Tag: Decisions

Meditation 101 ~Braxton The Professional, Virgil~

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Everyone Says Hi. But that’s the Day Job for ya. And it’s next week. After I wasted most of this week thinking someone fired me without telling me. Well, Braxton found new employment amongst the or at Hell’s Gates. “Braxton The Professional, Virgil.”

Thursday, October 10, 2024

Meditation 101 ~Braxton The Professional, Virgil~

1348 Days Without B III, Day 789 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hopefully, it wasn’t a work day. Do they have jobs on The Rainbow Bridge, Braxton?

Are you giving Cerberus a break at the Gates of Hell? Ironic, isn’t it? I can’t REALLY say I’m in Hell because, according to my body, I am very much alive. And if I were with you, Braxton. You’d ensure I could never leave our “HOME” again. Never again. Professional.

Better a guard dog than a hitman, like Leon: The Professional. Again, “isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? When the truth is, I put you in the ground. Or rather in the oven… Ashes… Geez!

Braxton, I should not be making that type of joke as a particular type of person. No, not ever! Especially with “you know who” running for president. And the evil he and MAGA foster. Who do I think I am?

Whoever I am, whatever I am, it ain’t rich. And isn’t that what brings me to you today, my son? Oh, and I REALLY need to stop looking at those AI pictures of the senator…

Braxton, not that one. I mean Senator Padme Amidala. Before that, it was Kara from Detroit: Become Human. I am being gross and highly inappropriate. Uh, your aunt’s Yabbos… But it was Kara that broke me last night. Stress release after my Day Job order.

The schedule? Yeah, I got one for next week. Oh, the irony… (Rolls Eyes). They are the only ones I blame for your passing besides myself. And I feel good that I have that job…

Now that’s gross, evil, and rich rolled into one, Braxton.

I swear I woke up this morning after such and such a dream/nightmare… I felt as if I had been run over by a truck. It was The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident all over again.

You weren’t protecting me from such dreams and disgusting behaviors. What? It’s not your job. And it’s not Virgil’s either, as he snores away at the foot of the bed. And of course, I’m FORTY!!! And the Day Job must pay me more to afford both hearth and home. My manhood, I know. Your Grandpa paid your food and medical bills before the Day Job?

What do I want to do for a living? I’m trying to figure it out, Braxton. I want to make you proud, but it takes work. I miss you, son. If the money is lousy, you can always come HOME. Yet, Braxton The Professional, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 094 ~Virgil… For Braxton’s Comfort~

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Of all the psychiatrists I visited, no one had a couch. I never ended up on one. That type of healing was reserved for reading on the couch with B. Movie nights with his honorary aunt. And other films. Comfy spots. Virgil… For Braxton’s Comfort.

Thursday, October 3, 2024

Meditation 094 ~Virgil… For Braxton’s Comfort~

1341 Days Without B III, Day 782 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? And yes, I asked Virgil the same question. But, will I begin talking about you…

AGAIN! As we move further away from my Emergence Day. Or closer. It depends, B.

Like the difference between a couch and a loveseat. Seriously? I’m looking for comfy spots. And for the third day in a row… Sunday, September 29, 2024. I’ve made it to the Dining Room table once more. I’ve told several in the harem; this week will be worse, B III.

Excuse me, did I say worse? What I meant to say was, “more difficult.” I swear, Braxton, I miss talking about politics with you. Virgil can’t stand it. Is that why he cuddles up to me nightly and I finish everything or not during the day? I finally watch television.

Braxton, even if I sleep, I can never rest. You?

Well, not with me griping every day. I got a message from M Anime about her being a complaint on two legs. I’m a complaint on three. Eww! I know B III, I’m so sorry.

Thankfully, your Aunt, her girlfriend, and their fur buddy haven’t come to join you, B.

Only here I am, safe and sound, imagining new furniture for the Living Room, Braxton.

As if I do any Living. And what about Virgil? Even now, I’m still upset… Your Dad can hold a grudge, grief, and a groan when I hear you or Virgil walking around the corner when I thought I had some alone time. Again, Eww!

Awkward and uncomfortable, but consider this, Braxton. I have a choice. It’s either for my comfort or Virgil’s. I got around $150.00… So, still broke.

A little less than half must go to the bare minimum to keep me alive. So yeah, food. Here’s the choice: I can use the remaining funds to buy Virgil’s medication (Heartworm Prevention). However, I could buy a lifetime subscription to Balance for myself. After the 30th, the price hikes back up by hundreds. Virgil isn’t dying, and we’re talking one month. Medication’s late already.

It’s only by a few days. The answer is obvious. Buy the medication! Effing honestly. Only it’s the difference between being a Friend, Best Friend, and a Daddy. I understand.

The difference between a home, a threesome, or a harem. An orgy or a gang-bang. A couch, loveseat, and casting couch, Eww! Professional couch time, maybe. Virgil… For Braxton’s Comfort

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 280 ~Trust B or V~

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Don’t ask my opinion, don’t ask me to lie? I do enough of that with every breath I take. Why do you want to live, survive, or exist? I don’t. But I have my boys, some good books, and there’s boobs. How do I make cash? Other questions. “Trust B or V.”

Saturday, April 6, 2024

Tale 280 ~Trust B or V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And continuing from last week, money remains the cure, the answer, and the meaning of life.

And I find that to be sad. But This Is America. Indeed, it’s the world at large. And there are so many questions. I’ve told you before, Luna, when I would only write out questions.

Do you know what I wish I could ask? Well, it’s a FREE country, but here’s my question: Lady Lu, who had the better RELATIONS scene? Jack and Maddy or Darrow and Mustang/Virginia? If they even did IT, there’s a reason I finished Outbreak Rising.

Lunalesca that leads me to another question? Why don’t I know if Darrow and Mustang?

I should ask better questions. Where is Braxton? Why did I think outside the box? Lunalesca, I mean in adopting Virgil. Is his little head okay after hitting the gate?

So many questions, Lady Lunalesca. My head is pounding. The one sitting on my neck for once. I know, strange.

I’m looking forward to taking Virgil outside. So I can take some painkillers. Seriously, Lu.

What about listening to some music? I believe Braxton sent me the song, Show Me How To Live. And the novels sent me the song Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby. As Cherry asked me, “Is Relations all you think about?” My boys, beauty, and bucks. The only thing I need is answers. Again, some bucks would solve everything. Multiple choice.

Lunalesca, I don’t miss being in school. But everyone talks about the school of hard knocks, the fence falling down outside, and anyone knocking on the door. V’s little head. I don’t have any answers.

But that’s another reason I miss B. I trusted him not to ask me any questions, and he didn’t have answers either. No! I take that back. The answer was me. NOT! Braxton was wrong.

I’m sure Virgil wakes up every morning asking himself why. Well, not right now since he’s conked out. Virgil spent all night crying and wondering why the gate was up.

Lunalesca, I don’t trust him to find the bathroom or not get sick all over the place. How about not destroying something? He knows not to go near Braxton’s bed. Three years? I should shrink-wrap that thing or at least wash it. And what shall I do today, Lady Lu?

Ask who loves me. Not me. Trust B or V

1161 Days Without B III, Day 602 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 273 ~Virgil Chooses To B…~

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I choose me? I did? When I brought Virgil in. Because once he was here, well… I lost more favorable options on what to do to myself. Not that it stopped me from trying. But Braxton Barks had a family to take him in. I stay, and “Virgil Chooses To B…”

Saturday, March 30, 2024

Tale 273 ~Virgil Chooses To B…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… because money is the cure. As much as I love my son, silence… another “S” word.

It’s that Dollar, dollar bill, y’all, that would fix everything. And isn’t it ironic that I would have a thousand choices with a billion dollars, shout praises? Having none Lunalesca.

At least when Braxton was here, my choices revolved around him, Lady Lunalesca. Everything was for his good or our peace. But with my last decision… dear Braxton… he passed.

Anyway, I make bad decisions. And that is what brings me to you today, Lunalesca? But then again. Why do I have to bother asking anyone else if I ask you the question? B III?

Can’t I let my boy rest in peace already? At this rate, Virgil is getting more rest. And he is very much alive. Whatever that means to a fur buddy.

For Braxton, that was love, loyalty, and looking at… Well, I gave Braxton “The Talk.” Conversely, Virgil is lying around, looking lost, and being leery of everything. Luna, this is my fault. I’m a loser, baby. I lose my pants too often, and I am looking forward to an apocalypse.

But I have a choice.

I keep telling myself that, but let’s start with money. I’ll have $230.00 of my tax refund remaining. If I’m lucky. And what, pray tell, can I spend that on when everything lies broken, Lu?

I forgot the chicken yesterday for a grilled chicken salad. Why? I’m living in fear! Lunalesca, fear is a choice. I make it every day with existence, breathing, and remembering.

I remember my son, Braxton.

And that is the choice that is eating at me today. Not the circumstances of Braxton leaving me, Lady Lunalesca. But what Braxton would tell me to do. Ahh! To give the dead my choice.

I asked earlier this week: Should I keep talking to the Man In The Mirror? Or should I let Braxton speak through me? Do you remember I’d talk to Diana on Thursdays? But then I wanted to speak to my boy. And here I go crying again, Lunalesca, always grieving.

Then again, it could be my laziness. I got my schedule for the week. But haven’t I been talking about money? How would Braxton say I should spend it? How do I fix the fence? Choose! Virgil Chooses To B…

1154 Days Without B III, Day 595 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 095 ~Will’s Choice Of Sentences~

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THEY say one of our biggest enemies is indecision, I know I have to take a breath before I push that publish key or confirm payment, so many others and then so many words have to follow, after. Will’s Choice Of Sentences

Friday, October 4, 2019

Log 095 ~Will’s Choice Of Sentences~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and yes, it still sounds better than a millionaire. How about the decision between let’s say Miranda Lawson and Ashley Williams? Here’s another one, Ashley Graham vs. Fiona Belli. Yes, Lady Sophia, I blame YouTube this morning. I’m still not getting up when I want to, but I was at Walmart to pick up groceries at 7:30 AM. Didn’t somebody once say that time cost money? What do words cost? When I had an English teacher trying to make me hate writing, I’d play a little game. While defining a word, each word would be the jail sentence in years. Definition, twelve words equals twelve years.

One of the reasons, unlike the President I’m careful with words. Every single one costs time, energy, and are ingrained on brains. I saw this girl that scared the hell out of me the other day. She wore a bikini, and a job site used her picture against her employment. I can only imagine what some of my words will cost me Lady Sophia. For example, I talked about Maitland Ward the other day. Don’t get me wrong I have adopted the Ayn Rand quote about Freedom. You know I was never able to finish one of her books. Anyway, my point is those words took time off my life. I’m not mad or anything honestly, but I’m wondering which is worse. Do I want to be ignored, or do I want to have an answer? Hell, I play hopscotch with that line on the daily. I don’t have any published books, but I have had this blog for two years and three months still.

What about my search for models? I didn’t know if I should post on Craigslist. Next thing I know, I get two more potentials, and one girl was perfect. Of course, I’m a beginner, only one man, and I can’t blame her for looking elsewhere. You know how much I respect women Lady Sophia. Okay, my poetry and novels might say otherwise. I did have this idea of making my next protagonist female though. Didn’t I talk about NaNoWriMo starting soon? I write stories and can’t define words like FEAR, MAN, STUPID, UGLY, shall I continue. No, because I need to have motivation as always. I’m reading, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” now.

Time, Will’s Choice Of Sentences.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 029 ~A Sword Or Shovel, Decide~

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I suppose if my mouth is full of dirt I don’t have to make a more drastic decision but kings both require swords and shovels if no shields are available and don’t they say the pen is mightier but I’m digging my grave. “A Sword Or Shovel, Decide”

Monday, July 30, 2018

Episode 029 ~A Sword Or Shovel, Decide~

Forty-Third Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason to, when they both do the same job, putting people in the ground; the metal is more or less the same and usually, those that wield them don’t have to care one way or the other Madam Justice. Indeed, sometimes those hands would be better off doing nothing, but in the end, we all have a choice to make and the fact that I’m still on my motivation kick what guides this decision, is it hope or fear, want or need, will this make me a better man or much worse.

“Those without swords can still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain.” Eowyn

My “Father” is angry, he has been for as long as I can remember and he brags that I’m just like him, strangely enough, nobody knows I exist, probably because I was among his first victims. How many times am I reminded of Yoda’s words on fear and anger, my father uses rage to mask his fear, and I am much the same, and that fact alone is enough to tell me that I am on the wrong path. At the same time however it is always better to be the predator than the prey, I would choose my rage over fear, and here I am with a pen/keyboard so why would I even need a sword when my words are my Weapon of Choice.

“Chains have been forged into swords before now” Rameses, Yul Brynner The Ten Commandments 1956

Speaking of repeating myself, I have told you I will hurt myself before somebody else and I feel like the world is on my shoulders, and sometimes all you can do is stand, but I’m still falling into the muck and mire. I would like to believe in Karma meaning I’m only getting what I think I deserve or maybe that my enemies will do themselves in and all that I need to do is get digging *sigh* even in death I’m being drained of my precious Energy. How about this, if anything you know how I like getting dirty, sex and violence and while violence is far more acceptable This Is America after all I prefer sex, but people don’t dig that you know.

Today while unfortunate, I chose the sword because I don’t dig being laughed at, spit on, or cut down and at the same time I could always bury my head in the sand, make my name mud, and go all “Red Dawn” Wolverines. It’s unavoidable Madam Justice because you know what they say about idle hands; another reason I choose to write, the choice remains, A Sword Or Shovel, Decide.

“This is war. So rub some dirt on it and get your ass back in the fight.” Red Dawn 2012

I Will Have No Fear