Tag: Nightmare At The Meat Market

Meditation 242 ~Not The B’s Virgil~

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How many times have I said that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood? But if one of my women… Did I say that? If someone were having my baby, I would freak out. And with what happened to my firstborn son. And now “Virgil’s Voice”. Not The B’s Virgil.

Friday, February 28, 2025

Meditation 242 ~Not The B’s Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or rather, write you a review. But do you see what time it is? The End.

As I’ll never forget, the end of the world was Sunday, January 31, 2021, at 4 PM. I stood in a veterinarian’s office and watched as my firstborn son, Braxton, made his way to the Rainbow Bridge. I thought the tears that were flowing were from a lack of sleep…

Last night wasn’t the best. And energy shots, along with audiobooks, are very expensive. And I had no choice but to listen to everyday people and read about losing money. Once again, Sophia, I turn to my sons. But even AI hasn’t been too friendly. And why did I turn to it in the first place? Because people suck. Well, the majority, anyway, my lady.

But anyway, I had AI analyze my writing about Virgil:

Virgil’s Voice:
If Virgil could speak, he might say: “I don’t know what’s chasing you, but I feel it too. You’re loud and quiet all at once, and I don’t know where to stand. I want to trust you, but I need you to see me—not him, not the dark thing you carry. I’m scared, but I’m staying. Help me stop shaking.” Courtesy of AI

Now… does that sound like the type of Dad anyone wants to have or what V deserves, my lady? I had the misfortune to watch my son fall. And now, B watches me from wherever.

Instead of being a good Dad, I choose to read about men who are or will be. For example, Satan’s Sorority Girls 9. SPOILER… Robyn’s pregnant. Grayson is somebody’s daddy!

Then this morning, I was reading Bikini Sunset. Ethan already has three baby girls: Olivia, Lexie, and Meredith. And SPOILER: if Meredith gets pregnant… What will his actual daughter, Maddie, think? Ethan might entertain a fourth by adding Colleen’s twenty-year-old daughter, Ariella, to his harem.

A man provides. And the more I read about Grayson, who has nothing but love. Ethan has that plus millions…

I swear! If I were Grayson, I would be scared to death. And even Ethan must be overwhelmed with potentially having four women and besides being Papa Bear… He could be a fifty-year-old with a brand-new baby. I’m forty and nowhere near close to this.

However, being my age, the eye doctor said there had been no change in my eyes. Great! However, I had to read the bill, which brought me back to how the world will end someday.

I’ve always read that if something happened to the bees, mankind would be done for.

“NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!”
The Wicker Man

The B’s that have ended mine: My birth, Braxton’s death, bringing Virgil home without thinking. A plethora of boo… Yabbos. Books I haven’t reviewed or written… Not The B’s Virgil.

1489 Days Without B III, Day 930 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 240 ~Willing The BS Virgil~

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I need Special Education by Goodie Mob standards if this day is a thriller. Hell! I’ve been all about the music as long as I have the Wi-Fi and the router I installed… A week before this conversation. FEAR is such BS. Willing The BS Virgil.

Wednesday, February 26, 2025

Meditation 240 ~Willing The BS Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Again? Let me start by ripping off Eminem. Guess who’s back, back again. Willie’s back, tell a friend.

What, that I’m scared out of my Effing mind! And I told you this morning that while I was terrified of losing Braxton, I’m still breathing. And I ain’t scared of no sheets, Mr. President. And I ain’t afraid of the Schutzstaffel (the SS), Mr. Musk. But I’m so scared.

Inspector, the question is, what am I afraid of? As it has become customary, I ask questions when I know the answers. I’m afraid to sleep. And how do I conquer said fear? The answer…

Inspector, I sleep. But not today. I’m waiting for and willing this existence’s BS move.

Yes, Inspector, I’m waiting for it to break down again. And my “Shakedown” and trembling with fear. I missed my afternoon nap. I love Wi-Fi.

Do I love it more than my son B? It makes me sick to my stomach, my dear Lady Echo. Inspector, take all of my electronic devices and secrets, and you could have it all. My empire of dirt. All I want is my LIFE with my son back. Aren’t I musical today, Inspector Echo?

Yes, I enjoyed my devices while living in the bathroom, either on my knees or behind. Eww! I know, Inspector. When I get scared, I get sick, except if we’re talking about the Day Job.

