Tag: Marquis de Joker

Tale 054 ~B Thankful For Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

The motivations I listened to spoke on Gratitude. I’m grateful for the meditations that help me breathe. It’s getting harder to do by the day. But my boys need me…Did I really say that? Believe it? B III was here once, and V. “B Thankful For Virgil.”

Thursday, August 24, 2023

Tale 054 ~B Thankful For Virgil~

935 Days Without B III, Day 376 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hell! Today is Sunday, August 20, 2023, Time Travel. And today’s already to be ruined.

Do I blame you for not being here anymore? Nope. I still blame “me, myself, and I” for that. But I am thankful you were here once upon a time. Start with Gratitude, right? Little B, I’ll be grateful if your grandparents haven’t called today. We’re getting even closer, B. I mean not you and I because I can’t hear you. I’m trying, but I’m not waiting around either. No! I’m much too busy hitting the buttons and accomplishing nothing. So, why did I get these ideas of Gratitude? As I sit here in bed today. You’d be locked up. Yeah, that lets you know exactly what I was doing. And you thought my baby talk was crazy. With you, I had a voice B.

I’m thankful I heard it once. And that I didn’t sound crazy. Okay, yeah, it was plenty of madness. But at least I wasn’t talking to myself. Virgil’s here, but we never speak at all. He doesn’t know me, and as the song goes, “I think I’m turning Japanese.” Successful? Only at wasting my time with that sort of thing. What? You had a thing for your Aunt’s Yabbos, if I recall. I’m grateful I had… have a friend like her. But I haven’t heard from her in a while. Have you gone to check on her? You both know my feelings on E-Day: Emergence, Existence, and Extinction. To you, it was more fries and maybe a bit of steak. Grateful I’m eating anything now.

But I feel so good right now because I haven’t thought about it in a bit B. Not thinking… I haven’t thought about the fence being broken. It’s holding up well. And the yard? Humiliations Galore! Instead, I’m trying to avoid that, so it’s pretty short. And Virgil? Sometimes I wonder if you send him. I haven’t thought for a while he’s reincarnated. There are more reasons to shout praises. so that I’m not disappointed saying, “B wouldn’t do that.” But your grandparents… Hell! What about today, as in your Thursday? This is the worst day —at least, day job-wise. You know. As long as Virgil isn’t crying Wednesday and I ignore him, then… Am I thinking of joining you? Gratitude. B Thankful For Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 053 ~B’s DIE Job Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So much red ink in school. Gray hairs in my beard… I’m too old to have my Olds signing checks for me. The most official thing I’ve signed is for the death of my firstborn son. And his little tan hairs are replaced with white ones. B’s DIE Job Virgil

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Tale 053 ~B’s DIE Job Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’d say anything or do anything… Other than saying my boy’s dead or killing him…

Again? But as I approach thirty-nine, that’s the only thing I can hold as an accomplishment —the stuff on “my” Bucket List. I want to be in love. And I want to know what It’s like to kill… thank you, Eli Roth. Am I better off than The 40-Year-Old Virgin… There have been girls. A lot… Why aren’t I a billionaire already? And have I paid for sex? Do I need a priest? Uh, we’ll get to that Inspector. But on the subject of death. The only one that’s come close to my wrath looks at me in the mirror every morning. Why are we talking about this this morning? Afternoon, considering time travel. Today is Thursday, August 17, 2023. But on Sunday, January 31, 2021. Braxton’s Fire and Blood.

Must I be so dramatic? And as if I could be like George R. R. Martin. Aren’t I a writer? Inspector, this whole damn month, I’ve felt like “Comic Book Guy” on The Simpsons. Oh!

How many days have I spent writing, and for what? It’s not fear, Inspector… Laziness. This is one more reason I’m not a doctor. Well, a scientist. Suppose you asked me for specifics besides me being STUPID. Inspector, I’ve looked into Virology. Zombie Virus? Solanum? Maybe I do need a priest. But I would never become one. Once upon a time, someone said I would become a preacher. I only had a use for God with two things, you know. To save my son. And for sex… How’s the brothel?

I’m not ashamed of saying I wanted to be Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt. A particular photographer. Or The Most Talented Man In The World, Johnny Sins. My God! Inspector, what am I going to do? I still have a few weeks if I’m lucky. Will my Olds call? I wouldn’t blame them at all. My entire 30s have been one freaking disappointment, Echo. Hell! This existence. What am I, Inspector? The only comfort Braxton had was my love. And that only gets you so far. Again, look to my Olds. A son with a part-time Day Job who writes. All their checks vs. my words. One last job? Ruin me and Braxton’s existences. Virgil’s here, white hairs replacing brown/beige/tan. B’s DIE Job Virgil

934 Days Without B III, Day 375 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 050 ~Virgil Voices Concerns, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

If Virgil talked… He’d be me. Be quiet and cry when he’s alone. And appreciate what’s on the screen. If a bit racist. I hate Braxton’s silence but like the song, “Funny when you’re dead, how people start listenin.'” “Virgil Voices Concerns, Braxton.”

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Tale 050 ~Virgil Voices Concerns, Braxton~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now… Hey! Are you even listening to me? No wonder you listened to that Meditation on loneliness. Anyway…

You need to start listening to V. And then what? As it says in The Road, “Even if you knew what to do, you wouldn’t know what to do.” A puking dog needs a veterinarian. Hell! That was a couple of weeks ago. But then again, Little B’s been gone for 931 days. And he was crying his heart out for a day, and then there wasn’t another sound. Meal? Nothing! That’s the telltale sign. Isn’t it? There’s a song that goes to the tune of “Nothing hurts like your mouth, mouth, mouth.” And that’s why Braxton isn’t speaking to me. Virgil is too afraid to. And then there’s the song you woke up to this morning, “Stop Crying Your Heart Out.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 2, Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 023 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’re thinking you need a bigger list. Hell! A bigger boat, considering you might need somewhere to exist come E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Tomorrow? Please! Monday will be hard enough. And E-Day isn’t that soon, but it’s coming fast. Did you have to use words like hard, fast, and coming? Yeah, earlier today… You don’t want to listen to yourself, but learning to speak Japanese via Twitter isn’t helping anything. Ijirare Fukushuu Saimin, Seika Jogakuin Kounin Sao Ojisan, Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku. But aren’t you always saying, “This Is America.” Such languages. There’s also Riley Steele and Sydney Sweeney. It was a busy morning, if not very productive. And even the book you’re reading… Uh, “Backyard Dungeon: A Reverse Portal Fantasy.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon: A Reverse Portal Fantasy
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 023 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Will you even finish it considering the possible “prejudice” Nictors? Anyway, your critic will go all in on your lack of a detailed train of thought. Or you’re all depressed. You’re a deviant. That’s your mind. And that’s the point here —your voice, words… thoughts. You’ll listen to everyone else this week but not yourself. It’s why you don’t fix your face as your Old Man would say. What’s the point? And that’s why V is just like you, ha-ha. He only cries when no one can see him, but they hear him… all the time. But what about you? Is that why Braxton is quiet? You need to hear the new guy. He’s in front of you, as am I. Virgil Voices Concerns, Braxton.

931 Days Without B III, Day 372 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 048 ~Braxton, The End, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“My” story, me existing… It’s a bit like the Bible. I never read it all. Has a lesson here or there, B, a time in high school, B’s aunt, M anime. But the story shouldn’t be taken as gospel. And don’t burn it, like my B was. Braxton, The End, Virgil

Friday, August 18, 2023

Tale 048 ~Braxton, The End, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I have a feeling that’s not how the story will end. Only it should end.

My favorite critic, of course, was railing about why I must sound all depressive. And how many days have I talked about Braxton? 929 days and counting. Braxton’s story ended. And mine should have ended there as well at the age of 36. And here I am, turning 39 ha. That’s nothing to laugh at. But don’t I remember what day it is? Someone’s birthday. Happy Birthday, M Anime!!! Welcome to Level 35! I envy you. Given your years, I’d… Well, we’ll get to that, won’t we, Lady Sophia? But for now, it’s Braxton’s story. Or that’s what I should say. On top of everything else, there’s been guilt with a book I’ve read. Hmm? It has nothing to do with dead fur babies. Hamster?

No, the hamster is alive and well. Even Grayson’s relationships are working out great with Robyn, his English Rose. And Julia the witch. Two sets of Yabbos, I swear, Sophia. Yes, it’s Friday. But I figured it would take me longer to get through Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 by Eric Vall. There was a moment this morning after I realized Braxton wasn’t stepping on my head. And when I did a morning meditation. Anyway, what came next was the idea that I could become a harem romance writer. But it’s too late for that, Sophia. Inevitably, E-Day will come -Emergence, Existence, Extinction. And my Olds will realize that I’m 39. There’s comfort in the fact that if they wanted to cut me off… why wait?

Why wait? As I look at the nightstand beside me. It’s an altar to the end of all things, yep. On top is B III’s shrine. There are his ashes, condolence card, cremation certificate, etc. In the middle are a few knives. An emergency fund. Braxton’s aunt’s wedding card. Oops! In the next drawer are more weapons that scare me to even look at these days. All I’ve been feeling. And the last drawer is empty. I want to say since I quit “adult entertaining.” Myself, of course. And that’s why I’m rushing to finish Eric Vall’s book. And all the “anime” I’ve seen on Twitter. Wanting more it never ends, Lady Sophia. This depression, disease of existence, deviancy. “My” story… Braxton, The End, Virgil

929 Days Without B III, Day 370 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 047 ~ Virgil’s “Hi” Enough Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

New vice? I don’t drink. B’s Aunt could tell you that. It’s been 20 days since I gave up “something.” And I don’t have a drug connect. As much as my Olds tried. And saying “hi” to the furry… I’m still not sure what V is. Virgil’s “Hi” Enough Braxton.

Thursday, August 17, 2023

Tale 047 ~ Virgil’s “Hi” Enough Braxton~

928 Days Without B III, Day 369 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Judging by what time it is AHEM, I had one wild night. Well, not really…

These past few nights, I’ve been going to sleep crying tears. Balance it, ain’t you. Fortunately, I’m still able to sleep at all, Braxton. I know you’ll hate me saying this, but I still don’t want to wake up. Every night, if I were one for prayer. That’s what I would ask God for. Instead, I sit here while Virgil lies at the foot of the bed. Daddy’s crying? Braxton, how many times have I said, Virgil’s not my son, yet… One whole year? Honestly, how long were we together before you gained such a title? I keep going back to the moment you jumped in the car. And how you hated any car rides. But for “One Shining Moment…” Well, you learned to fly.

Listen to me as if you weren’t jumping all the time. All you had to do was see one of your aunts. I saw your actual Aunt a few days ago. Gotcha Day, to be exact. Sadly, I don’t remember the day she got you or, again, the very day you became my son. But your Aunt was always in your heart. The way you would cozy up to her. When Aunt Carolina saw… I swear she was so jealous. But let me tell you this, Little B. The way you would hide in Aunt Carolina’s boobs… As if I couldn’t have done the same thing if I wanted. Yabbos! Beautiful faces are one thing. But some great Yabbos… It’s the reason I’m still breathing.

How sad is that? It’s not for the love of Virgil, a voracious life, or even getting some pus.. well, vagina. B III, you were scared of girls, well, the furry variety anyway. And your dad? Anyway, my point is, I was reading another one of those books that talk about… um, man stuff. I didn’t want to think about how I sent you straight to Heaven… or Hell with me. Now, I don’t tell Virgil about such things. How about “Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!” There’s “Hello, Hi.” Braxton, V doesn’t raise his voice either unless I’m leaving. Requires “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal” Ah! To reach you B. Virgil’s “Hi” Enough Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 046 ~Virgil, We’ll Be Listening~

WillLeave a comment

What big ears you have. Is the hole in the fence bigger? Is the phone loud enough.? Then there’s Virgil, who never makes a sound unless I walk out the door. How long do the neighbors have to listen to him? If I will. “Virgil, We’ll Be Listening”

Wednesday, August 16, 2023

Tale 046 ~Virgil, We’ll Be Listening~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I haven’t been complaining about my ears, the fence, Virgil vomiting on the phone… Uh?

Hell! I should be ashamed that it took him “almost” doing that to get my attention to do something. And after a few days, how is life for him now? If anything, the fact that he’s alive after one year here. Gotcha Day wasn’t big, ha. He had a bath and brush. A new bed? No! If I’m going to spend money… It’s going towards putting my firstborn, my Braxton, in a box. And what about the new one I’m supposed to be buying? If I had money… And that would take getting out of bed. Or how about, I don’t know. Trying to be happy. Is that from B? I wasn’t happy when he was here, but I was better. And then his silence.

What I wouldn’t give for a bout of silence. If anything, shouldn’t this be the most humiliating thing in existence? The fact that I still talk to myself. Imaginary friends. Pretending? At least with Braxton, I could pretend. But even saying V’s name these days. And that’s if I’m not busy moaning… It’s more like I let the girls I watch moan in one way or another. But I’m trying, Inspector. Every day, it gets a little bit “harder.” Really! Considering I’m time traveling now, Monday, August 14, 2023. It’s been 17 days for now. That’s all the bellyaching. Or rather, belly scraping, you’ll hear from me. Not even edging. But there is plenty to be upset about since we’re talking now. The Day Job?

Can I listen to the instructions at work? Don’t be STUPID. I’m not a visual guy there. But all about the visual lady’s Yabbos, but she’s gone. At least she told me she was leaving for a time. God knows I wish I could leave forever. Take from that what you will, Echo, I know. And speaking of which, the things I’ve been saying or, more to the fact, what I’ve been writing about. Will you please understand, Inspector? My mind is about three things. There’s my boys —namely Braxton. There’s making bucks. And, of course, anything to do with making babies. Oh! These three things are like a mixed drink that “messes” me up. 99 Problems. Virgil, me, B’s ghost. Virgil, We’ll Be Listening

927 Days Without B III, Day 368 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 043 ~Gotcha V, B’s Joking~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Gotcha Day… I wonder if V knows? And I’m sure a trip to the groomer was not in his plans today. I’m sure there are better ways to celebrate. Yeah, out of the frying pan and into the fire. It won’t be so bad. I’m not so bad. Gotcha V, B’s Joking

Sunday, August 13, 2023

Tale 043 ~Gotcha V, B’s Joking~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And then you wake up and see it was all a joke. Hate laughing, smiling, funny face.

For several reasons, but today is not about you… Or is it? First things first, today is Gotcha Day. One year ago, you chose to spend your life… well, his life spent with you. Archie. His name is Virgil Vivi Bradford now. He’s two years old, but again, one of those years was spent with you. If he could have made the choice… Life, um, existence can be one big joke sometimes. Often. And you don’t even have that Jim Kelly, AKA Williams, idea of defeat. “I’ll be too busy looking good.” No. You looked in the mirror this morning. Virgil, this is your… the hell if I know. But a year ago, you told yourself a joke, you know. “That’s Braxton!” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pawprints on the Heart: Healing From
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 016 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! Braxton should have made the list. Then, you would have three out of six. Yesterday, I got four out of four regarding pornographic passions. Right? God knows I wasn’t writing. I worried, so… Konbini Shoujo Z, Alison Angel, “Maxine ASMR Let Me Draw You…” Yesterday was a joke to existence. And it’s enough to make you laugh, as if you might change things. You know. Listen to Michael Jackson’s “Man In The Mirror.” Change? Joking yet again. And it doesn’t seem right. No, not today. Like ever being happy, picturing this time last year, well? Aren’t you glad I made Virgil Vivi a folder? Seeing a file that isn’t all about Yabbos occasionally is nice. Memories for Gotcha Day. A few. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (A book behind?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The last day you were a father… a daddy was Sunday, January 31, 2021, at approximately 3:46 PM. And on Saturday, August 13, 2022, you thought… “Braxton, I found him!” Reincarnation, 2:05 PM. You thought you were finding that “it’s not quite paradise. But it sure feels like home.” That’s how things were with Braxton. Existence is a bad joke. Braxton was how I handled the heckle —now, being here with Virgil. It’s not funny. Sunday again, don’t you laugh, smile, or make a funny face? It’s only one foot in front of the other. And then what? I’m sure I’ll be finding out with E-Day coming up. Or, M Anime kicking your butt. “It’s not so bad,” Braxton thought once. Gotcha V, B’s Joking

924 Days Without B III, Day 365 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 041 ~Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending~

WillLeave a comment

I’m sure wherever Braxton is, he’s learned to read now. I would tell him stories… The ones that didn’t involve this or that. Anyway, I think about how our story ended… And if I could rewrite it? But I’m not with the GOP. Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending

Friday, August 11, 2023

Tale 041 ~Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. It’s more like I’m rushing to read all about it. Or better. Checking the fence today

That’s something I’m not looking forward to. But I wasn’t eager for B’s passing either. Lady Sophia, if you had told me the story would end with me murdering my best friend in the world… I swear I’m not learning anything from these books on grieving fur buddies. Euthanasia, AKA the “good death.” Braxton’s gone, I’m guilty. I’m not good. Hell! I’m reading the reference section from Pawprints on the Heart. I need every word. I’m so used to not finishing anything. Remember a couple of days back, I got into working on one of the novels? I paid $300 for a book I haven’t sent in. Going on four years, to be honest. If Virgil could read, Braxton says, “it is what it is.”

And that’s why we ain’t got no money. But the fence held up to the storm. Glory Hallelujah! I said that before checking because I’ve been lying here looking for a birthday gift for M Anime. Um, that soon turned into looking for a gift for myself. What was that? M Anime wants seeds for her garden. I want to see her with less clothing. Lest we forget, what else do I want, Lady Sophia? When Braxton was on his last legs. He could always count on me to bring back fries. My payday was better than I expected yesterday. Hallelujah! No, I’m not finding religion. Between this week and the next… No money for the church. What about a tip? I didn’t say that, did I? Or think it?

Lady Sophia, that’s like saying “adult entertainment” is free. I don’t have to spend money on OnlyFans. A few months back, I figured I was in trouble with The Pic Phenomenon. And this morning, I was looking up Elegant Moments Style 1404, for real. But I got “bills” to pay as an almost thirty-nine-year-old man. If it’s not the fence, it’s what my Olds will say come E-Day. I won’t pay for a man’s sausage biscuit. That’s what my father told me at church when I was young. I agree. Incredible right? Anyway, speaking of spending more money, Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 has come out. Ok, should I read it? No one will be reading about me dying soon… But, Virgil? Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending

922 Days Without B III, Day 363 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 040 ~Don’t B Broken, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

When I thought V had thrown up on the phone, I was ready to get it fixed. When B was sick, I’d have paid anything to save him. I was on the phone all night when this very blog went down. But the floor, fence, and freeloader? “Don’t B Broken, Virgil.”

Thursday, August 10, 2023

Tale 040 ~Don’t B Broken, Virgil~

921 Days Without B III, Day 362 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I haven’t had one in… 921 days and counting. “When we pretend that we’re dead…”

Only you don’t have to pretend. You were broken, Braxton. And nothing more could be done on Saturday, January 31, 2021. All the king’s horses and men and all that… I’m coming to you on Sunday, August 6, 2023. I can’t help but wonder what’s broken now. These days, I keep imagining that nothing’s wrong. But the floor, fence, and the freeloader sigh. I know B III. I need to stop calling 2V that. Did I save him, or did he save himself from being “Down with the Sickness?” Hell! I’m still broke B III. Payday today! I’m not feeling anything close to good about it. I’m looking at this existence like Han Solo looked at the Millennium Falcon. “You hear me, baby? Hold together.”

I’ve repeatedly said, “It’s my heart, and it’s broken.” Something I can blame you for, B. No! “You can put the blame on me.” I’m a broken record, but it was indifference. While trying not to hurt you, I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything at all. Okay B III? And now, in my guts… Anytime I want to say I don’t have any? TMI! I’m making myself much too sick whenever I wake up because all I can feel is worry, wantonness, and my wish. Oh, a Death wish… I want to be with you, I don’t want to wake up, and I don’t want to wait for the next thing to be broken. And there will be nothing that I can do, Braxton.

I literally hold up the fence you so loyally defended for all these years with sticks and stones. But to watch it come apart every minute, moment, and maybe even now. Yeah, it’s Sunday, and I’m sitting at the dining room table as a storm rages outside, ready to break it. Humiliations Galore are waiting on the other side. This morning, I told the Man In The Mirror that I look to all these things as a sign. Your Dad will be thirty-nine soon, and I have to do something. But whether it be my pants, all the pain, or… well, that other P TMI. I’m broken. And if I wasn’t so pathetic, I’d make it so… I couldn’t be fixed. Don’t B Broken, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 039 ~Virgil, Braxton Aged Out~

WillLeave a comment

I’m getting too old for this shit. To be living off my Olds. The kids will be on my lawn as the fence falls. When was the last time I got laid? I can’t afford to be a sugar daddy. Fur kids and Depression. But how can that be? Virgil, Braxton Aged Out

Wednesday, August 9, 2023

Tale 039 ~Virgil, Braxton Aged Out~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And other lies I don’t want to hear. Hell! The truth, too. Be positive, happy, thirty-eight.

Because thirty-nine is fast approaching. And what am I going to do with that? I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but does Ron DeSantis have a point about Shakespeare? I’m thinking Romeo + Juliet, to be honest. There’s Thirteen Reasons Why’s “Hannah Baker” and Robert Frobisher from Cloud Atlas. Three teens and a grown-ass man. What did they do? Love? Getting screwed over, literally. Must I be so vulgar? And the world’s coming down. The last few mornings, I have awoken with more tears than usual, Inspector. The thought? Can I say it already? Well, according to my critic, I can’t. EVER! I’m learning to hate reading and writing again. What I read makes me cry, and what I write makes other people. I suck!

And don’t I sound like some teenager? Braxton was fifteen, which is all grown up. Inspector that’s going by fur buddy standards. I doubt I have such resolve to stay. Inspector. Braxton fought tooth and nail to stay. Why can’t I do the same? Exhaustion… The fence is ready to give way any second. How old is it? I think I was thirty-two when Braxton and I moved here… No! I’m sorry. We were placed. Living with my Olds. Sad. While I’m speaking like an old white guy, Mr. Trump. Problems of the past are rushing into the future. To see black people fight against that tide. Montgomery Riverfront Brawl. Meanwhile, I’ve been at my Day Job for how long? If not my Dad. Braxton…

The Day Job would be another good reason not to get up again. Echo, it’s incredible that I can do that with this mattress. Yet where am I right now? Why don’t I leave today? Looking at the clock, it’s past eight, meaning Virgil needs to go outside. The fence? Inspector, I was about to say these glasses are old, but these are only from a year ago. The old ones? Yeah, the ones I had when I would look upon my son. What must I look like now to him? I’m older but no wiser. Because again, something from last year, uh, that’s V. His Gotcha Day is Sunday. So, Petsmart on Saturday? Maybe? The shame, like Braxton dying, remember? Virgil, Braxton Aged Out

920 Days Without B III, Day 361 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will