Tag: Movies

Episode 232 ~How Do You Want It~

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Last week I talked about “Someday” so let’s say “One Day” came, how would I be living my life; I would probably be as confused as ever, but since I’m not looking at a magic lamp, wishes get complicated. How Do I Want It

Monday, February 18, 2019

Episode 232 ~How Do You Want It~

Seventy-Second Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, my first will come from writing no doubt. Wasn’t it last night that “Okay” asked me that if I were to get anything for her birthday, it would be that of submitting a book. My “big sister” asked me to send the short story, we wrote together years back.

Now Tupac asked the question “How Do You Want It.” Will Smith said something to the tune of; if you’re not making another life better, you’re wasting your time. Chris Rock when talking about love says; when you’re a man look yourself in the mirror and say fuck you. My language I know, but he added, now let’s get out there and try to make this bitch happy. Yesterday I asked how do I make myself happy, and again I keep feeling so gross about that. More often than not it’s what I can get away with and not what can I do. Of course, last night was “The Walking Dead,” and I feel like a WHISPERER. They march with the dead and what can they do; anything, that’s death.

“But you invite us to a poker game, hand us a fixed deck and then wonder why we can’t win?” ― The Tuskegee Airmen (1995)

You know Republicans claim God is one of theirs. You get what you get, and you learn how to live with or without and that’s your life, God’s will and all. If we are his children let alone if there is a God then in his image, we are all stupid. I texted Okay that mother is God in the eyes of a child and she loves her children more than anything. With that sentiment, I am my father’s son. He and I can both agree I don’t want to be stupid. An embarrassment, him in general, full of hate, a man who abuses women, or the greatest evil I know in the world. Start of this week I have looked at myself in the mirror and like I talked about stupidity, does everyone hate me? I’m being told to hate myself or do I hate this man before me?

“What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.”

“Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“What… do… you… want? Whaddaya want?” ― from The Notebook (2004)

What do I want Madam Justice in this one moment, I want to be writing my next bestseller? To be sifting through all the files of girls that want to come and work at one of my cathouses. Could I be cutting and pasting pornographic movie scenes? Why do I want this… because this is what I do Madam Justice, I write, I see the world, I know what I believe, and I want to understand. I have a son that needs a better father, friends that have faith in me, a woman waiting for me. Everything that has never known giving or was teased and never offered I’ll take.

“You want me to beg? Okay, I’ll beg. This is the only thing I know I am good at! Don’t take that away from me!” Best of the Best (1989)

So then that central question HOW? By sitting at this table working my ass off and not being afraid to say words because of anyone. Even with my son lying on my lap? On the beach with my family, in my office with beautiful women. How Do I Want It?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 197 ~Women Make The World Harder~

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Whenever a woman is coming over I’m reminded of that concept “Jesus is coming, look busy” it’s like the end of days maybe, and that’s if things get that far, past twenty seconds of courage, the daily grind, life. Women Make The World Harder

Monday, January 14, 2019

Episode 197 ~Women Make The World Harder~

Sixty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, keep your zipper closed no matter how hard “IT” gets and no I’m not thinking about the clown, learn to live “Bird Box” style, and maybe I misunderstood in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. You also must remain a hard ass and by that I mean keep your wallet full and keep your mouth shut and grind; my back pockets are for my wallet, some work gear, and some wound up earphones most days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce1NYsFPzXI

Last time I checked Eric Thomas has a woman but here’s the thing Madam Justice, I have a hard time breathing regardless of what I do but between the day job and women… one they call making a living, the other produces life. I make women out to be, princess and queens, angels and goddesses, I find myself willing to do anything and haunted by my decisions and wonder why. Now I want to be a man. Indeed a wise black man so I’ll quote The Fresh Prince, Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble, I have watched many a great man fall to perdition, not saying they didn’t deserve it but the innocent as well Justice.

Falling in love doesn’t take a brain, you’re libel to bust a gut, and you know how much I hate playing the fool which explains some and a man must also be brave, have huge stones or can we say bigger balls. Do you think me bitter Madam Justice, I don’t like the taste of 5-hour ENERGY, but I still take it every day and so it is with women, as the song goes, I’m a little Drunk On You which ironically makes me softer and more open. Doesn’t this lead me back to the MILFS though or any woman for that matter, hell Dennis Hof wanted independent women, but he also spoiled them rotten, and at the same time he bought houses galore, he had the Midas Touch, indeed plenty of cold hard cash.

