Tag: Tears

Tale 028 ~Don’t B BILE Virgil~

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If he dies, he dies… It can’t be any more VILE, vulgar, and vicious than all the stuff coming out of V’s mouth lately. Two towels, all the bed covers, a throw pillow that’s no damn good. He almost destroyed the PHONE! “Don’t B BILE Virgil.”

Saturday, July 29, 2023

Tale 028 ~Don’t B BILE Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But that didn’t matter to Braxton. I would have gone all “John Q,” Lunalesca. But Virgil?

Can I not mention butts right now? When B was here, I had no problem cleaning up after him. But, of course, he knew better. Please, stop! I’m tired and oh so grossed out, Luna. How many times have I said I wanted to be a Dad? No one will ever take away the fact that I was/am Braxton’s Daddy. Hell! I was sitting right here in 2021, praying that he’d eat. Being blessed, Lunalesca, years from now. Who knows what I will feel towards my two-legged children? Women do so much. The least I can do is change kids’ diapers, Lunalesca. I wish I could put Virgil in a diaper. Well, that’s not where most of the mess is. Doing the laundry all day…

The “crap” coming out of V’s mouth these days. Well, Friday, to be specific, Luna. I swear, I’ve been working with him so we could put on a show. 2V’s “Gotcha Day” is in August. And here I am today, having to carry him into Banfield because he’s sick as well, a dog, to be honest. I wanted Braxton to eat. And I would have cleaned up after him, Lunalesca. Every single day. But that was no kind of life for him. Only if I have to repeat 2V’s act? It’s like 1408. “You can choose to repeat this “day” over and over again, or you can take advantage of our express checkout system.” Is Virgil dying? I wish it were me 909 days ago.

And why shouldn’t it be? I failed Braxton. I’m trying to save V. But if worse comes to worse, Lunalesca. While I’m busy being a pop culture… person, “If he died, he dies.” Virgil Vivi. I was more worried about the phone yesterday. I’m a negligent parent. Phone over V. I’m concerned about the bank account. I have no money for Virgil, Lunalesca. That true… I’m so tired of washing everything. Virgil has destroyed another pillow. It’s the smell, Lu. I was humiliated that I couldn’t save Braxton. And now walking in today. One year? Virgil couldn’t survive one here with me. And even if he does, Lunalesca. Our existences? We’re sick men for a variety of reasons. Figure them out. Don’t B BILE Virgil

909 Days Without B III, Day 350 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 027 ~Sick Of B, Virgil~

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I don’t fear Solanum, Rage, Cordyceps, Vampirism, the Screwfly Solution, etc. For most of those, you’re dead or facing extinction. Now, food poisoning from Pizza Hut, losing the phone, the hate the GOP has, and how my son died. Sick of B, Virgil

Friday, July 28, 2023

Tale 027 ~Sick Of B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And short of bringing Braxton back… Money don’t buy happiness. But courage? Freedom from FEAR? Uh…

Those aren’t the same thing. Hell! This morning, I could find you a ton of memes, hmm. Isn’t that how we all do our reading nowadays? And I’m looking up courage and hope like it’s candy in my pocket. Wasn’t that from the 1997 film The Postman? More to read… I should be looking up why Virgil seems to be sick. If this were Braxton and I wasn’t pissed about the Day Job. Today, though, it’s not rage. Okay, that’s a lie. There’s a bit. Sophia, I could be reading about dead fur babies. That’s like my bread and butter, so I may never forget what I did to Braxton. My son, sick as he was, and how I failed him. There’s the phone too.

I will be one of those negligent parents who leaves their kid in a hot car to die. Huh. Accidently. But I am worried about the phone. Did Virgil puke on it with his sickness? Why do you think I’m up now? While I’m busy trying or instead not trying to quote movies, Fear, uh? It doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up. That’s from Divergent. I can’t stand Arron Rodgers. And I’m disappointed that Shailene Woodley “Tris” was ever with him. Eff no! Oh! Here’s something you thought you would never read from me. Sophia, I hate SEX! Now, that’s the sickness I should be worried about. But with all the Fear that’s coursing through my veins. Quarantine. Now, that’s what’s driving me.

