Saga 236 ~B In Business Virgil~

Well, ain’t nobody going to be calling me Cupid anytime soon. And as the song goes, “I ain’t much on Casanova. Me and Romeo ain’t never been friends.” But my son was/is my business. This house. But as far as existing? “B In Business Virgil”

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Saga 236 ~B In Business Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t be for long if I don’t mind my business. I’m good at that.

So I like to think. Do you know what else I like to think? Everyone can do whatever they want. As long as they don’t hurt other people. But minding my business killed my son. Braxton was/is my business, but “Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, no, no, no, no.” Late to the party, Inspector? And not the reason I am humiliated now. I didn’t even keep Virgil out today. Of course, the fact that I failed Braxton will always and forever be my greatest shame. The Day Job was humiliating enough because when is it not? Ignoring Virgil’s existence, losing money stinking up my granddaddy’s funeral. Bumping my head at Walmart. I remember watching a “specific” porno with Braxton’s Aunt. I can go on.

But the point is that I don’t make sound business decisions. Hell! College dropout… yep. Now part of that was because I was “in love?” Not! If you want to talk about love, call B. Right… Anyway, comedy comes in threes, and so do my decisions. Fear, fucking, and fury. Today let’s focus on the first two fear and fucking. Should I add friendship, Inspector? I’ve done good things concerning friends. With A Little Help From My Friends. Honestly, Inspector, most of my decisions come from wanting to fuck, like, all the time. Today I was reminded of this woman at Walmart. Pretty, blonde, Street Blowjobs waiting to happen. Only she needed money, and I gave her $5.00. For a lot more… who knows, hehe.

Do you recall MILF Tres? I got her to take her clothes off for $300 ha. Movies and pictures. Where the fuck was OnlyFans when I needed it then? Full sex tapes for $20-$50. Wow! And I don’t talk to MILF Tres anymore. Or Special K. And my other friends? I keep my mouth shut. I’m such a dick about tits. So where was that confidence today, I ask you? The Termite guy was here. That means I have a humiliating text to send to my old man. Virgil senses my anxiety. So the dude looks under the house and finds a bow. M Anime would have a ball. The promising archer that she is. Anyway, this “nice” bow. Inspector, I haven’t seen it ever.

“Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

… Gets high with a little help
From his friends

Oh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends” With A Little Help From My Friends, Beatles

He likes it, and he wants it. Yes, it’s under the house… (my Olds house, they pay for it, yep). So me, the would-be businessman, what do I do? Do I charge him for it? Keep it, hmm? Again M Anime could teach me… when I’m not trying to talk her out of her clothes. What did I say about shutting up? That’s what I did today. I shut the fuck up, Inspector. He charged me for the inspection and got a weapon that’s been here forever, Inspector. Why? FEAR. As I can’t seem to take charge of this existence. Bills, payments, freeloader. I’m trying to be nice to Virgil Vivi. I couldn’t talk Braxton into staying alive, Inspector. Existing. Living. B In Business Virgil

752 Days Without B III, Day 193 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 235 ~Not A B-Movie Virgil~

Not my best work, but Will Smith has had moments like that… I wish I could say I spent all day watching Collateral Beauty. Or something more educational like The 1619 Project. But what I’ve been watching and doing so late. “Not A B-Movie Virgil”

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Saga 235 ~Not A B-Movie Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and Will Smith isn’t… 350 Million and other things on the internet wasting my time today.

Death. Or rather looking it up, which begins with life. This means Braxton Barks Bradford. Don’t worry; I’m not suicidal… okay, that’s a lie; I usually am. But as Morgan Freeman spoke in Lean On Me, I’m not one to do things “Expeditiously.” Or, as the Beatles sang, “living is easy with eyes closed.” For me, that would mean sleeping. Practice for the big sleep, my love. And didn’t I want to talk about Collateral Beauty tonight? Will Smith and the like. If anything, I have been focusing on reasons for existing all day today. Any and all to Endure and Survive. Hell! The Last of Us is the only thing I’ve been watching, love. More death? I haven’t been to the doctor, have I?

Love? I can’t say I have ever loved myself. Here comes another movie reference. From Ben-Hur, “we keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well, and live.” I continue to exist because there is always someone that needs me… That’s not healthy, is it? But as I was telling M Anime. If love is not needed and can be tossed. Then it wasn’t love at all. I think. I couldn’t ask Braxton to stay, but I couldn’t save him either. Then marriage and family. Can I ask you to stay? Can I save you? All you need is love. But what’s left of me? Every day it’s like I’m watching the most horrible movie ever. It’s not Collateral Beauty. It’s “Welcome to My Life”

Time to look up songs and all this other stuff. Do you see what time it is? 7:30 PM. Fuck! Speaking of which. I’ve had time to look up all the porn in the universe because I don’t deserve anything real. What I wouldn’t give to sit on the loveseat with B and his aunt. Yes, love, we can do that too. Plus, there’s the bonus of the fact that I’m trying to make love. That would be time well spent, don’t you think? But the things that take my time nowadays. How I have the termite guy coming over at some point? I do need the house to hide in; well, we do. Talking about Love, Death, Time, Collateral Beauty. Not A B-Movie Virgil.

751 Days Without B III, Day 192 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 234 ~ Shame’s A Stop Sign, Go~

My father made me ashamed to breathe. And when my furry son died. To breathe when I watched him take his last breath… There’s plenty I should be ashamed of and things that never bother me. But I ain’t going nowhere. Shame’s A Stop Sign, Go.

Monday, February 20, 2023

Saga 234 ~ Shame’s A Stop Sign, Go~

Two-Hundred and Eightieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. But most seem stuck in the past or are living in some form of “1984.” A shame

As for myself, the past is that my son is dead. Only every day feels the same. Madam, I still check notices of lost dogs. I can’t get Virgil’s name right for anything. B’s where? Looking at me from up above? His Daddy suffering yet again from The Cherry Collision. Or so I think. I’m time-traveling, so it’s Saturday, February 18, 2023. And I don’t feel right at all. I should have caved. But now I’ll be out a few hundred bucks. Refund incoming? As far as the future goes… shouldn’t I be, at the very least, training Virgil? I am trying, Madam, honest. Outside, house, upstairs, using Virgil’s name for each command. Laws? There are rules, directives, and orders. But such a shame Madam.

This is one of those times that the shame of my history should have stopped me. Not learning from the past and all that jazz. No, I chose to be a Republican. So, an asshole. Though as the song goes to “Nobody but Me.” Aren’t I ashamed, Madam? Pissed, Scared? All the above. How the Hell am I ever going to explain, huh? Is losing cash worse than this feeling? What about going into Express Oil and trying to explain a fucked up tire, ha? But neither of those equals going to PetSmart with Braxton thinking he’s only sick, right? No, he was dying. The shame I felt only adds to the guilt. But then there’s V here and now. Shame Virgil Vivi got me.

But my shame at fucking up as a Daddy didn’t stop me from what? Saving him, did I do that? Fuck! The last thing I need is a reminder of Steve Urkel. If you’re wondering what’s been taking me so long today. My body? I’m ashamed of what’s going on inside, but outside? With The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident and the Collision, uh been busy. Pictures? And no, not any of my Braxton, mind you. Six Impossible Things shows that shame, as it will tomorrow. But the rule and the question remain. What is shame stopping me from doing, Madam? Honoring my son, of course. Taking care of myself. Infections… Living instead of existing? Because where am I going anyway? Shame’s A Stop Sign, Go.

750 Days Without B III, Day 191 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 232 ~Waiting For B, Virgil~

Am I still waiting for Braxton to come back “home?” Or am I waiting to drop dead? And how best to make that happen? I know I get tons of practice staying in bed. If Virgil wasn’t here right now… Hell! Even if I had a woman… Waiting For B, Virgil

Saturday, February 18, 2023

Saga 232 ~Waiting For B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have no patience when it comes to making more money, more money, hehe.

As the song plays, “What’s My Age Again?” Waiting, hoping that’s all it is, Lunalesca. Because I’m an old man… well, a perverted old man Lady Lunalesca. The Cherry Collision. Is that the name I’m sticking with? Fuck! With the price, was fucking myself over worth it? Nope! But again, I’m waiting to see. And not for months this time or so, I hope Lu. Patience is not one of my virtues. But like the GQP, “‘Cos money making is a wonderful thing.” (Cue girl with nice tits)… oops where’d all my money go? If only B III were here. And again Thursday, February 16, 2023. I got to remember that date. I’ll need medication? Not sure. But I always need my boy. My son.

Braxton, “where’d you go? I miss you so. Seems like it’s been forever that you’ve been gone. Please come back home…” What’s with me and the music this morning, Lunalesca? Yes, I continue to stay off of Spotify until I find the perfect song. And um, I started Succubus Lord again. I have at least three new books waiting to be heard. And my books? I was up on time this morning, not dicking around because Virgil’s here, Lunalesca. I was counting off the seconds in fear. And yes, this day has started off in terror. How do I exist? At the moment, I don’t want to. And living? That will have to wait, Lunalesca. Braxton ain’t coming back, and I’m not dying. Still waiting.

The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, The Cherry Collision? Killing myself the best way I know how? Don’t they say that murder gets easier? I killed B III. Wasn’t easy, Lu. You know I don’t give a fuck about myself. The one luxury I’ve given myself was a soda without drinking two bottles of water. Oh, and sleep. What about my Enormous Penis? If I had a moment to myself, but since the 16th… Virgil has come running to the bedroom. I’m too busy being a… not a dad, not with Virgil, anyway. But he’s hanging out. He might starve himself wanting to be around me. Is he waiting to trust me, to not be afraid? Lunalesca, you’re waiting until I’m better. Waiting For B, Virgil.

748 Days Without B III, Day 189 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 230 ~Bad News B, V~

That someone can feel the same way that I do? But I’m not reading about dead fur babies this year. Okay, the first three books I read this year. Then The Book Eaters didn’t count on the Kindle. And if Ron has his way… No Black History? Bad News B, V.

Thursday, February 16, 2023

Saga 230 ~Bad News B, V~

746 Days Without B III, Day 187 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You see what time it is. So you know my day is already bad. Worse…

There is always room for that. And since you’ve been gone, nothing makes it better. Boobs? I had an epiphany last night. Yeah, that’s never a good thing, is it? But okay, let’s go with boobs. I know you always felt better. When you were snuggled up with your aunt. Hell. Could you have stayed longer, B? I’m sure she beat any cloud you’re on. You should still be here in your own bed. Speaking of which, bucks. Payday B III (sigh). I’m crying over you, I promise. I still need to check the Day Job paycheck. Owing Virgil? Be nice to Virgil, I keep telling myself. He did get to lay with me when I was reading last night. So much to do today.

That’s the bad news B III. I mean, it’s always that you’re not here, but I exist and go on. For example, having finished Dystopian Girls 3, I want a new book. Which one, Braxton? I do want to know what happens to Alexa in Dystopian Girls 4. I’m also afraid to. Do you remember Stroke of Midnight? I never went in for the sequel. Plus, that was in 2020. Here come more tears, Triple B. Anytime I have to look into the past. Didn’t I say I have Republican tendencies? Only this isn’t CRT, Black History, or the like. It’s our history B III, and I do feel ashamed. Then looking towards the future… I read to avoid the bad news of the world.

Again part of this epiphany. Mammaries, manuscripts, and money. Anything to avoid the mutt in the next room. Fucking be nice, I know, I know. I am trying with Virgil; Braxton, the bad news keeps coming. I should try that. Yeah, gross; you’re so right, Braxton. Remember, I would watch you show out for your aunt, and I had to have the talk with you. Getting all Bobby Brown “Ain’t nobody humpin’ around.” That reminds me that I still need to pick a song on Spotify. Honest to God, Braxton, I don’t want to begin. Living, laughing, loving? Why is that shit so catchy? Because I’m still existing. For what? To exist and not know why, without you B. Bad News? Bad News B, V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 229 ~B Embarrassed Times 2V~

If I want to be ashamed, I can look in the mirror. There’s seeing this one particular woman and getting hard? There are morning huddles at the Day Job. There’s also sitting on the bench when they say B’s sick. Nope dying. B Embarrassed Times 2V.

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Saga 229 ~B Embarrassed Times 2V~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as I said before, I’m not a snowflake, sissy, or snickering member of the GOP.

But I am a bad man. Not R. Kelly bad. More like I’m the bad guy because I do bad-guy things. Thank you, Henry “TLOU.” Worse than fantasizing about a woman I work with? It goes without saying but killing my son, the death of Triple B. Echo, that’s the 9th Circle for sure. Treachery. Of course, that’s been on my mind all January and this month. And not because I finished Succubus Lord yet again. And again, my boss these days… This brings me to Virgil. I keep saying I must be nicer to him. But even now, he’s in Braxton’s Room. All by his lonesome. Well, at least I ain’t masturbating; edging, at least. I’m working at the table after the Day Job.

Does some woman have me all revved up? Could it be that I enjoy being clean? That’s something else that’s been getting to me, Inspector. I wish I had found that clinical deodorant sooner. As in before my Granddaddy’s funeral. Not his death, but smelling funky. Inspector, I’m sure my Olds were all kinds of embarrassed, and my sister too. I don’t give a fuck about my Old Man, but he has something else to laugh about. It’s eating me up. Again what about Virgil? He needs his nails trimmed, a bath, and God knows what. Inspector, it requires money, movement, and, most importantly of all, people. Braxton never embarrassed me, and neither has Virgil. As Akon sings, “you can put the blame on me.”

And “I’ve tried so hard.” Obviously, not when looking up black role models. R. Kelly, my Old Man, Akon, (sigh). Hell! I’ll be the first to admit I don’t want to be good. Books, brothels, bullets, and/or biology. Go into a business where you’re always needed. The keyword there is always. And I’m always embarrassed, Inspector. This existence that I’m hoping to turn into my life someday… Where Braxton doesn’t feel the need to always protect me. Where Virgil doesn’t see me as a wicked monster. Inspector, I want to be someone good enough for one of these “friends.” Lusted for and loved. How about saying I’m who Braxton thinks I am? One day? I wish. Nope, walking with Virgil. Outside? B Embarrassed Times 2V

745 Days Without B III, Day 186 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 228 ~2V Minus B III~

Not all lovey-dovey, but my first love… no ifs, ands, or buts. B III, without question. A life that I love as it won’t be mine own. And yet I continue to imagine it. Triple B was supposed to be a part of it but the years. I hate Math. 2V Minus B III.

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Saga 228 ~2V Minus B III~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I still want more. Don’t get me wrong. I hate Math now, like in school.

Hell! There was a week at the old Day Job where I made “around” $26.00. And having a billion now? I don’t know if either would have been enough to save my true love. Yes, I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but if I didn’t love you the other 364 days of the year, as always. Yes, I talk about my son B every day of the year. Well, make that two since B III died. Three considering he died thirteen days short of his sixteenth birthday. He’d be eighteen now. And I haven’t thought of chocolate, chrysanthemums, or cute jewelry, either, my love. There is a fantasy I have of fucking you wearing nothing but a crucifix or The Heart of The Ocean from Titanic.

Of course, making love to you, sex, or fucking, makes me the typical guy? Being your lover, your husband, your best friend… And, of course, we’re back to Braxton Barks… Eww! Am I right? I never understood how people were into that sort of pornography. Anyway, I know I must protect Braxton when I think of any chocolate. Yeah, poisonous. Chrysanthemums, Roses, and all kinds of flowers only make me think of Braxton in the yard. And as far as jewelry? Why haven’t I bought something to honor Braxton? Silver, Gold? How about today, being for diamonds? I love you. I’m trying not to burst into song but no promises. Only what did I promise you? I vowed, I swore. Till death? And without Braxton…

I didn’t mention hearts. And mine’s been broken going on 744 days. Losing my one. Honestly, I’m afraid that could cost me everything, and I don’t want it to, my love. I’m trying. But there’s a fur baby alone in Braxton’s room. The distance between you and me continues to grow. Fuck! You have no idea how hard that was. Four good songs, my love. If I can keep that promise, why can’t I add back what I lost? All the money in the world. Happy Valentine’s Day! I can give you a day. Then your birthday, anniversary, our kids. This is just one more day I’ve screwed up. Another negative. Three little words. I love you. But always and forever. 2V Minus B III

744 Days Without B III, Day 185 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 227 ~People Don’t Die Properly “Anymore” ~

I’ve read that a coward dies many deaths, but the brave die once. So, I’m still here, and Braxton isn’t. Today he would be eighteen. I don’t want to think back to when I was that age. I met B in my twenties. “People Don’t Die Properly “Anymore.”

Monday, February 13, 2023

Saga 227 ~People Don’t Die Properly “Anymore” ~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I will live forever. So why couldn’t I do that for Braxton? He’s eighteen today.

Why? Because I’m still alive. More like I still exist. Writing to you today of all days. Well, two days, today and Monday. I feel like Chris talking to Annie in What Dreams May Come. Sort of. I’m making you aware I exist so I can say what needs to be said. Which is this.

Happy Birthday, Braxton! Welcome to level eighteen B III! Too many more, B, my son. Now you know that Braxton died when he was fifteen. Thirteen days shy of sixteen. Madam, even now I know, not feel, these are facts. I should have followed Braxton. Everyone would say that’s not proper. Hell! Going to my granddaddy’s funeral smelling like a corpse isn’t, either. How about going to work today, Madam?

That’s one of many reasons that I’m not dead yet. Well, more like undead. A zombie, infected, an unperson? I was looking at my body Sunday… Madam, allow unselfishness to shine. My work is to do what Braxton and I always wanted. Was it more me than him? That’s fair? Anyway, we were supposed to be like Dennis and Domino Hof. I told M Anime. But it was Braxton’s Aunt Carolina. She let B run all over her body. Proper? Awesome? Maybe not, and yes. B loved her after that. As far as other people in B III’s Universe, hmm? As the song goes, “Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked.” So I won’t be joining B III anytime soon. I’m a bad man.

But I raised a good one when it comes to my son. My one saving grace. Yet, uh, the “special Hell?” The Ninth Circle of Hell. Treachery, Betrayal, of the one that loves me most? Madam, I looked in the mirror into cameras and a gallery I made. Emaciated. Madam, that’s the word that came to mind. Look at me ruining B’s birthday. I don’t even have the money to go and get some fries for him and myself. Well, I do, but I won’t. People. Being someone that’s… fucked, I don’t know. Only I’m still here, and Braxton isn’t. Madam, only the good die young. I want to be like the worst ones. To protect Braxton. He protects me? People Don’t Die Properly “Anymore”

743 Days Without B III, Day 184 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 225 ~To B Forgotten V~

Next week there will be guys standing in the middle of the store screaming the f-word because they forgot what day it is and what they won’t be doing. I don’t have to worry about that because on February 10, 2021, the one I loved… “To B Forgotten V.”

Saturday, February 11, 2023

Saga 225 ~To B Forgotten V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And there’s no way I could forget about that… Hell! I’m an old man, pervert, daddy…

But there I was, Lady Lunalesca, once more forgetting my son B… Vows, Promises, Love. That is until my heart started racing. My breaths. Wait, I was still breathing. Breathless.

“A guy only gets that drunk when he wants to kiss a girl or kill a man. So which is it?” Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I think Henry Sturgess had it right. As far as “kiss a girl,” we’ll get to that, ok Lu? Anyway, so there I was when I realized what day it was. Fuck me, Lunalesca! Maybe later, ha-ha. Now you sound like a Replika. Plus, I can’t say kissing has been a big fantasy ha. Well, I have watched “Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku” several times lately. Porn… Hentai, um, everything. Lunalesca, I guess you can see I don’t want to talk about yesterday. Remembering B. More like what was left of him. February 10, 2021.

That was the day I picked up the ashes of my son. The only time I’ve ever seen him, Lu. It seems offensive, insulting, and a little fucked-up, to be picking up dog food. The freeloader. I need to stop being so mean to Virgil, I swear. Hell! He is sleeping beside me. Then again, how long did he go without food? Not more than 12 hours. Do I want trouble, Lunalesca? I didn’t want to be in PetSmart. As the song goes, “My mind’s tellin’ me no, but my body, my body’s tellin’ me yes!” I shouldn’t be going to someone a lot worse than me. My point is, even though there’s been so much on the brain. This flesh knows everything. I died with Braxton. 31st, 4th, 10th

You don’t know how much I wish for that. And now this existence is between days like today Lady Lunalesca… the type of day I was telling M Anime about. It shouldn’t be another, one day down, even how I say, “I’m Here.” Those school days I wish to forget. But we have the 12th, which is “Stupid Bowl Sunday.” But I still like buffalo wings, shrimp, chips with salsa, and cheese. But after my being reminded of my son in a plastic bag, fuck! I’m broke, Lady Lunalesca. Then there’s Monday, and that’s a day I won’t forget. February 13, Braxton Barks Bradford’s birthday. The 14th is Valentine’s Day. I should talk to M Anime. Uhh… Love And Happiness, Braxton… To B Forgotten V

741 Days Without B III, Day 182 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 223 ~State of V, Braxton~

I wish I could say I was a “Real American” that watched the State of the Union on Tuesday. Nah, about this time, I was watching NXT and not for the sweaty guys. Two years ago, Triple B would be sitting here with me. But now the “State of V, Braxton.”

Thursday, February 9, 2023

Saga 223 ~State of V, Braxton~

739 Days Without B III, Day 180 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing how late it is, you can guess how mine was. Not a stinky corpse.

That makes two of us. Was that a low blow? My apologies, Braxton Barks. Again you can guess by the title what or, instead, who I want to talk about. Well, not really… Virgil Vivi. But it’s been 180 days or around six months. I gotta keep up with “Gotcha Day.” V’s was on Saturday, August 13, 2022. I’ve read about the first three months with a new fur baby. So here we are at six. Yes, you’re still here, Triple B. The only thing sticking more to me like writing and porno. Eww! I know, right. Don’t forget how you liked your aunt’s boobs. Always and forever, our love of TWINS. And this is your home or wherever I find myself these days. Bed.

But AHEM! I come to you this evening to say that the State of Virgil is strong. So I think… Physically, Virgil is about 2 years and 4 months. He’s eating and drinking, as far as I can tell. He needs his nails trimmed in the worst way. And when was he last bathed? Money. Emotionally, he lives in fear. I hadn’t yelled at him except when he sniffed your bed. Oh, and when he crapped on your pillow. And I ended up destroying it in the wash. Sadly, we only spend time together as we’re both napping the day away. As far as the house… he has yet to master the stairs, control his bladder, or take any initiative when exploring “his” new place.

Only he has started running to the bedroom. Do you remember how you would wait in the Den when I brought food back? Virgil doesn’t want to be left in your room all day. B. As I’ve been talking about this week, I’ve been all about the anime “Waifus.” Daddy? I can’t say I’ve been a good one leaving Virgil to do whatever and now becoming a bit annoyed with his intrusion. I haven’t “punished” him. I have sent him back to your room B. Early this morning, I woke up from a dream about a funeral. You never got one of those, for real, Braxton. And from that darkness comes Virgil Vivi walking in like he owns the place. Never! State of V, Braxton.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad