Tag: Quiet

Meditation 009 ~Don’t B Columbus, Virgil~

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Braxton didn’t discover much of the world, but the little he did know about it, he wanted to rule. The backyard, his spot on the bed, my second best friend’s boobs. I haven’t seen much myself, to be honest. But A.I… Don’t B Columbus, Virgil

Wednesday, July 10, 2024

Meditation 009 ~Don’t B Columbus, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned, Inspector Echo, discovery can be strange like that. It’s not wrong all the time to explore, discover, compete…

And to be fearless. If only my son were here. That was a discovery I didn’t want to make. That Braxton wouldn’t live forever. And the Friday I learned, Braxton…

Forgive me, Inspector Echo. Whenever I think of something bad, I must remind myself that I have survived worse. My Little Braxton’s run to The Rainbow Bridge (a place where pets go after they pass away) is the worst thing.

Today, I was crying about something completely different. But it always returns to my B.

And then there’s Virgil. Talk about following your nose or sticking it where it doesn’t belong. But Virgil is my responsibility. And I gave up that fan I bought last year to blow in Braxton’s room and help mitigate the smell. I swear Virgil is afraid to explore the yard.

And I’m scared to discover life. Which leads me to why I was crying this morning. Do you remember Meditation 007, Allowed To Hate Your Birthday? Well, I don’t, Inspector. Anyway, I was thinking about that title today. And I’m about to reach forty. Effing FORTY, Inspector! And what do I have to show for it? Every day, I take another step forward, Inspector Echo.

More like I tiptoe when I should have already made giant leaps. What was I doing yesterday? I was a “Beast of Burden” for the Day Job. I couldn’t wait to get back here and write. But we’ll get to that. I read about fantasy girlies in Dystopian Girls 4. I played The Walking Dead and some other games. As usual, I fell asleep while trying to catch up with wrestling highlights. Roxanne, Kelani, Liv…

And yeah, I had left all the lights on, so I’m awake at two in the morning and have to shut them off. I only woke up late at 5:00 AM and stared at several girls’ “headlights” to wake up. All The Stars, so many. But that’s nothing compared to what has got me going.

I’ve gone from M Anime’s nightmare, which inspired me to write, to a 3000-word story. And now to planning an entire novel. Without an ending…

Inspector. While working on that, I discovered what Artificial Intelligence can do. Right now, it’s only to help me focus, but I’m ready to burn money and my fellow writers.

Whatever it takes for The End… Don’t B Columbus, Virgil

1256 Days Without B III, Day 697 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 006 ~B And V Count~

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What are the worst things I’ve learned? That my son was dying. I depend on my Old Man way too much. The Regal App stopped working. And oh goody, it’s morning. But I could be back in school at thirty-nine… Or training B and V. B And V Count.

Sunday, July 7, 2024

Meditation 006 ~B And V Count~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And even though you’re no longer in class… School of Hard Knocks… Math, Language, and P.E. suck.

Let’s start with Math. The subtraction of your son, Braxton. The addition of Little Virgil.

Why are you so negative this morning? Is it because you woke up late? Mathematics?

School never prioritized mental health, which explains a lot at thirty-nine. I’m sorry to tell you that you’re older than me, and I’m sorry I didn’t “join Braxton.” Another Day.

Inevitably, that thought comes up every day. As a great man once said, “Stay Alive.”

Today, you are here in your personal room 1408. Only it’s the entire world. Existence.

A total of 1253 days without your son. The only number that matters until tomorrow. And it’s not like Virgil is looking forward to that, either. One more week of not doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 6 (Series)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I can tell you why I failed number four. Well, no, actually. That sort of language would have the critic all over you. But Braxton’s Aunt thought that M Anime was a very naughty girl. Cherry said she’d read it … Anyway, you haven’t shared it with M Anime either.

There is a reason you should try not to speak this week. You have a couple of days with the Day Job. And there’s always Virgil. But whatever you say to him comes out bad.

There will still be days you need to remember his name. I couldn’t remember who won WWE Money in the Bank last night. Names, naughty writing, and you’re not making notes. You know Dollar, dollar bills, y’all. But you keep on writing. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 4, Rodzil LaBraun
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because it’s not like you’re going to git up, git out, and git something. All that Physical Education for nothing. And where was I a couple of days ago? I was slithering on the bed as I typed out a story that turned me on. These hands are about all the physicality you’re going to get. So what about today? I’ve already finished M Anime’s tale. Right? You need three hundred words that don’t count as talking to yourself. So where to put them, hmm?

For someone… Uh, like you. Your head feels so full of knowledge. And your heart? What is Braxton telling you? This morning, he barked, “Do you hear me? Do you feel me? We gon’ be alright.” B And V Count.

1253 Days Without B III, Day 694 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 002 ~B In BBWS, Virgil~

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My Braxton was barely six pounds at his passing. I never knew grief could be so big until the ocean I cried for him. My rage would show there was no more room in Hell. And desire for release… Stars, Skinny Minnie’s, some Big’Uns. “B In BBWS, Virgil.”

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

Meditation 002 ~B In BBWS, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned, Inspector, in ways that may seem RUDE, SKEEVY, and unforgivable. My greatest sin, the one that haunts me even today, I lay bare before you. Accept it, for I am burdened with guilt.

Never! On the second day of a new writing year, I cannot choose ACCEPTANCE of my darkest sin. I wouldn’t on Sunday, January 31, 2021. And as I can’t do this Sunday, June 23, 2024. This pattern of denial has become a sin unto itself.

Well, I’m sure I have Humiliations Galore. But I rather not imagine them. I want to avoid rereading what led me to create this platform in the first place. I told the “Man In The Mirror” that I didn’t want to fail in putting out “my” poetry book, GULP. Seeing as how I have a week to prepare. If I only had a week with Braxton when he got sick… If I would have known.

Inspector, do you know I was practicing “abstinence” even before I found out about B?

Yeah, let’s go with that.

When Braxton was around, I wasn’t much for women. His presence was so strong, so clinging, especially in those final days. But I wasn’t UP for watching pairs of Yabbos. I was protecting my son from one thing but overlooked his actual danger. And so I failed as a father. And as a man, saving him. The regret is overwhelming.

So, I’ve been sitting here, trying to deny myself ‘self-fulfillment.’ “Do or do not. There is no try.” But it’s a constant struggle. It feels like a fitting punishment for my sins but also a source of deep personal conflict.

I remember I went 161 days without until, well, uh…

As the song goes, “I’m rich BLANK, I’m a BLANK Big Tymer.” I’m greedy! Selfish!

Inspector Echo, I never saw myself as one who would idolize Scarface’s stance on things.

“Me, I want what’s coming to me. The world, chico, and everything in it.”
Scarface

Wanting a specific size of woman is only another symptom of that… I’m equal opportunity with girls, as you know. But I’ve been thinking a lot. Oh! I’m not writing.

I lost control of my desires when a blonde celebrity, whose name I’d rather not mention, rubbed her legs during an interview. Today, I watched an Asian woman with the nicest Yabbos I’ve seen in some time, Inspector. These encounters, with particular anime, “Fake Driving School,” along with thoughts of Cherry, have tested my self-control.

But the critic doesn’t like that. My grief is an ocean. My rage encompasses Hell. Desires? B In BBWS, Virgil

1249 Days Without B III, Day 690 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 365 ~B To L, V~

WillLeave a comment

To this day, the Roman Empire is remembered. What about anything I have written? Anything I have done. I had the better part of the week. And before that? It’s about to be eight years. Three crying for Braxton. And complaining about losing… B To L, V

Sunday, June 30, 2024

Tale 365 ~B To L, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And the last time I checked, you didn’t become a Roman overnight. Is B A Roman Numeral?

That’s a weird question to begin with. And search bars aren’t just for looking up Yabbos. But, um, you only did a little of that this morning. Being lazy, lewd, and a loser. But first…

Braxton. His absence is still deeply felt. I find myself writing his name here, at ‘The Closing of the Year,’ more times than I can count. And since this is a leap year, there’s always ‘Tomorrow.’ But you don’t want to be reminded of that, especially how I wasted all of last week. And now your week… You need Braxton more than ever. He was/is a daily necessity in existence.

Braxton, Broads, Books, and finally booking it out of bed for Virgil’s sake. And then what happens? You know what happens, sigh. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 12, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As the song goes, “I’mma give away the end. Partner, y’all about to lose.” Losing! Now, that’s a word I know far too well. But what about you? Do I have any words to inspire?

