Tag: Heart

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

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I wanted to be a fighter pilot. I told my Ma that I wanted to be the Secretary of Defense. I said DEFENSE. I also wanted to be a wartime writer. I did a few weeks in the Navy. You live for the fight when that’s all that you’ve got. Wars B Through V

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Like I know about World War I and II. Okay, at least two. American Education…

I know it’s Veterans’ Day, but as for my family… My Olds? Boys? Our Family… “A Small Talent For War?” And that’s what existence feels like, The Twilight Zone. In my heart, I long for peace. “Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go.” Go where you ask me? Anywhere there’s peace, my love. I stopped looking for “Love AND Happiness so long ago. What? Am I saying you don’t make me happy? The children? B III and 2-V?

Beloved, what I’m saying is that things like happiness, love, peace, freedom, etc, are worth fighting AND dying for. And I understand why men choose a blaze of glory. I save what I love, but I FEAR. Forget. I fight.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“We’re going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love!”
The Last Jedi

“Love Is A Long Road,” “Love Is A Battlefield,” and I wish I could believe like The Beatles that “All You Need Is Love,” and then I see what it takes to fight for it. “Angel With A Shotgun.” I’m lucky that I married you, right? “I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage. And you will be mine.” With our hands full, the kids can carry our happiness.

And who are we fighting? Directly, I would say MAGA, the Cracker Hats. FDT, always.”

But as Haymitch says, remember who the real enemy is—the loss of my mutt. Please, Braxton was a purebred Deer Head Chihuahua. Little Virgil lives with my misery. You?

Yes, you as well. I fight for the moment, love.

Dawn of the Dead’s Frank said, “You want… every… single second.” But there’s no shame in admitting this to you, my love. No negativity. Only the prayer like I’m Tupac.

“Heavenly Father, I’m a soldier, I’m gettin’ hotter
Cause the world’s getting colder, baby let me hold ya.”
‧ Tupac

But then the truth is “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” A brief stint in the Navy. Water…

If I knew that I could cry this much, I would have stayed. I could drown either way, my love. Hell! I could cause a wave or make us an island… MAGA, zombies, M Anime…

“Somewhere Only We Know,” to escape. Somewhere there is no FEAR, where I don’t feel like I’m fighting every day, and we can eff like bunnies. It’d give Braxton peace…

Seriously! Virgil fights doors. And me? Wars B Through V.

1745 Days Without B III, Day 1186 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

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A hop, skip, and a jump; more like carrying, to teaching how to walk, and then B was jumping on the bed. Hell, he slept there like I did? And now… breakfast. Not in his final days. He climbed and crawled, and I carried him. “Crawl of Braxton, Virgil”

Monday, November 10, 2025

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? I should ask, did you have a good night? You look like… Dad.

On top of being colorblind, you always looked like you, Daddy. A contradiction of what I said last week. Perhaps. You were louder sometimes. Some humans say, Love is Louder.

Another thing you humans say is that something is larger than life. You were Dad—a god held in the arms of a titan. We never said that, but the angel on your shoulder, Dad.

That’s me. And ladies’ men… Greta, my favorite girl, that maid Special K. M Anime…

Always and forever, forever and always. That’s what you taught me, my father. You live!

Ain’t that the thing, you live by that. “If you call, I will answer.” Isn’t that a Barenaked Ladies song? Do I know you, Dad, or what? That band name…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But “Love Is A Long Road”, it’s wobbly first steps, a walk through the neighborhood, and “The Way” I made it onto your bed the first time to have a taste of waffles. French Toast?

I don’t recall what it was, but did you ever think it wasn’t the food that called to me, Dad?

I’m not an elephant, nor am I a ladybug, or an Asian Lady Beetle. I’m not an ant, my father. One more reason we’re having this conversation. We’re back on ants again with the weather. They want to get warm, find something wet, or get waffles. Or it’s you, Dad.

The wrong things want you, dark thoughts about a woman, that little dog, and my brother Virgil, and the dead.

Are we those wrong things? Really? It would explain why you don’t “Put One Foot in Front of the Other. Dad, “One Foot In Front Of The Other.” You’re not trying to drown me out.

I learned how to walk, jump, and fly because of you. That’s not negativity, but the truth, and I’m so thankful and will forever be. All I ask is that you do what you taught.

