Saga 064 ~B, V, Are Fans~

“And I’ll be better when I’m older. I’ll be the greatest fan of your life,” as the song plays on and the beat goes on. I’m not much of a fan of Morgan Freeman now. But V keeps looking at me like I’m the president and can save us. B, V, Are Fans

Saturday, September 3, 2022

Saga 064 ~B, V, Are Fans~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there’s cash to fan me. But coming to you today… there are only tears.

Anybody that doesn’t think tears cool has never met Lucifer or committed an act of Treachery. So why am I crying at six in the morning? Hell! It should have been four, but whatever, Lunalesca. Anyway, the first thought on my mind wasn’t Virgil sleeping next to me but my lost Braxton. Not a day goes by where I don’t replay how Braxton died, Lu. Right now, it’s that scene from Angel “A Hole in the World” S5.E15. Wesley, Winfred! Only as the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” or God, whatever. I would sacrifice the whole world; I would lose my soul; anything that could have saved my boy’s life. But there was nothing but an easy death. A murder Lunalesca.

“I’m not scared. I’m not scared. I’m not scared. Please, (Daddy). Why can’t I stay?” A Hole in the World

Not by the vets but by thy own hand. The worse day of this entire existence. Speaking of which, next to Braxton’s dying day is E-Day. To be 38? How did I spend last night? Virgil and I lied here under one of two fans in the house. In case you’re wondering, I carried him out into the cool air at five, which is much better than being here with me. He needed a bathroom break. After, I had to beg him to take food and water. He’s alone now. But all night, he cuddled close to me as if to say, “I know you can save us.” At the price of a few thousand or more… No, I can’t. But getting out of bed?

If I go anywhere today, it will be to get him a fan or some sort of small AC for his room. V comes before me. Yeah, like B, these batteries, or any set of bazongas that’ll have me, Lu. I can’t look forward to any of those for E-Day, huh? No girl can abide in this heat, I know. If a man wants an angel, he must make a Heaven for her. Unless you’re Jacob, who had two fallen angels and his Ariel. The things I wasted money on at the expense of fans. Braxton, Virgil. And now that the shit has hit the fan… I really need a new one. Dante had Beatrice and Virgil cheering him on. Myself? B, V, Are Fans.

580 Days Without B III, Day 021 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 063 ~B Reading V’s List~

Despite my GOP ideas, I’m glad there are few books to burn here. Except for the few I wrote hoping to get published, that would help with the AC bill. Like I said, I rather burn. And if it wasn’t for poor Virgil, Fur baby he is. “B Reading V’s List.”

Friday, September 2, 2022

Saga 063 ~B Reading V’s List~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now (cut to “This Is Why I’m Hot”) sigh. There’s no time for music, money, or masturbation.

Hell! With how I worked this week, B would be pissed. It’s a week like this one that led to his death. And at least he didn’t have to sit in this heat and suffer. So why let V, hmm? Between reading “Dante’s Inferno,” and (daddy doesn’t exist) … will get to that. I’ve looked over the Adoption Kit I got almost three weeks ago. Notice it didn’t say anything about AC. And I got enough good sense to not lock a fur baby in the car. Good sense, ha! As I said, daddy doesn’t exist. Well, not mine, anyway. I refuse to call my father again for the AC. My Republican tendencies… talk about a conspiracy theory. Do I think he rigged the AC?

Hey, it could happen. Yeah, like me growing up. To quote a hot English blonde that almost made me cum… sorry, Cherry. “Oh, My Fucking God!” Do you realize how close I am to E-Day? If anything, it looks like September 3, 2022, will be a humongous day. Shouldn’t I make a list of everything going on? It would only be a bunch of excuses when there’s so much I should be doing right now. I should be thinking of Virgil’s health, right? How about my own? Of course, there’s only one thing on the list besides sex. No, I don’t mean “Success.” I need some sleep, as the song goes. Only there’s a “long” list. It’s been nine days Sophia. Horny much? Failure yes!

Which is why Virgil is sitting in his room. It’s his choice. The doors are open, and the gates are down. He could walk in here whenever he wants. I went to take Virgil outside. Inevitably (like my fuck you’s to Hemingway). Virgil went into panic mode, so no go. Some things that get to me about Virgil… Yet one more list I should make. Yes, like the one about why I got him in the first place. Ironic, don’t you think I found Virgil, and now I’m marching through Hell daily? But what about the lesson I “learned” from my Braxton? A cold day in Hell… Such was my Treachery. My greatest sin. To betray Virgil Vivi, living this way. B Reading V’s List.

579 Days Without B III, Day 020 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 062 ~Between B and V~

Between B and V… what do I look like, Sesame Street or place? A monster but a lot less cute, not that I can think of things like that right now. I have a fur baby next to me, and I wonder who he is. Do I even know what day it is? Between B and V

Thursday, September 1, 2022

Saga 062 ~Between B and V~

578 Days Without B III, Day 019 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s the “1st Of Tha Month,” and I’m talking to you… Wednesday, August 24, 2022.

I’m not sure anymore. By this time, I suppose I’ll be reading another book on reincarnation, trying to decide. If anything, I choose you, Braxton. Nothing against Virgil. Hell! I’ve spent most of today with him sleeping beside me. A bonding experience to share tomorrow… I should, but the idea that we’re talking well today? You know by the time you read this, I’ve had a day full of Humiliations Galore. Of course, your grandpa is always a million times worse. It’s not the fleshlight I keep in the bathroom, the recent gnat infestation B. Nor is it your destroyed pillow. I’m so sorry, Braxton. It’s a fact I couldn’t hide Virgil from him today. You know how I tried. What his being here means…

If anything, I ain’t happy. Like the song goes, “And in this moment I am happy, happy. I wish you were here.” To be around your grandpa once again? I wouldn’t want that for you. But then again, who are you, what are you, where are you? Between you, Virgil? Again reading all about repose, release, and reincarnation. Can’t I read more about a “Succubus?” Ha-Ha! The song I sang is from a band called “Incubus.” An easy choice, B III. If only all of existence was like that. That’s something that Virgil has over you, and again I’m sorry. I haven’t done anything to change my… let’s say, the status of existence since he’s been here, but I wish. As Republicans think, “Furries” have a way of complicating things.

Speaking of complicated, again. I’m talking to you today telling you these things, and what about tomorrow? Ask the Day Job. I chose to chat with you today because of well today. And tomorrow? That’s August 25, 2022. I’ll talk to you instead of going to the Day Job. Money? Haven’t I been talking about being so broke? I choose zero over the pittance, right? Everything that is between us, or is there nothing at all? I keep looking at Virgil lying here like you once did… do now? I don’t know anything. My ABCs and 123’s? And sometimes death seems so close, then far away. The reason Virgil is between me and the nightstand. Your shrine but in the drawer… Between B and V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 061 ~B Nice, V’s Mad~

Don’t write angry or do? I read before you should pick a subject you’re pissed about and use that as your catalyst. Black men, women, southern living, and a dog. Hell! Am I a Republican? But I’m not above the law of existence. “B Nice, V’s Mad.”

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Saga 061 ~B Nice, V’s Mad~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and seeing how it’s only Friday, August 26, 2022; I’m still mad as Hell. So, sorry.

By the time you see this well, Wednesday will be the easiest day next to Sunday. I do mean hours-wise. Sundays are never easy, and you know why. Every day, B III is dead. Or is he? I can’t be sure what book I’m reading right now. But I have the papers right here, Echo.

Braxton in a box… $779.56
Fixing The Air Conditioner… $630.00
Birthdays and Boobies attempts… $290.00
To Adopt Virgil Vivi… $150.00

Now, who should I be more pissed at? If I hadn’t become so indifferent towards B, the box wouldn’t have been necessary. His picture frame, two pendants, last meds, presents. Playing the Devil’s Advocate… I got $150 from Braxton’s grandma. And that was used 559 days later for Virgil Vivi…

But over the past three weeks, I have spent $1,070. And all for what? I keep saying this, don’t I, Inspector? I would rather burn. And yes, I am entirely aware (fuck you, Hemingway “LY”) that this is all my fault. Um, the boobs and the boy, sure, but I didn’t fuck up the AC. And again, I have no right to complain when I look at the everyday bills. I swear right now, Inspector. I thought the moment my “father” saw Virgil, if he called him a mutt or anything, I would fight. I’d probably lose (yes fuck you, Hemingway). But to leave, Echo? So back to swearing… if my “father” talks about me paying for other home improvements, he can have this place.

Well, fuck, it’s his anyway, to be precise. Where will I go? What will I do? I can’t take V with me, so I’ll send him back. As they say in The Handmaid’s Tale, by his hand. Mine or his? All I wanted to do this month to Existence/Emergence day is live. Maybe some steak. Hell! Learn more about Virgil and, like Braxton, keep him safe and comfortable. That’s all. Ok, you got me… I could look at some titties too. While I’m here. At the Day Job, “I’m here.” But from the 7th to the 26th… Am I still here on the 31st? And fuck even seeing E-Day Echo. Nice, where B is? Is V mad? I am, I’m here. B Nice, V’s Mad

577 Days Without B III, Day 018 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 060 ~ There’s B, There’s V~

The 26th is full of rage. I’m sure this day will be. The whole damn world fills me with fear and rage, and when I got home… Nope, that place wasn’t home. Where the heart is. In a box with my firstborn? Then there’s V, maybe? There’s B, There’s V

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

Saga 060 ~ There’s B, There’s V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now… and after paying my Olds a million and change, I’d never want to see them again.