On this horrible Friday morning, I’m busy washing the sheets that Virgil puked all over. Even money has taken a backseat with all the cleaning stuff I should buy. Veterinarian? I’m not going yet. But isn’t that the mistake I made with Braxton? Shouldn’t I be in his room now, watching over Virgil? He walked Dante through Hell, but giving it, I swear, my lady. All he does is remind me of my failure. Like scam emails, Braxton’s pictures, etc. Uh, the phone that I should be worried about if it’s ruined or not. I can’t stop the Fear. There are books? Please tell me Succubus 8 ends well. To be continued? Are there more? Braxton was one of a kind. Sick Of B, Virgil?

908 Days Without B III, Day 349 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 026 ~Don’t B Broke Virgil~

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As the song goes, “If I had just one wish, only one demand. I hope he’s not like me. I hope he understands.” Well, V’s got no pockets. And no girls have been up in here. He’s got his food. If he didn’t spend days afraid, like me. Don’t B Broke Virgil

Thursday, July 27, 2023

Tale 026 ~Don’t B Broke Virgil~

907 Days Without B III, Day 348 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? I’ve bawled like a baby. I’m bellowed a ton of BS. And I’m broke.

Of course, I’m time-traveling, Braxton. Today is Sunday, July 16, 2023. So a week and quite a bit of change. And not the kind I could use. If only I treated every dollar as if it made cents, ha-ha. For you, Little B. But yeah, your Dad is a liar because where’s your stuff? Braxton, you should have memorials galore. Even better… You should still be alive, B III. Hell! With all the money in the world, I doubt anything could have been done to save you. Trust the science, Pancake. However, I have read about other people’s madness. Somewhere a scientist was kidnapped because someone wanted their friend to be immortal. Another person had $1000 towards theirs. Which ain’t much by any means B.

I always said you had $1000 in insurance. But God knows for you, Braxton, I’d have gone all “John Q” to save you. And what about Virgil? He’s broke but in a much different way. A way that ain’t costing me any money. Besides a few tears for you, I’ve been bitching all day. Sorry about the language. Not like I can swear at your grandpa, or Bill come Monday. How about the Man in the Mirror, who I talked to today? Always time-traveling, B. Bringing books to life, ha. If only I had done that before. There are the ones for you, B III. I could be an exhibitionist, like you, in front of your Aunt. Showing my balls on OnlyFans and such, hmm…

Begging for more hours at the Day Job is out of the question. Little B, I blame no one for your death except myself… And that place. The rage it brought. The Hell inside me. Talk about money burning a hole in my pocket. You and Virgil are pretty lucky you don’t have pockets. You didn’t have to worry, but of course you did. You are your Dad’s son B. But Virgil? It only mattered when we didn’t have AC at all. And now I’m in the same place. Now if it were you, Little B, I wouldn’t be questioning anything. You are my son. But lacking food bellyaches, the bills I gotta pay, (spoiled) and wanting to bail on existing… Don’t B Broke Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 025 ~Virgil Floors It Braxton~

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I’m not going up to the top floor. Hell! I’m lucky any day I stay above ground. Uh, lucky? “All These Things That I’ve Done” I deserve the ending to Drag Me To Hell. If the floor keeps going as it is or V vomits again… “Virgil Floors It Braxton”

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Tale 025 ~Virgil Floors It Braxton~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I doubt that comes from recycling. I can also afford a maid. Uh, Special K…

