Tag: Anger

Tale 295 ~Virgil Presses The B’s~

WillLeave a comment

A happy worker bee? Well, I wasn’t. But Braxton? Protect the house and protect me. And I’m sure my son minored in psychology. Virgil on the other paw. He drifts from one comfy spot to the next because what have I taught him? “Virgil Presses The B’s.”

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Tale 295 ~Virgil Presses The B’s~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And your land isn’t flowing with milk and honey yet. Doesn’t that involve work? Take a shower, for starters. You have the power to change your circumstances.

DO SOMETHING! That means more than reading so many books on “relations.” There’s more than waiting on The Walking Dead. You’re here, looking at yourself in the mirror like 1984’s O’Brien and Winston. That’s a pretty gruesome image. It explains why we don’t like each other and makes you miss B III all the more. And what about Virgil Vivi?

He’s sleeping on the floor waiting. For what? For you? What will you do besides waiting for the next P.Y.T. that comes across your feed, reel, or timeline? Whatever. And isn’t that what put Braxton in a box? The critic never understands this… Braxton, the “dog,” was euthanized. Happy now? Anyway, it was that whatever attitude, indifference, and apathy for him and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 5, Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Don’t be like me. A B Keeper? It’s too late for that. And this coming week, it’s not like you’ll have much time for the newest blockbuster. I enjoyed watching ‘Civil War,’ But you don’t have time for movies now. Remember, time wasted is time you can never get back.

And I’m not just talking about the ones in the box office. But the kind of pictures and movies that turn learning Japanese from a hobby into a necessity. The type that makes the song “Turning Japanese” make sense. Uh…

I could go on. But why not read another book? What book are you reading this week… If you can find the time, it won’t be something about missing Braxton. And Virgil is due for an annual veterinary appointment. With what money? Hmm. Make it!

By doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Possessive Stepbrother (Steamy Shorts Book 1)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And why isn’t love on the list? Because Virgil is still on the floor, and you don’t want to look up at yourself. It’s easier to press down on these keys before you than face yourself. Speaking of keys, you’ll have to leave to go to the Day Job. And then what will you do?

You’ll have all your buttons pressed. And the only thing they’ll do is have you wanting to press yourself down harder on this bed that you can never leave. But you don’t want to either. You wake up, and you have to exist in the hive. A worker bee. Hilarious…

Because if you were, your boy would have lived. You’d find love. You’d DO SOMETHING! Anything! Virgil Presses The B’s.

1176 Days Without B III, Day 617 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 291 ~Virgil’s Not Write B~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not a foodie. The BBQ place here knows my name… Dare I say the first time I drove there was after I signed Braxton’s “Freedom Papers.” Nah! But that’s a day I’ll remember. B III’s future is gone. Food. And no effing around. “Virgil’s Not Write B”

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Tale 291 ~Virgil’s Not Write B~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. I haven’t given Virgil Vivi the happily ever after that dogs dream of. It’s Monday, April 8, 2024.

Eclipse Day. But I have only been out for Virgil and Chicken McNuggets. I shouldn’t read or listen to Eric Vall when I’m hungry. Oh! And there was picking up some BBQ. Talk about a bad association. Forever and always, when I think about BBQ, I think about my son, B III. A little weird? It was the first thing I ate after Braxton’s Euthanasia.

Yet I’m not here to talk about my two furry boys… Did I just say that, Echo? I know. Eww! I don’t want to talk about food, Inspector. I’ve bought enough BBQ for three dinners. What about the future crimes I may have committed on this Wednesday? The Day Job? There was the Golden Son finale, too. I’m scared, Inspector.

That’s nothing new. Only to be afraid of books? I’m not one of “those” people. Inspector a story hasn’t rocked me this much since Stroke of Midnight: A Cinderella Novel.

Whatever! You’re not Lady Sophia. And the book Golden Son is not an embarrassment, Echo. I could send it to M Anime without fear. I could tell Cherry everything, Inspector. I could even read it to little Virgil lying here. Of fifteen books, I could read Virgil, two of them. Those other thirteen? There are furry dogs or women without… Anyway, Echo, let’s discuss those stories I can’t share with my boys or female friends. Um, there’s B III’s aunt?

Why not talk about why I’m not writing Braxton’s book or any book right now?

Because you know what stories I’m on since I’m nearly done with Golden Son. All three are written by Eric Vall. There are two audiobooks and one Kindle edition Inspector.

However, let’s start with something innocent… Poor Things with Emma Stone. Do you really want to know why I’m interested in such a film? X/Twitter is not a safe space. Echo, I’ve been going on about Makio Kaneda from the Discipline series for days. Sigh. There was a series I was reminded of just this morning, Keraku-No-OH King of Pleasure.

It’s a love story… Are any of them. The thing is, I want to be that sort of author, animator, and artist. But what do I write when I write. Only Virgil’s Not Write B.

1172 Days Without B III, Day 613 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 289 ~Failure Is A Temporary Condition~

WillLeave a comment

Braxton’s box looks permanent to me. But I know he speaks to me through books, beats, and this boy eating out of his dish. And speaking of Virgil. He keeps courageously running in here and trying to be friends. “Failure Is A Temporary Condition”

Monday, April 15, 2024

Tale 289 ~Failure Is A Temporary Condition~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… I should have made one that said I wouldn’t make it to forty. Thirty? Braxton was fifteen.

Almost sixteen. So that would mean B III was somewhere between seventy-six and eighty. But he will always be my baby. He will always be my son. Dare I say, my first real love? Tupac said ain’t a woman alive that can take his Mama’s place. Same, my dear Madam, same. But ain’t a woman alive that can take my Braxton’s place. I swear it.

Madam, I’m so late this afternoon. It’s Sunday, April 7, 2024, 2:15 PM, to be precise. If you’re wondering why. I was drooling over Maiko Kaneda this afternoon. Sigh. She is the perfect woman, the goddess. I know. I would give her or any girl up for my B III.

But why? I failed Braxton. Final, finished, friendship’s fatal finale.

1170 days, Madam, and I’m still shedding tears over him. I save none for myself. Euthanasia is a permanent condition. B III’s gone, and he’s never coming back to me.

Unless I continue to fail at this existence, and that’s the thing. Failure isn’t required. Madam, no matter what, this will all end, and then what? Gods, Devils, Heaven, Hell. You know where I stand, religiously speaking. But I will never believe my son simply winked out of the universe. And he would follow me anywhere. Comfy clouds, warming fires.

But until then. What now? Once again, I have failed for thirty-nine years. My success. Today, it’s the fact that we’re here. So, as I told the Man in the Mirror, how does that help?

I bet I failed to “keep it in my pants.” My money, many distractions, or my monster, dear Madam. As I said, Maiko Kaneda. Cue me drooling like Homer Simpson for another minute or two. Minuteman, indeed (snickers). And hopefully, I’m not into Helldivers 2.

You know I need to make sound financial decisions. And with everything that’s broken here.

This afternoon, I could have been a decent friend to Virgil. I can’t blame him for not holding it in. And if it isn’t him going outside, there are permanent tear tracks down his face.

Madam, my eyes are permanently tired. But this would all be a temporary hardship if…

I did something? Braxton’s in the universe. What about chances? Failure Is A Temporary Condition

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1170 Days Without B III, Day 611 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 288 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damage Report~

WillLeave a comment

I’m sure THEY once asked, “What’s your malfunction?” Or “What’s your damage?” How long do you have? B had fifteen years. And he went to the grave, seeing me cry about something. And V’s damage. I should figure that out. Braxton, Virgil, Damage Report

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Tale 288 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damage Report~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And it sucks to be you right now. Too bad Braxton and Virgil can’t talk. Then again…

Your boys were/are honest men. It’s one of the reasons Virgil isn’t sitting here today. Braxton’s room is safer? B could be a ghost or some other type of spirit. And while you’ve been busy reading about those ghosts, a coven of witches, and a college boy possessed by a satanic entity, what are you? One more day down, only to rise. Not exactly resurrected.

In your head, zombie, zombie…

If only you could make Braxton the Cerberus of your thoughts? Strange, isn’t it? Virgil. He got his name because he was supposed to guide you through this. What? Inferno?

Today, though, what do you know? At 10:00 AM, you have already failed at existence. You’re content reading about others’ successes. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Golden Son (Red Rising Book 2)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But seeing how you still have this list means you have another chance. Yeah, it’s another opportunity to fail. And since you’ve already made one list, here’s another. Damage Report!

Let’s start with you. Do you remember the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident and The Cherry Collision? How sick were you? Now, you feel the opposite of that illness. It’s scary.

The backyard fence is breaking. Before long, there will be more holes. And then what? Going inside, the kitchen faucet has low pressure. But still, you need to do something to fix it. And you need to check on the bathroom downstairs. Have any guests around? And what about the floor itself? The mess that was made. Tax Refund is currently $335.00. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 5, Eric Vall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So how do you fix it? You got an answer for that: money. So here’s a question: How do you make money? You know what you’ll be doing all day. Besides being lazy? You are going to worry about the Day Job. Okay, so how do you stop worrying about your Day Job? You sit down and write. Did you say that out loud? Now, that’s my fault. I’m sorry.

For forty-five minutes, I was getting into those motivational speeches yesterday. It gave you loads of false hope that everything would be alright. Uh, no. Not now, not ever. Sigh.

And so you sit here, not the captain of your own “existence,” not even a survivor. Looking to your boys, asking Braxton, Virgil, Damage Report

1169 Days Without B III, Day 610 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 284 ~Virgil, Addictions Can B~

WillLeave a comment

I canceled the Balance App. It doesn’t mean I’m being kept from one of my addictions, sleep. And I’m being more of a slimeball today. Seeing how far into the future I’m writing. A week? If only writing was my addiction. Virgil, Addictions Can B.

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

Tale 284 ~Virgil, Addictions Can B~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. More than likely, I’ll face a police interrogation or a manager before my Olds, holy rollers, or doctors.

Would it help if I spoke poorly about B III? You know I’m one to pine away about my son. Braxton had three loves in his life. Should I call them addictions? Food, “my” bloodline. And like father like son, certain assets when it came to any company “invited” over. That’s a mouthful to say. Braxton liked girls. In particular, his aunt. Special K? Nah. Inspector, that was more for me. And trust me, we’ll get to women today. Unfortunately

But today is All About You. Is that what you’re telling me, Inspector? What’s today? Tuesday, April 2, 2024. And the second day of Camp NaNoWriMo. What have I done?

I’ve only dreamed of Braxton sleeping by my feet; as I said, writing is life.

I told him I was addicted to the idea of making a better life for us. Only what beat me?

In no particular order, Inspector:

  1. Excella Gionne ― Resident Evil 5
  2. Scarlet ― Final Fantasy VII
  3. Lady Alcina Dimitrescu ― Resident Evil Village
  4. Boa Hancock ― One Piece (Jahara Jayde Cosplay)
  5. Lulu ― Final Fantasy X

Honorable Mentions:
Tifa Lockhart ― Final Fantasy VII
Aerith Gainsborough ― Final Fantasy VII

A few days ago, Cherry asked me, “Is “Relations” all you think about?” Indeed, Inspector Echo. And don’t ask me how long it will be, “slightly older” women in formal attire, between reading about fancy Golds in Golden Son and then Jahara Jayde in cosplay.

Then, my usual book genre.

But even this is not my greatest addiction. What’s My Age Again? I’m nearly forty!!!
(Indiscernible verbal struggles.) Anyway, Inspector, this pathetic old man’s sleeping!

Today, like every other day, next to having Braxton back, I want to go back to bed. As if I ever left. And then I look at Virgil, who’s always sleeping. Following in my footsteps. Please! I don’t want Virgil getting sick all over the floor again. That’s me walking.

Inspector, I’m addicted to my grief, laziness, and genuine stupidity. But the worst of it? FEAR! Which is why I’m reading a book about courage? I hope I’ve finished, Inspector.

Failure is quite addicting as well. Like the touch of Braxton’s fur, the female form. Silence! Virgil, Addictions Can B

1165 Days Without B III, Day 606 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 282 ~Your Father’s Sins Aren’t Yours~

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t think I’d be a Dad again. Most would say I wasn’t before, as my son has four legs. B’s been gone 1163 days. While I won’t call V, son. And he’s been here 604 days. Some Dad’s “get what’s coming,” “Golden Son.” Your Father’s Sins Aren’t Yours

Monday, April 8, 2024

Tale 282 ~Your Father’s Sins Aren’t Yours~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… Because I’m worse than my father ever was. My son is dead. Yes, Braxton was/is my son.

I hadn’t planned on talking about this today. What, Braxton? No. I mean on fatherhood.

Not to sound cliché, ha-ha. But I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. To me, it is. Take everything you would say that makes one a man.

There was a particular part of me that was quite hard this morning. What, Madam? I was reading by 5:00 AM. Anyway, it’s not that desire, distraction, or deception, Madam.

There’s the aftermath—sons and daughters—everything I want in this world. At the top of the list would be my son, Braxton. Right behind him, Madam, there’s family. And what family do I have? Selfish thirty-nine-year-old so and so. I know that, dear Madam.

A man provides. And isn’t that what my father has done for me? Isn’t that what I do for my… son? Virgil? I’m still not calling him that, but I do much worse daily, Madam.

Shouldn’t I be taking Virgil outside now? Not until 8:00 AM. And what have I been doing besides talking to you? As I said, I’ve been reading Golden Son. Madam, if you knew how many fathers “got theirs” in the last few chapters of that book. All of them sinners in one way or another. But aren’t we all? The things we do to protect and provide. And just to procreate. Braxton never had a stepmom. And I hold out even less hope for Virgil.

Because of what grand sin?

Honor thy father and thy mother? Braxton didn’t have to worry about me reading the word of God to him. And he was the word of God to me. We all have our daddy issues.

God may not have given us the spirit of fear. That was my father’s job or hobby. I’m not a godly man. The last time I asked “Father God” for anything. It was for my son’s life. And again, who am I to complain? I held Braxton’s life. Madam, I took it from him. Inevitable.

I am my fathers’ son. The best man I’ve ever known didn’t have kids. I won’t have to worry about that with Virgil. He can live by this rule—maybe. Your Father’s Sins Aren’t Yours.

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1163 Days Without B III, Day 604 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 281 ~B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V~

WillLeave a comment

Idle hands are the devil’s playthings. I wouldn’t say what I do at the Day Job is good. Well, with how things are going in this country. And while I would rather not watch it, what else do I do? Sleep away V’s and my existences? B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V

Sunday, April 7, 2024

Tale 281 ~B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I wouldn’t waste more money on mirrors. That’s one home fixture you can do without. Ha-Ha

As if you even have the money for that. Last time you checked, the tax refund was $390.00 or thereabouts. Sitting, geez! With everything breaking down around you, sitting, sleeping, or committing sins are the last things you should be going for. And how about talking to yourself? Not that you find our conversations comforting. No! Not at all. Sigh.

If anything, you realize that silence is golden. And that there are differences in silence. There’s the silence you miss the most. Braxton, sitting on the corner of the bed. To know such love and protection. Talk about comfy spots. Surprised the mattress hasn’t broken.

Much like your sanity? You’d even take the silence of B’s passing when nothing mattered. Doing nothing… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Outbreak Rising 2, Lara X. Lust
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You know there was a time you would have been all in on hedonism. Only now, it’s like that episode of The Twilight Zone, A Nice Place to Visit. Or the end of Hulu’s 2023, The Mill. How about Black Mirror’s Fifteen Million Merits? There’s listening to Succubus Lord 6 again. That’s where Jacob Ralston enters Hell’s First Circle and explores the city of Limbo.

Where are you going with this? First, all of these men were comfortable, but they were in Hell at the end of the day. And that’s how you’re feeling sitting here in bed, as always.

Second is the fact that you find no comfort in it. No joy or love. And happiness? Forget that word like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Golden Son (Red Rising Book 2)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And yes, you could go all into how, for the moment, Darrow from Golden Son has it all—so you think. But now he’s going home and wants Mustang/Virginia to know him—the real him. And will he ever be comfortable in the Golds’ world? You keep talking about money.

You would be at your best if Braxton were here and you were lying on the loveseat reading books. Of course, the backyard fence would still be up. The sink would be working as usual. You would have a garbage can outside. The drawers in the kitchen wouldn’t be broken.

You could go on. Laying with some girl in bed listening to 50’s Apocalyptic Rock.

Braxton’s heavenward. Virgil’s hiding. And you? B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V

1162 Days Without B III, Day 603 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 277 ~Framing Virgil For Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

As I said last week, I hope I canceled Balance. I can’t blame Virgil if I lose $70.00, like I didn’t blame him for losing money to Audible. Now getting a bath at PetSmart… I’m a “good dad…” Yeah, ask Braxton about that one. Framing Virgil For Braxton

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Tale 277 ~Framing Virgil For Braxton~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. I wonder if this week started any better than the one now. Time Travel, Wednesday, March 27, 2024.

At least today, the humiliation has been mine alone. Um? If anybody read our conversation. Now, I’ll share with you one of my lesser sins. Bet Virgil doesn’t think so.

My firstborn son, my soul dog, my Braxton, has been gone three long years. Nobody at PetSmart would remember his grooming sessions. But how many has Virgil had of late?

I don’t think of Virgil much, which is a crime in and of itself. But as I sat in the parking lot waiting for them to call, I thought this. “If they hurt Virgil, I’ll burn the whole place down.”

Inspector, the love… not quite yet. Instead, the courage, duty, and honor to protect Virgil. But the only heat Monday of last week was my embarrassment with my eagerness to see him Safe and Sound. At least, that’s what I want to say. My McDonald’s food was getting cold in the car. How selfish can I be, Inspector? Oh, we’ll get there, don’t you worry.

Inspector, speaking of humiliation, I remember Braxton running to me after getting groomed. Yes. He’d be mad, but I was his dad, and He’s My Son. And there was love.

Inspector, Virgil looked at me as if he didn’t know me at all. And I had to pretend I had all those fatherly feelings when I picked him up. There’s no loyalty, love… um, like?

Dante’s Inferno? Do you think Dante and Virgil were friends? What have I done, Echo?

That same ole question. Right?

I asked it that hot, sunny day in August as I first sat Virgil Vivi down in the car. I asked it when I picked up what was left of B III some afternoon in February. I asked it again on Sunday, January 31, 2021, when he was dying. But he wanted to come home with me. And I failed.

Where is my boy? Why, he’s right here in years’ worth of pictures to show that I’m a “good father.” I’m waiting to pick him up so I can ignore the flood that destroyed the floor Braxton walked on. The back fence that Braxton defended always. And the foolish one who is guilty of so many crimes that I get embarrassed by anything and everything.

Criminal! Framing Virgil For Braxton.

1158 Days Without B III, Day 599 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 275 ~Don’t Let Later Become Never~

WillLeave a comment

To leave with love and not later. When I would leave Braxton, it was never later. “Love you, B, Love you, Braxton.” Now it’s “Later V, Later Virgil.” And Hi Ho, Hi Ho, into this Hell I go. Because I’ll always write later. Don’t Let Later Become Never

Monday, April 1, 2024

Tale 275 ~Don’t Let Later Become Never~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… But I’m here, aren’t I? I’m sitting at the Dining Room table on Wednesday, March 27, 2024.

And no, I’m not kidding. As a matter of fact, I would argue that the most dangerous words ever spoken are as follows. “Just Kidding!” To think I once wanted to be a comedian. Ha! Only I ended up being a joke. And though I do laugh. I’m not too fond of it, my Madam. Now, the saddest words are easy. “He’s gone,” meaning my little boy, my son Braxton. How about I speak like a “great” man? Well, I don’t think so. And I will never be great, but…

“I’m from the Government, and I’m here to help.” ―

The Nine Most Terrifying Words. Hmm. What terrifies me today is Later. Not only the word but the emotion behind it. It’s like saying my son’s name. What happened, Madam?

What comes next? Nothing! Never!

You know why I’m not one for God. Um! Besides, the last time I prayed, Madam, my son ended up in a box. It’s the fact that they say God’s Gonna Cut You Down, but again I’m here. And I must ask, is this Hell, or am I a zombie? Answers… to fifty million fables

But I don’t want to find them. Is ignorance bliss? Or how about I use my words, dear one?

That’s why the word later is so dangerous. I keep saying I’ll find the words later. I will do anything and everything later. And how long did it take me to get out of bed this Wednesday afternoon? It’s such a small thing, Madam. (Insert size joke). Later, took B.

I didn’t say later. When I left my boy on that steel table. And that’s why I am still there. I’m still here. And I’m waiting with later on my lips to be struck down by some asteroid falling from the sky. What about a virus that strikes without warning and takes me down, Madam? What about we finally face the zombie hordes? And I’m no hero but only food.

I’m starting to get why I’m leaning into these Space Wars, Golden Son, and Helldivers 2.

Later is my punishment, and never was Braxton’s. And that’s why this rule exists. Will I fail him again? For the last time, Madam. Here I am. Should I say goodbye, later, or nothing? DO! Don’t Let Later Become Never

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1156 Days Without B III, Day 597 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 274 ~They’ll B Questions, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

When I was young, I would write out math problems. Never solve them; just write them out. I would try to define science, but I didn’t know any formulas. And I read plenty now. Only I can’t answer any of life’s questions. “They’ll B Questions, Virgil”

Sunday, March 31, 2024

Tale 274 ~They’ll B Questions, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I have a question for you. Why are we talking? You have no answers. Advice? Actions?

Only a mind like yours can take watching The Ten Commandments. Then, turn it into Bumblebee from The Transformers. And then spend this morning asking. Do Dogs Have Knees? Is that a compliment? Somehow. To say your mind is quite unique or creative? Ha-Ha! NO!

It could be as simple as I doubt Braxton would have any answers for the backyard fence. But most of the time, his silence was all you needed. When B did cry… The Last Time.

And now you’re crying. Not sweating from some book? Do you think you’ll finish Golden Son this week? And you’re not spilling anything. Come on, man, it’s Easter Sunday, sheesh! Not that you’re religious or anything. Priests look at themselves. But you? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Healing Hearts by Jameson Evan Salas
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The reason you didn’t let Braxton have a say this morning is that you rather like how he talks now. Nothing’s better than having him in your arms. Next comes books, beats, and benign memories.

There’s not much kindness in the brain you carry. You’re listening to zombie moans again. But it could always be worse. Remember, it is a holy holiday. Only last night while I was watching The Ten Commandments. I was cleaning out the phone, which included plenty of photos and videos of moaning. And then there were the holy rollers moaning.

But what do you do day and night? You will have all these questions. And when you can’t answer one of them, then what? They’ll become like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined, Uh, Golden Son
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I don’t have any advice to give you. And why pretend you’ll accomplish any of these things? You’ve already failed 6 and 5 by waking up and being broke. And with what the Day Job pays you. If only you accomplished 3? That would mean you have time for 2. You keep thinking about 4, so there’s little hope there. And number 1 should be Golden Son. But you won’t make any promises there. That’s everything. So, here’s a question.

How are you going to live this life before you?
How will Virgil Vivi live?

Because existence is always in question. And it’s not an answer either. You’re not Darrow.

He has so many questions, but there is always an answer. But with your existence/life? Sigh! They’ll B Questions, Virgil

1155 Days Without B III, Day 596 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will