When was my last truly peaceful sleep? Any afternoon when B sat at the corner of the bed, keeping my fears at bay. V tries. My last piece of… Um, my last woman. It was before B’s Favorite Girl got married. Such a time. Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope.
Thursday, August 14, 2025
Journey 044 ~Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope~
1656 Days Without B III, Day 1097 of Virgil’s Arrival
Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, these days, feels like The Long Walk. That’s an appropriate book for you.
I wish I could have read it to you, Braxton. But have I even cried for you today, my friend?
I’m not sure. Let’s say I was leaking a different kind of fluid. First off, Eww! Secondly, no, I didn’t… Not really. You had your Favorite Girl with your Aunt. I have mine with you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. She was feeling pretty naughty when I got up.
I know, I know, B. Can I stop talking about Daddy things, and especially Aunts or ants, for real? My eyes are like a pair of aching feet. Say what now? Up and down from the buttons I press to the wall outside, looking for those buggy bastards to strike again. I swear B III.
“Just make this go away.”
“Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile by Staind
“Don’t look down
Don’t feast your eyes on the things that are on the ground
And if it gets hard to focus
When you’re driving almost at the speed of sound
Feeling nowhere bound
Remember what I told you, and don’t you dare look down.”
― David Ryan Harris (2003)
All I want, Braxton, all I need besides you, M Anime’s yabbos, or Coldplay’s Yellow.
“Your skin, oh yeah, your skin, and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so”
Yellow by Coldplay
Seriously, so I’m supposed to be Neo now? “The One.” Don’t forget, that was your name for a couple of days. You were my little Neo, well, my sister’s before you decided to jump onto the bed and dig into a plate of Waffles. Or was it French Toast? And then you became Little Pancake. I must be hungry. That bag of Cheetos from the Day Job has me ill.
“Deus Ex Machina: What do you want?
Neo: Peace.”
― From The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
Honestly, your little brother pulls the same move. When I’m eating, he cuddles up with me with hope. “He’s My Son,” as Mark Schultz puts it. But that’s like comparing my sister and me to our Old Man. The Favorite.
I bet her house isn’t crumbling into pieces. And she’s not sitting somewhere watching for Carpenter Ants. Jeezu, am I right! No, I’m scared, I’m terrified. And I can hear you, Little B, Be Not So Fearful. Unfortunately, terrible nights lead to effing mornings breathing.
“Jeezu, protect my soul. Wash my sin and let me fly.
Jeezu, protect my soul. Wash my sin and let me shine”
― Jeymes Samuel
“Woke Up This Morning,” but I didn’t go all Tony Soprano. Again, I was staring at everybody else’s Yabbos, and then your stepmom sent some pictures sans her clothes and:
“So now, what should I do?
I’m strung out, addicted to you.
My body aches, now that you’re gone
My supply fell through.”
Akira Yamaoka
Pieces of the old me, Braxton. But I never liked who I was. Virgil and M Anime do try B.
But you were the wall, and I fell. I failed you. And now you’re my road of The Long Walk. I go, I crumble, wanting this. Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope.
“I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me, and I walk alone.”
― Green Day
“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)
Always and Forever,
Your Dad