Saga 181 ~The Stranger’s Virgil, B~

WillLeave a comment

Being a billionaire, as I claim most days, I’d build my own world in the house. Going to space involves too many people to deal with. But now I still have a stranger/fur baby in this house. So many strangers this week. “The Stranger’s Virgil, B”

Thursday, December 29, 2022

Saga 181 ~The Stranger’s Virgil, B~

697 Days Without B III, Day 138 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you still here? I only ever asked that once. The Saturday before you left.

I haven’t cried for you yet today. It’s still a little early. Though I did cry when the alarm went off. And currently, I’m watching “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life…” You know me, B. That’s After watching some porn in the bathroom. V is sleeping now. The thing is, I would have no problem sending him back… to your room, B. There are plenty of days that I want to go all Whisperer and say, “You are where you don’t belong.” How many times have I said it, Braxton? It’s been 138 days, Braxton. Don’t they say it takes 90 for a fur baby to acclimate? With you, I’m not sure, but you were a puppy. A Jedi. Fearless

But that hasn’t been me these past few days. If Virgil ain’t you, then is he me? Sometime this week, I said I was Virgil. Hell! I’m scared to death of everything and everyone, B III. One more reason to cry. Between three different humiliations at the auto shop. Day Job. Oh yeah, Triple B, the Humiliations Galore continue there. And those are nonstop B III. There was my first UBER ride, which was a new experience. Excuse me, four humiliations. The ride back to the house. Although you were never one for driving around town. Inevitable the shame that will be coming to me soon. I have to go to the post office. And should I get the car rechecked? More like my brain

Then again, I had you for that. Only now, B, I can talk to you “Anytime.” You’re everywhere, yet I want you right back here next to me. I don’t mean to be a dick, but I don’t want this usurper lying here. I should have thought of that Saturday, August 13, 2022, right B? Only I thought I saw you. Somehow, someway, I was listening to you. Promise Braxton. He remains a stranger to me, even after all this time. And I’m still being a meanie. Do you think? For example, yesterday I went to that hot dog shop. A pepper dog, onion rings. I didn’t feel like sharing with Virgil. After a late lunch, Virgil and I didn’t speak. The Stranger’s Virgil, B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 180 ~Urge To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Urge to write? It’s more like fear because today is going to be damn hard. And I could go all Marvin Gaye “When I get that feeling….” But the only thing I want to do now is puke and go to bed. The urge to live the boys did/do. “Urge To B Virgil”

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Saga 180 ~Urge To B Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That means I’m not WOKE… I cry a lot, and I spend others’ money. I’m Virgil.

Inspector, I wonder if Virgil wants to be Virgil this second, which saddens me. Besides Braxton being gone and all. Of everything, I can say about my son. Survival? Braxton’s last look. I go back and forth with it, but today I’ll say B III wanted to live Echo. Ironic that I am the same way. But we’ll get to that. You know I’m one for physical pain over any mental anguish. Take today, for example, Tuesday, December 27, 2022. I’ve wanted to puke most of the day because I am so humiliated about the car. Hell! I barely made it to the auto shop before the wheel gave out. And now, today/tomorrow, you know what I’m going to do. Day Job’s Humiliations Galore incoming.

Because the urge to live… Not want or need but the notion. And you know it’s one I should ignore. I didn’t Monday. And today, as the world crumbled, I had to get pretty STUPID. More like perverted? Because I don’t want to think with a big head. Bigger head? Inspector Echo, was that a dick joke? I wish I were only making jokes about it but this fucked up day. Well, this whole fucked up year. I’m going broke. But no, not my cock. And an urge to release. Obsession is more like it. I should find out when I stopped before, but that was before Braxton died, and afterward, it was like 161 days. 559 days later, I had to cover up again.

Only Virgil sleeps in B’s Room plenty. Today it was all about survival, then masturbation. I haven’t even cum in a few days, but I only want to sleep. I don’t mean taking some naps. As I said, I was surviving today. More like I didn’t want the humiliation of dying on the road. I swear, Inspector Echo if Virgil weren’t here right now… But he is so Doordash, anyone? I can’t have Virgil Vivi starving, so I ordered a bag of food for him. Myself? I seemed to have lost my appetite. An urge to, well… should I say it? Inspector, you’ll see this tomorrow, so don’t you fret. Unless I get lucky, the alarms fail. Then curse the day. Urge To B Virgil

696 Days Without B III, Day 137 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 179 ~ Virgil’s Holidays To B~

WillLeave a comment

You wake up, and your cat… dog in my case. Your son, a future, isn’t there anymore. I tell myself that tomorrow will be “better.” People look forward to this time of year. For me, Jan 31, Feb 13, Aug 13, Sept 7, Oct 20, etc. “Virgil’s Holidays To B.”

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Saga 179 ~Virgil’s Holidays To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there’s always tomorrow. Yeah, I can take off in my rocket ship. Get perspective…

I’ve been thinking a lot about “The Great De-evolution” series. In particular, “The Last Astronaut” and “A Different Alchemy.” One man running away from the death of his fur-baby. And the other, from the death of his child. Pray tell, how do I relate, (snickers). Besides this one fact. Writing my own books kept me away from Braxton Barks Bradford. Because there was always tomorrow. Sacrifice today for tomorrow’s benefit. But as the song goes, “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone.” Or fifteen years, love. I thought Braxton would give me twenty. But that’s thinking too small. Here’s forever. Isn’t that what we are, my love? We got our kids though I still need to figure out Virgil. Being mean?

What! I bought him a gift, and honest to “God” I’ve been trying. But there is always tomorrow. For now, I need some sleep. I know it’s getting worse. One man went to space while the other headed north. And another thing about those men. They left their families. They didn’t see a future in the world. Is that what I’m saying? Why bother trying? That one day, B III will be gone for good. Hell! If I could be so lucky as to drop dead, then. I’m sure our children will think that of me in their teenage years. I want to be here for that. So am I seeing more time with them, with you? Memories with Braxton. Oh, and Virgil Vivi too.

Again yesterday, I was looking at books for “The Closing of the Year.” Not as many as last year, but there is always tomorrow. But what if there’s not? How long do I expect you, my Mrs. Claus, to keep waiting? Santa spends his whole year preparing. One big day. What about ours, my love? They have been different since Braxton, I know. Forgetful? Now you know that ain’t true. Part of me stays glued to that spot on Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then a part of me wants to be like those other fathers running away, love. Billionaires can buy rocket ships and tanks, so why not go all “The Tomorrow War?” Buy us a time machine? Yours and Virgil’s holidays… I’m so sorry. Virgil’s Holidays To B

695 Days Without B III, Day 136 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 178 ~Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions~

WillLeave a comment

The alarm goes off to work at a Day Job I hate, to see people I despise, so I can continue deviant, sinful, skeevy behaviors. And then I have a son/dog to mourn and a “friend”/dog to support. I’m a good liar, but Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions.

Monday, December 26, 2022

Saga 178 ~Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… that makes me a pretty big motherfucking liar. Pardon my French. That explains why I hate myself.

And yes, I will hate myself more. It’s all just icing on the cake with my big sin Madam J. The one thing that I never lie about. I killed my son. B III’s blood is on my hands always. And sure, with my time traveling and all. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon on Christmas day, so you know what that means about tomorrow. Hell! I could tell you about the liars I’m going to see. But what good would it do? To quote a Christmas film, “Scrape ’em off. You wanna save somebody? Save yourself!” Yes, I’m using that out of context. It’s practice. Madam, if anything, I need to become a better liar. The things I told my son. What I tell Virgil.

Well, not yet. By the time you read this, it will have been 135 days. But do you see any women walking around here? Only you on the page and perhaps in one Christmas gift. Relax, Madam, the money was already spent on an artist, Opiumud, and the porn “Bounty Hustler Queen rush!” Talk about something to do at Christmas. I still want a family? One of the things M Anime likes about me is I don’t lie to her. I’m like every other guy. That means, of course, I do. But I try to tell her how it is short of becoming Akon or Wheeler. I Wanna Fuck You, or God Told Me To Fuck You. With women, I need to be a “gentleman.”

Which is why I would both excel and fuck up being a member of the GOP. Oh, I can lie, J. The thing is, I own that shit. You notice I don’t say my bed, food, money or anything J. Madam, you want to know what I own, what’s mine? FEAR! I’m afraid of everything, everyone, every day, always. And the fact that I bother getting up in the morning means I lie constantly. So why do I want to sleep all day? Because I can’t stand a liar Madam. The lies get bigger, and so do the people that tell them. But B III and 2V? They don’t lie. And Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry… to be real. Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions.

694 Days Without B III, Day 135 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 177 ~Christmas Virgil, B Happy~

WillLeave a comment

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all that jazz. For now, the house is silent. Braxton would snore a bit sometimes, and V is like white noise. I’ve always expected to hear the pitter-patter of two-legged feet. But this “Christmas Virgil, B Happy?”

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Saga 177 ~Christmas Virgil, B Happy~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’ll try your best Captain America impression. “No. No, I don’t think I will.” Be positive.

It’s Christmas, after all. But you’ve never listened to me before. If you started, that would be a Christmas miracle. Well, you’re up before 7 AM. A good start for a Dad. Not his Dad. Let’s start over. AHEM, Merry Christmas, Braxton… wherever you are. And Virgil is a sleepyhead. He’s learning from the best. So how do you feel today? Um, be grateful ok. Well, when we finish our conversation here. Or Virgil needs to go out. Whatever happens first (gives a stern look). Maybe if you grow a beard, you can be more like Santa. And you did wear a mask the other day when shopping. There’s something positive; you have to give Virgil his gift. And you didn’t leave him crying yesterday.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Christmas Rescue, Elizabeth Kelly
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures FOR My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As for you? You’re going to cry today… goes without saying. And not only because you have a little fluff ball smashed against your leg trying to claim the bed’s center. Or because of all the shit in the world. The car, the air, the fire department. Your new toy? You should watch your language today of all days. And do we really need to talk about sex, baby ha-ha? Oh, you did say Merry Christmas to all the girls this AM. I wonder why? You know why. That’s life. Well, seeking to make life. But only one of those ladies might be interested in that. You’re only interested in going back to sleep. Consider today good practice for things to come. A new year?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING XL Candy Cane by Frankie Love
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s coming sooner than you know. Focus on now, ok—this Christmas, what comes next. Well, for a moment, you could forget about Six Impossible Things. Like always? Anyway, you have the big breakfast you promised yourself and Virgil, his first one here. I mean, sharing pancakes and such. And if you hurry, you can start napping away. Again you can prepare yourself for the future. And speaking of which, only one day will be a real test this week. You can never underestimate the Day Job. Humiliations Galore. You can have faith that everything is going to be alright. Bob Marley or Jacob Marley, you decide. And I’m hoping you choose to be “happy” too much. Be better? Trying… Merry Christmas, Virgil, B Happy.

693 Days Without B III, Day 134 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 176 ~To B Leave Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

If I didn’t know better, I’d be all, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Um, the only Christmas colors I’ve seen have been on “book” covers. And the toys I got the boys Friday, no holiday tags. But V sees a day I’m still here, and B… “To B Leave Virgil…”

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Saga 176 ~To B Leave Virgil…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That… is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be.” Especially tonight, right?

I wonder how Virgil feels about that. Day 133 for him here. Most having been spent waking up in the dead center of the bed. Terrible choice of words considering for the past 692 days, Braxton has been beside me in a box. Where is “my” positivity, Lady Lunalesca? The only boxes there should be are the ones under the tree. That is if I had bought a tree. The car sounds that way, creaking like I’m carrying goodies galore. Or car sex, whatever, ha-ha. Lady Lu, I should be grateful I kept my word Friday. There are gifts for the boys and breakfast. Well, minus hash browns. But pancakes, sausage, and bacon. And didn’t I say I’m not going out again… on Christmas Eve.

If Virgil knew the “man,” I was on December 2020. I could go back and look… Ok, so that was a mistake eww. But what has changed, Lu? I looked up Angie Griffin, “Cindy Who.” This evening I’ll continue reading “XL Candy Cane.” I was getting to the good part where the “princess” was about to suck on the candy cane.” Lunalesca it’s inevitable. Today ain’t the time. But again, Gospel 176 ~ Will’s Christmas List IV.~ Didn’t mention B. Anyway, as I was saying, I’ll read and then I have to find something other than breakfast food. Braxton and I would watch the Official NORAD Tracks Santa. Memories Lunalesca. Hell! Tonight is the second night of the year. I wake up at 7AM. snickers

I haven’t been time traveling as usual because I don’t have to face Humiliations Galore. But after Christmas? Only Virgil believes that every day as the song goes, “Every Day Will Be Like a Holiday.” That’s one thing he shares with Braxton. Faith misplaced Lunalesca. Much like my Braxton’s. And as for my own, at the moment, there is none. Santa, Satan, Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll. “Give me something to believe in.” Is that you, Lu, and this? Chronicle 174 ~B Come Home For.” How I want to believe Lunalesca, as Virgil does. That may be his first gift to me, his first lesson. Yet, he’s still young. Two years but with me… They’ll be no Merry Christmas. But, To B Leave Virgil…

692 Days Without B III, Day 133 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 175 ~To B Merry Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I can’t say “merry” was the first thing I looked up. But the words Merry Christmas will be everywhere. I know I ain’t leaving the house come, Christmas Eve. Virgil’s first Christmas here, Second without B III. But, two gifts to buy. To B Merry Virgil

Friday, December 23, 2022

Saga 175 ~To B Merry Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’d be happy. Only every Billionaire I know is raging against the world. Ah, Misanthropy…

Which is something I’m getting a hefty dose of today. Because I’ll be damned if I leave the house on Christmas Eve. And as I told B yesterday, I left on Christmas for Chinese food. How I hate people. No, No, I’m not being racist. I mean every damn body, as I did my accounts the other day. And what about my son and the other fur baby living here? Are Braxton and Virgil getting gifts? A second Christmas without B. And V’s first real gift. That’s about as merry as I’m going to get. Speaking of which, I don’t know any Marys… well, outside of faith. But what about Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry? The goodness of my heart, to just being horny…

Despite thoughts of hedonism, I can’t go broke in pursuit of this. Again, while I was working on the books the other day. Because the fuck I’m going to write anything. I was trying to figure out how I could get them all gifts. Sophia, I can’t forget Ma. Two presents. But allow me to be a selfish prick and ask, what about me? I have nothing but respect for libraries and would like to visit them. But I’m glad I don’t have to check out Christmas Erotica. I finished the 52-book challenge I put on myself; thank you, Bill Gates. But when you’re reading a book called “XL Candy Cane.” I swear my tortuous methods. Call it Masochism? Sophia, it’s like the song, I’m just a “Sucker for Pain.”

Though I fancy myself more one for Sadism. Which is why there are no people here. Who me? That is the least I can ask for this Christmas. M Anime considers me a man. But I won’t be unwrapping her under the Christmas tree. Fuck! Braxton’s ashes to ashes boxed. I know I’m not merry today and haven’t been for how many years? Especially Braxton. And what about Virgil? When this year ends, I should start reading about doggie behavior. Or how about the maid I tried to bed, that I cooked for. I keep saying I need cookbooks. Only as you can see, misanthropy, hedonism, and Sadism. How about a menu for good Chinese food? My grocery list? Affording anything? To B Merry Virgil

691 Days Without B III, Day 132 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 174 ~They’ll B Presents, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ll have to head to the grocery store because my favorite Chinese place closed down, and it was the only place open on Christmas. But still, B and I would have a pancake breakfast. And he got a present though he’s gone. They’ll B Presents, Virgil

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Saga 174 ~They’ll B Presents, Virgil~

690 Days Without B III, Day 131 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Yesterday I had to apologize to Virgil for asking you. As for my days, Braxton…

Well, I hate to lie? I didn’t lie to you “In The End,” which is why you ain’t here, Braxton. You never asked for a gift, but if I could get you anything… I’d never mention you leaving me ever again? Like I said, B, I don’t like to lie. Another reason masturbation sucks TMI. It leaves my mind way too clear when I’m not thinking about brunette bazongas. Bucks! All I want for Christmas, Braxton, besides my best friend back. You didn’t show up for the last one, B III. Do I need to cry now? Well, the answer is yes. “Love And Happiness?” No, that would be me being selfish? But Virgil could use some comfort and joy, a dog toy? Uh, money…

And you don’t know how hard it is not to look. A distraction to not talk to you today, B. I’m trying to figure out how many fries I can buy with the slave wage from the Day Job this week. You would figure as long as we’re together, Braxton. But fast food doesn’t hurt? That’s what I was talking to Inspector E about yesterday. Being present and, um, present. Virgil is upstairs because I couldn’t stand being in bed a moment longer… That’s funny. Anyway, I need to go to the store and get laundry detergent. Oh yeah, sustenance… Breakfast is one of our Christmas traditions, isn’t it B? Did I do it last year? This is the second Christmas without you, my friend.

Hell! I even bought you a present last year; I know that. One more thing to add to the list. I’d tell you how much money I had to spend but if M Anime keeps up with our chats… Yeah, I know you had your heart set on your Aunt Carolina. I ask that you go and check up on her and say hi to the fur babies she has also lost. Don’t give her man any static, please. I’m sure there’s plenty of room on her bazongas. I promise not to purchase bazongas. How many promises have I broken this week? Have you kept Virgil Vivi company, B? Pancake? Yes, there will be pancakes or maybe waffles on Christmas? Gifts? They’ll B Presents, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 173 ~ Braxton’s Orders, Virgil’s Order~

WillLeave a comment

Your wish is my command… especially when pretty girls and my son are involved. But these people giving me orders nowadays. Or the stuff I’m ordering from Amazon. And I’ve taken a look around this place lately. “Braxton’s Orders, Virgil’s Order.”

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

Saga 173 ~ Braxton’s Orders, Virgil’s Order~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And nobody orders billionaires to save the world. No! Rely on the charity of the poor.

Well, aren’t I in the Christmas spirit? There’s only one “spirit” I’m concerned with, as always. And that’s my son’s. Braxton shows up at the weirdest times and places, Echo. Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie? And neither is Terminator 2: Judgment Day. But Inspector, here we are, with me thinking of one line in particular. From John to machine. “I order you not to go. I order you not to go! I ORDER YOU NOT TO GO!” These words. I never spoke them to Braxton but unlike anyone in my existence. My Braxton understood. He would have fought forever and a day if I hadn’t done what I did. That’s love Echo, I know. All the rules I made for him but to obey…

A man chooses, a slave obeys, as Andrew Ryan said. What did that make Braxton? To this day, he is the best “man” I have ever known. And now I look at Virgil Vivi, Inspector. Again, I can’t say I’ve done any training with V. And does he listen to me at all? He stops when I tell him to… for the most part. What does he know about the world, Echo? He was a year and nine months when I met him. Braxton didn’t have any fears. But Virgil, my… no. He’s not my second-born. Hell! It was only this afternoon Inspector. Yes, I forgot his name. Yes, I suffered “Humiliations Galore” and the Day Job. And I fucked up my streak, Leana Lovings.

Yeah, the only time I give any orders or feel any order in this existence is in the bedroom Echo. But it just goes to show hard today has been. Inspector, I always imagine worse. Which, of course, leads me back to my son and the other one living here now. I didn’t even bother to order nacho fries for him. Too concerned with my belly and pleasures always. “‘Order is heaven’s first law.” And even now, with the holiday season, do you see this place as Heaven? I can’t order myself to be happy. And if only B were here. I could be better? Inspector, is that what Braxton was saying, don’t go with him. Die. This Christmas… give orders. Braxton’s Orders, Virgil’s Order

689 Days Without B III, Day 130 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 172 ~B Present For Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I only remember my Ma putting up the Christmas tree. And as far as presents, well, good and bad memories. But the love? That shouldn’t be a one-day thing, but Virgil’s been here for 129 days. As the song goes, “do you love me?” “B Present For Virgil”

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Saga 172 ~B Present For Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But even with more money than Jesus… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus” ha-ha. Um…

With all this money, that’s not what Christmas is about, is it? Am I really going to talk about Christmas? One day out of the year, when I seek joy, peace, and love daily. Hell! When did I know I loved my son? Our two-legged children, but let me talk about my firstborn, Braxton Barks Bradford. This is my second Christmas without him here. Love, if there is any consolation, Christmas is only one more day. Now don’t talk to me on January 31, but Christmas? B’s an afterthought at best. And then ask me about Virgil Vivi. Have I even thought about getting him a gift for the holidays? The money spent on 2V? He wants a present? Today he did have my concern.

Always. It’s what I give all my friends. My attention doesn’t amount to anything. Only I want to do better. Still, I am my “father’s” son. Money, Money, Money. And as the song goes, “money can’t buy me love.” What else do I have, though? It’s been my problem. I care for so much, my love. I guess that’s a good sign, right? It ain’t Christmas, but I care. Yet I have my friends that I haven’t asked about in forever. Or my ass has an ulterior motive even though my heart is in the right place… Oh, it’s outside B III’s pine box? That was mean, but again, my problem. I’m present in that room watching Braxton die. Santa Claus ain’t bringing him back.

But that’s who I am now, on top of being a husband, daddy, writer, business owner, and everything. And I must be under that tree, light those candles, or whatever else. The holidays, bah humbug. I don’t want the kids to hear me say that. And all the things I should utter… Because money ain’t cutting it. I can tell you and the children I love you every day, and I mean it. Why doesn’t it seem to be enough, though? A lesson learned from my Braxton. Several, in fact. He didn’t need words; it was the action always. It’s Only Love. So I ran outside looking for Virgil, and there was fear until I found him running to me. One day, for you, family, business; B Present For Virgil.

688 Days Without B III, Day 129 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will