Tag: Survival

Meditation 244 ~Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Something went awry forty years ago when my Ma made her biggest life mistake. Quite awry four years ago when I watched my firstborn die. And this morning’s plans. Reading about harems, posting sexy cosplay, my writing… Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil

Sunday, March 2, 2025

Meditation 244 ~Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Do you have a plan? STAY ALIVE! For Braxton, for Virgil. And there are dragons to slay.

Or rather, “Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time when there are actual dragons.” That sounds like something you might tell two-legged daughters. But instead, you have four-legged sons. Well, B flies amongst the clouds. And V is still finding his paws.

How did we get here? Had I known how to save a life, things would be different, better, or anything other than this, but let’s talk about the worst plan I ever made. And yours.

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
Robert Burns, To a Mouse

Four years ago, Braxton became ill. And after a difficult week at the Day Job, on Friday, January 29, 2021, I took Braxton to the doctor and got the news. On that Sunday, B died.

What did I do? Nothing! Compared to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 9 ―
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

This was my plan for the week and your plan for next week, DUH. So if I might give you some advice… First, you know the definition of insanity. It’s doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, so THEY say. So what will you do?

There’s a method to the madness… For example, if you had twelve disciples… He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. You would have six women and five men, and Braxton would make twelve. But there are seven days, and you tend to run things more like a harem. Four women: Dear Future Wife, Inspector Echo, the Ladies Sophia, and Lunalesca.

There’s Braxton’s speaking. You speak, then talk to yourself. Too busy for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Sunset: An Unconventional Romance
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Don’t you wish? While you have no plans in the Bible, it says, “Your old men will dream dreams.” Well, you’re older than me now by about nine hours. So what was your dream, hmm? Or should I still say my dream since it happened last night? Talk about violence:

Anyway, last night I was in Squid Game, and the game had me jumping from planet to planet and floating to What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. I imagine I lost the game because next, I’m in the Day Job breakroom being shot by The Frontman in the back. But I survived because I was wearing a bulletproof vest. Still, I was put in one of the crematoria ovens, but I wasn’t burned. Instead, I was dropped into a dark room where a firefight was being waged. A possible escape attempt was going on? I’m still in the green uniform. Then I’m given a gun, and I start fighting. There’s a building across from us, and I spot a sniper because of a green sight on the weapon. I dodge, but five more appear on my body, and I have no idea how to avoid them. And that’s where the dream ended. Oh my!

Don’t let your only plan be to do nothing. Like dinner? $200 refund? And there’s Virgil. Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil.

1491 Days Without B III, Day 932 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 240 ~Willing The BS Virgil~

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I need Special Education by Goodie Mob standards if this day is a thriller. Hell! I’ve been all about the music as long as I have the Wi-Fi and the router I installed… A week before this conversation. FEAR is such BS. Willing The BS Virgil.

Wednesday, February 26, 2025

Meditation 240 ~Willing The BS Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Again? Let me start by ripping off Eminem. Guess who’s back, back again. Willie’s back, tell a friend.

What, that I’m scared out of my Effing mind! And I told you this morning that while I was terrified of losing Braxton, I’m still breathing. And I ain’t scared of no sheets, Mr. President. And I ain’t afraid of the Schutzstaffel (the SS), Mr. Musk. But I’m so scared.

Inspector, the question is, what am I afraid of? As it has become customary, I ask questions when I know the answers. I’m afraid to sleep. And how do I conquer said fear? The answer…

Inspector, I sleep. But not today. I’m waiting for and willing this existence’s BS move.

Yes, Inspector, I’m waiting for it to break down again. And my “Shakedown” and trembling with fear. I missed my afternoon nap. I love Wi-Fi.

Do I love it more than my son B? It makes me sick to my stomach, my dear Lady Echo. Inspector, take all of my electronic devices and secrets, and you could have it all. My empire of dirt. All I want is my LIFE with my son back. Aren’t I musical today, Inspector Echo?

Yes, I enjoyed my devices while living in the bathroom, either on my knees or behind. Eww! I know, Inspector. When I get scared, I get sick, except if we’re talking about the Day Job.

