Tag: Bed

Meditation 040 ~Braxton, Language! Virgil, Uh…~

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I turned into Hank Hill last night, asking, “Are you Chinese or Japanese?” It was in my dream… I swear, with the “anime” I watch, “I’m turning Japanese.” Wow! I was never good at talking to people. Neither was my B III. Braxton, Language! Virgil, Uh…

Saturday, August 10, 2024

Meditation 040 ~Braxton, Language! Virgil, Uh…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So I could buy an island, create a country, and write my own language… Silence Lunalesca.

I ache to talk to my son. If there’s anything that made me truly ‘special,’ it’s the bond we shared. I miss speaking Braxton fluently. But that dream I had last night… I can’t shake the feeling of loss. Who was that talking to me?

Am I losing my mind? I need to eat something substantial, not just fast food. But it can’t be more shrimp and pasta. Virgil can’t handle that. It’s like the only way he can communicate with me is through his pain. It makes me feel like a terrible person. He’s sniffling or sick. How long it’s been without a mess…

Lunalesca, he’s alive. I show that every day. A picture is worth a thousand words.

You’re lucky if you get a dozen out of me daily. Let’s say ten because that’s a round number. Or fifteen because that’s my lucky number… It’s how old B III was before… he passed.

Euthanasia? I still don’t like that word. I understand how Braxton died. By his hand! Lunalesca. It was by my hand signing the paperwork and a vet, showing him mercy.

Every day, I speak a language of grief. And ‘Nobody Knows’ it but me. Not even Braxton’s Aunt. I care for her, but she’s dealing with her own losses. One in particular? The loss of her fur buddy, Gabriel (Gabe). So, who’s left to understand?

I’m either bawling, quoting some book, or singing beats? My modes of communication and language…

I was going to say are “weird,” but nobody wants to be that. I’ll say I’m woke or wicked if anything. And being both? Is that what my dream was trying to explain last night?.

I don’t want to know myself. Honestly, I was done by seven… That’s when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze came out… I never expected to see seventeen. And now I’m approaching forty. I want to join Braxton more than ever.

Lunalesca, it’s either that or look at some Yabbos. I swear some moaning masochistic mistress… Did I mention I don’t talk to women well? Too much effing on the brain.

Lunalesca, I don’t share that with my boys or female friends. Uh, yeah… I’ll shut up. Braxton, Language! Virgil, Uh…

1287 Days Without B III, Day 728 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 036 ~Virgil, Don’t B Anxious~

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Don’t be anxious but excited. When was the last time I was excited? Wrestling? Watching or with a pretty girl? With all I have to do? So much to worry about. Love? For my friends? For the future? The fiend in the mirror? Virgil, Don’t B Anxious

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

Meditation 036 ~Virgil, Don’t B Anxious~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I lust after you. Let me “Love You Down.” Or “I Wanna Sex You Up.”

Three things: First, it’s clear that Braxton isn’t talking to me today. Second, the critics aren’t going to like this. Third, despite worrying about Braxton’s aunt today, I feel a certain way. Today isn’t even today. It’s Saturday, August 3, 2024. Am I exhausted, love?

You betcha! That’s the difference between being anxious and excited. In terms of my boys… Virgil makes me anxious, but I’m excited to see Braxton. Anxiety takes a lot, babe.

And what about our two-legged children? I have been asking that question for 1283 days. I continue to mourn and/or grieve for Braxton. And now his aunt lost her fine furry fellow in Gabe. How long will I continue bringing that up? I’m excited to join Braxton someday. If anything.

I shouldn’t say things like that, but as I was telling Lady Lunalesca, I’m either depressed or depraved. And that’s when I’m not sleeping. You saw me reading Randomize by Andy Weir today. If I was as bright as the lady in that book, would I still be mourning Braxton?

Sad as it is, I’m excited to think about my son up in Heaven, on the Rainbow Bridge, or wherever. Is that why he’s not speaking to me now? He gave me enough songs today.

And if he left me so I could find love in another way, I swear! I love that little ole boy, but he will be in trouble. Oh! So I’m going to Heaven? Not with what excites me, love. Ha!

