Tag: Mourn

Tale 206 ~Virgil’s Gifts, B Present~

WillLeave a comment

I might have to lay off that hot sauce I decided to try. Or maybe Jack’s sold me a drugged-up cookie with their effed-up chicken tenders. I suppose it’s that time of the month, though. Eight days till Braxton passed. “Virgil’s Gifts, B Present.”

Tuesday, January 23, 2024

Tale 206 ~Virgil’s Gifts, B Present~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But now is not the time for (cue SNL joke.) Or “A Wrinkle In Time.”

My mind can be a silly, scary, or sexy place. But last night, there was nothing but a series of nightmares. I can’t even remember anything but the premise. I need your help, please, Daddy.” Braxton didn’t make an appearance. And I felt so weak, calling out for my father. I’m glad we have billions, so I no longer have to call him. What kind of man would I be at 39, calling for him because I can’t provide or handle my business? My love.

Sigh. “A Wrinkle In Time…”

Where did that come from, right? I’ve never read the book or watched the film. But with everything else in my existence, I believe it’s Braxton sending me a sign. Beyond the grave… Comfortingly… Creepy

Anyway, seeing as how we are heading into his last week three years ago… Gospel 206 ~Willing The Days Away~. Never a more fitting title for the story of my life. But aren’t we talking about “A Wrinkle In Time?” With all the holidays and presents I’ve missed back in 2023. And now? Oh, now I want gifts! Well, I’m not getting Braxton back, love. What about last year? Saga 206 ~I Don’t Know Isn’t Stupidity~. I gave some words to Cherry. It was an effort to see her Yabbos. I can’t even think of her big pillows or yours. Ha! But again, I’m getting off the subject; the movie B was sent to me after yesterday’s nightmares. There were 3 gifts in that movie, right? Comedy comes in threes.

It’s the magic number since Braxton is still alive… somewhere. He’ll always be my B III, but staying 15? This year, he would be 19. But okay, the gifts for what will be B’s memorial.

  1. The gift of my faults. I continue to blame myself for B’s death. Uh, yeah, I killed B, sigh. But what about Virgil? Have I learned anything that will save him? I don’t know.
  2. The gift of my command or Braxton’s. Either I feel stupid or crazy. Both? I was talking to Braxton’s Aunt the other day, and she got into some good “stuff.” So, listening to B. What does he want me to do? I don’t know
  3. The gift to see… maybe. Virgil’s Gifts, B Present.

1087 Days Without B III, Day 528 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 204 ~Same Ole B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Same time next year? I haven’t changed since the moment I watched my son die. I washed the hoody I would always wear… Damn, Root Beer! But B’s bed and a pair of his pillows are in the closet. And his favorite toy. He’d be 19, but the “Same Ole B, V.”

Sunday, January 21, 2024

Tale 204 ~Same Ole B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. And let’s consider the fact that you can face me as a win. That’s you being positive.

You won’t be having many more days like this. Oh, you’ll do plenty of time travelling in preparation of next week. Even now, I’ve spoken to Lady Sophia and Madam Justice. I’m speaking to you from Friday, January 19, 2024. Because yeah, Sunday sucks. Sunday hasn’t been the same since Braxton. Or any day that ends with the letter Y.

Saturday, January 20, 2024
“Every Day Is Exactly The Same,” as the song goes. I swear, yesterday, I was sitting right here. A bit later in the day, sure. There was a lie weighing on my conscience. But for now… I’ve started reading a new book. And as much as it pains me, I have admitted the lie, or I will with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 4, Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I’m gonna make a change… It’s more like I need to make a change. That is what I leave to you every Sunday. I’ll change the bedsheets before then. Or so I hope this afternoon. The changes that happen to me aren’t things I choose. Such filthy and disgusting things.

No, I don’t mean that. But for the record, the girl that broke me, “HK.” You’re a dirty old man. Hell! I could say the same thing about Braxton and his Aunt’s big boobs, remember?

Anyway, when I say filthy now… The very floor Braxton once walked has changed. Sigh.