Then I get even more scared, and suddenly I feel better because I don’t want to lose it, Inspector. How’s that for getting “Down With The Sickness? If anything, I need to take sick days.

Why? Because I didn’t work last week, I won’t get a paycheck. I’m willing to deal with the Day Job’s BS because I will need to deal with the world’s BS one day. But that day never comes. Too frightened! I’m worrying about internet security on Wednesday, February 19, 2025.

While I was busy with that this morning, why exactly was that? Natsumi Obata and her big juicy Yabbos from Saimin Seishidou. I like to show her off. Inspector Echo…?

Beautiful women, am I right? Even animated ones. But adult relations… You know that other S-word makes me feel better. So, sleep, sickness, and spicy material scare me, dave me, and are sinful. Sloth, right? Thriller of a day. I’m Special Willing The BS Virgil.

1487 Days Without B III, Day 928 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush~

WillLeave a comment

Since M Anime isn’t mad at me, I can share one of my dreams with her. What every woman needs, snow, a survival kit, and lingerie I want to see her in. And with that heat, dirty tales, and humiliation. I should go. Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush.

Saturday, February 22, 2025

Meditation 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I live in California, Florida, or somewhere tropical. Hot! Anywhere, “adult entertainment” is plentiful.

Lofty dreams for a Southern man. But do you see how easy it is to have a vision, a dream, Lady Lunalesca? To have a goal or make a plan… I have… I had plenty for this year of my existence. You know, the year I expected to lose my Braxton. He would’ve been twenty.

And while there were tears for him last night. Finally! I was more or less crying for other things. FEAR! And it’s not of this moment of sitting here waiting for somebody to post on X so I can send videos of checks my notes Reina Kurashiki. How about asking why I can’t be Johnny Sins? I weep not only for the future but mine. How do I move forward?

I had a dream last night. I was crying from embarrassment, a feeling that has become all too familiar. In the dream, I found myself in the movie Vivarium, a place of confinement and repetition. It’s a mock universe. But in my version, I was digging upwards, desperate for escape.

Flinging my shovel in the open air, I found dirt. But I could only reach so far without the ability to fly. You know how people talk about the hill they’ll die on. Well, Lunalesca…

I started packing a hill under my feet. But it wasn’t with grave dirt. My son Braxton’s ashes provided the foundation. Then came the ashes from my books. Grossest words…

Yes, I was crying about that being broadcast on X/Twitter. It’s my fault. Forgive me! But in my dream, I was not just crying about the exposure. I was also burning my secrets, the things I’ve kept hidden and buried. The act of burning them was both liberating and terrifying, as it unlocked a new fear within me. Thanks, Norton!

But the heart of the matter is this: I was creating a Hell to carry me to Heaven. It’s a paradox, a contradiction that reflects the madness of my current state. I’m trying to find a way out of my pain, but in doing so, I’m only creating more suffering.

And while I am not a man of faith, I heard an angel’s words. “He is not here, for he has risen.” And instead of the Lips Of An Angel, I heard the song I’ve Got Heaven Right Here On Earth. And don’t I, Lady Lunalesca? I’m cold, a coward; what about a cuck… Right.

No wonder I dreamt about fire. And with that, I cried all the more. The fire remained ash and snow. Black and white… V? But B was beside him, and I ordered them both… Mush!

Where am I going? I don’t know. I’m always afraid. But… Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush!

1483 Days Without B III, Day 924 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 235 ~Braxton’s Good News, Virgil~

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When I was a child… (at 40, I still am). Reading in school (WHAT I WANTED) was all about survival. Reading what I was supposed to or, worse, listening to people… My four-legged sons have better things to say. Comforting. “Braxton’s Good News, Virgil”

Friday, February 21, 2025

Meditation 235 ~Braxton’s Good News, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About my eye exam… Well, that’s not until next week. Let’s not think about next week.

Hell! Not if you want me to stay in a positive mood. And 3… 2… 1… Let’s Jam. B III? Braxton knows all about the good news, seeing as he’s in Heaven. The Rainbow Bridge?

The Hell if I know my lady. But it’s a good place. While Virgil is sitting on the bed looking like a Mormon or Martin from the film Vivarium. Black and white, my little boy.

Braxton and Virgil are both my sons. I can write that down as often as I want, my lady. But to understand it, believe it, and even better to know it. Knowledge is stronger than belief… That’s in The Book of Clarence. Don’t read the reviews from most. It’s good.