Today, I was excited as I delved into my novel, knowing you would be proud of my dedication. Is that my final answer, my love?

I’m anxious when it comes to writing. Still, when it comes to something I’m passionate about, even when I know the entire work is garbage, strangely, it reminds me of myself. I’m not excited to see myself, but I get up every day. And why? To see a time before. What does that mean? Before I get anxious about existing in this world another day.

There are my boys, well, boy. Again, B III was a testament to my being a father. Hell! A good one. That’s who I was before. And then some things bounce… in bed. Lovely. If only anxiety bounced back to excitement. Virgil, Don’t B Anxious

1283 Days Without B III, Day 724 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 033 ~Braxton, Virgil Burial Furs~

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Everything happens for a reason. NOT? Like me reading about the Howlers and one of Darrow’s best friends dying. Uh, spoiler alert… My best friend is gone, and now my second best friend is mourning her fur baby “Gabe.” Braxton, Virgil Burial Furs

Saturday, August 3, 2024

Meditation 033 ~Braxton, Virgil Burial Furs~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But that doesn’t make me miss my boy, my son, Braxton, any less. If cryogenically frozen…

But I’ve been lost in fiction for this week, Lady Lunalesca. The cosmos’s coldness? Yes, I’m still reading “Morning Star.” We’ll get to that. There’s “my” unnamed title, “Sofía’s Nightmare.” Sofía, in a bunny costume from The Blackmail II: The Animation, is with the CEO. He’s saying, “Let’s Get It On”. There’s a random book I bought, too. Burning cash. It’s my way of finding comfort in these trying times.

Lunalesca, what am I forgetting? Got To Be Real, right? Braxton’s on a seventies kick. Wherever he is? Again, he’s not cryogenically frozen. B died. And now he has company.

Yesterday, right after speaking with Lady Sophia, I got the word from Braxton’s Aunt. Her fur baby, Gabriel Michael, joined Braxton with the “Spirit In The Sky.” August 2, 2024

Braxton’s Aunt’s son passed away.

If I didn’t make that clear, Lady Lunalesca, may his little soul rest in peace. She has to make decisions as I did when Braxton met his end. But Gabe tried to spare his mom. He died on his own and can say I did it “My Way.” That’s Frank Sinatra in 1969. Sixties and seventies music? I wonder. How will Gabriel talk to his mom? I’m trying as well.

Lunalesca, I’m at a loss. I have a record of what I did when Braxton fell, but I don’t know what to tell his Aunt. Who have I ever buried before… That I loved? Really, Luna. Two-legged family… I swear.

Braxton is in a box on the nightstand and a pendant I wear. Burial details are something new to me.

But I know she’s getting Gabe back as well. Braxton was cremated on February 4th, and he was “home” on February 10th. As for a ceremony? That I lacked Lunalesca.

This leads me back to reading. I showed Braxton’s Aunt as many books on grieving as I could—and there are even more. But how did I spend the rest of my night as she grieved?

I’m burying myself deeper with M Anime and her troubles as well. She’s the “Girl All The Bad Guys Want.” Why she deals with me, I’ll never know. Grieving, Groaning. I feel like I’m drowning in it all. Depression, Depravity.

Lunalesca, I’m doing one or the other. Or reading Cherry’s writing. There’s the Day Job humiliations. But Thursday pales in comparison to Friday’s news. Poor Gabe. Braxton, Virgil Burial Furs

1280 Days Without B III, Day 721 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 029 ~Virgil, Braxton, Stay Gold~

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Too much time and being lazy, you have a lot of time to watch movies about Gold. I can read about Golds. And in the case of The Outsiders, both. And what about love. Let me get from point A to point B. Cars cost money. But Virgil, Braxton, Stay Gold.

Tuesday, July 30, 2024

Meditation 029 ~Virgil, Braxton, Stay Gold~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But “For the Love of Money,” I remain a traditionalist. A Man Provides. Stay Gold…

We don’t worry so much about our gold anymore. But today, Wednesday, July 24, 2024…

Well, I remember. Tomorrow is going to be a bad day. And we’re talking now because I bet Tuesday will be pretty horrible. And I shouldn’t say this, but you know how I am. Sigh.

