Tag: B

Meditation 159 ~Braxton Is History Virgil~

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I’ve been watching 1984 Lore and reading Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. Amazon is telling me it’s my history to read Christmas Erotica. Did you see our next president? Braxton isn’t here to help me survive this next term. Braxton Is History Virgil.

Saturday, December 7, 2024

Meditation 159 ~Braxton Is History Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Does that mean I’m becoming more like MAGA? When I’m down, I think of my Braxton.

I’ve had my share of struggles, including moments of self-harm, largely influenced by my father. But the most intense period of me existing was when Braxton ‘passed away.’ The desire to leave because of my father was in stark contrast to the need to stay for my son. It’s ironic.

Stupidity? At the end of the day, I’m better than MAGA. Do you know why? I know my history. And yes, sometimes it sucked. Some parts make me sick. And yes, sometimes I was the skeevy one… Do you remember why I even started this blog? To share? My madness…

Lunalesca, if I recall, I was mad at some skinny brunette or trying to get her pants, whatever. It’s history. And that’s what I’ve been doing lately, studying history. Before…

The United States of America is history. Yes, I know what today is, Pearl Harbor. But more to the point, I’ve been reviewing the book, 1984. My father got me to read that, Lady Lu.

So it wasn’t all bad? The past. You wouldn’t know that from history. We’re not allowed to celebrate the triumphs that came from the tragedies. It’s like everything was perfect as long as a group of people lived in perpetual turmoil and terror of another group of people, Lunalesca. And it’s like one of my history teachers would spout relentlessly:

“History is Written by the Victors.” ― Winston Churchill? Unknown

And I always wanted to say history is written by the survivors, the breathing Lunalesca. Somehow. Someway, the truth would get out. And now I see it torn apart, Lunalesca.

History is written by the sword. It’s just another way of saying by the victor. And maybe that’s what my dream meant last night. I saw Zorro fighting Captain Love. But I couldn’t see their swords. They went back and forth, swinging their hands to and fro. But for not.

So what was the dream telling me? It was set in the past, and there was no way to move on to the future except to run the enemy through. Run away, escape. Or run into the enemy, and then what? End up with my hand in a jar. My head in another. Being history.

Only after I tell Braxton’s story. Braxton passed. Virgil’s present. And my future… I’m the victor. Braxton Is History Virgil

1406 Days Without B III, Day 847 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 157 ~B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil~

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How can one be so unfortunate? The death of a child. Wow! That’s dark. And Braxton was grown… in dog years. But I’m forty, scared to death (I wish) that my father is going to beat my ass for failing math. Am I out of bucks? B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Meditation 157 ~B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil~

1404 Days Without B III, Day 845 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Judging by how late I am today… Even on a relatively good day. Three hours?

Only if I had used those hours on… I don’t know. One of “my” novels that doesn’t offend everyone. Or doing something on camera that offends everyone, and I hope you didn’t see. Yeah. And I could have stuck around at the Day Job to make more money. Virgil, B.

He’s not going to save himself. But then again, I couldn’t save you either. And most days, I don’t even want to save myself. For what? The highlights of my day were only having three hours at the Day Job. There was the McRib sandwich. And that was only because I couldn’t afford a Big Mac Meal. And then there was the nap I took that brings us to now.

How long is a nap?

Well, you’ve gone for The Big Sleep, took The Long Walk, went on The Last Ride. And as usual, I wish I could be right there with you. What? Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed? It’s the fact that I woke up yet again. Unfortunate, isn’t it Braxton for Virgil?

Positivity. That Braxton, I leave to you. At present, I feel like that D student I was in summer school, knowing that it was enough to not have your grandpa beating my behind yet again. At worst, I’m Winston Smith from 1984, facing the mirror and being told I’m the last man. But as always, I remain your daddy. So how dare I dream of harming myself, hatred, and horniness…

That reminds me of when I was coming back. I was listening to my Spotify Wrapped 2024. And of all the songs that made this list, this is how I know you’re talking to me, B. Suddenly, I thought about It’s My Turn To Fly by The Urge. And call it coincidence (the urge). Ha-ha, I hear that song, Fat Bottomed Girls. I’m more for Yabbos… But Baby Got Back

It’s my turn to fly
I’m proving ground tonight
Try to be the best that I can
Grown to be a man
Only human can understand
I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!
It’s My Turn To Fly

Hey, listen here
Now, I got mortgages on homes
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain’t no beauty queens in this locality, I tell you
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Hey, big woman, you gonna make a big man of me
Now get this
Fat Bottomed Girls, Queen

Anyway, my point is I need a reason to… exist. And again, getting up on the wrong side of the bed. On one side, there’s your grave, B. On the other, the business of existence.

Braxton, I’d have more bucks, babes, and beds if only I had done better. And you… B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 152 ~Virgil, Let’s B Friends~

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How to Win Friends & Influence People this is not. I was more of a How to Stop Worrying and Start Living type of person. And am I doing any of that? Well, Braxton’s honorary aunt is visiting today. Hey Virgil, pick up a broom. Virgil, Let’s B Friends

Saturday, November 30, 2024

Meditation 152 ~Virgil, Let’s B Friends~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And how many times have I said it, “I’m an equal opportunity misanthropist,” But Lady Lunalesca…

You know, in REALITY, I hate myself. Or at least I’m not feeling very good about myself right now. There is so much to do and so little time. The effing battle cry that took Braxton away. I was too busy with “spears and shields” and “prepare for battle,” Lunalesca.

Lunalesca, in anything and everything I would do, B III would be right here. Indifferent, he was not. We were brothers in arms forged in fear of my father, in finding reasons to keep fighting the world and effing Yabbos. But how did Braxton and I find each other? I found him in the “Maker’s Hand.” He found me when he was long forgotten, Lu.

How to Win Friends & Influence People, indeed Lady Lunalesca.

I can’t believe I thought I read that. And speaking of my disappointment when it comes to books… Today, I’m going to fail to finish a book for tomorrow. Well, yes and no. I intend on winning NaNoWriMo. It’s the last day. But I won’t finish reading a book on loss. Or begin reading a book about the dystopia we’re about to live in. Seriously…

MSNBC ain’t no friend of mine. Morning Joe… Joe and Mika. Oh, and the stripper likes me too. Or what about God’s Favorite Princess, Women from the WWE, OnlyFans girls, models, girls from H anime, and those artists I pay for their AI creations? And how about the creations themselves? Where are my real friends? Like Virgil? Lunalesca, I’m me.

And “me” is about to host Braxton’s honorary aunt, and everything is still a meshiver. Mooning away at Cherry’s Yabbos isn’t helping. And I didn’t even wish M Anime a Happy Thanksgiving. And writing a tale worse than a Bukkake scene doesn’t win friends, Lunalesca.

I’m surprised Cherry is still talking to me. M Anime knows I’m writing. And I met Braxton’s honorary aunt through my writing. All my friends of the female persuasion, ha.

So is writing my wingman? It’s a Scrub, and Braxton was way better, though. Don’t I constantly say I didn’t get any because, like his Daddy, Braxton is/was a misanthropist.

Lunalesca, at 40, how will I make any more friends? The problem? It’s me. And yet… Virgil, Let’s B Friends.

1399 Days Without B III, Day 840 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 150 ~Virgil, I’ll B Thankful~

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I’m thankful I have so much work that I can’t think about B. Last week… But today I have to go and visit his grandparents. I have to try to clean the house since his aunt is visiting. And I have to take care of his baby bro. “Virgil, I’ll B Thankful”

Thursday, November 28, 2024

Meditation 150 ~Virgil, I’ll B Thankful~

1397 Days Without B III, Day 838 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Happy Happy Turkey Day! Because Thanksgiving… Braxton… A pat on the head and some food.

That, my son, is what we call Tradition, Tradition! Tradition! But not today, I’m afraid.

Afraid when I’m supposed to be thankful. I’m as thankful as a Native American learning the truth about the pilgrims. Braxton, I wish you would get in trouble right now so I could send you away and watch Karlee Grey and a Native Guy… I’m thankful for 161 days, B.

That was the time before, and you passed that your Old Man wasn’t thinking well… Second Head Shenanigans. Please remind me, B III, that if Second Circle Creations or Unexpected Goats don’t take off, I’m naming my company Second Head Shenanigans. I’m thankful I’m alive, so I might see it someday. Existing? Not really, Braxton. Just one of dem days.

Don’t Take It Personal… How can you not? It’s Thanksgiving. And do you know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about all the words I was thankful for saying and the ones I did not. Like, Stay? I told you we weren’t going HOME; I was sorry I couldn’t save you. I told you, Braxton… you had my permission to go. And what came next? Veni, Vidi, Vici.

I’m sure you did that when you took The Rainbow Bridge. And today, more than ever… doubtful… I want to join you because it beats going to your grandparents. Inevitable, ain’t that right, B? If I want to provide for your brother and me. Am I the baddie? B III. Taking everything from your grandparents…

It doesn’t stop me from feeling like Plymouth Rock landed on me. And everything hurts. I’m thankful for your grandparents, B, but my peace has been wrecked for today, sadly.

I’m thankful to your aunt, who’s visiting on Saturday. But everything is a mess. I’m thankful for M Anime’s butt today, but I can’t tell her I’d like to stuff her today. I mean, I’m more of a Yabbos guy. Don’t lie, Braxton, you were as well… with your aunt.

Speaking of Yabbos, I’m thankful for Cherry’s. Though she’s never let me see her cherries. And I’m thankful for leotards. One day, it’s nurses. Next, it’s dancers, gymnasts, and swimsuits. Your Dad’d a creep and a weirdo, but I’m not MAGA. Virgil, I’ll B Thankful

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 145 ~The Braxton Fandom, Virgil~

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Less is more, right? People would rather I was crying about B or complaining than V and I aren’t close rather than, well… Stealing scenes from Bible Black, Hisato Azuma, or Femme Fatales “Family Business.” My fandoms. The Braxton Fandom, Virgil.

Saturday, November 23, 2024

Meditation 145 ~The Braxton Fandom, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… No, I’m not the next president of the United States. But I’m surrounded by STUPID people.

Or so I was yesterday. And yes, Lady Lunalesca, I have looked in the mirror lately. However crying over Braxton doesn’t have my eyes all puffy. Instead, I’ve been sweating, working on Nightmare At The Meat Market. I’ve been a fan of my novel more than Braxton or Virgil. Sigh…

Chapter Sixteen: Prices Burst… Inside Of Me
Richard Thornfield whores out Sofía. The customers and girls align themselves with William. William and Sofía have sex.

  1. Told from Sofía’s POV. Sofía is forced to watch William’s sexual exploits on video by Richard Thornfield to try and break thoughts of friendship.
  2. Richard Thornfield keeps the secret that it is William who is creating the scenarios in which Sofía is used. Sofía continues to trust William.
  3. Sofía takes part in a lesbian orgy scene involving women pretending they’re witches. Some of the women are BLANK, her mother, and her sister.
  4. Several of the women, while having sex, whisper secrets to Sofía that William has a plan. Richard, sensing something, decides to take Sofía sexually.
  5. Sofía is paraded through an office building as she was during her night at the hotel. Clients have sex with Sofía but relay demands.
  6. Sofía tells William what the clients demand as he watches from the shadows and agrees with SOME of their demands. William continues escorting Sofía.
  7. William has an orgy at his home with some of the girls, including BLANK. During this, he finalizes his plan. Sofía watches it livestreamed.
  8. Sofía arrives at William’s home and sees him with BLANK again. BLANK leaves. Sofía confesses her fears to William. But wants to make love.
  9. William pulls out a remote, and Sofía runs into his arms, knowing that Richard Thornfield and Cherry can see them. William pushes the remote.
  10. William and Sofía make love after William fries all of the hidden cameras. But no one shows up to stop them from having sex.
  11. Sofía kisses William goodbye in the morning and returns to Max-Mart, knowing she’ll be punished but not caring as the guards touch her body.
  12. Cherry calls Sofía stupid for what she did with William. Cherry tells her someone worse than Richard Thornfield will attend tonight’s party and show.

Rather… The Braxton Fandom, Virgil
1392 Days Without B III, Day 833 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 143 ~Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil~

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WARNING: 18+ For elements of the novel I’m writing. Or am I being lazy yet again? I wonder how many stories I read that were suitable for my son. I didn’t start writing “decent” stories until he died. But for today, Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil.

Thursday, November 21, 2024

Meditation 143 ~Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil~

1390 Days Without B III, Day 831 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Virgil won’t. I know that’s a mean thing to write. Braxton, it’s just the truth.

Thinking it and saying it out loud… Save it for the books, right? Do you remember all those days I spent writing? And every day I read. You were bored out of your mind B.

So today, sit beside me, my OLDEST son, and sleep.

Chapter Fourteen: We Sell Everything… Including Pussy
Antonio, with Cherry’s help, begins his acts of sabotage against Sofía to make her undesirable to Richard Thornfield.

  1. From Antonio’s POV. Begin in Cherry’s limo, where Cherry presents Antonio with a drug. The drug is meant to make a person pass out.
  2. Antonio goes to the bunker movie set and switches Sofía’s sexual drug for the one that will render her unconscious. Meanwhile, Cherry distracts William.
  3. Antonio watches as Richard Thornfield gives Sofía the pill and begins to undress her. But Sofía passes out softly. Richard Thornfield, angry, only continues.
  4. Antonio watches as Richard Thornfield has sex with Sofía while passed out. When finished, he calls to William. Cherry grabs Antonio, pulling him away.
  5. Antonio yells at Cherry for what was done to Sofía, both by Richard Thornfield and others, as he watches the movie that was made.
  6. Cherry assures Antonio the plan is working. Giving him a baseball bat and instructing him to destroy the next movie set. A convenience store.
  7. Antonio, in a mask, arrives with several men, William and Sofía to the store, finding it wrecked. Sofía jumps to William breaking the rules.
  8. The men want to punish Sofía, but William calls Richard Thornfield and arranges a parking lot scene in which Sofía has sex in cars.
  9. Antonio grows increasingly angry but is once again pacified by Cherry. Cherry gives him a revolver and tells him to leave it for Sofía.
  10. In the classroom movie set, Antonio leaves the revolver within Sofía’s reach, who takes the chance to try and escape. Sofía fails to escape.
  11. Antonio watches as Sofía and another girl are punished harshly. They surrender themselves for two new girls. But William/The Director has to take them.
  12. Afterward, Antonio and Cherry overhear Richard Thornfield railing against Sofía. Richard Thornfield says that Sofía is more trouble than she’s worth. Antonio begins worrying.

SLEEP! Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 138 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Play~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t want to read, watch, or hear the news. To quote a REPUBLICAN senator, “I don’t want reality!” I haven’t since Wednesday, November 6, 2024. Hell! I haven’t since Sunday, January 31, 2021. Further? E-Day. So… fantasy? “Braxton, Virgil, Go Play”

Saturday, November 16, 2024

Meditation 138 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Play~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or I would be if I got my Tony Montana on… Push It To The Limit

Honestly, Lady Lunalesca… I’ve been working on my novel. If you’re wondering why I’m so late. You know, the type that I read or watch… But if I were watching, I would have to send Braxton and Virgil out of the room. I’m far too comfortable with B’s ghost. Energy?

Anyway. I haven’t had to kick out my boys because MAGA has made No Nut November far too easy. And that’s with me writing a story on Trafficking Crimes. Come now, Lunalesca, you know my favorite critic isn’t going to read this. Even if I tone down the outline/synopsis I’ve been working on for most of the morning. I am going to have to go shopping, or I’ll starve. Plus, Walmart gets funny with money.

Do you remember those earbuds that weren’t earbuds I bought the other day? I swear!

More like save that for my story. And speaking of books, I’m still debating whether to read about apocalypses, dystopias, and the world’s end. Or making Christmas babies. With all the bad news coming out of Washington D.C… Effing MAGA, I’ve been working the streaming services over time. Last night, I started watching Brave New World. I’ve read the book. And I saw this movie called Humane, which I wouldn’t be surprised if MAGA implemented. You don’t want to acknowledge climate change but (deleting) citizens…

But is my book world any better? Chapter 10’s Synopsis, Better Deal Days Are Coming:

William watches helplessly as Sofía makes love to Mr. Thornfield. William’s shoulder injury reveals to Sofía he’s The Director. Cherry teases William with her hand. William relives the night’s events that morning and debates with himself in the mirror how he will explain to Sofía his role in her occupation. Mr. Thornfield calls William to discuss ideas for more videos starring Sofía biblically. William is asked if he would like to quit. He refuses adamantly. Mr. Thornfield attempts to assuage William’s feelings with money. William and Cherry go to the bank. Cherry confesses Sofía was punished by the men in the Max-Mart restroom for William touching her during the escape from the hotel. William’s enraged. Returning home, William texts a girl for dating to forget what he’s done and will continue to do to Sofía. William’s doorbell rings, and he finds Sofía with pizza. Sofía says they need to talk.

Well, Lady Lunalesca, it was worth a shot. But my stories usually have twenty chapters, considering this is chapter ten, and NaNoWriMo has clocked me at 25,500 words. So far…

Why do I still feel so lazy and worthless? I had to turn on the heater today. We both know who’s footing that expense. What Kind of Man Would I Be if this was published.

Wealthy and able to pay my way in this world. But I send my boys away. Braxton, Virgil, Go Play

1385 Days Without B III, Day 826 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

You know why I don’t feel better about my writing. It’s because I refuse to watch the news these days and see the horrible things they’re posting, printing, and prattling about. I’m Shakespeare by comparison. But this will only be “A B Paper Virgil.”

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

1383 Days Without B III, Day 824 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’ve wasted 40 minutes of mine, at least… Don’t worry, it’s all been sleeping, Braxton.

So what, I’ve traded one vice for another? Considering I put you to sleep… (Gasps)!

Braxton, must I bring that up every day? I still have the paperwork in the Den. Your freedom papers, in a way. But I won’t talk about freedom for much longer anyway with who will be in charge come January. If only we knew how good we had it back then, B. Well, you did. Dogs always know. And even in the end, you begged me to save my paper.

Braxton, you just wanted to come “home.” And when will I tell that story? Madness. Braxton, I didn’t understand my writing, which made me part of the resistance. Well now. The rebellion. Dare I say, righteous? As the world ends…

Not that I can be or write something so profound as “The Man Who Watched the World End” by Chris Dietzel. When did we become a book club again? Anything that keeps me from the news these days. So it’s like old times except this is more than the Day Job. The things I would do… The paper, as in cash, money, I needed to keep you fed. And happy…

Writing? I need to be doing a lot more of that. And yesterday was the first semi-decent day. Braxton, I’ve seen better on your training pads. And what about Virgil. He’s living the high life. He is on the bed, and I haven’t had to kick him out. You know I need private time, sigh…

Speaking of which. And I shouldn’t be telling you this. But I’m always one for coincidences, B. I was looking up a girl for the novel I’m writing… Where have you heard that before? Hmm. Anyway so she was in “Himawari Wa Yoru Ni Saku.” The source said that the movie was released in January of 2021. I swear that month wasn’t good, Baby B.

The month you passed and all. But to think that I would be writing about that girl, you, and looking up what happened on the very day you left? If I had been so studious.

Colleges don’t take my type of writing kindly. Which is weird with what I’m writing now. Everything? Notes to you, Braxton… A B Paper Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

WillLeave a comment

My son, B III, died on Sunday, January 31, 2021. His last great act was to see me through a Trump Presidency, COVID, and life. Now come January 2025. I see another on the horizon, and I don’t blame Virgil. I blame people. Me, Braxton And Virgil Rage.

Saturday, November 9, 2024

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And I am still angry. At what? I woke up late again. Grayson “cheated” on Robin.

Not really! I’ve read every Satan’s Sorority Girls title so far. Grayson is more popular than Lou Bega in “Mambo No. 5.” Robin, Julia, Tasha, Fiona, Chrissy, who’s next, Lunalesca?

Who’s next? What’s next? Donald J Trump. And that Lady Lunalesca is why I’m angry. I’m in a rage. And when I’m not burning, my blood runs cold. I’ve looked at my “special” drawer on multiple occasions. The cold steel. But I got Virgil to raise. And Braxton to mourn.

Though the tears I have shed this week have been for my country. And for the loss of Madam Justice, both figuratively and literally. I’ve started “my” FIRSTBORN series. This will be Braxton speaking through me. Braxton saw me through Trump’s first term. Apocalypse Buddy.

And the reason I will be seeing the ninth circle of Hell. Soon… The Ninth Circle is Treachery and Betrayal… Of my brother, I am guilty. Of my country, well, I did fail her, so I’m guilty. Of my God? I knelt to no one other than my son B. And beautiful women, way back.

Being Braxton’s father required sacrifice… But I have always quoted I am an equal opportunity misanthropist. And while I hate myself most of all, Lunalesca. People have been driving me mad since Election Day. And I dare compare it to the day my Braxton passed away. And this is the conclusion I have drawn. “Are you getting a new dog?”

“… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” ― from Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle

Braxton’s body was still warm, and “my father” asked that.

Talk about hatred and stupidity. “My father” can call me STUPID all he likes and threaten me with slavery and death, but to spit on my son’s life like that… But as Anne Frank said:

“Despite everything, I believe people are really good at heart.”

And that’s what hurt the most. I watched the world continue after my son died, and I thought that it was a good place and “my” pain was “my” own. And that was that, Luna.

Now, nearly four years later, I see that the world ain’t worth nothing. People feel about America like my father did about “my” son. The fear, hatred, and stupidity. Sickening!

Lunalesca as Greta Thunberg put it: HOW DARE YOU! And it leaves me with nothing but rage. Yet I wonder how Braxton And Virgil Rage.

1378 Days Without B III, Day 819 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 129 ~An Enormous Blank, B~

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I bet people are still drawing a blank on who won the presidency. Please be Kamala! PLEASE BE KAMALA! But here I am, talking to the ghost of my best friend. Or a harem girl. The Man In The Mirror. A future wife. But next Monday… An Enormous Blank, B.

Thursday, November 7, 2024

Meditation 129 ~An Enormous Blank, B~

1376 Days Without B III, Day 817 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing how we’re talking from days away. You know how today turned out. Bad? Whatever.

At least I don’t have to tell you I don’t want to talk about it. I’d just flop down, Braxton.

A “Blank Space” Baby B. Am I thinking about Taylor Swift right now? REALLY? NOPE!

I wish all of my humiliations, hedonistic tendencies, and hunger were all blanks. What am I talking about? What will I be doing for dinner tonight? By the time you see this… I should have a little cash to eat. But that’s not the only reason my stomach’s in knots.

It’s election Day, the better of the E-Days. Do we have a new president yet? I’m rooting for Kamala Harris, you know, B. “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” This world is tough enough without you.

And we were always prepping for when the dead walked the Earth. If MAGA won… What would the world be, B? Talk about emptiness, the Endless void, simply the end.

Something so Enormous… I know Braxton, positive vibes. I’m not one for prayer. I hope.

But what do you hope for Braxton? Have I decided to let you speak on Monday? I don’t know. At this moment, I’m still drawing a blank on what I will do. No Rules! Run!

MAGA has a ton for me but not for themselves. And again, I’m not the most “Law Abiding Citizen.” If it isn’t the government or TRYING… to be a gentleman, it’s the GD Day Job.

Monday, November 4, 2024. I’m not even giving myself a break, doing some other BS. Braxton, if I could only let my mind go blank to escape today’s humiliation smorgasbord.

Anyway, let’s talk about us and my thoughts at said hellhole. Working the Day Job! “Brother, my brother…” “Brother, brother, brother…” I told you I’m not listening to Taylor Swift. Blessid Union of Souls and Marvin Gaye. Ok… Reproduction. Conception.

I was thinking how much Christmas… music annoys me and started thinking about the two other ‘holidays’ I get off. The day you passed and the anniversary of my Ma’s biggest effing mistake. I swear…

My Existence. But could I give you yours back? I’ve started reading Pawprints from Heaven. Will you be speaking to me next Monday, Braxton? I long for our connection, mind, heart, and soul, the page… maybe. An Enormous Blank, B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad