Tag: Hell

Saga 298 ~Loving B’s and V’s…~

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Don’t ever ask me about my business or my B. A lie. I could talk about both forever. One more reason for V and still looking for a woman… “‘Cause our love would be forever,” like the song. And I’m obsessive in trying to be polite. Loving B’s and V’s.

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Saga 298 ~Loving B’s and V’s…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. I wish I could say it’s because I loved B enough. Like V… Any other letters?

Loving B’s and V’s. Hell! I said after B, there would never be another. And being the prick, I am… There still isn’t. Love at first sight, indeed. I should have remembered that with B. I’m sure when you first heard me mention B, V. Well if I wasn’t talking about the boys; then it had to be my business. Color Me Badd… Yeah, here comes all the Pop Culture. From the idea that “I Wanna Sex You Up?” Well, I do. So why don’t I? 115 days still crying. There was a time I thought I would never have sex again. Penance, Punishment, Pressure. To love, somehow, something, someone as much as I do, my boy. I love you, our kids, and my business.

Dotting i’s and crossing t’s when it comes to business. Funny, I’d never tell you something like, “My business, my business. Stay the eff up out my business, ’cause it’s mine, oh mine.” Ludacris? really? I’m shocked that you decided to “Stay With Me.” Surprising. “Why am I so emotional? No, it’s not a good look, gain some self-control” Whatever. When it comes to my son. I can’t say that I’ve even given it the college try. He was mine. And yet when it comes to the “sin” that is this place. “Take me baby, or leave me.” Uh oh! I’m not worried about this. But it’s being a grieving father. My firstborn son… gone! Baby girl, I want you involved. But “On My Own.”

Minding my P’s and Q’s. As it isn’t right to be crying all the time. But grief, my love (sigh).
It’s sort of a forever thing. Like, love? And as the song goes, “But he talks like a gentleman,” and I try. But you have to realize I had no idea who I was until I was around 21, love. Only then, it wasn’t getting drunk. “You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love.” Last song? Anyway, it wasn’t between a pair of legs. It was a ball of fluff’s finding me. Let me rephrase, ha-ha. It was the puppy stepping on my head every morning. Polite? No. But my reason. He is love. You are loved. Loving B’s and V’s…

814 Days Without B III, Day 255 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 297 ~A Person’s Wisdom Yields Patience~

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I’d say I’m a patient human being. A waiting or sick one? One more question and no wisdom. Then I’m rushing to get out of everyone’s way or to get them out of my face. Now Braxton could be Zen. Virgil’s scared. A Person’s Wisdom Yields Patience.

Monday, April 24, 2023

Saga 297 ~A Person’s Wisdom Yields Patience~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… But what Billionaire do you know has patience? Then again, what do I know of money, Madam?

I want to say the boys (Braxton and Virgil) have taught me plenty. Hell! I’m still waiting for Braxton to return… I’ll be waiting, always. Even now, calling, Braxton! Madam, even when he was an old man… forever my little boy. Nevertheless fifteen. Madam, I would wait for him unless I saw he was in pain. Braxton had so much living left to do. One of the common questions when it comes to euthanasia is the timing. And how long was it before Virgil Vivi came into this world? By my count, 559 days ago after Braxton’s passing? Own it? Own them both! I killed Braxton and brought Virgil here. There was something I heard once about the time between murders. Am I not merciful?

I’m patient. Because, as the song goes, “I’m just a sucker for pain.” My own, to be honest, Madam. One of the few things I’ll admit to owning. A sadist, “pretending.” Masochist, if anything. I don’t want to hurt anyone… outside the bedroom. Ok, that’s a big lie for sure. But speaking physically, I believe everyone runs as hot as me. Like speed, sins, and sexually. Why am I always lying? Sex is the one area taken “Nice & Slow,” Madam. Only I feel as though I’m wasting everyone’s time. What? By merely existing. Patience, Madam. Mentally, never. I want to learn because stupidity is a disease. Knowledge is Power. Education is Freedom. I both had no patience, and I was too slow. Obtaining wisdom

I love my Braxton. That’s 18 years, two months, and 24 days. I’m sure one of these days; I’ll read a book that convinces me that his death wasn’t my doing. Perhaps to cherish Virgil. Yeah. as I’m “Patiently Waiting” to see that girl’s yabbos or another one’s ta-tas. And speaking of my imagination, it’s been 115 days since the last release. Madam? Dammit! I’m waiting to be a better person. Last week I talked about staring at the “Man in the Mirror” for 38 years. Who are you? What’s wrong with you? What the fuck? I could continue. It’s like being back in class and writing out the problems. I never knew the answers. Will they come? Different questions? A Person’s Wisdom Yields Patience.

813 Days Without B III, Day 254 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 293 ~Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy~

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Once Bitten, Twice Shy… A phrase? On my playlist? The reminder of a pup while at the Day Job. Hell! Why was I even there? B needed food, and he ain’t here no more. The other pup has an upcoming vet visit. The long walk? No! Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Saga 293 ~Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy~

809 Days Without B III, Day 250 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I would be if you were still here. Or I had that billion, I promised.

I’ve always wanted to kill someone. Whoa, Dude! Is that your voice I’m hearing, or am I talking to myself? I have a lot of explaining to do. You know how that goes. The time… Okay, you’ll be happy to know that I didn’t spend all of it sleeping as is my way B III. Reveling in food, reading, and effing raging at myself for today. Two out of three. Anyway, how does that equate to me wanting to kill anyone? I’m always angry, Braxton. So, I’m sharing with the freeloader… Okay, Virgil. He tried taking my fingers off… with the food. Once bitten, twice shy, aha; continuing on. If I lost a finger, I’d never feed 2V ever again. And killing? I killed you.

I’ve always wanted to uh… Let’s say join you. The police and others have been everywhere these past few days. Add to that the manager. I don’t need cops at the door. And I need to stay employed. For what it’s worth. But B, the idea of death doesn’t bother me. No, not ever. Yours did, fair enough. But my own? I’d only have to be lucky once. It crosses my mind more and more. Despite numerous attempts. Hell! You were there, Braxton, watching—something else to apologize for. I’d say I’ve always wanted to apologize—every day. B III, the last time I thought I was dying… Well, I remember the day you died, Sunday, January 31, 2021. And now Virgil Vivi’s appointment (sigh).

I’ve always wanted to save a life, Braxton. And isn’t this it? One more tough week, and now Virgil sees a doctor Friday. It scares me to death. I wish. Virgil Vivi needs his vaccination. And what about this existence? Once more, I’ve felt all sorts of ill. Or should I say a Republican? Yeah, a member of the GOP. Once again caught doing something wrong by a black person. Um, watching dog videos at the Day Job. I keep saying it. I miss you! I’ve always wanted to bring you back to me. Only I’m not reading about reincarnation. Once bitten and all that. Having killed the one I love, how could I ever? You live in me. And Virgil? Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 292 ~Humiliations B Gone Virgil~

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Of all the words … I would say LOVE is the most misunderstood. But then again. “This Is America.” The one that nobody seems to get is FREEDOM. Now if you ask me to stay in my lane as a black man. My word is Humiliation. Humiliations B Gone Virgil

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Saga 292 ~Humiliations B Gone Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as much as I act like a Republican and an “American Idiot.” One word… FREEDOM!!!

No, I haven’t screamed that at the top of my lungs while I don’t know. Trying to storm the capital, going on right-wing news, or being disemboweled… eww. (Shudders). Now you know why I take treachery, treason, so damn seriously. My punishment for B? What day is it, 808? But also I’m time traveling. So I don’t know what humiliations I’ve faced on this day. At this precise moment, though, I’m humiliated and embarrassed. What about motivation? One of these days, I’m not sure before this one, I meditated, Echo. For the record, today’s meditation was horrible. I have to find the time. Time Inspector. We’ll get to that. Anyway, in one of the better meditations. They ask for the WHY. There it was, FREEDOM!

The FREEDOM to be humiliated? I was thinking about Bella Thorne last night. Oh! Not for that Inspector? Sorry Bella Thorne. I like “Lonely” and all but Inspector. I’m “freaky.” Freaky but not a freak, and we go all into that, okay. It’s like Dennis Leary in this movie um:

“I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jello all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to. Okay, pal?”
Demolition Man

Now if I were a better “man,” I might go the route of Posse (1993). A great man like King David (from the film) though I want to be Jesse Lee. Revenge? That’s something else I can say I want. Much like that feeling for “Sexual Healing,” it comes and goes. Did I say that?

“I’m talking about revolution without bullets. Revolution without violence or bloodshed. It’s easier to shoot a gun than it is to read a book. It’s easier to take a man’s life than it is to educate him and teach him about life. It’s easier to hate than it is to love.The revolution I’m talking about is a revolution of the mind and the spirit. And education, that’s the key. Education leads to freedom. Education is freedom. Education will teach you how to do it yourself as opposed to asking someone else to do it for you. And around it our own town… Freemanville!”
Posse (1993)

And 1993 was a good year, but what about something more current? Sucker Punch (2011) What’s My Age Again? Anyway:

“All I require from you is a slither of a moment. To have you not by force, but simply as a man and a women. To see in your eye, that simple truth, that you give yourself to me freely. Not because you have to, but because you want to. Now of course, for such a gem, I will give as well. I’m willing to give you freedom. Pure and total freedom. Freedom from the drudgery of everyday life. Freedom as abstract ideal. Freedom from pain. Freedom from responsibility. Freedom from guilt. From regret. Freedom from sadness. Freedom from loss. The freedom to be happy. Don’t close your eyes; I need you to look at me. The freedom to love.”
Deleted Scene, Sucker Punch (2011)

Okay, so FREEDOM or Humiliation? You know, I erased something I wanted to say, Echo. I talked about LUST a few days ago. Hell! The FREEDOM to be “As Nasty as They Wanna Be.” I’m way worse, Dear Echo. But that’s not why I’m a sinner, ashamed, and uh, guilty. A father’s greatest Humiliation is to be he who failed his children. Well, only Braxton. There’s the freeloader. I have to stop thinking that about Virgil Vivi. I know, Inspector. Do I want some FREEDOM back being without him? As if I’ve had FREEDOM Inspector. Even now, I sit here… I wanted to say a slave. Too far, Inspector? Much! But that is to exist. “Welcome to My Life” If only Humiliations B Gone Virgil.

808 Days Without B III, Day 249 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 291 ~Beauty, Brains, Braxton, Virgil~

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Let’s show some etiquette. Have I ever? I’m cursing, complaining, or crying about my boy. Then there’s the beauty, brains, breeding, and bounty of my blood. If the wife’s a goddess and I’m rich. Promises to B and V Beauty, Brains, Braxton, Virgil

Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Saga 291 ~Beauty, Brains, Braxton, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what do people like me do with all their time? Shooting, shitting on people. Sex…

Um, some things should be separate. What was I thinking? If anything, I’m trying not to. Hell! Isn’t that what meditation is; clearing one’s mind? Except Braxton is here as always. My heart? Since I’m in a movie sort of mood. As Finn put it in Great Expectations, the (1998) edition. “It’s my heart, and it’s broken.” And you know I’ve been trying to repair it for 807 days, the last count. Even though today is Saturday, April 15, 2023. Meditation has me motivated. Or maybe the lack of masturbation. But I’ve been edging plenty. Why should I do either when I have you, lovely baby girl, my darling wife? Saturday, tomorrow, Monday, now, I will mourn Braxton Barks. And all that time in between?

Beauty, Brains, Breeding, Bounty. Perfect for a “Cry-Baby” like me. If only I had time to watch the movie tonight. The two of us or the whole family. Does that mean Virgil as well? I’m still trying to figure him out. As well as myself, to be honest. Braxton, though; Braxton will always be my son. He couldn’t be more mine if he shared my bloodline. I fought with my old man once. Braxton knew my blood; I’m afraid to say. And you don’t want me to say it, but Braxton’s blood remains on my hands. I killed my effing family. Now that’s something I shouldn’t be saying out loud, but Triple B was/is my family. Today there’s you and them. Beauty, Brains, Breeding, Bounty

It won’t be a movie that lulls me to sleep tonight. I’ll need even more meditation. Sometime soon, I’m sure it will get old. But not my love, my lust, my dying from lack of you. Is that how you feel about me being the way I am, like my ideas of being a man? A husband, a father, and at one point, Braxton’s favorite. If a man cannot “afford” a family, then he shouldn’t have one. A man provides. So I have the bounty down; I always have. And I always will. Um, breeding, ha? You gave us such incredible kids, but… B III. He is my heart. You gave our kids Beauty and Brains. Love? You, kids, furbabies, always. Beauty, Brains, Braxton, Virgil

807 Days Without B III, Day 248 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 290 ~Some Are Born Many Times~

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Well, did I survive the day? Are we talking today or Monday? I was dead this morning when I cut off the alarm at 4:00 AM. Then spent 1:00 PM edging. And I’m sure I did something STUPID today. But I got the right rule down… “Some Are Born Many Times.”

Monday, April 17, 2023

Saga 290 ~Some Are Born Many Times~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… so seeing that money is no object, let’s see if I can get this right today hmm.

As I’ve died so many times. But I only need to get it right once. Only you’ve never seen me write a goodbye… um, a suici… I’ve never said, “I’m going to see my son, so take care, everybody.” Please! Madam, I’m more inclined to go all in with this. “My respects to all friends, confusion to all enemies. God bless you. Take care of my little boy.” The Alamo. That’s from the 2004 edition, to be precise, Madam. How I hate counting these years. Talking to Lady Lunalesca today… It’s Saturday, April 15, 2023. So yes, I’m time-traveling. Even now, I wonder why. As I took a catnap, once again, I hoped, “prayed” I wouldn’t wake up Madam. Reincarnation’s a bitch. Braxton understands that.

I told Lunalesca that, approaching thirty-nine. I see how I’ve wasted this entire existence (sigh). Not that I ever asked for it. Or the fact that I have to relive it again and again, hmm. I keep telling myself that when I go to the Day Job. And they ask how I’m doing. I’ll say: “I’m waiting to see who will piss me off today.” It’s more like, “I’m waiting to see what kills me.” As the song goes, “You make me wanna die. I’ll never be good enough.” I don’t have to wait for them, dammit. The fact that we’re talking today… Dying. Yesterday or a few days before, I let the Day Job take this Monday and why. The cash to live, ha-ha?

If I told you about every single time I died. Much like The Cherry Collision. Or The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Hell! I have pictures. NSFW work, though, Madam. Of course, there is Sunday, January 31, 2021. It was around 4:00 PM Braxton passed. Madam, Thursday, June 3, 2021. The day my “grief” ended? Never! But my cock gushed. Tuesday, January 11, 2022, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. The first time I needed a doc for something besides my eyes. And how do I feel now, with The Cherry Collision? Monday, January 30, 2023. The day I stunk worse than my Granddad—his funeral day. Then there’s E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. What about tomorrow Madam? Unlike Braxton, I die, return… Some Are Born Many Times.

806 Days Without B III, Day 247 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 286 ~Virgil, You’ll B Who~

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When I think about who I am and who I want to be. Can I go back before the Olds signed whatever in the hospital? Before I signed off on what would happen to B. More writing when V stepped into the world. B and I, we were just us. Virgil, You’ll B Who

Thursday, April 13, 2023

Saga 286 ~Virgil, You’ll B Who~

802 Days Without B III, Day 243 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s polite to ask. Isn’t it? I want to think the best part was me.

Am I feeling good about myself? Considering at the moment, it’s Monday, April 10, 2023. I know I won’t finish our conversation today. But I’m time traveling. And I can already tell you this week is going to suck. I know you can always say that I’m still alive right? But whoever I was the day you left died with you. And how many times has it been B III? I’m still mad at myself. Yes, always about what I did. But if we’re talking about more recent events. Today is Monday. I was supposed to tell Madam Justice all about Rule 287. It says, “Some Are Born Many Times.” I’m missing books on reincarnation. I think I’ve given up in a way—only Death.

Grim effing Reaper, Necromancer, a god? Way before meeting you, B, I had such dreams. Oh, no worries, Triple B; I was lazy then as I am now. Only why am I up right now? There are so many people making their way in this world. Studying medicine, though, Braxton? I’ve told you that there was a time when I wanted to be a veterinarian. One more thing I could’ve done to keep you alive. As far-fetched as it may seem. Because working on people… I don’t know people. And you know what they make me out to be, Braxton—being your Dad. I know who I was, who I am, and I was proud. And who I am now. Who I want to be.

Well, somebody who’s not crying, for starters. Is this because I’m thinking of your cute face? Or that I’m so tired. Be lazy, be dead, be me like father like son. You’d follow me anywhere. And if anything, I’m a dead man. All these books say you’ll beat us there. Rainbow Bridge? I wish I could be the kind that believed in that Braxton. But I wanted to believe in reincarnation too. And then I looked at Virgil, and for a moment, you will be… Popular? Hell! I post Virgil’s picture every day almost… An influencer that has a dog? Not me! And Virgil’s not you. I know that. Braxton, I want to be someone, not thinking of joining you daily. Virgil, You’ll B Who

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 285 ~Braxton Counts Virgil’s Colors~

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Are dogs colorblind? One of my last memories of Braxton, when he was nearly blind, was his running from his granddad into my arms. Hell! Green to live. Make his stepmom turn red. Black to join him. And V’s white. “Braxton Counts Virgil’s Colors”

Wednesday, April 13, 2023

Saga 285 ~Braxton Counts Virgil’s Colors~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m not in the lot that can paint with all the colors of the wind.

Hell! I’m having trouble seeing black and white. So that’s today’s first humiliation, sin. I’m time traveling, so today is Monday, April 10, 2023. Meaning this week’s gonna suck. Anyway, today I was supposed to write about Rule 287, “Some Are Born Many Times.” (Sigh) I’m still always thinking about my son. And his lack of reincarnation. V’s colors. Let me get this out. So I couldn’t read what I’d typed prior. And by accident, I repeated Rule 284. “Your Punchline Means My Punches.” Seriously, everything was sharper Sunday. Speaking of which, again, there’s Braxton and his brown, beige, or bronze coloring. My boy is/was the most beautiful thing ever. Then I remember seeing Virgil… Like Braxton spoke, “Can’t get more black and white, Dad.”

That was a mistake. Or maybe I’m crazy. I adored the brown around Virgil’s eyes. Inspector, you know I have an eye for the most beautiful things. Despite their expense. Shouldn’t I be eyeing green as in dollars? Again my focus has been shot to Hell. Well, since Sunday night. That was my loneliest time. Remember? The longest night without B. That was by the time you read this 801 days ago. Inspector, yesterday… I humiliated myself. Begging a girl I found on OnlyFans. Oops! Where’s all my money gone? As always, I would have spent way more than that for the “Lady In Red.” And no, I’m not talking about Ariela in Dirty Latina Maids. Though remembering her Inspector… Opening my eyes now. Woke!

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention today’s shooting. Well, Monday. How does anybody open their eyes anymore? Hell! How does the GOP even sleep, hmm? Money, Inspector? Again something else we have in common because I would rather be lost to the blackness. Inspector, what I mean is, if I had my way. I’d be with my B III… Know what that means? I would lose myself to the darkness I have inside me. Always and forever, Inspector. Braxton’s little brown hairs on my clothes. His love and protection. My pendant of us. And Virgil is as white as a ghost, ha-ha. But three black spots and brown around his eyes that wait. Everyone’s waiting for the black man. Braxton Counts Virgil’s Colors.

801 Days Without B III, Day 242 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 284 ~Solve For B, V~

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I hate Math but History and Reading… Now those were my subjects. And I’m trying my best not to be a Republican should I ever make that billion I’m always talking about. Learning “my” history, love. And, oh, dead fur babies. My Braxton. Solve For B, V

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

Saga 284 ~Solve For B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should love Math. Like an effing Republican, I should sing “More, More, More!”

I said Sunday… Now, what is it? You know there are some things I can’t seem to escape, love. One of those is that I’m a selfish son of a bitch. Another is that my son is dead. Or would you have me talk about Andrea True or Billy Idol? Make your choice. Mine always is grief. Crying about B keeps me from weeping, raging, or effing the whole world, which is what billionaires do. Once you’re a billionaire, why worry about money? I wish solving for X attributed something to that. Only I doubt it. Science, History. “Where Is The Love?” Oh, that’s something I have to ask the man in the mirror every day, if not every moment, to keep moving forward, love.

You. My love for you is… Well, I want to get as poetic as I want to get political, love, which is why I’m talking to you on a Sunday. That’s something, right? And the fact that I even climbed out of bed and put on clothes. Braxton’s hoody as usual, but winning. I don’t know if it’s the meditation that I’ve started. This is the 8th day. I’m always adding something new to my plate, and speaking of which, vitamins? Everything, nothing? I can’t say that I’m feeling better. But Baby Girl, you “Keep On Liftin'” me. Anesthesia? Do you remember the “Dark Nightingale” from “Rumble Roses?” Anatomy, Breasts?” Growing up, there was a time I thought sex and/or money fixed damn near anything.

And considering it’s Sunday, so 100 Days. And after B died, it was 161… impossible. I always return to the numbers. He’s been gone… WOW! 800 Days today. And I’m still alive with V 241 Days. I can’t say it’s love, but he has his appointment for shots. But as for love, “My Love,” or should I go older as I sing this AHEM, “living for the love of you.” And that ain’t ever gonna change. Even though it’s been 100 Days. And more, I hope so. Why? I had Cherry ask me that. Considering I’m always in the mood, Baby Doll. I love you, I love our family, I love my boy. Virgil’s alright. And my XXX? To love me? Solve For B, V

800 Days Without B III, Day 241 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 283 ~Your Punchline Means My Punches~

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“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth,” I believe that was Tyson. One more reason I love B. He didn’t talk much, and he barked at everyone else. Then there are earbuds. But I talk to myself… oh no! Your Punchline Means My Punches.

Monday, April 10, 2023

Saga 283 ~Your Punchline Means My Punches~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Fourth Rule

NOTE: I wrote about this effing rule twice! So much for my focus and concentration!

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… Now that’s funny. But I can buy more than $10.00 Walmart earbuds with that money. Work harder?

I rather hurt my ears than my hands today. However, considering what time it is. I did both this morning. Must have. I punched out a clock or went deaf. Who knows. Well, Braxton would or does… I’ve talked about the looks he’d give me; what I wouldn’t give for one of those looks now. And I try to recreate them with Virgil. He’s not Triple B, reincarnated. Oh, I’m reading yet another book on dying fur babies. Find that funny, huh? Not you, of course, Madam. You and all the girls know how I feel about my son. And with everything people have made fun of me about. Even the universe knows that my B III. He’s off-limits. Unheard, unseen… humor; why so serious

Only there’s plenty to make fun of me about. Though if we’re talking about something like last night… I’ll say I’m more sad and pathetic than angry. If Cherry understood. Okay, last night I spent more money, $35.00, to see some titties. Online strippers (sigh). There’s always the fact that I’m begging to see Cherry’s yabbos and M Anime. Haven’t I said before men and women can’t be friends? Friends, but there’s always, um, desire…

Hell! Braxton was my best friend, and I effed him worse than anybody. I killed him.

Anyway, there was this other girl who reminded me somewhat of cuckolding. Maybe that was General Hospital when Elizabeth was sleeping with Lucky’s half-brother. Getting way off the subject… I don’t care for laughter.

So what joke gets me to punch someone in the face? I’m surprised I still have the Day Job for one. Again I killed my son. Euthanasia. I don’t need the cops outside the door like last night. Well, that was more Fire Department and an Ambulance for the neighbors.

Punishment for what happened to Braxton. I still deserve it. But yes, I’m frightened (sigh). In a way, Madam, I’m so busy hurting myself in this way or that. The Cherry Collision or denying myself release from pornographic passions… It’s easy to get angry. Rageful. Madam, this existence is a joke. And when other people remind me of it… Madness. That’s why I like hearing about “My Dick.” No Joke? Your Punchline Means My Punches

799 Days Without B III, Day 240 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will