Tag: Breathe

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

WillLeave a comment

My son, B III, died on Sunday, January 31, 2021. His last great act was to see me through a Trump Presidency, COVID, and life. Now come January 2025. I see another on the horizon, and I don’t blame Virgil. I blame people. Me, Braxton And Virgil Rage.

Saturday, November 9, 2024

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And I am still angry. At what? I woke up late again. Grayson “cheated” on Robin.

Not really! I’ve read every Satan’s Sorority Girls title so far. Grayson is more popular than Lou Bega in “Mambo No. 5.” Robin, Julia, Tasha, Fiona, Chrissy, who’s next, Lunalesca?

Who’s next? What’s next? Donald J Trump. And that Lady Lunalesca is why I’m angry. I’m in a rage. And when I’m not burning, my blood runs cold. I’ve looked at my “special” drawer on multiple occasions. The cold steel. But I got Virgil to raise. And Braxton to mourn.

Though the tears I have shed this week have been for my country. And for the loss of Madam Justice, both figuratively and literally. I’ve started “my” FIRSTBORN series. This will be Braxton speaking through me. Braxton saw me through Trump’s first term. Apocalypse Buddy.

And the reason I will be seeing the ninth circle of Hell. Soon… The Ninth Circle is Treachery and Betrayal… Of my brother, I am guilty. Of my country, well, I did fail her, so I’m guilty. Of my God? I knelt to no one other than my son B. And beautiful women, way back.

Being Braxton’s father required sacrifice… But I have always quoted I am an equal opportunity misanthropist. And while I hate myself most of all, Lunalesca. People have been driving me mad since Election Day. And I dare compare it to the day my Braxton passed away. And this is the conclusion I have drawn. “Are you getting a new dog?”

“… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” ― from Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle

Braxton’s body was still warm, and “my father” asked that.

Talk about hatred and stupidity. “My father” can call me STUPID all he likes and threaten me with slavery and death, but to spit on my son’s life like that… But as Anne Frank said:

“Despite everything, I believe people are really good at heart.”

And that’s what hurt the most. I watched the world continue after my son died, and I thought that it was a good place and “my” pain was “my” own. And that was that, Luna.

Now, nearly four years later, I see that the world ain’t worth nothing. People feel about America like my father did about “my” son. The fear, hatred, and stupidity. Sickening!

Lunalesca as Greta Thunberg put it: HOW DARE YOU! And it leaves me with nothing but rage. Yet I wonder how Braxton And Virgil Rage.

1378 Days Without B III, Day 819 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 125 ~Virgil Will B VOTING~

WillLeave a comment

Who would I like to follow? If it hadn’t been for Braxton’s favorite girl, my Ma, and a box of barbecue… I’m easy, like Sunday morning. I would have followed my son. No, I’m not dumb enough to vote for Trump. What about Virgil? “Virgil Will B VOTING”

Sunday, November 3, 2024

Meditation 125 ~Virgil Will B VOTING~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And unlike Virgil, you have opposable thumbs, so… What? Is that something positive? If anything, EFFING VOTE!!!

You don’t have to listen to another word today if you JUST remember that, okay?

Braxton is still gone, but you have his memory to consider. And while you’ll spend your time on Massa’s Plantation (if Trump wins). Excuse you! I mean, you’ll be working “The MILL.” Excuse you again! You’ll be masturb… Pleasuring yourself for OnlyFans. I mean, REALLY. You’ll be wasting time blogging. What else would you call it; come Monday morning. You have no idea who you’ll be talking to with Madam J’s rules being done with. Maybe you should talk to her. Who knows, law and order might end on Tuesday.

The point is that on Tuesday, November 5, 2024, you do something worthless as you are. Like, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Stay the Night: A Slice of Life by Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yes, I did Number Four. Answer: How many women have seen your Stuff & Thang, and how much money did I spend for a woman sans clothing in pigtails and another woman with the fattest Yabbos. You’d rather they were Cherry’s, but you know her.

These days you should start saving your money. Is it too late for that? You can’t feel how empty your pockets are if you’re not wearing any pants. But Braxton taught you that the best legs breasts, and thighs are found in a bucket of chicken. Or a box. Isn’t It Ironic? Your poor son.

