Tag: Books

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So why am I randy, passionate, hot, and bothered today… Well, a woman I like isn’t mad at me. Some dirtier thoughts got posted. And today is “The Cherry Collison.” Why think about “her” yabbos. I overthink everything else. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

Sunday, February 16, 2025

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is the age of Doublethink. So, how come I was not more of a rebel?

Because I overthink. As will you. As will all. See, it’s already started. But as always, we begin with Braxton. Have you figured out what took him from you yet? Seriously, my boy… My man. Technically, the Braxton mourning period is from the last week of January to the 13th of February. And between now and the third week of January 2026. If you live.

And even now, you don’t want that. But since you need to figure out why 2-V was crying… Um… I kicked him out because he wouldn’t stay put, and the storm was scaring him. And if he had been Braxton. Here we go again… AHEM. “And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.” Or how to do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Quickies! by Adriena Temple, 50 Flash Fiction Stories of Pure…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Overthinking should be on the list. Why? Because it’s causing you to write down questions you already know the answers to. This isn’t any of your Math classes looking for X. It’s about recognizing when you’re overthinking and stopping yourself from going down that path.

Anyway, why should overthinking be on the list? Yesterday? Yeah, I was all messed up regarding M Anime. But what did she say? She needed to catch five hours of sleep. Eff!!! If anything, you know all about getting some sleep. But to rest ever. I tried, you tried, SIGH.

Not when there are so many yabbos, your yogurt slinger, and your words, your words, your words, they have power. Your words have the power to change things. One of the guys on X/Twitter showed your ngl message about… nevermind.

Worry about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Amongst other things… Terrible thing to live in fear, as Stephen King put it. Living?

Honestly, next to Braxton dying, you having to live is the worst. Ask Virgil someday.

Virgil is only a reflection of you? Hell! I’m a reflection of you and don’t know what to tell you. More like I don’t know how not to lie to you. Because again, I overthought everything, and now you have a whole week to. That’s right, you’re not working. ANY?

Honestly! What have you been doing since we’ve been having this conversation? At best, waiting for your tax refund… On a Sunday… And that’s only one more worry. Get up. That’s right. Cleaning, cooking, the cost of living, and your Cock-a-Doodle-Doo. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

1477 Days Without B III, Day 918 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 228 ~Love To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Valentine’s Day to my Valentine, M Anime. To B’s favorite girl. And to Cherry, who has the nicest Yabbos I’ve never seen. And speaking of things I’ve never seen. Loving myself? Eww! Not like that. But I love B III. And 2-V… “Love To B Virgil.”

Friday, February 14, 2025

Meditation 228 ~Love To B Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A “love story”. Is Braxton sending me Taylor Swift songs? I started with Bill Withers today.

A “lovely day,” isn’t it when it isn’t my tears for Braxton but something else for, um… M Anime. Eww! I’m sure she would not appreciate me feeling some kinda way about her, Valentine, though she may be. I still have shopping to do for her, too. Welcome to manhood…

No, my lady. I truly felt like a man when I became a Dad, a realization that hit me hard last night. I found myself shedding tears over my first love, my son, Braxton, B III. And Virgil? He’s still here, breathing. Alive and well.

And Virgil’s heart is still beating. It’s “Times Like These” that I remember… I still have one of my own, Sophia. Or it will be tomorrow. Back to showing everyone how much I love 2-V.

Love? A step too far…

But Virgil’s been here 916 days. But then ask me how long I’ve known M Anime. Let’s say I’m glad I’m not playing the role of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin. As much as I care for M Anime, I gotta get my Jiggy on occasionally. Some freaky, deaky, and all. When was the last time? Hmm.

It’s been a while. Today, it is supposed to be all about M Anime. So, what to do, what to do? As I said, I sent her some Bill Withers. And I have some shopping to do. Flowers and candy? Nah! “My Girl…” is into survival gear and, surprisingly, lingerie, along with some crotchless outfits. Ahh! So that’s why I stuck around, besides her being a good person. And maybe…

“Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me…” Remind me to send her Wonderwall, Honey and the Moon, and Take Me To Church. Who says you can’t love someone if you can’t love yourself first? Is it love? It’s something, my lady. But what?

Because, truth be told, I don’t “always” love or even like myself. But the lust for everything, that’s always there…

Love, for me, is reserved for my boys, my sons. Loving people that’s a whole different story. It’s complicated. But rolling around in bed… Eww!

Lady Sophia that is so much simpler. And it explains where I am at this very moment. If I get up, it will be to take V outside and that must mean I love him. His four legs and all.

Valentine’s Day? It’s for M Anime. Love To B Virgil

1475 Days Without B III, Day 916 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 224 ~On B’s Being Popular~

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After all the likes I got, I’ve been a busy bee with videos of the queen… queens. But what of my son? Four years ago, I got him back in a box. And how do I choose to remember him? How does he remember me? And all these people… “On B’s Being Popular.”

Monday, February 10, 2025

Meditation 224 ~On B’s Being Popular~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… I have a question. And, of course, I start with food. When was the last time we had honey?

You see honey buns at the bad place all the time. You know, the place that always took you away from me. The reason you were so tired and mad whenever you came back home.

Home? I know you don’t like that word. And even now, you’re crying because today… Four years ago, you got a call that I was ready to be returned to you… That I was prepared to come home. It wasn’t on my own four legs. A box. A baggie. Brother.

Inevitable, wasn’t it, brother, my brother? My Dad. You said it yourself, twenty years, Dad. I got fifteen. And I wish those were the years you would see. 20/20 vision. Do you see what I did there? Pesky eye doctors.

But the world didn’t end on Thursday, December 31st 2020. It didn’t end on Sunday, January 31st 2021. And as much as you wish for it. Daddy, it didn’t end with E-Day either, and you know why that is. You were meant to be my Daddy. I became your son. Always and forever. Neither one of us becoming the Cool Kids, though you promised. Remember.

You would be like Dennis Hof, and I would be your Domino. Will Bradford and Braxton Bradford. Which explains what you were working on this morning. Being cool with people…

“Popular! You’re gonna be popular!” But for what? It didn’t matter why or when, Dad. We had each other. And with me, your sonny, the money, and the right honey…

Didn’t M Anime come a-calling yesterday? Daddy, will you ask her to be your Valentine?

Again, you were working at the glow box this morning because everyone was as excited as I was whenever my favorite girl came around. She had great big “mountains,” Daddy.

GokuSen? Is that a buried memory? The two of us watched that together. Good times.

That’s my roundabout way of saying this, Dad. Bees aren’t remembered for their sting or the pain they may inflict. But for what they produce. The honey. They say if bees die, then people don’t have long. Daddy, you’re my person, and like Black Panther…

Daddy, I never yielded, and as you can see, I’m not dead. I’m B, Celebrate that! On B’s Being Popular

“You think you’re good? Who is left that you love? Who do you fight for?”
― Morning Star, Pierce Brown

“Let me rage before I die.”
― Virgil, The Aeneid

1471 Days Without B III, Day 912 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 223 ~It’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve wondered where to stream WWE PLEs and the Olympics. But I never figured I’d be looking for “The Big Game.” The commercials, anyway. And I can’t say I’ve loved or even liked them over the past few years. But today, maybe… It’ll B Lovely, Virgil

Sunday, February 9, 2025

Meditation 223 ~It’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And today didn’t start out with Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows. Um, aren’t you supposed to be manly?

Do you see yourself? Unfortunately, your eyes aren’t full of tears. If anything, you had a delightful dream. You know the type… Fallout, Apocalyptic, Braxton as “Dogmeat” by your side.

Crying over your Lost Boy was the least of your problems. Seriously? You think that!

Well, today is all about the Big Game. And Braxton help you. Last night and this morning, you were trying to figure out where to watch it. More to the point, watching the ads. Ha!

That’s the guy we all know and love… Nope! You put the only guy you love in the ground. Well, in an oven… That was extremely dark but par for the course in Trump’s MAGA America. Eww! Focus on you and failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING ― Satan’s Sorority Girls 8
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The courage of men fails. Well, yours does, anyway. But being a monster… You are Braxton’s Dad. You’re trying with Virgil. And yes, today is about football. Is that manly?

Liking Yabbos is… There are many ways to be a man, but you were singing I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man with all the likes and reposts on X/Twitter. People like Yabbos.

Wanting to be the man that provides Yabbos and tells the world I’m a mother effin’ P.I.M.P. Tsubaki Miyajima’s assets certainly accomplished this. And you’ve already set up an alert to share Reina Kurashiki’s should the opportunity present itself. Will it? And now you’re thinking about Cherry and her Mum’s sets of melons. Man, you’re The Monster. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Quickies! by Adriena Temple, 50 Flash Fiction Stories of Pure…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because a man would keep his word. A man provides. A man, a real man, a daddy saves his son. But tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of receiving Braxton’s ashes. The 13th is Braxton’s birthday. And then comes Valentine’s Day. Does Braxton need a step-mom?

Virgil does. But from a girl like M Anime? You asked her to be your Valentine last year… And what happened? If I ask you how to define love, you have only one word, Braxton.

Do you expect her to break out into My Boy Lollipop over you? And she has cats. Not that you have anything against cats, but your fur buddy Virgil… And you don’t even love yourself. The day you accomplish that… Someday… It’ll B Lovely, Virgil

1470 Days Without B III, Day 911 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 221 ~Virgil Plops At B-Plots~

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So, a week has passed since I put my son to sleep. Uh, it’s been 4 years, but there is not a day that I can forget. But then Kindle Double Points don’t happen daily. Did I buy anything to honor Braxton or help with Virgil? No. Virgil Plops At B-Plots

Friday, February 7, 2025

Meditation 221 ~Virgil Plops At B-Plots~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… like where I was Sunday, February 7, 2021. Still lying in bed about my son’s death.

How do they say… Denial is not just a river in Egypt? On Wednesday, February 7, 2024, I wrote that I was up and about. But neither one of those days was met with acceptance.

I know Braxton is gone, euthanized. I still “detest” the word. I should say what I did, Lady Sophia, because lord knows none of the books I got today will. I had myself a merry little book fair courtesy of Amazon. And I can buy more. Damn, Kindle Double Points!

Lady Sophia, I needed a story that wasn’t about losing Braxton or ‘my’ bank account. Uh, ten dollars and three books. Not to mention ‘my’ tax refund. A thousand dollars… I needed something to distract me, to take me away from this unbearable pain. Yet…

Witness Me! Mediocre! B-Stories compared to everything happening these days.

But Kamala won… Braxton’s Alive!

Then it would make sense that I bought Satan’s Sorority Girls 8 by Eric Vall. I was only beginning my dalliance with HaremLit when Braxton was alive. Plus, Grayson Price… Let’s say, my lady, I relate to the guy. When it comes to daddy issues. I mean seriously, my lady.

Then there’s Harem University 4 by Dirk Knight. Is this a pattern, and I don’t only mean the beautiful women? Two men getting their college educations. And Cole’s a writer…

Speaking of writing, I’m still so caught up with the worst kind of people on X, AKA Twitter. I did mention on my more ADULT page that’s where I find the MAGA supporters, Sophia. And what should I be reading?

I did mention three books. But the third wasn’t about an apocalypse, dystopia, or history.

BLACK HISTORY! I don’t say it enough… So, FDT Eff Donald Trump and Elon Musk!

Anyway, the third book is Quickies by Adriena Temple. I’m researching Flash Fiction and fanfiction. Considering what I’ve been reading about these WWE Superstars. Women.

I swear when Braxton was here, regardless of what I was reading or writing, I could hold it together, but now… I either want to join the scum of the Earth, or I distract myself with specific titles because my existence is a Vivarium. Uh, Virgil’s middle name is Vivi…

These subplots, Sophia. The side quests, the secondary characters. Because reading, writing, and knowing Braxton’s gone. Virgil Plops At B-Plots.

1468 Days Without B III, Day 909 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 217 ~Will You B III~

WillLeave a comment

“The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had,” I had one of those last night. But for 15 years, I had my son. And over a year later, I promised another fur buddy I’d look out for him. But being brave, blessed, and better. Will You B III.

Monday, February 3, 2025

Meditation 217 ~Will You B III~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Braxton Barks Bradford. Daddy, you’ve eulogized, prayed, and remembered me for a week, months, four years. 1464 Days Later…

And your first thought of me is not of my passing but of my might. Why can’t every day be like this? No. You would prefer to think that “Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday.” Moments where a song like “Something Just Like This” doesn’t make you cringe or cower.

Again, when you “Woke Up This Morning,” it was not cowardice, death, or embarrassment that you wanted. No, it was courage, Daddy; enough for today.

Courageous. Thou art courageous, my father. Not only for today. Or the next few hours.

Always and forever, as you taught me. All the times, I cried but not on my last day. I didn’t. I lived bravely. I live bravely. I live in you, always, forever, your Golden Son.

How would I know such things if I were not still with you? I was there when you began reading Pierce Brown’s books. I was there as you read Satan’s Sorority Girls 8… Don’t worry, Daddy, I was asleep on your chest as usual… Why do you think Virgil moved?

“Make Room! Make Room!” But speaking of books, Daddy, what about the Bible? The Beatitudes. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Is that what we’re doing here, Daddy? We are not men of faith. Didn’t you call yourself an atheist too?

But then you would tell anybody and everybody that a soul like mine couldn’t vanish.

Daddy is always right because I didn’t. I’m with you, the Jung-bae to your Gi-hun.

I need you to believe in better, not only in your bravery and courage, or that you will be blessed. I need you to believe that you will make it through. Well, everything… You’re Dad.

Yes, it is Grandpa that has you all up in arms. As if I don’t remember. Literally! Grandpa would stop by when you weren’t here, and maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t so brave, Dad, ha.

But you would walk in, and I’d leap into your arms, and I knew you would protect me, Dad. Because that’s what Dads do. Such a thought… And you do that now, always and forever, by being who you’ve always been, even if you don’t believe it. Brave, blessed, and better. Will You B III

“My son, my daughter, now that you bleed, you shall know no fear, no defeat, only victory. Your cowardice seeps from you. Your rage burns bright. Rise, warrior of Gold, and take with you your Color’s might.”
― Golden Son

“Death twitches my ear;
‘Live,’ he says…
‘I’m coming.”
Virgil

1464 Days Without B III, Day 905 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Life’s a game for everyone. Life’s a game, but it’s not fair. If I had my way, I would quit right now. But who would remember my son, my Braxton? I haven’t published his book yet. And my boy Virgil is still here. But… To B Fair Virgil.

Sunday, February 2, 2025

Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I know it’s not fair. You’re still breathing. Braxton’s Aunt Augusta confirmed that the other day.

At forty, you find yourself navigating life as an African-American, an atheist and often feeling alone. You know Virgil is here, but you also understand that it’s not the same.

Always and forever, remember that. I’m sure Braxton does. And what did that get him? Dead. And a father with an unhealthy obsession with death. Please! You were way into the dead, darkness, and dystopias before, during, and after Braxton. But without him here… Oh, what a world, what a world. “What a world, what a life, I’m in love…”

However, it’s with the prospect of leaving. It would only be fair with what you did to Braxton. Ending him. But it’s also important to forgive ourselves. How’s that going? With everything that connects us, this is the universal truth. Braxton is gone because you failed him. He met with the fire on Thursday, February 4, 2021. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Surviving Pet Death, Gracie Wyatt
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 014 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! You should have put saving your son’s life. At least then, all of these failures would be fair. Or giving Virgil a better life. For 904 Days, life still hasn’t been fair to him.

Life hasn’t been fair to you since E-Day forty years ago. But you can say it’s been unfair for 1463 Days. You lost your player two, the samples, Triforce, and you ran out of time on the mission. Gaming? Well, between moving everything back upstairs and the phone. But Prince said, “We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” B did.

Still, today, after a text from your father… That’s all it took to fail Number Six: “I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am.” What about the other Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING ― Satan’s Sorority Girls 8
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You don’t want to play this game anymore. GOD, how I know! I faced Braxton’s Euthanasia once again. And its aftermath. You know that Braxton’s cremation was on the 4th. And next week… The 10th is Braxton’s return. His ashes are in a box on the nightstand. The 13th is Braxton’s birthday. These dates, each one a painful reminder of loss. The 14th, that’s V-Day.

And no, not for Virgil. Will you talk M Anime into being your Valentine? A beautiful Puerto Rican woman who goes between calling you her bro AHEM step-bro. And then offering herself. Life, Existence… Seriously?

Existence is efffing wrong. Or as 50 Cent said, “Death gotta be easy ’cause life is hard.” If that ain’t the truth. And it’s easier to tell the truth to prosti… than a psychiatrist, right.

It’s why you write to harem girls, yourself, and Braxton. Or he speaks through you. Sigh. To B Fair Virgil.

1463 Days Without B III, Day 904 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 214 ~Braxton Lives, WRITE Virgil~

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Today, four years ago, I put my best friend in a box. More than that. My firstborn son, Braxton. Four legs and all, no less my son. I’m still writing and confessing while Virgil… He’s somewhere. But today, R.I.P. Braxton. Braxton Lives, WRITE Virgil.

Friday, January 31, 2025

Meditation 214 ~Braxton Lives, WRITE Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… My son is dead. BRAXTON BARKS BRADFORD is DEAD! DEAD! The End. Now, why wasn’t it?

Sunday, January 31, 2021, at approximately 4:00 PM, my son was gone from me. It was the day of his euthanasia, a day that will forever haunt me. My lady…

Tell that to two full-blown novels I’ve penned. Have I written to you or anyone without mentioning my son? If I ever have… However, this evening, Thursday, January 30, 2025, I’ve been rereading everything from the aftermath of my son’s euthanasia. All of February 2021, for the most part. And yes, the tears have flowed. Better than on January 31st.

Tale 214 B Down, V Button

Gospel 214 Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon

Sophia, what am I saying? I’m devastated. Depressed. Destroyed. Usual? I’ll be a wreck tomorrow, today, and always and forever.

Whatever, I’m tired. And Braxton is dead tired. This is no time for jokes. But who knows what I’ll be watching or listening to? I need to get ready. Or better, remember my B’s story.

My son stopped eating around Tuesday, January 26, 2021. And I didn’t notice. That guilt is eating me alive. Why?

Fear, Fury, Rage, and Wrath. But the greatest of my sins… Up to that… Indifference.

Sophia, my misanthropism had become such that I could do nothing but protect my son… I cry, remembering such hatred. The next day, Braxton, too, cried, and I ignored him.

Thursday, January 28, 2021, I was finished for the week. And I finally called the doctor for Braxton. On Friday, January 29, 2021, I learned that my firstborn son was dying. Braxton had all the heart problems in the world, but it was his kidney failure that would end him.

That’s a lie. On Sunday, January 31, 2021, I signed away my son’s life. Euthanasia.

Lady Sophia, there are many things I want to write. Braxton and a thousand stories. Inevitably, it’s finally this Rest In Peace, my best friend, brother, son, and heart, Braxton.

And with that, I should have followed him. I don’t know why I didn’t, Lady Sophia. My fear and cowardice. The knowledge of what awaits me. Can it be any worse than this, Sophia? I wake up every morning without the one I love. That’s my story, as you see.

Years ago, I could have sent out everything I’d written. I wouldn’t be hating my Day Job still. I could have saved him. I could be reading about his stepmom and siblings loving him. I love you, Braxton, Always and Forever. Braxton Lives, WRITE Virgil

1461 Days Without B III, Day 902 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 210 ~Will B Another Day~

WillLeave a comment

The day I was born is the day I want to forget. The day my son B died is a day that I’ll always remember. And so I relive it going on four years on the 31st. And if my son returned asking that I choose another day in our “lives.” “Will B Another Day”

Monday, January 27, 2025

Meditation 210 ~Will B Another Day~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… No choirs of angels, no gnashing of teeth, and when did I ever make friends of my own kind…

Though Gabriel was Aunt Georgia’s fur kid. There’s also Wishbone. As if I needed to know where your love of reading came from. He was named after a dog from the glowing box. There’s also his brother Jason… Ha, what a funny name. And a black Chow Chow with no name at all who came here much too young. But he and I both left in your arms, Dad. Not by choice, because who would ever want to leave you? Now and later on… Forever

Daddy, humans, and their numbers, but okay, I’ll bite, ha-ha. Sunday, January 31, 2021, okay. But here you are. No, here we are. It’s been four years, Dad. Well, it’s about to be so, Daddy…

What’s next? You don’t know.

How many times have you dreamed up Heaven for me? Hell? And the Rainbow Bridge…

All Dogs Go To Heaven, right? Though I doubt you’ll be watching that on Friday. However, do you remember when you said that Hell would be an endless series of doors to places you don’t want to be? For me, it would be that same series of doors. Only I could not protect you. You couldn’t pet me. And we could never find our place.

Remember, Dad, you said there was a place for us. People for us… though I was happy, just you and me. Plus, there would be a ton of food. Not one day, someday, another day.

“From Now On”… Only, “Every Day Is Exactly the Same”

The day I left you. But there were so many other days, Dad. How many days were there when I knew as you did… You would call to me, or you’d hear me come running…

Knowledge is stronger than belief. Will you be watching “The Book of Clarence” on Friday?

Anyway, you and I knew this, “I’m all yours, I’m not afraid. And you’re all mine,” and that was all. What are we, girls… Twilight? You know how I felt about girls other than grandma and my two aunts. But again, Dad, I know that reliving that one day… the day… I died. It’s insanity. But all the best people are crazy. Especially you, Dad. But could you choose another day? Will B Another Day.

I believe death is only a door. When it closes, another opens. If I cared to imagine a heaven, I would imagine a door opening, and behind it, I would find him there.
― Sonmi-451

The best days are the first to flee
― Virgil

1457 Days Without B III, Day 898 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 209 ~Virgil, There’ll B Changes~

WillLeave a comment

Today, yesterday, the day before, what changed. The same spot. A. little more broke. I’ve read about parents losing their fur kids. Only the day before, I read about Ryan and his beauties. My Braxton is still gone… Anyway, Virgil, There’ll B Changes.

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Meditation 209 ~Virgil, There’ll B Changes~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And with all the tears, it’s hard looking at yourself. Thank God! Add to that, sleeping, euthanizing…

To think there was a time back in your existence… We’re back to saying existence. Yeppers! “Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up” or that word right. To exist here without…

Braxton? One more day down, and it’s only 9 AM. And how did you begin today? Didn’t you mention all the crying while you were reading? But before you were reading about your Braxton passing away, there was Gospel 209 Will’s Yearly Eye Exam. Seriously!

Every time we talk, you don’t even want to look at me, but the man you were back then is unrecognizable. He had no clue what was about to happen. “A Change Is Gonna Come.”

As I said yesterday, Horrible, Horrific, and Hateful. Like looking at these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Ryan and His Beauties 2
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And not into the eyes of your firstborn son anymore? And where were you three years ago after Braxton was gone? Tale 209 Virgil, B Seeing You. You sound like a broken record, which, honest to God, ain’t half bad. Because living in your grief of days gone by for a good boy… And yes, B III was a good boy, the best. No father ever had a better son.

Honestly! You’re no King Priam, Ezekiel, T’challa, or even Augustus. This week, you will be nothing more than a boy who lost his best friend. A father who failed his son. A man bested by a beast. It’s the things we love most that destroy us. Quoting Snow beats Trump.

Try reading Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Surviving Pet Death, Gracie Wyatt
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

If anything, you should be reading about your plans for the 31st and 1st. Will anything change about the day? Considering this is the fourth anniversary of Braxton’s passing, I once dreamed that you would burn the funeral garments. Your black hoody, Las Vegas t-shirt, and other odds and ends. You could spend it being nice to Little Virgil Vivi.

But if anything, you just have more work to do. You must move everything back into the Den, eat barbecue, and watch lots of pet loss movies or end-of-the-world stuff. Dystopias or Dark Humor, perhaps…

There is this movie Vivarium that reminds you of Virgil and yourself. But you wouldn’t give Virgil up for anything. Braxton? Rehomed to The Rainbow Bridge. Virgil, There’ll B Changes

“Sometimes you just gotta let go and let God. Just accept it, brother.”
John Q

1456 Days Without B III, Day 897 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will