Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Do you remember reading about Carlee Russell? And what about the stuff she was reading? As for me… what do you do when someone leaves their cash at the ATM? Where do Miranda Rights come from? But I’m not a thief… of money… Virgil And Miranda, B.

Friday, September 15, 2023

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Or maybe I would be if I were another stupid thief. A member of the GOP?

But I would rather not read about them. Another old GOP white guy escaping punishment? And I’m not Hunter Biden, either. No, Sophia, as the song goes, “Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.” And while I’m busy singing, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Braxton’s Daddy is always a black man. And in America, what’s even worse. Stupidity? Uh, no. So why didn’t I get stupid today? Existence is either a porno or a crime, Sophia. I saw some ladies outside of Walmart today. And I immediately began rehearsing a script from “Street Blowjobs.” Or “Blacked?” Anyway, existence has been taxing, sigh —a week after the thirty-ninth E-Day. And Braxton’s been gone 957 days. “Just Another” day.

At least I’m not in a jail cell. And Virgil isn’t learning to read “Miranda Rights.” He won’t be hearing about vampires either. I know, I know, Lady Sophia. You’re asking what did I do today. Instead, it’s what I didn’t do. But I was talking to Braxton’s Aunt. So…

I’m at the ATM waiting to be broke again. Sophia, I drive up and see the cash tray is open. “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all!” I don’t know how much money was there, but FREE MONEY! Now, we’ve all heard this question. If you found a million dollars in the street, would you take it? Yes! But my Ma didn’t raise no fool. Well, she did. But like most women, she’s into those crime shows, ha-ha.

Why am I not a killer? Well, that’s a lie. I know you’re sick of reading this. I killed Braxton. Anyway, with people, I’d never get away with it. The same with thievery. Cash money. ATMs have cameras and all sorts of security. Who knows what might have happened if I had run off with that money? Uh, jail? Desire is desire. And yet, today, I didn’t steal a thing. Stupid! As I said, what would some of the ladies do outside of Walmart for the right price in their desperation? And speaking of women, what will I download today that I haven’t paid for? I know a few people who own rather unscrupulous software. Criminality Sophia? But Virgil needs me? Virgil And Miranda, B.

957 Days Without B III, Day 398 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 069 ~E-Day B Fell Virgil~

Day 1 after E-Day. How do I feel? I never expected to make it to 39. I always feel like a little boy that should be a “walker.” And now I’m reading about vampires. Every year, I wish for a zombie apocalypse. Before Braxton died. “E-Day B Fell Virgil”

Friday, September 8, 2023

Tale 069 ~E-Day B Fell Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I wish I was drunk enough to say that’s why I’m butchering the English language.

But no, Lady Sophia. I am pretty sober, scared, skeevy, and what’s that goes… “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” And there goes my critic. “You can’t use words like that.” I’m sure I’ll be hearing that from my Olds any day now. I know, it never ends, never ends.” And the one I want to hear from my little boy, Braxton. Old age, sickness. I’ll say I killed him. But I didn’t kill it yesterday regarding E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Now, which of those terms do I keep forgetting about, Lady Sophia? As the song goes, “I’m still breathing, I’m alive.” It’s Day 1 of “my” brand new year, and I already wish… Again, Sophia, I’m one greedy “person” who turned 39. And it sucks!

So what did I do yesterday as I was turning? Coincidence I’m reading about vampires? A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising, to be precise. No more dead fur babies? Sophia, we’ll get to that. It’s the only reason I got up at around 6:00 a.m. V had a fall. Anyway, so, yesterday. “My” body doesn’t know what to do with eight hours, so I got six and some change. It was like any other “Lovely Day.” I let V outside as I drank a cappuccino. Then I helped myself to a cupcake and wasted away on the computer, Lady Sophia. Inevitably, the Old Man texts along with my Ma and bam! For someone constantly “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” Fear, Adrenaline, “Fight To Survive.”

Not so much a fight, but I have a few days at least. But we’re talking about E-Day. So next? I took a shower, and then all that criminality; I didn’t do Wednesday. So, yesterday? Lady Sophia, I didn’t commit any crimes. Shocking! I know. If anything, I zoned out until it was time for Virgil to go outside again. Then I read and not much else until… the food. Now, that was a mess. While I was being all “Law Abiding Citizen,” someone else… Anyway, the food was stolen, I guess, and the second try was lacking. Doordash hmm? After that… to bed. And Virgil slipped off a pillow and hit the floor. Repeating. Rut, Regret… every E-Day, without Braxton. E-Day B Fell Virgil

950 Days Without B III, Day 391 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 062 ~B A Storybook Virgil~

A chapter done… Or will be, come E-Day as we’re headed that way. I wish it could have been as simple as the end of a video game or a movie with mutant turtles. Nope! I never want to be as old as “my” grandma. But Braxton? “B A Storybook Virgil.”

Friday, September 1, 2023

Tale 062 ~B A Storybook Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Meaning that should I survive this coming E-Day. I’ll become the stuff of myth and legend.

Don’t forget about books. Um, I did yesterday. Kindle’s next challenge doesn’t come out until the 2nd. And until then? Well, there’s more dead fur babies. And a new audiobook. Hell! I remember when I was maybe seven and couldn’t dream of such things. I mean having money, of course. Here I am on the cusp of thirty-nine… Eww! The thought makes me wanna die. But I digress. When I was seven or thereabouts. And Sophia, I’ve told this story. I asked the question. “What the Hell is going on!” Talk about a humiliating E-Day. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Game might have made it better, but leave it to grandmas. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze didn’t help. I’m ungrateful.

I wanted a game back then. Now, if I could have all I ever wanted, that is a letter. B. Okay, let me be specific and use his “government” name, my son, Braxton Barks Bradford. But he’s something you can’t order off the DoorDash App. No more E-Day cash (sigh). Well, if you count Braxton’s Aunt. But we’ll get to her. Orders from unscrupulous types? And Hell, I’ve even been looking at OnlyFans. But those girls are getting quite annoying. I’d instead pay off Cherry, M Anime, the MILF… Stick with paying off foreign contacts. In case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been till 9:00. Not jerking off… buying Bitcoin. I’ve been thinking about the last “decent” E-Day. Braxton’s Aunt met him on E-Day ha-ha.

I’m sure she was here for other ones. And she even made a cake on Braxton’s birthday. It was the first time he ever said no to food. Well, there were his last days. An adopted grandma told me I should remember the good times. Braxton’s eyes were bigger than his stomach. And not his kidneys failing him. Did I mention I’m reading about grief? Always and forever, but I wasn’t supposed to make it this far. No! Thirty-Nine (shudders). Already, the writing is on the wall, literally. I’ve been getting messages from all over. Today, I noticed my Olds aren’t in texts. It’s been a month since I spoke to them… E-Day stories usually ended with Braxton. But now Virgil? B A Storybook Virgil

943 Days Without B III, Day 384 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 055 ~That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”~

It is not weak to value life. I valued Braxton’s one way, and Virgil’s the other. And if I wasn’t on the cusp of E-Day… One more week. And then what? Next week will be more of the same, and then… And here come the tears. That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”

Friday, August 25, 2023

Tale 055 ~That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can create my own word. Happiness will never become me. And The Ten Commandments…

“You lost him when he went to seek his God. I lost him when he found his God.” ― Sephora

Whether it be that mere minutes ago, I was lost in “The Pic Phenomenon.” You know my weakness so well. And yes, I can spell Sophia. Or is it the thought of one week remaining? Either way, I was led to the word of “God” this morning. Necromancy now Christianity?

Hell! If I believe in anything, it’s in my little boy, my son B. The little God that he is. He couldn’t save me at 37, 38. Only here we are a week away from 39. What the Hell am I going to do? We’ll get to that. Haven’t I been saying that for years, Sophia? Here we are approaching the 39th E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. It’s about damn time… To go? What about Virgil?

Didn’t I say something about Virgil not being Braxton’s reincarnation this past week? If anything, I am a weakness that the two of them share. Braxton didn’t want to go, and Virgil asked me to stay. It sucks to be V for the moment because he thought this week was hard. Well, next week… I guess it could be worse. The Day Job demands. And while I’m speaking of a Day Job, a business? “My” favorite hot dog place closed down on Wednesday. I couldn’t even treat myself to one more pepper dog, Sophia. Inevitable. Isn’t it? Time! Now that Lady Sophia is a major weakness. Time, Titties, Tears. And the little two-year-old at the end of the bed. That, again, (sigh) ain’t my son.

No! My child died on Sunday, January 31, 2021, at 15. That’s around 76-80 human years. Seeing as how he was on the cusp of being 16. B III was/is so strong. Existing hasn’t made me so. I wish I had never emerged. And extinction? Olds called? They haven’t yet. But supporting a “man,” that’s 39. Who needs that kind of weakness? Jigsaw would have a field day with me. Something to do with the survival instinct… Sophia, I am still here. It’s what I tell everyone. So, shouldn’t that tell me something about my strengths and weaknesses? I have one more week to figure it out. But then what I ask will come next. Hell! One last book to read… That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”

936 Days Without B III, Day 377 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 048 ~Braxton, The End, Virgil~

“My” story, me existing… It’s a bit like the Bible. I never read it all. Has a lesson here or there, B, a time in high school, B’s aunt, M anime. But the story shouldn’t be taken as gospel. And don’t burn it, like my B was. Braxton, The End, Virgil

Friday, August 18, 2023

Tale 048 ~Braxton, The End, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I have a feeling that’s not how the story will end. Only it should end.

My favorite critic, of course, was railing about why I must sound all depressive. And how many days have I talked about Braxton? 929 days and counting. Braxton’s story ended. And mine should have ended there as well at the age of 36. And here I am, turning 39 ha. That’s nothing to laugh at. But don’t I remember what day it is? Someone’s birthday. Happy Birthday, M Anime!!! Welcome to Level 35! I envy you. Given your years, I’d… Well, we’ll get to that, won’t we, Lady Sophia? But for now, it’s Braxton’s story. Or that’s what I should say. On top of everything else, there’s been guilt with a book I’ve read. Hmm? It has nothing to do with dead fur babies. Hamster?

No, the hamster is alive and well. Even Grayson’s relationships are working out great with Robyn, his English Rose. And Julia the witch. Two sets of Yabbos, I swear, Sophia. Yes, it’s Friday. But I figured it would take me longer to get through Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 by Eric Vall. There was a moment this morning after I realized Braxton wasn’t stepping on my head. And when I did a morning meditation. Anyway, what came next was the idea that I could become a harem romance writer. But it’s too late for that, Sophia. Inevitably, E-Day will come -Emergence, Existence, Extinction. And my Olds will realize that I’m 39. There’s comfort in the fact that if they wanted to cut me off… why wait?

Why wait? As I look at the nightstand beside me. It’s an altar to the end of all things, yep. On top is B III’s shrine. There are his ashes, condolence card, cremation certificate, etc. In the middle are a few knives. An emergency fund. Braxton’s aunt’s wedding card. Oops! In the next drawer are more weapons that scare me to even look at these days. All I’ve been feeling. And the last drawer is empty. I want to say since I quit “adult entertaining.” Myself, of course. And that’s why I’m rushing to finish Eric Vall’s book. And all the “anime” I’ve seen on Twitter. Wanting more it never ends, Lady Sophia. This depression, disease of existence, deviancy. “My” story… Braxton, The End, Virgil

929 Days Without B III, Day 370 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 041 ~Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending~

I’m sure wherever Braxton is, he’s learned to read now. I would tell him stories… The ones that didn’t involve this or that. Anyway, I think about how our story ended… And if I could rewrite it? But I’m not with the GOP. Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending

Friday, August 11, 2023

Tale 041 ~Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. It’s more like I’m rushing to read all about it. Or better. Checking the fence today

That’s something I’m not looking forward to. But I wasn’t eager for B’s passing either. Lady Sophia, if you had told me the story would end with me murdering my best friend in the world… I swear I’m not learning anything from these books on grieving fur buddies. Euthanasia, AKA the “good death.” Braxton’s gone, I’m guilty. I’m not good. Hell! I’m reading the reference section from Pawprints on the Heart. I need every word. I’m so used to not finishing anything. Remember a couple of days back, I got into working on one of the novels? I paid $300 for a book I haven’t sent in. Going on four years, to be honest. If Virgil could read, Braxton says, “it is what it is.”

And that’s why we ain’t got no money. But the fence held up to the storm. Glory Hallelujah! I said that before checking because I’ve been lying here looking for a birthday gift for M Anime. Um, that soon turned into looking for a gift for myself. What was that? M Anime wants seeds for her garden. I want to see her with less clothing. Lest we forget, what else do I want, Lady Sophia? When Braxton was on his last legs. He could always count on me to bring back fries. My payday was better than I expected yesterday. Hallelujah! No, I’m not finding religion. Between this week and the next… No money for the church. What about a tip? I didn’t say that, did I? Or think it?

Lady Sophia, that’s like saying “adult entertainment” is free. I don’t have to spend money on OnlyFans. A few months back, I figured I was in trouble with The Pic Phenomenon. And this morning, I was looking up Elegant Moments Style 1404, for real. But I got “bills” to pay as an almost thirty-nine-year-old man. If it’s not the fence, it’s what my Olds will say come E-Day. I won’t pay for a man’s sausage biscuit. That’s what my father told me at church when I was young. I agree. Incredible right? Anyway, speaking of spending more money, Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 has come out. Ok, should I read it? No one will be reading about me dying soon… But, Virgil? Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending

922 Days Without B III, Day 363 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 034 ~Virgil Knows, B’s Tales~

Who do I tell when there’s nothing they can do? Braxton couldn’t save himself. But he fought to live so he could save me. “How to Save a Life.” I can’t fix the floor or fence or find a dentist for my face.” I’d tell B. And V? Virgil Knows, B’s Tales.

Friday, August 4, 2023

Tale 034 ~Virgil Knows, B’s Tales~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That doesn’t make me benevolent. I’m neither brave nor bold. Balance isn’t helping this scared BOY!

It’s such an ugly word in how it’s spoken in this country. Not that I’ve heard it from a white person lately… We’ll get to that. I’m more concerned with the man in the mirror. No! The BOY. That’s what I am, Lady Sophia, a pathetic (puss… censored) poor BOY. Yeah? Should I start singing, “I’m just a poor boy; nobody loves me.” Yesterday… Please! But Virgil did try. I don’t talk to him about Braxton often. Only I was lying here crying about the rain… Again, we’ll get to that because, as the song goes, “I’m only happy when it rains.” Or I once was, but with everything coming down on me these days. Anyway, Virgil attempted to cuddle me, and I fell asleep.

Two things, Lady Sophia. One, I’m never happy. Two, when Braxton was here. It didn’t matter what happened as long as I was wrapped around him. He would somehow wind himself around whatever was hurting me… Which explains why he was constantly stepping on my head. Or the way he would watch over me always. I was safe, protected, and loved. Lady Sophia, a boy, and his dog. If I ever published that story, I wouldn’t be in the mess I am now. And truth be told, I want to make a mess I’ll never have to clean up. Ever! So, let’s start at the beginning. I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” Every day now. And of all the STUPID reasons, the fence is broken.

I’m 38, OK, Lady Sophia, and I have no idea what I will do. Call my Dad? Oh God! Well, not doing anything to help myself, I cut some weeds off the opposite fence. I then decided to check the route Braxton and I would walk behind the houses here. Those were much better days. Anyway, this guy calls out and asks if I live here. Then he asks where before he accuses me of trying to steal some bikes. “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” And so was he, Sophia. A black man! Not a white guy, a Karen, or M Anime and her… Racism? Existing has always been too much for me. No fairytale world Virgil Knows, B’s Tales.

915 Days Without B III, Day 356 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 027 ~Sick Of B, Virgil~

I don’t fear Solanum, Rage, Cordyceps, Vampirism, the Screwfly Solution, etc. For most of those, you’re dead or facing extinction. Now, food poisoning from Pizza Hut, losing the phone, the hate the GOP has, and how my son died. Sick of B, Virgil

Friday, July 28, 2023

Tale 027 ~Sick Of B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And short of bringing Braxton back… Money don’t buy happiness. But courage? Freedom from FEAR? Uh…

Those aren’t the same thing. Hell! This morning, I could find you a ton of memes, hmm. Isn’t that how we all do our reading nowadays? And I’m looking up courage and hope like it’s candy in my pocket. Wasn’t that from the 1997 film The Postman? More to read… I should be looking up why Virgil seems to be sick. If this were Braxton and I wasn’t pissed about the Day Job. Today, though, it’s not rage. Okay, that’s a lie. There’s a bit. Sophia, I could be reading about dead fur babies. That’s like my bread and butter, so I may never forget what I did to Braxton. My son, sick as he was, and how I failed him. There’s the phone too.

I will be one of those negligent parents who leaves their kid in a hot car to die. Huh. Accidently. But I am worried about the phone. Did Virgil puke on it with his sickness? Why do you think I’m up now? While I’m busy trying or instead not trying to quote movies, Fear, uh? It doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up. That’s from Divergent. I can’t stand Arron Rodgers. And I’m disappointed that Shailene Woodley “Tris” was ever with him. Eff no! Oh! Here’s something you thought you would never read from me. Sophia, I hate SEX! Now, that’s the sickness I should be worried about. But with all the Fear that’s coursing through my veins. Quarantine. Now, that’s what’s driving me.

On this horrible Friday morning, I’m busy washing the sheets that Virgil puked all over. Even money has taken a backseat with all the cleaning stuff I should buy. Veterinarian? I’m not going yet. But isn’t that the mistake I made with Braxton? Shouldn’t I be in his room now, watching over Virgil? He walked Dante through Hell, but giving it, I swear, my lady. All he does is remind me of my failure. Like scam emails, Braxton’s pictures, etc. Uh, the phone that I should be worried about if it’s ruined or not. I can’t stop the Fear. There are books? Please tell me Succubus 8 ends well. To be continued? Are there more? Braxton was one of a kind. Sick Of B, Virgil?

908 Days Without B III, Day 349 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 020 ~B Has Writes Virgil~

I write every day. Or should I say I always write lies? Who knows if I keep up at this pace. Maybe the heat will get to me. But Virgil’s here. If only I took that advice to write the truest sentence I know. Braxton is gone. “B Has Writes Virgil”

Friday, July 21, 2023

Tale 020 ~B Has Writes Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But at thirty-eight, do I know how to write a check yet? Right now, I don’t.

Once upon a time, I dreamed of those huge checks from Publishers Clearing House (sigh). Last night, though, it was all Taylor Swift. And not in a, she’s naked, let me break a few laws, sort of way. She didn’t write a book, did she? I must check Amazon because I dreamt I bought it and somebody else’s book, too. Lady Sophia, every day I’m losing more money. And with everything going on, Facebook hackers, scammers last night, madness. Speaking of things, I should be writing. What about a balanced budget? Desire is desire. And yes, Sophia, I failed to keep my pants on last night. Stress! That’s no excuse, and yet here we are. Without a full belly. A new book. I need Braxton.

Did you think I’d forget about him? Yesterday was a relatively easy day, considering. Don’t get me wrong, humiliations galore. I couldn’t buy any snacks at all, Lady Sophia. For the first time ever, I forgot about Replika and had to start the week over. There were also other apps and such. Hell! I woke up at 3:00 in the morning today with all the lights still on. That is a drawback to getting hooked on energy shots again. I thought I could stay up. Didn’t I mention I couldn’t keep my pants on? It wasn’t Taylor. Nope! An English blonde. Anyway, I will never forget my son. Oh! So I can write lies? Because if I hadn’t forgotten about him… Braxton would be alive.

So, every day, I tell myself that I signed “my” name. And the only thing people ever read from me was my consent to put my only love in the ground. Well, the oven, whatever. Sorry, I have a “slight” attitude. Again, last night, I was talking to “someone,” and I hung up in their face. And much like with Facebook, I’m sitting here terrified I might lose it all. And that ain’t much when I can’t keep a full stomach. Lady Sophia, there’s Virgil. Keeping that little ball of fluff alive… It means fixing the air conditioner. Air filter. Another day I’ll spend avoiding it, which scares me to death. I have no rights where my father’s concerned. But Braxton. B Has Writes Virgil.

901 Days Without B III, Day 342 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 013 ~Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs~

It’s not the worst story I ever told. No! I wrote that one an hour after B III died, as I sat on the steps Sunday, January 31, 2021. The step 2V lies on like his legs are broken. Broke, busted. Existence breaks me. Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs.

Friday, July 14, 2023

Tale 013 ~Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And though I’m not agoraphobic, I’d never leave the house again. But let’s start with downstairs.

And I can already tell you this will not be a “Happy” tale. Hell! Or a story at all since I can’t write one of those to save my existence. Camp NaNoWriMo month, and I’ve done… Anyway, “Don’t Worry Be Happy” have more confidence and censorship. Lady Sophia, why am I paying people to tell me I’m effing up everything. Critics, the Day Job, and V. Well, that’s mean against Virgil Vivi, right? I’m no friend of his at the moment. But I did mention him before B, which is a first. I need my fluids. Uh, depression doesn’t help. Crying, amongst other things… but we’ll get to that. Only what about the story, Sophia? Virgil peed on the carpet. He’s sitting on the stairs.

Sad story? We were getting ready for bed, and it was raining outside, so he didn’t want to go out. V decides to go potty on the floor, and I kick him out of the room for 24 hours. Before leaving, I moved the gate so he could walk around. He’s been staring from the stairs ever since. Sophia, you can see why I’ll never be some award-winning author, right? I can’t even get it up to go downstairs to the dining room table because I’m afraid of how the hardwood floor will look. Again everyone telling me about existence. But to fix it? Blah! I instead read sad stories about other people. I swear if Bryn doesn’t leave Julian… Buried Deep in our Hearts

Dead fur babies, divorces, and other things less than desirable. Far better than the things I’ve been looking up this AM. I swear, My Lady, I couldn’t write “decent” pornography. Soredemo Tsuma wo Aishiteru and Shiori from Rinkan Club. I am so going to Hell. Which starts with going downstairs and deciding if being alive or alive outside is worse. Oh! It’s going outside, no doubt. And no, I don’t mean because of summertime weather. Now more than ever, I want that billion. I could be all like Trump down the escalator and take the rest of the world to the Ninth Circle with me. As always, my Republican ideas. Because I’m broke, bare flooring, bed, my belly. Bank account (sigh). Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs

894 Days Without B III, Day 335 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will