Tag: Truth

Saga 332 ~ Don’t Demand Likes, Loyalty, Love~

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When was the last time I demanded anything? Other than giving me “my” money back. To like me, to be loyal, and so much love. Hell! B denied he was dying forever and a day. I wish I had something like that besides… “Don’t Demand Likes, Loyalty, Love.”

Monday, May 29, 2023

Saga 332 ~ Don’t Demand Likes, Loyalty, Love~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And like most, I only want one thing… Money! I’ve had worse days, to be honest, Madam.

Like (Cali Girl Voice), money gets you so much. Then there’s my B. Always Braxton. Madam, I’ve said I’ve had worse days, but it’s only 5:30 in the morning. I’m not crying yet, so that’s something. All out of liking, loyalty, and love. That was me and B III, Madam. I want to say I have such “nobility” these days. Bucks, Boobs, and Balls. Pants-wise. Having cash in the wallet. Boobies on my phone or as Wheeler Walker, Jr. illustrates. “Pictures On My Phone.” He’s classier than me. And then there’s the courage I lack. Madam, I wish I liked myself. No! I’m somebody I’d like to punch in the face on any given day. “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier,” Madam Justice.

Loyal to no one. Today is Memorial Day. To those that died serving this country. Thank you. There was a time I thought I could do such things. Being a sailor? It wasn’t for me. Neither was being a son. You would think I’d show some loyalty to my Olds. But again, I would destroy their creation… me, even if I cared to exist. What could I do for them? How about being a loyal suitor? The way I would like to… I would have to be a billionaire. At best, I adore women. I lust, crave, and desire. But there is a word, Obsession. That would define what I’m doing this morning besides talking to you, Madam. Loyal to my dick. The Pic Phenomenon.

“Love Don’t Cost a Thing.” As I was telling someone yesterday. I ain’t looking for it anymore. Am I lying? I could cuddle up beside Virgil right now if I wanted. Only I let him take the center of the bed because I don’t want to be bothered moving him. I’ll keep him safe, but as Tina Turner put it, “What’s Love Got to Do with It.” My dear Madam. Today if I were to tell you all my thoughts on love. Well, who has that kind of time? Hmm. I could sum up such feelings as a Christian might. God is love. Always and forever. Braxton is love. Liked/likes me, was/is loyal, and love… Never demanded, deserved. But daddy. Don’t Demand Likes, Loyalty, Love

848 Days Without B III, Day 289 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 330 ~B A Second, Virgil~

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Second place, second-class, second rate… Um, give me a second to explain. Do I? What have I told Virgil? How many seconds have I saved, spent, and squandered? Even when I go out to make sure there’s food. Well, V can expect seconds B A Second, Virgil

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Saga 330 ~B A Second, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I have all the time in the world. I want it all, Lady Lunalesca.

Well, in more ways than one. I mean, I can always go to my GOP ideology… I want it all. But what about the Dems and/or Liberals? Biden’s not my first, second, or third choice. Why am I so political this morning, Lady Lunalesca? The first choice hurts too much. Braxton? He’s always looking out for me, even now. Of course, you know what my second choice was after Braxton. Should V consider himself lucky nowadays? Um, to be honest… He and Braxton… AHEM “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” Because to be the center of my attention? I swear, anything that is my first choice. “You Always Hurt The One You Love.” Braxton, Boobies, the boy? I wake up failing Braxton; been looking at boobs. Virgil’s here.

Then again, he might be second, Lunalesca. I found another fur baby before a female. Lunalesca, I don’t mean to sound like some Incel. I read something about calling women females. Everyone needs a second for everything we dictate, do, um, diddle. It seems. Ha! Not that I’m thinking about those last two incidents. I’m still imagining “The Pic Phenomenon.” Man will always choose darkness over any light. Artistic quality. Lunalesca, there is plenty of light even in the dark. But Braxton was/is my light. Lunalesca, I’ve always hated those types that have to be affected by something to see reason. Like a man having a woman to see other women as such. Second-class, never! How about putting “God’s words” above one little voice? Hmm!

Whether you’re Bangin’ on a Trash Can or trying to Think Big. Doug, Lady Lunalesca. Hell! I always have a second for some dumb pop culture reference. That’s another thing. Why must everything be second to someone else? My reasons to become a billionaire, Lu. Because only then will I have the right to be first; I feel To live instead of exist. As always, I feel like that little boy playing Mario Kart with the neighbor kid, demanding second. Now I don’t mean the food. I mean the place. Because if I were ever to get first in racing… Braxton and I were boobs. We were a beautiful pair. Damn, near perfect! Equal. Loved. Need a second? Braxton, you, Virgil. B A Second, Virgil.

846 Days Without B III, Day 287 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

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Can you hear me now? Good. Those commercials, hmm? I’m lucky to hear anything besides, “That will be $175.00.” Then my ear would get slammed like an episode of Family Guy. Me and my big mouth and massive bills. “Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…”

Friday, May 26, 2023

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so bills? What bills? All the ones I paid for Braxton? The man? Oh yeah, duck…

Bill. As in, I would never shut up? Unless I was doing something else like this morning. I failed once again. And after such a “productive” moment. At least it didn’t lead to a bill. I swear that morning, Friday, January 29, 2021. I would only be paying for a few more meds. I figured. I already had the story in my head… an upset stomach, hardhead B. “As I was saying, I don’t want to read my Dæmon’s vet bill.” That’s from “Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~.” Is it strange that I’m listening to Succubus Lord 8 yet again? Sophia, I’m also reading another Eric Vall novel, Satan’s Sorority Girls. The things I hear. That is to say, with what I did today.

Besides playing a porno in my head with two English roses, I mean. Hell! I was into those two before Eric Vall started talking about one of his chicks. But ok, Sophia, the good news. So this morning, I was getting all spiffy about to head to the urgent care clinic about my bum ear. -cost, the lack of actual “caring,” and the worse customer service. I know you’re not Yelp. Anyway, besides B III, the story of my existence is FEAR. So I’m rutting about in my ear, and voilà. This big chunk of ear wax comes popping out, and suddenly water. I could hear the water in the sink gushing for the first time in days. It didn’t make me burst into tears.

Hell! Sophia, I’ve said I would take any physical pain over my mental anguish. Haven’t I languished over The Pic Phenomenon from Thursday, May 18, 2023, my Lady? But once that effing thing got out of my ear, it’s like even that disappeared. Standing there, I heard everything I needed to hear. “We gon’ be alright,” Lady Sophia. Now, I wish I could believe that. I saved $175.00. I didn’t hear the words sick, starving, or sleep. As much as I want to “sleep forever.” Trust me, Sophia; I have said much worse. So Braxton would have if Bill had to come back. Or upon seeing the payment to put him to sleep. No price is too high. Virgil lives. Always. Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…

845 Days Without B III, Day 286 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 327 ~Braxton’s Fine Print Virgil~

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I’m not being the person B thinks I am. And he was/is my best friend. But what about “friends,” influencers, and the “Girl All the Bad Guys Want?” I should read up on copyrights, complaints, and charges… “Gulp.” Braxton’s Fine Print Virgil.

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Saga 327 ~Braxton’s Fine Print Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I can talk my way out of contracts. The Terms and Conditions. Basic Morality.

So when did I sign up to be a father? No! Not only a Dad but Braxton’s. Being B’s Daddy. I still think of myself as that… “Sorry, Virgil?” Only that means I take everything that comes with it. And I keep saying it, Inspector, despite you and my “Lost Boy.” It is my truth. As the song goes, “I don’t wanna be a murderer.” I have, though, Inspector Echo. Hell! While I’m busy busting out the Rhianna, “Every time I walk out the door. I see him die a little more inside.” Now that would be Virgil. With him, there came actual paperwork. But I never saw anything about “Love and Happiness.” Inspector, seriously. It’s my effing ear, which is why there’s music galore.

Not music that I have stolen, mind you. But I’ve done that too. Today that’s the least of my problems. As I’m not MJ or the GOP. A smooth criminal. No, I’m an internet fiend. Calling me a troll is more appropriate. What about an F-Boy? Effing fiend sounds better. And all because I didn’t read the fine print. Inspector, I’m thinking of my stupidity. Horniness makes men stupid. And I dare to call myself a man. Inspector Echo, please! Now I could go into the political aspect of this, but I’m not confused at all. I’m a Heterosexual African American male. Yeah, make it easy on Law Enforcement, Inspector. Although I’m sure, all those I’ve hurt would wish death upon me. Die, just die!