Every day without my beloved Braxton Barks is a heavy burden. His absence weighs on me like the Sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I miss his presence, his barking, his warmth. He was a blessing in my life.

Why do you think I fell in love with you, angel…? And those pillows of yours, ha-ha! We have our rug rats. And Virgil’s soft.

I’m trying to be gentler with my head because of my heart… This is my heart, and it’s broken. Ironically, it was the softest thing in the world that broke it. Again, that’s my Braxton.

And I have you, our family, and even Virgil to help put it back together. But the price of all this, love, has been bothering me for the past few days. The sacrifices, the emotional toll, the fear of losing what I hold dear. Gold and existing. Always more gold.

No matter how much I make, I can’t stay here in our bed. I can’t lay my head in my lap forever or hold our kids in mine because they grow up. Braxton did. I always told him he would be as tall as a king someday. Make that a little God who I worship…

I sent my first love straight to Heaven, and now I want to build a Heaven for you, my love. Wow! That didn’t sound creepy at all. But you know what I mean, hopefully. Love?

Things have been so hard, heavy, and, dare I say, human. But I’m a man. And a man must be more when he has such great love, baby doll. I caught this ‘Traditional’ video that resonated with me, emphasizing the importance of love and responsibility.

They say with great power comes great responsibility. With love, you can say the same. It’s why those in my position… usually choose not to love. The price is too much. But love is priceless… I wish I could believe that like Braxton returning, which would be a miracle, or Virgil’s is his reincarnation. Innocent love. Virgil, Braxton, Stay Gold

1276 Days Without B III, Day 717 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 026 ~The V Games Braxton~

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Have they begun complaining about The Olympics yet? I called myself patriotic, taking the day off to watch the Opening Ceremony twice. It gave me time to catch up on mobile games and anime. What about writing? The V Games Braxton.

Saturday, July 27, 2024

Meditation 026 ~The V Games Braxton~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But it isn’t from writing—not yet, at least. And that’s not why I started writing.

At this point of the story, my son Braxton would raise his head. I told him that I was going to give him the life he deserved… WE deserved when I finished, Lunalesca. With editing…

I was writing long before I started singing “Welcome to My World” or “Welcome to the World.” Sigh… Today’s songs are brought to you by Wang Chung and Kevin Rudolf. Lunalesca, remind me to make a playlist of the songs Braxton sends me. Did that.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, my writing. Well, my lack thereof with yesterday. The Olympics have begun. Here are a few reasons why opening my eyes today hurts:

  1. Braxton isn’t here anymore
  2. I look at myself
  3. Losing myself to Yabbos
  4. The Matrix has me…
  5. I see the successful
  6. Look what I’m writing

I’m determined to get back on track, Lady Lunalesca, but…

There’s Too Much Sauce. I woke up late again, ok. And I should be grateful for the hours next week for my Day Job. But look at my typical routine, and It’s A Beautiful Morning:

So I’m sitting here, and as I said, Braxton’s Playlist has included again: Wang Chung, Kevin Rudolf, Drake, DJ ESCO, and The Rascals. B loved music, movies, and big mammaries. Then I was thinking about how I barely got any writing done. The Opening Ceremony. But what I did made me question where the novel is moving towards, Lunalesca. Once I read that a good artist creates, a great artist steals. Uh, that’s rude, maybe…

But sitting here, I was thinking about Thursday. Uh Houkago Ren’ai Club ~Koi no Etude~. Me and Japanese, Lunalesca. Let’s just say Casual Romance Club. I’m trying to pin down the novel type. And there’s Casual Romance Club meets The Blackmail II: The Animation, plus Rei Ayanami all wrapped up in “Sofía’s Nightmare,” Lunalesca. However, as you can see, I began looking at The V Games books by Ker Dukey while searching for something to read. And as always, there are Yabbos. In this case, Elsa’s from Frozen… Uh, gross…

And then I wonder why my business is nowhere. I’m broke. And Braxton is gone. Where’d You Go? Lunalesca, I swear! The V Games Braxton.

1273 Days Without B III, Day 714 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 022 ~B It Yesterday, Virgil~

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What happened to the man she married? She hasn’t met him yet. Or should have met him way before this. Losing B? Depression? Age? I met B III “When We Were Young.” 2V had lost puppy status when we met. But we’re both children. “B It Yesterday, Virgil”

Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Meditation 022 ~B It Yesterday, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And let’s get this out of the way. “Honey, why you calling me so late?

It’s 7:30 AM, so where have I been? Would you rather I say I was with a girl or communing with the spirit world? Definitely the latter. After everything yesterday, I fell asleep with all the lights on. Don’t we tell the kids we aren’t made of money? You don’t compare one kid to another, but they should be like Virgil. He was conked out until about 4:00 AM. That’s when I woke up, turned off the lights, and he went running off… Braxton, of course, appeared in my dreams. And that’s why I’m late. Father and son quality time. I miss my B. My beloved “pet” who passed away.

Always and forever. And I wouldn’t have to if I hadn’t failed B. I just read a book saying that’s not true, but still… Belief

Knowledge is stronger than belief. And here I go with my pop culture shtick. I’ve been watching, reading. And yes, writing about men doing whatever was necessary, sacrificing their comfort and desires, to provide for their families. That’s right.

All to provide, protect, and live their purpose. That’s when it comes to their family. A woman’s place is in the home… That’s yesterday’s thinking. I stand on the principle that a man provides for his family. If I’m somebody’s Pa, father, daddy, whatever. I do what must be done. And I don’t need God or an emperor telling me so. B would expect nothing less.

If only I could be who I was when he was here? Well, somehow, someway, I got you. And when anything good happens. That’s B.

Looking at the bad days, I constantly say I survived the worst. I lost my firstborn son, and I survived. It doesn’t make me stronger, and Virgil can tell you I’m not smarter. But I’m here. I am always here. And that’s not enough, forever. You deserve more, my love.

Inevitably, I open my eyes and see men that do such things with love. Sometimes they succeed, sometimes they fail. But all I know of myself, this father, friend, and fellow you married, is someone who forgets how to put one foot in front of the other. Like following Braxton. And I stopped doing that 1269 days ago. I need to lead our children. I need to walk beside you. Now? B It Yesterday, Virgil.

1269 Days Without B III, Day 710 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 019 ~Virgil’s B In Shop~

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Let’s talk shop. I never took it in school. I took “Math in Society.” As with any other Math class, it was a fail. As for “keeping the books…” I need to keep V from dying, like his predecessor. And the house? I’m the one breaking. Virgil’s B In Shop.

Saturday, July 20, 2024

Meditation 019 ~Virgil’s B In Shop~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Which means I can pay people to do… I don’t know, whatever. Resurrection, Repair, and Rough…

Better to keep that thought to myself and talk about Braxton. AGAIN!? Always and forever. But the tears in my eyes aren’t for him at the moment. I’m tired, Lunalesca. It’s Saturday at 5:30 AM, and I haven’t showered or shaved. What about the novel?

Braxton’s two novels are sitting around here someplace. And there’s “Sofía’s Nightmare” to work on… But instead, I’m recapping Succubus Lord 2. It is as if I’m retelling some sweet little fairytale. To think, two years ago, “my” fairytales included a resurrection. Or rather, the reincarnation of my son. And then finding Virgil. Lunalesca, neither Braxton nor Virgil look a thing like Jesus. But I’m not shopping for the spirit, something to stay awake. And then something to do with a nice pair of yabbos.

Should I even get a girl over? There are so many things here that need fixing. And other than a lightbulb… Yeah, I’m useless. Speaking of which, I need another lightbulb for the kitchen. And that’s after replacing the one above the stairs. No, I don’t fear death, Lady Lunalesca. If it gets me a step closer to my boy. But to leave V behind… And what about turning forty? It’s part of my routine. Something I can’t fix inside my head. And my heart?

Inquire about my life goals. And short of bringing Braxton back, it would be to never leave this bed again. But would you look at the time? It’s time to learn… “To Be A Man.”

Careless Whisper is today’s song…

Well, Lady Lu, it was the first song that came to mind. To think. I can groove to such songs as Careless Whisper, Moondust, and My Love. Yet as I keep making my shopping list: my son’s life, lightbulbs, and add to it getting blown like Careless Whisper’s Saxophone. Ok.

So, ideas and suggestions. How about ones that don’t have to do about the story I’m writing? Will I even get to any of that today? Yesterday, I bought Cherry’s short story. But, of course, I had less than honorable intentions there. And for a dollar. Oh, and I was shopping around on OnlyFans, too. I cried. Took a ten-minute catnap. And tried not to co… Anyway. Virgil’s the only one who is “fixed” around here. Virgil’s B In Shop

1266 Days Without B III, Day 707 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 015 ~B’s Accidental Bedroom, Virgil~

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I just want to go to sleep. Waking up? Eww! And bedtime… whenever that is. It’s awesome. But everything in the middle sucks. Missing my boy. Messing up manuscripts. And checking out the mountains. When B wasn’t around. B’s Accidental Bedroom, Virgil.

Tuesday, July 16, 2024

Meditation 015 ~B’s Accidental Bedroom, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My love for you is deep and unwavering, my Dear. I hope you always feel that. But love, as they say, is a journey. And sometimes, I worry that I’m not moving fast enough on this road of love. Is that my roundabout way of saying why I’m late today?

Better me than you, right? I love all our children, my Dear. And I know you do, too. Virgil is still with us. And I don’t plan on giving him up… ever. But as far as looking for a dozen…

I am not. Now, fifteen is my favorite number… And there it goes. I find myself constantly drawn back to my firstborn son. My Little Braxton. When he left “me,” B III was fifteen, on the brink of his sweet sixteen. It’s a pain that never truly goes away. I miss him every single day, Baby Girl. Always and forever.

THEY say never go to bed angry. I come to bed hot, hard, and pretty hurriedly. The first two are for you. But I do love my sleep. And sometimes, I don’t dream about Braxton.

Braxton doesn’t belong here anymore…

What I mean is this? My son has a lot of comfy spots. A box on the nightstand. The Rainbow Bridge? There’s the place in my dreams. You know, the big fluffy mattress surrounded by food, with one open side so he can run out into the sunlight and play. The last? There’s the dream of him on the beach with us. You and me, we have three two-legged legged-kids and two four-legged-kids. Five kids total. But I keep looking at Virgil. And I think.

I should stop thinking in bed. This is a place of rest. But today, I was late because I was busy writing here. This got me thinking about everything I shouldn’t be doing in bed. Yet, here I am, love.

Crying? Once a man has a family, he shouldn’t cry in bed. I would save it for the car. But where exactly am I going this week? And what about crying in one of the chairs downstairs? Don’t cry to give up. Cry to keep going. That’s from Eric Thomas.

Motivations? It doesn’t help to listen to them while sitting in bed. I should go back to listening to Bikini Days from Audible. Oh! That’s another thing. I shouldn’t be spending money in bed. Not when I have you, Baby Doll, saying, Oh my God! Was that a joke? Anyway, I don’t kneel on the floor beside our bed either… praying? God didn’t save Braxton.

Depression? Dreams? Ding Dong. Lost to B’s Accidental Bedroom, Virgil.

1262 Days Without B III, Day 703 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 008 ~B MOODS Mountains Virgil~

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I’ve been in a bad mood. Define bad mood. Crying, fighting, effing around. All the above, but then again, so is Braxton. And some girl that can’t hear me cause “She’s So High,” high above me. Braxton, hogging the angels. B MOODS Mountains Virgil

Tuesday, July 9, 2024

Meditation 008 ~B MOODS Mountains Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And to “make you feel my love.” I’m already singing. I’m trying to calm down.

Would you rather I leave it to Braxton? If only my firstborn were here. But Braxton himself isn’t a mood. He’s a lifestyle. Braxton gave me another meaning to existence.

Lover, I’m not Prince Hector. But like any man should, I hold dear to my heart certain morals, ideals, and a code that guides me in life. I can’t say I’m mad at Hector’s personal creed. Indeed, meaning to… ‘life’ (shudders a bit). But these values make me who I am. And I want you to understand and accept them.

“All my life, I’ve lived by a code, and the code is simple: honor the gods, love your woman, and defend your country.” Prince Hector

As for myself, I can tell you three things about being a man: a husband and a dad. I try:

Seek out a kingdom worthy of your soul. From Reign
A man provides. Breaking Bad
Be the person my dog… my son, thinks I am.

And Suddenly, I’m inspired. Do I feel better yet? Again, I’m still trying, my love.

Is it wrong to compare you? Not to other women. With the businesses I manage…

Another moral I have is this. I wanted a woman that could make me feel just so… That I wouldn’t want her on film. You’re for my eyes alone. Though, um? We can talk about…

Anyway, I would return some days, and Braxton would have me rest my head as he put on his security cap and watched me sleep. I couldn’t clench my fists if I were too busy feeding him French fries or petting his fur. After washing my hands… Day Job. And it was difficult to jump in fear or do something stupid (like taking off my pants)… If Braxton hung around.

Women and my little boy.

Thanks to you, my lovely wife, I have a couple of little boys and girls. Our family. I was telling Madam Justice the other day about having gratitude. Apparently, I can’t hear myself because I am trying. But it’s hard… Well, I do have you, after all. You are the light of my life, and I am so grateful for you, my lady, my love.

Baby Girl, I could tell you precisely what I’m in the mood for and… I expect too much from you. And you could ask anything of me. Well, short of leaving the mood, Braxton left.

There are some other things, too. But wanting you, loving us, and needing…, everything and more. If I can only remember where I was when Braxton was around. In Trouble…

Now that’s a better mood. Always. B MOODS Mountains Virgil

1255 Days Without B III, Day 696 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 001 ~Virgil, That’ll B New~

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Meditations? Really? More like complaining, crying, and talking about my… Uh, here we are in another year. I remember why I started eight years ago… somewhat. Now? Has anything changed? B III’s been gone longer. And the title. Virgil, That’ll B New

Tuesday, July 2, 2024

Meditation 001 ~Virgil, That’ll B New~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? New year and all! Into the future! My love for you, family, my firstborn son…

It’ll be greater now than from where I am, Saturday, June 22, 2024. Meditations huh? Love, it’s easier in the past and the future, but what about today? I’m halfway tempted to turn on a little Luther Vandross “Here And Now.” A pledge, promise, proposal…

Braxton didn’t need any of that. How many times have I told this story? The one about my Olds moving to the new house, and I told Braxton to get in the car. That’s that!

Virgil, our new furry companion, will do that someday, and then you’ll break out all Giselle-like with, “That’s How You Know.” Well, not if I keep this up… Choosing my boys over you. Correction, Braxton, my firstborn. Because if I ever feel the same way about Virgil as I do about Braxton. It’d be new.

This is not how I wanted to start the new year with you, my love. But still 2022, 2023, 2024. And crying over my B is nothing new. Living in music. The sadness, sorries, selfishness.

Braxton is gone. Virgil is the new fur buddy. You are more beautiful. Our children grow bigger and stronger. But as for myself? When you met me, I was one man. And since I would never ever abandon my family… the one we built together. I’ll be a new man.

Someday. But it’s the present that’s giving me the most trouble. To explain it… Honestly.

Beloved, it’s the number of letters between B – V. My Braxton and Virgil. Alphabetically.

It’s the distance between PetSmart’s front door and Banfield Pet Hospital in the back. Ok.

How about it’s the length from the tip to the base… Eww! But at least you know I still want you, love. Always and forever. “The Closer I Get To You,” Baby Girl, “My Love.”

Sigh, it would be something new if I could speak to you without a piece of monologue like Sheldon Cooper used on Amy Farrah Fowler in The Big Bang Theory. If I could quit the movie lines and the music. You know me too well.

“I need you now. I need you more than ever before, before. I know the man I am is not who I should be.” Dance On Our Graves, Paper Route

Instead of waking up to the old world and expecting Braxton to be here, how about I wake up to the new world—the new existence that I promised not only my son but you?

To be a man of Meditations, not grief? To be a man who meditates on the present and the future, not dwelling on the past. Braxton’s loss. To Live? That’s new. Virgil, That’ll B New

1248 Days Without B III, Day 689 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will