Saga 168 ~ Virgil’s Library To B~

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How to, like the song, “Lift me up, hold me down, keep me close, safe and sound.” I put my son in a book, two unpublished. Not like all the books I’ve read this year. All the records. And 2V now sitting in B’s room for 125 Days. Virgil’s Library To B

Friday, December 16, 2022

Saga 168 ~ Virgil’s Library To B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m always angry. Or is it scared, maybe tired? Is it horny? A murderer?

All the billionaires on Twitter? I would be in damned good company. Except I take responsibility for “All These Things That I’ve Done.” I didn’t want my son to die. Murdered. That’s the story I’ll keep telling myself. Hell! Everything else seems to pale in comparison. And no, that’s not a dig at Virgil. The truth? Virgil isn’t Braxton reincarnated. I should get back into reading books on dogs. I began “The Christmas Rescue” yesterday. The ways words have of pissing me off, Lady Sophia. These words, these words, these words, they have power. I know I sound um STUPID but take this under consideration. I read The Christmas Wife while Braxton was here. 2021 “The Christmas Nanny.” Now “The Christmas Boss,” “The Christmas Rescue.”

While I’m busy digging up this library and my son’s past, I should also mention… other family. It’s my Ma’s birthday today; no, I don’t know how old she is. Sophia, I can’t even say that I went to get her a gift this year. And no, I didn’t forget (sigh). I’m sick of reading about how broke I’m getting with every passing day. And the possible answer is on all these pages. Or, at the very least, read more and stare at titties less. Is reading about them any better? Last night, I found myself getting pissed even more. First, I blame Elizabeth Kelly. Again I read one of her books with Braxton around. One after. Two with Virgil. Somehow it seems somewhat fitting…

I had a 526 Daily Streak from September 16, 2020, to February 23, 2022. Fucking Kindle ruined it. Anyway, my point is Braxton is between the lines. He’s everywhere, Sophia. Even when I’m sitting here, hot as all Hell from day one of NO FAP again and angry for ruining a seven-day streak. I can imagine B III cuddled up with his Aunt’s boobs today. He died as I had finished reading Succubus Lord 7. And yet I wonder why I listen to the Succubus Lord series again and again. Though the tenth one is my favorite, to be honest. I read The Enchanter after Succubus Lord 7. Thinking of seeing Cherry’s Yabbos for real. So many books, and where’s Virgil? Virgil’s Library To B

684 Days Without B III, Day 125 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 167 ~Virgil, B Not Proud~

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I on what my grandma said about “my pride.” What do I know about that? If anything, I am proud of my son. Eff my pride to keep him safe… What’s ironic is losing pride in existence, about everything, Day Job, etc. Got him killed. “Virgil, B Not Proud”

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Saga 167 ~Virgil, B Not Proud~

683 Days Without B III, Day 124 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? With how I feel right now… And on the understanding “He Lives In You.” You

Well, I feel like shit. And so I’m sorry, B. Yesterday and today haven’t been my proudest moments. As if I have many of those to talk about. I did finish reading another book, B. That’s if you need me to be proud of something. Today though, I’m pretty disgusted. Here I am, gorging on tacos, and I don’t do soft tacos well. You’d usually cuddle me, B III, especially if I were only sick of the Day Job and my Humiliations Galore in that place. As if you need to be reminded of my hate for the place that garnered my indifference towards you. Besides my cowardice and lack of balls. I’d spilled them over… not Reagan Kathryn, Cherry, or Mandy Rose… Jennifer Lawrence

A solid week down the drain and probably TMI for you, Triple B. You remember getting all X-rated with your toys and over your Aunt’s Boobs. Our conversation before, Braxton. I’m sure Virgil wishes I would get his name right. Or maybe he doesn’t even care anymore. As I was leaving today, there was no barking or crying. He went face-first into your food dish. While I was sharing nacho fries with him, he nearly took some fingers. I should be training him. But, of course, he’s hiding out in your room. There’s no gate and no lock. Virgil’s free to come out and play, but he doesn’t. I can’t blame him. And yeah, I’m not going there to get him, either. Just In Case

What! I want to jerk off again… I swear, sometimes I “prayed” you’d do something so that I could lock you in your room for a while. B, when you look at me now from wherever… You’re in a book that I’m doing absolutely nothing with. I meant to take a nap this afternoon, but there was a fear I had to contend with. Oh, there were more books to buy B. All the money in the world for titles, titties, and Times Like These makes me disgusting. Only you never looked at me like that, B III. And 2V doesn’t look at me at all. Not really. Then again, he’s not my son, and I for sure ain’t his Dad. But am I trying, Braxton? Virgil, B Not Proud

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 166 ~We B Ballin Virgil~

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Neither Virgil nor I am having a ball. He’s hiding in B’s Room, and I’m under the covers. I’m trying to forget my cowardice because of someone at the Day Job. But I found my balls when it comes to MandySacs or OnlyFans. “We B Ballin Virgil”

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

Saga 166 ~We B Ballin Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But the last thing I would ever build is a basketball court. Wrestling ring, porn studio…

Every day we’ll get there, ok. But first, Echo, I must apologize to my son. I am sorry, B III. I am sorry I did not see to your needs. That I killed you. And I’m never who you think. Oh, to be a man of courage, Inspector. No heart. A soul I’d sell gladly. And like V, no balls. Debatable right? Well, with everything that happened at the Day Job, I don’t think so. But let’s see. First, I didn’t keep my mouth shut and joined in the conversation with these two bastards. Then I let this bitch invade my personal space, which would have been enough but oh no. I let her put words in my mouth and then laugh at me. Fuck!

Don’t I sound like some dickhead Incel? Inspector, if anything, I want to see myself as sympathetic. Inspector, one of the conversations I joined. It was about offensive nail polish names. When I came back to the house, I started reading up on what happened to Mandy Rose in NXT. While I’m a Roxanne Perez fan… as I said, we’ll get there. I was sad when I read what happened to Mandy. I’m pretty tempted to join her MandySacs FanTime. Speaking of the “promise” of titties, what about OnlyFans? If you’re wondering why we’re talking so late. This one woman offered to sext and send ten videos and pics, Echo. I was so fucking ready. Oh, look who found balls because they are turning blue.

7 days Inspector E; a week, and I’ve survived. Will I make it the rest of the day? Do you think? I’m an addict. Not as bad as Lazlow from GTA V, but let’s say it’s more than a hobby. And speaking of addiction, what about a daily energy drink? Well, that’s most people, but I’m staying up half the night and in the morning… Again we’re talking now, Inspector. With all of this, what about Virgil? Well, he’s in Braxton’s Room for a reason. Braxton’s Aunt got a JSS tattoo, “Just Survive Somehow.” Me? I’m all Fear The Walking Dead JIC “Just In Case.” Yeah, I found my balls because I can’t in this game called life. Neither can Virgil. We B Ballin Virgil

682 Days Without B III, Day 123 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 165 ~B Leave It V~

WillLeave a comment

Do you believe in life after love? I’m still here. Oh, won’t you stay with me? More songs I can rip off? Believe it. As I believe my son is out there. I don’t believe in God. I believe in B. As far as women? Like B and his “aunt’s boob.” B Leave It V

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Saga 165 ~B Leave It V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I once believed that $300 would solve all my problems. Took more burying my son.

Well, you know what I mean. I’m always thinking about B III, even with time travel. Tuesday marks 681 days, my love. And “I Still Believe,” I took out a hit on my own kid, B III. I had him cremated and put into a box I have only ever opened once. It rests on the nightstand. At least, that’s one thing that has remained constant with me. My love for him. And you? I don’t know how you stand me; I’m getting to be like Braxton’s bed. I had to wash my hoody and, of course, the sheets. If it helps, I can’t remember when I threw out the last can of his food. I’m sure I talked about it. But his bed, bowl, his last bag of Cesar…

“V, leave it!” It’s one of the few times I can remember his name. Virgil Vivi Bradford aka 2V aka V. I’m not ready to leave Braxton Barks Bradford. My firstborn; let him go. But is it worse that I’m not ready to love again? I mean, not with our kids. I poured the Bisquick, so you and I have had plenty of pancakes. I love B like pancakes, but then there’s Virgil once again. I’m starting to count the days without my saying, feeling, and living with love. “Another Day,” I keep telling myself, “Give into love or live in fear,” right? Only I fear that the man you long for will never return. Braxton lived his last second loving me. His last look?

And while there will always be a part of me that says you’ll one day get sick of me, love. Yeah, like that part that said B III would live forever. That Virgil’s his reincarnation. Somehow I believe I’m worse… Didn’t think I could be after Braxton. But here I am, hurting you. Only it’s not with some needle. As it began with Braxton… Indifference. Perhaps that’s what Braxton is telling me these days. But I feel plenty, my love. I keep saying, “I love you.” Do I show it? As safe as Braxton’s bed. My dog tag, pendant. Everything I’ve read this year about fur babies says leaving the pain doesn’t mean losing the love. But I Want It All! B Leave It V

681 Days Without B III, Day 122 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 164 ~Dream Big Enough To Wake~

WillLeave a comment

Champagne wishes and caviar dreams? Nope. Last night I dreamt of candy, pizza, and a breakfast sampler platter (yeah, Succubus Lord). It got as far as steak and sushi. Now, as the song goes, “the dreams in which I’m dying….” Dream Big Enough To Wake.