Honestly, I do mean being a jetsetter because again last night I felt it. Father. FEAR is not meant to be always and forever. I once called to you, I climbed to you, and crawled.

Daddy, Till I Collapse. Virgil is learning to do the same. Some women will. Your turn. Crawl of Braxton, Virgil.

“If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Through chances various, through all vicissitudes, we make our way…”
The Aeneid

1744 Days Without B III, Day 1185 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

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I’ll get over you, I know I will. I’ve gotten past two months without my Ex. Yet I’m still standing over B’s ashes, stepping over his doggie gate, and stomping over the man I should be for him. Plus, what happened at the Day Job. B Over Soon, Virgil.

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Yet as The Yayhoos sing, “Baby, I love you, just leave me the eff alone.”

I want it all to be over. The humiliations, horror, and happiness. A.K.A marriage, love?

No and never. “Goodness knows; you’re my honeysuckle rose.” I know music, my “Sweet Love.” I remember my words, always and forever. My body, back, and my brain, though… I swear, today was a long walk, “The Long Walk,” and I wanted to sit down.

I keep saying “Love Is A Long Road.” Love is also a verb. And I can only imagine how hard it’s been on you. In you? Hell, we have our kids to prove that while I continue to mourn my son, Braxton. And nearly pushed Virgil off the edge of the bed—too little fur.

And now I must get over this… 150-Word Depression Cap.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Over does not necessarily mean “The End”. “Death Is Not the End.” My Braxton lives.

“He Lives In You,” Like something out of The Lion King. But more to the tune of “Hungry Like The Wolf.” More and more hits, and we’ll get to what happened on the 3rd, love.

Because “Nothing is over! Nothing!” As John Rambo cried. My Braxton was a much braver man—a much braver dog. And I want to inspire Braxton’s brother Virgil in much the same way. But while I pushed him to the edge of the bed, he didn’t go over, my love.

He survived. I survived. “I’m still breathing! I’m Alive” as Sia belts out. Better her than the Foo Fighters and whatever that song was, Monday.

I was able to survive the humiliation of it. One more thing I need to add to the list of why I own my own business. “The Moondust.” One more piece of my new empire. Another jewel to the crown. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I still can’t get over it ha!

Funny, I need to get over it. Like getting over what happened on Sunday, August 24, 2025, my love? Truth? You don’t get over things like that. Not E-Day, not Sunday, January 31, 2025. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Monday, November 3, 2025. You dig deeper.

Honestly, to get over the bombs, you have to wait until they stop falling like “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head.” B Over Soon, Virgil

1738 Days Without B III, Day 1179 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 125 ~To B Real Virgil~

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Did that just happen? My boy, breathing his last. That song from the Foo Fighters, playing on my phone at the Day Job? And nowadays the big question is this. Is that AI? If you see Braxton and Virgil together at any point, yes. To B Real Virgil.

Monday, November 3, 2025

Journey 125 ~To B Real Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And you? You’re not you when you’re hungry. Snickers? I remember one Halloween… Snickers, M&M’s, Twix… Everything in between.

Don’t worry, you were doing right by me. “Protecting” me… I wish you had let me protect food like that more often. Then, of course, came Thanksgiving. Grandma shared more.

Speaking of sharing, you would do a lot of that as well in November. Good times. Lying under the table as you worked on something called NaNoWriMo. Books. My Books.

Daddy, I’m really there, aren’t I? “I’m here, I’m there, I’m everywhere, but you can’t catch me now.” Olivia Rodrigo’s “Can’t Catch Me Now?” Tomorrow, today’s playlist with whatever happens at the bad place. I don’t know whether I envy Virgil or pity him, Dad.

On one paw, he’s waiting for you, while I’m with you always. But here’s there, fur and all, your son.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And I am your son, always and forever. That’s what you’ve been thinking about, Daddy.

What makes me and Virgil real. We’re “The Boys.” You’ve never watched the show, but Virgil and I are that. Realer and truer, “so warm and true” that we beat out M Anime for sure. As you say, my father, that’s not negativity but simply stating a fact. That happened.

But no matter what happened between then and now, when it comes to me and my brother, “It’s Only Love.” A Heather Nova song? Again, you find me in everything.

