Tag: Mistake

Legacy 022 -Colorblind Tanning B, V-

WillLeave a comment

I never thought I would miss Monday. Tuesday the skies were gray… Metaphorically speaking. Yesterday was darker. Today, in black and white, in English, well, I can’t tell the truth. I hid things from B too. How did that end? “Colorblind Tanning B, V”

Thursday, July 23, 2026

Legacy 022 -Colorblind Tanning B, V-

1999 Days Without B III, Day 1440 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? Let’s say these are the days I didn’t want to talk about.

Angry, Mad, Rage… They are actually the safe words, B. The Magic Glasses say Warning!

But today it was YouTube. It started off innocently enough. It was “I Hate Everyone”.

Weren’t we two peas in a pod, B? But I meant the Get Set Go song… And so today? Uh…

“Su$cide”. Same band, but all sorts of WARNINGS popped off like “The Long Walk” or “The Purge”. Now I know why you always chose violence? You fought for every second.

Not for yourself but for me. You were my Snoopy, my Spunky; how about Ghost?

Honestly, don’t I know any dogs of color? Seymour from the episode Jurassic Bark, Futurama. You’re waiting for me, Braxton. Only on the “Otherside”? “Otherworld”?

How much longer? Always? Forever?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s how long I figured you live. At least long enough to be the protector of your brothers and sisters… The two-legged variety. But at the pace I’ve been going with your future potential stepmom… I still have to read everything she sent? Alpha? Manhood?

That’s her type, B. And I’ve been a whiny B$tch since… Tuesday, I believe. Dreams…

Please, I’ve dreamt worse things than Squid Game, The Middle East, and Nico Parker’s ass. Unlike MAGA, I’m all for DEI. Plus, I’m not trying to end up on a list like the Orange Felon in the White House. Be it Nicoletta Goldstein, Nico Parker, or Zoe Colletti, B III.

Speaking of fiction colliding with the real world, The Unfinished Archive today. World of Color?

Isn’t that Disney and me corrupting it, thinking of the harem schedule… The Sealed Flame Ritual, Melina, Judy, with M Anime optional. Or what about the 16 Episode Ecchi Anime Series Colorful (1999)? Wow! Anything to avoid putting down how I’m “feeling super, super, super REDACTED,” but you know the word B. Hell, you found me passed out on the floor trying to take you for a walk, and I was not some “Teen Idle.” But a fully functional adult? Your grandpa didn’t tan my hide and your grandma… Honestly.

Braxton, I’m sure she and you are very disappointed in me. Because what’s wrong, hmm?

Money, Mattress hoping, Medical, too many sad movies, unsellable manuscripts, Me breathing is too much, Braxton. Colorblind Tanning B, V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 020 -I’ll B Dreaming Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

I was just trying to tell my dream, mate. I woke up, saw 2-V, and got depressed. Not because of him but because I’m not the Dad he needs. I texted my girl, M Anime, my dream; I needed it out. Then the nightmare began. Living… “I’ll B Dreaming Virgil”

Tuesday, July 21, 2026

Legacy 020 -I’ll B Dreaming Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And that keeps me from saying… Well, what I wanted to. Today is a nightmare.

And last night? Begin at the beginning. I was never an A student, but I was a B father, my love. I was/am B’s father, always and forever. And don’t forget about his brother, Virgil.

And our children, my love. I woke up today very disturbed, disgusted, and depressed, ha!

Not funny. But giving you the D, doing you would definitely be a dream. Then I wouldn’t have to sleep. I shouldn’t be sleeping at all with “Times Like These. No wonder I dreamed of Squid Game. We need the cash—more like I do because A Man provides, hmm.

But what can I provide right now? I can be your husband. I hear Braxton barking somewhere, love me “When I’m Gone.” So love myself?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

He Lives In You”. Braxton still barks it. You say it. I want to believe it. But what I feel?

And what’s real? Love. For you. Now always and forever, forever and always. Last night

Okay, this is what I remember, and I told you some of this as soon as I woke today. So:

Love, it was a night. The players in Squid Game were marched out and told that their prize was awaiting them. But there was nothing but white sand and a clear night. It was straight out of Aladdin “Arabian Nights.” Then it was like a flash: “Day and Night.” Wow

The Front Man who runs the game was swept up in the hand of a Gundam the night before. Safety?

