Tag: Breathe

Meditation 223 ~It’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve wondered where to stream WWE PLEs and the Olympics. But I never figured I’d be looking for “The Big Game.” The commercials, anyway. And I can’t say I’ve loved or even liked them over the past few years. But today, maybe… It’ll B Lovely, Virgil

Sunday, February 9, 2025

Meditation 223 ~It’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And today didn’t start out with Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows. Um, aren’t you supposed to be manly?

Do you see yourself? Unfortunately, your eyes aren’t full of tears. If anything, you had a delightful dream. You know the type… Fallout, Apocalyptic, Braxton as “Dogmeat” by your side.

Crying over your Lost Boy was the least of your problems. Seriously? You think that!

Well, today is all about the Big Game. And Braxton help you. Last night and this morning, you were trying to figure out where to watch it. More to the point, watching the ads. Ha!

That’s the guy we all know and love… Nope! You put the only guy you love in the ground. Well, in an oven… That was extremely dark but par for the course in Trump’s MAGA America. Eww! Focus on you and failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING ― Satan’s Sorority Girls 8
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The courage of men fails. Well, yours does, anyway. But being a monster… You are Braxton’s Dad. You’re trying with Virgil. And yes, today is about football. Is that manly?

Liking Yabbos is… There are many ways to be a man, but you were singing I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man with all the likes and reposts on X/Twitter. People like Yabbos.

Wanting to be the man that provides Yabbos and tells the world I’m a mother effin’ P.I.M.P. Tsubaki Miyajima’s assets certainly accomplished this. And you’ve already set up an alert to share Reina Kurashiki’s should the opportunity present itself. Will it? And now you’re thinking about Cherry and her Mum’s sets of melons. Man, you’re The Monster. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Quickies! by Adriena Temple, 50 Flash Fiction Stories of Pure…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because a man would keep his word. A man provides. A man, a real man, a daddy saves his son. But tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of receiving Braxton’s ashes. The 13th is Braxton’s birthday. And then comes Valentine’s Day. Does Braxton need a step-mom?

Virgil does. But from a girl like M Anime? You asked her to be your Valentine last year… And what happened? If I ask you how to define love, you have only one word, Braxton.

Do you expect her to break out into My Boy Lollipop over you? And she has cats. Not that you have anything against cats, but your fur buddy Virgil… And you don’t even love yourself. The day you accomplish that… Someday… It’ll B Lovely, Virgil

1470 Days Without B III, Day 911 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

The Big Game’s Sunday, but I’m not even looking forward to the commercials. And eating? $100.00 doesn’t go so far. But the days I shared with B. And V’s here. If the world remains. Dogs don’t get nine lives. And men. “Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil”

Saturday, February 8, 2025

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I should be running the Squid Games. Or have people living in a Vivarium.

I’m feeling the weight of everything, Lu. I need to turn off the noise, the distractions, because they’re just adding to the heaviness. I need your support. Don’t I always?

Depression is not a good thing. Neither are my decisions. Or my wayward DICtation, Ha!

And speaking of shooting my mouth off or other parts of my anatomy… There is always my Special Drawer. I should say Special Draws… Keep your pants on, right Lunalesca.

If I had, I wouldn’t be so unhappy this morning. My lady, I’m never happy.

Honestly, why should I be? Braxton is gone. Virgil is somewhere else in every sense. Lunalesca, V’s living his one life, which leads to a question. Besides, who do I like more, Cherry or her mum?

How about Tsubaki Miyajima or Sakura? I swear that’s my latest KINK. There’s also whether I call them pigtails or handlebars… I’m going to get all worked up again, Luna.

And I don’t need that. But I just needed to feel something. “A safe home and a warm bed on a quiet little street.” What about a full stomach? I had that via Pizza Hut. But now I only want to vomit. I’m not blaming them. That would be the energy shot I’ve taken, Luna.

Because Every Day Is Exactly the Same. So why not join my son B III. Take it to the bridge, as in the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil needs me, and my schedule is jam-packed with things to do, dearest Lunalesca.