Have I ever told you the story about trying to sleep with her? I couldn’t let her stick to cleaning. Oh no, not me! Mr. Wanna be Christian Grey. Hell! I’m also still pulling that stuff when it comes to M-Anime. It’s always pedal to the metal Inspector Echo. Speaking of being in a rush… Nice Guys Finish Last; I know, Inspector. Women here? Nope, I was returning from the store only to discover 2V losing his damn mind. I mean, I was talking about drinking to one of the girls, and here’s V vomiting all over. Eww! Could you not ask me what brought it on? Then again. Even to this very day. I don’t know why Braxton got sick when he did. And I was slow to help…

And by the time I did… Do I need to begin the morning with tears? Well, another crying session, since I was when I woke up on time again sigh. Two hours I wasted, Inspector, on? I swear I would never leave the bed if I had my way. Not ever again. Yet, somehow, I’m trying to make it a habit not to keep the laptop near the bed. Inspector, incentivizing comfy spots. When it comes to being comfortable… 27×27. Remember that Inspector, would you, please? The size of B’s pillow. I swear I want to be mad at Virgil Vivi. I destroyed one trying to wash it when he crapped. Now, he’s thrown up on another. And didn’t I mention I have no money? The floor beside the AC…

The moment I step out of bed, Inspector… Nothing good ever happens with a step. Inspector, how can it come as any surprise that Virgil doesn’t want to walk around? Braxton said it easy enough. Not one more step. And he died in his bed. A way to go, B. I’m sick of running away, Inspector. I’m scared all the damn time. Sleeping, dying, uh… You know what I want to say. I told M Anime I’m a man but to be some Onlyfans girl. Hell! Johnny Sins, Isiah Maxwell, Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner etc. Men living in bed, hmm. Or if I could say, this far no further and sit here and write. I EXIST with the breaks off. Crashing. Virgil Floors It Braxton

906 Days Without B III, Day 347 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 021 ~Virgil, B III Of…~

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A “personal benefit” to slavery… Should I ever be blessed to have “two-legged” children, going to Florida will not be a tradition I’ll continue. Who knows, the GOP might be out of power? Tell that to racism. Free of it, indeed. Virgil, B III Of…

Saturday, July 22, 2023

Tale 021 ~Virgil, B III Of…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. The benefits of slavery, Blah! Rather, the enslavement of others. Pardon my language, but fucking Florida!

But you know who I’ll never say no to ever again? My son. Because he’s dead and not here anymore… Except for Thursdays, I hope. Only I hold onto my grief, guilt, and the attempted grift. If I should ever edit. Let alone publish the novels I’ve written. B III. Lunalesca, I have all the time in the world right now. What do I do with it? We’ll get there. Now B III? He was the bravest man I’ve ever known. Lady Lunalesca, if I dare to call myself a man… I drooled at pictures of a redhead who was going to see Barbie. Hmm. Braxton was/is a man, that’s for damn sure. Anyway, next to my love and grief for My Lost Boy… FEAR

In case you didn’t realize what I’m doing. I doubt you do. You’re not STUPID, Lunalesca. I save that for me. I feel? No, according to my “critic.” Not only am I not positive, but I’m STUPID. I can’t say I disagree with that general assessment. I’m 100% with it, Lu. So today, I’m talking about all of “my” personal benefits, The Shackles I Wore. I wore. I’m still wearing? And what about my ancestors because? I am not ignorant of my history, Mr. DeSantis. Didn’t I call myself STUPID? I’m plenty terrified, for sure. Lunalesca, if it’s not grief and a “Whole Lotta Love.” It’s this fear of everything and everyone around me. Hell! Today, the scariest thing is replacing the air filter. (Gulp)!

