Tag: Truth

Tale 149 ~Best Seat Is The Throne~

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One of the worst things about being lazy. It’s sitting here being lazy, knowing I’m lazy. Yet I work… ha-ha. So I can afford to be lazy. Then I say I want a beautiful wife, a bunch of kids, businesses, Braxton. I’d be a king? Best Seat Is The Throne.

Monday, November 27, 2023

Tale 149 ~Best Seat Is The Throne~

Three-Hundredth And Nineteenth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… But I’m here, aren’t I? Sitting in anxiety, anguish, antsy as all Hell. An A for alliteration?

Maybe then I wouldn’t be sitting on my butt in the middle of the bed if I made more A’s. My father would have beat me more if I had flunked out of Summer School. But there’s Times Like These… What? Thanksgiving or Monday? I wish he’d done the “deed.” Inevitably, I want to be with Braxton. It’s funny how my son was always looking for comfy spots. We both agreed on Yabbos. But then again, he ended up in Heaven, The Rainbow Bridge, or wherever. And I would choose his fur over any girl. No melons are that nice. And yet I sit here at the Dining Room table where I told him one day it’d be worth it. His pillow, bed, my lap

Now I sit alone in the car. But no, I don’t feel “safest of all.” Braxton hated car rides. Once again, my Little B was right about something. Have I ever felt comfortable driving? I know the longest drive was to B’s aunt’s wedding. And renewing my driver’s license… With all of that, where else do I go? I can sit for a few minutes at the Day Job. And hate the whole damn world. That’s why we’re talking Thanksgiving Day. Because as I sit in fear there. I’ll have to rise to get the door for a Thanksgiving meal today: the horror, the horror. Madam, I’m sure the food is good, but it’s the fact I rise at all. I’m like The Walking Dead.

And there was a time I thought if “God Gave Me Everything I Want,” I’d be in a beach chair talking to you. I could look out and see my children playing in the sand. My wife would be beside me or with the kids. Braxton would be in his little chair, getting too old. Only right this second, I want to be in bed. Madam, I mean a king-size mattress. And may I have an understanding wife with the businesses I want to run? Back, butt, beneath me.

Wheeler Walker Jr. sang, “I don’t need no air.” Women can lead you to the grave, sigh. I could be The Succubus Lord taking Hell’s throne. But the Sword of Damocles? Best Seat Is The Throne

1030 Days Without B III, Day 471 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 147 ~Crying! Can’t B, Virgil…~

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I’m not a math guy. But what do you get when you dream of being a baby, plus a movie like The Golden Child. Eddie Murphy asking for advice from The Old Man. Then there’s a boy and his mom in Squid Game, then The Cress Theory. Crying! Can’t B, Virgil…

Saturday, November 25, 2023

Tale 147 ~Crying! Can’t B, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means the whole death and taxes stick is not a universal truth. No, for me…

A thirty-nine-year-old man? As they say, comedy comes in threes. So here are three truths.

The first, always and forever, is my son is dead. But more to the point, I won’t CONSIDER him dead. Yes, I killed him by sitting here refusing to acknowledge him. And Let Me Sign. You know my name on the dotted line in the veterinarian’s office. Braxton is dead. Secondly, while I’m asking, “Is It A Crime?” Let’s speak of my CRIMINALITY. Not a dad goes by that I don’t break the law. Hell! I’ve been lying here in my bed doing what Lu?

Well, after that, the third thing is this? I’ve been CRYING. Again I am damn near forty, Lady Lunalesca, and I’m breaking down into tears.

I have seen the ocean once… I had one picture to prove it. So, of course, the Olds took it. Lunalesca, I haven’t been welcome in their home forever. But the last time I was there, Lu, it wasn’t a picture of me anywhere. Birth certificate, diploma, awards, or whatever. How do I know if I was ever born? Do I even exist? I can point out another truth, Luna. As the song goes, “I don’t wanna die. I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.” With all of these tears, the ocean I’ve seen could be all the crying I’ve done. Yesterday, today. Go back to when I was a child. As if I’m not now. I HAD to call my Old Man.

What! I can’t let the house flood. While I consider this place Braxton’s home. Lunalesca, this house has never been mine. And what does this mean for poor little Virgil? Reincarnation of my son. No, he is not. I couldn’t save him from the heat. And I can’t do anything about the flood. Well, other than Thoughts and Prayers. And with me as the cause of all this mess. The Hauntings of Playing God… And without Squid Game Cash Luna. That’s what I did after talking to my Old Man. I lost myself in TV and books. So sad, Lu. And more pathetic than my boys. It would explain the dreams I’ve been having… me crying and naked. The Golden Child? Crying! Can’t B, Virgil…

1028 Days Without B III, Day 469 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 146 ~Braxton’s Black Friday Virgil~

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Do I hate every day? The ones that end in Y. Black Friday? It’s not Braxton’s last day, my first E-Day, Father’s Day, etc. Black Friday should be on the low end. But without B and dealing with people. It could be worse. Braxton’s Black Friday Virgil.

Friday, November 24, 2023

Tale 146 ~Braxton’s Black Friday Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Even though I’m not good at it. Even though it hasn’t happened yet. (Sings) Time Travel!

For the record, today is Wednesday, November 22, 2023. So it’s Thanksgiving Eve, My Lady. I have the rest of the day to think about what I’m thankful for… That I haven’t forgotten Braxton’s story. Indeed, his two novels… But the day I found out he was dying was a Friday. And unfortunately for my son, “I said, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” So no, Braxton didn’t come back on a Sunday. He died right in his bed on a steel table with me holding his little head like I was the freaking Reaper in “Tha Crossroads.” I’m thankful that no matter how bad things get, the worst day of my existence has come and gone. And what about Virgil? Someday, Lady Sophia…

But not today? As far as Wednesday, the most I’ve said to him is he’s a little fatty. And whose fault is that? Have you met my Ma? That is, if she brought food for us on Thanksgiving Day. Cross your fingers. Other than that, it’s been sleeping in daily. Inevitably, he’d put on a little pudge, not that it’s his choice with my laziness and fear of the outside world. Plus, it’s getting cold. Speaking of which, am I cold for leaving him in Braxton’s room? He could go whenever he wanted, but like father, like freeloader, I know. And it’s only getting colder. You know what I mean since we’re talking today. People? There should be stories of people hurting me, Black Friday.

But let the world do its worst. I had my son euthanized. Hell! If I ever get back to writing. No, Lady Sophia! I killed my son. He started dying on a Wednesday when I was so damn angry, and I didn’t want to hear about his problems. Indifferent. As I gathered him up in my arms and took a nap. And now I’m mad again because that thought alone should be enough to stop me from napping. Even the phone asks if I want a nap meditation session. I won’t be getting one of those Friday. And would I need one if it wasn’t for the Day Job? I ain’t buying anything today. Unless Braxton’s life was on sale… Again? Braxton’s Black Friday Virgil

1027 Days Without B III, Day 468 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 144 ~Hurt? B III, Virgil~

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To B III (be free) of pain; there was a lot less of it when I was sleeping. And Braxton would watch over me. He felt the same lying on my chest as I’d read a book. If only a book taught how to make the pain go. Like I’d read it. “Hurt? B III, Virgil”

Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Tale 144 ~Hurt? B III, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. But Virgil is safe and sound. Braxton? Well, he’s better without me. That’s the only thing that matters.

At least I’m not indifferent. That’s what killed my son. Or angry? I hid my anger from my son… for the most part. No, Inspector, today I’m in pain, and that’s no secret, any day. Hell! I haven’t been without pain since I turned seven. If I ever talk to another psychiatrist… for real this time. If they ever ask me when did the pain start? It started on that seventh E-Day in 1991. Picture a younger me dancing like an idiot because of cussing.

