Tale 015 ~Braxton’s Good News Virgil~

So what’s the bad news? Well, I woke up. Good news? Well, that’s always someone else. And I ain’t Red from Shawshank. A part of me does rejoice. Braxton’s not in pain anymore. Virgil sleeps on the bed. Ole girl got home. “Braxton’s Good News Virgil.”

Sunday, July 16, 2023

Tale 015 ~Braxton’s Good News Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’re not trending or going viral. You’re not even in the top percentile on OnlyFans. Relax.

Easier said than done, am I right? Oh! You’re sitting in bed, wasting another morning. Even later than usual (sigh). Not that I can blame you after yesterday. Adulting sucks! More like Math. And while you hate the idea of, (things could be worse). Well, they could be. The money’s there, only much less of it. It’s not like, well, you know. Braxton is dead. This was supposed to be good news. But B’s still dead. You have a lot less money today. Hell! Your pants were around your ankles a while ago. Feeling something beats feeling nothing? It’s like out of The Color Purple. How dare you! Isn’t that a classic, hmm? “Your black, you’re poor, you’re ugly.” And there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING – Buried Deep in our Hearts
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

When you can only ever do one. So what’s the bad news? Well, besides being a pop culture whore. “Thy tears are womanish; thy wild acts denote The unreasonable fury of a beast. Unseemly woman in a seeming man!” A bit of Romeo + Juliet for you as well (sigh). Dammit! There’s the fact you even have the audacity and knowledge to think such things. “There are thou happy?” Okay, so you’re never happy. That word need not exist here. But Virgil does. After spending all that money, I had groceries, and Virgil was living. Billionaires don’t care about others with all they have, but I have so little. And yes, you have even less. Only you continue to exist with these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “GOLDEN ECLIPSE: HEART DOG,” Howard Schultheis
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Good News! You have to be positive. And, of course, that ain’t me talking. Effing critics. You did wake up to find out they found that woman who disappeared, Carlee Russell. Again you find out that the phone is only a porno device, but you can do good for once or at least find it. Out there in the world. I don’t know how long that will last with everything. At least you aren’t buying into The Pic Phenomenon… Bill’s Visiting? Dammit, More Money! More Money! Lost! You’ll need something to make you feel better, right? Before you go to boobs, um, books? Something from the bakery. Did you forget to buy something for Braxton? Do you want some good news? Braxton’s Good News Virgil

896 Days Without B III, Day 337 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 013 ~Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs~

It’s not the worst story I ever told. No! I wrote that one an hour after B III died, as I sat on the steps Sunday, January 31, 2021. The step 2V lies on like his legs are broken. Broke, busted. Existence breaks me. Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs.

Friday, July 14, 2023

Tale 013 ~Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And though I’m not agoraphobic, I’d never leave the house again. But let’s start with downstairs.

And I can already tell you this will not be a “Happy” tale. Hell! Or a story at all since I can’t write one of those to save my existence. Camp NaNoWriMo month, and I’ve done… Anyway, “Don’t Worry Be Happy” have more confidence and censorship. Lady Sophia, why am I paying people to tell me I’m effing up everything. Critics, the Day Job, and V. Well, that’s mean against Virgil Vivi, right? I’m no friend of his at the moment. But I did mention him before B, which is a first. I need my fluids. Uh, depression doesn’t help. Crying, amongst other things… but we’ll get to that. Only what about the story, Sophia? Virgil peed on the carpet. He’s sitting on the stairs.

Sad story? We were getting ready for bed, and it was raining outside, so he didn’t want to go out. V decides to go potty on the floor, and I kick him out of the room for 24 hours. Before leaving, I moved the gate so he could walk around. He’s been staring from the stairs ever since. Sophia, you can see why I’ll never be some award-winning author, right? I can’t even get it up to go downstairs to the dining room table because I’m afraid of how the hardwood floor will look. Again everyone telling me about existence. But to fix it? Blah! I instead read sad stories about other people. I swear if Bryn doesn’t leave Julian… Buried Deep in our Hearts

Dead fur babies, divorces, and other things less than desirable. Far better than the things I’ve been looking up this AM. I swear, My Lady, I couldn’t write “decent” pornography. Soredemo Tsuma wo Aishiteru and Shiori from Rinkan Club. I am so going to Hell. Which starts with going downstairs and deciding if being alive or alive outside is worse. Oh! It’s going outside, no doubt. And no, I don’t mean because of summertime weather. Now more than ever, I want that billion. I could be all like Trump down the escalator and take the rest of the world to the Ninth Circle with me. As always, my Republican ideas. Because I’m broke, bare flooring, bed, my belly. Bank account (sigh). Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs

894 Days Without B III, Day 335 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 011 ~Happiness’s A B, Virgil~

Negative? Have you taken a look outside the window? Or turn on the TV, computer, or phone. I swear screens are everywhere. That’s why I’m making more room for audiobooks. But with all these pics of my boys. I should be happy? Happiness’s A B, Virgil.

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

Tale 011 ~Happiness’s A B, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But is that happiness? I should start my day with the truth, Inspector though it hurts.

My son is dead. God, a lie is so much simpler. I am a billionaire, ha-ha. Or I am dead already. Inspector, how about I am happy? Again, simplicity. I haven’t got that remark out of my head from a couple of days ago about being negative. But happiness? I feel a bit sick. Inspector, that could be the energy shot I took. Please! I do that at the Day Job every day, don’t I. Does having the Day Job make me happy? Ill Will. Infected, Insane, Incredulous of “Life Itself.” Do you remember that movie? Of all the things that come up, dear Echo, you know, like when I do those meditations. Or when I listened to motivations. And that one moment in school.

Happiness is not a thing I find. Do you find it or make it at all, Inspector? It’s 7:05 AM. And here I am, sitting in the center of the bed, trying to write it out. It’s hard, dammit. I got to stop doing “that.” Once again, I’m censoring myself because of some no-name troll. There is nothing I can say that wouldn’t be thought of as a negative Inspector. Existence. While I was lying here and thinking about what I wanted, um… Movement, Space, Time. I saw this meme before. And I don’t have TIME to find it. But it said something like this. “You told me to be happy.” What was it, you ask? It was a coffin in a graveyard. Oh yeah.

Okay, I can’t talk about my son. I’m trying. Yes, really, not to speak about “relations.” And people suck. What would be acceptable to everyone else? Negativity is not allowed! Inspector, I want to move something other than my fingers every day. And that’s the bare minimum. I want to walk with Virgil without fear of him running away. Sigh. There are several things I want to move on from. (Cough) Braxton. Grief, rage, bedrooms… Inspector, I don’t want to worry about that space between me and my pants. Always. E, I want to stop feeling whatever when V takes up the center of the bed wanting to be close. I want to quit wasting time and find or make happiness… Happiness’s A B, Virgil

892 Days Without B III, Day 333 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 010 ~Virgil, Today Will B~

Someday they’ll be happy tears? I remember when B’s Aunt got married, and now um… not my business. But a day will come that won’t be worse than the last. V might hop in the car. I’ll win the lotto. Or have some two-legged kids. “Virgil, Today Will B”

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

Tale 010 ~Virgil, Today Will B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I have to remember to put this on a Silvercut pendant or something, my love.

Braxton, Virgil, Will, Today, or reverse it. Should I add, always? Buying jewelry of dogs? Hell! This wouldn’t be necessary if Braxton was still alive. If I was the man, I should have been. Seems there’s a lot of that going around. It’s day 891, and still counting as always. How many days have I woken up and been excited about it? (Sigh) A day that I can “honest to God” say I wanted to. Considering what time it is? I didn’t know I would meet Virgil on Saturday, August 13, 2022. I have to start reminding myself of it. To think I knew, ha. Dying and living, but it’s the sticking around that pisses people off. I remember that from a movie I saw.

Movie nights with B III’s Aunt. I never knew that those nights would grow to be so special to me and my son. Ask me what are the best moments of my life… well, existence. Actually, no! I will say life. And don’t worry my love, I will get to us in a second. The day I was born… does any baby expect it. Being thirty-eight now, I see it as the worst day ever. Second only to B III’s passing away. I killed B. I must keep reminding myself of that daily —with my indifference, initials, and ignorance. Hmm. And then there are the days to expect the unexpected. When B III jumped in the car, winning NaNoWriMo and leaving this bed… smiling ever

Because if I hadn’t, I would have never met you, “My Love.” Yes, I want to do my best Sia impression, ha-ha. You know music has a way of altering my mood immensely. Weak? Love, I might be. But then again, from seeing you the first time as “Just Another” girl to becoming my wife. Now that’s a day I can say it is a good life, all of it. But B III? There’s also the day that you and I made… pancakes. B III is my original, but for ours, I really did have to “pour the Bisquick.” That was a lot of fun. Do you “Remember The Time?” Someday I’ll… not forget. But look on Braxton, Virgil, myself smiling. Virgil, Today Will B

891 Days Without B III, Day 332 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 008 ~Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil~

A pillow I effed up soon after V’s arrival, and a can of dog food. I haven’t thrown anything of B’s away. I see his bed every day. I wear the hoody he laid on. But seeing his face… Mine… “No face as hideous as my face.” “Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil.”

Sunday, July 9, 2023

Tale 008 ~Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And existence is easier when you don’t have to see the faces of those you hurt, asshole.

Is it any wonder the sons of former slave owners… grandsons, great-grandsons? Hell! Whatever? Anyway, they don’t want to see African Americans on a greenback… Government (sigh)! It’s how you wake up in the morning. Well, next to the pornography. How you wish you could say you’d give it all up to see Braxton again. Now would you? I mean, really, could you? You could look into Virgil’s little eyes. Between V and B? There would be no contest. Braxton wins. Though you’re not one for putting your boys against each other… How did this day start again? You were mad at Twitter, jerking to some twins, and then? Ahh, missing your son like last night and hearing that song while doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Ark (Forward Collection) by Veronica Roth
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For the record, in Ark (Forward collection) Kindle Edition by Veronica Roth, the song “Wish You Were Here.” Sam was talking about Pink Floyd and not the one from Incubus. One more reason you believe B is sending you signs. And working for ugly women? That’s pretty harsh. Women you don’t find attractive or that you’ve never seen at all. Although you believe Samantha in the story is “So Hott” and Veronica Roth too. Effer. Effing Pic Phenomenon. I was so scared when that happened. You still are, no doubt. Today though, it’s getting to that point of “I Don’t Care Anymore.” Considering I’ve gotten off to that pixeled mess from some Japanese films. Only “God” knows all the faces you’ve seen. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Thinking On It… Effing Kindle Challenges
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you wonder if there is such an entity, has he seen your face? And if not, Heaven, uh, no. You’re more self-conscious that B III is somewhere looking at you. Oh, to have shame. That’s why you hate mirrors. To beg that thing on the other side to “Save me from the nothing I’ve become.” I can’t, or I won’t. And it will be the same for you. Frightening. More than any horror movie I’ve seen, or you will. Why do you think you’ll study Necromancy? How to bring the dead back to life. You’re talking about yourself. Only you don’t want to see it. Trust The Process? There are clocks, Virgil’s eyes, people. You’ll see yourself and HATE yourself. Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil

889 Days Without B III, Day 330 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 006 ~Virgil Has No B~

I’m crushing on one of the chicks in “Buried Deep in Our Hearts.” When she told a few of her coworkers to shut their pie-holes about her cat. But I was so angry I went back to reading about the world’s end like losing a fur baby is. Virgil Has No B.

Friday, July 7, 2023

Tale 006 ~Virgil Has No B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not try to get off this godforsaken rock? Too busy getting off, aren’t I?

Heh-heh, Day One Ish… And yet 887 days without my son. Hell! If I were a better man, I’d go the same amount of days with my dick in my pants, my hands… whatever, Sophia. As you damn well know, I am not a good person. But how? Do you mean besides the death of my son B III? And there’s the fact that I can’t call Virgil that. Some say that makes me “normal,” not referring to a dog as my child. I couldn’t read “Buried Deep in Our Hearts.” No worries… (which I haven’t said in a “long, long time”); I will sometime soon. Thursday though… Well, we’ll get to that. What about my boy, though? Virgil’s here. Do I treat him like Braxton or “The New Guy?”

Speaking of movies from 2002… Sigh, to think I had such “promise,” Lady Sophia. Nope! But what about Braxton’s book? Or any of the books that I’ve written, to be honest. There’s even all these conversations that we’ve been having. The “Tales” have only just begun, Soph, as far as my writing goes. How do I describe how I feel about it? It’s bad, okay. Hell! It is somewhere between Mike Enslin in 1408. And Leo Biederman in Deep Impact. Endings. If there is one semi-good thing about today, I’m not feeling suicidal desperation now. Don’t get me wrong, like the song “Teen Idle,” I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” But that’s an everyday thing for me. Again being honest

Only there are so many things to read, Sophia. Suppose I stick with the 50/30/20 Rule. I was drawn to it this morning. Sometimes I think these ideas are all messages from my little B, ha-ha. And sometimes, it’s a crappy Kindle challenge. As I said, the book I was reading was starting to piss me off. And the challenge had a quick read on it Ark by Veronica Roth. Divergent? The last thing I need to think about. Sigh, Shailene Woodley’s tits on this AM. Spend money on books, not boobies, isn’t that right, Lady Sophia. Because shopping on a Saturday is, as Todd would put it, “No Bueno.” Life without Braxton’s the same. Again Virgil’s here. But you know, Virgil Has No B.

887 Days Without B III, Day 328 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 004 ~Letters B To V~

How long will getting B’s name etched on my arm take? B R A… I wish I could say I’ve been busy. Sleeping or organizing… and no, I don’t mean Braxton’s pictures. And what about V? I can’t tell him anything. But these words (sigh). Letters B To V.

Wednesday, July 05, 2023

Tale 004 ~Letters B To V~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And yet I couldn’t spell Billionaire without help. And Tale? Monday, June 26, 2023… For now…

That’s when I began speaking to you right this second. By the time you read this, I hope I’m still calling these conversations Tales. I won’t finish today because… Mathematics. Ask me how long it took me to do the math on what day it was today. “I feel STUPID!” I’ve been getting that a lot these days. And yet I read every day. I’ve told you before. I’m still not any wiser. Hell! I wonder what I’m reading now. A damn Kindle Challenge, ha? I need to try reading about the money that’s in the bank. Oh! WWE Money in the Bank, Echo. How do I believe those stories? Or how bullies get what they deserve in the end. So excited I hit Braxton…

Have I told you about that E? I was watching YouTube and swinging around everywhere. One more thing to apologize to Braxton for. And what about Virgil? Where’s V anyway? I forgot how to be a Dad. But what I’m ashamed of the most… at least today. Uh, the porn? You know that’s my thing Echo. If only I got paid for it… But no. It’s been all about burning cash or trying not to. Then again, I am time-traveling. Emails, bitcoin, the future? Anyway, I was trying to do something… and as I was telling Braxton this afternoon. Uh, there’s freedom, being free, and that is something these people never said. My ignorance. Sometimes it surprises even me. Listening with the wrong head… Always

And the right one? It’s telling me to get out of bed and get a life instead of this existence.

I’m right back here. It’s as if I haven’t moved a muscle. Coming back to you, it’s now Tuesday, July 4, 2023. Happy Independence Day! What is one holiday I celebrate? Is there even one? I cry or seek comfort; once upon a time, there was one where I conned people. Can I call it that? Like calling it Emergence, Existence, or Extinction Day? You can guess which one of those I want. To be a Dad, get a life, or like the song “Make Me Wanna Die,” hmm. That’s nothing I can tell my boys, my “friends.” But the words. Letters B To V

885 Days Without B III, Day 326 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 003 ~Fire Works, Braxton, Virgil~

My boys hate fireworks… I know B did. And from Virgil’s behavior from gunfire, thunderbolt, and lightning, very, very frightening. Can’t say I care for fireworks. Except in bed. But what about a girlfriend or a honeymoon. Fire Works, Braxton, Virgil

Tuesday, July 4, 2023

Tale 003 ~Fire Works, Braxton, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m independent. I’m free. Now I can speak like a member of the GOP…

I’m not in a celebratory mood now despite everything, my love. “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man… a black man.” If I have to explain that to you, we’ve got problems. Other than another day of me mourning my son? 884 days and counting. Not that I consider that a problem. I should be more concerned that I had to look up the term “Compound Nouns.” Um. You don’t have to be a genius to make money in the USA. Ha! I wish I had sooner, as if that would have kept my little boy away from the fire. I’ll stop. Please, a lie if I ever heard one. Am I speaking in a political sense or that of Virgil here?

“Honey and the Moon” Honeymoon? Do we even have a song? Again, today we should be listening to something much more pro-American. I swear, love, much like my B III… Now that is an insult. I’m sad for my son and mad about our country. And it only gets worse. But let me cry about my boy and when it comes to the country. Well, I’ll leave that The Newsroom, nuts, and better Howard Beale from the movie Network. YouTube? Every morning after the alarm, there is a song in my head from Braxton. Playlist? Yeah, I made one yesterday but not for him. Although today it was “Lately” Trinton. Reading the lyrics to that, though… fuck how that describes you and me right now.

Girlfriend? And no, I’m not trying to sound like… I was going to say something… I don’t know; sexist, homophobic, or downright rude. I only know; I was thinking about the girls I used to know or a drag queen. That is another reason to miss Braxton. I could tell him anything. Ninety-nine percent, anyway. Going back to the days, though, when you were my girlfriend? Hell! I’m thirty-eight, love. Thirty-eight, and I’ll admit. Fireworks still creep me out. Sort of. Braxton and Virgil, same. Do our two-legged kids like fireworks? It only shows how much I’ve been paying attention. I prefer the ones you and I made on our honeymoon and our last time… Fucking, making love? Language, I know. But what to say, love? Fire Works, Braxton, Virgil

884 Days Without B III, Day 325 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 001 ~BIII Of Time, Virgil~

Day one, 365 Tales to Tell. If I don’t end up angry and kill somebody. And arrested for… I could always fall asleep in a heartbeat. Much like my son did. The time we had together and Virgil’s been here how long. I’m still older. BIII Of Time, Virgil.

Sunday, July 2, 2023

Tale 001 ~BIII Of Time, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But how long will it take you? Here we are —the first day of a new year.

Care? Well, I didn’t think so. But to be fair, this is on both of us, considering what time you went to bed. It was early in the morning, sometime around 1:00. What gives? Effing? Don’t you wish? If only I could have been doing something productive. If not… Crying? Hell! You’ll become a billionaire around the same time you forget about your lost boy. To forget about Braxton… “And after I pull off that miracle, maybe I’ll go punch out God.” That’s from Sin City, in case you were wondering. Yeah, looking up the words to some movie led to… Well, maybe we should stick to the subject of time. The first day of “Tales,” and how many for, you know, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Looking for Alaska by John Green
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And speaking of tales… More like the two novels about your boy. There’s the feeling that someone is watching you. Hell! You just woke up. How many crimes could you have possibly committed? Only I’m not talking about the ones in naughty stories you write. Yeah, you remember. Today is the second day of Camp NaNoWriMo, and you haven’t thought of explaining “your” world. There’s also editing. Or look at it this way. You could eat your words if you got published sometime this week. You’ll eat your words anyway. Yesterday was my last day to eat well. You’ll have quite the time this week worrying about money. I spent everything yesterday and all for you. Do I love you? Yeah, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Deciding…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re always around, and I hate your guts. But we’ll still be Freakin’ Friends. Right? Imagine a day when everything on this list gets done, and then what. “Well, that’s the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream….” You’ll finish this list when you’re done being a pop culture whore. I mean, when you just quoted Tangled. I mean, damn. Or should you say damned? When will you take it upon yourself to get out of this existence? The food poisoning a couple of weeks back. Killing you. Time’s destruction. But again, here you are, wasting it. You want to have sex, sleep, or something to eat. And then what. Only a billion simoleons and then BIII Of Time, Virgil

882 Days Without B III, Day 323 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 364 ~Dying To B Virgil~

I was dying to talk about something… but now I’m living to or for… Hell! I only exist, but I wonder if Braxton… there I go again. I meant, does Virgil think he’s living the life. Maybe if I mowed the lawn. There are bodies to hide. Dying To B Virgil.

Friday, June 30, 2023

Saga 364 ~Dying To B Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I can lie here all day. Or identify as a dog. Going Titanic diving, hmm…

Is that in poor taste? Bad form? I would say I’m just “Doing Me.” You know I’m just doing my thing. Hell! As if I know about any of that. Boy, Braxton, big-breasted babes… “Bodies Bodies Bodies,” and no, Lady Sophia. I haven’t seen the movie, but it gives me ideas. I should watch Spontaneous again, along with this movie and Looking for Alaska. I finished the book yesterday. Was Alaska’s death an accident or a suicide, Lady Sophia? All I know is this one story I keep telling myself about Braxton. My little boy was murdered. And I guess it’s hard to type with all the blood on my hands. And with other crimes… If I become a billionaire, I won’t start trophy hunting.

My furry little boy was enough for me. But “The Most Dangerous Game…” Uh, yeah… Did I say I wanted to hunt human beings for sport? The world, my writing… WAR… Lady Sophia, I hope I can pick a better word than “Bawitdaba.” Only with my luck, like I can attest today. I didn’t mean to write any of this dribble at all. Zombies, friend. Namely, a zombie apocalypse is what I want to rant about, to read, and the rage I have felt at myself these past few days. To choose death over everything, including despair. The only time I have despaired over death was, again, losing Braxton. But how best to love me more? That’s what I was thinking yesterday. To love me?

I think to myself that Braxton would rather die than see me unhappy. But then again, he would instead live than see me unhappy. That’s why he fought death for so damn long, Lady Sophia. I say that my indifference killed him. But as he lay dying… nothing but love. I’m in love with death, My Lady. In particular, that of my dog, the decisions of a damned world, and every orgasm my dick provides me. Let the apocalypse come. Inevitable, am I right? The end and a sex joke. Again this did not go at all how I figured. At least it kept me from talking about, well… I spoke of Alaska Young’s death. Tomorrow? One more year of writing. Dying To B Virgil

880 Days Without B III, Day 321 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will