Tag: Mourn

Tale 262 ~Love Lies, B…eing Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Breathe in and out. It’s a simple thing. But I got the paperwork from the vet’s proving how hard it is. I have more than enough from the Day Job, doctor’s office, and my dad. I hope to have some for a bigger family. Hmm. Love Lies, B…eing Virgil

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Tale 262 ~Love Lies, B…eing Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… And it hurts sometimes. Good morning to you. But pain, fear, and missing my boy.

The things that get me up in the morning. What about love? It’s at the core of everything, my love. But I know what you’re asking. “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” With us?

Before we go any further, is that today’s tunage sent by my Braxton? Please! Ha-Ha! Neither is the zombie ambiance that, by the day, is more and more of a habit to listen to while writing. Why not listen to you, my beautiful wife? I love you. Those three words.

Always, always, I long to hear them but there is so much more. So much that it overflows, overwhelms, and overtakes me. And all I’m trying to do is keep breathing for a moment longer.

To hear my Braxton breathe.

But what about you, our children, Virgil, all the things I’ve built, all we’ve created? Dearest, “Hey Lover,” I’m being bombarded by the winds. Even now, they’re turning my pages… Not literally! I usually read on a tablet. There’s the sound of Haley playing, trying to blow away the sounds of the dead with her “Hurricane.” There’s in and out…

Breathing, my love, I wonder.

Why? So I hear, I love you. And I do, my love, always and forever. I will always mean it. But it is the same for my Braxton. It didn’t end when he lay in his bed and fell asleep.

Like father, like son, love.

I’ve been a fan of The Walking Dead forever. But when Braxton joined the Dead…

Where he goes, I will follow. But not this time, because there’s all this Air. How do THEY say, water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink? Air, Air, everywhere, and not a want to breathe. But because there’s love? To think those that I love would outnumber B.

And if I were to lose you or anyone, especially by my hand. Is that why I lie here, love?

Isn’t that what took my Braxton? The day he needed me, I wrapped him up in my arms and slept away the humiliation, heckles, and hatred of all those who would draw breath. In particular, myself, the man in the mirror? I miss my B III’s eyes looking towards me.

Yours? Love Lies, B…eing Virgil

1143 Days Without B III, Day 584 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 260 ~Let’s B Bright Virgil~

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I prefer “not too bright though” to STUPID, or village idiot. That is one of the reasons I don’t talk to my Olds. And hate the Day Job. But I try to be bright? I read. I adopted Virgil. I wear a smile like a “magical negro” Let’s B Bright Virgil

Sunday, March 17, 2024

Tale 260 ~Let’s B Bright Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And as with most days, I can’t stand looking at you. That’s how you wake up? Hmm?

Spending Money? Listening to Monsters moan in the background. Reading about a man and the Many women he’s having… relations with? At least you’re not watching it. “Am I Wrong?” And always, always, there is Missing your son. If only B III were here now.

Would you be… brighter? Smarter, cheery, or kinder? Whatever you hold bright to be at the moment. The only thing things bright right now are screens and the lamp shining.

Because being, you don’t know, better… well, that’s a dream. But thanks to that energy shot you took… Yeah, you won’t be wasting any time until 11:00 AM. Lying, really.

Whenever it comes to being lazy or making up an excuse. And your favorite? That’s failing at Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Healing Journey of Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

THEY say you’ll go blind if you keep touching “it.” It may be odd that it can apply to #1 or #4. Whenever you cut on the screen in near darkness to read. I swear one of these days. And again, you could be doing something far worse. How many ladies have you seen from 4:00 AM – 7:00 AM. In three hours, have you been anywhere close to productive? Hmm.

Grieving for B III and ensuring 2V is ok is not you wasting time. But you still feel pretty bad. But it’s better than a couple of days ago. Just wait. I said plenty, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.”

Is that the first song of the day? I’ve heard it like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 7 by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

If you can’t be happy for yourself, why not for others. You can lighten, brighten, or shut the “you know what” up for some people. Only Cherry would like to hear your thoughts on her writing than her other… assets. But I’ve never been bright with girls. That’s for sure.

You’re feeling bad that you gave Backyard Dungeon 7 only four stars. Five’s too much? And what about “The American Society of Magical Negroes.” I’m sure the critic will love hearing that title. But I told B’s Aunt it was a decent three out of five. So you can’t talk.

Never saying anything nice, needed, or noteworthy. What’s in your head, bends over, bounces, or involves Braxton? But smart and bright… Let’s B Bright Virgil.