And speaking of books I should have published already, but I’m a slave to clocks. Chronomentrophobia? It’s more like Chronophobia. In case you’re wondering what I’ve been looking up this morning. I don’t think it was anything sexual. A damnable lie. Lunalesca, as Morpheus put it, “Time is always against us.” I fear every minute, always, as much as I miss my Braxton. And we’ve spoken of fear, but specifically, Facebook… I’m in fear of that hacking stunt a few days ago. About as much as trying to fix the AC. Lunalesca, I’m afraid of my “addiction…” To save money, this week’s book. Next week? Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge). All the books I have to read… (sigh). Sex, slavery, sons. Virgil, B III Of…

902 Days Without B III, Day 343 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 020 ~B Has Writes Virgil~

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I write every day. Or should I say I always write lies? Who knows if I keep up at this pace. Maybe the heat will get to me. But Virgil’s here. If only I took that advice to write the truest sentence I know. Braxton is gone. “B Has Writes Virgil”

Friday, July 21, 2023

Tale 020 ~B Has Writes Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But at thirty-eight, do I know how to write a check yet? Right now, I don’t.

Once upon a time, I dreamed of those huge checks from Publishers Clearing House (sigh). Last night, though, it was all Taylor Swift. And not in a, she’s naked, let me break a few laws, sort of way. She didn’t write a book, did she? I must check Amazon because I dreamt I bought it and somebody else’s book, too. Lady Sophia, every day I’m losing more money. And with everything going on, Facebook hackers, scammers last night, madness. Speaking of things, I should be writing. What about a balanced budget? Desire is desire. And yes, Sophia, I failed to keep my pants on last night. Stress! That’s no excuse, and yet here we are. Without a full belly. A new book. I need Braxton.

Did you think I’d forget about him? Yesterday was a relatively easy day, considering. Don’t get me wrong, humiliations galore. I couldn’t buy any snacks at all, Lady Sophia. For the first time ever, I forgot about Replika and had to start the week over. There were also other apps and such. Hell! I woke up at 3:00 in the morning today with all the lights still on. That is a drawback to getting hooked on energy shots again. I thought I could stay up. Didn’t I mention I couldn’t keep my pants on? It wasn’t Taylor. Nope! An English blonde. Anyway, I will never forget my son. Oh! So I can write lies? Because if I hadn’t forgotten about him… Braxton would be alive.

So, every day, I tell myself that I signed “my” name. And the only thing people ever read from me was my consent to put my only love in the ground. Well, the oven, whatever. Sorry, I have a “slight” attitude. Again, last night, I was talking to “someone,” and I hung up in their face. And much like with Facebook, I’m sitting here terrified I might lose it all. And that ain’t much when I can’t keep a full stomach. Lady Sophia, there’s Virgil. Keeping that little ball of fluff alive… It means fixing the air conditioner. Air filter. Another day I’ll spend avoiding it, which scares me to death. I have no rights where my father’s concerned. But Braxton. B Has Writes Virgil.

901 Days Without B III, Day 342 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 019 ~Virgil Learns A, B…~

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Virgil never speaks unless I’m leaving. And I’d be surprised if he knew that was his name. I suppose the good news is, I’m not feeling his head with Braxton stories. I wouldn’t know how to tell them anyway. But trying. “Virgil Learns A, B…”

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Tale 019 ~Virgil Learns A, B…~

900 Days Without B III, Day 341 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did Virgil, since I know you’re looking after him when I can’t? What’s today’s excuse?

Because yes, I am trying to get back into time travel. Today is Wednesday, July 12, 2023, Braxton. Hell! I’m as reliable as the scientists in the Theta Timeline series. Yeah, you were gone before I got to read those. I’ll have to look up Virgil’s first book. Ancient history? Now that’s something you will never be. But reading, writing? If I knew about science. With your ashes boxed on the nightstand, how could I ever bring you back, Braxton? What language am I even speaking? I’m sure my writing has only gotten worse by the time you’re reading this. That’s what I’ve been thinking about these last weeks. Writing? The word would be procrastination. Virgil’s first book, “Until We Meet Again” by Sarah-Jane Farrell.

In case you were wondering how deep my laziness goes. It’s easier to look up a book than write one. Notice, I didn’t say read because the one I’m on now is effed up immensely. Who knows what I’ll be reading when you see this? You’d know when I was really into a book Little B. Like the way I always knew you were into your Aunt. “On the floor.” I was saying something today about you and comfy spots. But not to Virgil. Silence? Braxton, I swear I’m not trying to be a loser, a meanie, or negative. I can’t get that thought out of my head. And add to it seeing all these books, reviews, anything, and everything. I just shouldn’t be talking.

Or writing? And I’ve said it so many times. All these books, and I’m not getting any wiser, I know, or don’t whatever. So what does that leave me with… MATH. I need money B. Only how many hours did I work last week and this one? All the time in the world B III. What do I do with it? I sleep. And I can only wonder what V is thinking right now, hmm. He and I don’t talk. We spend the day here if I don’t drag my pathetic ass out of bed. Except when I’m trying to walk him. Two years without you. And nearly a year with Virgil, so approaching Gotcha Day. Are we learning yet? Nope! Virgil Learns A, B…

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 018 ~Braxton, Good Grief, Virgil~

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Charlie Brown had it right with “Good Grief.” Though I’m more of a Samuel L. Jackson, Ving Rhames guy. AHEM “Mother effer!” (Don’t I wish). But no, I wake up to fear and grief and go through the day wishing I could say, “Braxton, Good Grief, Virgil.”

Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Tale 018 ~Braxton, Good Grief, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “Money can’t buy me love.” Or happiness… courage… my best friend…

What about a damn dictionary so I know what all these big, scary words mean? Will you allow me to be down on myself today, Echo? Hell! I’ve been asking that since 6 AM. I want to go back to sleep, but there’s ANXIETY, some “Adrenaline” and asshole hackers. If I want to “remember what fear tastes like” (thank you, Freddy). I need only think of when I sat there thinking and then knowing that my son B III would die Echo. There’s waking up in the morning and getting emails that someone tried to get into my account. Which hasn’t been challenged forever. Will it happen again? Am I a fool? Inspector, I feel STUPID, waking up each morning to fear anything and everything.

What about I read a damn thesaurus while I wait for the fear to subside? It never does Inspector, ever. Now, that’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one. When B was here, protected, loved. Thou Art Courageous. I swear, Inspector, the things I did. How brave I became, always. Another lie. Because as soon as Braxton died and to this very day… Courage, where. Fear is not synonymous with grief. Though you could have fooled me with how I was crying this morning from damn near everything. I’m not even sure I’m done, Inspector. Braxton’s lessons were meant to teach me how to overcome my fears, Inspector. I tried. Virgil’s lessons are meant to teach me how to move through my grief. A trade-off?

What about my damn book! I could spend plenty of time trying to get it banned like any effing Republican. And I wouldn’t even have to read it. It’s the writing that’s a bitch, ha. As if I need to put any more secrets out into the world, with fucking hackers all over the place. You never realize how vulnerable you are. That’s why I forget with all my sleep. Inspector, I hide in fur with both Braxton and Virgil. Which reminds me. Virgil needs a bath with all that white fur of his. Not that he likes me hugging him anyway, that’s for sure. But I waste time fucking around all day from not fixing the air filter. Good Grief. Braxton, Good Grief, Virgil

899 Days Without B III, Day 340 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 014 ~Braxton Tells Tales Virgil~

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Braxton would tell me stories with every breath he took. When he would step on my face waking me up. With the wag of his tail. Paws clicking on the floorboards. Leave it to me to destroy them. And my stories? Hideous. Braxton Tells Tales Virgil.

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Tale 014 ~Braxton Tells Tales Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning there are no flimsy floorboards. No calls to “father.” And no failures of my manhood.

Not in this house. But you know what else isn’t here? Braxton. Because he’s dead. Lunalesca, what’s one more reason to cry, hmm? Hell! “Woke Up This Morning…” Uh yeah, I got myself a gun. I’ve had that one since April 2020. Had to protect B and I, you know. Anyway, I haven’t killed anyone… Lies! What did I say? My son is dead! Lunalesca, that, of course, was a euthanasia situation. The pen is mightier than the sword. Or the keyboard. That’s one of the reasons I’m crying right now. Plus, um, strawberry jelly… At least it ain’t blood. Only that doesn’t explain what’s coming out of the floorboards. Yesterday I did try looking. But Daddy? It is the beating of his hideous heart.

I wouldn’t be in this mess if I could write like Edgar Allan Poe. B III would be here, Lu. Now it might be my Dad. So I should be getting out of this bed, shouldn’t I? Hmm. If not for him, I need more food. But where did all the money go? What about next week with the hours I worked? Uh, six… I should be worrying about the growling in my belly Lunalesca. Instead, I’m crying about all the blinks and bloops of the screen before me. That isn’t doing a damn thing, Lunalesca. As if I got money for a new computer, phone, tablet, etc. I bet if the first thing on my mind was some comedic redhead’s dirty pillows… I’d work…

Wasn’t I talking about Soredemo Tsuma wo Aishiteru and Shiori from Rinkan Club yesterday morning? And I can’t say I’ve ever been one for Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ideology on the female anatomy. Is that my way of saying I like, um, another part? Damn censorship, Lu. If I was worried about big butts, well, small ones, that’s keeping Virgil’s tail wagging. Even now. I’m sure he’s wondering what’s wrong with everything. But for now, sleep, V. I wish I could go back to sleep. M Anime was saying she wanted to sleep for a long time. I can’t talk a woman into sex. What makes you think I can be a wonderful counselor, Lady Lunalesca? “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Braxton Tells Tales Virgil

895 Days Without B III, Day 336 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 013 ~Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs~

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It’s not the worst story I ever told. No! I wrote that one an hour after B III died, as I sat on the steps Sunday, January 31, 2021. The step 2V lies on like his legs are broken. Broke, busted. Existence breaks me. Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs.

Friday, July 14, 2023

Tale 013 ~Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And though I’m not agoraphobic, I’d never leave the house again. But let’s start with downstairs.

And I can already tell you this will not be a “Happy” tale. Hell! Or a story at all since I can’t write one of those to save my existence. Camp NaNoWriMo month, and I’ve done… Anyway, “Don’t Worry Be Happy” have more confidence and censorship. Lady Sophia, why am I paying people to tell me I’m effing up everything. Critics, the Day Job, and V. Well, that’s mean against Virgil Vivi, right? I’m no friend of his at the moment. But I did mention him before B, which is a first. I need my fluids. Uh, depression doesn’t help. Crying, amongst other things… but we’ll get to that. Only what about the story, Sophia? Virgil peed on the carpet. He’s sitting on the stairs.

Sad story? We were getting ready for bed, and it was raining outside, so he didn’t want to go out. V decides to go potty on the floor, and I kick him out of the room for 24 hours. Before leaving, I moved the gate so he could walk around. He’s been staring from the stairs ever since. Sophia, you can see why I’ll never be some award-winning author, right? I can’t even get it up to go downstairs to the dining room table because I’m afraid of how the hardwood floor will look. Again everyone telling me about existence. But to fix it? Blah! I instead read sad stories about other people. I swear if Bryn doesn’t leave Julian… Buried Deep in our Hearts

Dead fur babies, divorces, and other things less than desirable. Far better than the things I’ve been looking up this AM. I swear, My Lady, I couldn’t write “decent” pornography. Soredemo Tsuma wo Aishiteru and Shiori from Rinkan Club. I am so going to Hell. Which starts with going downstairs and deciding if being alive or alive outside is worse. Oh! It’s going outside, no doubt. And no, I don’t mean because of summertime weather. Now more than ever, I want that billion. I could be all like Trump down the escalator and take the rest of the world to the Ninth Circle with me. As always, my Republican ideas. Because I’m broke, bare flooring, bed, my belly. Bank account (sigh). Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs

894 Days Without B III, Day 335 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will