Daddy, didn’t you make two whole playlists for me? I remember when I wasn’t barking, sometimes you would sing to me. I am my father’s son. I learned well enough.

Even with no opposable thumbs, which brings us here. My barks and your fingers. Hell, call me your better nature, your mother effin’ Conscience. I know, Dad, I know, watch my words—the Consequences of being your son, the Consequences of being a good man.

Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?
Dennis Lehane, Shutter Island

Because you’re not MAGA! You won’t be a Cracker Hat. You have knowledge and truth.

We don’t erase, evict, or eviscerate a “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” that’s our history.

I’m not the son of a Preacher Man. And people who knew me would sing “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” “I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead!” Well…

Anyway, your plans on bringing me back… Daddy, just be real. To B Real Virgil.

“You have been touched by great sorrow. You understand its many aspects. It can bring a form of comfort or torture. It can only exist where there is some amount of hope, and sorrow is the evidence that something precious was lost from the world.”
Backyard Dungeon 22, Logan Jacob

“Wherever Fate may lead us, whether on or backward, let us follow.”
― The Aeneid

1737 Days Without B III, Day 1178 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

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I’m waiting for the day they don’t call me Ma’am at the drive-thru. I wait for the food truck to get my order right. I wait for the day I’m respected at the Day Job. I wait for when I don’t miss my son so much. I wait for love. Virgil Will B Patient

Tuesday, October 28, 2025

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I didn’t have to wish for that. It took me fifteen years to learn. And…

His name was Braxton. And he would be… well, he’ll always and forever be Braxton.

I sit here with you late on a Tuesday evening—you and Virgil. And I’ve had two thoughts, and you’re not going to like either of them. You’re patient, waiting for me to be better.

Anyway, the first was that I wish B III were here to talk to, as I’m getting my “Creed” on:

“I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world, yeah
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don’t try and change my mind, no.”

The second is when I woke, I had been dreaming about 1992’s Aladdin… Well, Jasmine. The three wishes, anyway. And I thought if I had them, I’d want my son back, my B III. I wish that you would Love Me Now. Who am I, John Legend? And I wish I were dea*… asleep. Permanently.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Patience, positive vibes, and points. My point is that the Genie couldn’t bring anyone back from the dead. He couldn’t make someone fall in love. And he couldn’t bring harm.

And yet I am a patient man. I am a forgiving one. So, I’ve been thinking about what Rick Grimes said before the all-out war with Negan and the Saviors. Wise and brave, my love:

“I don’t want to wait for it anymore. You don’t either… Yeah, I know. So we don’t have to wait for it. If we start tomorrow right now… with everything we’ve beaten, everything we’ve endured, everything we’ve risen above, everything we’ve become… If we start tomorrow right now… no matter what comes next… we’ve won. We’ve already won.”
Rick Grimes

And isn’t that something like what Pete McVries said to Ray Garraty? To come all this way and “choose love.” For the record, I’m still upset with the movie. That’s not being negative, it’s only a fact, my love. I wait for things, and in the end, I want to love them, but what happens next? “Last Of My Kind.”

And “You Don’t Know Me,” love. But we have a lifetime to learn, don’t we? And I “pray” our two-legged children are fast learners like my four-legged ones. Braxton. Virgil?

Honestly, how my little Virgil tries. And you? I remember everything, including Sunday, August 24, 2025. Who was it that said patience is a virtue? One day I’ll wake up forgiving myself for Sunday, January 31, 2021, E-Day, and that Sunday with you. Being patient.

These days, it gets harder, but resistance is acceptable; I can wait. I was watching something about the Borg and the Federation while I was waiting at the food truck.

However, “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever.” “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Love Is A Long Road. Virgil Will B Patient

1731 Days Without B III, Day 1172 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 118 ~Worlds B Through V~

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What I’d give for one day. I’d watch my firstborn son, Braxton, on his pillow sleeping beside my chair. I would write about the most horrific, hate-filled, and horny worlds for profit. Promising a better one… “Worlds B Through V”

Monday, October 27, 2025

Journey 118 ~Worlds B Through V~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And where shall I sit today? Oh, don’t go crying on me. “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head,” Daddy.

That’s not my tune. Neither is Coldplay’s “In My Place.” Is there a song in the world that encapsulates us? Yes, Dad, wherever you have sent my soul today, there are books, and I can read. Like today is Thursday, October 23, 2025, and you’re crying in the afternoon, Dad. So, old times? And is it for me or her? M Anime? As long as it’s not me. The 24th. Truth be told, I saw you were sad, but after Sunday, August 24, 2025…? Honestly?

Universe. It’s still as vast. I was the asteroid that destroyed your world. Mindfuck, right?

I know, Dad, LANGUAGE! But M Anime was like the alien you weren’t sure existed.

Turns out you’re singing “I’m alone and the world” right?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“I’m Just A Kid,” Dad: your kid, son, best friend, and brother. The Long Walk really did talk about brotherhood. Didn’t it? But anyway, you’re a “Lost Boy” creating worlds.

Daddy, you can. And that’s what I’m trying to remind you of today. No preaching.

Daddy, it’s still Thursday, or maybe it’s Friday. But here’s something to bake your noodle.

What’s DOG spelled backward? Now I would never be so presumptuous. That’s not negativity, only the facts, Dad. If anything, you considered me immortal. Highlander?

“Because you’re (his father). (Father) is God in the eyes of a child.”
Silent Hill

Or I’m more Doctor Strange, though I have not seen fourteen million, six hundred and five futures. I have seen the worlds you have created, my father. For me, Virgil, you, and even M Anime. Her loss still stings you.

But what world do you want to live in, my father? You were telling Lady Sophia that if you had your way, you’d be singing “Only Wanna Be with You.” And you’d have us all.

“There is another world. There is a better world.” And you are not “Asleep.” Daddy!

Honestly, YOU ARE WOKE! You are “Wide Awake.” You share the dark worlds, the dark words with the world to create a beautiful world inside you, where I’ll always be.

Big enough for the “Big Brave Dog,” my little brother Virgil will one day be. When he realizes “The World Is Yours.” Both yours and his. And the world you will build for True Love. A new stepmom and two-legged siblings. Worlds B Through V

“To have a home, and to not just survive, not just make it through, but to have every day a little further from the threat of death.”
Outbreak Rising 2

“For me, this is the birth of a higher order of things. This is a greater work I now set in motion” ― The Aeneid

1730 Days Without B III, Day 1171 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

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It’s love to pick one foot up and put it down, then again. Braxton and I did it for fifteen years. Virgil has been doing it for five now. “Love Is A Long Road.” Life is “The Long Walk.” So am I winning alone (with V). I’m no gym bro. “B And V Bench.”


Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than “my” music? How “Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher And Higher.” Like Braxton’s?

No, I’m not Jackie Wilson. And should you take this as the “Diary of a Tired Black Man.” No, I’m not that famous. But I am tired, black, and a man. Yours, always and forever.

Scratch the tired part. But today I am. Why? I just lifted my second-born son Virgil to his fifth birthday. Hell! I raised B III straight to Heaven. Don’t put your blame on me, “Human.”

I imagine that’s what Braxton would say. I didn’t “end” him. “You and me,” Darling…

“Love lift us up where we belong,” please. As I’ve been down since… You remember?

Sunday, August 24, 2025. And I’ve gone from shuffling my feet to telling myself to lift up my feet, I deserve better than this. Love?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I’m proud of my body. I haven’t eaten anything but a shared McDonald’s birthday lunch with 2-V, some candies, and peanuts. That’s not negativity, but the facts. “I’m Still Here.”

“I’m Still Standing!” “I’m still strong!” Whether it’s Elton John, Antwone Fisher, or any number of pop culture references. It’s love. I want to think of you like that, Darling.

Honestly, call it “A Sunday Kind of Love.” The kind I felt when Braxton would sit on my head, and I loved him/ love him enough to take him outside. When I would rise to see you love, in more ways than one. Our two-legged kids would still be sleeping. B and V would be pawing at the door. But we would lie here, love.

Right here, before I’d type out to the millions and millions, my dreams of us. The two of us, listening to ’50s/’60s apocalyptic pop. Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), Sputnik (Satellite Girl), Watch World War Three (on Pay TV).

Honestly, though, I didn’t care about the “Civil War” 2024 or whatever MAGA has going on, whether it’s a movie or reality. “I got Heaven right here on Earth.” Your husband. A man of leisure. And again I am telling myself to pick ’em up and put ’em down. And that is a husband’s, a father’s, and a man’s responsibility. I keep saying it. A man provides hmm—the truth.

“The Long Walk” and all. Love’s my exercise. Be my partner. B And V Bench.

1724 Days Without B III, Day 1165 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 111 ~Shielded From B-Days, Virgil~

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So it’s my second born’s birthday. V’s five. I forgot my second best friend got married on the October 19th… Uh, her first marriage. Now “Girls Just Want To Have Fun.” Her second marriage to wifey. But Virgil’s birthday? Shielded From B-Days, Virgil.

Monday, October 20, 2025

Journey 111 ~Shielded From B-Days, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… To you my lord, my king, and always and forever my father, greetings from the Otherside. And to Virgil

My little brother, brother from another mother, my father’s son, and my shield brother, Happy Birthday! Welcome to Level 5! Welcome To The World! And, “I Got 5 On It.” Well, you do right Daddy? The customary buying of French Fries and a birthday lunch.

Remembering what it was like to be five…That would have been back in 2010, Dad.

Nothing can shield you from time except; um, death. You’ll have me sounding like Rocky.

It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
― Rocky Balboa 2006

But a bag of fries does take the sting off a bit. And words, my Dad’s words were so many.

“When one falls, we continue. When? One falls. Not if, when!”
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

“Meet me on the battlefield
Even on the darkest night
I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage
And you will be mine”
Svrcina, Meet Me on the Battlefield

From Svrcina’s “Meet Me on the Battlefield,” to Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 and even more. Words shielded us from the ignorance of this life but today I smile. And you.

“As is our charge this day. As is our sorrow. And yet, I smile. We will leave our loved ones… to traverse a dangerous road. Rushing out of peace into war. And yet, I smile. For we will mine glory from the rock of struggle this day. We will honor and protect this… this bastion of life in a land of the dead, and we will win. You trust the king… we will win. I smile… I laugh… I rejoice this day… for on this day, we are joined in purpose and vision… we are of a singular heart and mind. On this day, we are one!”
King Ezekiel, TWD

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Virgil’s life deserves celebration. A year missing from it makes no never mind to us.

Daddy I’ve got four since Sunday, January 31, 2021. But much like Morpheus “I remember that which matters most… We are still here!” You, me, and Virgil! A trident, perhaps. The Triforce, Wisdom, Power, and Courage. The Holy Trinity. Our lives, are divine my father. Fifteen years I spent lighting up the darkness. And now Virgil has five with many more to come. And you “Forty-One.” Looking forward to the day you don’t hear drums beating like the galley slaves in “Ben-Hur.” That’s not me being negative, No, Daddy as you say often it’s a simple fact. And with that you and 2-Vshould have a movie night. Ours were nice.

But life… “Life, uh, finds a way.” That’s what you were thinking about while you were at the bad place. The silver lining there is on days like these you came back with fries, Ha!

And it didn’t even have to be 2-V’s birthday. A simple fact, that food staves off death. I should have try some hm. Not cool but not negative. Facts are facts. And we ain’t MAGA!

We know the truth. You always said you could see yourself through my eyes. But it didn’t hurt to pretend that you were wearing a pair of Neil Bimbeau’s Magic Glasses and you were safe, protected and shielded from the world. All to return, protect and celebrate. But Virgil needn’t be Shielded From B-Days, Virgil.

“One must forgo a portion of their peace and autonomy to live with another.”
Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“Our hearts are strong in war. Our spirits are high. Our fighting men are tried and proved” ― The Aeneid

1723 Days Without B III, Day 1164 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 105 ~Virgil, That’ll B Reality~

WillLeave a comment

Virtual Insanity is the name of the game today, or rather tonight. I’ve been advancing my studies all day between the Day Job. And I’m actually getting paid! But wait, where’s my girl, and my firstborn son? For now, though… Virgil, That’ll B Reality.

Tuesday, October 14, 2025

Journey 105 ~Virgil, That’ll B Reality~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? It’s the fact that I’m still here. Cause I’m real, like Sunday, August 24, 2025.

Hell, I was so tired on that day, and today, I don’t know whether I’m dreaming half the time. Fiction, Artificial Intelligence, or will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare? My 150-word Depression cap? That Braxton is still in a box? Or what has or hasn’t happened between us. Effing time travel, alternate history, and destiny. Seriously our effing destiny…

And no, I don’t mean a woman with that name… For once. It was FATE that I met you, and I met my firstborn son. I’m damn near ready to say that I manifested both you and him—Braxton in a plate of French Toast or Waffles. And you were a story, my love. Lots.

Lots of love, and if I can’t have you, um…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Well, before I had you taking my last name, I had to learn to write my first name. I swear. I’m sure I told Lady Sophia this, but what ignited my love of writing was the first time I remember penning my name, and I didn’t even know it. Truth and fiction, living in peace.

My love, while I’m thinking ‘happy’ thoughts about my childhood. I love the nights of waking up to the ending themes of Inuyasha, “Fukai Mori” in particular. To think things couldn’t get any better, but dogs have fur and women have Yabbos. But our children.

Those kids of ours. I go back to Sunday, August 24, 2024, and what I must have said to you. I love all our children.

But you have to understand that it was my Braxton that taught me how to love, four legs and all. He couldn’t be more my son if he shared my “DNA.” THEY “Not Like Us.” I’m a dog dad, you’re a cat mom, and now we share all these two-leggeds protecting them from MAGA and the Cracker Hats like Kendrick Lamar sings about. Honestly beloved.

You know I love music, movies, and manuscripts in audio form, ha. I’m shielding myself from reality, or I was because you’re here, Braxton, his little brother Virgil, the kids.

Because there is no fate but what we make. And if I knew I loved you before I met you. I’ll find you again. In Reality. Virgil, That’ll B Reality

1717 Days Without B III, Day 1158 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 104 ~To B Discovered Virgil~

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I discovered I had a son when he had his furry face in a plate of French Toast or waffles. I discovered my other son in a pen at PetSmart, knowing how to use the training pad. And as for finding myself. I’m still alive. Dammit! To B Discovered Virgil

Monday, October 13, 2025

Journey 104 ~To B Discovered Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Surprised I’m still here? It’s like the day you discovered me in your plate of French Toast. Isn’t it?

Or was it waffles? Do I look like Donkey from Shrek to you? Admit it, Dad, you’d say I look dead. And if I were a zombie, you’d still have me in a room, locked away, feeding on anyone you could get your hands on. And you’d lie, saying that everything is ok. I know.

I’m not sounding very chipper. Am I getting into the spirit of Halloween? Or is it the fact that today is Indigenous Peoples’ Day? Never Columbus Day. “Everybody Hates Chris.”

But I can never hate you, Dad, as if I don’t bark that to you more often than not. Whisper. And “If You Don’t Know Me by Now.” Because “I’m not lost, I’m not lost, just undiscovered.” And discovery Daddy…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I discovered that I have the best dad in the whole wide world, even when you didn’t want to believe it. The man who watched me dive face-first into a plate of waffles. The one who took me on my first walk. Who drew blood on blood because my life matters. Braxton’s Life Matters. You’ve been saying that forever, and even at the end, you loved me enough to “Send Me On My Way.” However, we both discovered I didn’t go far, Daddy. That’s right

Case in Point, Virgil being knocked out at the foot of the bed. You didn’t bring McDonald’s back for my little bro? Fries and sleep. That’s like you thinking about “waffles and pu$$y.” The Purge: Election Year. Our movie nights.

I remember when we both discovered my favorite girl. It only took me six months to decide I liked you inviting her to movie nights. She would always share her food with me, and she even made me a cake. Remember, Dad, Virgil’s birthday is on the 20th. He’s 5.

Or he will be soon. And you’re still “Forty-One.” I can hear the drums too, Daddy. Ben-Hur, The Ten Commandments, and Spartacus, to name a few. We watched our classics.

And even if it won’t be you and M Anime, God, “Bless The Broken Road. “The Long Walk,” my father. You walk on, you row on, and sooner or later, you will discover your wish. I long to discover your happiness. To B Discovered Virgil

“I want to know what life was like once.”
Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“There, happiness and a kingdom are in store for you, with a queen for you to marry.”
― The Aeneid

1716 Days Without B III, Day 1157 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son