Women make a man hardheaded in more ways than one, in body, bullion, battle, and probably a million other things all so we can take them to bed, in the belief that we will breathe a little easier, and I won’t lie Madam Justice, one day I want to be a dad. What doesn’t “end” you, makes you stronger and with a woman sigh what does one man have to fear; I rather face Ryuukotsusei, hell maybe I am him or is being a Dominant worse, that sends the girls running, and the planet spinning, Women Make The World Harder.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 114 ~Time Out For Will~

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Maybe I’m looking to get away from it all, don’t ask me about the last time I had a vacation on even a trip to the movies… as the song goes, if I had a million dollars but what about love too. Time Out For Will

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Episode 114 ~Time Out For Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, though I don’t remember places like The McWane Science Center being expensive and anywhere that I can’t wear one of my hoodies… well, I want the money until It Doesn’t Matter. I’m much more of a homebody or one for out of body experiences, I read a lot on Astral Projection, though it’s been years, I suppose because you’re my Angel; yes, if it’s not music, then lame compliments will do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uBJtGSxJk8

Now before I break out my best Madmartigan from Willow (1988) I do like going out and looking at the stars from time to time, I only ever see them anymore when I head for work, or I look into your eyes; yeah I’m trying to stop. Maybe that’s why I like going to the movies or the library, a few museums here or there because they’re quiet and rooted in facts, that’s the truth. I was never the guy you’ll find hiding in a “man cave” watching the “game” unless we’re talking about the Olympics, then I’ll see you in two weeks, I prefer the Study but you’ll find me on one side of the house, lost in a book, instead of raking leaves.

Probably one more reason I want a million dollars, so I can buy one of those robots to do it while we go camping and honestly I have never been but somewhere alone with you and nature… primal but I like fishing too. Isn’t it strange that we’ll go someplace quiet and educational with the kids or somewhere, I can lose myself, Disney World, Universal, New York, California, but I’ll be just as happy, holding my son’s hand, you carrying our daughter and going to see a movie, “Trolls” was awesome. Can’t forget about my first born though, I want him to see the beach someday, and are you honestly going to ask me what I do to unwind or how about what you want to do, you saw me today though, blanket and bed.

Not that I don’t get wild from time to time, of course, you know me, so if they haven’t closed down the “Ranches” in Nevada yet or how about we go and see what Japan has to offer us, I mean “Hotels” and all. Am I that much of an explorer… yeah most days I’m looking for the darkest corners, but I want you with me, and maybe life won’t look like, well as it does now; me In Da Club, Time Out For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 279 ~E.T. Doesn’t Know Me~

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I have all the quiet I will need for the next few days, and I saw two movies this week so much like the family in A Quiet Place what is it I should be doing… surviving, and my book should help with that right? E.T. Doesn’t Know Me

Friday, April 6, 2018

Lesson 279 ~E.T. Doesn’t Know Me~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today but look at it this way they don’t call me big head anymore then again people talk behind my back still, which might explain this backache and the headache. My, oh my is that sounding like I’m writing another excuse but what else have I written today; my name that might as well be mud, how much money do I need so I don’t starve or how hard the pizza man needs to knock on the door.

While I’m busy not helping myself, how about that review I still owe for “Galahad Suns,” how about being an active participant in my writing community, and speaking of reviews, what about “A Quiet Place?” I swear anytime I find a quiet place I want to sleep, to “drift” and no I can’t blame the movies, I mean I always find time to talk to my girls and myself don’t I? More like I still have time to listen, to go crazy, hearing things that aren’t there like all the characters in the book I’m not writing now, again those backstabbers, and worrying about what to say to the pizza guy in a little while.

People loved E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, and yet the government wanted to cut open that big head of his and figure out what was in there; sometimes there is nothing more than hopes and dreams, sometimes it’s the finger that holds power. I said before that I don’t grow because I can’t afford it… is that yet another excuse, traditional publishing cost a whole lot of money, but my ideas, my dreams, this noise in my head continually grows louder and louder. If I was back in school, I imagine that everybody would compare me to one of the creatures in “A Quiet Place” (old habits) hell I do feel like an alien in both this world and the one that I’m building in my novel.

Me and my big head, that’s Mr. Bighead to you, maybe that’s why I like scary movies and sex, I enjoy the sound of screaming, well making other people more so which keeps me up to write because my head is so dense. No wonder I look down so much, mourning a dead man all the time, a career that will never be but still I should look to the stars, one look, truth be told E.T. Doesn’t Know Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 231 ~Bad Things, Not Always~

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All those who wander, hell some days I wish I could join them because even as I lie, here I’m lost just trying to find my place, a better place and wouldn’t it help getting up but then again? Bad Things, Not Always.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Lesson 231 ~Bad Things, Not Always~

“How? How can I do what is needed, when all I feel is… hate.”

“[holds up black mask] You hide it, with this.” ― from The Mask of Zorro (2008)

Hey Lady Luna,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore as I have said I am a hypocrite again and again, from saying I need to step out to wanting to fall back, from saying I hate the mask to embracing it, to changing why I wear it at all. There are days Lady Lu when I can’t stand my people (Black People), and then there are days I’m quite proud even if I’m in a crowd just wanting to roar truthfully.

“If a man hasn’t found something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Yes, Black Panther is a good movie, good enough I almost called my mother to come out and support it, if it wasn’t for all the drama at the house or maybe not, I don’t care enough to ask. Speaking of my views on women, Lupita Nyong’o/Nakia and Letitia Wright/Shuri, I’m not sure who I liked more; told you I’m equal opportunity when it comes to women… okay, most women. Anyway, the lesson for today is why aren’t I living, and it’s the fact that I’m still trying to find my place, a solid strategy, my life must have if not a purpose, rules, again I’m all anarchist, but I like an order to things.

“Fathers are supposed to show sons how to be a man in the world, but I guess the world is too much for you.” ― Grotesque, Fear The Walking Dead

In Black Panther, the former king tells T’Challa, a man that hasn’t prepared his children for his death has failed as a father; God knows my father hasn’t, I still have to go to him for everything, and if a catastrophe were to happen, yeah I’m screwed. As far as I know, my father didn’t have his father, and while mine is around I still find myself lost and clueless, barely hanging on and what about my four-legged son? I don’t know what I have to be and I’m so busy trying to appease everyone and keep myself somewhat sane that I fall apart quietly.

I was telling a friend the other day about Black Panther and *spoiler* why is it the white man has to save the day, even in a movie all about black people; it’s cliché as if no one but the white man is capable of such deeds. Not trying to sound political Lady Lu and isn’t this supposed to be about me, I’m not looking to save the world but only me and my son and how do I do that I have to ask.

The mask keeps me employed; if I have to depend on my father, for now… so be it, if it means learning to shut up, or stay clean, then it is what it is which I hate saying. Though you can’t blame me as Killmonger was saying, better to die than live in bondage and while I’m not doing anything stupid, Bad Things, Not Always

I Will Have No Fear

When Was ROMEO A Stuntman

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Have you heard the latest; now I’m not one for gossip but I think this is a great book, and better than any tabloid and did you see what Ruby Rowe was wearing, four stars I think I saw but riddle me this? When Was ROMEO A Stuntman

An awesome story and let me repeat that, an awesome novel, it echoes through the ages continuously and everyone puts their spin, a twist and what better a setting that California. You know how they say, never judge a book by its cover, well come on, it’s not Ruby Rowe’s fault, but when you utter Romeo, you immediately think Juliet or in this case Ava Lane/Leoni and throwing “The Bodyguard” into the mix with ease.

Romeo is a story you know backward and forward, leaving nearly no suspense not to say it’s boring but right off the bat I give four stars just because you know what’s coming. Maybe that’s not fair of me, perhaps I’ve been jaded from well, take your pick, Shakespeare, mafia romances, the drama of Hollywood but reading this I will say I am a lot more devoted than with any tabloid. If it wasn’t Ava, it was the ex-military, rich mafia guy, dominant in Griffin Scott/Golino, talk about looking the part of your average BDSM romance though this was more than average with the story.

I don’t mean to sound so critical as I already said four out of five stars, the story itself hooks you, there’s no way you want to put it down but when you see Romeo and Juliet you read, or you watch, and you know what’s going to happen. While reading Romeo there was never a doubt in my mind about the happy ending, seriously sometimes you just think, why don’t they go ahead and pick china patterns. If you do want a mystery, you could try and pick out the other characters and match them to William Shakespeare’s classic.

I suppose I was too caught up to bother, talk about descriptive the author wants you to fall head over heels in love with Ava and there is a big reason for that. Griffin for as hardened as he is served no as more a puppet throughout the story unless he was busy saving Ava’s behind and that’s so he could spank it later maybe.

