Tag: Fatherhood

Tale 197 ~Virgil, That’s Sick B~

WillLeave a comment

It’s sick when I’m actually sick. A real excuse? So I do what? I go to the Day Job because I’m an American*. I saw The Book of Clarence because I’m a Black American. And I forget meds because I’m surrounded by zombies. Virgil, That’s Sick B

Sunday, January 14, 2024

Tale 197 ~Virgil, That’s Sick B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. And I take full responsibility for you being… well, you. I swear I went shopping yesterday. And…

As far as being positive… You are still alive. And I’m talking about people being all over the place at the drugstore and Walmart. When you’re around other zombies, it’s hard to tell that you’re dead. Or at least I was playing the role well. You are The Walking Dead.

Yet, if you still feel this way tomorrow morning… You’re doing what Braxton did… “When we pretend that we’re dead?” You know when Braxton became silent? And then you knew he was sick. But then he pretended to need sleep. Plenty. Ended up with him sleeping forever. No medication could have saved B. Or so I was told. Sigh. Financially, I could have gotten you something, though. But now, sitting here with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dog Love ― An Unbreakable Bond
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 011, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Are you as shocked as I am that you’re still hanging with number four? Seriously? The only sign that you’re getting better. Why else are some vices considered actual sicknesses? Between the ten bucks I wasted on OnlyFans… Bro, it was more that I liked breathing than some English lady’s “top shelf.” Cherry’s though? What A Heavenly Way To Die. Then there’s the fact that I fixed the computer. Okay, I changed versions, but dirty AI… And then there are reminders of all the “filing” needed in adult entertainment-wise. Ha!

That’s sick, bro. I mean, if you’re a certain kind of bro. And the two “men” I would consider my bros… Braxton’s my son. And Virgil Vivi wants to go back to bed. Who can blame him? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 4, Eric Vall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I should have added talking to someone… for real. If I had my pick, it would be B III, my son always and forever. And who better to know your predicament than your best bro?

But since you’re doing your best impression of Leonardo DiCaprio’s (Richard) “No, I Will Not Die Today!” You could go and see a doctor? There’s your congestion, burning nose, and aches and pains all around. My last few visits could have been better. Docs, Reapers…

“And though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver.” Thank you, Michael. Anyway, Thriller won’t be on your morning routine playlist. For now, that’s Fifteen Million Merits and The Book of Clarence. Is Heaven better, Braxton? Virgil’s napping. Virgil, That’s Sick B

1078 Days Without B III, Day 519 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 192 ~Choice Language B, V~

WillLeave a comment

How do you tell someone you love them? One day, “God Willing,” I’ll be sitting on a bench, holding Virgil when he is ancient, telling him I love him. I can’t tell myself that, but I always tell Braxton. And having a family? Choice Language B, V.

Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Tale 192 ~Choice Language B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… How many times have I said those three little words? I love you, baby girl.

How about three more? Happy New Year! I’m sure I said that on the 1st, but when we chatted on the second. And since I’m traveling from the 5th, You should know? What? That my little boy Braxton is still gone? Virgil’s still scared? And no, that’s not me “trying” to be depressing. But that is what I want to talk to you about today. There’s a term for it… People call them “Love Languages.” I’d stick with “The Look of Love,” but my eyes. Yesterday, well, last Friday anyway, my eyes were all itchy. And the one time that song “Tonight I Wanna Cry” could have helped. I was in our bed suffering. Depressing. Trying to talk to you hasn’t been great. 1073 days.

I’m still counting. So, how many love languages are there. There are five that I’ve seen. And in “my” personal existence and business dealings, I’m particularly good at two. I adore physical touch. Hell! It’s the only thing that wipes my mind of everything, my love. It breaks me down to raw emotion. And not the worst ones, as usual. Him and I, ha. There I go, putting words in your mouth. That’s something else I talked about today. Yesterday? Friday? Time travel can be a trip sometimes. And I’m rushing today, my love. That leads me to receiving gifts at best. And taking care of you and our family at the bare minimum. I have mixed feelings about that.