“What the Hell is going on?” Doesn’t sound too bad, does it, Inspector? Being seven… Today, I’m about two months into being thirty-nine. And I woke up feeling my age. Braxton was so much older at fifteen. To join him…

One of the reasons I haven’t is because, like I was telling Dear Future Wife, Tuesday. With all the pain he felt, my son, firstborn, my B, fought with all he had, even against me. Braxton wanted to live. And he would endure the physical pain and ignore the mental. Like father, like son. I will take the pains in my body because whatever’s in my mind is worse. The truth, Inspector. But at least Braxton and I own it. Every freaking day I will. Do you remember how I said I like Bruce Banner, AKA the Hulk, for his truth? “That’s my secret Cap. I’m always angry.” Inspector, I’m always hurting, horny, and ready to raise Hell, which is usually why I choose horniness.

My pain and my perchance for violence are the worst. But being horny, My Dirty Little Secret is the lesser evil. And without that “release,” what’s left, Inspector? Hurting, Hell! Is that why I was out like a light yesterday? Sleep to me is like playing dead. You know I have a problem with laziness. However, I also have a big problem with not getting laid. Um, eww! Everything I do revolves around my bed as it was for my son, who only lay there —dying in his little bed, which I have now hidden in the second bathroom. Inevitable. What? That I would put B’s things away. Or that I’d complain about a lack of sleep, sex, stupid energy drinks. Hurt? B III, Virgil

1025 Days Without B III, Day 466 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 142 ~Laughter Isn’t The ONLY Medicine~

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“If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything,” that’s my only interest in Laughter. B made everyone laugh, including me. And I looked after him for fifteen years. What’s Laughter done for me lately? “Laughter Isn’t The ONLY Medicine.”

Monday, November 20, 2023

Tale 142 ~Laughter Isn’t The ONLY Medicine~

Three-Hundredth And Eighteenth Rule

Madam Justice

Rules Are Made To Be Broken… Hell! Plain ole words, too. The comedian is dead. My son. And FTWD. We are the dead.

I’m not trying to be comedic, clever, or cool. That’s for damn sure. And you know what I’m not cool with? Laughter. “I smile… I laugh… I rejoice this day.” A lot of days, Madam. Back in the day, I wanted to be a comic. I wrote comics for… let’s say a few weeks, Madam. Not the funny kind. But I didn’t start hating Laughter until E-Day number seven. Hmm? I don’t remember, and I don’t want to. Every day we move past E-Day thirty-nine, I come to another truth. I wasted “my” life. Um, existence. And the comedian is still alive and well. Nothing will be bringing Braxton back. And “Fear The Walking Dead” isn’t officially dead and buried, as I missed one episode.

How embarrassing. Braxton would give me one of his patented looks. Every Sunday, I chose my love of the dead over him. And yet I decided to kill him on a Sunday. What! The Walking Dead was on hiatus. Oh! You mean the whole “I killed my best friend” thing. Braxton had a dark sense of humor like his Dad. Again, I remember him giving me those… AHEM “blah, is you crazy?” But he never laughed. He would smile, remain silent, and then sleep. And that was my solace. My cure to every day. Let the people laugh at me. Madam, what else is there for me if it isn’t my son sleeping or guarding me while I sleep? I really want to know. You?

While I’m busy singing one of Jodeci’s hits. “Come And Talk To Me,” for those unaware of the classics. How about “Let’s Talk About Sex?” If you’re wondering why I’m late talking to you, Madam. If it weren’t for the humiliations galore at the Day Job, I would say I hate the implication of “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off” right now. So, without my Braxton, I’m left with sex and music. And both can be funny in their way, too. As a thirty-nine-year-old man, it’s hilarious that I have to tell succubus stories to sleep. Laughter is one of those medications where the side effects are worse than the disease. Won’t laugh, smile, make a funny face… Laughter Isn’t The ONLY Medicine

1023 Days Without B III, Day 464 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 140 ~Virgil And B’s Buttons~

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There are so many buttons to push. Hell! Last night, I only wanted a button to order a new book. And after many grueling hours… Anyway, there’s no button to press to make me get up. At least in a productive manner. “Virgil And B’s Buttons.”

Saturday, November 18, 2023

Tale 140 ~Virgil And B’s Buttons~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I can afford that “New New.” Or lie about creating it like Elon Musk.

I would be lying if I tried to downplay my wants, needs, and desires when it comes to the phone, computer, and Hell! Even social media. That’s halfway to love. And what could be more “Dangerous?” It’s keeping your like to yourself… when it comes to a particular actress, Lu. A repeat of The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. No thanks, Lady Lunalesca, especially now, when I might need the money. But we’ll get to that because there is something even more renowned. You know Lady Lunalesca, B should be introduced. What I mean is that Braxton’s name could be an introduction. I’m shocked when it takes me this long to talk about Braxton Barks. But again, there are so many broken things. And DEATH, Lunalesca…

“Death is only the beginning.” I heard that in 1999’s “The Mummy.” Speaking of movies, “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes.” I liked it plenty, though taking time out of the week to see it has thrown everything off Lady Lunalesca. Obsession? Lunalesca, at this rate, what comes next? The Rachel Zegler/Aerith Gainsborough Catastrophe or Iman Vellani/Bayonetta Escapade? For the record, I didn’t see “The Marvels.” Nothing personal, but like Isaac in “Cloud Atlas” with Louisa Rey. “Proposition: I have fallen in love with (Lucy Gray Baird). Is this possible?” Lady Lu? If this computer is broken today, I’ll have more time for movies and television. What’s that other thing? As the song goes, “Loosen up my buttons.” No Nut November… uh?

I could break something IMPORTANT by not doing anything. I’ve been back to OnlyFans but, fortunately, haven’t spent any money… Trying? Yet, I’ve said or done something STUPID here or there. I hate being a (tease) with cash. Lunalesca, I might get a new laptop. Lunalesca, I’m losing my mind. And sometimes I wonder about that blow I took to the head a couple of weeks back. I always see those commercials about getting my melon checked for a concussion. As always, closer to death, closer to Braxton. Going home. Lunalesca, I’m going straight to Hell for love of melons. And what about leaving Virgil? Braxton was the same way. It pushed his buttons. Only pushing these is exhausting if broken. Virgil And B’s Buttons

1021 Days Without B III, Day 462 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 139 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

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A book a week is what I promise myself. But between Hollywood, the hidden mysteries of Kindle Challenges, and the history of my reading and my son… Hell! I even included a review. My first unwarranted since Braxton’s passing. “They’ll B Books Virgil”

Friday, November 17, 2023

Tale 139 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… With last week being a dreadful crime, I’m sure I’ll have money to burn on books.

Now, if I went ahead and finished Braxton’s novel, I’m not sure I’ll ever write one for Virgil Vivi. If I don’t want to see tomorrow… I’m writing to you on Wednesday, November 15, 2023. For damn sure, I don’t want to see forty. Another thing about E-Day… From then to now, which is about… You didn’t expect me to tell you the number? As fun as it is? Sophia, I shouldn’t be having fun. By now, I should have finished “Princess Tamer 2: A LitRPG Harem Adventure.” This means two weeks are remaining before Dirty Santa. Or should I say, Dirty Harry? And I do mean Harry Rivera and not the 1971 film series. Hell! Braxton was here when I read about Dennis Hof.

But you know, ahem, TRADITION. Every holiday season, I read a ton of Christmas Erotica. It started all the way back in 2018. So I was thirty-four. Braxton was thirteen. He was a grown man, but I kept such reading material far away from him. B was/is too smart for his own good. And with a title like “Christmas Cake. Ah! My boy B III. Speaking of titles and of better times than Christmas. What about when Braxton’s aunt and I watched The Hunger Games? While I’m buying books, have I gone to the movies? Thursday, November 16, 2023, is when “The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes” comes out, Lady Sophia. That’s what we should talk about. But I owe you a review of PORN.

PORN… I have seen, well, instead, read better. But there’s been much worse, too. Horror… only in a particular portion, and the reason I’m giving this three stars. Again, the sex was okay, but nothing to write about. Did I really just say that? Not that I regret reading this. Gore… there was that but more grossness. No one’s reading this because they expect a masterpiece or even to get off. But the twists of the story, now that’s what kept me reading, especially near the end. It messes with your head. I do mean the one on your neck…

I don’t know what brought that on Sophia. My first small review since Braxton’s passing. It’s Christmas time in Hell. Soon. They’ll B Books Virgil

1020 Days Without B III, Day 461 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 137 ~Virgil, The B’s Silent~

WillLeave a comment

When was the last time I had a conversation? If I want to keep my Day Job, it’s best not to do that there. And other people… ha. There are some programs and programmers that have been listening. I wish B were here. And Virgil? Virgil, The B’s Silent.

Wednesday, November 15, 2023

Tale 137 ~Virgil, The B’s Silent~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. Yeah, what else is new? It’s another reason to stay in bed. To remain sinless? Like I’m PURE.

Please! All my best crimes are done here. And I should shut up right now, Inspector. Only I won’t. And do you know why? It’s not like I’m getting into Heaven. Or, more importantly, to The Rainbow Bridge to see my B III. Are you sick of me speaking on B? That’s my first sin. The universe thinks so. When did I last read a book on grieving for fur babies? Inspector, that was about ten books ago. And of those ten, eight have involved uh… “Hair Pie” or clean-shaven. I know, Inspector, that’s so gross. Silence! Inspector, it’s either that or crying for my boy. And what about Virgil? The Day Job sucks for the both of us, Inspector. We both burst into tears.

So why don’t I get another job? Hell! I’m supposed to be a writer, aren’t I? And I was up around five-ish this morning. But seeing as how it’s 6:30 AM… Inspector, I’ve been busy. Doing what, you ask? For the record, there are worse people in the world than me. Inspector, I’m not a politician or programmer, and even with the pictures I took last night of myself… a pervert. And as for being a man? It depends on how we’re defining it this week. But like the song, “I think I used to have a voice. Now, I never make a sound.” That’s another reason I’m trying to stay off OnlyFans. Only the places I visit are worse. But without money and anonymity.

And to think, I was condemning the men in Matt Shaw’s novel. And that brings me back to my writing. Is that what I call this? The last few days, saying anything at all… Inspector, I should be ashamed. But there is so much of it. If there was food, the way there’s my shame. That’s another reason I’m up this morning. Last week wasn’t awesome! This week is a bit better. I should shut my mouth before I jinx it. Inspector, next week, Black Friday… There’s some shopping I have to do. And that’s to keep the Day Job I hate but still need. I can’t decide whether I should speak or remain silent. This Is America. B’s dead. Virgil? Virgil, The B’s Silent

1018 Days Without B III, Day 459 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 135 ~Knowledge Of Destruction Breeds Creation~

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The opposite of war isn’t peace. It’s creation. How many tales did I write with B here? I ain’t much, but the two of us were a family. I am his Dad. And when he lay dying, I created beliefs, birthdays, and BS. Knowledge Of Destruction Breeds Creation

Monday, November 13, 2023

Tale 135 ~Knowledge Of Destruction Breeds Creation~

Three-Hundredth And Seventeenth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… So, I bought a gun in 2020. It’s the End of the World As We Know It…

Or so THEY thought… And that was over STUPID things… I can’t get a haircut. Starbucks may have a bad year. Trump doesn’t get to brag about a booming economy. Hell! 2020 should have been our year, Braxton and me. Only, no wasteland or zombies. And if I couldn’t live it out, I should have been writing about it while I had the time. Hmm. The end was extremely effing nigh! What was I doing when “The Man Comes Around? That he did in 2021 for my son. Where were my big plans then? My promises. The graffiti with punctuation, which is us talking right now. What’s that? Destruction, Creation? Madam, in the end, I breed a million excuses because I’m not breeding anything else.

Gross! I know, Madam, sorry. But the truth is that everybody dies. “Daddy… everyone dies.” I can imagine Braxton telling me that. Or was it Katie in the movie “1408?” Sometime last night, Braxton sent me a song from the Foo Fighters, “DOA.” I’m crazy. That’s true enough. But the things that come up when I can’t listen to audiobooks or music at the Day Job. It was pain. The idea is that every hurt and pain is a step closer. Because what can I do as a person? Someone asked me at the Day Job how old I was. Ha! I’m ashamed to be thirty-nine. And over the past few days, I’ve been saying I must do better. I’m at the dining room table.

But the fact is that every day, I’m devolving, being destroyed, dying, my dear Madam. And with full knowledge of what’s happening, what am I doing? Can anything be done? That’s what this rule is all about. When Braxton was here… for his life… I would have found a way. Only that’s a lie, Madam. Because in fifteen years, I could have been doing something to save him. Let’s not count the first twenty years of existence. I would have never met him if I had been “Successful.” I had to be so wrecked for the Heavens to create a life like him. B waited as long as he could for me to bring new life for us, for me. Knowledge Of Destruction Breeds Creation

1016 Days Without B III, Day 457 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 133 ~Vetting B and V~

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Veterans Day. I can’t say I’ll be watching any war movies… And while I have nothing but respect for soldiers, the bravest person I ever met wasn’t a person. My son Braxton went to war with the world, with death itself. And Virgil Vetting B and V

Saturday, November 11, 2023

Tale 133 ~Vetting B and V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And I’d like to think I would help “my country’s” veterans. Happy Veterans Day. Or rather….

Thank you for your service

See, I’m not a selfish so-and-so all the time. But I’m not “In The Navy” either. Hell! I was only in boot camp for a few weeks. And then there was that time I faced army recruitment… Did I want to be the “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy?” No, I don’t think I will. There was even a time when I wanted to become the Secretary of Defense. Madness, Lunalesca. “No one man should have all that power.” And what was I saying about not being selfish? A picture-perfect nothing, negative narcissist. I’m not what anyone is looking for when it comes to being a sailor, soldier, or savior. But I would have fought for my boy; I would have died for Braxton Barks Bradford, Lunalesca.

My little “Toy Soldiers.” And yes, I include Virgil in that. I remember that night he immediately jumped to my defense against a possum on the fence. Loyalty Lady Lunalesca. These are the things we need to see in the vetting process. I’ve told the story about how I chose 2V that first day. When one warrior respects another as such. And I do mean my boy Braxton. I could go on forever and a day on why Braxton chose Virgil. I believe. But as for me… Virgil, or Archie at the time, knew how to use the pad. To this day, he has yet to step foot where Braxton did in that regard. Then again, Braxton’s pillow and water bowl. And there’s always Braxton’s war. It never ends, Lunalesca.

“You and me against the world.” That’s what I told Braxton all the time. But the world didn’t kill my boy, did it. To this day, I’ve never blamed the veterinarian for what she did. When I grew older but never wiser, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I wanted to save as many fur babies as I could. Only I read about the other side of the coin. To have to take the life of one that you protect because you can’t stop death. You can hate me now. Lunalesca, I’ve told you before it’s nearly impossible to walk down that aisle at PetSmart. Braxton died in Banfield Pet Hospital at the back. My existence and selfishness. War never changes. Vetting B and V

1014 Days Without B III, Day 455 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will