Ladies, Loot, a Little Dog?

You’re trying desperately not to lose the ladies you have. That’s why you were tempted to send M Anime your story and work on her nightmare/fantasy. You talked about A Quiet Place: Day One with Braxton’s Dear Aunt… if Braxton and my story were ending.

He should have been spared, and I should have faced whatever the afterlife offered… Was that a spoiler? In the movie, the cat got away. And… Anyway, I haven’t heard from Cherry lately. And you? You have Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 6 (Series)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And still, V needs to make the list. If it wasn’t for adding a new book to the list every week… And I am accepting defeat with #4. Since, once again, you’re about to start a new writing year. And a new month. But what comes next for you today? Do you have a plan, hmm? It’s crucial to have a plan. More than dreaming…

What can I tell you? There’s a lot. But like you were thinking with M Anime. None of it will be helpful, yet you keep lambasting this page with words. What a Loser! Stop It!

Seriously, let me try that again. Uh, STAY WOKE! And that means both politically and physically. It’s like you’ve been dreaming ever since B III. Now that is a nightmare. But I’ll appreciate your efforts.

Please keep moving forward. There’s always hope for a better tomorrow. B To L, V.

1246 Days Without B III, Day 687 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 361 ~Virgil Becomes Routine, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

I relate to Joe Stevens in “The Mill,” Bingham Madsen in Fifteen Million Merits, #000000014 from the film 2003 Share? Clarence in The Book of Clarence. Men in routines to a wife, Abi, girlfriends, a mom. I got Virgil. Virgil Becomes Routine, Braxton.

Wednesday, June 26, 2024

Tale 361 ~Virgil Becomes Routine, Braxton~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. Well, not if you’ve “joined Braxton.” That’s become my new way of saying “unalive.” Censorship sometimes, Inspector Echo…

But this morning, after I finished mourning the loss of my Braxton… Is that something that needs to be scheduled? It’s my morning routine. I lie in the darkness, Inspector. Moments later, I panic. And then I realize that my son, Braxton, is gone. And he’s not coming back to me or for me. And then I lay back down. Sometime later, I find my glasses, and finally, I’m prepared to see the world. Well, no, that’s a lie for two reasons. Fear and effing.

So after I’m done moaning in a completely different way… For legs, breasts, and thighs…

That makes me smile. Braxton thought the best came out of a box of chicken. But then, what’s next on my agenda. My boy, Virgil?

All these motivations I listen to tell me that your success is made in your routine. This week will be so easy. I thought. I would publish a poetry compilation, “GULP,” and that would be that. But if I have accomplished anything, it’s setting a routine for Virgil. Wake up and let him go outside… Sorry, I’m too busy crying. And then I remember how much of an adult I am with my Yabbos collections. And before I start writing…

There’s Virgil. Sometime in the afternoon, Virgil again. Like having a 9 to 5, Virgil is my commute. And before I fall asleep with all the lights on, Yep, you guessed it. Let V out.

And yet I ain’t his Daddy, Inspector. What am I?

I asked Braxton’s aunt once who she thought would win between androids vs. zombies? That’s a weird question, Inspector… Right?

She said androids, but here’s the thing. Neither one is alive. Just like me, Inspector. I struggle with ‘becoming Human’ and ‘Being a man ‘. Am I just going through the motions, like an android? Have I ever truly lived? Inspector, I feel like a lot of things, an android… Inspector, I could be a bot, Infected, a slave, a zombie… I could go on. How to be a man?

I keep going back to fatherhood being the epitome of manhood. A Man Provides, Echo.

And what I should have provided this week, Inspector Echo, is time enough at last…

Every afternoon, though, you’ll find me “spending my dimes, wasting my time” on my belly.

Or on my back moaning…

Routine? Not writing, filming, reviewing? Nothing! Virgil Becomes Routine, Braxton

1242 Days Without B III, Day 683 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 358 ~Virgil’s Goals Will B~

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So what’s our goal? To do our best! Nope, we got a new goal now! Our new goal…is victory! Now’s not the time for Final Fantasy X or XXX. I have a whole week to actually do something. For myself? For Braxton! For Virgil… “Virgil’s Goals Will B”

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Tale 358 ~Virgil’s Goals Will B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Remember, those who can do, and those who can’t teach. I’m sure you’re familiar with this saying. Now, let’s focus on setting some goals for you. Uh… Great, now you’re thinking about adult films featuring teachers. Eww!

(Cue Final Fantasy VIII’s The Oath) Time for some motivation…

Yes, you’re trying not to laugh. And at the same time, you’re trying not to cry. But after the initial thought of “Where’s Braxton?” And then the reminder that he’s no longer with you… Sigh. I understand Sunday will always be a tough day. Anyway, you thought of The Oath.

And aren’t I supposed to be offering you some motivation right now? Here are the facts: I’ve wasted five months of this existence, and June is nearly done. You’re approaching 40. Before you lies a solid week. You’d have even more days if I hadn’t wasted them. You only need to talk to Inspector Echo. Then, your writing schedule is clear. OH! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Attention, Shoppers by Blair Daniels
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 016* No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Here’s something else. You know why that asterisk is there… What was I doing on Friday, June 21, 2024? But I’m not owning up to it. And apparently, neither are you. And before you go crazy: Hot Juicy Teacher, Desperate BLANK Housewives, Shusaku, Isaku, BLANK Taxi, Saimin Seishidou, Piper Niven, and FDS featuring Estella Bathory and Harmony Reigns. I swear Cherry has ruined you when it comes to fuller-figured women with foreign accents. But are you calmer now? This wasn’t the motivation I was suggesting. Unless you plan on calling Johnny Sins. Remember who you’re talking to, and listen to me. If I could give you honest advice, it’d be to give up “adulting motivations.”

Good luck with that. Good luck with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 12, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So yeah, before we were interrupted by your libido, we were discussing this week’s goals. Besides the Six Impossible Things, you have a chance at number 3 this week. Finally! This isn’t one of Braxton’s novels, but it will be a chance to start them. Or will you look up an excuse? You’re not worried about the Day Job anymore. But today… it never ends. You have to text your Ma today. And tomorrow is your father’s birthday… I understand.

No wonder you’re yearning for a release. The stress can drive you mad. And Braxton’s passing? It’s a heavy burden to bear. But soldier on.

Dealing with your grief is not one of your goals, but showing signs of living? Because existence is only a temporary goal. Show Virgil you’re better. Virgil’s Goals Will B

1239 Days Without B III, Day 680 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 354 ~We’ll B FREE, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Juneteenth… First, let me explain that I’m just a black man. And no MAGA/GOP, that isn’t a sin. My sin lies in my son Braxton’s Euthanasia. I’ll never be free of my Grief. But, fear, bad dreams, my Olds, Day Job… FREEDOM! “We’ll B FREE, Virgil.”

Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Tale 354 ~We’ll B FREE, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. And I don’t mean not keeping my promise to my son Braxton. That title sounded familiar, Inspector Echo.

FREEDOM is a significant word in my life, much like HAPPINESS or HOME. Yet, these words, these concepts, seem distant and intangible. They are mere symbols devoid of real meaning. They are like a cow’s mess, scattered and meaningless… BS

Inspector, you want a word that means anything. I can give you one, meaning everything.

Braxton. Braxton Barks Bradford. Son.

I’ve told the story of B III’s name, or at least my opinion. My Ma gave Braxton his name. Uh…

My son Braxton was named after Braxton P. Hartnabrig, a character from The Jamie Foxx Show. This character was a tall, light-skinned man with a ‘classy’ attitude. However, my son Braxton, a short, beige fluff ball, shares only his name and believes he’s superior to everyone. But he lacks the class. Ha! My brave boy.

Hence, his middle name Barks.

Now, I named Virgil after the Roman poet of the same name. Primarily because he led Dante through Hell itself. That’s another sin; I dragged Virgil down here with me.

Inspector as I speak on the sins against my sons, Braxton and Virgil. It would be remiss not to talk about the third sin that has brought us here today. And that is of FREEDOM.

Today is Juneteenth, a day of liberation and freedom long denied. So what about mine? I was “freed” from sleep because of a bad dream. I make bad financial decisions.

$139.68, that’s the exact amount of a PAYCHECK. And that’s from the last ‘good’ week. This week has been worse. The next one promises to be even more challenging. PAYCHECK, HAPPINESS, HOME, FREEDOM… These are just words, empty and meaningless. Yet, I continue to write.

Because aren’t I a writer? All words have meaning. And how else do I expect to be free, I ask!

How many hours for my last measly PAYCHECK? And at the same time, barely any hours this week. And if I had any cash, I could go on vacation for most of next week, too.

Write, Edit, Publish! That is the key to freedom, but did you see me yesterday? Inspector, you can’t say that I didn’t try. What? I didn’t try to edit one of “my” books.” My pants?

Well, I kept them on. I still have $12.00 on OnlyFans, but I need $20.00 for a payout. What’s next?

FREEDOM from everything… well, FEAR! Because Grief is going nowhere. Braxton. We’ll B FREE, Virgil

1235 Days Without B III, Day 676 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 351 ~Father To B… V~

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Happy Father’s Day? Sooner or later, I’m going to have to tell my father. And here I am, nearly forty and… Well, B III is my son, furry, four legs, and all but no less my son. But what did I provide him? A box. A pendant. What about V? Father To B… V

Sunday, June 16, 2024

Tale 351 ~Father To B… V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Not “boy,” husband, or FATHER… Uh Oh! Guess what day it is? Father’s Day. Ya-Huh. Sigh. I’m sure you understand the weight of these roles, the constant juggling, and the occasional self-doubt that comes with them. But…

“You Are Not A Caveman,” that’s rule number two. Use your own words! The Daddy voice. How many times do you have to go through the Drive-thru and be called Ma’am? Seriously! And I know you’re jonesing for a Big Mac and fries. I was on DoorDash last night. But with only $40.00? Funny, Huh? That’s your budget until payday. Ok! How will you live?

How does a man live? But you are not a man… Wait a minute! Fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. Fair enough. And what does a man do, Will? A man provides for his family.

And where is your family? Where is your son… sons? Braxton is in a box. While Virgil should be one of my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 11, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, at least I read one book about a man becoming a father. And with what you’re reading now… Please don’t let the Dad be the bad guy. So, you think that now, while you quote lines from “Breaking Bad.” But you would have done anything to save your son.

Think about your father, Will. He does everything for you, even if you don’t acknowledge it. He’s just not trying to save you necessarily. But he’s keeping you alive. He’s given you the freedom to be a lazy bum with a house. Yet, you struggle with the simple act of saying Happy Father’s Day. Reflect on that for a while.

Daddy Issues? The Bible says, “Honor thy father and thy mother.” It also says to “rather fear Him that is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Uh, my Father… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Attention, Shoppers by Blair Daniels
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Your dream? Well, one in particular is to be a father. More, a daddy, and with that, to become a man. It pops up from time to time… Uh, eww! You blame Phoebe Cates’s red bikini in “Fast Times At Ridgemont High.” There’s Cherry’s lingerie and lips. Arelia the maid… Special K, who was my actual maid. M Anime, Kelly Kapowski, Kimberly Hart, Leia Organa, Topanga Lawrence, and you can go on. Eat your heart out, Christian Gray; you have a type and a dream. Yes, one of being on a beach with your wife and children to be called Daddy. But it’s so far away. Git Up, Get Out, and make these dreams a reality… You were Braxton’s Dad. Virgil? Father To B… V

1232 Days Without B III, Day 673 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 350 ~Spacing B And V~

WillLeave a comment

You can’t take the sky from me. Or there’s, “Just look up. There is no place to hide. True love doesn’t die.” I swear, the things I remember about my B, and then I space out logging in. I long to be wherever Braxton is. But here I am. Spacing B And V

Saturday, June 15, 2024

Tale 350 ~Spacing B And V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… but that’s only part of the dream, Lunalesca. There’s unconditional love. A woman, children, and dogs…

And I should stop lying. Lady Lunalesca, I want to be involved in the ‘Stuff & Thangs’ regarding women. By this, I mean activities like Cosplay, Filming, and even Brothels… I remember Dennis Hof and his dog Domino. Speaking of dogs, there’s a reason my Braxton didn’t have any siblings until after he passed. Keeping up with two, Lunalesca… Was I really going to say that Virgil is enough for me? He tries a lot.

Braxton though… Ask me where my heart is. How about what I would sell my soul for, Lu? And there’s another part of me, a dirty and “sinful” part, that I wish I could give up. It’s a part that brings me pleasure, but I don’t believe I deserve it.

But as forgetful as I’ve become lately, I’ll always remember Yabbos. In particular, Whitney Wright’s Yabbos. That’s who I was DMing this morning, anyway… Really?

Why do you think I share my feelings with you, my Little Braxton’s “Spirit,” and the Man in the Mirror? Because I feel stupid and old. I’m becoming forgetful. And I space out, Lady Lu.

Take yesterday, for example. I forgot a simple login for something I use every day, Lunalesca. It slipped my mind, and it’s not the first time. This forgetfulness is becoming a regular occurrence, and it’s worrying me. But afterward, I was able to rattle off a plethora of movies that I wanted to watch again. Before that, there was OnlyFans. Like I’ve said, I have been around. One problem though…

Yeah! I forgot that I didn’t have any money. But that didn’t stop me from remembering “Prom Night.” Not “my” prom, but the Whitney Wright film. And that’s where the last of my OnlyFans account went. Don’t forget to cancel…

It’s like my mind is the universe. Uh! Lu, I give myself way too much credit but hear me out.

Braxton, my son, was my Sun. Everything went around him. But without B III, Luna.

Now Virgil drifts between being a new sun and Mercury. He’s far from the light I need, but sometimes he keeps me warm. But Lunalesca, the black hole… Braxton’s passing is a constant source of grief that I can’t escape.

Women are from Venus, right? They’re hot and dangerous. And between me and my boys…

Earth is me. Again, I give myself too much credit. And again, I’ve been spacing out. It feels like I can’t breathe, Luna. And I’m not sure I want to. I can’t remember how sometimes.

I could continue. The black calls… Spacing B And V.

1231 Days Without B III, Day 672 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 347 ~Codes B And V~

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This is no game; this is no drill. Battle Stations! Um, Abandon Ship… from my brief stint in the Navy. I’ve cried so many tears. Sweated bullets. And let’s not talk about other bodily fluids. I’m supposed to exist in “this.” But no Codes B And V

Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Tale 347 ~Codes B And V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. Have I spent too much money… AGAIN! Last time I checked, Virgil is alive and “physically” well. Mentally?

Well, here on this Wednesday, June 5, 2024… V’s probably sitting on the stairs, too scared to come down. So was Braxton on that Sunday, January 31, 2021. Even if he had wanted to, which he didn’t. My son was way too sick. Dying actually. A red alert, dear Echo.

Fears like losing another fur buddy have me like Tris from Divergent. Fear keeps me up longer than any energy drink. And when Braxton was here, I could face it head-on. I found courage for my son because of my son. Someone asked, If you wanted to share your soulmate pet’s life story and you only had six words, what would they be?” My answer:

“You and me, against the world.” A father and son.

“Fear doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up.” Divergent

Should it worry me that I’ve written two full-blown novels for Braxton? And I’m doing nothing with them, Inspector? But six little words on the fly fit me and B III easily. Shame on me.

What about the fact that 2V has been here for 669 days? And he and I still haven’t bonded. That’s a cause for a red alert if I’ve ever heard one. General Quarters, Battle Stations!

Virgil and I are pretty decent. I should save that for my Old Man. Did I call him yet? Hmm.

There’s the alarm for when I go to the Day Job. Humiliations Galore! Inspector Echo.

Whenever the next “tragedy” strikes. As in Virgil making a mess. To the fence falling. What about DISH Network, Inspector?

I swear! I will stop talking about that because what was I watching anyway? Inspector, what have I been watching for the past few minutes? It should be a red flag or alert that I’m always angry, afraid, and amorous at any given point and time. And as far as being “amorous…” A safe word? I need some code words. Or I should stop talking because I’m the only one ever in trouble. Critical writing, Inspector. The sounds of silence.

Only when I’m in the duvet, dead, or being disgusting. And when I’m disgusting Echo. Now that’s an alert I can do without when I’m about to… well, Inspector… Eww!

Deciding how to exist was easier once. But Red Alert… no Codes B And V

1228 Days Without B III, Day 669 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will