His bed still rests in its place. Virgil has learned to avoid it. Three years without its original owner. And these same Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Epiphany, Imogen Linn?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this time… three years ago, I was still quaking in my boots with fear. Gospel 204 ~Will Looks Past Tit~. One of the last times I would talk to Dirty Diana. Dirty old man. Ridiculous! I didn’t know real fear until I was watching my firstborn son die. Hmm.

Saga 204 ~Spelling Virgil Without B~. Last year, I was no better. But that’s when you come in. It looks like I’m putting a lot of pressure on you. Uh! You’ll be the version of me that will have to talk to the murderer. After your week comes the worst day in all of existence. Think about it like Braxton changing. For better or worse? I can’t ask you to be… Same Ole B, V.

1085 Days Without B III, Day 526 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 199 ~Boy Meets B… V~

WillLeave a comment

Boy Meets World. “God Knows” I didn’t see the end of Girl Meets World. And at this rate. The Last of Us Season 2, GTA VI, or seeing one of my books out. Every day seems like a mistake, like losing or finding my boys. My dreams? “Boy Meets B… V.”

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Tale 199 ~Boy Meets B… V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… And you love me. A MISTAKE? The way I MOURN, MOUNT you, and being ME.

I didn’t dream about my son for once. But don’t worry. I’ll find a way to infuse him with this. I always do. It’s like my negativity when trying to be positive. But Braxton is love. Anyway, last night I had a dream about Boy Meets World. And yes, I watched a bit of it on Instagram. This wasn’t a “divine” intervention like Fifteen Million Merits. B III sent that, I know. I’m not letting that go. I mean, it’s years old, and oh yeah…

I’m getting off the subject again. So I dreamed of Boy Meets World and was at the Day Job. Shawn and Topanga’s wedding was getting ready to start, and I was hopelessly lost. The store grew bigger with every second.

But wait a minute… Shawn and Topanga? She married Cory. And that should have been my first clue; it was a dream. Also, the Dad from Smart Guy found me. And I still didn’t dance. I didn’t dance at B’s Aunt’s wedding either, for good reason. But not right now. So, the million-dollar question is this. What did it mean? I’m already running late today. Doing any research. It’s whatever I can pull out my… Anyway, everybody plays the fool.

We all make mistakes when it comes to something we love. So I believe. Inevitable. Pornography? Years upon years ago… When my Olds got a new computer, I wasn’t permitted to touch it. Ever! To me, it was a paperweight. Until one fine day, sigh.

As Todd from Succubus Lord would say. It’s like a child finding all the parental controls have been switched off. On that note, we’re watching our children’s screen time, correct? With what I do for a living? I don’t want them getting into that sort of stuff, legal or not, looking up things like Teen Topanga. She’s not THE Topanga. But my, I can pretend. Speaking of pretend love, Virgil is still here. I still haven’t told him I love him. And with what is coming up soon. The day that Braxton left. Virgil is not a mistake. But I should have thought it out a lot more. And then there’s me. Did you think I’d stay this way, love? Mourning? Boy Meets B… V.

1080 Days Without B III, Day 521 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 197 ~Virgil, That’s Sick B~

WillLeave a comment

It’s sick when I’m actually sick. A real excuse? So I do what? I go to the Day Job because I’m an American*. I saw The Book of Clarence because I’m a Black American. And I forget meds because I’m surrounded by zombies. Virgil, That’s Sick B

Sunday, January 14, 2024

Tale 197 ~Virgil, That’s Sick B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. And I take full responsibility for you being… well, you. I swear I went shopping yesterday. And…

As far as being positive… You are still alive. And I’m talking about people being all over the place at the drugstore and Walmart. When you’re around other zombies, it’s hard to tell that you’re dead. Or at least I was playing the role well. You are The Walking Dead.

Yet, if you still feel this way tomorrow morning… You’re doing what Braxton did… “When we pretend that we’re dead?” You know when Braxton became silent? And then you knew he was sick. But then he pretended to need sleep. Plenty. Ended up with him sleeping forever. No medication could have saved B. Or so I was told. Sigh. Financially, I could have gotten you something, though. But now, sitting here with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dog Love ― An Unbreakable Bond
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 011, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Are you as shocked as I am that you’re still hanging with number four? Seriously? The only sign that you’re getting better. Why else are some vices considered actual sicknesses? Between the ten bucks I wasted on OnlyFans… Bro, it was more that I liked breathing than some English lady’s “top shelf.” Cherry’s though? What A Heavenly Way To Die. Then there’s the fact that I fixed the computer. Okay, I changed versions, but dirty AI… And then there are reminders of all the “filing” needed in adult entertainment-wise. Ha!