Braxton ended up in a box because you were a chicken trying to save money. Now, all you want to do is crawl inside with him. But, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But what is possible is that you have to vote. I can’t stress this enough. You even have the day off, so you have plenty of time. And who knows, with people being, well, people…

You might end up joining Braxton sooner. This is the South, which means your vote… It’s a moot point. The state will fall to Trump. But at the very least, you are JUST one man.

One man that will declare with his voice… pick any inspirational speech you like. Vote!

On Tuesday, November 5, 2024, you will vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. Victory!

FOR DEMOCRACY!!! And for Virgil. Though if he could have voted for any owner. Uh.

Yeah… Virgil wouldn’t have chosen you. Virgil Will B VOTING

1372 Days Without B III, Day 813 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 124 ~Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What do I want to be when I grow up? My son. My Braxton. We don’t want to tell kids to be like Trump or MAGA. Uh, I’m 40 and possibly looking at the end of freedom if Kamala doesn’t win. And I’m worried about me. Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, November 2, 2024

Meditation 124 ~Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But Trump doesn’t use such big words… Why should I? Yes, Lunalesca, I may get political.

But let’s focus on me for now. And why am I so late? Bad dreams. But I can’t remember any of them. Another reason I’m late. It was either watching all the Yabbos bouncing in my face or reading about them… Sasha, Jessica, Lexi… “Some Guys Have All the Luck.”

Only not my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Yesterday, as I was trying not to starve, I thought to myself. If only I could have my Braxton’s courage. And what about Virgil? If only I didn’t have his damage. Things I don’t know about him. What does he fear about me?

Being left out? As in banned from the bedroom. Virgil didn’t use the training paper. Here’s a thought. Buy him his own training pad. Hmm.

I don’t want him on Braxton’s bed—ever! But sure, use B’s bowls, big pillows, and bathroom space. And speaking of marking territory and making a mess, there’s Election Day.

Lunalesca, I will be playing the part of a “Law Abiding Citizen.” How do THEY say, “I’m just a regular, everyday normal mother effer.” Lunalesca, “What Makes A Good Man?”

This leads me to today. I know plenty of bad men or rather people. “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” And while I consider myself better than MAGA, My Lady…

Braxton, my son, is a far better man than me. If I could be half the man he was, I would consider myself truly blessed.

But I find myself existing as he did in those final days. It’s like living ‘Livin’ On A Prayer ‘, constantly on the edge of losing everything. Haven’t I? REALLY!

And how many songs am I going to rip off? I finished reading earlier. And looking up Asuka Langley Soryu is not productive. Anything to avoid looking into a mirror.

Lunalesca, how can I be bothered to save the world when I couldn’t save Braxton, who was my whole world? And I keep coming back to this simple truth. Virgil is here. I mean, couldn’t they be bothered to vet me? Fifteen years is a long life. Only yesterday afternoon…

Then you wonder why I don’t value my existence. All I want is to have a family someday. Lunalesca, we would be far from “UNEXPECTED GOATS.” But today, I’m like Winston Smith from 1984 (last man), with some Far Cry 5’s Faith. But someday, I hope to be like Braxton. And show Virgil a better man. To one day have a family that reflects their characters. Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil

1371 Days Without B III, Day 812 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 118 ~Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

How does 2-V feel about being four? A little bit better than I do about being forty. Both of us have concepts of what being should mean. I should have Braxton. V should have some nuclear family unit. Instead… Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton.

Sunday, October 27, 2024

Meditation 118 ~Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Huh? So you don’t have to go with The Substance next month. You’re not a smart man.

But you could be one for Halloween. That’s what we do here. I will TRY to give you the ADVICE to change what you see every week. More like how not to hate yourself. But the man that your Dear Future Wife sees? How you say, “Just Me, Baby B,” like he wants to hear from the “man” who put him in a box three years ago. His Dad? Hearing from yours terrifies you. (Shudders).

However, it’s the “Time of the Season.” And what will you do besides reading “Stay the Night: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (Harem University Book 2)” Again, you’re not so bright. You first bought “Pawprints from Heaven.” But that’s not out until Halloween. Pet Loss? Scary! Meanwhile, you’ll be here failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 14: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

If you were going to have new ones, how about not wasting money because you didn’t read the fine print. Another would be to keep your DARN word when posting book reviews, bad critiques, and even pictures of your blue balls. Been to OnlyFans lately? And for what? That’s another thing. You could make more bucks if you could stay awake. If you stayed out of bed most of the day. How about buying books where women keep their clothes on? “Sans clothing,” do you remember that? Some books teach dogs to run along the ground rather than be buried beneath it. Well, that was quite the monologue. You think…

More like a rant… And you’re not hopped up on candy. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Stay the Night: A Slice of Life by Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Simple things. There’s watching a movie. Last night, it was 2007’s REC. But you like 2008’s Quarantine better. Once again, people would not call you an effing genius. This week.

And that is the question. What are you going to do this week? Conceptualizing existence?

Would you stop using that word? Cherry is the naughty English teacher/librarian. Her Yabbos? Jennifer Carpenter’s or Manuela Velasco’s? And that right there’s the concept.

Your son Braxton is the best man you’ve ever known, but he was simply an extension of yourself. His father’s son. Living and existing are synonyms, but one’s better… Maybe?

The Day Job vs Work. But neither is your raison d’etre. Something to think about this week. Your plans? Humiliations Galore. Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton.

1365 Days Without B III, Day 806 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 117 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties~

WillLeave a comment

My B only knew “pretty, pretty girls” who weren’t evil. V had a year and a half without me. He cries, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.” Yes, women bring trouble. Politically, pre/post-Halloween, porn… “Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties.”

Saturday, October 26, 2024

Meditation 117 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now, meaning I can afford a decent cable or satellite package. And there’s time to watch anything.

If I wasn’t too busy crying over Braxton. For your information, I wasn’t. And Virgil woke me up earlier than usual. Hell! He even watched me play a few rounds of TWD before his nap. So why are we talking at 8:40 AM? Because I was looking up Monster Girls. Lady Lunalesca, it’s the “Time of the Season.” Everybody know I’m a mother effin’ monster.

Yeah, when I’m busy moaning over Piper (Viper) Niven. With some Cherry mixed in. Lu? I have a thing for some BBWs. Girls other say they’re what? Unattractive and unpretty. And for those from Gilead, “Unwomen.” We’ll get to that, Lunalesca. If Braxton hadn’t already broken my heart with his passing, I’d say a few of these “broads” broke it.

Now, before I was breaking any vow of abstinence… chastity… self-fulfillment over a pro-wrestler… which I still miss, you know. I finished reading Backyard Dungeon 14: A Reverse Portal Fantasy. The protagonist, Eddie, added a human to his harem’s roster.

Lunalesca. So far, he has a (takes a breath) Elf, Half-Demon, Elf, Orc, Goblin, Spiran, Succubus, and Dryad. But human women are something else entirely. I should say all humans. A reason I need stress release with the state of the country. The whole world.

And dare I say one more reason, I never found Braxton a Mom. And as far as Virgil is concerned? Sigh. I’m still looking for the son I lost. And Virgil could use a Daddy.

Unfortunately, where have I been? (Takes another big breath). Exhales:

  1. Siren
  2. Shiva
  3. Sorceress Edea
  4. Sorceress Ultimecia
  5. Princess Ruto
  6. Dimitrescu Sisters: Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela
  7. Countess Alcina Dimtrescu
  8. Maria, Silent Hill 2
  9. Bubble Head Nurses
  10. Cecily Moore
  11. Lilith
  12. Cosplayers

Monsters, Creatures, the possessed, what have you. And that’s off the top of my head. But Lunalesca. More than Halloween. At the Day Job, they already have me working Christmas shenanigans. It’s people. The visual department lady supports Elon Musk!

Jessica Rey? You know I loved her as Alyssa Enrilé in Power Rangers Wild Force. She’s a Trump supporter! Eww! And there are a few MAGA women… (Cue Homer Drool).

Lunalesca, I’m a monster with such handsome sons. In this world, Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties.

1364 Days Without B III, Day 805 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 111 ~Braxton And Virgil, Positive~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Birthday Vigil. Level 4. 799 Days spent with me. May God have mercy on your soul… Anyway. Are there no presents? A freshly cut lawn and two full bowls of food and water. I ate the last of the Emergence Day cake. But Braxton And Virgil, Positive

Sunday, October 20, 2024

Meditation 111 ~Braxton And Virgil, Positive~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And before you forget, it’s not just any day. It’s Virgil’s birthday. A day that holds so much meaning and joy. (Laughs). So, can you try to be positive for his sake?

And to think you were sitting here wondering how to be positive for your own. Well, that ended as soon as you committed to getting up. And you’re still late getting started for today. And you have tears in your eyes. “Bright Light, Bright Light!” Who are you… Gizmo? Sigh. It could be from a lack of sleep or my actions last night. Mamimi Samejima…

There were “headlights” until 11:00 PM. And what time did you wake up this morning?

The very fact that you had to wake up at all is a cause for tears. Every week, I swear.

Braxton, though… Not one tear for him? Again, isn’t this Virgil’s day. Be proud, papa. Virgil’s made it to Level Four. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Everything Dies: Season One
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

One? Yeah, you’re still at one. But you have to keep reminding yourself about the one son you have left. 799 Days… That’s about two years and two months. When did Braxton become your son? It was the day the Olds got the new house, and you said, “Braxton, get in the car.” He’s been your Cerberus ever since. But even before then, you had a very positive vibe about him. Hell, Braxton was a Dire Wolf defending you from the Old Man as you spilled your B-positive blood all over or whatever your blood type is. Ask a Doc.

But once again, today is Virgil’s day. Do you remember what you did on his second or third birthday?Did you fail Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 14: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Or, more to the point, will you fail this week? Be grateful you still have a chance. But you’re not so positive you will. Virgil is much the same. He’s thankful to have his bed, a blanket, a chair, a loveseat, your bed, and comfy spots galore. But is he positive that you are the best thing he has going for him? Very doubtful. Hmm. I did clean up the yard. That was me, not you. I ate the last of the Emergence Day cake. I wondered why I suddenly had a craving last night.

However, Virgil has you now. What are you going to do? Sleep? Keep starting at Yuffie Kisaragi, all skeevy-like? Sing Happy Birthday before the annual birthday picture with Virgil. Uh, smile… Braxton And Virgil, Positive

1358 Days Without B III, Day 799 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 110 ~Preparations For Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

On Oct 19, 2019, I was in a hotel room in Rockford, Illinois, preparing to attend a wedding. It was the longest B, and I had been apart since fighting with the Old Man. And love is a long, long road. Be prepared, huh? Preparations For Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, October 19, 2024

Meditation 110 ~Preparations For Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I have a bunker somewhere. A few “pew, pews.” A pretty girl for loneliness…

Eww! Can I stop being gross, just for one day? Can I stop missing my Braxton? How about no, Lady Lunalesca. How about putting Virgil first? Tomorrow is his birthday.

Preparations? If Braxton, my firstborn son, and Virgil, my second son, have anything in common, sigh. I wasn’t ready to find either one of my boys. Braxton showed up in my Old Man’s hands one night. And Virgil showed that he could use a training pad. A testament to my laziness. And I wasn’t ready to lose my little B. But despite me being a meanie, I’ve been panicked every now and again over Virgil.

But again, what will I be doing for Virgil’s birthday? Lunalesca, last night was bad. Honestly, I can’t even remember it. Mad at the BBBQ. Sad for myself. And bad. I could really use your support right now, Lady Lu.

Be Prepared. Isn’t that what THEY say? That’s why the bed makes the perfect spot, my lady. “If I lay here. If I just lay here.” I could’ve saved Braxton. And what about saving “my” country. MAGA might take Virgil because… “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Was that supposed to be funny, Lunalesca? Today’s politics… It’s why I stick to fiction. I’m still not over Everything Dies: Season One. And then there was a movie.

The Substance… Well, I saw it. And I want it… And speaking of want. Again, there’s Little Virgil, who wants a better Dad. I wasn’t prepared for my two boys, but Braxton got a Dad, and Virgil got a father. Guardians of the Galaxy, much. I feel like I’m failing as a man, Lady Lu.

And that is something I’m never prepared for, like an effing zombie virus. It’s inevitable.

My… Passion! Though I haven’t really thought about Zoe Saldana since The Losers. And I’ve seen Pom Klementieff’s Yabbos because the algorithm knows me too well. But who’s Yabbos was I staring at today as I fought to rise to this seated position, Lady Lunalesca?

Of course, there was Cherry’s. There’s a nurse from Silent Hill. Oh, B’s honorary aunt.

Not her Yabbos! I’ve seen them. I just remembered her wedding to her former hubby.

The preparations it took to get to her wedding day and, according to her, “ain’t nobody humpin’ around” back then. I haven’t been humpin’ around in years. And loving anyone? Myself? Preparations For Braxton, Virgil

1357 Days Without B III, Day 798 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 104 ~That’s Braxton Line, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Whose Line Is It Anyway? I would be better off holding the line between my lips. Or the $300.00 worth of lines I wasted with “Outskirts Press.” Should I go all Wild ‘n Out and such? Every day, I live a LINE and cross one. That’s Braxton Line, Virgil.

Sunday, October 13, 2024

Meditation 104 ~That’s Braxton Line, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And the only thing that separates us is today and yesterday. You were STUPID versus… are STUPID.

Oh, what a way to start a Sunday? Huh, with a STUPID line. But you can do so much worse.

Braxton is gone. And the world is a STUPIDER place without him. However, there’s you.

Yesterday, I told Lady Lunalesca I shouldn’t eat sour and sweet… More like spicy and sour foods before bed. I should also add this. Don’t read about zombies, either. Only it wasn’t the monsters that disturbed me. And you seemed okay, too… Edging after midnight.

‘You Are a Sad, Strange Little Man.” Or you will be. It’s only been six hours. But what about being a good one? What about B III? How about 2-V? They’re only a breath away.

A line on a sheet of paper. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking Kelsey by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Now, I could talk about how I stumbled last week, and how you might this week. Where’s your faith? It’s easy to feel like it left with Braxton, and you’re realizing that no one is listening to your prayers. It’s been six hours, and you’ve already stumbled on number six. You would have stumbled on number four if Virgil had not made his appearance. Number three is a tough one.

Instead, let’s talk about the boundaries that were crossed last night and are still bothering you. I know you were admiring some businesswoman’s “assets,” but you’re not that kind of person. That’s funny. You have more respect than that… Sigh.

Anyway, I was reading Everything Dies: Season One, and with what Adam tried to do to that little girl, Emily… And what Harley tried to do to Emily’s mother, Kristin. These lines… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Everything Dies: Season One
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Failing these things… which you will, is one thing. But what some men will do. The disgusting, depraved degenerates. You’re a bad man, but nothing on such a level (shudders).

We’re talking a few pages in a book full of zombies. While you’re writing “Sofía’s Nightmare,” that would get you banned quicker than P$rnHub. There are certain lines you don’t cross. And when they are… Well, you wonder why you rise every day, old man.

Throw The Covers, and there you go, crossing a line. Leaving this bedroom is another. Every door opened. The food from packages eaten. Seven out of the ten things in the search bar. Your stories and these words. Lines you shouldn’t cross. Why? Because FORTY sucks! That’s Braxton Line, Virgil

1351 Days Without B III, Day 792 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 103 ~Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Hillary Clinton is a better person than Lauren Boebert and MTG. But if we were voting for adult films… Well, in politics or “poonanny” (puts on Ice Cube shades). I’d go AOC. So, I had a dream about bills, maybe… “Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil”

Saturday, October 12, 2024

Meditation 103 ~Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I can afford some “good” drugs. And no more Sour Punch before bed. Okay?

Last night was a bad night. I’ve had worse. The first night Braxton wasn’t here… Am I finally back to crying about B? I cried today, and it was only 7:45 AM. And that’s only out of disappointment that I’m already counting today as a loss. What about 4:00 AM?

Lady Lunalesca, if it wasn’t for the alarm on the phone, who knows how long I would have been trapped inside a nightmare. No, Trump wasn’t there. But alas, I’m starting to become like him. I dreamt of being trapped inside of a snowstorm with… Hillary Clinton, I swear. Chelsea Clinton had taken off. So a voice said we had to face her hubby ha-ha.

Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill! Where’s the science, though?

I often dream of women. Sans clothing… How many years has it been, Lady Lunalesca?

Talking to you AGAIN began because I had a terrible night with some woman, Lunalesca. A woman that was nowhere close to being mine. That’s why it’s no insult to not dream about Braxton’s Aunt. Honorary, mind you. Braxton wouldn’t have minded her in bed.

Only… I’ve never been close to having Cherry here, so I dream about her. Again, sans clothing. And how I begged… M Anime too. English and Latina women, dear Lunalesca.

But WHO broke me last night? Why am I so late talking to you? Between dishonoring my boy, bad dreams, and “busting a nut.” A brunette gymnast with pink fingernails.

Elaborate fantasies weren’t needed, Lunalesca.

Not that I could foot the bill for any of them? Do you remember all that money that went to my Old Man’s friend, Bill? I’m forty and barely pay any bills. My bum’s existence.

Lunalesca, I’m trying to figure out what that nightmare meant. If anything, for me. Hmm…

To recap, last night included fajita bowls and sour punch candy. So, my dietary habits.

Another night without a warm body beside me. Braxton’s in a box. Virgil was in B III’s room. Ironically, the only time I paid for “company” was for an adoption fee and a pretty maid.

It could be financial stress and betraying my boy. Braxton won’t have a stepmom, so why do I need a woman? Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil

1350 Days Without B III, Day 791 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 097 ~Little Braxton, Virgil, Me~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve been reading short stories, counting up the small change, and seeing a little bit of trouble. Like I have no schedule for the Day Job. Little V needs his nails trimmed. And there’s been less B talk since Emergence Day. Little Braxton, Virgil, Me

Sunday, October 6, 2024

Meditation 097 ~Little Braxton, Virgil, Me~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And is there a reason you’re not a mother-effin’ starboy yet? Besides being 6:00 AM right now…

“You need a hero, look in the mirror, there go your hero”
Pray for Me

Really? The Weeknd and Kendrick Lamar. You need the noise to compensate for the lack of it from your phone. Relax, it’s only been Widowmaker from Overwatch and your moans this morning. Beats groaning. With a little nostalgia for the things… girls you’ve never done.

Seriously, you’re pretty crass this morning. And judging from those Kendrick Lamar lyrics, you wanted to be positive. The lyrics came to mind at the Day Job, I swear. Hence, you’re not able to relax in bed right now. “Easy like Sunday mornin’,” I swear.

Braxton would have made it so. Are you going to cry about Little Braxton today? I cried twice yesterday, but neither time was about him. What about Virgil, then? And there’s always, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Devil’s Bargain by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I wish I could say I worried about the little things… Oops! So now it’s your turn. It’s why you’re up so early. You were supposed to be up at 4:00 AM. Well, something was up plenty… Eww! Something big, all up in the Widowmaker’s guts. Big distractions like Piper Niven’s clothing. This is a big problem you have. Lust! Only there’s so much bigger.

Do you remember how I said your phone isn’t making any noise? Today, you’re listening for the Day Job schedule to drop. Were there no working hours FOUND for you? Have you been (gulp) FIRED? Is it yet another FAILURE of your manhood that you can’t work a phone. You’re a forty-year-old man looking to fail these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking Kelsey by Kelli Wolfe
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So, if you aren’t going to let these little things crush you. Then why not have some big ideas? Right? No wonder your dreams have been filled with Piper Niven, Harmony Reigns, Estella Bathory, Cherry, etc. The “Skinny Minnies,” as Cherry calls them, get you into trouble. And that’s all you’ve been thinking about. And trouble has quite enticing figures.

Like falling in love with some petite brunette? Again, while I was at the Day Job. I thought about never falling in love. If you don’t get your schedule today… Where will you be when you have such thoughts. At the house with Virgil, who isn’t Braxton. Don’t be mean.

Such small words are mean. Be the bigger man. Eww, Advice! Little Braxton, Virgil, Me

1344 Days Without B III, Day 785 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will