1141 Days Without B III, Day 582 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 255 ~Spell Manhood, B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Don’t crying to your Mama. Cause you’re on your own in the real world. I swear I hear that song every day at the Day Job. And here I am, nearly 40 and ready to text mine because… You wouldn’t believe it. Where’s my pride or mind? Spell Manhood, B, V.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Tale 255 ~Spell Manhood, B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… My spelling could be called into question. My courage, too. Even this very existence, love.

But my love for you should never be in doubt despite everything. I’ll even include the loss of my son. I love you. That is the correct answer. And yet, I remain full of questions.

Since yesterday? Try, 1136 days ago. But Monday was a particularly hard one. And you know what I do with a hard one. Eww! Well, no! You like my sense of humor. And what was it that Marilyn Monroe said? If you make a woman laugh and all that. My love, I’m trying to figure out how to provide. Please! Isn’t that solved, considering billions?

Existing isn’t the problem. Living is. “We’re the ones who live.” Of course, I would be one to quote “The Walking Dead.” A dead man.

And what does that make you? My Sabriel, my Michonne, one of Jacob’s, Grayson’s, or Eddie’s girls. I swear! For my love of pop culture. I started my day reading “Backyard Dungeon 7.” Because I don’t love what’s going on outside in our backyard. Braxton?

Yeah, my firstborn would have something to “bark” about that. And what about the front…

That’s what I’ve been thinking about since yesterday. Besides Braxton, wondering where my bravery is and giving into, boo… I mean Cantaloupes. Critics and censorship can be as spoiled as our children, if not worse. But who am I to talk? Husband, Father, Owner, Man…

A Monster, Ahh! My Love…

As the song goes, “I wanna be your man.” Ha-Ha. But what Braxton sent today…

My son tried. “God” knows he tried. All the moments when I thought I had become a man. I didn’t chase those moments… necessarily. But nevertheless, they came, my love.

The first time a girl let me… I thought, yeah, I’m a man. No! It meant I officially like girls.

What about the first time I got into a fight? I’ve never been to war. But the mere act of breathing for me… Not that I mean to offend fighters, warriors, or soldiers. But my manhood? War never changes. The fight never ends. Yet I look out the window and… I want to call my Ma. Well, text because I am without courage. And manhood.

There’s you, our children, Braxton, Virgil. Spell Manhood, B, V

1136 Days Without B III, Day 577 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 253 ~Virgil Flies Row B~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t been on a plane in forever. There was that brief stint in the Navy. Uh, I can’t swim. So, no flying, no swimming, just one foot in front of the other while carrying B, who I sent to Heaven. And V, I’m trying to keep out. Virgil Flies Row B.

Sunday, March 10, 2024

Tale 253 ~Virgil Flies Row B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And today’s “Termination” is brought to you by the song “Leaving On A Jet Plane.” Two things…

One: yes, you believe that your son still sends you songs from wherever. B III is an angel. Two, can you stop watching Hulu’s The Mill? But yes, this feels like a “termination.” Tomorrow, the Day Job may impose another rule, making you want to join Braxton. But then again, whenever you and I talk, well… Tearing yourself down? It’s habitual. It’s nearly a science.

Take, for example, your flying. Flying means putting one foot before the other and not falling flat on your face. And hey! You didn’t fall that far yesterday, hitting your head. Sorry about that. It hurts being “productive.” Anyway, flying to you is your voice reaching Heaven. Not for Braxton… how about how fast you fly from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 6 by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

It looks like you remembered this week. I still failed, but these things exist indefinitely. Unlike the dudes, you call your best friends. Braxton and Virgil. Well, B anyway, hmm?

But let’s speak of dreams. You only remember a little because you woke up early carrying Virgil to his training pad. I’ve had to keep my pants on for three days. Seeing to Virgil’s health.

Okay, you remember the part of your dream: You were with Rachel Zegler/Lucy Gray Baird, who wore a rose dress. It was something akin to Katie O’Shaughnessy’s outfits. Ha!
So you were holding her in your arms, and she said she was scared. And did you think your Ma invited her to… Well, um? Please keep trying, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Healing Journey of Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Fortunately, your dream didn’t take things that far. You’re still not going to Heaven. But if you continue to look after Virgil Vivi as you have… Only you ask yourself this question once again. Sigh

Should Virgil go and see the veterinarian? You have a lot of time these days. But that also means a lot less money. And you still want to be a greedy so-and-so with your tax refund. I know. With Braxton, you didn’t care about money. And he still got sent straight to the pearly gates.

Now, you want to make sure your money stays put. Only you won’t make the pages of your writing fly. And hurtful words from the critic and yourself… Fly, you fool! Virgil Flies Row B

1134 Days Without B III, Day 575 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 248 ~Hear B, Hear V~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t know what kind of man I am. But for this week, at least, I would be glad if I could be a voice. And what would I say? When did I last say I love you to anyone besides my dead fur buddy? And no one would understand it. Hear B, Hear V

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

Tale 248 ~Hear B, Hear V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… If there’s one thing, I want you to understand. It’s that I love you, Always.

We’ve only just begun to live, as the song goes. I should find another way to communicate other than with pop culture references. As if you haven’t been hearing it all this time, my love. Braxton didn’t care. He understood me in one way, but you are much different. Right.

Braxton knows me as his father. And to you, I’m a… uh… fine man. But you both know me as a friend. And I’m sure on many occasions, I was “Daddy.” Do you know what I am saying? Because that’s what’s been bothering me since last week. Not being understood.

And I don’t know how to say what I need to say. Ever. The why should be easy, my love.

I love you. That’s all.

So why do I continue to mourn and grieve for my Braxton? I don’t know how to say goodbye. You’re a testament to that as well. You’re here. That’s how we live, isn’t it, love?

I’m here, we’re here, they’re here. We all are right here. And I don’t know how to move on. I need the words to move people. Even if it’s good or bad at this point. I need to communicate. And when someone tells you, you’re inappropriate and irrelevant, my love.

Why do you keep speaking? I ask myself every time I look in the mirror. With enough money, what I say is OK. I use others’ looks in the businesses I run. But please listen.

I love you. Please understand!

But I miss my boy. I miss B III. And I don’t see why that is so hard to understand, love. And as far as 2V, my love? I took responsibility. Friendship, love, and happiness? Understand that I wish I could be the man that I once was. I don’t want to remember the child I was. And then there was Braxton. Now, I’m trying to figure out everything else.

But our love. And not only that, but anything and everything nobody wants to understand. Or it’s me. I can love plenty without loving myself. I’m ain’t happy. And I shouldn’t say I am happy for everyone else. But I’ll be glad if you’re happy, our children, Braxton and Virgil. Understand? Hear B, Hear V

1129 Days Without B III, Day 570 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 246 ~”B” Cause Looking Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I look down for a few reasons, but the ones I like the best… when I wasn’t carrying Braxton, he was running around my legs. Or I could be looking at my new home when I die. And B wouldn’t go to Hell. But if I were there…” B” Cause Looking Virgil

Sunday, March 3, 2024

Tale 246 ~”B” Cause Looking Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… and is there anything worse to see. Medusa? My son’s cold body? Things with your Enormous… manhood.

For once, you can’t say that B was the first thing on your mind. Nope! Waking up at two in the morning with all the lights on, there was stress. And when you’re stressed, you…

But Braxton was/is the same way. You know why he loves his Aunt so much. Is there anything that can’t be fixed with a pair of… Yeah, they can’t bring back your son B III.

You’re sitting here in bed looking at Virgil. Do you think Braxton was talking to you the day you found Virgil? Except for the “Enormous P” song… That definitely wasn’t a sign from Braxton. But everything else seems to be. Your week has only just begun. But following Braxton was my existence. Better or worse

That was in the vicinity of fifteen years or such. You must leave out the few months your sister was supposed to meet B III’s needs. More like a few days when she was handing out a schedule. Or when I had to sit on the couch and watch until B used his potty pan.

I was always looking out for him. Until those last few days of January 2021. When I was so blinded by wrath, ruin, and rage that I couldn’t see Braxton’s pain. God, so much hurt!

And now, every single day, you’re looking for B. And your reason is? Anything, Anything! What do you see or hear from him today? Or were you lost to your sins? Forgetting Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Losing A Pet – A Book of Grief & Recovery, etc.
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I failed number two because of… well, look at the pictures on Tale 245 ~Virgil’s B’s In Math~. I have a particular theme going with men and women. And I suppose you’ll follow suit, won’t you? I’m the last person you should be looking to for advice. That’s no secret.

You should ask Braxton for advice on Thursday or every day. Maybe? For sure, Ha-Ha! His eyes were much easier than looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, “Yuck!”

Like you thought before, it’s like looking at Medusa. The body… keep the monster kink to a minimum. But seeing the eyes turns you to stone. Fear, fury, and knowledge that you don’t see a friend. Virgil doesn’t see a father…” B” Cause Looking Virgil

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 6 by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

1127 Days Without B III, Day 568 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 241 ~Virgil Loves To B~

WillLeave a comment

Ask me the type of man I want to be. A good one, godly, one that is gone? I wouldn’t leave my family, but it was the other way around with Braxton. And did I tell him to go? Not in so many words. But Virgil’s here, alive. Virgil Loves To B?

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Tale 241 ~Virgil Loves To B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… I love being in love. But much like the Marquis de Sade’s views on lust.

Love is in everything, everywhere entire. Well, not if you’ve turned on the TV and looked at your phone. Then there’s your husband. I often compare myself to a zombie. However, I’m not “gone” yet. My boy still is —my B III. And I still feel that he’s out there.

Braxton’s love? He and I are still connected, like father, like son. As the song goes, “No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do. To make you feel my love.” While I’m on a musical kick, what about, “And I would do anything for love. But I won’t do that.” What?

Give up, my boy? I did, and I didn’t. I wish I could still blame my hand. But that doesn’t explain my laziness right now.

Three years ago, I was writing plenty. I wrote two tales, both for my little boy. But for what? Hmm. How often have I prattled on about B III, and you’ve been here to listen?

And it was only a year and some change. I was putting cash down to save Virgil Vivi. Saying it like that makes me think. What an insult! Since I couldn’t save Braxton. Or us?

I love you. You are my life. And if I ever get back to the Red Rising series, you’ll be my Eo saying, I must live for more. But I do live for you and our family. And yes, I make sure Virgil is still breathing. Because if something were to happen to me, love…

Would anyone even notice? Again, it’s like I’m a zombie. A time-traveling zombie. Now, that is an idea worth exploring. But not now since it’s Sunday, February 25, 2024. That means The Walking Dead is coming back. Well, “The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live,”

Today, am I doing that? It’s a hard thing bringing back the dead. How did Jesus get it done? Oh, I can hear the holy rollers now saying he is God. And what about the whole God is love verse? And I’ll give you one more musical verse… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.”

Or she… You’d love to bring me back as a friend, lover, husband, and father. Virgil wants to be a dog. Virgil Loves To B

1122 Days Without B III, Day 563 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 239 ~I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

A new week, another sin. Though I have talked about my envy before as if I’m some teen girl. Uh, I could talk about my body. But I see the young woman with her writing and her cat. The two writers with new series, etc., “I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil.”

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Tale 239 ~I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And is this what you said to me this morning? Or to Virgil Vivi. Didn’t think so.

And you wish you could say it to B. Nothing is stopping you. Well, except for reading yet another book about dead fur babies. That’s after reading about another’s birthday.

To watch others be successful with their furry children, and where’s Braxton? In a box. Virgil is still with you. I should count him as a success. Yet, like me, you stood out in the breeze waiting for Virgil to give a what… Bathroom humor is beneath you. You think?

But what about jealousy? That’s what last week was all about, “Hey Jealousy.” And you’re not only thinking about the kind between a man and a woman. You were looking at this woman and her boyfriend… husband in Tokyo this morning, though. You should turn off Instagram. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But you have more chance of getting to Japan than finding a woman like her. How about ever being in love? Virgil knows all about that. It was cold this morning, but that’s not why V was shaking. At least not all of it. But he needs a coat. Don’t you think? Where’s the money?

I wasn’t a thinker. And you’re not holding out much hope for yourself or the world. At large? I swear, when you’re not looking at the failure you are, you can cut on the TV. There are endless stories of people’s failures. Or a person winning with everything in life.

Everyone else has got FAMILY. A guy is TikTok FAMOUS. And FINDING books… Uh?

And you are? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Losing A Pet – A Book of Grief & Recovery, etc.
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

My biggest win last week was finishing a book about harems. And there was watching “Five Nights at Freddy’s.” That was, at the last second, serving as a worthless excuse.

Today, I’m unsuccessful because… well, fill in the blank, dude.

And this week, as you work for the pittance to keep you alive. And you see Logan Jacobs and Eric Vall prospering with titles. A new audiobook and series, respectively. Speaking of looking at the phone. You’re reminded of how much of your time I wasted. I am Guilty. Sigh…

You’ll be guilty of being unsuccessful, and why? Laziness, Lust, and Liking those that DO…

Because it won’t be you, lying with Virgil singing If I could “Be Like That.”

Wanting a dad, wanting a son… I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil

1120 Days Without B III, Day 561 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 234 ~B’s Price Tag, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Love language? I should focus on quality time. But what do I spend all my time on? With my pop culture references, you’d think I’m an expert with Netflix and Chill. And how much is Netflix? What about my boys, books, and balls? B’s Price Tag, Virgil.

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Tale 234 ~B’s Price Tag, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But love’s not free. Sade sang, “Your Love Is King. Anastasia made it Christian’s song.

And as much as I agree that love is no prize. No. Love is a gift. But very expensive, sigh.

You can thank Mr. Dink for that one. Have I gone to buy a bunch of new gadgets yet, my love? As a billionaire, I know my tax refund must be enormous. But I’ll stick with Doug and not politics. And who pays the cable, satellite, and internet bills? I’m a man, aren’t I, love?

A very rich and wealthy man. But in my past… Hell! The businesses I’m running. Healing, addiction, obsession in all things sexual. The things we do for love. The price.

I don’t know how much my Old Man paid for Braxton to this day. Now Virgil Vivi Bradford was $150.00.

But my firstborn and then our firstborn. I swear when I first thought about money… Everything came back to power. Money is power. But in the face of love. Nothing.

There are billions of dollars, baby girl. But if I didn’t have you. Our family, children. Inevitably, the money would not be enough. But what more do I have to spend, save, and sell? Today, I’m thinking about time. How much time do I spend not loving? Well, myself, anyway.

Hell! I’m a billionaire. No! We are billionaires. “But you’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person.” And I ain’t Bill… You know, from Kill Bill Vol. 2. But right now, I feel like The Cable Guy, my dearest love.

I’m not making sense, but I’m trying, love. I’m trying.

I want to be real. Only it seems that I pay for one illusion after another. I don’t pay for fun, fucks, or freedom. Of course, “Freedom Ain’t Free.” These days, I pay to feel.

How much did I spend? All so I could continue feeling sad about my boy? I’m sad about Braxton every day, but I was looking at all the books I’ve read so far… I’m ashamed. There’s way more about getting out of this world or the world I wish to see. But you’re here, love.

And the price to stay. The price just to keep going. I love you, and you love me. But the illusion and the realness. I make bad financial decisions. Tag love. B’s Price Tag, Virgil

1115 Days Without B III, Day 556 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 232 ~Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Where’s my money? I’m sure the Bug guy. My Olds still paying for a BOY, not a man. And some girl with Big Yabbos are asking me. And what about my boys? To honor my son’s life and to keep Virgil alive. Tax “Refund” indeed. “Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil.”

Sunday, February 18, 2024

Tale 232 ~Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Only slightly richer… I swear it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours, and you’ve already wasted eight bucks.

Pray tell, on what? Since the critic won’t care to critique these words anyway, sigh.” (Doing your best impression of Emily), “He-He Tiddies! Or is this bill my fault? Hmm. To be fair. I didn’t cancel the subscription. And you’re not going to either; “SubscribeStar.”

But for the briefest of moments, the tax refund windfall… Just over $1000 felt incredible. And today, you have to figure out how to waste it all. There’s so much out there. It’s like choosing which set of Yabbos will get you off anytime. We’ll get to that failure, too.

Because you’re sitting here in bed. Notably earlier than yesterday. And what was your first thought of the day? Braxton, Virgil, dirty books, and dirty pillows. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
    Completed… “Outbreak Rising” Lara X. Lust
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I swear this was the closest I came to failing one. I was lucky; I had over a buck for Amazon. Outbreak Rising. And you even read some of the Princess Tamer Collection this morning.

As far as two and three. I always find a picture of B III. And while you’re up earlier, in more ways than one. Thanks to HaremLit and Cherry. How much writing will you do?

Of course, I failed four. Braxton’s aunt was showing off her great ink for her love, which was fantastic. Five.

Should you even bother with six? Again, look at where you are. Think of everything you’ve done from four AM to now. You’ve failed already.

Forget being poor in money. In spirit? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The only thing that beats being lazy and poor is being afraid. Be Not So Fearful. My advice to you. Nope. That would be Braxton. And Virgil? Thou Art Courageous.

There are things I want to say to you. Sigh. You know how I am with lists. But right now…

Hell! Once you pay off the termite guy. And if the Olds don’t come looking for what they deserve. Yes, you are thirty-nine and still a spoiled brat. What comes next? B III was easy.

Three years, and you will always remember that $600 windfall from the government. It went straight to Braxton’s test. And then for paying the boatman for Braxton’s safe passage. Sigh.

Money’s the root of all evil… Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil

1113 Days Without B III, Day 554 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will