January 31: Braxton Passed Away
February 4: Braxton Was Cremated
February 10: Braxton Was Returned
February 13: Braxton’s Twentieth Birthday
August 13: Virgil’s Gotcha Day
E-Day: Second Worst Day Ever
October 20: Virgil’s Fifth Birthday
Yesterday: The Horror, The Horror
Today: What Did I Do?

Last night, I was thinking about all the months I’d wasted since the last E-Day. And then today started with me lying in the dark. I didn’t whisper the names of my enemies like in Golden Son or Morning Star. But instead, moaning as if there’s Thirteen Women and Only One Man in Town. No. I’m Just A Man with a Special Drawer full of…

Lunalesca, once upon a time, it was Cool Devices. And now? Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil.

1469 Days Without B III, Day 910 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Life’s a game for everyone. Life’s a game, but it’s not fair. If I had my way, I would quit right now. But who would remember my son, my Braxton? I haven’t published his book yet. And my boy Virgil is still here. But… To B Fair Virgil.

Sunday, February 2, 2025

Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I know it’s not fair. You’re still breathing. Braxton’s Aunt Augusta confirmed that the other day.

At forty, you find yourself navigating life as an African-American, an atheist and often feeling alone. You know Virgil is here, but you also understand that it’s not the same.

Always and forever, remember that. I’m sure Braxton does. And what did that get him? Dead. And a father with an unhealthy obsession with death. Please! You were way into the dead, darkness, and dystopias before, during, and after Braxton. But without him here… Oh, what a world, what a world. “What a world, what a life, I’m in love…”

However, it’s with the prospect of leaving. It would only be fair with what you did to Braxton. Ending him. But it’s also important to forgive ourselves. How’s that going? With everything that connects us, this is the universal truth. Braxton is gone because you failed him. He met with the fire on Thursday, February 4, 2021. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Surviving Pet Death, Gracie Wyatt
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 014 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! You should have put saving your son’s life. At least then, all of these failures would be fair. Or giving Virgil a better life. For 904 Days, life still hasn’t been fair to him.

Life hasn’t been fair to you since E-Day forty years ago. But you can say it’s been unfair for 1463 Days. You lost your player two, the samples, Triforce, and you ran out of time on the mission. Gaming? Well, between moving everything back upstairs and the phone. But Prince said, “We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” B did.

Still, today, after a text from your father… That’s all it took to fail Number Six: “I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am.” What about the other Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING ― Satan’s Sorority Girls 8
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You don’t want to play this game anymore. GOD, how I know! I faced Braxton’s Euthanasia once again. And its aftermath. You know that Braxton’s cremation was on the 4th. And next week… The 10th is Braxton’s return. His ashes are in a box on the nightstand. The 13th is Braxton’s birthday. These dates, each one a painful reminder of loss. The 14th, that’s V-Day.

And no, not for Virgil. Will you talk M Anime into being your Valentine? A beautiful Puerto Rican woman who goes between calling you her bro AHEM step-bro. And then offering herself. Life, Existence… Seriously?

Existence is efffing wrong. Or as 50 Cent said, “Death gotta be easy ’cause life is hard.” If that ain’t the truth. And it’s easier to tell the truth to prosti… than a psychiatrist, right.

It’s why you write to harem girls, yourself, and Braxton. Or he speaks through you. Sigh. To B Fair Virgil.

1463 Days Without B III, Day 904 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

WillLeave a comment

The one time… Um, two that I liked going downstairs. When Braxton’s favorite girl and I had a movie night. And then moving things back upstairs for Braxton’s “memorial.” Virgil’s still here. And who am I, Dante or some character? One, Virgil, B Here.

Saturday, February 1, 2025

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So, by this point, I have built Braxton Barks Bradford, a temple mightier than the pyramids.

My son, my shining prince. And who am I, Pharaoh? If I had started earlier, I would have watched The Ten Commandments or Malcolm X last night, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

However, it was the usual day. What is “normal” about my son being euthanized, Luna?

That it happened four years ago. And how did I spend this fourth anniversary? Breathing.

Yes, I woke up to find that was still the case, though I was up till around one this morning.

So how did I spend yesterday? It was standard. I only left once to pick up a burger, fries, and a shake. I shared them with Virgil in honor of Braxton. I cried six times.

Lunalesca, who’s counting. Two meals, four movies, and 1462 Days.

That’s around four years. The fourth anniversary of my Braxton’s loss to the world, Lu.

I can’t help but feel it should have been me. The thought of reaching for that one thing in my nightstand, you know what I mean, it crossed my mind. But then I think, who would be here for Virgil? Was I there for Braxton when he needed me most?

Well, considering Braxton isn’t here anymore… The only mess I almost made was with the second head, recreating Lester Burnham’s shower scene from American Beauty.

Lunalesca, how dare I! But I didn’t finish. I didn’t deserve to. Braxton is DEAD! Lately, there hasn’t been any particular song playing in my head. As you can see, it’s mostly movie quotes. It was tradition for Braxton and I. Our movie nights… Then his aunt came along, too.

Lunalesca, she has her own stuff. Cherry is always writing. And M Anime finally got back to me, but of course, I was fulfilling A Dog’s Purpose. Really? Somehow! Lunalesca.

“So, in all my lives as a dog, here’s what I’ve learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don’t get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.” From Bailey, A Dog’s Purpose

If I could be so lucky. If only my sons were. But I’ve been stuck in the past with both.

Virgil will have a future if neither one of my heads pops off. If you get my drift. The future:

Black History Month begins today
Feb 4. Braxton was cremated
Feb 10. Braxton was returned
Feb 13. Braxton’s twentieth birthday
Feb 14. M Anime, Valentine?

And let’s not forget where I was this time last year or in 2021. But the one lesson from last night. Be here now… Without Braxton? One, Virgil, B Here

Tale 215 B For Virgil’s Freedom

Gospel 215 Act From Desire Not Insecurity

1462 Days Without B III, Day 903 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 209 ~Virgil, There’ll B Changes~

WillLeave a comment

Today, yesterday, the day before, what changed. The same spot. A. little more broke. I’ve read about parents losing their fur kids. Only the day before, I read about Ryan and his beauties. My Braxton is still gone… Anyway, Virgil, There’ll B Changes.

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Meditation 209 ~Virgil, There’ll B Changes~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And with all the tears, it’s hard looking at yourself. Thank God! Add to that, sleeping, euthanizing…

To think there was a time back in your existence… We’re back to saying existence. Yeppers! “Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up” or that word right. To exist here without…

Braxton? One more day down, and it’s only 9 AM. And how did you begin today? Didn’t you mention all the crying while you were reading? But before you were reading about your Braxton passing away, there was Gospel 209 Will’s Yearly Eye Exam. Seriously!

Every time we talk, you don’t even want to look at me, but the man you were back then is unrecognizable. He had no clue what was about to happen. “A Change Is Gonna Come.”

As I said yesterday, Horrible, Horrific, and Hateful. Like looking at these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Ryan and His Beauties 2
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And not into the eyes of your firstborn son anymore? And where were you three years ago after Braxton was gone? Tale 209 Virgil, B Seeing You. You sound like a broken record, which, honest to God, ain’t half bad. Because living in your grief of days gone by for a good boy… And yes, B III was a good boy, the best. No father ever had a better son.

Honestly! You’re no King Priam, Ezekiel, T’challa, or even Augustus. This week, you will be nothing more than a boy who lost his best friend. A father who failed his son. A man bested by a beast. It’s the things we love most that destroy us. Quoting Snow beats Trump.

Try reading Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Surviving Pet Death, Gracie Wyatt
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

If anything, you should be reading about your plans for the 31st and 1st. Will anything change about the day? Considering this is the fourth anniversary of Braxton’s passing, I once dreamed that you would burn the funeral garments. Your black hoody, Las Vegas t-shirt, and other odds and ends. You could spend it being nice to Little Virgil Vivi.

But if anything, you just have more work to do. You must move everything back into the Den, eat barbecue, and watch lots of pet loss movies or end-of-the-world stuff. Dystopias or Dark Humor, perhaps…

There is this movie Vivarium that reminds you of Virgil and yourself. But you wouldn’t give Virgil up for anything. Braxton? Rehomed to The Rainbow Bridge. Virgil, There’ll B Changes

“Sometimes you just gotta let go and let God. Just accept it, brother.”
John Q

1456 Days Without B III, Day 897 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 208 ~Braxton’s Dead, Virgil’s Dad~

WillLeave a comment

Seven Days… I wish I’d seen The Ring movie. I’d have followed my Braxton. Seven Days… on Sunday, January 31, 2021, my son would be gone. So, four years later, how do I start today. Dead and Dad are separated by a letter… Braxton’s Dead, Virgil’s Dad

Saturday, January 25, 2025

Meditation 208 ~Braxton’s Dead, Virgil’s Dad~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if the USA has taught me anything, you don’t have to be a genius, Lunalesca.

If you learn to steal, are found guilty of “SA,” and have the “right” skin tone, i.e., white, well, you too can be President of the United States of America. But why speak on Trump?

Because as I lay in the bedroom’s darkness this morning, I needed something… Horrible, Horrific, and Hateful but truthful. Though Donald Trump still has a ways to go, Lady Lu.

What am I saying? Nothing compares to the passing of my son Braxton Barks Bradford.

No wonder my dreams protected me from that fact last night. I had a dream about the show Squid Game. And Damien Priest was yelling at me about rejecting MAGA. FDT. But also, talk about men I find intimidating Luna; it definitely ain’t Donald Trump.

But back to my firstborn son. At this time last year, I was still talking to my Lost Boy, Lu.

I’ve been reading a lot recently. And that conversation was Tale 208, “Will B Talking, Virgil.” And four years prior, being the selfish man that I am, Lunalesca. On Monday, January 25, 2021, I worked on my rules Gospel 208, “Collective Madness Is Called Sanity.” I was in a rant about sin. Not knowing that I would commit the greatest.

Lunalesca, tell any father that their son they’d sworn to protect, their progeny, my pancake… Braxton would be dead in a week. Kidney Failure and by my own hand. Nope!

But that Sunday, January 31, 2021. You can call it love but betrayal Lunalesca, Treachery.

Do you know why E is not in the grading system A, B, C, D, and F? Lunalesca, I found that E. Braxton had a Dad. THAT’S ME! But add an E, and what do you get… Dead. That doesn’t bode well for Virgil. Is that why I’ve never fully accepted him as my secondborn?

Lunalesca, my latest book, Surviving Pet Death by Gracie Wyatt, isn’t helping. Did any book.

What? I bought it this morning, along with Satan’s Sorority Girls 8. Again, what? Today, it was Kindle Double Points, and I’m putting money in the hands of billionaires. Or watching non-geniuses commit crimes. Sara Malakul Lane’s movie last night…

Lunalesca, it’s safe to say my positivity is officially gone because Braxton’s Dead, Virgil’s Dad?

1455 Days Without B III, Day 896 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 202 ~Braxton The Professional, V…~

WillLeave a comment

Being professional? If I respected the new boss? Servant of the people? Is that me waking up in the morning? Or the 20th when I won’t watch Inauguration. Only the way people will act when TikTok returns, but liberty dies? Braxton The Professional, V…

Sunday, January 19, 2025

Meditation 202 ~Braxton The Professional, V…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I’ll be the last free human face you’ll see today. Lucky you… How’s that for positivity?

Because what will tomorrow bring? Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day? Well, duh, my man. How about more STUPID people? Last time you checked, TikTok was down, and people have been crying, complaining, and crapping about it. But what happens if it does come back? And speaking of coming will you keep it in your pants this week and next.

Braxton deserves to be honored. And Mia Rose in Pigtails RoundAsses Vol. 2 isn’t helping. Or specific costumes, cosplay, gymnast, nurses, witches… You’re positively doomed. Only it wasn’t that head that was bothering you this morning. You swear that you had the entire cast of Footloose dancing on your head this morning. And the song…

Braxton’s way of messaging you. Because these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING We by Yevgeny Zamyatin (Dystopia)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And here you are with One Night of Freedom. You won’t kid yourself that you’ll do any of these things today. And when you know what’s coming. You’re a black man. But Tyrion Lannister had it right about facing the end. Tomorrow, someday, whenever, how:

“In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my c**k.” ― Tyrion Lannister

So how will you spend the night? You’ll lay in bed checking off the apps on your phone to keep getting points, presents, and peeps that mean absolutely nothing. Tomorrow, which should mean so much, will be nothing. You performed your duty voting. Sigh

Inauguration Day? You’re not going to watch. But it will be like trying to avoid Pretty, pretty, pretty girls. You’ll have to cut off everything, which would be a good idea.

However, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Ryan and His Beauties 2
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

If you could have the perfect day, though… This question annoys you, but being optimistic.

Tomorrow, you would wake up, and Braxton would be alive. He’d jump on the bed and climb on your head if your wife wasn’t already on your face… Your wife and you would listen to apocalyptic pop even though Kamala Harris is being sworn in as President. Kids and V.

Or you could be like Jacob, Grayson, or Ryan with a beautiful harem. Cathouse owner… Again, Kamala Harris would be President. And instead of being afraid of every single person, you could look at me in the mirror and say… It’s a good life. And in this moment, you are happy. With Braxton… that makes perfection. Braxton The Professional, V…

1449 Days Without B III, Day 890 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 201 ~Virgil On B’s Ending~

WillLeave a comment

A bang or a whimper? I’ve seen many an end in forty years. Sometimes, it’s the flick of a finger on the screen. It could be a lawsuit. A moan and release over a brunette. Or my B speaking to my heart, asking, “Why can’t I stay?” Virgil On B’s Ending.

Saturday, January 18, 2025

Meditation 201 ~Virgil On B’s Ending~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I should leave the country for four years or so. Don’t I wish… But

Then again, I wish I didn’t need to leave the house. That would be at the top of Virgil’s wish list. And I’m sure that Braxton would approve. But what else is new? My revelation?

Yesterday, while I was shopping… And because of both my phone issues and my earwax. Eww! I know Lady Lunalesca. Anyway, I was left to my thoughts. Were they positive?

I thought about Braxton and my partnership and why we got along so well… Lunalesca. Braxton and I both hate people. And so I’m walking around thinking of this. Uh…

We need a new plague, Lady Lunalesca, with Trump about to be back in office; who knows. But that’s another story, and I thought I was trying to be positive. The thought of Trump’s return and the state of the world can be overwhelming sometimes.

Positive! You’re gonna be positive! But that’s just it, Lady Lunalesca. I was standing there in Walmart, overcome by such rage for humanity. And I remembered that Braxton felt the same way. And to think Braxton passed away because of my indifference. I hid rage. Not at him, of course. And it’s the same thing with Virgil. Only replace ANGER with FEAR. Braxton and I balanced each other. But the fact that I can endure such horror with Virgil. Think of it, Lady Lunalesca. How strong must Virgil and I be to continue to exist?

Even when I’m lost in a maze of confusion. When life is a costly affair? When some pretty brunette fills me with carnal desire? I swear my streak of checks notes of one day nearly ended just this morning, Lunalesca.

Could I give a specific part of my anatomy a rest for the next two weeks? In honor of B

Lunalesca, am I meant to end my days in this bed mourning Braxton Barks forever. I’ve been thinking about Braxton’s ending. Oh, and not Yevgeny Zamyatin’s “WE.” I finished that this morning and had to look up the plot because… What the eff, Lady Lu.

I thought about starting Satan’s Sorority Girls 8. On the grounds, I was reading an Eric Vall book when B III left me. Lunalesca, I could do that next week. But my lady, the end is yet to come. Several…

Well, TikTok’s end is Sunday, January 19, 2025. And Trump’s in power the day after. Lunalesca, Braxton’s passing was the 31st. Virgil On B’s Ending

1448 Days Without B III, Day 889 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 195 ~That’s Another B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

He that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. Is the Bible Pop Culture? Anyway, I learned a lot last week… I know something else is broken, and I have no clue how to fix it. Or cash. And that includes my existence. That’s Another B Virgil

Sunday, January 12, 2025

Meditation 195 ~That’s Another B Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you a Dad yet? Are you hard enough? Are you rough enough? Are you rich enough?

First off… Eww! Second, the week has just begun… Darling, the nightmare has just begun. Once again, this isn’t negativity. You are pointing out facts. And the truth hurts. Doesn’t it? That is when you can hear it. The body. The brain. Braxton’s Playlist… Madness

Braxton is ashes in a box. And you’re a boy in a bed. Would you kindly get up and do…?

Well, something other than fantasizing about Ashley Graham from RE4 or Cherry. There are so many choices. And not so many days. How many months has it been since E-Day?

And now… You know what is coming up at the end of the month. How B III met his end.

You’re so dark this morning. Dystopia and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least you’re telling the truth about number four. The last time you broke, it took MILF Dos’s voice and Cherry’s body. What do you want? Perfection, Consistency, uh… Discipline. Hell, the answer is your name, Will. All you need is the Will. Nothing more.

The Will to win. Where there’s a Will, there’s a way. The gift of Free Will and all that jazz.

But yeah, you could use Braxton and the willingness to quit with pop culture references.

Only Will you settle for another B-day? What’s one more day spent bedridden, Hmm? What’s another day singing, “Had a Bad Day again.” What’d I say about Pop Culture? Yet most of this morning was spent on b**bs, Yabbos. And not these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING We by Yevgeny Zamyatin (Dystopia)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because? If this was school, what would you be getting? A, B, C, D… F? What happened to E? What indeed? Shall I tell you? It’s the least I can do. “EASY like Sunday morning.”

That’s what happened. And it’s a lie. There’s fake it till you make it, and then there’s ignorance, insanity, and downright indifference. The idea that it’s okay to be well… A forty-year-old boy. How about to be Braxton? You have your box to exist in. What about to be a beta? There’s another word for that… NTR (Netorare), but that’s a story for the bedroom.

And you need to leave this one. Don’t make today another failure. Don’t pray for a D… Eww! Get up, Will! That’s Another B Virgil

1442 Days Without B III, Day 883 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 194 ~Braxton, Virgil, Button Up~

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I should buy Braxton and Virgil coats and little boots. B III would have taken one of my hands. And 2-V would be as confused as ever. What about myself? My mouth, pants, wallet, and computer. Buttons and locks. “Braxton, Virgil, Button Up.”

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Meditation 194 ~Braxton, Virgil, Button Up~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I live somewhere that’s warm… And preferably green. A modern-day Eden. My own Elysium.

Is there anything wrong with singing “Throw The Covers” over me? Is that not positive? One doesn’t always have to be working to have a positive experience in this life…

Though my Dearest Lady Lunalesca, Will Smith had the right idea. I believe it goes:

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.”
Will Smith

Of course, that was my son Braxton and now Virgil. But I couldn’t save him from the heat. And now the snow. We’re not freezing. If only the temperature were the only issue right now.

Nowadays, it’s money. If only there was some sort of lock for my wallet, bank account, and wherever else I have cash. I did have hundreds in a cookie tin and the Death Star, ha.

When the Man Comes Around? That man is my father…

Don’t I want to be positive? I’ve got my son, who’s been gone almost four years. And my father, who is very much alive and pays my bills. And what do I want, Lady Lunalesca?

I want to unbutton my pants for a girl on OnlyFans. It’s saying things like that, which is costing me friends. Or repeating The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. That’s today…

https://onlyfans.com/1481875569/willyswants

I could spend hours looking that up. Oh, besides researching Mia Rose and Lorena Sanchez? For the record, T*** Eff Holes 6. And there was talking to M Anime, Lunalesca.

Nightmare At The Meat Market. I swear the only thing that has me both unbuttoning my pants and, at the same time, pushing buttons in the right direction. For what?

So I don’t have to worry. As long as I’m doing anything positive… we gon’ be alright. Ha. Remaining positive.

And speaking of “We.” That’s what I was reading this morning. The house is falling apart, sure. But Trump and the next four years… As long as no one accuses me of trying to eat Virgil. I’m nowhere near the best person, Lunalesca. Self-awareness is a positive. Don’t you think?

Lunalesca, I’m also supposed to be getting some new equipment. Again, anything to keep me busy. The promise to M Anime to send her more of her nightmarish tale. Sigh.

Lunalesca, if I could button up everything… And become indifferent once more. Uh, B III? The world is getting colder. I know my destination. 9th Circle. Braxton, Virgil, Button Up.

1441 Days Without B III, Day 882 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will