Then I get even more scared, and suddenly I feel better because I don’t want to lose it, Inspector. How’s that for getting “Down With The Sickness? If anything, I need to take sick days.

Why? Because I didn’t work last week, I won’t get a paycheck. I’m willing to deal with the Day Job’s BS because I will need to deal with the world’s BS one day. But that day never comes. Too frightened! I’m worrying about internet security on Wednesday, February 19, 2025.

While I was busy with that this morning, why exactly was that? Natsumi Obata and her big juicy Yabbos from Saimin Seishidou. I like to show her off. Inspector Echo…?

Beautiful women, am I right? Even animated ones. But adult relations… You know that other S-word makes me feel better. So, sleep, sickness, and spicy material scare me, dave me, and are sinful. Sloth, right? Thriller of a day. I’m Special Willing The BS Virgil.

1487 Days Without B III, Day 928 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 237 ~Bury B, Belly V~

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I’m full of IT. But what IT is changes daily. This morning, IT was the spirit of FEAR. And while I am not a religious person, I remember singing God has not given us the spirit of fear. But my Little God died with an empty belly. Bury B, Belly V

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Meditation 237 ~Bury B, Belly V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Open your eyes. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is strength. Deceiving, Dangerous, and disgusting words. So what’s worse?

You… You’re sorry to start the new week off so harshly. But with the way last week went, and here you are today. THEY say when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Right?

But not you. No! You look to what you have already survived, and upon seeing this, you float along. But it doesn’t stop your stomach from dropping. The horror, the horror, my friend. And there are much better books than “Heart of Darkness.” Are you going to compare Joseph Conrad to Eric Vall? Really!? For the last few days, it’s been all FEAR. Too Much!

It feels like you jinxed yourself. Starting on the 15th, things were supposed to get better. Somehow, someway. But looking at these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Doesn’t it make you sick? You’re sick, but not because of these things. It’s the more you know. And last week, that consisted of three things. Comedy comes in threes, so THEY say. And none of those had you rushing off to the bathroom. And today’s energy shot isn’t helping things. But what did you know? You’re wasting the week. Why? Because you’re alive, and B is gone. You’re not blaming him. Your son stopped eating. And you… Well, you can’t keep anything good down. Food in your belly, 2-V off the bed, etc., etc.

Only the bad things… The monster in your pants, dirty words in search bars. Keywords.

The dead rising isn’t good. Especially when you don’t look a thing like Jesus. Could he accomplish Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 9 ―
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I think he had greater concerns than yours. But what if he had a dog? Jesus had twelve dudes and a Naughty Girl. Are you listening to Beyoncé? Anything beats the beeps and boops, your bare feet hitting the floor, or busting on Cherry’s Yabbos. And M Anime got the outfit you sent her Yesterday. And now it’s The Beatles. What is wrong with you?

You’re not you when you’re hungry. But what about when you’re scared like you are. Fear comes in flavors, and none of them are good. And I understand I ain’t helping. I’d tell you to eat something, drink your water, and down a painkiller. Still, you wonder why… Braxton, Virgil, you? Bury B, Belly V

1484 Days Without B III, Day 925 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 233 ~What’s Christof’s BS Virgil~

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What pray tell is my greatest fear? The fear of losing my son. Been there, done that. I don’t fear death. Drowning… Far Cry 5, Heavy Rain, and being In The Navy were harrowing. But as of 6 AM, it’s the Wi-Fi and a redhead. What’s Christof’s BS Virgil

Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Meditation 233 ~What’s Christof’s BS Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Well, according to Google, experiencing FEAR is not a sin. But living… uh, existing as I do is.

I wish I could be as diabolical as Christof is in “The Truman Show.” I want to have as much grit as Tom in “Vivarium.” And who doesn’t want to be Hajime Tanaka from Saimin Seishidou? What? There are no secrets in the House of Bradford. Well, what I do when I take a shower? Or when I have to kick Braxton and Virgil out of the room. Man stuff.

Yes, I am one for por… romances of an adult nature. I am also a Pop Culture so-and-so Inspector Echo. But worst is how I panic, pout, and pretend to be a gentleman… I’m pathetic.

I’m more like a professor, philosopher, and poet… No, I gave that honor to Virgil. And to honor my Braxton…

Again, I exist in FEAR of everything. And that FEAR today was for the Wi-Fi. I did not call upon the courage of my lost son. But that of Christof. Shows what I do Internet-wise.

So, this morning, I was hit by two fears. One, that I had been hacked. And two, living without purpose. When dealing with the first, I switched routers. Can you imagine if I were a father to two-legged kids rather than four-legged ones? All Virgil knows is I was up early. FEAR plus Adrenaline and an energy shot. Next thing you know, I’m at the Dining Room table having this talk instead of in bed. Having a harem again means…

Speaking of which, I’ve been trying to calm down Inspector.

I finished reading Dirk Knight’s “Harem University Book 4,” But that was after I dealt with my second FEAR, FOMO, as the kids say, “fear of missing out.” Yeah, those kids are ages 22-24. Anyway, that’s the reason I was cutting out scenes from Saimin Seishidou’s Episode 5. So everyone could watch Natsumi Obata get “Hypnotized.” I’m a mother-effing PIMP.

Literally… Eww! What about being a writer? Do I still FEAR that I’ll never make it or that no one cares? Uh, I get more attention for a redhead’s anime, Yabbos. But am I smart? Inspector, I’ve been sharing parts of Nightmare At The Meat Market with AI. Talk about breaking down my genius… But FEAR is breaking me down. Overflowing. What’s Christof’s BS Virgil

1480 Days Without B III, Day 921 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

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So why am I randy, passionate, hot, and bothered today… Well, a woman I like isn’t mad at me. Some dirtier thoughts got posted. And today is “The Cherry Collison.” Why think about “her” yabbos. I overthink everything else. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

Sunday, February 16, 2025

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is the age of Doublethink. So, how come I was not more of a rebel?

Because I overthink. As will you. As will all. See, it’s already started. But as always, we begin with Braxton. Have you figured out what took him from you yet? Seriously, my boy… My man. Technically, the Braxton mourning period is from the last week of January to the 13th of February. And between now and the third week of January 2026. If you live.

And even now, you don’t want that. But since you need to figure out why 2-V was crying… Um… I kicked him out because he wouldn’t stay put, and the storm was scaring him. And if he had been Braxton. Here we go again… AHEM. “And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.” Or how to do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Quickies! by Adriena Temple, 50 Flash Fiction Stories of Pure…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Overthinking should be on the list. Why? Because it’s causing you to write down questions you already know the answers to. This isn’t any of your Math classes looking for X. It’s about recognizing when you’re overthinking and stopping yourself from going down that path.

Anyway, why should overthinking be on the list? Yesterday? Yeah, I was all messed up regarding M Anime. But what did she say? She needed to catch five hours of sleep. Eff!!! If anything, you know all about getting some sleep. But to rest ever. I tried, you tried, SIGH.

Not when there are so many yabbos, your yogurt slinger, and your words, your words, your words, they have power. Your words have the power to change things. One of the guys on X/Twitter showed your ngl message about… nevermind.

Worry about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Amongst other things… Terrible thing to live in fear, as Stephen King put it. Living?

Honestly, next to Braxton dying, you having to live is the worst. Ask Virgil someday.

Virgil is only a reflection of you? Hell! I’m a reflection of you and don’t know what to tell you. More like I don’t know how not to lie to you. Because again, I overthought everything, and now you have a whole week to. That’s right, you’re not working. ANY?

Honestly! What have you been doing since we’ve been having this conversation? At best, waiting for your tax refund… On a Sunday… And that’s only one more worry. Get up. That’s right. Cleaning, cooking, the cost of living, and your Cock-a-Doodle-Doo. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

1477 Days Without B III, Day 918 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 226 ~Another B For Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Even if by some miracle I ever became “The Hero…” I couldn’t save B. I have no clue how to save myself. And I rescued V… Though if he had his way. But how many times have I written it out? B III, boobies, and always more books. “Another B For Virgil”

Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Meditation 226 ~Another B For Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Is it a sin to want to be saved? He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, my Braxton.

My firstborn son Braxton, B III. And as much as I hate to admit it… Well, no, I don’t. Consider I’ve gone on talking about B for four long years. B’s memory keeps me sane.

Inspector, I no longer call out to him for his medication. Again, it’s been four years, and Virgil’s been here two and a half. But I’m still having trouble remembering his name, Echo. And yet I remember Braxton’s birthday is tomorrow. Braxton would be twenty.

Inspector, for the record, I was twenty myself when he and I first met. B III should have had twenty. To think this is the time I expected to lose him. What a joke, Inspector. Where was I supposed to be around this time? Hmm.

“All the things I thought I’d be
All the brave things I’ve done
Vanish like a snowflake
With the rising of the sun.”
Randy Newman

But no. Today is Tuesday, February 11, 2025, and what have I done today. Writing?

Inspector, yeah, sure. And we’ll get into that. But I wrote a few lines about wanting to “bed” Isla Dawn. What was it I’ve been talking about lately? Oh yeah, joining the scum of the Earth, talking a certain way about women. It’s one reason I’m checking out female wrestlers. Honestly, Inspector, anytime I check out anything ADULT on X, it’s usually followed up with Trump, Elon, MAGA, or racists. An amalgamation, my dear Inspector

Nothing ruins the mood more. And at the same time, Inspector, what gets me going…

Inspector, to be fair, I prefer Thora Birch’s twins. Um, Yabbos. Cherry’s I’ve never seen…

But there’s always hope, right?

“If there was hope, it must lie in the proles.”

Only I’m Just A Man who made twenty bucks on OnlyFans with my manhood… Wow!

Enough for a payout but not enough to buy a future. And without Braxton here to save me. Virgil, again, is anywhere but here. He takes up the bed most days, but comfy spots are everywhere. So, if I’m not in the bedroom, Inspector, I watch the house fall apart.

What can I do? What must I do? Sure, there are plenty of books to read. But to write one…

My words, these words, those words, they have power. But the power to save me. Inspector Braxton did that most days with his silence. Braxton Barks Bradford, B III, son. But which B will it be? Another B For Virgil

1473 Days Without B III, Day 914 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 223 ~It’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

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I’ve wondered where to stream WWE PLEs and the Olympics. But I never figured I’d be looking for “The Big Game.” The commercials, anyway. And I can’t say I’ve loved or even liked them over the past few years. But today, maybe… It’ll B Lovely, Virgil

Sunday, February 9, 2025

Meditation 223 ~It’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And today didn’t start out with Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows. Um, aren’t you supposed to be manly?

Do you see yourself? Unfortunately, your eyes aren’t full of tears. If anything, you had a delightful dream. You know the type… Fallout, Apocalyptic, Braxton as “Dogmeat” by your side.

Crying over your Lost Boy was the least of your problems. Seriously? You think that!

Well, today is all about the Big Game. And Braxton help you. Last night and this morning, you were trying to figure out where to watch it. More to the point, watching the ads. Ha!

That’s the guy we all know and love… Nope! You put the only guy you love in the ground. Well, in an oven… That was extremely dark but par for the course in Trump’s MAGA America. Eww! Focus on you and failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING ― Satan’s Sorority Girls 8
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The courage of men fails. Well, yours does, anyway. But being a monster… You are Braxton’s Dad. You’re trying with Virgil. And yes, today is about football. Is that manly?

Liking Yabbos is… There are many ways to be a man, but you were singing I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man with all the likes and reposts on X/Twitter. People like Yabbos.

Wanting to be the man that provides Yabbos and tells the world I’m a mother effin’ P.I.M.P. Tsubaki Miyajima’s assets certainly accomplished this. And you’ve already set up an alert to share Reina Kurashiki’s should the opportunity present itself. Will it? And now you’re thinking about Cherry and her Mum’s sets of melons. Man, you’re The Monster. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Quickies! by Adriena Temple, 50 Flash Fiction Stories of Pure…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because a man would keep his word. A man provides. A man, a real man, a daddy saves his son. But tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of receiving Braxton’s ashes. The 13th is Braxton’s birthday. And then comes Valentine’s Day. Does Braxton need a step-mom?

Virgil does. But from a girl like M Anime? You asked her to be your Valentine last year… And what happened? If I ask you how to define love, you have only one word, Braxton.

Do you expect her to break out into My Boy Lollipop over you? And she has cats. Not that you have anything against cats, but your fur buddy Virgil… And you don’t even love yourself. The day you accomplish that… Someday… It’ll B Lovely, Virgil

1470 Days Without B III, Day 911 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 219 ~Who Is HBK, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Considering how many days I’ll have without human contact, I’ll have to find new ways of humiliation. Confessing to Braxton’s Euthanasia four years ago. Virgil is here. But I’m too busy chatting with the worst wrestling fans… Who Is HBK, Virgil?

Wednesday, February 5, 2025

Meditation 219 ~Who Is HBK, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… At least I haven’t failed before the human race… President Trump. The “man” I’m disappointed in is myself.

I haven’t bothered looking at the “Man In The Mirror” today, but it’s early Inspector.

There’s also the fact that I’ve cried twice before 9:00. Damn Eden White’s “Song Unsung” and “Yamaha” by Delta Spirit. It takes the fire out of Satan’s Sorority Girls 8.

Inspector, can we talk about HBK? Later. First, there’s B, always and forever, my boy. Braxton, my firstborn son. Between the last week of January and the first couple of weeks of February, there isn’t much fear of Humiliations Galore coming from people. Eye Doc?

Yes, I will set up another appointment. And I have to talk to the ISP. And there’s always the FEAR of my father’s arrival. But I survived losing Braxton, and with that, I’m a “Survivor.”

But today isn’t about Destiny’s Child, 2WEI, President Trump (Eff Donald Trump)! Or even The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. So why did I bring HBK up, my dear Inspector Echo? Because I’m “Just A Man.” And how many pop culture references is that, my lady? Again, you should read Satan’s Sorority Girls 8 by Eric Vall. The man’s gone crazy.

Only if you want crazier can you read from Twitter/X from the criminal cu*k boys.

I watched the Royal Rumble, and of course, I fell in with these worst kinds of people. Funny, that’s where I find all the Trump and Elon propaganda. Say horrific things about women, and suddenly, the algorithm says MAGA to the core. Inspector Echo, really? I sent a friend this:

But she’s old and has nothing to lose. But I’m forty. Dignity, delightful people, daylight…

I lost my dog, I lost B. That’s a lie because I signed his life away. And what about mine? I’m The Heartbreak Kid, but not in the fun WWE type of way. “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow.” And it could be I want to find myself guilty of something other than B’s Euthanasia. And, “Only God Knows Why.” For the record, that’s about seven songs, my lady.

Excuse me, eight there’s also Rakuen (Paradise). Paradise would be joining my son. It would be not thinking about all these single ladies or superstars Yabbos and saying gross things.

9, Inspector Echo. Ignorance is bliss. Who Is HBK, Virgil.

1466 Days Without B III, Day 907 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Life’s a game for everyone. Life’s a game, but it’s not fair. If I had my way, I would quit right now. But who would remember my son, my Braxton? I haven’t published his book yet. And my boy Virgil is still here. But… To B Fair Virgil.

Sunday, February 2, 2025

Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I know it’s not fair. You’re still breathing. Braxton’s Aunt Augusta confirmed that the other day.

At forty, you find yourself navigating life as an African-American, an atheist and often feeling alone. You know Virgil is here, but you also understand that it’s not the same.

Always and forever, remember that. I’m sure Braxton does. And what did that get him? Dead. And a father with an unhealthy obsession with death. Please! You were way into the dead, darkness, and dystopias before, during, and after Braxton. But without him here… Oh, what a world, what a world. “What a world, what a life, I’m in love…”

However, it’s with the prospect of leaving. It would only be fair with what you did to Braxton. Ending him. But it’s also important to forgive ourselves. How’s that going? With everything that connects us, this is the universal truth. Braxton is gone because you failed him. He met with the fire on Thursday, February 4, 2021. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Surviving Pet Death, Gracie Wyatt
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 014 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! You should have put saving your son’s life. At least then, all of these failures would be fair. Or giving Virgil a better life. For 904 Days, life still hasn’t been fair to him.

Life hasn’t been fair to you since E-Day forty years ago. But you can say it’s been unfair for 1463 Days. You lost your player two, the samples, Triforce, and you ran out of time on the mission. Gaming? Well, between moving everything back upstairs and the phone. But Prince said, “We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” B did.

Still, today, after a text from your father… That’s all it took to fail Number Six: “I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am.” What about the other Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING ― Satan’s Sorority Girls 8
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You don’t want to play this game anymore. GOD, how I know! I faced Braxton’s Euthanasia once again. And its aftermath. You know that Braxton’s cremation was on the 4th. And next week… The 10th is Braxton’s return. His ashes are in a box on the nightstand. The 13th is Braxton’s birthday. These dates, each one a painful reminder of loss. The 14th, that’s V-Day.

And no, not for Virgil. Will you talk M Anime into being your Valentine? A beautiful Puerto Rican woman who goes between calling you her bro AHEM step-bro. And then offering herself. Life, Existence… Seriously?

Existence is efffing wrong. Or as 50 Cent said, “Death gotta be easy ’cause life is hard.” If that ain’t the truth. And it’s easier to tell the truth to prosti… than a psychiatrist, right.

It’s why you write to harem girls, yourself, and Braxton. Or he speaks through you. Sigh. To B Fair Virgil.

1463 Days Without B III, Day 904 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 212 ~Virgil On B’s Whereabouts~

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While I don’t remember the day, there was the look in Braxton’s eyes as we sat at the front door. He’s here, I’m here, and that was enough for both us. But V looks so lost. Indeed, I lost my way in this place, after B… Virgil On B’s Whereabouts.

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Meditation 212 ~Virgil On B’s Whereabouts~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I should have done more. What… Sin? I’ve actually been a very good boy. Wednesday, January 22, 2025.

So, where is Braxton? For that matter, where is Virgil? 2:30 PM… “Do You Know Where Your Children Are?” One out of three or more ain’t bad. So Inspector? Braxton?

Considering from where you’re sitting… the week Braxton died? But at this moment, there have been a few tears for my firstborn son. I need only think of Braxton’s name, then… Only if you mean literally Braxton is in his box on the nightstand. And the pendant on top of that when I’m not wearing it. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Braxton’s soul.

Virgil Vivi Bradford is at the foot of the bed as usual. Breathing, Existing, Sleeping.

Inspector, in doing that, he’s keeping me out of trouble. Zone-Tan, Adore Me and MILFS?

I told you earlier today in Meditation 205 ~B Nights, See Virgil~ I’ve been reading Ryan and His Beauties 2, which, simply put, is about Ryan and the newcomers to his growing “family,” the Milf Jody and her daughter Olivia. For Braxton’s sake, can I keep it in my pants? However, as I said, Braxton’s passed away. Virgil’s snoring away. But what about some two-legged kids? Uh, with who? M Anime? Valentine’s Day, Dear Inspector.

Regrettably, I’ve been unable to focus on my Lost Boy today, Inspector. Or on the idea that he’ll have siblings, I’ll tell about his life one day. ‘Well, my left hand’s free,’ I say, but it’s a crude joke. Where is the man I was when I was mourning Braxton?

Hell! Where is my money? This is my son B III, whom we’re talking about; this is his fourth year of being gone. Birthdays, Christmases, and the day he passed away, so 12 gifts, Inspector?

And where do I send those gifts? How do I afford said gifts when I’m too busy looking up Dakimakura, things to show off M Anime’s assets, and more books? What would Braxton even want? To be alive. V wants back in this room. Relax, Inspector, it ain’t even like that. You can only sleep for so long. And since V’s bathroom training is subpar…

He’s a good dog looking for a friend. Braxton’s a dead one looking for his Daddy. Who and where am I? Virgil On B’s Whereabouts

1459 Days Without B III, Day 900 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will