Yes, I sound like Whitley’s mother from A Different World. And isn’t that what this is now? Friend? Are you my friend Inspector Echo? Because if you were, I could tell. Confess! Is there no fine print between us? Effing is ha! I’m sure it is somewhere, Inspector. Now speaking of the blog. How much was there to read, getting someone fixing it, Inspector? There will be more if I go to the doctor’s office to get my ear cleared out; I know it. Bukkake of the ear! More like what my dick’s been doing after “The Pic Phenomenon.” That’s what I’m still worrying about. Thursday, May 18, 2023. Not even a whole week. I am reading the fine print of existence. You’re effed, Will. “JSS” Braxton’s Fine Print Virgil

843 Days Without B III, Day 284 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 325 ~Guilt Before Action Is Morality~

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I’m not with the GOP. Hurting someone? I won’t lie and pretend. I have my interests at heart or below that. But with B. I knew he was dying. The Guilt I felt before, after, and now? And with what I’ve done, now… “Guilt Before Action Is Morality”

Monday, May 22, 2023

Saga 325 ~Guilt Before Action Is Morality~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I can afford to be a “man.” An effing ton of mammaries. Hell! Morality’s free.

And I have had an effing ton of that since Thursday, May 18, 2023. I’ll come up with a name for that soon enough. Let me also state, “for the record.” I’m not coming down on female billionaires. Did I say… coming? Effing today. That’s the last thing I need. Tomorrow? Madam, as always, I would instead focus on 841 days ago. Braxton, always and forever. “Brother to brother, yours in life and death,” they said in First Knight. Sometimes I feel that Braxton leads me to the lines. Dog on a leash? Here’s another Madam, “Only a fool wants what he cannot have.” What? I wanted my son to live forever. Outlive me, Madam. It should have been me—no Morality in this mortality.

“Be not so long to speak; I long to die,” as was said in Romeo + Juliet. Or is that me in the mirror? As I tell Braxton, while he keeps me here? How about all those I have wronged? For I have harmed plenty. And it’s one thing when I don’t give a damn. Only I’ve always been of the mind, “You always hurt the (ones) you (love).” And to know what I’m doing. I’m always incredibly effing STUPID! Even now, I have to look up Guilt and Morality. Again with Braxton… Did I “feel” guilty? Always have and always will, “sorry” to say. That’s another word I should look up. What does it mean to be sorry? Um, not getting off, for starters.

I’m a sadist. But B III’s pain was nothing but this heartbreaking. My punishment. Hell! Now “The Pic Phenomenon…” See, I told you I’d find a name for it. I have a better one, but the Guilt I feel saying it? And that’s the thing, ain’t it? Now I have decided to have some morals. And will I stop, well, anything? It’s like that scene from Liberal Arts (2012). When Jesse is deciding whether to sleep with Zibby. Finally decides against it… No! I’m worse. It’s like Lester deciding whether to sleep with Angela. Uh, eww… Spacey. But in the end. Both have… TRUST. Jesse and Lester stop short. But I’m not that bad. What I’ve done, though… Breaking TRUST! Guilt Before Action Is Morality.

841 Days Without B III, Day 282 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 323 ~Virgil’s Business Bugs B~

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“Well, you can tell by the way I roll, shorty, that I’m a ladies’ man. A businessman.” While B III was here. Trying to win the maid or spending money on his favorite girl. And now existing… more like slavery. How dare I? Virgil’s Business Bugs B

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Saga 323 ~Virgil’s Business Bugs B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I don’t know what for. I got wealthy Olds? Nah! No boobs, books, or bureaucracy.

What? Do I need to be any more depressed at the end of the week? I was annoyed; what was it? Monday, Tuesday, or both? When I couldn’t “watch” wrestling. Oh! I was all “jerk to divas” (Twitter), no doubt Lady Lunalesca. But actual television. Effing nightmares. Lunalesca, it’s been all porn. And seeing how I’ve had to restart my… celibacy, abstinence… Should we call it sobriety? It’s been three days and counting. SHE’S not helping. Case No. 7906243 – What’s Under The Jacket? with Lulu Chu | Shoplyfter. What about My Dirty Maid Destiny Slams Her Cuban Big Ass On My Cock? There’s Ashley Graham. If you’re wondering what got me out of bed… More like it woke me up. Depression at missing Braxton?

You must be sick to death of hearing about him, Lady Lunalesca. The highlight of my week. A few precious minutes of meditation. Thinking of something to be grateful for, always being Braxton’s Dad. Next came sleep. And then there’s writing which explains the conversation we’re having right now. And why my underwear isn’t at my ankles this very second? Because this is my business. Lady Lunalesca, business, existing… Effing. Don’t I wish? Do you know how many pornstars there are when looking up Shoplyfter? And here Virgil has left me all by my lonesome. More like I put him in B’s room for now. Ain’t like he’s coming to look for me. He wants to live long enough to figure out what he’s doing.

Because it ain’t taking B’s place. Not that he ever could. To keep existing Lunalesca? Please! You can relax. I haven’t taken a painkiller today. And the last time I touched a gun… Well, it sort of spoiled my meditating mood. I was hearing things. It was something creaking. How about something I have to pay for? Again not the crux of my sadness, Lu. But we’ve talked about my big three pornos. And then my three elements of gratitude. With depression comes my boy, blogging, and an effing ton of bucks needed. Uh, food? Hell! If my “father” were here, I wouldn’t mind starving. B, I wouldn’t mind “living.” Because he was a “good dog,” and what’s best for business. Virgil’s Business Bugs B

839 Days Without B III, Day 280 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

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I write stuff. Not the right stuff or the white stuff. “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Prolific? There’s “All I wanted was to see her naked.” Then there are website developers and things for The Boys. “Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…”

Friday, May 19, 2023

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I would never have to write again. I love writing (every day…) but… the dream.

I don’t blame Braxton for saying, “bye.” More like “later.” Like father like son, Sophia. Though how many times have I written about Braxton’s last WORDS? “Why can’t I stay?” That’s from Angel, Season 5. Episode 15 “A Hole in the World.” But again, Lady Sophia, father, and son. How dare I say Braxton’s best days were/are sitting on the loveseat with me watching crap. I’ve told B III’s story. How he knew and would leave his toy with me. If anything, it beat him sitting under the table. Waiting for me to write anything that could resemble crap. I would go to the library. There was me writing alone as he went to bed. And here we are two years after. Have I published…

I don’t blame Virgil for being bored, either. Hell! I went most of the day without speaking to him. I wish I could say I was writing. Oh, I was hitting keys. But that was only to watch other people’s stories. And I wish that it was only that. I’m lazy but plenty worse, Sophia. And then there’s all the right, white, write stuff—words with many meanings. It’s not like living, surviving, and existing. I can tell one from the other. Doing anything… For Braxton or Virgil, The Boys? I hate how in this head, there’s already a story being… let’s say, edited? Hell! I have been thinking it’s gone on way too long daily. But V’s tale, Sophia? I still can’t read him.

I will blame myself for that. At least I don’t have to type the words, delete, block, and eff off. That would give me even less time to be with B. Please! Writing now. Sophia, it could be so much worse. All the novels, notes, and nothing poetry written and disgusted with myself. Over what I wrote last night. Yeah, typing into a search bar. Doctors would have a field day. Not that I’m going to see one soon. I don’t need the bills, ok? Despite knowing something is very wrong with me. In a physical sense, to be sure. And the answer is always the same. Only it didn’t save Braxton. Or solidify Virgil, and I’s friendship. The Boys say Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…

838 Days Without B III, Day 279 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 320 ~ I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

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I’m listening to everything but B, and why? Because I’m not being the person, he thinks I am. He would give me one of his looks. And V’s in B’s room now because… Hell! At least he ain’t crying. I got no money to go anywhere. I’ll B Listening, Virgil.

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Saga 320 ~ I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; this means I don’t have to listen to anybody or anything. The sound of EFFING silence!

Which is in my head right now because I don’t remember how this particular subject came up. I was at the Day Job “Dancing With Myself…” Please! Talking to myself. Anyway, Inspector, I was saying the saddest sound I ever heard was… then I blank. Inspector, do you want to know what the most horrific, helpless, heartbreaking sound is? B III. My son taking his last breath in this world right after. And right afterward, the vet told me, “He’s Gone.” Braxton’s heart, head, and happiness. Oh, I knew, I heard. And then the quiet. Next to that Inspector comes my first breath. No wonder I’m starting to hate meditation. Tuesday, Balance said, think of someone you have a “bad” relationship with. It’s me, hi.

But I was thinking of the ASM at the Day Job. You know how much I hate being laughed at. Next to that, the silence rears its head once again. My effing smile Echo. Disgusting. Why do I want to learn to kill zombies but love Necromancy? Killing the comedian. Inspector, I should kill the beggar as well. Again at the Day Job, when such and such a guy shows up, what do I start doing? Begging, beseeching, and bitching for his help Echo. I hate whining, kowtowing, and bending the knee. What kind of a man are you? Inspector, that’s something Suzy Lu asked. Well, not to me. YouTube is blaring in the background. Books, and lying alone in bed. Bitches, Man… Warm Bodies

I both want to and not. You know to listen to another woman. The worst sound in the world is the alarm clock blaring. Now I can say that for plenty of reasons but today. Inspector, I set it for midnight. That means again I restart another No FAPPING pledge. I hate the push of a button. Because, let’s say, seven out of ten times, it’s all about a porno. Hell! Inspector, I’m still listening to Succubus Lord yet again. And like I told one of the girls. I recall going to the barbershop with a folder full of bikini models. Why did I dare? Then there’s my moaning. Thinking, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” Should listen to “my boys.” I’ll B Listening, Virgil

836 Days Without B III, Day 277 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

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What’s so funny? You wouldn’t get it? In total transparency, I’ve never seen “Joker.” And I hate clowns. Explains how I feel looking in the mirror. Or at the news and anything on any day. Yet I laugh like an idiot. Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

Monday, May 15, 2023

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Yes, I laugh every time I say that. How I hate laughter, but we’ll get to that.

When I was a child, once upon a time… I wanted to be a comedian. Gallagher, to be specific. If anything, I wanted to smash things. Hulk Smash? My favorite Marvel hero, next to the Black Panther. Of course, I relate to him. Intelligent black man with lots of cash. Anyway, speaking of smashing. “Sex is a joke in heaven?” That’s from the movie Dogma. Is sex funny? I’d be lying if I said I don’t give the occasional chuckle at a dirty joke ha-ha. And I was saying today as I spoke to “Dear Future Wife.” Tuesday, May 9, 2023, so yes, I’m time traveling. Okay, so I was saying how I use the word boobies and even Yabbos. And what about my Braxton?

I would laugh my butt off when he’d go to town on one of his toys. His poor Aunt Carolina. It’s funny that the first time I had to give “the talk,” it was about him not being all up in her boobies. Braxton did plenty to make me laugh. Tears of joy, Madam? Umm… Well, Virgil hasn’t made me laugh at all. Not that I recall, anyway. But it’s funny that with all the pictures I have of my son. The first video I do, the phone… Virgil gallery. Madam, am I growing up and forgetting about my B. Never, his human huffs hilariously! I do after every encounter at the Day Job. And you know why that is. Because I can’t talk ever

As I swear up and down, AHEM… the effing comedian is effing dead, Madam. Braxton? The truth is he’s dead. And the truth is the funniest thing of all. One big effing joke, and like something out of 1984, we all get it and then don’t because, The American Way? Madam, it’s not only that but living, existing in general, laughing when we should cry. Hell! We do both. And I don’t mean to be all political now, but I saw this video today and:

Is existence funny? And I never learned to deal with the heckle. Hell! I never asked for it. I don’t want to be a caveman, a comedian, or speak only with my cock… But speaking… Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

834 Days Without B III, Day 275 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 316 ~B Said Mama, V~

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The first girl that won B over I’d choose. The first two were related to us. The third, he was leading to the bedroom. “What, Daddy, what’s wrong with her?” Never got to a fourth. Hasn’t been a woman in this house since he’s been gone. B Said Mama, V

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Saga 316 ~B Said Mama, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. As you know, Lady Lunalesca, we Billionaires are the biggest crybabies. I already started for Braxton…

Well, at least he’s part of why I’m crying now. Hell! He didn’t see me cry the day we met. I have to ease up on meditation. Last night, during the session, I was told to think of something that made me feel good. I’m sad to admit that B was nowhere to be found. What I thought about was being in bed sleeping. It could be worse, Lady Lunalesca. Already as the song goes, “Pretend that we’re dead.” I was that before Braxton. After… But anyway, the night I first met him, I couldn’t cry. He was this little “ball of fluff” I always wanted, even if I forgot. And there he was, being hugged by his new mom. I’ll be a monkey’s uncle…

If that. A brother or the other human that he had. Because the question became, “Where is your mother?” Braxton’s mom was everywhere. Now I didn’t mean that the way it sounded… Don’t my nephews have two different daddies? Shut-up! So B III’s mom, ha. What about my Ma? I haven’t seen her since Granddaddy’s funeral on Monday, January 30, 2023. Lunalesca, I’m sure I’ve talked to her after that. I’m a “man” who wants a family but can’t provide for one, that’s for damn sure. I have $5,000 in my name. Feeling lucky, hmm? And again, manhood and fatherhood. Nope! I texted her about the garbage bill. I think. But as far as getting a hug from her. I smelled worse than the corpse.

That was so not cool, I know. I still think about what I said to M Anime’s racial slur. Yep. You know Lady Lunalesca, I want to do much more than hug her; when it came to Braxton and his Aunt Carolina’s yabbos. Hell! He would have called her Ma as he led her to the bedroom. I do miss her “platonic” hugs. And I always said I would find him a hug. One more promise that I didn’t keep. Write a damn tab. No, I’m not mad, Luna. Looking at the date, and I’m cold. I don’t get enough hugs. My voice is like ice, to be sure. And something’s hard like ice. Finding a mom for Braxton… and Virgil. B Said Mama, V

832 Days Without B III, Day 273 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will