That’s sick, bro. I mean, if you’re a certain kind of bro. And the two “men” I would consider my bros… Braxton’s my son. And Virgil Vivi wants to go back to bed. Who can blame him? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 4, Eric Vall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I should have added talking to someone… for real. If I had my pick, it would be B III, my son always and forever. And who better to know your predicament than your best bro?

But since you’re doing your best impression of Leonardo DiCaprio’s (Richard) “No, I Will Not Die Today!” You could go and see a doctor? There’s your congestion, burning nose, and aches and pains all around. My last few visits could have been better. Docs, Reapers…

“And though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver.” Thank you, Michael. Anyway, Thriller won’t be on your morning routine playlist. For now, that’s Fifteen Million Merits and The Book of Clarence. Is Heaven better, Braxton? Virgil’s napping. Virgil, That’s Sick B

1078 Days Without B III, Day 519 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 190 ~Tick Tock, B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Sometimes, I think B gave me his ears. One of the reasons I love headphones and earphones… damn Day Job. If I listened to the clock more, I could listen to THEM less or never again. But no, I’m listening to music, movies, the mirror. Tick Tock, B, V.

Sunday, January 7, 2024

Tale 190 ~Tick Tock, B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. So much to say after the first week of the new year. I’m glad you found time.

Well… no, considering we were supposed to be talking at 1:00 PM, not 1:47 PM. Yesterday’s steak must not have been so good. Hmm? If you’re lucky, you can find some chicken remnants. I’m sorry. You’re on this new thing about being positive. Or neutral. Let’s not say indifferent. That will bring up how Braxton died and Virgil’s treatment. Ha. That would all be my fault because this is time travel. Truth be told. You haven’t even been “born” yet per se. And you know what I really want to say about that but positive. Happy New Year! So how’s it going? How many did you get? I swear The Mill keeps bouncing around in my, well, your head. 15,000,000 Merits? And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Naughty List, Ellie Mae MacGregor
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 011 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Oh, not those, but that song that was in the episode. The “I Have A Dream” song has been driving me bonkers. And if you were lucky enough to forget in about 10 hours… congratulations, you now have an earworm. But I had a revelation, an epiphany, if you will. While I was watching the clock, I thought about this. You’ve never heard this song until 15,000,000 Merits. And 15 is your favorite number. Braxton’s age before passing. Anyway, think about the chorus, “I believe in angels, something good in everything I see.” That’s what I’m doing, and you will as well. Braxton is the angel. And you’re trying to be positive. “I have a dream…” B’s dead. You’re asleep. So dreaming, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dog Love ― An Unbreakable Bond
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 011, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell! Like finishing our conversation in under an hour? Tick Tock MotherEffer, am I right? What else can I be right about on a Saturday? Should we bring up Virgil, who also has a dream now? So, going back to The Mill and 15,000,000 Merits. Two black men are working towards a dead end, yet good things transpire. Bingham got off the bike and ended up in an apartment. Alone but flushed with merits? Hulu’s The Mill saw Joe Stevens speak to his wife and soon-to-be-born child. And he got promoted, though he threatened his job. And what about me soon to be you today? You dream The Impossible Dream. Hear the clock ticking? Towards what this week? I don’t know. Tick Tock, B, V

1071 Days Without B III, Day 512 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 183 ~Virgil, WILL B Resolute~

WillLeave a comment

“What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” Looking at all the years, I regret… No! Before 2024. What’s one more year wasted as I see those all around me getting married, making babies, and making money. Would a manuscript do that? “Virgil, WILL B Resolute”

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Tale 183 ~Virgil, WILL B Resolute~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. Last time you’ll be seeing me this year. “What a way to go, but have no fear.”

