It’s still broken. This month, it was me. And I’m wrecked. To say the least. Facing October, it’s the car. “Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.” Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil.

972 Days Without B III, Day 413 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 087 ~Look Out B…Low Virgil~

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Braxton would step on my face to wake me in the morning. A reason to stay on top of things like groomer appointments. Now I remember to look at the foot of the bed for V. Has the backyard fence fallen? Don’t Look Down? But then Look Out B…Low Virgil.

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Tale 087 ~Look Out B…Low Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But does that make up for me being less than 6′? 5′ 5″. And my enormous…

I’m in a randy mood. And also, I’m not a liar. Am I all cried out from Braxton today, hmm? Am I sweating bullets from whatever it is that will break next? Billionaires hate money? Yeah, that made me chuckle. But you don’t have to worry about me getting on a sub or going into space. As much as death… fascinates me. Drowning has to be one of the worst ways to go. And I gave up my astronaut aspirations so many years ago. Madness? Anyway, I’m not talking about Star Wars or Star Trek. You know I’ll obsess somewhat. No. That’s all saved for Braxton. But why am I looking down and not up? Plus, his box is still sitting here on the nightstand.

It was the same when he was alive. B was getting older, sicker, and dying, but I turned a blind eye to it. I mean everything. And then I caught his eye a certain way, and you know the song love. “When the walls come tumblin’ tumblin’ down.” And so it was with my firstborn. But what reminded me of Braxton today… As if I needed reminding, It was the freeloader. Virgil is one of our “children.” Okay, so I took him outside and came back in the house for something. Thirty-nine since E-Day, so forgive me, I’m old. Heading outside… Frightens me for all sorts of reasons. But today, Friday, September 22, 2023, it was the fence in the backyard. It doesn’t look right.

Hell! I haven’t looked right going on 968 and counting. I might fall anytime. Another reason I stay sitting in bed. And that’s not right at all, my love. What’s my Depression doing to our family? You can’t understand what Braxton’s death did to me. My boy always looked up or to the side because that’s where Daddy stays. And how did I reward him? By sending him to Hell? Because I know I’m not going anywhere else, baby girl. And I always like being warm. But can’t my wife’s arms or our children wrapped around my legs do the same? I cry, I throw money, and it’s only a matter of time before the fence finally falls. Cold and alone. Look Out B…Low Virgil

968 Days Without B III, Day 409 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 086 ~Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving~

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I had a “phase” when I asked God to save me. There were those days I asked God to save B. Like the song goes, He’s My Son. And what about saving myself? “I’m the bad guy, duh.” I need saving from the radio. Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving.

Monday, September 25, 2023

Tale 086 ~Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving~

Three-Hundredth And Tenth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… so say it with me… You’re No Hero! I’m far from it. But Ma’am, I know one.

Okay… a few more. But I, as always, want to talk about my son, who was/is my hero. B. Be my hero… get it? Yeah, I’ve never been one for comedy as I’m not one to be brave ha. The comedian and caped crusader are dead. I wish I could add my cowardice, Madam. But no. My courage died alongside my son. And what about Virgil? He ain’t Braxton. Madam, my son was/is a big, brave dog… in spirit. What drew me to Virgil was the fact that I saw fear. I am my father’s son and don’t want to be um… scary. I mean, both Virgil and I are afraid to exist. But I saved him. What does that make me? A big hero, Ma’am. Ain’t we just. Firefly?

In case you were wondering where that bit of diatribe came from. Plus, censorship. Critics. One more reason I ain’t a hero and more like a Republican. Won’t I defend free speech? There’s plenty of which I should be fighting for every day. “It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving,” the song says. That’s why we need heroes and champions. I need my son. But when he needed me? Virgil needs me? A hero born and one in the making. What does it take, Madam? Daddies are heroes, or they should be. But with V. Hell, with existence in general? “Wish I’d been a prom KING, fighting for the title,” I swear this pop culture.

Because today, I would instead pay off a villain and possible racist in Logan Jacobs. Speaking with Lady Sophia this morning, I said I needed more audiobooks. Am I Wrong? This Is America. So that means, in one way or another, I’m paying off a racist somewhere down the line. And while I’m no Republican or one to stick to the status quo… yeah, right. I want to play the villain. Or should I say antihero, depending on your definition? I could say I’m giving myself too much credit since all I want, I’d do right here in bed. Madam, I want to write books, run a brothel, and make “specific” movies. Sheets become capes? For Braxton, myself, a wife? Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving

967 Days Without B III, Day 408 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 084 ~Virgil, We Gonna B~

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I didn’t know what to tell Braxton while he was dying. And I don’t know what to tell Virgil while he’s living. But they both sat in the same car seat, and I was trying to remember how to breathe. I was broke in more ways than one. Virgil, We Gonna B.

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Tale 084 ~Virgil, We Gonna B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Alright. Why do I tell myself this lie every morning? You don’t have to wake up.

So, is the night worse? Hell! Anytime I get to close my eyes, I consider it a win, Lady Lu. If anything, I need to count “my” blessings. I need to show gratitude this morning. There is money to spend this Saturday… Did I say that out loud for real? I mean, I did buy another audiobook. And since you know Lady Lunalesca, I won’t be finishing “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” Not today anyway, Lunalesca. There’s not a moment that goes by without bad news. I’ve got seven days to finish. Anyway, back to gratitude, AHEM. I’m keeping Imogen Linn in business reading about the Pessumae Christi. I’m learning new words like “Meretrix.” He who increases knowledge increases sorrow. Right…

No wonder Republicans would choose to stay STUPID and angry. And you know me, Lady Lunalesca. I’m always angry… and afraid. But I don’t want to be STUPID. Not ever. But where was I? Oh yeah. Blacked has their merchandise back in stock. What would M Anime think about that? And I’ve been going on for days about character customizations. As if I have time to worry about the book I was writing about Cherry… to a certain degree, Luna. I checked the Day Job schedule. I’m still broke, but with so many hours, Ha. Again, gratitude? How about that the fence hasn’t fallen? But who knows, it’s dark out. Braxton would be going crazy. Lunalesca, did you think I forgot about him? Virgil’s alright.

Oh, he’ll never be my son. That’s pretty harsh. More like both he and I will never be, B III. Did you see what I did there? It wasn’t much of nothing. I’ll never be much of nothing, even after this thirty-ninth “Exist Day.” Before that was M Anime’s thirty-fifth birthday. Yabbos? I meant to use the B-word, but you know how the critic gets. But I’ll always be obsessed with them. And whatever pair I’m blessed with seeing today while out and about, hmm. Broke, even more than now, is something I can expect as well. Shopping, existing, failing. Because B ain’t here. And how are we gonna be alright without my firstborn, Lunalesca? Breathing’s what I do. That’s existence. Virgil, We Gonna B

965 Days Without B III, Day 406 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 080 ~Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts~

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“You knock me off of my feet, now baby,” or “Take My Breath Away.” When I see a pretty girl, it’s more like Sade’s “Smooth Operator.” But there was when I first saw Braxton. When he died, it was “Song Unsung” Beautiful. Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

Tale 080 ~Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But one of the last things I would buy would be a mirror. Other than Mondays…

My love, I’d shave on Mondays when I had the old Day Job and wouldn’t bother looking into a mirror the rest of the week. How do THEY say… Money can make anyone beautiful. Right? Or should I say white, “right,” in a GOP way? I can’t avoid the ugly. Well, unless I’m crying about my boy. Next to you, Braxton, is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m being honest. Why do you think I stayed out of my “business” when he was around? I have seen angels three times in my existence. I’m not counting the Victoria’s Secret catalog -being young. I’ve mentioned thirty-nine sucks continuously? Anyway, there was the day I buried an angel. I married one. Then you birthed ours.

And it hurts. Heaven help me, it “Hurts Like Hell.” Every day, I fight to keep my eyes closed. And ain’t that a sin? I’ve sung it before and’ll say it again, “Feeling super, super, super suicidal.” But why when “There’s so much beauty in the world. I feel like I can’t take it.” “My” critic was telling me today, Sunday, September 17, 2023. I use too many pop culture references. And why don’t I use “my” own words? They are too damn ugly. And so I surround myself with beauty. My dame, dimes, dependents (our children), and death… well, only B III’s. “Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse,” I read. Stopping his heart couldn’t erase my Braxton’s beauty. I See Fire…

Or rather Braxton’s ashes sitting in a box on the nightstand or the pendant around my throat. Which I’m surprised your hands haven’t found… yet. Or am I your “pretty monster,” as in Tillie Cole’s book Jegudiel? There is beauty everywhere, my love, I know. And for how long now… 961 days, I’ve been searching. No! You’re here, our kids. Dealing with the Rebeccas the first time I saw Virgil. Hell! Seeing Braxton years ago. Love, I say it was love at first sight, but I was so blind to it back then. I guess I am now, but I’m trying. Braxton, the first billion, and the painting Backwards Beauty. It all nearly killed me. “What A Heavenly Way To Die.” Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts.

961 Days Without B III, Day 402 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 079 ~Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings~

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I’ve kept V alive for 401 days. B had 15 years. Now, what made B happy? Comfy spots, cuddling with his Aunt’s Yabbos, and counting the minutes until his Dad arrived home. I survived 15 E-Days with him. But Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings.

Monday, September 18, 2023

Tale 079 ~Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings~

Three-Hundredth And Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… But I have seen that billionaires are the cringiest, crabbiest, and crappiest people. They don’t die. Submarine…

So does that mean I want to be happy? Today, Sunday, September 17, 2023, I long to die, Madam. It will be no different by the time you read this. But “Love and Happiness,” huh? Love died with my little boy, my Braxton. And Happiness? The seventh E-Day. I think. I survived that one and the thirty-ninth, too. Somehow, someway, I’m surviving. But for what? As I told Lady Lunalesca yesterday. Pop culture has been bouncing around inside my head. “My” Existence is a mix of 2009’s The Road, Half-Life 2, 1984, and Equilibrium. Sigh. As the song plays, “I keep asking God what I’m for. And he tells me, “Gee, I’m not sure,” sigh. I’m doing a lot of that, Madam. I’m still breathing.

So, shouldn’t I show some gratitude? That’s not one of the meditations I’ve done today. And I got enough gratitude with those motivational speeches I once played daily. Ha-ha! From wanting to move forward in this existence. To seek only the will to endure. Endure and Survive? But don’t plan on being happy for the love of everything, Madam. Hell! I love Braxton like pancakes, but he didn’t make me happy. I was/am proud of him, Madam. I was a Papa. I pounded the pavement of this existence. That’s because I promised him that I would keep him safe. And here I go, crying again because how’d that turn out? Madam, with all the stories I tell myself. Braxton didn’t die happy. Brave, proud, loved…

But Happy… That’s a question I don’t ask the Man in the Mirror anymore. I don’t ask how to survive either, to be fair. It’s what I do? It’s like that fable “The Scorpion and the Frog.” But neither of them survived? One more reason I’m so “in love with dyin’,” as it were. “We are The Walking Dead,” “We are the Dead,” and that’s how it is, Madam. Life, Living, Love? No! Every day, I rise from the dead. And I move like everyone else towards… I don’t know. But zombies, the infected, and the stupid. Viruses Madam. Stupidity has infected me. And the cure? One day, I’ll find out, Madam, if I survive. Do I want to? Knowing Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings

960 Days Without B III, Day 401 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will