Monday, December 12, 2022

Saga 164 ~Dream Big Enough To Wake~

Two-Hundred and Seventieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, but nine times out of ten, you wouldn’t know it by looking at me. Peaches & Cream, more like hoodies and jeans.

If anything, when I dream of the future, well, consider last night. Simplistic. That’s if I want to be nice about it because all I was dreaming about, Madam, was “I Want Candy.” Strawberry and Blue Raspberry, to be specific. Hell! I can walk to the mini-mart. Even before I went to bed, it was all about pizza. I need to stop listening to Succubus Lord every day. If it’s not the “people” porn we get to, it’s the food porn that comes along with those books. I’ve gone from pizza to steak, a breakfast platter, and sushi. A man and his stomach. But it beats getting up because of nature’s call. Or the nightmare that awaits me most days

I call it a Day Job. If my alarm had gone off for that… But no, I only got up to jerk off or rather edge. And that was after letting 2V answer nature’s call. If you’re asking why I’m so late talking to you. If anything, I want to go back to sleep as usual. To live the dream… 680 days now. My vision remains the same. That B III is alive and well. I want my son back. Do you remember when I’d dream he would have all the room to run in the world? Or that he would be on a beach playing with his two-legged siblings. I see him, my Braxton the grey or the white. Too old for this shit

Ironic that my boy dreamed of staying with me, and when I dream now, I want to follow him and never wake up. Another reason that while Virgil is not Braxton. B III sent Virgil? Honestly, he’s plenty white, ha-ha. A ghost in this house? Joining the club, right, Madam. And then there’s what I say every day. This little ball of fluff is pushing me out of bed every day. Hell! Sometimes I’m mad enough to move him but does anger beat indifference? Emotions that are big enough to wake me. But not one is ever for good. Morning wood inspires me to find someone. Reminding me of what I once dreamed. Having a family. That’s a big dream. Dream Big Enough To Wake

680 Days Without B III, Day 121 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 163 ~To B Buds Virgil~

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Has it really been 120 days or about 4 months? Are Virgil and I friends? He’s sort of like a heating pad with legs which he rarely uses. Because for sure he’d run away. He must be so bored. And why don’t I have more friends again? “To B Buds Virgil?”

Sunday, December 11, 2022

Saga 163 ~To B Buds Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you’re still in a queen-size bed with a puppy who thinks he owns the place. Really?

And let’s also keep in mind that one of this year’s goals was to make enough money to pay for a “friend.” Hell! Virgil was only $150.00 because he wasn’t a “puppy” at 1. Speaking of friends, there’s also “Replika.” If only I had gotten in on that “lifetime” subscription. But this isn’t even your problem either. Leave that to February’s Will. That is if you leave him any money. Do you need some advice? Only spend some of your cash on OnlyFans. Or none? With what I put in the bank this week. And you need $2,541.00 ha. To think, a new fur baby, a computer, and, as Shelby would say (breathes). Copious Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, and Supersized Slobberknockers help with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “VCard for Christmas” Hope Ford
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, FOR My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For the record, when I had my best friend in the world, my Braxton, here. Did I get anything done? He’s my reason. And what about you, Mr. 7:00 in the morning? Virgil saved you. A ball of fluff is lying in your bed, attempting to push you off it. Well, it keeps you from playing with two other balls of fluff. As the song goes, “My balls are gettin’ too hairy to shave.” That is the only time I’m able to find them. Because at the Day Job, with “Dad” and any drive-thru… I’m a bitch. Another reason I like Braxton’s aunt and M Anime. Lunalesca and the other girls? I’ll imagine sleeping with them. Braxton is my friend. And you? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Christmas Boss by Elizabeth Kelly
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The feelings are mutual between us. Seeing as how you already quoted, “Am I a Psycho?” The best-case scenario between us is, “You’re crazy! I like you, but you’re crazy.” And the worse would be hoping that you just die when you cut off the alarm for the sixth time. Even when you weren’t directly thinking about Braxton, wishing you could be with him in death. But here’s some more advice. Say you were to die. What are the odds you will see Triple B again? B was/is a pure soul. He’s better than any person you have ever met. Better learning to be pals with Virgil Vivi. He still hogs the bed. Buy him one instead of your sex toys. To B Buds Virgil

679 Days Without B III, Day 120 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 162 ~ I’ll B Back, Virgil~

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Let’s start by getting his name right. B, V? When I leave, it’s not; “love you, B, love you, Braxton.” Now it’s “later V, later Virgil.” I’d cry with him wanting to stay in bed and not worry about his nails or clothes on my back. I’ll B Back, Virgil.