That should be the first song you listen to in the new year: Foo Fighters “DOA.” You remember, at the start of 2023, by accident, it was Crazy Town’s “Butterfly.” It doesn’t send much of a message. And this year has been anything but transformative. Discombobulation? You want to say “cluster…” But maybe you’ll hear from the critic one last time. Of course, it’s not “it” you want to hear from. It’s been almost three years without your son. Yes, you’ll take his final day off. Now that you know, the new year isn’t going to start too well. Humiliations Galore! Oh, you still have time, “This Is America.” But who are what are you? What are you doing, um, existing? With Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Wanna Scrooge?” “Christmas STUFFING,” “Santa is COMING”
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Can you leave Number Four in 2023? Keep your pants on, PLEASE! I swear that’s why you’re so late talking this morning. It’s 9:40 AM. What a way to start the day. The last day. Hmm. You know how badly you wish that was the case. On top of all the lists you must make today, New Year’s Resolutions, how that hurts your soul to look at. Sell your soul?

  1. Braxton’s Last Day, Sunday, January 31, 2021
  2. My E-Day Emergence, Existence, Extinction
  3. Day Job… Wednesday, August 24, 2011
  4. “Healed” Broke my “Abstinence” Thursday June 3, 2021
  5. Braxton’s Birthday, Sunday, February 13, 2005
  6. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident Tuesday, January 11, 2022
  7. Virgil’s “Gotcha Day” Saturday, August 13, 2022
  8. Virgil’s Birthday, Tuesday, October 20, 2020 (Not Braxton’s Reincarnation)
  9. The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023
  10. Basic Bitch, Monday, August 7, 2017

So many days. But when will you find one to complete these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Sometime This Week
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell! Where do you get off thinking you even have a soul to sell? It wouldn’t bring Braxton back from the darkness. Oh, as much as you want to return your life, ha. You’ll live to see the New Year. Talk about a curse as King Leonidas told the traitor, “May you live forever.” You want to be a writer, but then look at all these days. To be resolute; to make resolutions. It’s more your biological imperative. Live/Exist this year? Virgil, WILL B Resolute

  1. I WILL learn to love, somehow I will learn How To Save A Life
  2. I WILL publish at least one book, a bestseller
  3. I WILL make one million dollars every single year
  4. I WILL write 400 Words every day (Goal 120,000)
  5. I WILL visit a brothel somewhere and also participate
  6. I WILL see a return. First significant investment
  7. I WILL produce adult films
  8. I WILL do NaNoWriMo
  9. I WILL have a relationship or sleep with some girl once a month minimum
  10. I WILL, at last, provide for myself and any of those deemed my family
  11. I WILL spend no more than $500 on Yabbos I can’t touch (Hentai Excluded)
  12. I WILL start work on my life goals Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~
  13. I WILL be FEARLESS

1064 Days Without B III, Day 505 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 176 ~BelieVe With B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Christmas Eve, and I still believe… in Santa? Nope! But I’ll watch the NORAD Santa Tracker. It was a tradition for Braxton and I. We weren’t big on the whole Jesus thing. But we had each other. And now I’m anything but a wise man “BelieVe With B, V.”

Sunday, December 24, 2023

Tale 176 ~BelieVe With B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. After yesterday’s debacle… can’t wait until Monday. Anyway, today, I’m tryin’ real hard to be the shepherd.

Or the little drummer boy… What about a wise man? Considering Braxton was your savior, why not be the father? Joseph, not God. No Mary?

Anyway, here you are on Christmas Eve. I wish I could say that while I looked up music yesterday, it was all about Christmas. No worries. While I wasn’t in the best state of mind, you have a Christmas playlist ready to go. Ma’s Traditions, you know. Listening to Christmas music all day. I can’t say I’ve seen anything with holiday cheer. Well, short of Mary Cherry’s reaction to The Muppets Christmas Carol. Oh, what about tonight and Christmas? Music, TV, to drown out the fans… uh, it’s hard being the shepherd. Happy thoughts or like doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “His Christmas Harem,” “Snow Help Me”
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Of course, you’ll keep reading Christmas stories… of a particular variety. You know, the kind that you can’t speak out loud to Virgil. But at the very least, you were on the couch with V. A wise man must study. But I doubt most did it from bed. No, they were far too busy following the stars in the sky. And you’re looking to the stars on the internet. Right? Speaking of which. As The Killers sang, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Christmas music, remember? Hell! When you finally decide to “c’mon get happy,” you will be old enough to be a wise man. Three old men showing up with stuff to some young girl who’s a virgin… Uh yeah, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Sometime This Week
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Keep trying to be the shepherd. It’s like your happy, no, good, nah, soft thoughts. Christmas thoughts. Those gentle memories keep getting picked off by wolves at every opportunity. And again, it’s Christmas Eve. You should be better than this. And what exactly does that mean here at thirty-nine? Christmas Eve morning started with tears. There’d be no need to if you didn’t believe. Maybe not in Santa, but always and forever in Little Braxton. If Santa is still around, so is your son. That’s your job. He’s your gift. You can believe this day won’t be as horrible, and Virgil will become courageous. Yeah, he’s in Braxton’s room now. Will you shepherd him, your thoughts, anything good on this Christmas? BelieVe With B, V

1057 Days Without B III, Day 498 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 169 ~B Embarrassing Me V~

WillLeave a comment

The two most embarrassing moments of my existence happened inside hospital rooms. My birth and my son’s death. I failed both of us. And since I’m still here… Well, Humiliations Galore. But not from my son or my roommate B Embarrassing Me V.

Sunday, December 17, 2023

Tale 169 ~B Embarrassing Me V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And in case I haven’t told you enough, I… I hate you. Way to start the morning

A bit of advice. It ain’t like that. Excuse me; it isn’t like that. “That Ain’t Right! It ain’t right. It isn’t right. That s… is wrong! It’s dead wrong!” Channeling my inner Chris Rock. Do you remember The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident? I don’t think it was the sickness and the pain that got to me so much. Hell! I prayed to join B III at The Rainbow Bridge or wherever “Some Nights.” Anyway, it was having to look at myself, having to look at you, that had me rushing to a doctor. Now, that was embarrassing, right? Speaking of embarrassing doctor’s visits. Me having to lie about my health. “Is It A Crime?” What about accepting Braxton’s death? Or failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING On the Boss’s Naughty List (Erotica?)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Is it embarrassing that you’ve lost the mission so quickly? Or that you have added at least six pop culture references before getting out of bed. Well, other than to face me. To see yourself today. And what did you see? For the most part, it’s Monday. But no one can hurt you. Sunday, Hell every day! You can take solace in this. You will do the most damage by being the monster you are. The people tomorrow… I mean, “Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday” by comparison. I am “My Own Worst Enemy.” You’re learning that quickly this morning. It’s not a “Sunday In The Sky,” not for you anyway. Braxton’s lucky. What about Virgil Vivi? It’s embarrassing that you’re late taking him out. Another Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING His Christmas Harem: The Complete Series
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Okay, what about the six things that are embarrassing me right now? Count them, Will!

  1. My son is still dead, and Virgil deserves better
  2. They’re fixing the floor tomorrow, and you have no money. Your Old Man’s checking.
  3. You’ve got plenty of secrets: weapons, clothes, toys. And Virgil can’t hold his bladder.
  4. The last time the house was cleaned was for Braxton’s Aunt Carolina. Cleaning now?
  5. The Day Job sucks
  6. I offended my Ma by asking her age yesterday…

He looks at me. And I look at him. Then he looks at me, and I look at him… Humiliations Galore. Except for that single day, the Old Man visited. Braxton jumped into my arms. Hero? B Embarrassing Me V

1050 Days Without B III, Day 491 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 162 ~Virgil Learns About B’s~

WillLeave a comment

Almost everything that belonged to B. Not his name, collar, or my love… yet. Like that song from Tom Petty on repeat, “Love Is A Long Road.” And the path’s a mess. I smell mildew. A dehumidifier blows or sucks. And so much BS Virgil Learns About B’s.

Sunday, December 10, 2023

Tale 162 ~Virgil Learns About B’s~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And no, you haven’t been stung by anything. You’re looking for an excuse to cover your face.

I’d suggest a bigger phone, but it’s not like you have the money for that. And I doubt Uncle Sam is coming through a second time. Hell! You’re holding out more faith in B III; how you miss him. Is that another reason Virgil is so down? How can you tell if your fur baby… well, more like your “roommate,” is going through depression? Like landlord, like tenant. And let’s not get started down that route. Have you seen the state of the house right now? It’s like B III’s fur was holding everything together. It’s not like you clean. Only now, there’s the fence, floor, the flooding. The Old Man’s talking about the carpet. A nonstop drone of men, mistakes, money… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Christmas Stalking by Ella Goode (Erotica?)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Which are the greatest mistakes of all. To think that you can move any of them. Well, other than the pages in short Christmas stories. More reasons for you to sleep all of the time… If not forever. Should I tell you to enjoy the rest of your day? Tomorrow… I swear, it will be no better. And the next day? Existence makes no real sense. And you’re experiencing all of it: sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, Touch. Only you woke up this morning and besides the thoughts of Braxton. A sixth sense. It’s the ringing or buzzing in your ears. You were trying to figure out what was worse. The time on the clock? The mold, mildew, and musk. The alarm? Hell! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING On the Boss’s Naughty List (Erotica?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And even with a nasty energy shot in your gut, you won’t be doing anything worthwhile, and why is that? B, C, and D cups. Not that you have any here. Despite En Vogue’s thoughts. “Giving Him Something He Can Feel.” The Divinyls also had thoughts on the matter too. Music, audiobooks, sleeping… Anything to ignore the next dark thought to enter your brain today. It’s like a hive, but the bees aren’t sure what they’re doing this week. Tomorrow, you’ll be no closer to an idea yourself. The King B, rather Prince Braxton… Like you, he’ll sit someplace warm and sticky… Gross! And what about Virgil Vivi? Braxton’s scent is still around, my failure, my fear. Yours and mine b…s. Virgil Learns About B’s

1043 Days Without B III, Day 484 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 155 ~Virgil, This’ll B Humiliating~

WillLeave a comment

If Noah had seen outside the Ark, would he have said, “It should have been me?” Hmm? That’s how I felt with three men in the house and the neighbor lady. I could be dead and drowned. It wouldn’t have mattered. But 2V? “Virgil, This’ll B Humiliating.”

Sunday, December 2, 2023

Tale 155 ~Virgil, This’ll B Humiliating~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I am so “freaking” sorry. Is it for forty years (almost)? How about fifteen? 1036 Days?

I said ~Virgil, I’ll Be Downstairs~ didn’t I? Well, here I am, comin’ atcha on Saturday, December 2, 2023—Horny, horrified and humiliated. I’m focusing on the humiliation today, but Braxton, help you… well today. Humilations Galore await you, I’m sure, at the Day Job. Yep, that’s like saying you need air to breathe. Today, I couldn’t, I shouldn’t. No! It’s been a little bit since I figured I should join my son. But leave it to my Old Man, and then Bill, Bill, Bill. And let’s not forget a neighbor, ok? With that, “Take a Look at Me Now.

I swear when I had that panic attack at the Day Job. There was the Basic… Or when Braxton lay dying. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Missing Pieces…Broken Heart: A Recovery Guide…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception.
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

What are things I can’t handle for 200? Hell! $200? I was telling Lady Lunalesca about $1000 and then $580. And now my Old Man, or Bill, is discussing redoing the whole damn floor from the flood as nobody was talking to me. Do you know what that’s like? Hmm? Oh, you will? But it’s still my time being Saturday. This was my son’s home. Braxton belongs here with me. And yet, I don’t belong here. My Old Man, Bill, some guy walking through I don’t know, the neighbor, I’m sure the law at some point. I shouldn’t be alive. And that’s why I slid to the floor as soon as everyone left and cried. I’m thirty-nine and add a day. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Christmas Stalking by Ella Goode (Erotica?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Well, minus the book title, it is the same as mine. I have no idea how you’ll cope.

(Sigh) when Braxton was here… Hell! I remember sitting with him on the front step, saying, “We have to take care of each other.” I can’t say I meant it in a particular context, but then again, I killed him. And his death has been killing me ever since. And you? It’s inevitable. Humiliations Galore. Like sitting there holding my lonely soul. My son, my B III dying. And on those same steps, three men and a neighbor treated me like a ghost. Zombies were always more my speed. People who aren’t people, knowing nothing. Like I ever did. Or you ever will. Virgil, This’ll B Humiliating

1036 Days Without B III, Day 477 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will