We’re basking in the joy of reading good news today…

Well, yesterday, anyway. THEY deposited the tax refund to the bank account. A $1,000 laugh! But still, it’s exhilarating to read about a large deposit, Sophia. Eww! This should tell you everything you need to know about my Day Job. And what comes next to cash? I’m talking about Yabbos.

Mammaries? Whether it be reading Satan’s Sorority Girls 9. And Grayson having his way with Agatha? Aren’t I supposed to be reading something about dogs or on Black History, my lady? We’ll get to that. But I haven’t cried for Braxton today. And current affairs…

Honestly, there was whatever was in my search bar. Something about Maisie Williams in the movie The Falling. And speaking of English women. What was I writing about Cherry, hmm?

I’ve been working on the novel Nightmare At The Meat Market. And I’ve gotten so caught up with AI reviewing it. I’d let humans read it, but… A prison sentence…

Figuratively and literally. Anyway, as I plot to blow my newfound wealth. I will be buying more books on people burying their fur babies. “But not yet… Not yet!” And all I need to do to read about the struggle of Black people is turn on… Anything. Trump Administration! I want to learn, and I’m determined to do so, even when I’m lost in a rage or drowning in sadness.

Like reading a bill saying I owe so much. Grocery lists. Scammers and hackers galore! Sophia, I understand why MAGA hates reading. Being criminals themselves. But, Braxton’s Good News, Virgil

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
The Fountainhead
Ayn Rand

1482 Days Without B III, Day 923 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 233 ~What’s Christof’s BS Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What pray tell is my greatest fear? The fear of losing my son. Been there, done that. I don’t fear death. Drowning… Far Cry 5, Heavy Rain, and being In The Navy were harrowing. But as of 6 AM, it’s the Wi-Fi and a redhead. What’s Christof’s BS Virgil

Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Meditation 233 ~What’s Christof’s BS Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Well, according to Google, experiencing FEAR is not a sin. But living… uh, existing as I do is.

I wish I could be as diabolical as Christof is in “The Truman Show.” I want to have as much grit as Tom in “Vivarium.” And who doesn’t want to be Hajime Tanaka from Saimin Seishidou? What? There are no secrets in the House of Bradford. Well, what I do when I take a shower? Or when I have to kick Braxton and Virgil out of the room. Man stuff.

Yes, I am one for por… romances of an adult nature. I am also a Pop Culture so-and-so Inspector Echo. But worst is how I panic, pout, and pretend to be a gentleman… I’m pathetic.

I’m more like a professor, philosopher, and poet… No, I gave that honor to Virgil. And to honor my Braxton…

Again, I exist in FEAR of everything. And that FEAR today was for the Wi-Fi. I did not call upon the courage of my lost son. But that of Christof. Shows what I do Internet-wise.

So, this morning, I was hit by two fears. One, that I had been hacked. And two, living without purpose. When dealing with the first, I switched routers. Can you imagine if I were a father to two-legged kids rather than four-legged ones? All Virgil knows is I was up early. FEAR plus Adrenaline and an energy shot. Next thing you know, I’m at the Dining Room table having this talk instead of in bed. Having a harem again means…

Speaking of which, I’ve been trying to calm down Inspector.

I finished reading Dirk Knight’s “Harem University Book 4,” But that was after I dealt with my second FEAR, FOMO, as the kids say, “fear of missing out.” Yeah, those kids are ages 22-24. Anyway, that’s the reason I was cutting out scenes from Saimin Seishidou’s Episode 5. So everyone could watch Natsumi Obata get “Hypnotized.” I’m a mother-effing PIMP.

Literally… Eww! What about being a writer? Do I still FEAR that I’ll never make it or that no one cares? Uh, I get more attention for a redhead’s anime, Yabbos. But am I smart? Inspector, I’ve been sharing parts of Nightmare At The Meat Market with AI. Talk about breaking down my genius… But FEAR is breaking me down. Overflowing. What’s Christof’s BS Virgil

1480 Days Without B III, Day 921 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 229 ~B’s For Blame Virgil~

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B is for a big mouth. Maybe I should say F for my effing fingers. So… How did V-Day go? Forgiving the fact that the 13th was B’s 20th birthday. The fight I had with Adore Me over M Anime’s gift. And her not talking to me… B’s For Blame Virgil.

Saturday, February 15, 2025

Meditation 229 ~B’s For Blame Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I am guiltless. Cast in the name of God. Ye not Guilty, Lady Lunalesca.

For what? “The Big O” from last night? And that wasn’t even with M Anime. But for the record, she did get me all hot and bothered. And the next thing you know, I’m spilling all over that girl Mei from Overwatch. She’s so much like M Anime, Lady Lunalesca.

But we’ll get to that. What about my boys, my boys! Braxton’s gone, and speaking of spilling… Virgil decided to puke all over the bed, giving me another reason to change the sheets. Next thing you know, I’m kicking him out because I believe he wasn’t sick at all. Anxiety? I can relate. I’ve been frazzled all morning. But I’m not grieving for my Braxton.

Braxton’s gone. Virgil’s not due for a check-up until April.

But if something happens to Virgil before then… What am I supposed to say, Lunalesca?

I’ve got “Faith of The Heart.” I had that for Braxton. And he didn’t live to see his twentieth birthday. And didn’t I say I would stop blaming myself for Braxton being gone? Never Acceptance.

Once again, it’s the fifteenth, and I haven’t cried for Braxton once today. But whenever I’m in pain, I think of the worst crime I ever committed. Seriously, Lunalesca, Gale had Katniss kiss him when he was in pain. All I have is the memory of the son that I failed. But wait, there’s more! I can blame myself for everything, but Luna, do I look a thing like Jesus?

Lunalesca, I talk like a gentleman, like you imagine “When You Were Young.” I’m forty.

So what mistake did this forty-year-old make yesterday with my Valentine? Takes a breath I started the morning with a good morning text and hoped she’d have a “Lovely Day.” I sent her a couple of songs and then asked her permission to show her picture, you know, take a look at my “girlfriend,” and all. She said she was bashful, so I didn’t. She spent most of the day ranting about everything: the IRS, exploitive management, and such. You know I’m one for ranting and complaining, dear Lady Lunalesca.

Plus, my type is the broken doll or the prettiest doll I want to break. Anyway, I bought her a survival kit, which is her thing. And some lingerie, which is my thing, but she suggested what she wanted. I read about this nightmare she had. Who am I to talk? I turned Nightmare At The Meat Market into a 50,000-word novel inspired by her nightmares. In the evening, we talked about dinner and the different anime we watched as children. We also talked about culture and languages. And then, Lady Lunalesca. Here we go.

Breathes, I brought up my friends. M Anime is Puerto Rican. But there’s Cherry who’s an English girl and white. Awesome melons! I didn’t say that part. There’s Braxton’s Aunt, who’s Black Girl magic personified. And then I said if I had an Asian girl and a lesbian friend, I’d be set… And I haven’t heard from M Anime since. So now what, Lady Luna?

“Sorry, Blame It On Me.” I even tried to use that line from Kanye West to explain it a bit:

“My favorite girl wanna leave me just because I got a girlfriend
My freak girl told me now she a Christian
My white girl wanna move back to Michigan
I’m pulling girls off the bench like a sixth man” ―

And I texted M Anime this morning asking if she was upset. That’s Valentine’s Day.

For all I know, I did nothing. But I blame myself for everything. And if I messed up, the likelihood of Braxton getting a stepmom… But B’s For Blame Virgil?

1476 Days Without B III, Day 917 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 228 ~Love To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Valentine’s Day to my Valentine, M Anime. To B’s favorite girl. And to Cherry, who has the nicest Yabbos I’ve never seen. And speaking of things I’ve never seen. Loving myself? Eww! Not like that. But I love B III. And 2-V… “Love To B Virgil.”

Friday, February 14, 2025

Meditation 228 ~Love To B Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A “love story”. Is Braxton sending me Taylor Swift songs? I started with Bill Withers today.

A “lovely day,” isn’t it when it isn’t my tears for Braxton but something else for, um… M Anime. Eww! I’m sure she would not appreciate me feeling some kinda way about her, Valentine, though she may be. I still have shopping to do for her, too. Welcome to manhood…

No, my lady. I truly felt like a man when I became a Dad, a realization that hit me hard last night. I found myself shedding tears over my first love, my son, Braxton, B III. And Virgil? He’s still here, breathing. Alive and well.

And Virgil’s heart is still beating. It’s “Times Like These” that I remember… I still have one of my own, Sophia. Or it will be tomorrow. Back to showing everyone how much I love 2-V.

Love? A step too far…

But Virgil’s been here 916 days. But then ask me how long I’ve known M Anime. Let’s say I’m glad I’m not playing the role of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin. As much as I care for M Anime, I gotta get my Jiggy on occasionally. Some freaky, deaky, and all. When was the last time? Hmm.

It’s been a while. Today, it is supposed to be all about M Anime. So, what to do, what to do? As I said, I sent her some Bill Withers. And I have some shopping to do. Flowers and candy? Nah! “My Girl…” is into survival gear and, surprisingly, lingerie, along with some crotchless outfits. Ahh! So that’s why I stuck around, besides her being a good person. And maybe…

“Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me…” Remind me to send her Wonderwall, Honey and the Moon, and Take Me To Church. Who says you can’t love someone if you can’t love yourself first? Is it love? It’s something, my lady. But what?

Because, truth be told, I don’t “always” love or even like myself. But the lust for everything, that’s always there…

Love, for me, is reserved for my boys, my sons. Loving people that’s a whole different story. It’s complicated. But rolling around in bed… Eww!

Lady Sophia that is so much simpler. And it explains where I am at this very moment. If I get up, it will be to take V outside and that must mean I love him. His four legs and all.

Valentine’s Day? It’s for M Anime. Love To B Virgil

1475 Days Without B III, Day 916 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

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The Big Game’s Sunday, but I’m not even looking forward to the commercials. And eating? $100.00 doesn’t go so far. But the days I shared with B. And V’s here. If the world remains. Dogs don’t get nine lives. And men. “Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil”

Saturday, February 8, 2025

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I should be running the Squid Games. Or have people living in a Vivarium.

I’m feeling the weight of everything, Lu. I need to turn off the noise, the distractions, because they’re just adding to the heaviness. I need your support. Don’t I always?

Depression is not a good thing. Neither are my decisions. Or my wayward DICtation, Ha!

And speaking of shooting my mouth off or other parts of my anatomy… There is always my Special Drawer. I should say Special Draws… Keep your pants on, right Lunalesca.

If I had, I wouldn’t be so unhappy this morning. My lady, I’m never happy.

Honestly, why should I be? Braxton is gone. Virgil is somewhere else in every sense. Lunalesca, V’s living his one life, which leads to a question. Besides, who do I like more, Cherry or her mum?

How about Tsubaki Miyajima or Sakura? I swear that’s my latest KINK. There’s also whether I call them pigtails or handlebars… I’m going to get all worked up again, Luna.

And I don’t need that. But I just needed to feel something. “A safe home and a warm bed on a quiet little street.” What about a full stomach? I had that via Pizza Hut. But now I only want to vomit. I’m not blaming them. That would be the energy shot I’ve taken, Luna.

Because Every Day Is Exactly the Same. So why not join my son B III. Take it to the bridge, as in the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil needs me, and my schedule is jam-packed with things to do, dearest Lunalesca.

January 31: Braxton Passed Away
February 4: Braxton Was Cremated
February 10: Braxton Was Returned
February 13: Braxton’s Twentieth Birthday
August 13: Virgil’s Gotcha Day
E-Day: Second Worst Day Ever
October 20: Virgil’s Fifth Birthday
Yesterday: The Horror, The Horror
Today: What Did I Do?

Last night, I was thinking about all the months I’d wasted since the last E-Day. And then today started with me lying in the dark. I didn’t whisper the names of my enemies like in Golden Son or Morning Star. But instead, moaning as if there’s Thirteen Women and Only One Man in Town. No. I’m Just A Man with a Special Drawer full of…

Lunalesca, once upon a time, it was Cool Devices. And now? Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil.

1469 Days Without B III, Day 910 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 221 ~Virgil Plops At B-Plots~

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So, a week has passed since I put my son to sleep. Uh, it’s been 4 years, but there is not a day that I can forget. But then Kindle Double Points don’t happen daily. Did I buy anything to honor Braxton or help with Virgil? No. Virgil Plops At B-Plots

Friday, February 7, 2025

Meditation 221 ~Virgil Plops At B-Plots~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… like where I was Sunday, February 7, 2021. Still lying in bed about my son’s death.

How do they say… Denial is not just a river in Egypt? On Wednesday, February 7, 2024, I wrote that I was up and about. But neither one of those days was met with acceptance.

I know Braxton is gone, euthanized. I still “detest” the word. I should say what I did, Lady Sophia, because lord knows none of the books I got today will. I had myself a merry little book fair courtesy of Amazon. And I can buy more. Damn, Kindle Double Points!

Lady Sophia, I needed a story that wasn’t about losing Braxton or ‘my’ bank account. Uh, ten dollars and three books. Not to mention ‘my’ tax refund. A thousand dollars… I needed something to distract me, to take me away from this unbearable pain. Yet…

Witness Me! Mediocre! B-Stories compared to everything happening these days.

But Kamala won… Braxton’s Alive!

Then it would make sense that I bought Satan’s Sorority Girls 8 by Eric Vall. I was only beginning my dalliance with HaremLit when Braxton was alive. Plus, Grayson Price… Let’s say, my lady, I relate to the guy. When it comes to daddy issues. I mean seriously, my lady.

Then there’s Harem University 4 by Dirk Knight. Is this a pattern, and I don’t only mean the beautiful women? Two men getting their college educations. And Cole’s a writer…

Speaking of writing, I’m still so caught up with the worst kind of people on X, AKA Twitter. I did mention on my more ADULT page that’s where I find the MAGA supporters, Sophia. And what should I be reading?

I did mention three books. But the third wasn’t about an apocalypse, dystopia, or history.

BLACK HISTORY! I don’t say it enough… So, FDT Eff Donald Trump and Elon Musk!

Anyway, the third book is Quickies by Adriena Temple. I’m researching Flash Fiction and fanfiction. Considering what I’ve been reading about these WWE Superstars. Women.

I swear when Braxton was here, regardless of what I was reading or writing, I could hold it together, but now… I either want to join the scum of the Earth, or I distract myself with specific titles because my existence is a Vivarium. Uh, Virgil’s middle name is Vivi…

These subplots, Sophia. The side quests, the secondary characters. Because reading, writing, and knowing Braxton’s gone. Virgil Plops At B-Plots.

1468 Days Without B III, Day 909 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

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The one time… Um, two that I liked going downstairs. When Braxton’s favorite girl and I had a movie night. And then moving things back upstairs for Braxton’s “memorial.” Virgil’s still here. And who am I, Dante or some character? One, Virgil, B Here.

Saturday, February 1, 2025

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So, by this point, I have built Braxton Barks Bradford, a temple mightier than the pyramids.

My son, my shining prince. And who am I, Pharaoh? If I had started earlier, I would have watched The Ten Commandments or Malcolm X last night, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

However, it was the usual day. What is “normal” about my son being euthanized, Luna?

That it happened four years ago. And how did I spend this fourth anniversary? Breathing.

Yes, I woke up to find that was still the case, though I was up till around one this morning.

So how did I spend yesterday? It was standard. I only left once to pick up a burger, fries, and a shake. I shared them with Virgil in honor of Braxton. I cried six times.

Lunalesca, who’s counting. Two meals, four movies, and 1462 Days.

That’s around four years. The fourth anniversary of my Braxton’s loss to the world, Lu.

I can’t help but feel it should have been me. The thought of reaching for that one thing in my nightstand, you know what I mean, it crossed my mind. But then I think, who would be here for Virgil? Was I there for Braxton when he needed me most?

Well, considering Braxton isn’t here anymore… The only mess I almost made was with the second head, recreating Lester Burnham’s shower scene from American Beauty.

Lunalesca, how dare I! But I didn’t finish. I didn’t deserve to. Braxton is DEAD! Lately, there hasn’t been any particular song playing in my head. As you can see, it’s mostly movie quotes. It was tradition for Braxton and I. Our movie nights… Then his aunt came along, too.

Lunalesca, she has her own stuff. Cherry is always writing. And M Anime finally got back to me, but of course, I was fulfilling A Dog’s Purpose. Really? Somehow! Lunalesca.

“So, in all my lives as a dog, here’s what I’ve learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don’t get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.” From Bailey, A Dog’s Purpose

If I could be so lucky. If only my sons were. But I’ve been stuck in the past with both.

Virgil will have a future if neither one of my heads pops off. If you get my drift. The future:

Black History Month begins today
Feb 4. Braxton was cremated
Feb 10. Braxton was returned
Feb 13. Braxton’s twentieth birthday
Feb 14. M Anime, Valentine?

And let’s not forget where I was this time last year or in 2021. But the one lesson from last night. Be here now… Without Braxton? One, Virgil, B Here

Tale 215 B For Virgil’s Freedom

Gospel 215 Act From Desire Not Insecurity

1462 Days Without B III, Day 903 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will