Tag: Wake Up

Tale 043 ~Gotcha V, B’s Joking~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Gotcha Day… I wonder if V knows? And I’m sure a trip to the groomer was not in his plans today. I’m sure there are better ways to celebrate. Yeah, out of the frying pan and into the fire. It won’t be so bad. I’m not so bad. Gotcha V, B’s Joking

Sunday, August 13, 2023

Tale 043 ~Gotcha V, B’s Joking~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And then you wake up and see it was all a joke. Hate laughing, smiling, funny face.

For several reasons, but today is not about you… Or is it? First things first, today is Gotcha Day. One year ago, you chose to spend your life… well, his life spent with you. Archie. His name is Virgil Vivi Bradford now. He’s two years old, but again, one of those years was spent with you. If he could have made the choice… Life, um, existence can be one big joke sometimes. Often. And you don’t even have that Jim Kelly, AKA Williams, idea of defeat. “I’ll be too busy looking good.” No. You looked in the mirror this morning. Virgil, this is your… the hell if I know. But a year ago, you told yourself a joke, you know. “That’s Braxton!” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pawprints on the Heart: Healing From
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 016 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! Braxton should have made the list. Then, you would have three out of six. Yesterday, I got four out of four regarding pornographic passions. Right? God knows I wasn’t writing. I worried, so… Konbini Shoujo Z, Alison Angel, “Maxine ASMR Let Me Draw You…” Yesterday was a joke to existence. And it’s enough to make you laugh, as if you might change things. You know. Listen to Michael Jackson’s “Man In The Mirror.” Change? Joking yet again. And it doesn’t seem right. No, not today. Like ever being happy, picturing this time last year, well? Aren’t you glad I made Virgil Vivi a folder? Seeing a file that isn’t all about Yabbos occasionally is nice. Memories for Gotcha Day. A few. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (A book behind?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The last day you were a father… a daddy was Sunday, January 31, 2021, at approximately 3:46 PM. And on Saturday, August 13, 2022, you thought… “Braxton, I found him!” Reincarnation, 2:05 PM. You thought you were finding that “it’s not quite paradise. But it sure feels like home.” That’s how things were with Braxton. Existence is a bad joke. Braxton was how I handled the heckle —now, being here with Virgil. It’s not funny. Sunday again, don’t you laugh, smile, or make a funny face? It’s only one foot in front of the other. And then what? I’m sure I’ll be finding out with E-Day coming up. Or, M Anime kicking your butt. “It’s not so bad,” Braxton thought once. Gotcha V, B’s Joking

924 Days Without B III, Day 365 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 036 ~Virgil, B Holds Greatness~

WillLeave a comment

Either, something’s trying to get me. It’s time to escape. Or I’m “My Own Worst Enemy.” All the above. So why do I hold on? Virgil deserves a nice yard like Braxton had. Embarrassing, Humiliations Galore from the neighbors. Virgil, B Holds Greatness.

Sunday, August 6, 2023

Tale 036 ~Virgil, B Holds Greatness~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And showing off “that mean, oh mean, mean green. Almighty dollar” would be enough for me. You?

Honest to God, you’re trying hard to hold onto your sanity. The week before last, it was all V… This week, it has been all “Hold The Door” Hodor. The fence, the line, privacy. Hell! I couldn’t hold onto my son. But your Grief? We’ll get to that. We always do now you’re 917 Days in. And what else have you been doing with that time? Just waking up? This is one day that you wish you didn’t have to. If only you could hold onto the dark, ha. Didn’t I talk about the love of death at one point? Necromancy, Zombies, an Apocalypse? You know you could always become a Republican? But you want to hold onto morals, standards… Really! And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Healing After Pet Loss: Navigating Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, I’m pretty damn dedicated to holding these things forever, as you will be, too. Braxton ain’t going nowhere, that’s for sure. Okay, so that’s a lie. And worse? You gave it to him. That lie, dollars that did nothing but bring about his death and his Daddy going “The Distance.” Less Michael Bolton and more Cake. Bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse. Assail (you), impale (you) with monster truck force,” as the song goes. Now, there’s a thought. Maybe Braxton is trying to escape… So, the fence is failing. Perhaps he is trying to make a comeback. Or he wants to force you to move on from this place? He wouldn’t risk it knowing how you’re feeling right now. Dying with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pawprints on the Heart: Healing From
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Number six? One of the things that falls under that is to “Stay Alive.” It could sound better. Hmm? How about the want, need, and desire not only to exist? But to live right now? There is still so much left to learn. But again, Republican tendencies, none of it is any good. One more book on how to mourn your son. Or how not to mend fences at all. Being so in love with death leads to some messed up places… Somnophilia, other words… Eww! That’s a conversation for Inspector Echo. And what about your critics, censorship, more Cake? “In his mind, he’s still driving, still making the grade.” Nope! Behold, beautiful women, your Braxton, and this backyard fence Band-Aid. Virgil, B Holds Greatness

917 Days Without B III, Day 358 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 029 ~Virgil Will B Twenty-Four~

WillLeave a comment

One day left to exist… I’ve been there more times than I care to admit. Once, I downed some sleeping pills. I had Taco Bell with painkillers. Passed out before walking Braxton. Hugged him on January 31. Then Virgil got sick. Virgil Will B Twenty-Four

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Tale 029 ~Virgil Will B Twenty-Four~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But Thirty-eight beats never. Now’s not the time for joking. You are the worst joke of all?

You knew that was coming. Hell! I’ve been through enough. And you’re looking at the clock with bated breath. A spoiled, self-centered, selfish… God, you want to say more, ha. Once again, there’s no time for silliness or smiling. For the love of everything, smile? Please, don’t! But you can appreciate that you wouldn’t have had to clean anything in a few hours. And everything’s back to normal. Say his name: Virgil Vivi Bradford. Yeah! You had to delete Braxton’s middle name, which says much about your mental state. As the song goes, “If I Only Had A Brain.” You need a (growls) a heart. That’s my advice for you. With everything I did yesterday… Was it for love? It wasn’t those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge) LitRPG
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Use your head. That would be another piece of advice. A heart would be fantastic. Yesterday, I was using my head to track down veterinarians. How many did I call? Republican fallacy that. I was offering thoughts and prayers for Virgil. And it paid off… And besides the almost whole day, I spent trying to save Virgil. And you wake up to the memories of Braxton. Do you know what other names came? Uh, what’s under the Visual Lady’s shirt and Chasity Lynn? Tsk, tsk, right? I swear I treat “adult situations” like a zombie virus. Add to that selfishness and stupidity. All about the letter S. It’s so dumb. Which is why you want to sleep existence away. And not do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Healing After Pet Loss: Navigating Grief
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You have twenty-four hours. Isn’t that what the motivations would say? Ah! Good Times. You were up on time, and what did you do for, let’s say, an hour and a half? Uh-huh. Yeah. All last week, I was talking about time. Or was it this week? Whatever! It was about how I fear it. Then, last night, I looked in the mirror. My last piece of advice… Smiling. Repeating myself, I know, but don’t smile. It’s so gross (shudders). Worse than Virgil throwing up. What about seeing him through another twenty-four hours? Didn’t I say everything would be okay if I got to August? In October, Virgil will be twenty-one. A few months after? A new day. Suck it up. Virgil Will B Twenty-Four

910 Days Without B III, Day 351 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 022 ~B Waking Up Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Well, a cappuccino ain’t cuttin’ it. Nor a hundred likes on Instagram. And V isn’t waking me up if there isn’t a storm. So why wake up? To keep Braxton alive? And how did that turn out? No new audiobooks or “life” prospects. “B Waking Up Virgil”

Sunday, July 23, 2023

Tale 022 ~B Waking Up Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But sometimes. Yeah, the week’s just started; sometimes, when you wake up hot. Feels like you won.

Because you’re in Hell, so it must mean you’re dead. Ain’t that a cheery thought? Beginnings of a new week. But you woke up on time for something other than the Day Job. And then you… Well? You know what you want to say, but when you have critics? And so you wonder why you want to be read. It’s not like I helped Saturday. Honestly, you’re too “adult?” Yeah, go ahead and laugh. Brings a tear to your eye. Dammit the song “Sweet Cherry Pie.” Which is, of course, why you’ll get into trouble. Anyway, you’re too apathetic to “Life Itself.” The movie… and, of course, yours in general. Or should you say adversarial to yourself and everyone in this existence? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “GOLDEN ECLIPSE: HEART DOG,” Howard Schultheis
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Funny how things like being happy, human, how about hung? Do you remember what you said about being adult and apathetic? Geez! Such dark thoughts for this AM, uh huh. But it is Sunday. Oh, how you looked forward to the dead. Or at least the infected. You’re all into Necromancy, hmm. But Braxton ain’t coming back. Did you think today was the day you’d forget him? If you weren’t worthy of Hell before for betraying your little boy. Only then would you be waking up cold. You know, with the Ninth Circle of Hell and all. And you had an intriguing thought. Now you said you could never be a doctor, uh, you know. “We’re The Ones Who Live.” Hell! These, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge) LitRPG
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

They are going to… Censorship is driving you crazy. And didn’t you already say, dammit? Okay, now besides being so very STUPID and unhelpful… Hmm, maybe you could be a doctor in this new America. What you’re trying to say is this. You could have studied the dead. And back when I was into science, I could have learned about viruses, sicknesses, and plagues. Talk about having a life – an existence worth living, waking today? Truthfully, besides not wanting to at all. There’s nothing to look so see here. Existence. The day never officially began until Braxton stepped on my face. Virgil lies here waiting. Living with a corpse, a ghost, or a zombie is terrible. But I replaced the air filter. A day’s accomplishment. B Waking Up Virgil

903 Days Without B III, Day 344 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 002 ~How To B Comfortable~

WillLeave a comment

I have said that I have never been so comfortable, never slept so carelessly, and never known such courage as having Braxton watching over me. He would cuddle close at night, yet I wonder why without him, I’m so tired. How To B Comfortable.

Saturday, July 3, 2021

Chronicle 002 ~How To B Comfortable~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will anything be as comfortable as Braxton’s fur. Does the Rainbow Bridge have comfy spots?

No matter how much sleep I get these days, I wake up tired. Do I blame the Day Job? I won’t go all Idiocracy. “I like money.” Only money makes us all comfortable, THEY say. It would be something if Braxton was still here. He had three beds of his own, and nine out of ten, he chose mine. Is that why I’m finding it almost impossible to leave myself? The couch isn’t doing me any favors either whenever I can reach it. As soon as I get up, I’ve told myself that I’m going to make the bed, surprising what a bladder can accomplish. B III and his walks. I would have been awake way before now, and I am wide awake; dubious reasons.

Let’s just say I broke one of my promises when it comes to Six Impossible Things. Dammit, those things are comfortable, which is why I’ve repeated publishing GULP two years. Always and forever, it seems like, but that only works if you’re talking about grief. I continue to count up the days. It’s been 153 days, and I didn’t even care to check my mail. We found a dog that matches you. At this rate, whoever they are is gone, but I’m not comfortable with the distinction of “murderer.” The only person saying that is me, and the truth hurts. It’s like sleeping on stones, sort of like a prisoner. After a time, you forget comfy beds, and the stone is all that you know.

Of course, my bed has not been the same since B III departed. I can change the sheets, which I’m still mad about. I can get another mattress, my sister’s old one, ain’t I pathetic. I can continue to drape myself in hoodies so I can survive the Day Job. Did I ever tell you it’s like Linus and his blanket? It’s summertime, and I’m freezing again, always and forever. I swear, I should have gotten Triple B, Emotional Support status because I was never braver than when it came to him. By making Braxton comfortable, I made myself too. You’re thinking, but why didn’t I buy him those doggie steps. Why aren’t I eating so well? Braxton, Babes, Bucks, knowing How To B Comfortable.

153 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 360 ~B Over The Threshold~

WillLeave a comment

I’d have carried Braxton always and forever. B walked into this house on his own four paws, and some six years later, I had to carry him out. How am I to imagine carrying a woman over or another fur baby. How dare I come “home?” B Over The Threshold

Saturday, June 26, 2021

Gospel 360 ~B Over The Threshold~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that kind of cash is heavy. So is my grief, my “GOD,” and any goodness.

Of the Five Stages of Grief, Bargaining was the shortest. I’m not sure how it was supposed to go. I’m sure that if I got a better water filter for Braxton or if I hadn’t changed his food sometime in 2020. I’m sure there’s a bit I’m missing from B III’s January 8, 2021 check-up. Depression, like Denial, is endless. Yet I haven’t lain a treat in his room this morning, and B’s med time passed at 8:00. I will do it as soon as I leave the room. Of course, my tears haven’t stopped, and we’re on 146 Days. Will I ever stop counting the days? I hope not. Lady Luna, I will not accept this ever; I keep saying that. I MEAN IT!

I continue to be the lone prophet of my son, and I don’t know if he’s gotten heavier or I’m split between so many things. It’s a bit of both, I believe. Braxton was never heavy in my arms. Now he’s always on my mind; I’m still picking up the pieces. Sunrise is my Braxton. Now I have to do it myself. Being a father, a buddy, a brother, a protector, and so many things. Hell, fatherhood is one big umbrella holding a great many things. All of them working towards the same love, but now the rain is coming down, and where were you? I’m asking myself that Lady Lu. It’s like I’m all over the place, and the storm isn’t ending for me.

Braxton is first and foremost in my life. Despite everything else, let my guilt be always and forever. I will take it if it keeps my boy with me. And being HAPPY… hate that word. Then there’s “Stuff And Thangs.” Um, talk about living a double life, but I haven’t quit yet. It’s not like people would notice, and ever since I broke after 161 Days, Lu. B was alive. I’m not a good man like Gabriel from The Fallen series. He abstains for his brothers who are finding love, two or three of them anyway. Again I won’t get past this ever, Lady Lu. How dare some girl or another fur baby come into this place, I shared with B. B Over The Threshold.

146 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 353 ~No B In Emancipation~

WillLeave a comment

Emancipation, Acceptance, Survivor are big words, yet we wonder why we rather say “I” despite who it hurts. THEY say I set him free and if I had to do it again… To be a better friend, father, forgo my freedom, for there’s “No B In Emancipation.”

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Gospel 353 ~No B In Emancipation~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so there are some “I’s” when it comes to whatever I’m doing. Here come the tears

Not for Juneteenth. I’m pleased with the holiday, which was celebrated Friday, being a federal holiday and all. This weekend too. I’m a man of my word ha-ha about some plans for today. Of course, that’s why I woke up late, 7:00 AM. What a way to start the day, don’t you agree? So you want me to explain the crying AHEM, Tradition! Braxton got his walking papers, was emancipated, got his shots, and now here I am. Today I go in for the COVID Vaccine, a first dose. Yeah, B III got his back to back as I sat there, my eyes wide open, Lu. My Arms Wide Open but we’ll get to that. Should we talk about how offensive I’m being right now?

I’m not trying to, but I’m learning freedom can be. What’s so offensive in Acceptance? Such a belief that Braxton would always be here for me. Comparing Life with Death. Believing in such things as the greater good, the bigger picture. Hell, just sitting here. Wasn’t it, last week, I told myself that I better not waste the entire week I was off and free? What are you going to do with freedom? I tell you, Lady Lu, not a damn thing to save me. At least if B was here, I could say as the song goes, “You Were Loved.” I set him free. Didn’t I, like it was any given Sunday, but it’s Saturday, yeah. If you love someone, set them free, right?

Yes, I must remind you and me that I’m not suicidal… currently taking this vaccine. Yet I’m reminded of The Cure by Sonia Levitin. Braxton and I being “Recycled” together. I would have taken that deal. How about making this choice last night to survive? Remember, Six: The Mark Unleashed “I still remember the last free choice I ever made. It was the wrong choice.” I am a free man, a black man, an American. But I serve, we do. With it all, B III wanted to stay until his last breath. I think of his eyes; sigh. “Why Daddy?” Braxton’s freedom from the suffering, the sickness, the sinner that I remain after 139 Days. Slaves waited years for liberty. Mine… No B In Emancipation

139 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 346 ~Be Something B Cause~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve said this before, how my Ma would say, I would find my way. My aunt would say I wanted to destroy the world. She was wrong “in a way,” I only ended my world, which is why Braxton ain’t here. Be Something B Cause it’s getting hard to breathe

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Gospel 346 ~Be Something B Cause~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I were Eric Thomas, I’d be a millionaire. I know what’s what. I’m here.

It’s 4:30 in the morning, and Eric Thomas wakes up at 3:00. Hell Lady Lu, I’ve woken up at 2:00 for far less money and for what. We both know the answer to that. At the same time, I have stayed up until 4:00 in the morning. So like a Backstreet Boy, tell me why. 132 days, and like the moon, which is your namesake, B III’s smell has yet to disappear. At the moment, he is lending me his strength, giving me focus, purpose, cause. I have a dream, and now it’s time to put that vision into action. Perhaps this is merely insanity. Haven’t I mentioned Eric Thomas, The Backstreet Boys, and MLK in the span of a few minutes? It’s too early.

Which is what I told myself when Braxton lay dying. I’m not ready yet, but I’m a fighter, a friend, a father. Any of that sounds better than a Freight Associate; excuse me, I’m more Operational now. But, of course, that would be fine if I was building Death Stars. First off, and I believe I’ve told you or one of the girls before, my aunt was wrong. Destroying worlds is not something I agree with. Yet, I would take that in comparison to what I do for a “living.” Only this week, I’ve squandered extensively so many days, yep. To think I would use Braxton as an excuse, but he was also a reason. Now he is but a memory driving these words forward.

I found myself in the store yesterday questioning what’s it all for. I stood in the same spot I once had on January 31, picking out a digital frame for his pictures. Yes, tears Lady Luna. Ironic I don’t want him to see me now as I picked out a tripod to hold my phone for “Stuff And Thangs.” I still haven’t quit that foolishness… what about my vow and everything? I can’t keep saying tomorrow; how about July when I write my book about him. With all the letters I have ready to go, and it could always be my laziness in the end. Last year I had a few months to think, not do. Braxton, give me strength to Be Something B Cause.

132 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 200 ~Wills Lost And Found~

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t know I was looking for that, and I’m sure I’m forgetting something else. Yeah, probably something to the tune of being a good writer, father, or person in general. What is it I want again? “Wills Lost And Found”

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Gospel 200 ~Wills Lost And Found~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you have time. Do you really think that? Well, it is 6:00 AM, and you woke up at 4:00 AM and “fooled” around for 40 minutes. It didn’t involve um… never mind. Trying to find the time and losing your mind.

Interestingly enough, a dream of trying to cook pizza rolls and living in a house full of dogs. Not exactly visions of Space Junk, but you would be better served to keep your feet on the Earth this week. Always, plenty to be afraid of, lose fear, find courage, sigh.

With the coming war… a little dramatic but alright. I’ve found myself looking back on some black history. Some time ago, I watched 2003’s Deacons for Defense. Do you know why men wear hoods? Because they got no courage. Keep in mind your plethora of masks. There’s 2001’s Boycott. It’s the criminal who hides. I ain’t no criminal. I ain’t scared of nobody’s jail. Yeah, I was looking upon these black icons to lend you courage. Hell, you know I feel anything but these days. Of course, you know why that is, take a look. However, it ain’t Thursday, so keep it in your pants. Such desires make you ever so much braver than you should be. Are you Conan or King Theoden? How about Aragorn. Mourning a woman, dying for a kingdom, and a distraction from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 023) No Fap
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A Brand New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading A Different Alchemy, Chris Dietzel
    Completed

Are you confused yet? Welcome to my world or yours, whatever. Only one more reason to lose yourself in books, but Maximo Montoya isn’t helping. So keep your eyes on the prize as they say, and yes, you know what you want. It’s the man you want to find, hmm. Now that’s hard to do with such addictions. It’s like you’re looking for one thing, and then you’re like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole. You stay confused or go back to the “real” world. Let’s only hope you don’t wind up in some cage, which is now on your mind. If anything, you’re like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or Sméagol and Gollum. Anakin and Vader. We both know this could go on for quite a while, and there is too much to do. Legal stuff I should add. Once again, finding something and no, not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 023 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Writing A Brand New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Breasteses Why Men Love Breasts

Let go, stay awake, please look, Wills Lost And Found.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 070 ~Just Wake The “Hell” Up~

WillLeave a comment

When you’re asleep the monsters can’t get you, I heard that in Blue Gender but what am I going to hear tomorrow, chances are it’s going to be all kinds of Hell, but I refuse to lie there and take it anymore. Just Wake The “Hell” Up

Monday, September 9, 2019

Log 070 ~Just Wake The “Hell” Up~

Hundred And First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and also a Time Traveler. Not only because I’m from 1984 literally. Yes I know I’m starting this on a Sunday. If I were, to be honest, Monday has always been a bad day. Eric Thomas does his TGIM’s Thank God It’s Monday. I have a few in my motivational playlist. The thing is, as the rule states, I need to wake up; I mean to everything Madam Justice. As the song goes, open your eyes, look up to the skies and see. Wishing on a star.

Most mornings, when I get up there is nothing but darkness. I can blame The Day Job or my ambitions. The sad thing is, when it’s The Day Job, next comes the bathroom light. I’m a writer, aren’t I? Shouldn’t I be taking that darkness and getting it down on the page? You know the only thing I love more is my Firstborn. Sometimes I see his cute furry face looking at me for his daily walk. He’s there, the sun is up, the birds, everything. It’s a disservice to keep my head down. It’s like I’m looking for real estate, you know. Find a spot and start digging. I look at my life anticipating a zombie apocalypse you know. Often I imagine I’ll make the perfect survivor, but these days I feel like I’m dead. Who knows what could happen as they always say, live each day as though it’s your last; do I?

Well, today (Sunday) I took a step in that direction. You want to know why I feel dead Madam Justice. It’s illegal for me to be alive. Why do I find solace amongst the dead, the machines, I speak on clones. I write about beasts because they have that excuse. It’s too damn easy to lie there and be a joke. Most people aren’t alive; they’re fucking noisemakers (LANGUAGE). Then those same idiots wonder why they are so exhausted all the time. We aren’t allowed to rest because we are too busy always being someone else or something. You know what wakes me up, a pretty face and a nice pair of boobs. The fact that I will look any man or beast in the eye that threatens my kid. Having a damn brain SIGH.

I can’t sleep away life; I’ll face the living nightmares. Just Wake The “Hell” Up

I Will Have No Fear