Fuck! Braxton is my family, well, before you and our children. Of course, we could talk about your family or my lost boy. Baby Girl, I have spent all day today lost to my rage. Family? You’ve heard me say that the epitome of manhood is fatherhood. I’ve always wanted a family of my own. Home is where the heart is, THEY say. Without you, my heart would be locked in a box on the nightstand. And with a bit in my black pendant. Now love, I haven’t paid much attention to what I’ve been reading. That is, “Animal Reincarnation & Animal Life After Death.” Braxton’s love, anywhere and everywhere. But my “father” has been all over the past few days. You’ll never meet him.

Then there’s Virgil, who he did meet. If it was love, I would have protected the little guy; hid him better. Regarding our two-legged children, I’m going to be all Dan Forester. You know from The Tomorrow War? At least in the beginning. My “father” will never meet his grandchildren from my side. He has my sister for that. The bastard kicked Braxton. But again, what about little Virgil? My love, it has been a hard day. Outside of my rage, there’s nothing. Why do you think I’m so concerned with money? As the song goes, I am a “Real American.” Or when it comes to money, a fucking Republican. Language, I’m sorry. At least I’m not crying over Braxton. But I’m worried about Virgil.

I wouldn’t call him family yet, but his life has value; I have you, our kids, and the in-laws. Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, Cherry… yeah, that’s another subject. There’s even Special K and others because you know me. With Braxton, it is “always.” B III, you, the kids. There is no place for my rage here. My indifference. No home. You know me and my music love, “Son, fear is the heart of love, ” so I never went back. And that’s why my Olds, my sister, and all the family I have short of Braxton and Virgil… The people Baby Doll. My Ma would be mad. I could let you me her someday. I’m here, my rage “let it go.” There’s B, There’s V.

576 Days Without B III, Day 017 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 059 ~Better The Devil You Know~

Times Like These, I need my little angel or devil on my shoulder. As the other devils, I know… My God! More like my dog, my son. There’s Virgil, who knows what he’s seen before me. If the past two weeks were any indication? Better The Devil You Know.

Monday, August 29, 2022

Saga 059 ~Better The Devil You Know~

Two-Hundred and Fifty-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be if I could look the Man in the Mirror in the eye, right?

I don’t know how many times I’m going to say this. But I rather see my little boy, B III. The angel on my shoulder… more like the little devil. If anything, he’s a better man than me, that’s for damn sure. My Braxton, my son. A child makes you more than a parent, J.

“Take away a man’s son, you’ve truly given him nothing left to lose.” ― Zombieland

With Virgil, I don’t know what that makes me right now. While I’m busy quoting Zombieland, what about this, Madam? Only my sister doesn’t know Virgil. I tried hiding him from my “father.” Master Yoda was right; all do or do not… Not saying everything.

“And then I look into my nephew’s eyes
Man, you wouldn’t believe
The most amazing things
That can come from
Some terrible lies” Some Nights

Hell! I’ve learned from so many, and as much as it pains me to say this. That includes my “father.” Man in the Mirror again.

It’s not like I’m completely in the dark about who I am. At the moment, I’m going to be all sorts of pissed at Hemingway for “LY.” Should I talk about all the writing gadgets and gizmos that think they know better than me? To be honest, J, I don’t trust me either. I don’t like me neither. Especially (fuck you, Hemingway) this now. A long ass day Madam. It’s Friday, August 26, 2022. And all day today, “I roared. And I rampaged.” Satisfaction? There is none to be had, but the devil remains on my shoulder. Well, my pocket. My phone is waiting for my “father’s” call. And then there’s Virgil at my feet. Angel, devil, nothing really. Another (fuck you, Hemingway!) Sigh, Fuck!

Yeah, that’s going to get old. I’m sick of old men telling me what to do, despite certain pornos with plaid skirts. And, of course, there’s my B III. An old man worth listening to. When I started talking to you yesterday, the 25th, I wasn’t as angry as this second, Madam Justice. I listened to an old black man. And now I’ll have to face someone way worse. “Father!” Speaking of which. Virgil should be mad that whatever devil put fear into his heart made him be here with me at my worst. I’m not his Daddy. Harsh but a fact, J. The devils I know. And now, broke, busted, butt on the curb or this chair. Sooner, later? Better The Devil You Know.

575 Days Without B III, Day 016 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 058 ~B Counting On V~

“You can count on me.” B never had to say it. And Virgil is counting the days he’s been here. Fifteen, and they’re only getting longer with this horrible week. Sundays, blah! It once was church; now, it’s the day B died. And here’s V. B Counting On V

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Saga 058 ~B Counting On V~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Meanwhile, what happened to remembering the Sabbath day and keeping it holy? For God? Dog named Braxton.

And what about Virgil? The fact that you’re being “forced” to look at yourself today? Hell! Virgil has had to look at you for fifteen days. Has he succumbed to “The horror… the horror…” that is now your existence? What a way to begin the week. But you’ve known worse. I’m not going to tell you to stop doing “that.” Like Virgil and all his hacking fits. Your boy, your best friend, little Braxton, is dead. Well, he died on a Sunday. What do you know now? You gave up a day’s pay to stay here and look at yourself. Pathetic, wasteful. We have yet to see this Thursday, August 25, 2022. They’re coming to fix the air conditioner or not. Not paying that again.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Animal Reincarnation & Animal Life After Death, Brent Atwater
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

That’s how you know it ain’t love yet. If it were only you, better to burn, am I right (sigh)? But if Braxton were here, you would do anything to make him more comfortable. If you must suffer, why not Virgil? B III was one to ride or die. Fuck, how he proved that today. On a Sunday, 574 days ago. And for 15 years, 11 months, you would have taken his place without question. Love at first sight, but how much did you have to give him at once? With Virgil, it is all or nothing. “It hurts my heart,” you said when you left him the first time. And it stopped your heart when you held him the first time. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Dante’s Inferno… Could Be
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yeah, you talked to Triple B, seeing what day it is. He helped you remember. But what about Virgil? How many breaths, beats of your heart, and but I’m tired have there been since he got here? All within 15 days? How many times have you gone back and forth… he’s B, he’s V, hold him always, send him back? Tell me, do you know the score? With B, why keep track? Virgil’s bowls of food and water. There have been several accidents. Not nine? Remember, though; there are nine circles of Hell. You should read Dante’s Inferno, you think. Not that you’ll have that sort of time this week. Time to exist? Isn’t that what Virgil should be helping with? B Counting On V.

574 Days Without B III, Day 015 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 057 ~ V’s No Grade B~

First class grade A… now, I know that doesn’t sound like me. A loser? B didn’t think so. See, I should stop saying it. Destroying myself writing things like this. Fury has no other outlet, though. V’s been here 14 days, and I’m failing V’s No Grade B

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Saga 057 ~ V’s No Grade B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I couldn’t care less how that makes me look as a human being. An asshole?

Can’t say I know the wealthy, well-off, or wantonly wasteful people in this existence, ok? As is becoming routine, my son. B III is priceless. Only do I treat him as such? Even with my memories of him? There haven’t been many this week. And dare I imagine why Lu. Now I won’t compare V to B, Lady Lunalesca. We’re two weeks in Lu, and I still don’t know who I’m talking to. Oh, and fuck you, Hemingway! I was saying that a lot yesterday. Anyway, at least Virgil isn’t hacking quite as much. If there is anything, I don’t need more of… FEAR. Could I afford a doctor for Little V? I couldn’t afford one for myself. Being honest. My health grade… a D.

Must I always be thinking with my dick? Hell! I already failed this week, Lunalesca. Inevitable, was it not? But besides being horny, there’s been the heat and this hatred. These days if it hasn’t been watching for the next person to fuck me over… I make myself sound oppressed, the ideal Republican. Or what the GOP thinks about a guy like me, Lunalesca. I don’t mean to get all political today. As usual, I’m too busy being a selfish bastard to worry about the rest of the world outside. I’m tired, fucking exhausted, Luna. Ask me why I’m sitting at the dining room table again today. Besides the A/C… I paid for it and have cut it off. Waking up, an A for anger.

And after dicking around for an hour… it’s 5:50 in the morning now. I have witnessed how much of a failure I am as a human being. An F for Friday and another now, and the day has yet to begin. I’m hoping my “father” forgot about me but did that work at all Friday? So what’s the plan for today? Finances, I doubt I have time for furries, Virgil being the exception. Not that I could buy him anything even if I wanted to. Oh, next week is fucked. Anything to start putting some funds back, the pittance they are. Is writing fun? But over the next week, all there will be is FURY. My sons are better men. Virgil… V’s No Grade B

573 Days Without B III, Day 014 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 056 ~B Raging, Sorry V~

I’m mad as Hell as history repeats itself. And while I didn’t learn shit like don’t text my “father,” AC repair bills suck. I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do. And that’s burning books. I rather burn myself. But with my Treachery… B Raging, Sorry V

Friday, August 26, 2022

Saga 056 ~B Raging, Sorry V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I draw the line at burning books. Now burning people, myself included? But my treachery…

Oh yes, Lady Sophia, I deserve this coolness, this cold, to try my best impression of a corpse today. And for once, this isn’t only about Braxton. Hell! If I woke up early on more mornings to write, edit, and publish? My little Braxton could have lived longer. Before I forget, fuck you, Hemingway! I will do that whenever I use a word that ends in LY. Don’t worry. There is plenty of rage in my heart today. It’s keeping me warm. Warm enough that I’m sitting at the table. Instead of burning up in bed. Yet I slept. But I didn’t rest. I might have gotten a minute or two. My “father” knows how to ruin these nights. Why not try this entire existence?

And I shouldn’t be this pissed, My Lady, I know. If I look at my bills and who pays the majority of them. But when one man lies to my face about money just so another bastard can get the satisfaction of bleeding me dry? Doing this for V? I swear, Sophia, I rather burn. Oh, how I hate him. And yet that is one more reason I hate the “Man in the Mirror” now. I mean my “Dad” and not V. I don’t want to say I’m indifferent to the little guy, Lady Sophia. Looks like I haven’t learned my lesson from what happened to Braxton. To feel nothing. It’s like I have a fucking fever. And not in a good way. Heat, Cold?

Sure I could talk about Velma from Scooby Doo or Cherry. If Virgil wasn’t around and I wasn’t stewing over the loss of hundreds of dollars. Mind you that I said I wouldn’t pay. Let me burn. Aren’t I a man of my word? Fuck, am I a man ever? To B’s Aunt, I keep my word. No, I betrayed myself, I know. I lay in bed last night with a sigh of relief, but my “father” called, then texted. I don’t know what I would have done if I had heard his voice. It wouldn’t be sitting here for two hours talking to you and watching Scooby Doo porn. Sorry, sex trumps sleep but sadness? There’s only fear and rage. B Raging, Sorry V

572 Days Without B III, Day 013 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 055 ~V, Hiding B’s Things~

Virgil hasn’t found B’s favorite hiding spot. I’m having a hard time hiding B’s things that I don’t want V touching. Yesterday we weren’t able to hide from “family.” The best of which is gone. Or reincarnated into a furry body. V, Hiding B’s Things

Thursday, August 25, 2022

Saga 055 ~V, Hiding B’s Things~

571 Days Without B III, Day 012 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? The most I can say about today is I’m hiding from money… And Humiliations Galore

In preparation for when I can’t, I talked to you yesterday, which WILL be “The 1st Of Tha Month.” If I haven’t told you before, time can be a bitch. Of course, you learned that, seeing as how you left me for HER. I’m sorry, B, I didn’t mean to sound harsh, but I’m hot, horny, and headed back to sleep as though this existence depends on it. Existence? B III, it’s going on twelve days now. And I still don’t know who I’m talking to. It’s why Virgil isn’t sitting with me at the moment. As I said, I explained a bit of this yesterday, the 24th, so I wouldn’t have to on the 1st. To exist in secrets, silence, from sin. Existence hidden

For the most part, yesterday. I’m hot because the A/C’s busted again, so I had to text your grandpa and his friend. Anyway, he’s looking for the air filter, which we still haven’t found, and as I said, “in the future.” It wasn’t that shit was a mess, the secrets strewn about, or the sex toys. B, it’s the fact that your grandpa found Virgil and dares to think someone can take my son’s place. Not now, Triple B, and not ever. But are you him, is V you? I ask. I’m still mad about your pillow, which was my fault. I keep your bed and your favorite toy far away. Or so I try. Virgil sniffed it once; he knew better. You died there.

The bed’s never been washed, Braxton. Never will. With what happened to the pillow… Other things I’m hiding from? Yep making any cash. But next week’s already fucked up! I wish I could hide the bed from myself. As if we haven’t fallen asleep on the couch, B III. Is there a way to cover up Virgil’s fear of everything? Hell! He’s known me for twelve days. Well, you’ve known me for 15 years. More? He’s not my son… Dare Virgil, aspire to become you? Braxton, that’s way too much to ask anyone. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you always and forever. If anything, I need to find this damn air filter. But to burn, feel Treachery’s freeze… V, Hiding B’s Things.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad