Tag: Lust

Journey 052 ~There’ll B Reading, Virgil~

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Required reading. I’m sure I was assigned one book in school that I liked. Not that I can remember. Shakespeare? And now I’m expected to read how the effing MAGA Cracker Hats saved the day. Or why I’m poisoning ants wrong. There’ll B Reading, Virgil.

Friday, August 22, 2025

Journey 052 ~There’ll B Reading, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But not mine or Braxton’s. Now his potential stepmom… Two words, “C*ck Worship.” That’s good reading.

I could have started reading Virgil’s book. No, not my son, but the Roman poet. Instead, Amazon informed me of Double Points Day today. So this morning it was either “The Aeneid” or “My Turn To B III.” So I understand why I’m not selling any books, still at 0.

I wish I could say that about MAGA. I swear those effing Cracker Hats! But isn’t that why I ended last year and began this year reading about their plans? For a refresher, my Lady:

  1. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
  2. 1984 by George Orwell
  3. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  4. It Can’t Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis
  5. We by Yevgeny Zamyatin
    And what now, hmm?

I’m reviewing Backyard Dungeon 19:

Perfect Ten In The Backyard:
But only four out of five stars? Why is that? There’s always room for improvement or another addition. Eddie is working on getting that tenth wife, amongst other grand ideas.

As for my ideas on this book… Well, having finished nineteen of them, and I plan on getting the twentieth, I’d say I’m a fan. Though I feel Logan Jacobs is getting a tad desperate, judging by the endings. That was a good part, but as for my favorite, I’d say when Xung rose to power. But my least favorite was, let’s say, the “White Savior” complex when it came to Cruden. Learned men will like the story overall. And I do, but I can’t say I’d recommend this one.

Well, Sophia, who am I to deliver bad news? “Woke up this mornin’, got yourself a gun,” or instead, I need more Carpenter Ant killer and maybe some superglue. Seriously?

Sometimes I think the WAR is over, but no, I saw two ants. And the day’s still so young. I don’t want to read my bank balance, the bills I have to pay, and how many books I want to buy. And there are big, beautiful Yabbos that want attention. Uh, Cherry and M Anime.

Cherry would never, and as for Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom, M Anime… Her Yabbos are worth way more than a thousand words. I’ll be reading her chest, excuse me, texts soon enough. But E-Day’s bad news. There’ll B Reading, Virgil.

1664 Days Without B III, Day 1105 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 049 ~What’s Bugging B, Virgil~

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What bugs me the most these days? B’s still gone. It’s not wearing a hoodie and carrying Virgil a third of the way on our walks. Effing BUGS! Or checking him after. Or even effing MAGA Cracker Hats. It’s the back wall. “What’s Bugging B, Virgil”

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Journey 049 ~What’s Bugging B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Do I love you enough to STAY? Honestly, “I’m so high, I can hear Heaven.”

But I am no “Hero” as Chad Kroeger sings. Hell! I’m not even Todd Masterson from “Succubus Lord” laying off the wacky tobacky, weed, and the Devil’s Lettuce. Speaking of which, should I lay off the HaremLit novels? I’m on Backyard Dungeon 19, my love.

I’m nearly finished… It is finished… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” I tell myself as I pretend I’m telling you. As I said, I’m high enough to talk to my firstborn son B III. Gone four long years. And then I talk back to him. And let’s not forget about 2-V sitting here.

I’m sure I’m bugging him, jumping up and down, scanning the shed wall. I’m not going to talk about ‘THEM’ today. I’m already annoyed enough.

And not in an I miss Braxton jumping on my head kind of way. Or a Starship Troopers Sugar Watkins “Just trying to kill some bugs, sir,” sort of mood. And dammit, I wish I could stop touching my face. I feel like I’m in 2011’s “Contagion.” Effing Pop Culture!

When I spend every day breathing in toxins, trying to save our home. It’s no wonder I feel so sick. And it gives me plenty of downtime. Not really. But I don’t want to look at the backyard anymore. My B’s territory. No wonder I turn to our two-legged children.

And speaking of territory, my love, you touch me and whisper, “There’s the man I chose
There’s my territory.” Sweetheart.

“You’re a song written by the hands of God.”
Shakira

And you’re not bugging me in the slightest. No baby doll, it’s those “Three Little Birds,” pitch by my doorstep. Ours? Mine because I can’t blame this failure on you. A man provides, protects, and “Pop’s the P—sy.” Seriously, must I be so vulgar… “Rise up this mornin’. Smiled with the risin’ sun.” I haven’t done that in weeks, maybe months, my “Sweet Love.” I mean, not woken up with tears in my eyes. We were making Sweet Love listening to Anita Baker last night. One more reason I wanted to stay, my beloved.

Honestly, I hate this effing wall I’m looking at. And I don’t want to cry, spray more chemicals, or cringe. I just want to close my eyes and find my Braxton. What’s Bugging B, Virgil?

1661 Days Without B III, Day 1102 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 045 ~B Grading V’s Backyard~

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Well, I’ve been at it for a week. Carpenter Ants are chewing through wood like I’m chewing through paper—that lean, mean, mean green. Almighty dollar! B III would be appalled, and 2-V doesn’t want to look at the yard anymore. “B Grading V’s Backyard”

Friday, August 15, 2025

Journey 045 ~B Grading V’s Backyard~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How am I losing Braxton’s Backyard? I think I’m growing to vomit. Eww! Cappuccino, Jelly Beans…

I need to watch what goes into my body. Why do you think I’m so late today? Because I would rather read about what Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, wants in her body. Vis-à-vis me. Again, Eww! I mean, about me writing about it, Sophia. We’ll get there.

For now, don’t I owe you a book review, book report, or a jobs report, since “My Turn To B III” has been out a week? I told the other girls, Braxton’s Favorite, my girl M Anime, and Cherry. What I haven’t told the Olds? Like how I can’t pay to fix the destroyed shed?

Braxton would be appalled at what’s become of his territory. The Long Walk for him out there. Speaking of Backyards:

18+ And “Backyard” Sorrow
Well, Eddie has not gone that far with any of his wives as of yet. But this is still an excellent series. Hell, if I’m still here. My fandom of Logan Jacobs. As far as what stood out to me with this eighteenth book. I suppose you stick with what brought you to the dance. No bells or whistles, another solid tale. I do enjoy the lovely dovey moments. Another marriage. No, not for Eddie this time. And everything that was required to enter the Realm of Sorrows. But the ending… I think this one was a bit tamer than the other books. Seeing as I’m also a fan of Eric Vall, you get solid adult relations. Sad, safe, and super.

Okay, that’s one more book review down. Why is it that I tend to find the right book for what I’m dealing with? The house is crumbling, so I get a book of sadness whose realm is a crumbling house. Sophia, you know I’ve been more into The Long Walk.

“Welcome To My Life.” Simple Plan, right? Did you think you’d get out of here without a song? But that’s how loud it’s got, my lady. The weeping and gnashing of teeth. My weeping and god, how many Carpenter Ant teeth? I’ve smashed one today. But I feel so sick. And even Virgil’s hanging around upstairs. No need to keep watch with me, I guess. What will M Anime think? Degrading. B Grading V’s Backyard.

1657 Days Without B III, Day 1098 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 042 ~B Stays Put Virgil~

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I’m a “published” author. I work retail. I wish I were an exterminator. I got a woman who wants me as a husband. We want to be parents… Someday. I’ll always be B and V’s Dad. Mr. Clark said he only needed to stay black and… Anyway, B Stays Put Virgil

Tuesday, August 12, 2025

Journey 042 ~B Stays Put Virgil~

https://a.co/d/dKxDhhB

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And where does that love go? “Everything Everywhere All At Once.” Haven’t seen that movie…

Do I want to be on our couch or love seat right now? We’ll get to that. But how am I? How is my day? Um, anywhere but here sounds nice. I’m not talking about you or where I’m working right now. If anything, it’s in my own skin. I feel like Agent Smith, love.

“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it.”
Agent Smith, The Matrix

That’s not posh, polite, or politically correct. Anything sounds better than being a MAGA Cracker Hat. Anyway, where would I like to be right now? I’m eyeballing the ground now.

Honestly, the back porch is dirty. The dirt, wood, and Carpenter Ants, where B isn’t.

No, his ashes are on the nightstand. And your husband is trapped in a vet’s office on Sunday, January 31, 2021. This shouldn’t be scary.

Being a man. Being alive. Breathing. Breathe in, Breathe out. If FEAR would follow suit.

No, my love, FEAR stays where it is, like Cancer. It grows, and I don’t have the money to fix it. Hell, I don’t have money for more pesticides, woodworking, or even a power wash.

And I shouldn’t talk about Cancer. Am I that eager to join Braxton and leave his little brother Virgil? And what about you, and those two-legged puppies we consider children?

I have to stay put, but that’s not the truth, is it? A husband, a father, and a man moves. Forgive me for sounding like a Cracker Hat, but I’m starting to see the appeal of homemakers. But I’m failing to protect our home, love.

And I wouldn’t blame you for going all Nelly Furtado “I’m Like A Bird.” But to quote a man in a hat, hopefully not a Cracker Hat. What it’s not like I’m looking up politics:

“You belong here… with me.”
― Christof, The Truman Show

Staying. If only my Old Man had kept his pants on, I could have stayed in Hell where I belong. But now there’s E-Day, “Existence Day.” The second worst day, next to when B died. You and I have spoken about expanding our family. Where do I belong, my love?

Inside you. I can hear the other two-leggeds go, “eww, Dad!” If I could only stay that, my love. But a man must be many things, and scared isn’t one. In your arms. In a box. B Stays Put, Virgil.

1654 Days Without B III, Day 1095 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 038 ~Braxton Pledges Virgil’s Oath~

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How many times did I promise myself I would write at the table in honor of my son? And now I’m here because of the damage Carpenter Ants did to the shed, and I don’t want my Old Man kicking my ass. An oath I can’t keep. Braxton Pledges, Virgil’s Oath

Friday, August 8, 2025

Journey 038 ~Braxton Pledges Virgil’s Oath~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Didn’t I do that yesterday when I put my ‘novel’ “My Turn To B III” out?

Well, in 72 hours, according to Amazon. It’s a much better story than the two Carpenter Ants I spotted yesterday. Maybe one. All I know is I caught one on the wall and something bit me. Only I squashed it too fast to know precisely what it was. I’m scared.

Only my lady, can I say I’m a man of my word? I did as I pledged to Braxton… And Virgil too. I kept my promise. I placated my FEAR. A definite NO to that last one. I’m always afraid. And that’s why I’m here again, squishing and squashing buttons and not Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime’s yabbos. Honestly pledges, oaths… Vows! Lady Sophia, we’ll get to that, but first, another Book Review:

So What Are Pledges For:
I won’t plead the fifth on this one. Pledged To Him 4: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Four) by Neil Bimbeau is a pretty fantastic read, but AHEM!

Wanting, needing book number five. Like a man wanting Mambo No. 6. We got Kiki, Sam, Maria, Marcie… Come on, don’t tell me I’m the only one thinking, Uncle Harry.

Excuse me, Uncle Jack, as Dirty Harry sort of vibes. Anyway, of course, the best part, as if no one could see this ten miles down the road, is Yukiko and Samantha with Jack. Geez!

Sweet Summer Child that Marcie is. My “girlfriend” isn’t one for sharing, so I wouldn’t share this with her. But people of a particular lifestyle…

So, back to the present, my lady. I should pledge to stop using ellipses since pretty much every ‘critic’ hates it. But you know what I hate? Making an oath I won’t keep, my lady.

Which would you prefer: a pledge I can’t keep or an oath I won’t keep? It’s the same, my lady. It’s like saying I can’t publish a book about B and I won’t become “Successful.”

Sophia, it’s out there like Trey Songz & Drake. Umm, eww! I can’t defend Braxton and Virgil’s home, and I won’t find the Carpenter Ant nest. I sprayed Spectracide yesterday.

There’s the FACT that I can’t be the man M Anime needs, and she won’t love me. She wants to know. Braxton Pledges, Virgil’s Oath

“I pledge to get their foot off my neck. Instead, I shall demand my respect. I’ll fight, even if I won’t win. Alright, the beginning is the end.

I pledge to make the bosses cringe. Instead, we’ll get some justified ends, I’ll fight til the system is gone. Recite this ex-loser’s song.

Alright motherfckers Fight Motherfckers”
The Oath, Song by Street Sweeper Social Club (2009)

1650 Days Without B III, Day 1091 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

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I shouldn’t have to rely on FEAR to get me out of bed in the morning to look at a wall outside like I’m one of the MAGA Cracker Hats watching the border. But my boys live here. Their potential stepmom wants to visit this winter. “B Leaning On Virgil”

Tuesday, August 5, 2025

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? You’re my shoulder to lean on. Or should I sing “look over your shoulders, honey!”

“I’ll Be There.” But I’m not Michael Jackson. Hell! I don’t have Neil Bimbeau’s bank.

Honestly, how much can one make in the “HaremLit” genre? Enough to survive and for the family. And I’m still leaning heavily on Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III.” Well, if I ever published it. I’d cry about it, but that’s one of the reasons I ignore your advice of “Put Your Head on My Shoulder.” Seriously, I would rather cry in your lap as I told Braxton yesterday.

The only way to make my wife wet. Braxton and Virgil don’t need to hear that! But I would cry on Braxton’s shoulder? Excuse me, his Scapulohumeral Joints. And Virgil?

He’s leaning against me, keeping me upright like Pete McVries.

Richard Bachman/Stephen King’s The Long Walk. First, am I back on that again? I saw the second trailer, and I’m not sure I’ll have enough paper for September 12th. Secondly, isn’t Braxton my Pete McVries? Virgil is more my Stebbins. You, my love, are Jan.

Everything you had to offer me. All of yourself. And I just passed by. Don’t I trust you, my love? Don’t I want you? I am as adamant as I am about wanting children. I’m not one to laugh much. Oh, I do! But the live part. More like the creation of life. And love.

Broken heart and all, “I Got Nothing But Love For You Baby.” The Five Heartbeats. You, Virgil, our three two-legged kids. My heart was Braxton.

Carpenter Ants don’t have hearts. I have that in common with my GREAT enemy, hmm.

Speaking of which, I’m leaning on the “Spectracide Terminate Termite & Carpenter Ant Killer AccuShot Sprayer,” and the recent cold snap to protect the house. This is only the second day that I haven’t spotted an ant scurrying out of a hole they made, love.

I’m a man, a husband, a Dad, I shouldn’t be leaning on you. Well, except in the throes of passion. “After all, you’re my Wonderwall.” I can’t even keep the walls of our home up.

“If he can keep his knuckles up all night, imagine what his willy can do.”
― Far and Away 1992

I lean forward in killing BUGS, BUGS! I lean back for your favorite position, love. I lean left against MAGA Cracker Hats. You’re my right hand. B Leaning On Virgil

1647 Days Without B III, Day 1088 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 031 ~These Dang B’s Virgil~

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What’s it like to read a B on your paper when you want an A? I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t all that bright in school. My head was always in a book. But the books I’m reading now are a tad more interesting. Then there’s the bad news. These Dang B’s Virgil

Friday, August 1, 2025

Journey 031 ~These Dang B’s Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I could tell you about the reading test I failed in the sixth grade. Uh, why?

I’m not STUPID! Now that is a lie! But I can tell the difference between a dog and a cat, Sophia. “Only God Knows Why.” Uh, because I have my boys, Braxton and Virgil. And their potential stepmom has cats. Also, I like when she uses the term p*ssy. (Drools).

But that comes later. If I can tell the difference between A’s and B’s, Archie (renamed Virgil) and Braxton. Why don’t I know the difference between Ants and Bees? Seriously.

It’s been a day and a half since I’ve seen a Carpenter Ant. Did I find the nest? Did the poison get to them? I still can’t rest. Aren’t I sitting in bed again? What I need is to relax and review another book today:

Pledged In Three Or More
It’s safe to assume with Owned, Princess Tamer, and now Pledged To Him, that I’m a fan of Neil Bimbeau. Long story short, or short story shorter, I like this. I’m noticing this author’s works have always had a somewhat edgy tone. Though the Pledged to Him series has a bit more bite. The sex is always good. Of course, the best part has to be the sweet, sexy, submissive Yukiko aka Kiki. Next to that would have to be Samantha’s call and how understanding Kiki was with it. I recommend this story to any guy who would rather have a tablet in one hand instead of a mouse. It seems a tad more educational… With a TOUCH of love.

Speaking of love, Sophia. I like, uh, really like reading M Anime’s text. And I have to get back to answering her today. Because reading anything else short of Neil Bimbeau’s work makes my eyes hurt. But when I have my girl, my woman, M Anime… I think B III would be proud up on the Rainbow Bridge. He had a Favorite girl of his own, and now I could tell him someday, “Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag,” with his future stepmom. “I Believe.”

So she says. She wants me to be the one and only. It beats reading about different ant poisons, a grocery bill, or even the Taco Bell menu. And I still haven’t finished Braxton’s book dedication… These Dang B’s Virgil.

Dedication
For Braxton Barks Bradford, my B III and firstborn son
If life is a game, love is your instructions
I didn’t pour the Bisquick, but you’ll always be my pancake
a sweet bond of father and son, woven in every memory
Always and forever
My little one, now as tall and high as any king
Eternally, always your Daddy

1643 Days Without B III, Day 1084 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

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If I get too high, I’ll have no air. If I stay in my blood, ‘sweat’ and tears, I’ll drown. How dare I ask a girl to “Follow Me?” Better to be Uncle Kracker or Uncle/Dirty Harry than a MAGA Cracker Hat. My boys are better men. High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I say that without crying? I don’t want to look at myself. The time…

Hell! “Everyday Day Is Exactly The Same,” Sunday, January 31, 2021, to be precise, love. The day my honest to God… (God? Honest? Ha!) Anyway, the day that love died. Honestly, my Braxton hasn’t moved from the table in the vet’s office, the top of my nightstand, or the tippy top of my mind in four years. Again, 1640 days to be accurate, give or take a few hours. And what could I be doing in “These Final Hours,” beloved?

Trying to remember our wedding day? Dangerous words, right? I cried then and now. A trick of Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She told me that if her man wasn’t crying when she walked down the aisle, she was going back up. UP, higher ground, high ground…

What am I angling for? A movie night with you? To be “Drowning in your love.” Damn, Csapunch (Chrissy Allen) and her trip to see the Backstreet Boys. One more reason my eyes are all watery. I’ll burn my eyes out of my skull with all the social media BS.

Distractions. Like all these movies. “UP” shows us a ‘happy’ life in the first few minutes. The fanfare of all these apocalyptic movies, where the good guys always survive, my love. And the high ground… If you didn’t know that was a Star Wars reference, we wouldn’t be married. A few steps below my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Then our two-legged children, don’t talk badly about Star Wars. Why am I up in the clouds?

I think I’m higher than that. And that’s why I’m looking up. Would my head explode in space? How do I explain to you what’s happening to me, my love? My heart is bleeding and broken in this “Mad Season.” This “Cruel Summer,” with my “Summertime Sadness,” baby girl. And fearing I might drown from it all, the flood, I am seeking higher ground. Like “B.o.B.” I’m looking at “Airplanes” for a wish. My B is up there, and so I “get higher, baby, and don’t ever come down!” I’m not on drugs, but I feel like I could die.

How do I “Even” it out like Julien Baker sings about? Sometimes, all I need is “The Air That I Breathe.” High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

“Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe.
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe.
Yes, to love you”
― The Hollies

1640 Days Without B III, Day 1081 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 024 ~Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton~

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I finished “Pledged To Him 2,” everything except the previews. I read the words of my friends, who just happen to be girls. And what about my boys? Asleep. B forever. And V needs food to eat, not books to read. Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton

Friday, July 25, 2025

Journey 024 ~Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, and I have been talking about lots of…

Things my boys don’t need to hear. Ha! My boys, my men, as I’m their Dad, “turning Bad Boys to grown men, it’s on again,” And while “Starin’ Through My Rear View” with my “Toy Soldiers…” Really, Sophia, Tupac, and Eminem? I’m trying to behave. And Gangsta sh*t beats talking about sex. Now that is a lie. But besides lies, what am I trying not to read these days? It’s Friday, July 25, 2025. Congratulations! Failing to publish B’s book.

Speaking of failure, I couldn’t keep IT in my pants this morning. Otherwise, I would have said some dirty stuff to Cherry. She and her Mum are going through “Hard Times” financially. They don’t need Paramore. Or me talking about them sans clothing. Book reviews:

“Wax On, Wax Off Pledge”
In this second installment of the Pledged To Him series, the stakes are a little less dire. And yet we continue with the Why so serious tone… I like it. While I’m not a hopelessly devoted fan of Neil Bimbeau, having only read the Princess Tamer: A LitRPG Harem Adventure series before reading Pledged To Him 2: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Two). The guy knows how to make a great ‘climactic’ scene. SPOILER between Maria and Kiki. But there’s always the whisper of something bad coming. But not this series. As I mentioned about the first one, it is a bit darker, which some may prefer. This one had a different flavor. If my boys were readers…

Okay, so that’s one more review down. Do I want to read “Pledged To Him 3: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Three)?” I don’t want to read that my account is empty because of another zero on my paycheck. Zero working hours, Sophia.

Seriously, what would M Anime say? “Don’t (come) on my face!” Yeah, M Anime and I are having those conversations. Hard Limits, Soft Limits. That would be a Soft Limit, or she says she’s conflicted. But not on “Vis-à-vis my progeny.” Two-legged kids, someday, huh?

Having children isn’t the plan… per se. But if it happens… I want to foster a love of reading in our children. But in the MAGA Cracker Hat world. I’m losing. Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton

1636 Days Without B III, Day 1077 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

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I was supposed to buy a big yard for B. I don’t know how Virgil feels about living here. And myself? I’m looking for a box, or to go up to space. This rock’s annoying. “Too many men, too many people, making too many problems.” Yet Homes For B, Virgil

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And if you’re a fan of Christmas. Well, that’s one more thing to apologize for.

I swear I almost started our conversation with “I’ll B Home,” which goes all the way back to Tale 066 ~ I’ll B Home Virgil~ on Tuesday, September 5, 2023, to be precise. Everything in its place, My Love. So why am I sitting here this afternoon listening to this monstrosity?

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” Effing Christmas In July! Effing Hallmark Channel! Or was it QVC? Whatever! This is what happens when your poor excuse for a husband is sitting on his ass “writing” about my euthanized son. Make it plain. Braxton is gone. And Virgil is sitting on his pillow wanting some attention. “But you don’t look ashamed, and baby, I’m not scared.” I wish I could sing that. I wish it were true.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you were ashamed of me. And honestly, I’m effing terrified.

“FEAR does not exist in this dojo!” Only it’s not that. This is our home. And it’s not you that’s following me. “Follow Me.” Where to? No, it’s my Braxton who followed me for fifteen years. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, he decided to follow me for four more years and then some.

I’m not effing MAGA! I’m not an effing Cracker Hat! And me as President… Seriously!

My Love, I want to be a good husband, father, if anything, Just A Man. But I have no place.

Where do my furry sons go? My sins. And what about my “sausage.” Sorry, I’m both hungry and horny. It’s been a long day, baby.

I’m trying to make space. I’m trying to “Hold Space” as in “The Book of Clarence.” Am I ever going to get off of this loveseat? For you, my Sputnik, my crazy Satellite Girl, anything.

I’m not one for cutesy nicknames. But that song from Jerry Engler and the Four Ekkos does it for me. Yeah, it was lying with you on a Sunday Morning that led to me ‘filling you up’. Next thing we know, we need a bigger house to make a home for all of Braxton and Virgil’s two-legged siblings. But what else needs a home? Money? Not much of that left. Making room in my heart for more Love. You, our children. I’m big, small, nothing.

Homeless. Homes For B, Virgil.

“Welcome to my world (welcome to my world)
Welcome to my only world (my only world)
It is full of space junk
But your words are coming through
I’m riding on the space junk
And it’s bringing me to you.”

1633 Days Without B III, Day 1074 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will