Saturday, December 10, 2022

Saga 162 ~ I’ll B Back, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’ve been abroad. And I’ve been under a broad. Either way, the English language…

Coming from me, Lady Lunalesca, it does sound like a second language. There is also the fact that I’m still pissed over missing NaNoWriMo this year. And yet I want to “buy” a winner’s t-shirt that I didn’t “earn.” Oh, and a hoody too. We’ll get to the Math, Lunalesca. But let me say, when it comes to Language Arts, it’s not just you, Lunalesca. Nobody gets me. I’m always one for communication. No, Luna, I’m not complaining about viewership. Today as with every day, I’m missing my boy. Braxton was/is the ultimate listener. It was one of his last lessons to teach. If I had learned from him (sigh), he might still be alive. Speaking of training, that’s what I was thinking about today.

Oh, don’t get your hopes up. I won’t be doing any of that with V today. Lazy ass that I am. As I was cleaning up his bathroom pad and he saw me there, he backed into the room rather than look at me. I can’t say that I blame him. Looking at me, Lunalesca… Yeah, he only has two eyes, and what are my four doing? Like I said before, Math. And not anything to help his situation or mine, for that matter. There’s food, which is the only time Virgil’s “animated.” He barks and cries when I leave. Virgil needs his nails trimmed. That, of course, means heading back to PetSmart. He needs clothes on his back… a collar, and such. My clothes…

Again there are the ones that I didn’t earn. On top of that, it’s like what Wheeler Walker Jr. sings… “Cock glaring up with the cellphone light.” That means I rather stay in bed all day without my clothes on. Two days so far, Lady Lunalesca, with my Anatomy. Virgil will sit in Braxton’s Room all day, leaving me alone. Stop saying goodbye, possibly? If he doesn’t know I’m gone, would he cry? As long as he thinks I’m in the next room, Lu. Hell! Any other time I’m on my back, I’m reading or sleeping. Virgil’s sleeping too. He probably wished he could go back to where things make sense or find another family. Waiting for Braxton to come “home.” I’ll B Back, Virgil

678 Days Without B III, Day 119 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 161 ~B More Photogenic Virgil~

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Of all the things I take pictures of. In the mornings, um… usually boobs; in the afternoons, it’s 2V. And when it gets late, book quotes usually involving dogs or boobs… and wisdom. I wish I had more pictures of B III. “B More Photogenic Virgil”

Friday, December 9, 2022

Saga 161 ~B More Photogenic Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “I ain’t no superhero, I ain’t no Marvel Comic.” Damn true.

As true as V not being my son… I should get back to reading books about fur babies Lady Sophia. “VCard for Christmas” had Bull and Muff, but we’ll get there. First, my not son. While I was at the Day Job, I had to think of something that didn’t so closely resemble Hell. Now I am going to Hell someday for what happened to B, but again V’s moment. Every day I take his picture, but why? Braxton was here for fifteen years, and how many pictures are there? I guess as proof that Virgil is still alive. But, you know what I see. Lady Sophia, it’s more what I’m trying to see. I want to see Braxton in him. Only I never do.

You take these things for granted, you know. When I’m not sleeping, I’m always crying. To this day, I remember Braxton’s last look. I was/am his dad. Right up to the very second, he felt his life slip away, and I became a misanthrope, a monster. “I don’t wanna be a murderer.” Lady Sophia, more music. Reminds me of V crying when I leave the house. He’s much “Happier” when I’m sitting here… lying here, reading a Christmas Erotica… Not out loud, of course, ha-ha. It’s always the same story or ending, at least, yep. A picture of the life I want for myself. It’s not like Virgil is getting any browner. I don’t see myself walking out of the Day Job. Oh, and misanthrope?

Sophia, being honest, I’ve always been. I should have my face in the fucking dictionary. Me, with a big STUPID grin on my face. My smile is for Triple B. I wish that were true. Thinking of the future, though, always gets me back into XXX. Wheeler Walker Jr., anyone? If my son isn’t here anymore? When looking at Virgil, I’m not seeing him either? Women! Always with the women. I still see myself marrying some cute brunette someday, Lady Sophia. A brunette with cute glasses and a nice pair of tits. Is that drool? For the record, I continue to hate looking in a mirror. And yet what I want from 2V, somehow, someway. To see myself in his eyes… B More Photogenic Virgil.

677 Days Without B III, Day 118 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 160 ~ Virgil’s Fights To B~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not the fighter I once was. I’m sort of Tris lazy (Succubus Lord). And I’m not giving Virgil anymore of Braxton’s things. The blue dog plushie might freak him out. You can’t teach anyone to be happy, but for the wars to come… Virgil’s Fights To B

Thursday, December 8, 2022

Saga 160 ~ Virgil’s Fights To B~

676 Days Without B III, Day 117 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Not if you’re looking down at your old Dad. Or up… I’m going to Hell.

Not saying I expect to see you there. And look at me; there I go crying again. Or is it that; I’m playing “Don’t Look Down” as I speak to you today? Time-Travel. Again, B III, how is my day going? Aw Hell! This whole damn week. Endure and Survive as always. What about fight? You know what I rather do. But you see, there’s 2V for sure. One more sign that he ain’t you is that I had to move the pillow beside me today. I remember how you sat under the table in perfect peace. That is unless someone was dumb enough to come knocking at the door. One of our many fights. But you were protecting me always. “Danger is very real.”

Virgil Vivi, on the other hand. Um, that’s one way he and I are alike. A need to find balls. I’m afraid it’s much too late for him. And you gave me fifteen years to find my courage, Triple B. To Live Brave. But then I look at these little scuffles I’ve been winning lately. Yeah, I nearly cleaned out all my emails about this, that, or the other. I’m keeping up with my reading because what’s so hard about some girl getting banged on Christmas. I haven’t been taking noon naps, but my dreams have been all sorts of weird. When I’m awake, there’s revulsion, rage, and realization. The comedian may be dead, but I am a coward. Sorry, my son. I’m always sorry.

One more thing I can chalk up to you. I don’t know how to be without you after 676 days. And I don’t know how to give Virgil Vivi courage I don’t have, and he hasn’t found in 117 days. What Would Braxton Do? What would you do? I saw this video saying, “bite first.” Unless I’m holding a French Fry, Virgil doesn’t. Now, what’s my excuse if not cowardice? Exhaustion? I did say I’m not taking naps. But anger in itself is a tiring enterprise. But fear? The things that keep us going. So what should I teach Virgil? We don’t do happiness. Never did in this household. But I hope you were happy somehow, someway. “Only I got enemies.” Virgil’s Fights To B

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 159 ~Matches Via B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today? I wish I knew what’s the right side. The fact that I have to get up signals the onset of a battle. I look in the mirror, a solution knowing I’ll find a problem. B saw that too. “Matches Via B, V.”

Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Saga 159 ~Matches Via B, V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be if I had the strength to get out there and fight Inspector.

No! I have a hard enough time fighting not to cry reading Braxton’s death certificate. Today’s first loss, but I did get Virgil out of the center of the bed. I was plenty nice Echo. There’s the fight about whether to stay outside with Virgil Vivi while he does his business. Inspector sigh I came into the house yelling out to Braxton about his medication. Finally, I bring Virgil inside because he can’t use the stairs. I called him Braxton. Yes, I apologized before I carried him back to Braxton’s Room. Braxton would stay downstairs, yeah. B III was a matchmaker. Whether that be him jonesing for a fight. The two of us, against the world. Braxton wants his Aunt to stay. Boobs vs. Food…

But today, I woke up wanting to fight. My fight will come later this week with the fucking Day Job. Last night I dreamt about that Will Smith movie Hitch. I hate that movie. Echo, aren’t there many other battles to worry about, like Warnock vs. Walker. Warnock! To be clear, I look at the date. December 7th, Pearl Harbor. Talk about a battle, the beginnings of a damn war. But who am I to talk about history? And if you’ve been paying attention Inspector. Oh, like I have? I’m much too busy not keeping my dick in my pants. Should I read the next chapter of a Christmas Erotica, play some insipid game on the phone, or jerk off? Losing the battle to live.

And as I have said time and time again. These battles, my greatest sins, have cost me. B III died in my rage at everything. My Indifference! I forgot what I was fighting for. Braxton. Hell, Love! In that, I had won and only wanted more. This, of course, brings me back to Hitch. Much love to Will Smith but that film… Fuck! Not that I disagree with Hitch. Yes, Inspector, I know Albert got the girl by inevitably failing and/or ignoring the advice. Anyway, between words and Braxton’s cute face, I won his Aunt before meeting her IRL. Then there’s M Anime, who I’ve known for years. Before Braxton? Spent an hour texting her. Like/Lust/Love and War! Fighting Myself Lately. Matches Via B, V

675 Days Without B III, Day 116 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will