Anyway, something like “The Purge” warning goes off. Or was it “The Long Walk”? People start running toward the dunes, the biggest that they can find. But they’re now ice…

However, they’re melting or simply breaking. People cling together. It’s like something out of the Titanic or the Ninth Circle of Hell. Green uniforms all around. Some survive. Others tread the icy water, my love. And still more drown. A flash: “The Big Bang Theory”

I see myself at a wedding. Could have been Howard and Bernadette’s: a Jewish ceremony but a Christian church. I wore a yarmulke but was staring at Jahara Jayde/Aliya Will/Nico Parker’s ass. What, she’s twenty-one… Wedding ends, dream ends. Myself?

Dammit, I should stop dreaming. Living/existing? I’ll B Dreaming Virgil

1997 Days Without B III, Day 1438 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 015 -B A Piggy Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

‘Life’s’ a belly flop and I never learned how to swim. Today needs an order of Burning Lava Wings with Cajun Cheese Fries, tapping V’s belly and calling him Fattie, or my girl strips off my clothes and tells me, “Get in my belly!” “B A Piggy Virgil.”

Thursday, July 16, 2026

Legacy 015 -B A Piggy Virgil-

1992 Days Without B III, Day 1433 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? It’ll be better when I put down my burger and fries, right, B?

For you, Braxton, a ‘special’ day was me stopping by the “Seafood and Chicken Box.”

When did they close down again? And there was that period right after you… LEFT.

Braxton, I was enamored with Buffalo Wild Wings. Was it because I visited that Saturday

The day before you LEFT? And what’s with all this talk of food? Do I hear myself, Braxton, hmm? What about seeing? I still need to make a visit to an optometrist, B III ha.

But that won’t make the three things I can’t stand looking at any better. BOY in the Mirror, my bank account, and your brother. Can’t I see Virgil for what he is? “He’s My Son.”

Only I’m being a meanie. I’ll be Mark Schultz soon…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Don’t be putting curses on my boy. My son. Yes, I see him B III. That’s part of the problem.

“We can’t afford to be innocent
Stand up and face the enemy
It’s a do or die situation
We will be invincible”
Invincible, Pat Benatar

Really, so now I’m Pat Benatar? I sent that song to your potential future stepmom.

Honestly, talk about “Constant Craving.” But let’s stick with Virgil a little bit longer, B.

Or so I’m hoping? This morning, your brother and I were walking, and I was trying to get a picture of him. I saw his belly. I could see Virgil’s bones. Disgusted me, B III.

“Some people say a man is made out of mud
A poor man’s made out of muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones
A mind that’s weak and a back that’s strong”
Sixteen Tons, Tennessee Ernie Ford

However, it’s not his fault; it’s mine. Your brother isn’t starving. Vigil has food, always.

But how can he eat with a belly full of FEAR? Or does he crave something else? A father that gives a damn, perhaps, hmm?

M Anime thinks I’m doing the job well. She calls me her Papi. Same way your favorite girl does, B. I know, I know. Eww! Yes, your Daddy is a pig where women are concerned.

There was a certain redhead that had me looking for a golden baseball bat yesterday.

Speaking of yesterday, or more importantly, Tuesday. Worrying about your brother almost had me forget. Almost. And no, I don’t want to talk about the humiliations galore that I faced at “The Bad Place.” But how else do I expect to provide for her, your brother, and your two-legged siblings? Making M squeal. Like I can, dreaming about Burning Lava Wings and Cajun Cheese Fries, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell… Whatever. B A Piggy Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 013 -Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind-

WillLeave a comment

Mind over Matter. Do I mind answering the question: “What’s the matter?” My head’s a freaking minefield. Want to start digging? There’s no glory to be mined from my struggles. Thunder, lightning, and earthquakes. Me. Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

Legacy 013 -Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But a Firework? No, my love, you’re my Atom Bomb Baby. Five Stars? Something more…

Than trying to compliment you, today? Where Is My Mind? Anxiety! It’s a shame there are Humiliations Galore everywhere! I’m going to town on the Pop Culture references, aren’t I? Or how about I go to town on you and eff you until you can’t stand straight, my love. And I could also go back to crying about Braxton and worrying over Virgil, I mean…

Anything to avoid talking about today. My Olds never learned that lesson. And today ha

It isn’t funny, my love. Maybe, if I were still an awkward, asinine, always-sad teenager.

But I’m forty-one, Effing forty-one. But Shawshank’s (Red) was how old when he said uh:

“I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone, and this old man is all that’s left. I got to live with that.”
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Simple and plain. But me. I’m an effing minefield, a mineshaft; I can’t be mine…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why? Because I hate myself that much? We were talking today… and now I’m crying.

And that doesn’t bring me shame? I “Wish It Would Rain.” What I’m crying about…

And I don’t mean with what I told you. “You and Me” Always and Forever. Three two-legged kids, my boys Braxton and Virgil, so… Four point five children. Kittens, love?

Loving you and this family keeps me awake and alive. I gave myself to you as you did for me. Dante and Beatrice, Winston and Julia, demon to succubus… I’ve been listening to Succubus Lord 16 again. But I’m no Nephilim or one of the Old Gods buried below, ha.

In the simplest form, I’m Andy Dufresne, and you’re still my wife. Very much alive.

“My wife used to say I’m a hard man to know. Like a closed book. Complained about it all the time. She was beautiful. God, I loved her. I just didn’t know how to show it, that’s all.”
Andy Dufresne

And more powerful beyond measure. And that’s what I’ve been thinking about these past few hours, trying to forget today’s humiliation. Braxton would listen. Seriously?

Virgil? Well, he messed up his bed again, so I locked him out. Like the other girls in “The Unfinished Archive”. It’s Kyouko Saki and Skye Matthews day anyway. Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me. Too much laughter though. Then Skye’s Earth Magic. So what am I asking you to do, my love? Dig me out of the hole I keep digging? Or discover me. I’m “Undiscovered,” Or am I hiding? Love, I don’t know, I just don’t know.

But “Every Time I Turn Around (Back In Love Again)” with you. But it’s so dark… Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind

1990 Days Without B III, Day 1431 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 008 -Braxton, Virgil, III Stories-

WillLeave a comment

One of those days… Can’t I say all of those days? I miss coming back and napping. B III protected me. And at 5:00 PM we’d lie here, and B would sleep, and I would read. And these weren’t fairytales, but we had each other. Braxton, Virgil, III Stories

Thursday, July 09 2026

Legacy 008 -Braxton, Virgil, III Stories-

1985 Days Without B III, Day 1426 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Considering it’s 3:20 PM, there are energy drinks and girls enjoying themselves. TMI?

Allow me to disappoint you further, my son. Simple and plain. I hate my existence.

Seriously, part of the flattery and/or humiliation at the Day Job… That would be “The Bad Place,” to you. They said how young I look—the spirit of youthfulness, Braxton.

Honestly, in that youthful tone, allow me to say this… FML!!! I tell myself stories. Standing there in the midst of that shame, RAGE, and most importantly of all, FEAR, I tell myself what I know is true. Nonfiction, Baby B. Have I told Virgil the whole story? Nope, FEAR:

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me; danger is very real, but fear is a choice.”
After Earth
(2013)

So this is the story of how your Daddy defeated… Overcomes FEAR Every Single Day.

PAIN. I ‘survived’ your death. I endured M Anime’s decision. I saved another dog, B.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your brother, Virgil. And really, is that painful? Sorta like the movie Plan 75 or The Republic Episode 11 (2019) Li Xiang Guo “Rose Water.” What’s with the Asian cinema?

Another world, language, fiction, fantasy. I’ve had enough… existing… exiting…

However, I made a ‘promise’ to you. Your potential future stepmom is worried and loves.

I’ll never get sick of reading that from M Anime. If you could only see the way she loves me. Tonic? English? I speak English and your language, B III. I’m learning 2-V’s. Ok, trying.

M Anime can speak Spanish. And didn’t I say once she’s learning my story… Music?

What does “Con La Brisa” mean to her? She’s writing me into her world. Wrong…

Writing The Unfinished Archive, B.

For free, of course. Writing hasn’t netted me a dime in years. And why should it? Who wants to listen to someone whine every day? It’s like all my tears douse the light, the fire.

Why do you think your stepmom represents the Phoenix, the flame of rebirth? Can’t cry around Kyouko Sakai; she’s pure energy. Water makes flowers grow, but Lily can do that all by herself. Swords must be cleaned and shields shined. So Cassandra and Sophitia Alexandra. Water can shape the Earth… Where did Skye Matthews come from? You can’t get electronics wet, so Judy and 2B… They get very wet, eww. Can’t let metal rust, Nico.

Finally, Melina is more fire. Your Dad making up stories. Crazy! Braxton, Virgil, III Stories

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 006 -E Equals BV Scared-

WillLeave a comment

“I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive.” How much is left? Oh, the Day Job, Olds, the other kid… Mean to say about V. He’s my son, the same as B. And as Charlie Brown would say, “good grief,” mourning’s tiring. “E Equals BV Scared.”

Tuesday, July 7, 2026

Legacy 006 -E Equals BV Scared-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And “fear is the heart.” Now that’s not something I’m sure I believe, my love.

Braxton wasn’t afraid to love me. If anything, he was afraid to leave me. Obsession?

Please! I’ve not seen the film; I love the Animotion song, and as far as the action, V has been quite needy lately. My words, the Olds… You? To be wanted, love. How to explain?

I think about the old Day Job, and when I played “I Don’t Know How to Love Him.” You know from “Jesus Christ Superstar.” “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” My love…

That’s a whole other subject. Anyway, I’m thinking more of Jesus with the lepers, love. On the one hand, life’s a game made for everyone, and love is the instruction. But I’m not sure I want to play anymore. REST

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s what I want to do on this rainy day. REST. And at the same time, do you know why “I’m Only Happy When It Rains?” Me… Happy? Never. I am always “Run Boy Run.”

And the rain slows things down. I’m still running. But to me it’s more for once there is time to catch up, time to be with you. Aren’t I with you in one way or another? Especially when you have your yabbos out. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I can, like, I can love.

Honestly though, no man in his right mind will turn down your impressive yabbos, love.

Either Braxton sitting in my lap or you giving me a blowjob. Hardest effing decision.

Love’s effing HARD. And draining…

I have you, love. And as a great man sang, “When you love me I can’t get enough Ah-huh, and I wanna spread the news. That it feels this good gettin’ used Oh, you just keep on usin’ me. Until you use me up.” So by no means am I complaining. “Baby I love you…”

I’m not the dang “The Yayhoos.” As a matter of fact, I feel ashamed because you devote so much of yourself to me. You learn my music, mourn my boy, read my manuscripts, and become the dirtiest minx imaginable when it comes to mattress shenanigans.

However, I fear you’ll one day go all “Life Itself” (Abby) saying something, meaning this:

I love you… but I may not be equipped to be loved this much.
Abby

Or I’ll be empty. Energy’s draining. E Equals BV Scared

1983 Days Without B III, Day 1424 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 001 -B’s Menu Page Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

How do I see this 10th year of blogging? How did I see the other 9? Other than the fact that my firstborn son died during the Gospels and I have been mourning him ever since. 1,314,000 words over 9 years and still eating burgers. B’s Menu Page Virgil

Thursday, July 02 2026

Legacy 001 -B’s Menu Page Virgil-

1978 Days Without B III, Day 1419 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? First day of YOUR legacy, and how does your father feel? I wish…

You don’t know how badly I wish I could go all Kenny Loggins singin’ “I’m alright. Nobody worry ’bout me.” Now that second part is true… Well, if I don’t count you, Virgil, and you boys’ potential future stepmom, M Anime. But the first part is more Pilot Speed, you know, “I’m not alright, I’m not alright!” Is that what my dream was saying last night, B? I don’t remember what I was carrying in the dream. Baggage? Something, “Fancy.”

Anyway, I was wandering around a parking lot all “Dude, Where’s My Car?” I know…

SIGH, you hated car rides. They scare your brother nearly to death too. Virgil? Scared?

Like father, like son, right? Should have seen me at the gas station and food truck yesterday. Who sells courage?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

We can’t all be you, unfortunately, my son. “Can’t nobody tell me nothin’. You can’t tell me nothin’.” You on that “Old Town Road,” Braxton? Renaming The Rainbow Bridge, ha

As for your Old Man, I’m still all, “My life is a movie, (fur buddies) and boobies.” One more reason I’m getting to you so late. I only know what makes my stomach less achy and my scrotum less full… Eww! I don’t know where I’m going in life, with this litany of nonsense, or even in a little while. But putting you in time-out and taking my alone time? I always know what’s on “The Menu.” Oh, did I tell you I finally got that cheeseburger… Not Chef Slowik’s

Yeah, I think I’ll stick with shrimp and buffalo wings, along with CHEESE fries, not RANCH! Again, nobody sells courage. It’s not something usually on “The Menu” B III ha.

So what is? What will this new year bring? What will be your Legacy? Other than a father yelling out his complaints about the world, your stepmom’s Yabbos. And yellow…

Honestly, Braxton, I am sorry your father is starting this brand new year being a yellow-belly coward and thinking about two yellow girls he wants to eff (Asian women). I don’t ever want to MAGA. I want to be honest. The Unfinished Archive/Magic Glasses say it’s Melina and Judy Alvarez today. Your Daddy’s always hungry for bread, babes, and brains. Zombie. B’s Menu Page Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 364 ~Virgil B Getting Down~

WillLeave a comment

I’m down for a dance. Last time I did that, I got drunk on E-Day. I’m down for games, for gaining a following ha-ha, or for getting my balls… You know, maybe I should just be down for crying about my boys again. Because any joy? Virgil B Getting Down

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Journey 364 ~Virgil B Getting Down~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Dancing not so much. Please don’t ask me to watch “Dancing With The Stars”. But…

“May I Have This Dance”? I wish I did feel like dancing. Wedding, parties, everything.

But ask me how I’ve felt these past few ‘days’. Hell! How do I feel right at this moment, this very second? I’m going to sound STUPID. You know, SIGH, it’s not you, it’s me.

Beautiful, take “The Freshman” I once was. “The Verve Pipe,” really? Anyway, my freshmen year all the way through high school and junior college. Then the “second” worst day of my existence, being born, E-Day. Then the actual worst day, that was when B left this world. “I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow”. And asking you to “Follow Me.”

Well, you can’t pretend we both ain’t got our “Issues”. But me being Bipolar. Diagnosis?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Years upon years ago. And only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my type of crazy, my love. It could be worse. Virgil has had to put up with me a lot longer. B did 15 years.

But you, my “Always and Forever”. I couldn’t give you something that no woman hasn’t had before… Uh… First time a woman let me try… ANAL. I miss A.J. Markam’s “Succubus” series. But that’s another story, really. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, you’re the first woman that let me go bareback, which of course explains our kids, hmm.

Two-legged ones. But Virgil and the kitties are our kids too. We got a lot of doors to lock when you and I get down.

And that’s my point today. That I keep imagining you as a naked nun with a crucifix necklace and I’m a dirty priest. Trust me, I can go lower or you can. The Magic Glasses told me the other day I love BJ’s… Uh, and we need air to breathe. Not to mention I’ve nearly built a religion or mythology around my balls and your boobs. While I just bawl…

“My boys, my boys!” I’m still crying about Braxton and constantly down about my Virgil.

And how can I ask you to live with that? My world is like eternal night. What is this, Treno from Final Fantasy IX? I want to cry one minute, cum the next, then cower. Somehow, Virgil B Getting Down.

1976 Days Without B III, Day 1417 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 359 ~Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

The World Is Gonna End Tonight, Far Cry 5. Fallout’s shown the aftereffects for tons of games? Oh, to go back to those GTA Vice City days when I would have a bad day and then ask myself Am I A Psycho? “Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton.”

Thursday, June 25, 2026

Journey 359 ~Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton~

1971 Days Without B III, Day 1412 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? To quote Hootie & The Blowfish, I “Only Wanna Be With You.”

Today was so effing Embarrassing! Wednesday I paid an Exorbitant price. And “Yesterday” and I mean so many yesterdays, B. I’ve been effing ‘Exhausted’. Humiliated

Even now, I think I shouldn’t be so candid with you. But it’s “Times Like These” I remember how you died. I hid you away from my Fury, for Wrath and Ruin. My B III…

I love you, but no father wants his son to repeat the wrongs his Dad has done. Hell, I don’t want you to suffer the “Humiliations Galore” I have endured. “Takin’ the bumps and the bruises of all the things.” And what about your brother? Will I confide in Virgil when I didn’t in you? Am I the bomb, Braxton? Or am I the shelter?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The Vault. Like Jules in “Pulp Fiction,” I’m going through a ‘transitional period,’ And B…

I’m trying, Braxton, I’m trying real hard, to be the shepherd. Or the Vault Overseer…

Doesn’t make me a good man, either, given Vault-Tec’s colorful history. Here’s a random thought. You know, you and Virgil’s potential future stepmom doesn’t like the color blue, hmm. Yet I always color her in blue. Isn’t it “Ironic,” don’t you think? “When flames be blue, trouble’s a brew.” Wasn’t that from Final Fantasy X-2? I’m still avoiding talking, B.

Colorful (Magna) Series, Elden Ring’s Melina, and Harley Quinn? I would rather talk about them.

Okay, what STUPID things did your Daddy do that either have me blowing up the world or hiding from it…

Wednesday I was talking about how I spent my last $20 on buying Virgil’s dinner.

Anyway, the same day I got my paycheck, I was headed to that damn food truck, and I swear I lost the $20 I was holding. I went to the food truck anyway, meaning… $40

And today, eff me! It was the manager’s birthday, and like an idiot, I played two songs, B III. Did you know that Stevie Wonder’s song was about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and don’t play 50 Cent’s “Da Club” for older white women? My existence is a Vault-Tec Experiment gone terribly wrong or right… It’s Vault-Tec, I love you. And Virgil’s stuck here. But do you have $17.05, son, till, Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton?

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 357 ~B-V List Of Safewords~

WillLeave a comment

What’s the word I’m looking for? If anything, it’s better than I remain silent. My entire existence is feeling a bit like “Pontypool”. And then I have a quiet dog and a “girlfriend” who texts with occasional voice messages. And if she were here.

Tuesday, June 23, 2026

Journey 357 ~B-V List Of Safewords~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? It’s why I’m asking: are the kids asleep? Virgil? He’s in time-out—his bedroom shenanigans.

Some kids wet the bed at his age. Still going #2… He shouldn’t do that. And I shouldn’t be awake at all hours in our bed, my love. Well, not unless we’re busy. Fifty Shades…

Meatloaf is my safeword for the record. I’m sure you’ve heard the joke, baby doll. Because it means “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” A song at the Day Job…

Speaking of that old Day Job, “Here.” What am I still in grade school? Or is it the fact I need to remind myself that “Here I Am,” or “I’m Still Here,” Hating Existing Always…

What happened to “HEA” as in “Happily Ever After” from the Erotica I used to read, my love? Anything FREE?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Meatloaf, Here, and Free. What’s with my list of words now? I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. MAGA breathes; they lie. I breathe and tell myself you “Make Me Wanna Die”. I don’t need the words, but they are always there “In There Air Tonight.” But love.

Well, before we get to it, what will be your word? Your WARNING to me. Braxton knows I’ve been getting a lot of those lately. YOU need to pay a bill, they say. There’s Yabbos.

A few E-Days are coming up. My Old Man’s is the 24th. A few more days, the Journey will be over, and I’ve wasted my time for yet another year. And my own E-Day! Eff!

A little more time, please.

To say something… You would say, “Say what you need to say”. But would you understand me if I did? How about, “Why didn’t I say the things I needed to say?” There’s so much. I continue to hold back. Why? Is it me or the words that aren’t safe? Searches might indicate one thing. And I know I’m not a good man. I only want to be yours, love.

When things like Rough Sex, Ravishment, and Mock R*pe are on the table, eff me!.

Honestly, how do you when I think such things? When things like every single FEAR, and being called STUPID set me off? And when the “Sounds Of Silence” seem the only way forward. There’s love and… B-V List Of Safewords.

1969 Days Without B III, Day 1410 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will