But throwing money at family shouldn’t be all there is. The family needs more. Your everything. They deserve it. And “that’s why I’m starting with me.” At least for today. Hell! I sound like Donald Trump… Eww! Or should I continue as Michael Jackson sings. “I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love.” Most days, I blame my boys, Braxton and Virgil, for my lack of communication. With well… existence, life, whatever. Grieving? My love, I need to find another way. I might never achieve being everything, okay? Tobias from Divergent wanted to try being brave, selfless, intelligent, honest, and kind. Hmm. I want words, time, touch, actions, and gifts to give. I love you, the kids, my furry boys. Myself, maybe someday huh? Choice Language B, V

1073 Days Without B III, Day 514 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 190 ~Tick Tock, B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Sometimes, I think B gave me his ears. One of the reasons I love headphones and earphones… damn Day Job. If I listened to the clock more, I could listen to THEM less or never again. But no, I’m listening to music, movies, the mirror. Tick Tock, B, V.

Sunday, January 7, 2024

Tale 190 ~Tick Tock, B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. So much to say after the first week of the new year. I’m glad you found time.

Well… no, considering we were supposed to be talking at 1:00 PM, not 1:47 PM. Yesterday’s steak must not have been so good. Hmm? If you’re lucky, you can find some chicken remnants. I’m sorry. You’re on this new thing about being positive. Or neutral. Let’s not say indifferent. That will bring up how Braxton died and Virgil’s treatment. Ha. That would all be my fault because this is time travel. Truth be told. You haven’t even been “born” yet per se. And you know what I really want to say about that but positive. Happy New Year! So how’s it going? How many did you get? I swear The Mill keeps bouncing around in my, well, your head. 15,000,000 Merits? And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Naughty List, Ellie Mae MacGregor
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 011 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Oh, not those, but that song that was in the episode. The “I Have A Dream” song has been driving me bonkers. And if you were lucky enough to forget in about 10 hours… congratulations, you now have an earworm. But I had a revelation, an epiphany, if you will. While I was watching the clock, I thought about this. You’ve never heard this song until 15,000,000 Merits. And 15 is your favorite number. Braxton’s age before passing. Anyway, think about the chorus, “I believe in angels, something good in everything I see.” That’s what I’m doing, and you will as well. Braxton is the angel. And you’re trying to be positive. “I have a dream…” B’s dead. You’re asleep. So dreaming, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dog Love ― An Unbreakable Bond
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 011, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell! Like finishing our conversation in under an hour? Tick Tock MotherEffer, am I right? What else can I be right about on a Saturday? Should we bring up Virgil, who also has a dream now? So, going back to The Mill and 15,000,000 Merits. Two black men are working towards a dead end, yet good things transpire. Bingham got off the bike and ended up in an apartment. Alone but flushed with merits? Hulu’s The Mill saw Joe Stevens speak to his wife and soon-to-be-born child. And he got promoted, though he threatened his job. And what about me soon to be you today? You dream The Impossible Dream. Hear the clock ticking? Towards what this week? I don’t know. Tick Tock, B, V

1071 Days Without B III, Day 512 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 185 ~They’ll B Firsts Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Feels like the first time? It was love at first sight. Or should I go all “Like A Virgin?” To be honest, I’m more for die another day… It would be a first if I was ever successful with … anything. I raised a good son once. “They’ll B Firsts Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Tale 185 ~They’ll B Firsts Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But when was the first time I felt it that it fell from my lips?

When was the first time I pulled an Akon? What I mean is (thank you, Miss Critic) is, when did the song I Wanna “F” you turn into, I Wanna Love You? I can walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. Ha-Ha! “This Is Us,” this is “Life Itself.” But there is B III.

Or not… Am I not falling into the doom and gloom on Day 2 of the new year? I’m trying.

But I’m still counting Day 1066. I can’t tell you about Day 1. The day I met my firstborn in 2005, sometime in April. Are you sick of my pop culture references? Ask the critic. Only today, or rather yesterday. I didn’t know how to feel. I still don’t know.

On Monday, all I felt was tired. A bit like now as I laid off the energy shot. There’s still time. There’s still first. But it’s incredible how you can remember some so vividly. The others… I can’t tell you about my first time making love… What was it I said about Akon. “My Love.” I was hot, horny, and in a hurry. It was more get your freak on, if anything. I know some things got better. Not the grief of losing Braxton. But being with a girl… um, you? What about the first time I fell in love? The first time I thought such a thing. Oh My Love. How about crushes? Tram-Anh Tran, AKA Tina Nguyen from Ghostwriter. Between her and Toonami, it was all about Asian culture. Then, either Elizabeth Hurley, Lynda Carter, or Carrie Fisher, it was all brunettes and/or dark hair. Mostly… But like Captain America probably told Peggy Carter, “I can do this all day” or night. Whatever

Uh, I didn’t write down what I felt after losing my son that first day. But I know the truth.

Grief, Sadness, as the song goes, Feeling super, super, super suicidal. But I stayed here—fate, destiny, who knows, my love. But I stayed because I would feel something else. Love! “I wanna be livin’ for the love of you.” I won’t lose that. It won’t be a first. Never.

But every day. With my first breath, I ask why, worry, and wonder. Our love first. They’ll B Firsts Virgil

1066 Days Without B III, Day 507 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 183 ~Virgil, WILL B Resolute~

WillLeave a comment

“What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” Looking at all the years, I regret… No! Before 2024. What’s one more year wasted as I see those all around me getting married, making babies, and making money. Would a manuscript do that? “Virgil, WILL B Resolute”

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Tale 183 ~Virgil, WILL B Resolute~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. Last time you’ll be seeing me this year. “What a way to go, but have no fear.”

That should be the first song you listen to in the new year: Foo Fighters “DOA.” You remember, at the start of 2023, by accident, it was Crazy Town’s “Butterfly.” It doesn’t send much of a message. And this year has been anything but transformative. Discombobulation? You want to say “cluster…” But maybe you’ll hear from the critic one last time. Of course, it’s not “it” you want to hear from. It’s been almost three years without your son. Yes, you’ll take his final day off. Now that you know, the new year isn’t going to start too well. Humiliations Galore! Oh, you still have time, “This Is America.” But who are what are you? What are you doing, um, existing? With Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Wanna Scrooge?” “Christmas STUFFING,” “Santa is COMING”
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Can you leave Number Four in 2023? Keep your pants on, PLEASE! I swear that’s why you’re so late talking this morning. It’s 9:40 AM. What a way to start the day. The last day. Hmm. You know how badly you wish that was the case. On top of all the lists you must make today, New Year’s Resolutions, how that hurts your soul to look at. Sell your soul?

  1. Braxton’s Last Day, Sunday, January 31, 2021
  2. My E-Day Emergence, Existence, Extinction
  3. Day Job… Wednesday, August 24, 2011
  4. “Healed” Broke my “Abstinence” Thursday June 3, 2021
  5. Braxton’s Birthday, Sunday, February 13, 2005
  6. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident Tuesday, January 11, 2022
  7. Virgil’s “Gotcha Day” Saturday, August 13, 2022
  8. Virgil’s Birthday, Tuesday, October 20, 2020 (Not Braxton’s Reincarnation)
  9. The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023
  10. Basic Bitch, Monday, August 7, 2017

So many days. But when will you find one to complete these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Sometime This Week
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell! Where do you get off thinking you even have a soul to sell? It wouldn’t bring Braxton back from the darkness. Oh, as much as you want to return your life, ha. You’ll live to see the New Year. Talk about a curse as King Leonidas told the traitor, “May you live forever.” You want to be a writer, but then look at all these days. To be resolute; to make resolutions. It’s more your biological imperative. Live/Exist this year? Virgil, WILL B Resolute

  1. I WILL learn to love, somehow I will learn How To Save A Life
  2. I WILL publish at least one book, a bestseller
  3. I WILL make one million dollars every single year
  4. I WILL write 400 Words every day (Goal 120,000)
  5. I WILL visit a brothel somewhere and also participate
  6. I WILL see a return. First significant investment
  7. I WILL produce adult films
  8. I WILL do NaNoWriMo
  9. I WILL have a relationship or sleep with some girl once a month minimum
  10. I WILL, at last, provide for myself and any of those deemed my family
  11. I WILL spend no more than $500 on Yabbos I can’t touch (Hentai Excluded)
  12. I WILL start work on my life goals Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~
  13. I WILL be FEARLESS

1064 Days Without B III, Day 505 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 178 ~To B Moody Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Every day, I get asked, by a computer, mind you, what my mood is like. I’m always worried about something. Being thirty-nine… something always hurts. And since comedy comes in threes. I don’t know. It’s the day after Christmas. So, To B Moody Virgil.

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Tale 178 ~To B Moody Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… If you didn’t believe me, you would have left already. Or is it the fans?

I’m sure I’ve sang to you before, “I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.” Can you even hear me over all of the fans? What about my boy? Every hair, tear, and speck of dust over what, 1059 Days? It’s all gone “Bye Bye Love,” life, and even a specific type of lunacy. B. But that’s not true at all. Even with this being the day after Christmas. Presents? December 25 was something to remember? Well, seeing as how I’m time-traveling here, my love. I can still call you that, right? I have your love, our family. Lives that do concern me. And I’m still writing, wailing, and waiting for my son. But I don’t blame Santa Claus.
This is all my doing, love.

What? Being in a mood? And I won’t treat you like the computer and say, Worried, Pained. And the third thing is always a toss-up. I need more than Discombobulated. Unfortunately, the only word I can think of that is better itself starts with a D. I would never include you or the children. Am I including V in that? Right now, no. So AHEM, “I am The Walking Dead.” And like any zombie, I am up and about without purpose other than to make the living miserable. My friends, enemies, everyone else… And this Christmas, I give you another; I’m sorry, and you give me forgiveness. Sucks! Now that is a mood. Just like tired, scared, horny, sad, lonely, stupid, mad, effed, insane, dead…

And the only gift in a box I wanted, I gave myself. And it doesn’t even have my name, love. Braxton. Do I want to make myself out to be Pandora? I’ve been looking at Braxton’s “grave” more and more because of what rests under the drawer beneath it. Hope? Peace? Christmas is the time for that, playing the STUPIDEST Stevie Wonder tunnage “Someday At Christmas.” But lover, this is the day after, meaning it’s time to return to normal. Tuesday, yeah, right! I can still hear the fans blowing. And even with them, I can hear how I’m letting down my family. “Give love on Christmas day. No greater gift is there than love.” To be in the mood, but… To B Moody Virgil.

1059 Days Without B III, Day 500 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 176 ~BelieVe With B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Christmas Eve, and I still believe… in Santa? Nope! But I’ll watch the NORAD Santa Tracker. It was a tradition for Braxton and I. We weren’t big on the whole Jesus thing. But we had each other. And now I’m anything but a wise man “BelieVe With B, V.”

Sunday, December 24, 2023

Tale 176 ~BelieVe With B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. After yesterday’s debacle… can’t wait until Monday. Anyway, today, I’m tryin’ real hard to be the shepherd.

Or the little drummer boy… What about a wise man? Considering Braxton was your savior, why not be the father? Joseph, not God. No Mary?

Anyway, here you are on Christmas Eve. I wish I could say that while I looked up music yesterday, it was all about Christmas. No worries. While I wasn’t in the best state of mind, you have a Christmas playlist ready to go. Ma’s Traditions, you know. Listening to Christmas music all day. I can’t say I’ve seen anything with holiday cheer. Well, short of Mary Cherry’s reaction to The Muppets Christmas Carol. Oh, what about tonight and Christmas? Music, TV, to drown out the fans… uh, it’s hard being the shepherd. Happy thoughts or like doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “His Christmas Harem,” “Snow Help Me”
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Of course, you’ll keep reading Christmas stories… of a particular variety. You know, the kind that you can’t speak out loud to Virgil. But at the very least, you were on the couch with V. A wise man must study. But I doubt most did it from bed. No, they were far too busy following the stars in the sky. And you’re looking to the stars on the internet. Right? Speaking of which. As The Killers sang, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Christmas music, remember? Hell! When you finally decide to “c’mon get happy,” you will be old enough to be a wise man. Three old men showing up with stuff to some young girl who’s a virgin… Uh yeah, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Sometime This Week
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Keep trying to be the shepherd. It’s like your happy, no, good, nah, soft thoughts. Christmas thoughts. Those gentle memories keep getting picked off by wolves at every opportunity. And again, it’s Christmas Eve. You should be better than this. And what exactly does that mean here at thirty-nine? Christmas Eve morning started with tears. There’d be no need to if you didn’t believe. Maybe not in Santa, but always and forever in Little Braxton. If Santa is still around, so is your son. That’s your job. He’s your gift. You can believe this day won’t be as horrible, and Virgil will become courageous. Yeah, he’s in Braxton’s room now. Will you shepherd him, your thoughts, anything good on this Christmas? BelieVe With B, V

1057 Days Without B III, Day 498 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 171 ~Virgil’s Questionable Manhood B~

WillLeave a comment

There’s paperwork around here saying when 2V lost his balls. And a few days ago, I had a floor beneath my feet. You know what those things have in common. Hmm? I’m not looking up either one. Because I’m no kind of man. Virgil’s Questionable Manhood B

Tuesday, December 19, 2023

Tale 171 ~Virgil’s Questionable Manhood B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… but I’m not a repairman, a janitor, or a groundskeeper. A friend, a father, F…er

As in, “Feel like makin’ love to you.” No, my love. If I had to sum up how I’m feeling… Creep would have to be the word. Hell! I feel like my boys at this particular moment. I mean, dead and with no balls. Braxton and Virgil, respectively. How is it I would choose the life of a dog? At the same time, both of them are better men than me. What is a man?

How To Be A Man
How To Be The Man
What Makes A Monster And What Makes A Man
What Makes A Good Man
I Would Fall In Love With A Dead Man (I Misheard)

I hope you heard me right that I misheard that last one from “The Matrix” My Trinity and I’m Neo…

Oh No, my love! I’m no one. Or at least that’s what I wish I could say. If I had my way, I would never say anything again. I would have died right there beside my firstborn son, 1052 days ago. “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” Hell! I never left. Existence has been putting one foot in front of the other. And my first step. You know, “towards the grave, you know the box awaits its grisly load.” And as for the other shoe to drop, well… look at the damn floor. It’s not like I need to worry about the critic today, my love. There are bigger fish to fry. It’s funny that this all started with a flood.

I don’t know if Virgil can swim. And you know I can’t. Yet somehow, I survived the tears that came with Braxton’s death. And as for my own? Not yet, I “Woke Up This Morning.” And again, I’m late taking Virgil outside. So what? He can stand in the yard, doing his best impression of a zombie, tombstone, or a mess. Yes, look at the floor, my love. A man provides. And “unconditional love’s for women, children, and dogs.” I’m still 39, my love. No! I was 36 when Little B died. I can’t return to 0, and I’m not looking at 40. Love, a man chooses, a slave obeys. I’m not a man or slave. I am The Walking Dead. Virgil’s Questionable Manhood B

1052 Days Without B III, Day 493 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 169 ~B Embarrassing Me V~

WillLeave a comment

The two most embarrassing moments of my existence happened inside hospital rooms. My birth and my son’s death. I failed both of us. And since I’m still here… Well, Humiliations Galore. But not from my son or my roommate B Embarrassing Me V.

Sunday, December 17, 2023

Tale 169 ~B Embarrassing Me V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And in case I haven’t told you enough, I… I hate you. Way to start the morning

A bit of advice. It ain’t like that. Excuse me; it isn’t like that. “That Ain’t Right! It ain’t right. It isn’t right. That s… is wrong! It’s dead wrong!” Channeling my inner Chris Rock. Do you remember The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident? I don’t think it was the sickness and the pain that got to me so much. Hell! I prayed to join B III at The Rainbow Bridge or wherever “Some Nights.” Anyway, it was having to look at myself, having to look at you, that had me rushing to a doctor. Now, that was embarrassing, right? Speaking of embarrassing doctor’s visits. Me having to lie about my health. “Is It A Crime?” What about accepting Braxton’s death? Or failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING On the Boss’s Naughty List (Erotica?)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Is it embarrassing that you’ve lost the mission so quickly? Or that you have added at least six pop culture references before getting out of bed. Well, other than to face me. To see yourself today. And what did you see? For the most part, it’s Monday. But no one can hurt you. Sunday, Hell every day! You can take solace in this. You will do the most damage by being the monster you are. The people tomorrow… I mean, “Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday” by comparison. I am “My Own Worst Enemy.” You’re learning that quickly this morning. It’s not a “Sunday In The Sky,” not for you anyway. Braxton’s lucky. What about Virgil Vivi? It’s embarrassing that you’re late taking him out. Another Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING His Christmas Harem: The Complete Series
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Okay, what about the six things that are embarrassing me right now? Count them, Will!

  1. My son is still dead, and Virgil deserves better
  2. They’re fixing the floor tomorrow, and you have no money. Your Old Man’s checking.
  3. You’ve got plenty of secrets: weapons, clothes, toys. And Virgil can’t hold his bladder.
  4. The last time the house was cleaned was for Braxton’s Aunt Carolina. Cleaning now?
  5. The Day Job sucks
  6. I offended my Ma by asking her age yesterday…

He looks at me. And I look at him. Then he looks at me, and I look at him… Humiliations Galore. Except for that single day, the Old Man visited. Braxton jumped into my arms. Hero? B Embarrassing Me V

1050 Days Without B III, Day 491 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 164 ~They’ll B Air Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Follow Your Nose? Do I look like Toucan Sam? And I intend to be a man of leisure, not some random mouth breather. So, I write books? Nope! All the huffing and puffing I do. Women, work, worrying about the house’s mildew scent. “They’ll B Air Virgil.”

Tuesday, December 12, 2023,

Tale 164 ~They’ll B Air Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… Even when we’re on the beach. And I’m still here typing away—my favorite dream.

Sigh… Is that of relief? Regret? Or do I want to rant? It’s a relief that I no longer have the old Day Job. That same breath I used to call out to Braxton whenever I returned. “Just me, Baby B, I would say.” I’ve been holding it lately, but not because of you or Virgil. Baby Doll, it’s been hard. I keep saying that I know. It’s been 1045 days and counting. And I still can’t describe Braxton’s scent when he cuddled beside me. I miss it like crazy. Now there’s only mold and mildew, and I need to spend a lot more money on diapers… Or teach Virgil that he has to go outside for a reason. I’m glad I’m better at business.

Open mouth and insert foot, right? I’ve never been one for talking love. My personality. Cult of Personality. I’ll sing all day long. I’ve even found myself singing to Virgil from time to time. And then there’s playing with our kids, teaching, reading before bedtime. And what do we do after the children are put to bed… Sometimes, “It Seems Like You’re Ready.” Uh, all of the time because… well… You want to know that I’m still breathing. Or at least it seems like I want to. I have your love and the memory of my firstborn son, my love. I have things to keep me breathing. That’s not the question. It’s going about it. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not that simple, Baby Girl.

This is probably why I do my best Jay Sherman impression and become the most critical critic of my existence. It stinks. I so need to learn to shut up. Don’t waste my breath. Ha! But I won’t turn to cigarettes or, as Todd would say, the “Devil’s Lettuce.” And while I’m on the subject of Eric Vall’s characters. There’s Grayson Price and his thing for vanilla perfume. Your scent can be intoxicating, my dear. Only I should go out and buy some air fresheners for the house, with all the trouble. The smell of cash. “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

I need to take a deep breath and be thankful for it. I’m always trying, my love. Breathing’s the hardest thing? They’ll B Air Virgil?

1045 Days Without B III, Day 486 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will