Tag: Hear

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I shouldn’t have to rely on FEAR to get me out of bed in the morning to look at a wall outside like I’m one of the MAGA Cracker Hats watching the border. But my boys live here. Their potential stepmom wants to visit this winter. “B Leaning On Virgil”

Tuesday, August 5, 2025

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? You’re my shoulder to lean on. Or should I sing “look over your shoulders, honey!”

“I’ll Be There.” But I’m not Michael Jackson. Hell! I don’t have Neil Bimbeau’s bank.

Honestly, how much can one make in the “HaremLit” genre? Enough to survive and for the family. And I’m still leaning heavily on Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III.” Well, if I ever published it. I’d cry about it, but that’s one of the reasons I ignore your advice of “Put Your Head on My Shoulder.” Seriously, I would rather cry in your lap as I told Braxton yesterday.

The only way to make my wife wet. Braxton and Virgil don’t need to hear that! But I would cry on Braxton’s shoulder? Excuse me, his Scapulohumeral Joints. And Virgil?

He’s leaning against me, keeping me upright like Pete McVries.

Richard Bachman/Stephen King’s The Long Walk. First, am I back on that again? I saw the second trailer, and I’m not sure I’ll have enough paper for September 12th. Secondly, isn’t Braxton my Pete McVries? Virgil is more my Stebbins. You, my love, are Jan.

Everything you had to offer me. All of yourself. And I just passed by. Don’t I trust you, my love? Don’t I want you? I am as adamant as I am about wanting children. I’m not one to laugh much. Oh, I do! But the live part. More like the creation of life. And love.

Broken heart and all, “I Got Nothing But Love For You Baby.” The Five Heartbeats. You, Virgil, our three two-legged kids. My heart was Braxton.

Carpenter Ants don’t have hearts. I have that in common with my GREAT enemy, hmm.

Speaking of which, I’m leaning on the “Spectracide Terminate Termite & Carpenter Ant Killer AccuShot Sprayer,” and the recent cold snap to protect the house. This is only the second day that I haven’t spotted an ant scurrying out of a hole they made, love.

I’m a man, a husband, a Dad, I shouldn’t be leaning on you. Well, except in the throes of passion. “After all, you’re my Wonderwall.” I can’t even keep the walls of our home up.

“If he can keep his knuckles up all night, imagine what his willy can do.”
― Far and Away 1992

I lean forward in killing BUGS, BUGS! I lean back for your favorite position, love. I lean left against MAGA Cracker Hats. You’re my right hand. B Leaning On Virgil

1647 Days Without B III, Day 1088 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 034 ~From Cell-B To Sail~

WillLeave a comment

“When you’re dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part,” as the song goes. It feels like I’m empty inside… Tears, sweat, and Bisquick—eww! What a mess. The door’s open, but where would I go? B’s gone. “From Cell-B To Sail.”

Monday, August 4, 2025

Journey 034 ~From Cell-B To Sail~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And like my father before me, I am not a businessman. I’d trade two wings for two legs. Really!

I know, Dad, that’s not funny. But the last time I got such attention from you, I was getting fitted for said wings. And now you’re sitting there, Daddy, where I always used to watch you. But it’s not out of the joy you once had. The dreams you shared with me. The desire or passion. No, Dad, what got you out of bed since my furry behind is a six-legged creature? Lots of them…

“Carpenter Ants,” you said. Where I once stood and you waited for me to ask to come inside, you now scream like David Arquette from Eight-Legged Freaks, “Get back, you (six-legged) freaks!” I remember when I fought beside during an ant invasion long ago. SIGH

They weren’t that big, though. But you are my father.

“We Are Growing.” Yes, we are growing, Dad. “You and me, always and forever.” Do you remember singing that song from The Wannadies? There was Margaret Singana’s song too. And I have another one for you, “Don’t Look Down,” by David Ryan Harris. I am my father’s son. And maybe the reason your heart has remained broken since… Well I…

Anyway, I think it’s stayed like that to teach you to stand like I did. You know I did, Papa.

Right up to the end, I would not fall until you told me you loved me, and it was okay.

Don’t go crying again, Dad, you already did that before you had to walk my little brother Virgil. He had to go somewhere, didn’t he?

Right into your broken heart and sensing that the water was fine, he’s invited others. You still care for my Favorite Girl, Dad. And you have me and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, to consider. And speaking of cells, blood, and genes. The MAGA Cracker Hats have been going crazy over Sydney Sweeney. If you and M Anime ‘played’ together.

Honestly, that’s Virgil’s problem. And I’ll find other things to do on the Rainbow Bridge. I don’t need to see you pouring the Bisquick and making pancakes with my stepmom.

Eww! But “I’ll Be” and I’m sure Virgil will be happy to have two-legged siblings going Knock, Knock on our Papa’s door because life isn’t a cell, Daddy. You are free. From Cell-B To Sail

“Good morning, Papa.”
And my papa he would tell me that he loved me
We shared a game
Knock Knock”
Knock Knock ― Daniel Beaty

“I knew your devotion would prevail over all the rigour of the journey and bring you to your father”
Virgil

1646 Days Without B III, Day 1087 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

If I get too high, I’ll have no air. If I stay in my blood, ‘sweat’ and tears, I’ll drown. How dare I ask a girl to “Follow Me?” Better to be Uncle Kracker or Uncle/Dirty Harry than a MAGA Cracker Hat. My boys are better men. High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I say that without crying? I don’t want to look at myself. The time…

Hell! “Everyday Day Is Exactly The Same,” Sunday, January 31, 2021, to be precise, love. The day my honest to God… (God? Honest? Ha!) Anyway, the day that love died. Honestly, my Braxton hasn’t moved from the table in the vet’s office, the top of my nightstand, or the tippy top of my mind in four years. Again, 1640 days to be accurate, give or take a few hours. And what could I be doing in “These Final Hours,” beloved?

Trying to remember our wedding day? Dangerous words, right? I cried then and now. A trick of Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She told me that if her man wasn’t crying when she walked down the aisle, she was going back up. UP, higher ground, high ground…

What am I angling for? A movie night with you? To be “Drowning in your love.” Damn, Csapunch (Chrissy Allen) and her trip to see the Backstreet Boys. One more reason my eyes are all watery. I’ll burn my eyes out of my skull with all the social media BS.

Distractions. Like all these movies. “UP” shows us a ‘happy’ life in the first few minutes. The fanfare of all these apocalyptic movies, where the good guys always survive, my love. And the high ground… If you didn’t know that was a Star Wars reference, we wouldn’t be married. A few steps below my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Then our two-legged children, don’t talk badly about Star Wars. Why am I up in the clouds?

I think I’m higher than that. And that’s why I’m looking up. Would my head explode in space? How do I explain to you what’s happening to me, my love? My heart is bleeding and broken in this “Mad Season.” This “Cruel Summer,” with my “Summertime Sadness,” baby girl. And fearing I might drown from it all, the flood, I am seeking higher ground. Like “B.o.B.” I’m looking at “Airplanes” for a wish. My B is up there, and so I “get higher, baby, and don’t ever come down!” I’m not on drugs, but I feel like I could die.

How do I “Even” it out like Julien Baker sings about? Sometimes, all I need is “The Air That I Breathe.” High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

“Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe.
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe.
Yes, to love you”
― The Hollies

1640 Days Without B III, Day 1081 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 027 ~Time Travel B Where~

WillLeave a comment

There’s no time. If I could go back to the moment I heard Braxton cry, I’d rush him to the vet. Like when he stepped on a pinecone or something… And now I have time to pick bugs off his brother or stare at his stepmom’s yabbos. Time Travel B Where.

Monday, July 28, 2025

Journey 027 ~Time Travel B Where~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And I didn’t have to sit on your head for once. But I’m always on your mind. Right, Dad?

Bedtime, book time, even boob time. Speaking of which, how’s my Favorite Girl? You’ve been talking to Cherry a lot. And what about ‘your’ Favorite Girl, my and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I’m starting to understand why you shut me out of certain things, Dad. As you told me all the time, “I love you like pancakes.” But I under no circumstances want to see you pouring the Bisquick to make pancakes… Me and Virgil’s, two-legged siblings. There’s no time for that, you’d say with my Favorite Girl around.

Honestly, where does the time go? That was one of my many questions on Sunday, January 31, 2021. It’s time to go home. But this doesn’t look like home. Somewhere I can only watch from.

And there’s always time to watch you. There’s always time to do something. Like love?

In our memories of the past. In our dreams of the future. But Dad, as you would say, “I’m here.” “Here and Now” “We Found Love,” in a hopeless place. I found it in you.

We’re still, and we will always and forever be father and son. And like father, like son, we’re running together. Me to one side of the Rainbow Bridge. And you into the grave, my father. Meet me in the middle? Where would that be? There’s a reason I was Neo.

He is trapped in a place between this world and the machine world. All I can do is tell you that your friend needs your help. He needs all our help.
― The Matrix Revolutions

How long did that last before my Grandma gave me the name Braxton? That’s me.

Timeless, right. What time is it? Time to save Virgil?

It was only a bug. A tick that you had to pull off of him this morning. Dear little brother…

“It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss; it was only a kiss.” You’re thinking of giving me and Virgil two-legged brothers and sisters. If you live long enough to see M Anime this Winter. Live long enough? Love, Dad. The instruction and the rule.

If anything, the time has come for you to love. Fear, failure, not finishing… Eww. If you replaced all those times learning how to love yourself. You owe me at least sixteen years of that. 2021-2025 don’t count. The past, the future. Time Travel To Love. Time Travel B Where

“Loving each other with enough ferocity to quell the fears of the past. Just fucking being there.”
― Seven Days in June by Tia Williams

“A shifty, fickle object is woman, always.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1639 Days Without B III, Day 1080 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I was supposed to buy a big yard for B. I don’t know how Virgil feels about living here. And myself? I’m looking for a box, or to go up to space. This rock’s annoying. “Too many men, too many people, making too many problems.” Yet Homes For B, Virgil

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And if you’re a fan of Christmas. Well, that’s one more thing to apologize for.

I swear I almost started our conversation with “I’ll B Home,” which goes all the way back to Tale 066 ~ I’ll B Home Virgil~ on Tuesday, September 5, 2023, to be precise. Everything in its place, My Love. So why am I sitting here this afternoon listening to this monstrosity?

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” Effing Christmas In July! Effing Hallmark Channel! Or was it QVC? Whatever! This is what happens when your poor excuse for a husband is sitting on his ass “writing” about my euthanized son. Make it plain. Braxton is gone. And Virgil is sitting on his pillow wanting some attention. “But you don’t look ashamed, and baby, I’m not scared.” I wish I could sing that. I wish it were true.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you were ashamed of me. And honestly, I’m effing terrified.

“FEAR does not exist in this dojo!” Only it’s not that. This is our home. And it’s not you that’s following me. “Follow Me.” Where to? No, it’s my Braxton who followed me for fifteen years. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, he decided to follow me for four more years and then some.

I’m not effing MAGA! I’m not an effing Cracker Hat! And me as President… Seriously!

My Love, I want to be a good husband, father, if anything, Just A Man. But I have no place.

Where do my furry sons go? My sins. And what about my “sausage.” Sorry, I’m both hungry and horny. It’s been a long day, baby.

I’m trying to make space. I’m trying to “Hold Space” as in “The Book of Clarence.” Am I ever going to get off of this loveseat? For you, my Sputnik, my crazy Satellite Girl, anything.

I’m not one for cutesy nicknames. But that song from Jerry Engler and the Four Ekkos does it for me. Yeah, it was lying with you on a Sunday Morning that led to me ‘filling you up’. Next thing we know, we need a bigger house to make a home for all of Braxton and Virgil’s two-legged siblings. But what else needs a home? Money? Not much of that left. Making room in my heart for more Love. You, our children. I’m big, small, nothing.

Homeless. Homes For B, Virgil.

“Welcome to my world (welcome to my world)
Welcome to my only world (my only world)
It is full of space junk
But your words are coming through
I’m riding on the space junk
And it’s bringing me to you.”

1633 Days Without B III, Day 1074 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 020 ~On Braxton’s First Words~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not reading about the latest crime that Trump and the Cracker Hats committed. I also didn’t necessarily cry thinking about my son. I read about a guy staring at his realtor’s Yabbos. I texted my potential girlfriend. But, on Braxton’s First Words

Monday, July 21, 2025

Journey 020 ~On Braxton’s First Words~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Some Dad, you are not recognizing your own son. Some Dad, you are not recognizing yourself. Some Dad, huh.

A Dad who made me proud to be his son. My man… Well, you probably want me and Virgil’s potential stepmom to call you that. My Old Man? Even now, your stomach is in knots thinking about whether Grandpa calls. But my Human. “Don’t put the blame on me,” Dad.

That the words are too few, too simple, and plain, and to us. There I go sounding like my could-be stepmom, M Anime. Any words spoken in love are never wasted. And your first words this morning… That’s what I want you to think about, Daddy. The first words and not the last. The last day you saw me was not my last words, now were they? We’re here now. And a dog once said:

“Be. Here. Now. That’s a dog’s purpose.”
A Dog’s Purpose

See, Daddy. I was sitting there with you yesterday as you worked on my “life” story a bit. “My Turn To B III.” And how I waited my turn this morning. You’ll deny it until Trump and the MAGA Cracker Hats are brought to justice, but you love yourself, Dad.

Reading something early in the morning that doesn’t involve putting me in the ground is a sign of care. Yes, instead it was one of those books you’d read to yourself because it wasn’t appropriate for me. “What’s My Age Again?” And thankfully, my little brother was asleep. How old is Virgil, late twenties, early thirties, at four years old? And yet, when you pick him up and check him for bugs. Daddy, you love my brother. Your second born.

So much so that after you read a little. You talked to Ms. M Anime, another one of those conversations on the little glow box. What, Dad, you remember my Favorite Girl and her yabbos. And now you have M Anime and her yabbos. I learned from the best father.

But you speak to her because you care. And even she told you not to worry about your first words when you see her. I don’t think my potential stepmom is coming only to talk.

For the record, Virgil will be upset. But if he and I get a stepmom. “Someday.” Two-legged siblings? Will you remember their first words? Will they want your last words? Both, I’d say. I love you. On Braxton’s First Words

“Humans were capable of so many amazing things, but too often they just sat making words, not doing anything.”
W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog’s Purpose

“Death twitches my ear; ‘Live,’ he says… ‘I’m coming.”
Virgil

1632 Days Without B III, Day 1073 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 014 ~Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It’s not some “Summertime Sadness…” (Cherry would appreciate this.) And I would say it’s a “Cruel Summer…” (Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom will visit in the Winter). Anyway, Hell seems to be full-time. But ice water? Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil

Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Journey 014 ~Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I tell you that all the time. Braxton. Virgil? Our two-legged kids. But a drink.

I could use a drink. No! “I could really use a wish right now.” There are plenty of “Airplanes” in the night sky. Or there will be with Effing MAGA in charge. But FDT, two times! Besides, I don’t want to talk about the Epstein List. We, being parents, Love.

Today I have you, my beautiful wife. There’s Braxton. There will always be Braxton, as he told me yesterday, “You’ll Be In My Heart” from the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, wherever.

I checked Virgil, who seems to be bug-free. Maybe a few bites, but nothing I can see to pull off. And speaking of pulling things off. Being a good dad to our two-legged kids. Trying.

With all my blessings, I wish I could stop crying.

Oh No, “My Love!” These aren’t happy tears. Not like the Sia song from The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. If anything, the tears help wash off the blood of my firstborn furry son. But I wasn’t crying for Braxton. Not today.

Would that make it better? I had around seventy days just for that after he died. As I worked on Braxton’s novel, I was reminded of the Assistant Store Manager. Eff that guy! Effing meathead. Anyway, he moved me from the Denial stage to Anger. Freaking Vampire, Zombie, Effing TICK! A parasite is what I am. Maybe I’ll catch something and join Little B III.

Enough bites to bleed out. But “I just-just got-to-got-to-got-to” keep the blood pumping, don’t I? I’m saving Virgil, I love you, and a man provides.

“Here Comes Success.” I should toast to it. But then I wouldn’t remember. Forgetfulness and Ignorance. Joy and Pain, as Frankie Beverly sings on. Did you know? I didn’t, Love.

You didn’t know I would be such a crybaby who sweats bullets, bleeds for my boys. And my sexual appetite. I wish I could keep it in my pants. Have you looked in a mirror?

“Because maybe. You’re gonna be the one that saves me. And after all. You’re my wonderwall,” thank you, Ryan Adams. But seriously, “My Love,” “Remember when we first met. And everything was still a bet, in Love’s game. SIGH, I spit out songs. Filling you up, sweating for THEM, crying for B. I’m left. A desert. Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil.

1626 Days Without B III, Day 1067 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 013 ~Braxton Gets A Bug~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t look to the future. But my boys’ potential stepmom has hope. Braxton was/is like that. He’d be living the dream. A big yard, the big brother to some two-legged kids, and he’d collect d*ck-teasers, Skeezers, and weirdos. But Braxton Gets A Bug

Monday, July 14, 2025

Journey 013 ~Braxton Gets A Bug~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And your day has only just begun. “We’ve Only Just Begun.” Girls? Really Dad? How’s “My Favorite Girl” doing?

Well, I should ask about my little brother first. How’s Virgil? You were scared he was two paws away from joining me. “(Sixteen) toes down, dawg. Love and the loyalty, that’s what we stand for.” What? I was way past the age of calling you ‘Bro’ Dad. Speaking of age…

How are you, Daddy? I know that sounds weird with what you were reading this morning. Virgil and I’s potential stepmom, M Anime. She’ll make better reading company. Uh, that’s like comparing sitting with you to sitting on “My Favorite Girl.” I love you, Old Man, but My Favorite Girl was just so soft. And now you have a girl of your own… Uh, potentially. And I’m going to say that bugs me, my father.

The fact that your future is coming on. And a part of me wants to go all Dolph Ziggler barking, “It Should’ve Been Me!” “My future. It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on.” A little too much wrestling last night, Dad. I was there watching with you and my little brother. Always and forever is what we promised. Those nights sitting there, Dad.

When there was only us. Then there was My Favorite Girl. Next came little Virgil. In the future, there’ll be M Anime. One day there’ll be my other siblings. You said you’d name one of those crumb snatchers after me. And who knows… Resurrection? Reincarnation?

“Back up in your ass with the resurrection.”
Geto Boys

I know being a human bugs the Hell out of you, Dad. What bugs me?

It wasn’t any of those ones outside. Or whatever it was that made me sick. Or even how we ended things because you were there with me. Cliché, but I was with my best friend.

I was with you then, now, and in the future, and I can’t wait for you to bug me. Always.

I’ll be the one sitting with V when you shut him out of the room for M Anime Dad. Eww!

I’ll take turns sitting with you, M Anime, my two-legged brothers and sisters, as you fiddle with your glow boxes. I’ll miss out on all the fries as Virgil fills up. But I’ll always have a space in your heart. And why you can’t see it? Braxton Gets A Bug

“I’m too socially awkward to be left to my own devices. What do I do?”
― Seven Days in June

“Age carries all things away, even the mind.”
― Virgil

1625 Days Without B III, Day 1066 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 007 ~Virgil, Tune Of B~

WillLeave a comment

This ends week one on this Journey. What do I have to say? I’d rather say nothing. But M Anime and I are tempting each other. Braxton says nothing because he’s still dead, and I’m not writing. What’s in Virgil’s little head? “Virgil, Tune Of B.”

Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Journey 007 ~Virgil, Tune Of B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But will we skip a “Love Song” today or two? You know me too well.

My ears hurt. Well, my head hurts. Trust me, I know when something’s wrong with my ears. I still hear the silence my firstborn son left behind. Is it scary that I’d joined B III? “Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, if you ever need me, I’ll be there.” A blood oath to my son. More like Bloodsport. But as much as I want to lie here and watch movies with you, My Love, there is a reason we’re speaking early this Monday, July 7, 2025, 3:00 PM.

Beloved, “Any Time, Any Place.” Dancing with you to Janet Jackson vs me crying over Braxton. That’s a whole other conversation. Not that I would ever deny you, My Love. Today, I would deny myself. “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.”

If I don’t tell you, who would I tell? “Well, I feel STUPID. But it’s something that comes and goes.” I haven’t been good over the last couple of weeks on this Journey we call life. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today. To get through this thing called life.”

The more I try to cut the music off, the more that comes through. There is too much noise, My Love. I can handle the smell of replacing Virgil Vivi’s potty/training spot. In and out.

They call that breathing. And I can’t stand the sound of me breathing at all. What about the silent tears coursing down my face? It’s either Braxton or my exhaustion. And effing technology! Every beep and boop has me jumping.

Fireworks. They annoy V and B. They explode by the house. I’m ain’t “Never Scared.”

But the noise. Not at all like your pillow talk. Or should I go ahead and say your dirty talk? And the sounds your mouth makes when you’re doing other things, to me… For me. Your moans, whispers, cries, and screams. It’s like I’m John Seed, The Power of YES. It’s your heartbeat I care about, your breathing. When I know you’re going to explode.

So I won’t go getting “Tired Of You.” I’m tired of myself. I want to quit crying over Braxton sometimes. Or listening to Virgil’s munching and crying about whatever’s wrong with his eating. I want to quit digging my own grave. Virgil, Tune Of B

1619 Days Without B III, Day 1060 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 006 ~Pancakes To B Feared~

WillLeave a comment

Last week, I wanted a burger. Today, I want pancakes. Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom can cook. I microwave. But I’ve been so afraid I can barely eat, and V? Like father, like son. B, my little Pancake, is brave. Pancakes to B Feared

Monday, July 7, 2025

Journey 006 ~Pancakes To B Feared~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… What? Huh? Pancakes? Who said somethin’ bout pancakes, b*tch. You cookin’? Pancakes? Yes, I know, Dad. “Language, young man!”

Young? Daddy, I was fifteen. And I’m sorry I couldn’t give you twenty. “Look, you wake up one day, and your legs, they just give.” Oh, I’m Michael De Santa now? You know me, Dad. Food. Forgetful? Not even with my age. And FEAR! The three pillars of your life…

At least these days. And I’m proud that you decided to read about food this morning… Pancakes, to be specific. Do you really need to read more about fallen fur children? I’m your child, your son, the same as my little brother Virgil. Think of me sitting in your lap right now as you stroke my head, and you tell me about my nickname. Pancake.

That was always one of my favorites. And yours, too.

Comedy comes in threes. When I was a puppy, you took me walking for the first time, and you said I was getting stronger. I was strong enough to jump on the bed and eat a plateful of waffles. The sausage? I swear, Daddy, the thing you humans eat sometimes. But the next morning, you had pancakes, and you placed them high so I couldn’t reach. And Grandma said, “You must love pancakes.” And then you’d tell me, “I love you like pancakes, but…” Then would come some WARNING. “Son, FEAR is the heart of love.” Dad, when we would watch The Walking Dead, you would say this. You remember:

“When you were, uh, pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?”
Abraham Ford

You said I couldn’t be more your son if you had made me yourself, Daddy.

Uh, what you showed me and V’s potential stepmom, M Anime, from Sunday. Um Eww.

You know, I walked up and down those stairs. And so does Virgil. Anyway, the third reason I got my name is because I would sit on your head, and you knew it was morning. I would curl up into your lap, and you would say I was just one warm pancake. Safe and Happy.

It looks like I’m still doing my job. I know you feel far from Safe and Happy. Daddy, you’re never happy. And yesterday was very hard for you. Talk about FEAR. You had to watch Freddy Krueger to calm down. My Daddy’s “Sicker, Faster, Bigger, Badder.” Virgil knows. M Anime. Me. Pancakes To B Feared

“Higher Further Faster”
Captain Marvel

“Call up your courage again. Dismiss your grief and fear. A joy it will be one day, perhaps, to remember even this.”
― The Aeneid

1618 Days Without B III, Day 1059 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son