The shocker perhaps is Ava’s age, which I’m pretty sure is forty years old and goes on comparing her to a younger actress or her baby sister and how a man like Griffin at thirty could never want her. Personally, I tend to go for younger women, but the way the author describes Ava can make any man go weak in the knees, though that’s more Ava’s department being honest.

I think the BDSM elements are the only thing that made me like Griffin at all; how in one aspect of his life he was at the beck and call of his clients/principals and in the other a sought after dominant. There was also “Dungeon Six” which I wished we could learn even more about and while Matt wasn’t a compelling character he was somewhat left out. Also, the idea of Romeo when it came to Griffin’s identity, but I’ll save that for you to discover, which is easy enough.

It was strange how Ava was a reverse of Griffin, she was always quite in control but became submissive putty for Griffin so naturally. She remains true to the genre of would be mafia princess wanting to run away with the handsome bodyguard, nothing original there but the sex scenes between her and Griffin were hot. Another character disappearing was her ex Oliver however he was merely a footnote in the story entirely, nothing more.

Now Mickey and Sydney, where do you start, no secrets there and as soon as Ava covered a bit of history between herself and Mickey well; Sydney, on the other hand, was the stereotypical young actress. There’s also the mafia fathers and the family histories blah blah, new mutiny and such emphasis on friendship amongst women and the Hollywood spotlight.

Nothing surprised me, but you can read the same story so many times and find something new each time but as well written and as fascinating as it was, I was not blown away by it. Four out of five and beware as there will be spoilers headed next if you can call them that with this author’s interpretation of the Shakespeare powerhouse story indeed.

Mickey DeLuca, shall we call him Paris as he was courting Ava, a friend of her father’s, the alpha male though even more of a jerk and I’m with Griffin on the fact I would have been annoyed with Ava too. I still have yet to understand what it is with women and the mafia motif or how they stumble upon one good guy making everyone else the bad guy; I suppose love triangles are for YA novels or dirtier erotica, as my reading group warned this was somewhat tame. Characters left out and an issue here or there left unresolved gives this book a more genuine feeling, but it is not without some closure.

Other than some of the descriptive language, Dungeon Six, and the sex, the story just shows how addictive the tabloids can be, but I won’t be picking up a gossip magazine anytime soon. With Ava just living her life I liked how she began to stick up for herself against Drake and her agent without a death threat hanging Sword of Damocles style over her head, not from either of them at least. Any book that leaves you yearning for more, of course, has my vote, though it ended when it did, it was heading into Fifty Shades territory, that’s just my two cents though.

If you’ve never read Romeo and Juliet and are new to erotica, this is a great place to start minus, the stalker if you’re not into the darker themes maybe. I could see myself being a fan of Ava’s and of course Ruby Rowe, but I have to ask, just When Was ROMEO A Stuntman?

DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My

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A reader is to a voyeur as a writer is to an exhibitionist, with some books we’re alone in the dark but with “The Director” talk about lights, camera, action; looking through this author’s eyes is just extraordinary. DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My

So filled by terror, there wasn’t room for shame or modesty while baring every part of myself to strangers. ― The Director, Lily White (2017)

The lack of the author’s fear is what impressed me the most with this title, no shame, no modesty, plenty of terror and nothing to apologize for, though I’m still not giving it five stars, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t wonderfully wicked. A work like this is supposed to make you feel it, to see it, to make it believable and this. Honestly, I wish I could see it on my bookshelf; I hope I could see it on the big screen just saying, I’ve probably seen it in porn here or there I’m sure.

I saw once that we read to know that we’re not alone and I look at my writing, my life, and see the flack I take for it, but again Lily White doesn’t give a rat’s behind she shines the camera directly in your face and dares you not to look away. Maybe that should scare some people but I’ve never published anything like this and she did it, how I would like to know what was going through her head at the time of this but maybe I should focus more on Emma Hart. Now I won’t say the story is somewhat original but this fictional work does give a peek into an all too real world, mentally, physically and the line between right and wrong; yeah wrong and yet I read on indeed.

It’s the usual state of affairs, good girl, bad boy, and if you’re a fan of the dark erotica genre you can pretty much guess what happens next, but it is still well worth the read. No BDSM because such a practice involves rules while the sexual escapades in this are anything goes, and as Jigsaw would say, there will be blood and not just that of the victims. I was also quite fascinated with the artist, and I don’t just mean the author but “The Director,” and it calls into question what would we do to express art in such a form as this.

That’s what got me the most about Ethan Cole, keeping in mind the crime and the evil it was revealing humanity, how easy it is to toss it away and then pick it right back up but maybe we shouldn’t be able to. Speaking of which I didn’t want to put this down, but that’s like being one of the people behind the camera, however, could I continue to look.

Well first let’s start with the hero and villain, no those are the wrong words, the victim and the artist, “beauty and the beast,” I could go on, for now, let’s just say Emma and Ethan/The Director. For such dark subject matter, I found myself transfixed with the beauty of it all from the scenes Ethan shot, to the evolution of both characters and there is a moment that will break your heart entirely devastating.

Emma starts out as the typical woman, what is that wrong to say, walks out on a date with a man only to end up with several worse ones, and the devil himself Ethan. It’s with him that she is forced to evolve or maybe forced is too much counting the fact that she eventually understands where he is coming from, let’s hear it for Stockholm Syndrome of course. From victim to a warrior, to lover Emma pretty much goes through the usual story progression but the ending I have seen in a few stories.

Ethan, now usually I find myself falling in love with the victim but Ethan; I feel like I know him well, any artist and it doesn’t matter which kind whose heard no you don’t do that because it’s risqué, people won’t understand, are you crazy will relate to him. Yes, he’s a monster, but if Emma can fall in love, I can look at the guy as living the dream and after all Emma would become his masterpiece to be sure. What about the lies, I’ve seen those from the most innocent of things like “The Giver” when it comes to our life’s work our creations and the fact that we live such boring lives, seriously Ethan makes good points.

I was also all about the voyeurism and exhibitionism, along with ravishment concepts and it makes me feel somewhat taken aback but then the author wrote this, it’s a fetish to many, and even shows that say this is brutal still show it. Anyway, the focus stays mainly on Emma and Ethan and any other characters are merely extras, like on Ethan’s stage there is only a man and woman.

I can honestly say it’s a four out of five stars and leave it at that, compelling and wholly visceral but comes just short of that spark but honestly a favorite. Also spoilers ahead but as I so often state, in this genre, it always follows the same formula and if we’re lucky a twist here or there, though not The Director so much honestly.

When it comes to stories like this, there is usually a span of a few days, months, a year, but the fact that story looked like it could use a montage of Emma in action. It makes the book seemed rushed by the end, not surprising, not unexpected just quick, though the revelations brought out the artist in me and what would you do with no inhibitions? In a way in reminds me these true-life stories of survival, Lily White’s tale could easily be on the evening news, with her heroine Emma recounting the horror.

Though the most heartbreaking portion wasn’t Emma at all and I won’t spoil it but that twist, talk about being a killer. The idea that even in Hell the concepts of mercy, compassion, even humor are allowed to exist even amongst all the sex and death that prevail overall. What about the bad guy winning, in these stories the villain always finds a sure way to love but I’m not just talking about Ethan, and you’ll have to read to know more about that part.

You know what you’re getting into, a broken heart and the typical ending but the lights, the camera, the action, there is a reason that porn is continually evolving, and your tastes may change by certain degrees with this title. For better or worse, this is honestly so much better; Lily White is an incredible author and this work wow DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My.

Lesson 199 ~I Learned To Remote~

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My DVR is full of things I meant to watch or like any library, full of stories I have yet to see and still, I only gather more, not wanting to let one go because god help me if I watch the news today at some point or find love… “I Learned To Remote.”

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Lesson 199 ~I Learned To Remote~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I’m sure you already know by now you married one big nerd if May 4th doesn’t tip you off every year; of the days I have to remember your birthday, our anniversary, and days that call for chocolate. The DVR will handle the rest because I would prefer to take you out to the movies, the world could use another hero, despite what Tina Turner sang.

Another excellent use for the TV besides us laughing at whatever YouTube has to say, or just the background noise, and the news predicting the end of the world. I suppose whatever we watch you’ll find your way into my arms, someway my love, with a horror flick, in watching a movie based on the book, and hopefully not with you falling asleep… we start the series; we’ll finish it. Is Paw Patrol still a thing, lucky that we found each other because we can take turns watching it with the kids and then be adults crying over fake tigers, and our favorite characters on The Walking Dead, you think?

I must admit to this particular and rare occurrence that happens twice every four years when I become a typical guy and root, root, root for the home team during the Olympics, good thing I found myself a “Cheerleader.” Again with the music player, laugh track, a reason to cuddle up next to you; did I mention that I’m an avid gamer, well whenever my next book hits and I have some downtime. So you ask me what will it take for me to put the remote down period or even to hand it over to you, well did I marry a fangirl or what?

Enough gushing over me and my usual LSV television preferences, you only watch once, unless you’re hopelessly devoted and that might explain why I can’t take my eyes off of you. Was that as cheesy as any love story, does that mean we still have to watch another one, I might stop to ask about the woman I married but seeing as how we’re trying not to use television as some technology adept makeshift babysitter…

Maybe we should watch more TV but I promised you forever and always, and one day I’ll brag to the grandkids with so much new technology, I Learned To Remote.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 180 ~The Coming Attractions Hmm~

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I don’t need to go to the lobby to get myself a treat and any day can honestly be hump day if you find somebody willing or find yourself in love, and I usually avoid the chick flicks which might be stupid on my part. “The Coming Attractions Hmm”

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Lesson 180 ~The Coming Attractions Hmm~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, even if it’s caught on camera, though I think I’ve said before that my reputation is probably already ruined and it’s just a manner of time. Anyway voyeurism, exhibitionism, and even the general fear of getting caught, what better place is there than a movie theater, okay I can think of plenty, but I’ve been to an adult theater, to be honest, Dirty Diana.

Now was Star Wars: The Last Jedi, that bad, hell I’m going to see it again today, but it’s something about being in the dark fantasizing about Rey or Rose, okay it doesn’t just have to be Star Wars. As I said, I’ve been to an adult theater a few times and let me just say that it’s nothing like the porn movies I’ve seen or maybe there just aren’t that many options here. The only good news is I have seen some genuinely gross things but wasting ten bucks is still losing ten dollars if you don’t like the company you keep and I can’t even remember the movie that was showing; like that’s ever the point just saying.

I’ve always imagined though I would take some girl at some point and no I’m still not in a sharing mood yet people watching me and her together, why oh why do I find myself so brave when it comes to sex and violence. That explains so much, get me huffy or horny, and I don’t care what people think about me for a while; to think I’m quite respectful in the regular theater, I like movies. The thing about it is, I would get hotter in a proper film, porn is great and all but I can usually make anything into a porno flick.

Not only that, give me a girl that likes to watch porn at the house, though I’ve freaked some girls out, am I ashamed of my kink, no but since the point is to get the girl… Better to leave it on Netflix, Amazon, and the latest Hollywood blockbuster, and my vanilla watch list indeed.

Anyway, my “Fucket” List includes, sex in an adult theater, in a standard theater, and backstage someplace, “Dawson’s Creek” but today will be an ordinary day, The Coming Attractions Hmm.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 016 ~Addiction~

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The father of zombies has passed away but his legacy will live on along with my fandom and I can be a fan of much worse things, I am. Addiction, some of those things are poisons and diseases and of course, doesn’t technology make slaves of us all

Monday, July 17, 2017

Lesson 016 ~Addiction~

Hey Lady Lu,
First, let me say, RIP George Romero, the man created his own genre and is responsible for my preoccupation with death, not my own, zombies my dear zombies. Of course, the rest of world, my country, for the most part, seems obsessed with death, leave it to billions to end the living and just one man to make sure the dead stay down for good.

Dead men tell no tales, George Romero and some law enforcement have put an end to that don’t you know; another reason everyone is trying to live forever. What are we afraid we’ll miss the next meme, getting a few more likes, our chance to be famous, and of course we don’t want anyone finding out all of our secrets do we. No, Luna, we want to broadcast them out loud ourselves or maybe we just seek to leave a part of ourselves, inspiration perhaps as George Romero has done.

Now I can’t say if the man could have been addicted to all things zombie and yes I’m well aware I’m a fanboy myself of zombie culture but today’s lesson is about our addictions. I wish I could be nicer about it, call them passions, enthusiasms, interests and the like but I’m not one to look on the bright side of life, despite what the song says. So what is an addiction because I’m never one to take my own word for these sort of things so of course, I have been doing a bit of reading on the subject.

“Addiction is a persistent, compulsive dependence on a behavior or substance.” The Free Dictionary

“the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.” Dictionary.com

“a brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences.” Wikipedia
Would I call my zombie fix as my friend would call it an addiction, I would say I could be reading a book except “I Am Legend”, “The Walking Dead” and hundreds of others are books so if it is, I wouldn’t call it a bad one. Then again Lady Lu you remember me and books at school once upon a time and then when I was growing up, let’s just say I learned all of Victoria’s Secrets…Cara Delevingne nowadays.

“There’s no time for us,
There’s no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us.” – Queen, Who Wants To Live Forever (1986)

You know when I was in school I was “addicted” hmm… obsessed, manic, anxiety driven to read, and no not my school books but anything else, especially end of the world scenarios or final battles, from Alas, Babylon to “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”. My parents, my teachers, pretty much everyone I knew considered this a problem, yeah I was the epitome Henry Bemis “Time Enough at Last”, and people wonder why I pray for the end of the world, as long as a library is still standing or I find a way to generate power, I’ll be good.

There are so many worse things Luna, I know people who drink plenty and to be perfectly honest, some have problems, some don’t but it’s annoying as hell but I don’t drink do I. How about this girl at work who quit smoking and then I see her yesterday, not smoking but vaping and I asked was there a difference and she said “scientifically yes” What about drugs in general, yeah I’m no one to judge because I take pills to try and keep me reasonable and when I’m without them… if today was any indication I screw up plenty.

“Since the day I met you
And after all, we’ve been through
I’m still a dick
I’m addicted to you
I think you know that it’s true
I’d run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?” – Simple Plan, Addicted (2003)

This is the worst of it for me love/lust, let’s just put it under the term of intimacy and like most guys, it’s in our freaking genetics, our biology, and like most medications made in the USA the cure is worse than the virus. Don’t worry Luna, between memories of “the incident” yet again, having a “fix” this morning, I think I’m back on the Ned Flanders band wagon but I’m sure I’ll be back to being “Pookie” in no time. Isn’t that just another one, if it isn’t violence, or “stuff and things”, I’m addicted to pop culture and that’s not helping anybody really.

“We just have to hope they remember the antidote.
That’s assuming they ever bothered to create one.” Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Babel

If you ask me how most addictions start it’s the fact that no one wants to be here, now tell me what’s wrong with here, why does it take all these things to feel or even to dull the senses of what’s here, to live through this. Once upon a time I swore, I would have one more addiction, one more vice, and then I would grow up and that I did Luna, from Pokémon to The Hunger Games, and now erotica.

How about the time I swore I would never be like one of those people walking around glued to their phone, what happened to the guy that would sit at the lake all day lost in the water or lost in his own mind? I walk around Luna watching while the masses played Pokémon and now they have those fidget spinners and for some reason, I feel better than them.

“Look at yourselves. Unplug from your chairs, get up and look in the mirror. What you see is how God made you. We’re not meant to experience the world through a machine.” – Surrogates (2009)

We’re lost my dear Luna, some more than most, I hate those fidget spinners, I abhor the idea that people can’t sit through a movie in a theater or even on my couch without checking their phone every two minutes, people are killing people because of texting while driving, animals who should be free are made examples of because of stupid moms on smartphones and hunters. I’m no better though, I thought that machines would make me free and we’ve talked about freedom but they also make me, what was her word “skeevy” am I right? The fact remains though the simple fact that I can talk to you like this, that there is some sort of record at all, isn’t that worth something, is it safe to say this right here is an addiction?

“Mr. Henry Bemis, on an eight-hour tour of a graveyard.” Time Enough at Last

I’m sorry if I sound preachy when I talk to you, again you’re the best therapist I know and here’s something else I know, I’m sounding like that TV show Mr. Robot, which can’t be a good thing. The fact that I’ve never watched it but thanks to Facebook I know the “F*uck Society” monolog means either A: I’m more lost than I thought or B: I’m actually seeing this stuff first hand and it’s just coming out of me. Personally one of my biggest addictions is anxiety and that’s not one I chose but for me, it justifies the rest if you only saw what I did this morning all on the grounds of avoiding social interaction, even with all this technology we have.

So what have I learned, we’re all sick, all addicts, that it’s all in the eye of the beholder, and that I don’t know how to stop it. Well actually I know but that would make me sound like a psychopath and I’m trying not to be; Ned Flanders Addiction.

“I really don’t hold with knowing the future, even my own, which is short. I mean, if we knew for a fact there was an afterlife, and that the afterlife was bliss eternal, we’d all commit suicide in order to be able to enjoy it.” Mandemus – Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

“We are the Walking Dead” Rick Grimes, The Walking Dead